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williamrikers · 11 months

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On the subject of consent in recent BLs

In this analysis, I will take a look at several love scenes in recent Thai BLs, how they frame consent and the sexual agency of the characters, and why those matter.

(KinnPorsche deserves its own post: I’m sure people have already written in detail about how much emphasis is placed on issues of consent/non-consent throughout the show and how fundamental consent is to the relationship arcs of both KinnPorsche and VegasPete, and I won’t belabor the point here. Also, special shout-out to The Warp Effect for what it brought to the conversation about gay sex, but TWE isn’t technically a BL so I decided not to include it in this analysis.)

I am going to take a closer look at the following shows in this essay: Not Me, The Eclipse, A Boss And A Babe, Step By Step, and La Pluie.

Not Me and The Eclipse predate the other shows by two years/one year respectively, but I feel it is valuable to include them here because both show very explicit negotiations of consent that I feel are spiritual successors to the wonderful scenes we’ve been getting in the other three shows.

Why am I even writing this? There used to be an unfortunate tendency in the genre to have a power imbalance between the “seme” and the “uke” character, which translated into the seme deciding when to have sex and what kind of sex to have—and even though recently, several shows have done good work in dismantling the seme/uke dynamic and questioning the associated stereotypes, it cannot be denied that the archetypes are still an important part of most BLs, and even in cases where the tropes are played with and questioned, understanding those subversions still requires a knowledge of and familiarity with the original tropes on the part of the audience.

However, gone are the days of Until We Meet Again and Dean’s “I’ve waited long enough, make sure you’re ready.” (I enjoyed UWMA a lot but that was. Yeah. Not Great.) Now, we see characters actually talking about and negotiating their limits, and doing what feels good to them.

Let’s start from the very beginning. Not Me was an absolute trailblazer in this regard, and not mentioning it here would be a gross oversight. The first time Sean and White have sex, it happens in their version of the beach episode. (Which, in Not Me, is the two characters briefly living in a tent inside an abandoned building. This show is the best.) Sean and White are removed from their usual environment and protected from the outside world by two barriers: the walls of the old house and the tent that’s literally enveloping them and giving them a space that is unequivocally theirs, shared, in which neither one of the characters has any sort of power over the other. And what happens in that space when they’re about to have sex is extremely interesting: the first thing Sean asks is whether White is afraid of him, which White denies. The following exchange goes like this: White: "So, what are we doing?" Sean: "What should I do to you?" White: "That’s up to you." (Watch the whole scene here.)

I find this exchange incredibly meaningful because this already turns the seme/uke dynamic that can be found in a lot of other shows on its head. OffGun as a branded pair can easily be stereotyped into the seme/uke dynamic just because of their physical appearances, and clearly spelling out that both characters have agency in this scene is incredibly important.

And then it gets better! Sean assumes that White is sexually inexperienced (which is not true but the fact that White was actually in a relationship with a woman back in Russia never comes up again after the pilot episode, so maybe the show expects us to assume this, too), and suggests they try different things and White can tell him what he likes and doesn’t like. Compared to the stuff we’re getting now, this scene isn’t very high heat at all, but it’s one of my favorite intimate scenes ever because them asking each other “Do you like this?” after every kiss, every touch, is so incredibly unique and transports a wonderful sense of figuring out sexual pleasure together, as a couple.

Sex in Not Me is not something one character does to another, it is something that is discovered and shared together, and we even get an afterglow scene in which they gently tease each other about their fast beating hearts. (And don’t get me started on the importance of White choosing to ask Sean whether Sean is okay with White not being like Black in that moment right before they have sex, because he doesn’t actually want to have sex with Sean as Black! He wants to discover and share intimacy with Sean as White, as himself, not as his brother! The layers!)

Anyway, I think that scene paved the way for a lot of the conversations around consent we’re now getting in BL, just because it is so explicitly, unashamedly putting forward a definition of sexuality that has nothing to do with one character actively giving and the other passively receiving, but frames intimacy as something that is built together. (More on giving and receiving later!)

Now, moving on to The Eclipse. I decided to include the first time Akk and Aye have sex for a different reason: while we don’t really see them actually talking about consent, we see them practicing non-verbal consent. Let me explain. Akk’s and Aye’s whole thing is teasing each other. At first, Aye is usually the one doing the teasing, but Akk gets the hang of it towards the end of the show and teases his boyfriend right back. When they’re in Akk’s childhood bedroom together, Aye clearly alludes to the fact that he thought they might use this opportunity to have sex for the first time, which Akk pretends not to understand, all while alluding to it himself. I love this guy. (Watch the whole scene here.) Anyway, Akk says he wants to sleep, lies down and once again, tells Aye jokingly he just wants to sleep, clearly expecting Aye to do what other BL protagonists do at that point and not take no for an answer (sidenote: I HATE the “saying no as foreplay” trope with a passion and as far as I’m concerned it should die already).

However, Aye is not like other BL love interests, and he backs off. He stops touching Akk, lies down with his back to Akk, showing Akk that he takes him by his word: if Akk says he wants to sleep, Aye is going to let him do just that. So now, it’s on Akk to say that, no, that’s not what he meant, can Aye please come back to cuddle. And then Akk is the one to escalate from cuddling to kissing, which is extremely important: we know that Aye has been ready to have sex with Akk since forever, it’s Akk who’s been having hangups about intimacy this whole time.

They don’t put consent into so many words on this show, but Aye shows Akk that he respects his limits and that Akk only has to tell him he doesn’t want to do something and Aye will take him at his word.

So, these are, to me, two foundational scenes of establishing consent: one that shows consent as something that is established verbally, as an ongoing conversation, and one that shows consent as something that is established physically, by showing your partner that you respect their choices and limits by way of simply acting accordingly.

Now, let’s get into the fun part: scenes we got so far in 2023. I’m writing this post on the 13th of June, and I’m sure this year still has some great things in store for us, especially because Step By Step and La Pluie are both ongoing and neither of the main couples are actually together yet at time of writing. However, they’ve both already given us AMAZING scenes on the topic of consent, so I feel it is worthwhile to write about those already.

I want to start off by talking about A Boss And A Babe.

Let me just preface this by saying that the intimate scenes in ABAAB are some of my all time favorites in BL ever, because in them, sex is something that is just so normal. When Gun and Cher have sex, we don’t see them very passionate, excited, reluctant or wide-eyed innocent (which are some of the emotions traditionally associated with sex in BL). On the contrary, in every single scene that shows them being intimate, both characters are incredibly calm. They’re certainly happy to be with each other, but in a subdued way. Someone described their second intimate scene as them seeming like they’ve been married for a few years. They’re both just… incredibly normal about having sex with each other. It’s simply something they like to do together. It’s a part of their romance but it’s not more or less important than any other aspects of their lives.

And consent is at the very heart of it.

When Gun and Cher have their first time, we see Gun explicitly asking for consent two times: first, “Can I kiss you?”, then, “Can I do more?” The second one even comes with the promise that if Cher says no, Gun will immediately go to sleep without mentioning it again. And then it is on Cher to say yes, to pull Gun close and kiss him to show him that he is comfortable with taking things further. (In the show, these two questions were shown apart from each other, I cut together a version of the whole First Time Scene in its entirety, watch it here.)

Now, things get more interesting: the second intimate scene shows Cher initiating the encounter (watch the whole scene here). Cher pretty consistently falls into the uke category, both physically and as far as characterization is concerned, but he’s certainly not shy in the bedroom. And this time, he’s the one who asks for consent from Gun: Gun asks “You’re starting it?” and Cher’s response is “Can I?” Despite him being framed physically lower than Gun, basically at Gun’s mercy, he still seeks confirmation that Gun is okay with the way things are going. Not to overstate it, but to me, this feels revolutionary. Once again, we’re being shown that sex is something two people do together, as a shared activity, and that the “seme” character isn’t expected to just be up for it. He, too, has the right to say no.

On this show, sexual agency is taken extremely seriously, and it is clear that both Gun and Cher give each other space to decide what they’re comfortable doing. This is shown in non-intimate scenes as well: there are so many moments on ABAAB in which the characters negotiate physical touch and closeness, asking each other for hugs before actually hugging each other, Cher leaning on Gun’s shoulder in the car but not allowing Gun to touch him because that’s not what he’s comfortable with in that moment, and so on. (The only exception to this otherwise pretty consistent rule is the kiss in the car scene, which I’m still extremely confused about because it seems to go completely against Gun’s character. Who knows what happened there.)

Of course, the fact that so much emphasis is placed on negotiation and consent isn’t surprising on a show that has such obvious kink undertones and whose Our Skyy 2 entry basically consisted entirely of Dom/sub roleplay at work—I’m just saying, I think someone on the writing team is way into BDSM and knows all about the importance of enthusiastic consent from all parties involved, and I would like to send them flowers.

Step By Step hasn’t really reached the point where we can analyse the dynamic between the main couple (although we can take some educated guesses based on the interactions we’ve seen so far). However, last week’s episode had an extremely important scene between Pat and Put: Pat wanting to have sex with Put, then changing his mind mid make-out (watch the whole scene here). I really like the way this scene was done. No matter how shitty Put treats Pat at times, in this instance, he immediately understood and respected Pat’s change of mind without Pat even saying or explaining anything—at the end of the episode, Put says to Pat that Pat should tell Put when he feels ready to have sex. (We already know this will never happen because of course, Pat and Put are not endgame, but I do appreciate the sentiment.)

BLs rarely include a whole storyline in which the protagonist is in an actual, serious romantic relationship with someone other than his endgame love interest (hi Moonlight Chicken!), or if they do then just to up the angst factor. In this case, however, I feel that this scene raises our expectations for Jeng even further: if the guy who is definitely not a romantic match for Pat treats Pat with this much respect in the bedroom, then Jeng has to do at least that and then some. I do feel confident that Jeng won’t disappoint in this regard, but it’s fascinating to see a show frame this kind of respect as the absolute baseline minimum, with the endgame love interest expected to do even better.

Now, the one you’ve all been waiting for. The one that made me write this whole essay in the first place: La Pluie.

Oh boy. Where to start.

A week ago, we got an incredible make-out scene on Saengtai’s floor, which ended in Patts stopping the encounter because he could tell Tai wasn’t really comfortable taking things further—@bengiyo talked about that scene in detail here. And then, three days ago, La Pluie gave us the most unique, trope-defying, timeline-changing blowjob scene of all time, and I want to talk about it.

Tai and Patts are making out on their bed, Tai is not ready to go “all the way” and stops Patts from undressing him. We see a very realistic frustrated reaction from Patts, who nevertheless immediately stops and accepts Tai’s wishes—it is clear that Patts does not expect things to go any further at this point, and that he won’t pressure Tai into anything.

And then, Tai offers to blow him.

(Unfortunately, this show is only on iQiyi so I can't link to it, but you can get a good impression of the scene here.)

I mentioned the concepts of giving and receiving earlier: other people have said this more eloquently than me, but there is a tendency not only in BL but also in wider society to view sex in terms of giving and receiving, with a lot of expectations and stereotypes attached to the roles during different sexual acts. On other shows, that blowjob might be framed as a consolidation or an apology, something that the giver does out of a sense of obligation without enjoying it much. Not so on La Pluie! Tai is shown incredibly happy and satisfied afterwards, both when they’re sleeping next to each other, as well as on the morning after (see also @ginnymoonbeam's post about that here). Tai offered to blow Patts because he simply wanted to, not motivated by guilt or anything of that sort. And he genuinely enjoyed it! In the post I linked above, @bengiyo points out that La Pluie consistently centers queer desire, or more specifically in this case, male desire for a male body; much in the same way that the camera fucking loves Force’s body on ABAAB: the sensuality of the skin, the hands, the abs, the flat chests, the broad backs and shoulders of these men is explicitly emphasized, and Tai’s desire for a dick in his mouth is made absolutely crystal-clear. Of course, since this is a TV show and not a porno, we only see Patts’s thumb in Tai’s mouth instead of his dick, but the imagery, the implications, are clear as day.

And it is such a gentle framing, too: Patts caresses Tai’s lip lovingly, Tai opens his mouth slowly, seductively, then faces Patts’s crotch with a soft look on his face. We do get a clear sense of this encounter as tender, and gentle, and most of all, desired. Tai’s queer desire is at the heart of this scene, and at the heart of the afterglow scene as well. He wanted this man’s dick in his mouth, openly suggested it, showed Patts he was sure about his decision after Patts asked him whether he was, and ended up clearly happy and satisfied with the sex they had. This post, also by @bengiyo, goes into more detail on that.

This, once again, shows us sex as a conversation rather than a series of predetermined acts, shows us sex as a shared activity, as something that can be wonderful and intimate and make people happy without following what society views as “the correct steps”. I think this is extremely important because one part of queer identity is figuring out one’s own relationship to sexuality, one’s own desires and needs, and BLs that ignore this aspect fall a little short in my opinion. Sure, those men are kissing, but do they experience queer desire? Do they experience joy in their queer desire?

For me personally, a show that does not shy away from these questions is a lot more meaningful than a show that does, and consent is at the heart of it all. By framing sex as a conversation, as something that is built and shared together, the shows I looked at here are actively positioning themselves against the idea that there should be predetermined roles for partners during sex, and instead suggest that queer joy can be found in communication and consent. Understanding sex and intimacy as something that is built together, with both partners as equals in conversation, is just as radically queer as a man waking up with a smile on his face after giving his soulmate a blowjob the previous night.

And quite honestly, a male character who clearly, passionately, unquestioningly communicates that he wants a dick inside of him—that is incredibly sexy. But maybe that’s just me.

#*mine #not me the series #the eclipse #the eclipse the series #a boss and a babe #step by step #step by step the series #la pluie #la pluie the series #i said ''is anyone going to write a 3k meta analysis on this topic'' then didn't wait for an answer

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sxcret-garden · 10 days

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2nd Desire ღ Tie Me Down [M]

ღ Aspects of Desire series ღ Ateez Jongho x fem!reader ღ feat.: Yeosang ღ words: ~5.1k ღ genre: established relationship, college AU, fluff, some humor, slice of life, smut (dom!Jongho, sub!reader, reader masturbating and asking to be punished for it, reader’s hands tied together, he’s a bit mean but goes soft dom when reader shows signs of discomfort, strength kink, fingering, some body worship, teasing, begging, unprotected sex) ღ warnings: (him running his hand through reader’s hair)

Desc.: Lost in your excitement over the recent development in your relationship with your boyfriend Jongho, you try to tickle more of his dominant side out of him. When he shuts down that attempt with only the best of intentions, he makes sure you won’t stay flustered by your miscalculation for long.

Author's note: chapter 2 and I'm STILL nervous about posting kasjdfölksa I hope you guys enjoy though~ alsoalso I decided to do a taglist for this fic, so if you want to be added, just drop me an ask about it <3

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You drop your bag beside the entrance as you walk into Jongho’s apartment, the little melody resounding when the door falls into its lock that’s usually just another background noise to you manages to annoy you on this day. It’s only half past 4, yet you feel like you’ve been awake for more than 20 hours.

You slip out of your shoes and step inside, the sofa in the living room being your destination. With a groan you let your body flop down onto it, the cushioned surface softening the impact. You’ve been at university since morning, your first class of the day being quite an interesting one and almost making you forget about the dreadful events that would follow suit. For lunch you met up with other students from your major to work on your group project, and these people really remind you time and time again why you absolutely hate group projects. You’re a group of seven, yet somehow the only ones taking the whole thing seriously are you and Yeosang, a guy you’ve done a course with before and who you luckily ended up being in the same group with. You know from back then that he does his work diligently enough - what you didn’t know was how badly the other five would do. One of them ran late, claiming he was convinced the meeting would start at 2 and not at half past 1, one of them didn’t show up at all, the others half-assed their parts and one girl only did half of what she was supposed to do. It’s a mess, and it’s stressing you out, because you’re getting a shared group grade for the paper. If you were being graded individually, you would’ve already decided to just do well on your own part, and make sure to precisely document who worked how much, but since you can’t exactly do that here it eventually came to the point where you decided it would be better if you took over the lead. As the person who has assigned herself the role of scolding the others into doing their work properly, you didn’t exactly gain their sympathy, but thankfully Yeosang was right there to have your back. Sharing their disdain was still better than having to shoulder it all alone, so you made a mental note to thank him with a cup of coffee or a meal later on.

But for now you want nothing more than to get this stupid project out of your mind, and lying motionlessly on the sofa and staring at a wall without any kind of distraction from your angry thoughts running wild isn’t exactly the best way to go about that. So you get up with a heavy sigh, peeking into your boyfriend’s room through the gap in the door standing ajar, before walking inside. He isn’t home yet - you assume he must be on his way, because his last class of the day should’ve ended about 10 minutes ago. Walking over to his closet, you open the side where he made space for some of your clothes, and you grab some comfortable pants and a t-shirt you haven’t worn in a while. There’s the logo of a game printed at the front - coincidentally a game you both used to play when you were still in school, and one of the topics you bonded over as you were slowly becoming closer.

You trod over to the bathroom, figuring you should take a shower in an attempt to clear your mind first of all - maybe you could magically find a way to wash off all the frustration the day has drenched you in. Either way, at least the warm water raining down on your skin has a calming effect on you, and so for a few minutes you merely stand there, doing nothing. You reach for the soap eventually, and as you’re cleaning yourself your thoughts slowly drift elsewhere.

Until you remember the conversation you had with Jongho about establishing a different kind of dynamic between you two. Your fingers dance up your body to your throat, and padding them onto your pulse reminds you of what it felt like to have his hand in this position instead. The thoughts of the project are quickly forgotten, yet your cells have not quite let go of the frustration yet - but that’s nothing a quick orgasm couldn’t take care of, right?

So you let your hands wander, allowing them to map out your own body wherever instinct leads them, and as your fingers find your core, you let out a long sigh. This feels like just what you need right now, so you don’t hold back, beginning to draw circles onto your sensitive bud. Feeling your limbs relax from the sensation, you lean your back against the wall, and eventually you reach out for the shower head, changing the setting to the highest pressure and letting it do the work for you.

You don’t think of much at all, simply enjoying the pleasure coursing through your body, until you can sense yourself coming closer to the edge, and you buck your hips up against the water jet.

“Fuck…” you whimper, as a scenario crosses your mind. “What if he finds out…” You gulp at the thought of Jongho figuring out you got off without him, in his apartment, and your mind begins to wander as you fantasize about all the ways in which he might punish you for it. Another curse escapes you through gritted teeth, and soon you feel your high crashing down on you, walls clenching around nothing as his name falls from your lips.

You step out of the shower feeling refreshed, purposely not changing back the setting of the shower head. You want him to catch you, want to know about all the things he would do to you that you haven’t seen him do before. Slipping into fresh clothes and wrapping a towel around your head to let your hair dry a bit before finishing the process with a blow dryer, you grin to yourself and you walk out into the living room.

Your boyfriend comes home about half an hour later, just as you’re putting the blow dryer back to its original place in one of the cabinets in his bathroom. You suppress the excited grin that just won’t leave your lips, and instead greet him as per usual.

“You’re late,” you remark as you catch sight of the time displayed on your phone screen.

“Yeah, the subway was crowded. Should’ve taken the bus,” he mutters as he walks up to you, his hand patting your head in a gesture that’s supposed to say “I’m home.”

“Right, it’s starting to get bad at this time,” you continue your small talk.

“How did your meet-up go?”

“Don’t ask…” you brush it off quickly, hoping to ward off the stress creeping up to you again upon him mentioning it.

“That bad?” Jongho asks as he lets out a short laugh while he furrows his eyebrows, telling you he feels at least a little sorry for you.

“Yeah.” You roll your eyes. “And you? How was your day?”

“Don’t ask,” he answers, and now you’re the one chuckling. “I’ll go wash up real quick, and I think I’ll need some time to decompress afterwards.”

“Sure,” you mutter, before reaching up from where you’ve made yourself comfortable on the edge of the sofa, hand snaking behind his neck so you could pull him in for a quick peck on the lips.

And so he disappears in the bathroom, you hear him turning on the water and you hear him turning it off again after a while, and with every passing second, the excitement for what’s to come is only growing. Except when he’s done, he simply informs you he’s going to game for a bit, and then he walks into his room. You’re confused to say the least, and a bit disappointed as well. This is not going according to the plan you had in mind, and you wonder if it’s just because he’s had a bad day or if maybe he just isn’t in the mood today. Trying to brush it off, you grab a book you started a while ago, staying out in the living room as you attempt to read a chapter or two, but somehow your mind just won’t let you focus on the story unfolding on the pages in front of you. So eventually you get up, deciding to sneakily follow him instead - you’re not sure why you’re being so secretive all of a sudden.

Your boyfriend is certainly good at reading the room, and it’s helped you leave behind your own awkwardness more than once. So today as well you decide to simply sit at the edge of his bed and watch him play his game, hoping for him to notice something’s off as you’re trying to find the right words to say. And without doubt, he doesn’t disappoint.

“What’s with you?” he asks in between rounds, his voice soft in contrast to the serious stance he tends to take on while playing his games.

“Just…” you’re not sure how to start, how much to hint at what you want - you sure as hell aren’t thinking of just saying it straightforwardly, now that you’re beginning to feel a bit embarrassed about it.

“Hmm?” He drags out the sound a bit, then the image on his screen changes, and he adds, “Let me finish this and then we can talk?”

“Alright.” You’re suddenly more anxious than you would’ve expected yourself to be as you watch, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt the entire time. The time spent waiting for him to turn his attention to you feels like half an eternity, even though once he’s done you’re sure it can’t have been more than five minutes. He exits the game to the main menu, and as he takes off his headset, he turns to you in his chair.

“What is it?” You see worry on his face, and you immediately feel the need to let him know it’s nothing serious, really.

“Nothing bad!” you say.

“That’s good,” Jongho answers, relief behind his words.

“Just… didn’t you… notice anything?” You rub your legs together as you avert your gaze from him, but even in the corner of your eye you can tell he’s thinking hard about your question now.

“Notice anything?” he repeats, and then suddenly his eyes narrow, and there’s an amused smile about to creep onto his lips. “Like what?” At this point you’d have sworn you could see the exact moment the dots connected in his head, so his question throws you off a little.

“Like… uhm… I showered earlier.”

“Good,” he chuckles, and you press yourself on to continue.

“And uh…. maybe got off…”

“Oh. That’s nice,” he replies, and once again you’re thrown off, this time by the way the tension in the room drops right away, and he’s now showing you a genuine smile. “Why are you telling me about that though? Want me to come watch next time?” He tries to throw in a joke, but the confusion radiating off you makes him think again, and well, now you’re sure he understands what you’re trying to get at, because he raises up his chin just a little, giving you that look that’s supposed to say “I found you out.”

“Were you maybe thinking I would punish you for that?” he assumes correctly, and you nod, heat rushing to your face now.

“Yes…” Jongho laughs. It’s more of a giggle, actually, and the amusement in his expression only adds to your confusion. And then he becomes serious, though his features keep their softness.

“Look… I’m sorry to disappoint you but… I’m not going to do anything we haven’t discussed beforehand,” he explains, making sure to be clear about his thoughts. “My first impulse isn’t to punish you for masturbating. But if you want me to, we can talk about it.”

“O-okay,” you stammer, and once again there’s this endearing smile on his face, spreading from ear to ear. You know it’s meant to reassure you, but right now all you can focus on is the embarrassment burning in your chest from making such a severe miscalculation. This isn’t how things go in real life, of course it isn’t. You should know that, and yet-

“Hey,” he calls out to you, hand reaching for yours, giving you a squeeze to tear you out of your thoughts. “Let’s talk about it.”

He’s also good at that - saying the right thing at the right moment. Or at least he tends to say the things you need to hear in moments like this, and once again you feel unmistakably that you’re safe with him, and that you’re in this together.

“Okay.”

“So…” letting go of your hand, he leans back in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, and you feel the dynamic shift ever so slightly as he won’t divert his eyes from you. “What kind of punishment were you thinking of?” You raise your eyebrows, and you begin to ponder on his question, but somehow your head is suddenly empty.

“I… don’t know…” you admit, and he grins at your words again.

“You didn’t think about what you want me to do to you now?”

“I mean… I did… but more… in a general sense,” you stammer.

“Like what?”

“Like… you fucking me…” And there it is again, that laugh that’s really more of a giggle than an actual laugh.

“You didn’t think about what comes before that?”

“Not… really?” you admit, and he clears his throat.

“Then how about I tell you what came to mind for me, and you tell me if that sounds okay to you?” You nod okay, and he continues, “So what I was thinking is that I could restrict you in some way… putting you in handcuffs maybe, or blindfolding you.”

“I don’t think I’m okay with the blindfolding,” you respond. “Handcuffs sounds… nice though.”

“See? This is just why I didn’t want us to rush into this,” your partner says. “Because if we move too fast, misconceptions about what the other wants, or just about how this whole thing works are bound to go unnoticed.”

“You’re right,” you agree, being able to see where you went wrong with your assumptions clear as day now. “Then… let’s take it slow. Talk before we do stuff.” An awkward laugh escapes you as you’re speaking those words, because after all you were the one trying to rush into this, and now you can’t help but feel thankful that he stopped you just in time.

“So…” Jongho gets up from his chair, walking over to his closet and rummaging through one of the shelves, pulling out a dark red tie. “I think this is gonna look pretty on you. That okay?” You nod, merely watching as he walks over to you, and when he tells you to take off your clothes first of all, you don’t hesitate. Placing yourself on top of the bed, kneeling in the middle of it, he sits in front of you, and you hold out your hands for him to tie them together. “Not too tight?”

“No, it’s fine,” you answer, the soft texture of the fabric feeling quite good around your wrists, actually.

“I don’t have actual handcuffs, unfortunately…” he explains as he checks the knot one more time, and then he lifts one of his hands to run his fingers through your hair, eyeing you thoroughly. There’s a serious expression on his face now, he’s concentrated as he lets his fingertips brush against the side of your throat, but the way he allows for a smirk to creep onto his lips when you instinctively lean your head back to give him access tells you he’s very much having fun with this.

“You really like that, huh?” he mutters, wrapping his hand loosely around your throat, the warmth of his touch alone causing your heart to beat faster.

“Yeah…” you mouth, and to your disdain he moves on. His fingers draw imaginary trails down your body, moving slowly and deliberately, and his eyes follow their every move.

“So beautiful… too bad I’m gonna have to wreck you.” He speaks silently, and whether it’s because of the tone in his voice or his words you don’t know, but it’s giving you shivers all over and you gulp. His hand eventually finds its way to your side, snuggly fitting into the space between your waist and your arm, and he leans in to brush his lips against yours. It’s a short kiss, yet he lingers there for a few seconds before pulling back merely a few inches - the kind of kiss that’s meant to make you want more. “Want me to punish you, hm? Then, what if I push you a bit? Be a little less nice than usual and not give you everything you want right away.” You suck in a sharp breath at his words. “You’d like that?”

“Y-yeah,” you say, tension building up. You’re not sure what exactly he has planned, but you know he wouldn’t push you too far… right? He wraps the fingers of his free hand around your wrists, and as he brings them up above your head he pushes you back into the mattress, carefully, gently. And yet you don’t miss the dangerous glint in his eyes as he’s now gazing down on you, hovering above you as he pins you against the bed. Lowering his head, he makes you mewl as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, teeth grazing your skin as he scatters a few nips here and there.

“What’s your color, dear?”

“Green… very green,” you sigh, feeling his weight on top of your chest.

“That’s good,” he speaks quietly as he comes back up, his face now being right in front of you and the tips of your noses touching for one short moment. You think he’s going to kiss you, but then he sits up instead, letting go of you to rid himself of his shirt. With every movement of his you can see the outlines of his muscles working underneath the skin, and the urge to touch him, to run your nails down his chest and his stomach, makes you bring your hands up. For a moment you forget that they’re tied together, and you frown at the restraint, and before you can do anything more, your boyfriend is quick to click his tongue at you as he reaches for your hands and pins them back down above your head.

“Wanna touch me so bad, hm?” he assumes correctly, and then he adds, moving closer to your ear, whispering sharply, “No touching unless I allow it.”

“O-okay,” you mutter. You can unmistakably feel the power he has over you now, both in the way you don’t have the strength to free yourself from his physical restraint, and in the way you feel yourself immediately submitting to his verbal restraint.

“Stay like this,” he then says and you nod as he sits back up. This time he lets his palms run down your upper body once as he kneels on top of you, going over to dragging his nails down your skin once he reaches your hips and doing the exact thing you would’ve craved to do to him. But you obey, waiting patiently for his next move. “So pretty…” he mutters, his intense gaze burning on your skin, and after having his hands wandering all the way back up, he leans in to leave a trail of kisses down the valley of your breasts. And again there’s this urge to move your hands, to throw your arms around his shoulders as his lips are mapping out your features, but you can’t. You shouldn’t, and so you resist.

He kisses his way down your stomach, biting your flesh here and there without applying too much pressure, and the way he’s taking his time with it doesn’t help your case as you’re having an internal battle against your own impatience. Rubbing your thighs together as he’s hovering just above your core and he’s touching you everywhere but where you need him the most, you reach your breaking point.

“Jongho…” you call out his name. “Please.” He merely chuckles at your plea, not even looking up at you now.

“What?” His voice is low, quiet. Calmness radiates off of him, like he knows that he has all the time in the world for this.

“T-touch me please…” you mewl.

“Hmm,” he makes a noise as he appears to be thinking about your request. “But do you deserve that?” You let out a whine at his question, and you frown when he crawls all the way back up, only to press a teasing kiss to your lips. “Do you deserve my touch when clearly you decided that you can also just do the job yourself?” He moves up further, his lips brushing against your wrists just below where he tied them together, and then against the knuckles on your fingers. “Can’t get yourself off now, can you?” He places his hand over yours, pushing your wrists into the fluffy blanket as if to put an emphasis on his words.

“Please…” you start another attempt at getting him to do what you want, but he merely sends you a smirk.

“You’re choosing the shower head over me and now you think I’ll give you what you want so easily? That’s naive.” You frown, and you pout up at him, and for a second his features soften, before he moves his hand from your wrists to your chin, tilting it up slightly. Then he places a kiss onto your jaw, and he asks, “Color?”

“Green…” You idiot - you add in your mind, and when he comes back up to get a good look at your face, you can undeniably see the amusement on his face.

“Didn’t think you’d like being treated like this so much,” Jongho comments, and then he lets his hand wander from your chin down to your lower stomach. “Really makes me want to do this all day.” Fuck. You gulp at his words, thighs pressing together just as he slips a finger in between, dragging it up your folds once, and you don’t expect a singular touch to affect you this much, but you find yourself arching your back as you moan in response anyway.

“Relax,” he says, tapping your thigh once, and you do, spreading your legs apart just a little to give him better access. He doesn’t hesitate to make use of that, watching for even the tiniest of reactions as he gathers your juices on his fingertip, moving it back up and making you whimper as he begins drawing circles onto your clit. You buck your hips into his hand once, causing him to sit up so he could use his other hand to press them back down, immobilizing you. “So needy…” he breathes as he continues on, watching you, and granting you a few teasing touches to your wet pussy. He slips a finger inside, drawing another moan from your lips, and when he adds a second one, pumping them in and out of you at an unhurried pace, you think you could cum on the spot. And he notices the way he’s affecting you, because now he asks you with a cocky smirk on his face that bodes no good whatsoever,

“You like that?” You nod, whimpering, and when he pulls out, the feeling of deprivation that overcomes you makes you whine with anger - though you don’t sound nearly as angry as you would’ve liked. “Too bad.”

“Keep going, please…!” you try to beg, and it seems to strike something deep within him, because now he raises his eyebrows at you, listening intently.

“What was that?”

“K-keep going… please… please…” you add, the desperation in your voice being obvious. “Don’t stop now… w-wanna cum on your fingers…”

“I’m sure you do, dear,” he whispers, leaning in to place a soothing kiss onto your tummy, but it just makes you more furious.

“Please!” you cry out, balancing on the edge between pleasure and frustration, and you know that you wouldn’t want him to push you any further. For a second you wonder whether you should tell him, ask him to go easier on you even though you were the one who wanted him to punish you so badly. But he seems to notice your inner conflict, and his smirk softens into a benevolent smile as he brushes his lips against the inside of your thigh now.

“Is that where the line is?” he asks, and you hesitantly nod. He comes up to comb his fingers through your hair, brushing away a strand that’s sticking to your forehead. “Then let’s not take it any further than this, okay?”

“Yeah.” He cups your face with his hand, thumb brushing against your lips, and he questions,

“What do you want me to do, love?”

“Fuck me… please…” you say with furrowed brows, and he chuckles at the sight in front of him. Caressing your cheek as he slowly takes his hand away in order to rid himself of the remainder of his clothes, he retorts,

“I can’t believe someone could say something so dirty with such an innocent expression on their face.” And now that you’re becoming aware of what you must look like right now, you find it funny too, and you let out a short laugh.

Your boyfriend places himself on top of you, one hand wrapping around his length in order to give himself a few strokes until he’s fully hard, while he has the other placed next to your head to support his weight on top of it. “Wanna hold onto me? Or…” You shake your head. “Want me to pin you down?” Adrenaline rushes through your veins, making you tingle all over from the thought of it, and you nod. Again, he seems amused by your reaction. “After all that you still want me to manhandle you, huh?” Him saying it out loud fills you with bashfulness all of a sudden, and still you feel the need to confirm that he’s right.

“Yes… please,” you mutter. He positions himself in between your legs, aligning himself with your core.

“You good?” he asks, and when you give him the okay he pushes into you.

“Fuck…” The feeling of having him finally filling you up makes you hiss a curse as you’re throwing your head back from the overwhelming satisfaction. Jongho reaches for your wrists, pinning you down just like you had asked, and he leans in, his nose brushing against the skin right in front of your ear.

“Can you do me a favour, then?”

“Wh-what?” you stutter, impatience building up inside you again.

“I want to hear you beg for me again… can you do that?” You whine as he rolls his hips into yours once, and without hesitation you grant his wish.

“Please… please fuck me…”

“Mhm… that’s right…” he mutters, and from the way his voice changes as he begins slowly thrusting into you, you can tell he too has been exerting himself holding back from touching you properly more than you thought.

“Please… feels so good… b-baby please…” you keep going, your moans turning into mere whimpers when he reaches down between your bodies in order to tend to your clit. “F-fuck… w-wanna cum on your cock… wanna cum so bad…!” you whine, racing towards your high at lightning speed.

“Shit, you’re perfect,” he utters, his hips beginning to stutter, and the groans falling from his lips becoming more frequent. “So fucking perfect.”

You cry out when your high comes crashing down on you, hands formed into fists and your nails digging into your palms. Once again you try to instinctively throw your arms around your boyfriend’s shoulders, and when you meet resistance as he’s still pinning you against the bed, your mind is flooded with that much more pleasure. He cums with a broken moan as you’re beginning to come down from your high, whining from the overstimulation as you let him thrust into you a few more times, and then he collapses on top of you.

Both panting, he lets go of your wrists and you immediately bring your arms up to put them around his frame, and this time he lets you. Eventually, after catching his breath, he rolls over onto his back, sitting up and undoing your restraints.

“You feeling okay?” You nod at his question, your eyelids too heavy to open, but you smile at him.

“More than,” you mutter, and when he lies back down beside you, you snuggle up close to him. Reaching for your hands, he holds onto one of them, thumb rubbing circles against your wrist, and when you look up you find worry in his eyes. “I really am okay, baby,” you whisper one more time, and he instinctively brings your hand that he’s holding onto in closer to his chest.

“Okay…” he just says, trusting your words, and you send him a sweet smile. Freeing your hand from his grasp, you bring it up to his head, fingers combing through his hair.

“Thank you…” you say, slurring your words a bit as the blissful afterglow of your high lingers in your mind. Your boyfriend lets out a sigh, eyelids fluttering shut at the sensation of you massaging his scalp. “For being careful. And for taking care of me so well.” And now there’s this smile creeping onto his lips. It’s barely noticeable, and yet you can tell how your words are affecting him. And in the next second he throws his arm around you, catching you by surprise as he pulls you on top of himself and engulfs you in a tight hug. He says nothing, you know that sometimes it’s hard for him to speak his mind in moments like these, but by now you know him well enough to know what he’s trying to convey with his actions. You giggle at the way he presses a kiss to the side of your face before having you rest your head atop his chest, loosening his embrace a bit to allow you to lie down comfortably. You too snake one arm around his waist, and with your heart swelling with your love for him that seems to know no end, you bury your smile in the crook of his neck.

#ateez smut #jongho smut #ateez x reader #ateez x fem reader #ateez fanfic #ateez series #ateez scenarios #ateez drabbles #ateez imagines #jongho imagines #jongho x reader #smut

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dongfuck · 1 year

Text

First Snow - p.js

pairing: boyf!jisung x fem!reader

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: very unrealistic food themes (jisung cooks), switch!reader, switch!jisung, unprotected sex, teasing, thigh riding (sorta), slight js!bratty sub, cunnilingus, fingering, degradation, overstimulation, edging, teasing, no pull out, squirting, slight boob play, aftercare

wc: 3.9k

note: this is simply very wholesome for me <3

taglist: @smuchsmut , @nctgirlok297 , @jenojammin , @johnniverse , @matchahyuck , @220513080208 , @ablackbtsstan , @tyongspice1

You began dating Jisung in mid-May so you’ve never really spent winter with him as a couple. You’ve been anticipating your first snow with Jisung ever since he mentioned the things he wanted to do with you this winter. The both of you are currently seated by the fire in your shared house watching a baking show. Jisung’s really fond of baking shows and you’ve never really know why. Although, you aren’t complaining. You are a big fan of them as much as he is. Suddenly, you felt this urge to look out the window and so you did just that. Twisting your head slightly, you averted your gaze from the TV and that’s when you saw small specks of white falling from above.

Gasping audibly, you ran towards the window and watched the snow in awe. “Jisung!” you called out for your boyfriend who was too focused on the show to notice your enthusiasm. “Yep?” his eyes were still trained on the telly. “Jisung, its snowing!” you turned your body to face him before pointing out the window. Jisung’s eyes widened slightly as he walked to your side to watch the snow with you. “Wow…” a small smile was carved on his pretty lips. Staring at him, you placed a small peck to his right cheek. His eyes moved to to look at you before a hint of red was beginning to form on his cheeks. You smiled slightly at the sight before tugging on his sleeve.

“You wanna go outside?” you waited for a reply from him. He glanced you again and smiled softly. “Why not?” right then, he pulled you out of the living room and to the outside. You looked up a the sky and grinned happily as you tried catching snowflakes with your bare hands. “Wait. Don’t move. Let me picture this.” Jisung pulled out his phone from his right pocket before taking a few pictures of you. You probably spent about half an hour playing outside in the snow before deciding to stop seeing as you would probably freeze to death if you stayed out any longer. You walked back into the house with a cheery feeling blossoming in you. “Go take a shower. I’ll make dinner.” you boyfriend rubbed your back comfortingly. “Really? Thank you, Ji. Just make sure not to burn the kitchen down.” the both of you laughed after he assured you that no flames will be seen tonight.

You chose to wear a simple sweater paired with some black tights. Putting on some light makeup, you finished off your look with a nude coloured lipstick and a layer of lip gloss. After spraying on your favourite perfume, you stepped out of the room and waited for Jisung to finish showering in the living room. He entered the shower a while after you did so you’re assuming that his dinner is done. About ten minutes later, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs along with a soft singing of EXO-K’s ‘First Snow’. “Hey.” Jisung tapped your shoulder from behind as he flashed his signature gummy smile which you blushed slightly at.

“Let’s eat.” he walked over to your side of the sofa before pulling you towards the dining room. You stared at the food served in utter shock. There were roasted chicken, baked Mac N Cheese, mashed potatoes and mushroom soup. All party-sized. “Woah, Jisung… I appreciate you making dinner for us but isn’t this a little too much for just two people?” you questioned him. “Who said we’re going to be the only ones?” just then, a loud “Surprise!” was heard from behind you as a few of your friends walked out. “What the fuck—” you grinned happily at them as you yelled out, “I missed you guys!” before hugging the one closest to you, which just so happens to be Chenle.

“Hey, hey, hey, no touching please.” Jisung pulled you and Chenle away from each other before gesturing for all of them to take a seat. The lot of you spent most of your time talking rather than eating and before you know it, it’s already half past nine. As you were chatting with the guys, an unexpected question makes both you and Jisung choke on your food. “When are you guys getting married?” Mark asked before shoving a spoonful of Mac N Cheese into his mouth. After you’ve calmed yourself down, you patted Jisung’s back to soothe his coughing. “Hyung… We’re still young…” Jisung cleared his throat. “I mean you never know. Anything can happen.” Mark shrugged before the whole room erupted into a fit of laughter.

Out of the blue, Jeno stood up from his seat and smiled lightly. “I have an announcement to make.” he said. Everyone took glances at each other before their gaze drifted back to Jeno. “I have a girlfriend.” Gasps were heard all around the room since Jeno hadn’t dated anyone for the past two years. “Damn, I really thought you lost your game.” Haechan teased. “Shut the fuck up, Donghyuck.” Jaemin glared at the mentioned boy after receiving an annoying smirk from him. “Oh my God! How long have you been dating her?” you spoke with excitement.

“For about a month now.”

“And you just told us now?!”

“What’s her name?” Renjun asked as he sipped on his juice. “Kwon Sera. We met at the clinic I work at.” he said proudly. “Do you have a picture of her?” Chenle looked just as excited as everyone in the room. “Yeah, I do actually. Here’s a picture of us together.” he then pulled out his phone from his back pocket and began scrolling through his photos before finally picking one to show. “Dang, she’s pretty.” complimented Haechan. “Hey. She’s Jeno’s.” you said sternly. “I know, I know. Chill woman.” Haechan replied. After a few rounds of questions and answers, you guys were settled in a circle in the living room.

A game of Never Have I Ever was played.

“Never have I ever… peed and it got all over the place.” All of the boys closed a finger and you cringed visibly. “Disgusting.” you shivered dramatically. “It’s natural!” Haechan defended himself. “Maybe for you!” you continued. “Never have I ever not shower for a whole week.” Jisung interrupted the two of you. Chenle was the only one who had his second finger closed and you all turned to look at him with disbelief. “What? I’m saving water!” Chenle shrugged at the rest of you. “Please tell me you showered before you came here.” Jaemin looked at him expectantly. “What do you think I am? Of course I showered!” Chenle rolled his eyes playfully.

“Okay, um… Never have I ever… kissed a person of the same gender.” A few of you closed a finger. Specifically Jaemin, you, and Haechan. “You have?!” Jisung yelled in shock when he noticed you have a finger closed. “I was 17, okay! It was an accident anyways.” you reassured your boyfriend. “I hope it was.” Jisung placed a firm hand on your right thigh. “Mine wasn’t.” Haechan smiled smugly. “No one’s talking to you.” almost everyone in the room snapped at him with a playful glare. “Fine! Jesus, why is everyone against me today.” he shook his head side to side. “My turn! Never have I ever… wished for someone’s downfall.” Chenle smiled happily. Yours, Haechan’s, and Renjun’s finger were closed. “I know y’all aren’t that nice.” Renjun glared at the rest. “Too bad, we are.” Jaemin smiled innocently. “Mark, you’re quiet. Why don’t you give it a go.” Jeno nudged his friend’s shoulder. “Um… Never have I ever, got rejected.” Jaemin unfortunately, had his finger closed.

You guys looked at him in shock. Why would anyone reject someone as charming as Jaemin? “Before you ask, yes, I’ve been rejected before. It was in 10th grade. I had a crush on this girl that was in the class next to mine. We’ve never really spoken to each other before but I finally decided to confess to her. That’s when she laughed in my face and told me how much of a joke I was thinking that someone so out of my league would accept me before taking off. It hurt. Bad. But i’m over it.” Jaemin placed an upside-down smile on his face as his gaze drifted to you. “Damn it, Mark why you gotta ask something like that.” it was faintly heard but you were sure it came from Jeno. “Jaemin… I’m so sorry.” you bit your lower lip gently as the feeling of guilt began rising in you.

“Don’t be. I-It wasn’t your fault…” he fiddled with his finger nervously. “Okay um why don’t we continue the game. I don’t want this to ruin the mood.” Jaemin added. “Right. Who wants to go next?” Mark said. A few minutes passed and it was time for the boys to go home. “Thank you for tonight. We had loads of fun. We’ll see you on Christmas?” Jeno represented the boys to speak. “Thank you for coming too. Definitely looking forward to Christmas. Jisung grinned at them as he slid an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

“Happy holidays, lovebirds.”

You sat down at the edge of the bed before laying your back on it. Sighing, you heard the door to your room being opened and closed. “God, I’m so tired. Jisung joined you on the bed by laying down next to you. “So am I.” you twisted your head slightly to look at the boy beside you just to see him with his eyes closed and arms spread out. The edge of your lips curved into a small smile at the sight before you went over to him and hugged him by the waist. His body twitched slightly in shock but calmed down afterwards when he realised it was just you.

“You’re freezing.” Jisung wrapped his arms around your body as he hugged you tight. “Jisung…” you said into his chest before you felt him him against you. “I miss spending time with you like this. Just the two of us.” you can hear a soft laugh coming from the man above you. “Have I not spent enough time with you sweetheart?” Jisung caressed the top of your head slowly. “It’s not that… It’s just that we’ve been really busy lately and when we do spend time together, it’s mostly spent with friends or family. It’s like we don’t have time for each other anymore.” you confessed. It’s not like you weren’t telling the truth or anything.

There was a sigh heard from Jisung and you knew he couldn’t help but agree. “I’m trying, sweetheart. I really am. And I’m sorry you feel that way.” his voice was a hushed whisper but it was still loud enough for your ears. “But I think I know a way I can make it up to you.” you lifted your head to meet his eyes before furrowing your brows at his statement. “What do you mean?” A subtle smirk crawled its way up Jisung’s face and only then you knew what he meant by ‘making up to you’ “Sung!” you hit his shoulder lightly and laughed along with him. “What? What were you thinking?” he teased. “Ugh, shut up.” you rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“But I mean like… Don’t you want to? his gaze changed and in a blink of an eye, he was already on top of you. “Jisung…” you said nervously. “Please?” he asked with a soft gaze. Biting your lower lip softly, you nodded slowly before pulling him into a loving kiss. His right hand moved under your sweater as the other roamed your upper body. Without you noticing, he had unclasped your bra and began massaging your breasts. “Fuck.” you pulled away from the kiss for air before staring into his eyes. Pulling his top over his head, you grazed his bare chest gently and placed wet kisses to his toned abs. “Now that’s just unfair, innit?” Jisung reached the hem of your sweater before taking it off of you as you giggled quietly. Subconsciously, your hand that was on his body reached the zipper of his pants.

“Want me to take it off?” you said teasingly as you played with the hem of his boxers. “Please do.” Jisung physically shivered when you traced the print of his dick on his red boxers. “And why should I listen to you?” you looked up to meet his eyes innocently and the way his brown hair hung from his face has you squirming under him. “‘Cause if you don’t I’m gonna blow your brains off.” his eyes opened and he’d almost intimidate you if it wasn’t for the fact that this was Jisung you’re talking about. “Are you now? You’re a big boy now aren’t you?” you smiled softly with a pat of his head. You were suspicious of why he wasn’t replying or biting back but that’s when you noticed him grinding his crotch on the bed.

The sight was hot, to be completely honest. But you wouldn’t admit that to him so you simply pinched his chin and made him look at you in the eye. “You think I wouldn’t notice you whoring in front of me?” you raised a brow in anticipation. “Don’t care.” he continued his movements once again and that’s when you lost it. Taking advantage of his daze, you quickly flipped him over so you were on top. “Hey— What the fuck??” Jisung tried to get a hold of you but his attempts only went so far before he had his arms pinned above his head. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” he sounded as if he was warning you but you couldn’t care less.

“Oh, but I do.” not wanting to hear any more of his whines and complaints, you sealed your lips with his in a heated kiss. You could feel his tongue prodding at your sealed lips but you aren’t the one to give in without a fight. Parting your lips slightly, you allowed his tongue to barely fit in you before you sucked on the pink muscle desperately. Though it wasn’t visible to the human eye, you were sure he was loving every single second of it. He tried to wiggle his tongue out of you but you were sucking on it so hard that he couldn’t help but comply. Unconsciously, your hands that were holding him up began loosening and without you noticing, he’s already got his hands wrapped around waist firmly.

You moaned into the kiss as you pressed your hips closer to his crotch to gain some sort of friction between your bodies. Jisung seemed to notice this when he began rocking your hips on his as strings of curses and groans left his mouth. “Shit I-I’m not gonna f-fucking cum like this.” he released the kiss with a string of saliva connecting the both of you as his eyes shut and yours trailed to where your bodies were meeting. “Fuck I need to taste you.” Jisung’s eyes snapped open before he frantically tried to take off your tights which didn’t seem to come off. Giggling slightly, you ran a hand through his hair and got off him slowly. “It’s not the easiest to take off.” you shimmied out of the clothing and got back on the bed without breaking eye contact.

Wanting to tease him a little more, you sat down on his upper thigh right next to his obvious bulge (on his boxers) with your bare pussy before starting to rock your hips at a slow pace. “Mmh Y/n… Y/n, please… Please let me—” you rolled your eyes and took a finger to his lips to shut up. “You do what I say.” your tone was warning and adamant and he seemed to give up but you knew it was all pretend. He was gonna pounce on you sooner or later. But for now, you just wanna enjoy being the one in control. It’s not a very common occurrence you know. Moving your hips faster, you leaned your body towards Jisung a little more and held his shoulders for support. “Fuck, Sung…” you whimpered out. It didn’t take long for you to finally cum on him, leaving stains of white on his favourite pair of underwear.

“You should’ve did that in my mouth.” said Jisung as he gaped at the sight in front of him. “Stop it or I actually might.” you looked at him with lustful eyes and he seemed to read your mind. “Try me.” you muttered a small ‘fuck you’ to him before aligning your aching pussy to his awaiting lips. “Let’s see if you can take me.” you bit your lower lip softly. “Oh please, like it’s my first time.” he smirked before placing a quick peck on your lips (those lips) and devouring you whole. His lips sucked on your clit as he teased his fingers around your hole. Throwing your head back, you took your right hand and gripped his hair as hard as you could when you felt him enter two fingers into you. “Yeah, right there.” you were trying your absolute hardest to keep your noises in but unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. In fact, you saw that as an advantage to piss Jisung off a little more.

“Fuck— Is that the best you c-can do? I can do that on my o-own.” you rolled your eyes in annoyance and after the little push you gave him, you heard him scoff under you before working both his mouth and fingers to the absolute fullest. “Fucking hell, Jisung!” once again, you came into his mouth without a warning but he didn’t seem to be stopping his movements. “Sung, s-stop…” you attempted to push him away but he wouldn’t budge. Not even a little bit. His tongue licked a long stripe across your swollen pussy and you felt like you were gonna pass out at that moment. Who knew Jisung could be this cruel? Right as you were at the brink on your second orgasm, your boyfriend seemed to notice it because he immediately lets go of your heat with a delicious ‘pop!’

He didn’t seem—or just pretended not—to notice the glare you gave him before stripping off his last item of clothing and having you under him. “I think it’s my turn to have some fun.” Jisung gave a small peck to your lips as he stroked his dick to warm him up with his saliva. Teasing your clit with the tip of his cock, he smirked when a whine escaped your throat, “Just fuck me already.” you threw your head back in slight annoyance after having to wait for what feels like a decade. “As you wish.” gripping your shoulder for support, Jisung slowly slid himself into you halfway with a shaky moan. “Fuck…” he bit his lip in frustration as he pulled out all the way (to which you moaned incredibly loud at) before fucking back into you, this time with more confidence.

Sighing desperately, Jisung slowly started to move in and out of you easily. Your chest heaved up and down with the feeling of your boyfriend’s cock fitting inside you so well. When the base of his length kissed your entrance, you unintentionally clenched hardly against him. “Shit— Don’t do that.” he said warningly with a glare sent to you. “Do what? This?” you squeezed him once again and you could feel him twitch inside of you. He had his eyes shut and to torture him a little more, you moved your hips on his length with teasing glint in your eyes. His breathing was beginning to get heavier and unsteady and you couldn’t help but let out a desperate moan at the sight.

At that. Jisung snapped his eyes opened and leaned forward so his lips could meet your ear and whisper, “You’re getting on my nerves.” before ruthlessly rutting his hips into you without a care for the world. He lifted his head to meet your eyes and you saw the way his sweat dripped from his forehead to your chest and rolled down to where he was completely ruining you. You let out a dragged moan at the euphoric feeling and you felt like you could cum anytime soon. Right then, Jisung pulled out of you abruptly before you looked at him with furrowed brows. “Excuse me, what the actual fuck?” you said with your voice slightly raised.

“I wanna see something.” he took his right hand and used it to massage your wet heat with his pre-cum before plunging his middle and ring finger into you. His hand movements were just as merciless as his thrusts from earlier and this time you felt something different bubbling inside you. It’s a mixture of wanting to pee and wanting to orgasm. You screamed loudly when his fingers abused that spot inside you and right then, hot liquid started flowing out of you. Did you just pee? Or is it something else? “I needed this.” you heard Jisung mutter under his breath and just a few moments later after he pulled his fingers away from you in a split second, you felt like you just gave birth. You’d squirted all over your boyfriend, yourself, and the sheets and you couldn’t have felt more embarrassed than this. “That was a good one, baby.”

He didn’t give you time to gather yourself before another question left his mouth, “Wanna try another one?” he raised his eyebrows. “Hell no.” you shook your head side to side with droopy eyes. “Awh, you can’t get tired already. I haven’t even had my fun yet.” he pouted mockingly. “Can you just let me… catch my breath for a second?” you said between heavy breaths. “Not a chance.” and there it was again. The feeling of being stuffed to the brim as he thrusted into you with the speed of 10 thrusts/s. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you could feel your fourth orgasm reaching its peak. A string of curses and groans left both of your throats and within a few seconds you both came at the exact same time with a long moan.

Laying down next to you, Jisung wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed the top of your head. “We should do this more often.” he rubbed circles onto your backside to which you clenched against him as a reply. “You— You never really learn your—” before he could finish whatever he was trying to say, you quickly lifted your head and pecked him on to the cheek with a smile. “Merry Christmas, Jisung.” you hugged him tightly. “It’s still earl—” once again you clenched against him tighter than before to shut him up. “M-Merry Christmas, Y/n.”

jisung I swear—

#once a year by dongfuck #nct imagines #nct dream #park jisung hard hours #park jisung imagines #park jisung smut #jisung smut #nct smut #nct hard hours #park jisung #jisung

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staar5384 · 11 months

Text

When All He Had Was You

kaveh x gn!reader; angst, hurt/no comfort, brief mentions of sex

an~ it’s more of a one sided x reader, but i still called it an x reader to make it easier for myself. my b

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaveh had lost just about everything in his life; his parents, the original Palace of Alcazarzaray, his home, everything. Yet there was always one constant in his life; you.

You had found Kaveh sobbing by the decayed wreckage of his magnum opus.

Having lived nearby, and having to deal with the aftermath of the Withering’s devastating affects, you found the blond curled up at what used to be the front steps of his most prized creation.

You approached him, and thought at first he was incredibly embarrassed to be seen as such a mess, you offered him such comfort. You soothed him with reassurances, held him in your arms as he just let his sorrows wash away in the flood of tears pouring from his eyes.

After that day, you two became inseparable. You did everything. You supported him through his stupid decision to put himself in debt to rebuild the Palace of Alcazarzaray. Why? Because he was your best friend, and the joy that crossed his face after seeing the gorgeous mansion in all its glory was all you needed.

Of course, with all the debt, and having no home, he needed to move. You didn’t live close enough to the Akademiya, which meant he had to accept the offer given to him by an old friend, Alhaitham.

The first few months of him living there you weren’t allowed over. You never understood why, but you assumed it had to do with his new roommate. Whenever Alhaitham was brought up, all Kaveh did was complain. He complained about his bad attitude, his lack of letting him inside his own house when the poor boy left his keys at home, the unnecessary and cruel comments he made against Kaveh.

When the blond finally did allow you over, you got to meet Alhathiam and it was almost an instant connection. Even though Kaveh seemed to hate the guy, you found yourself enthralled by him, and him with you.

When Kaveh wasn’t around, you’d sneak over to visit Alhaitham privately, though his cold and reserved demeanor never broke. It was originally disheartening until the day he confessed his feelings for you in his own special way.

“Why was Kaveh the one who stumbled across you?” Alhaitham grumbled one evening. You were both curled up on the couch while Alhaitham read and you drew.

“I’m sorry?” You asked him in confusion.

“I mean, why didn’t I find you first? I would have made you mine already,” He flipped to the next page in his book. He spoke so nonchalantly for someone making such bold claims.

Your heart missed a beat as he spoke. You reached a hand up to clutch your heart, “You mean that?”

He nodded, still not looking up from the piece of literature in front of him.

“So what’s stopping me from being yours?” You asked.

“Nothing I suppose.”

“So then I’m yours.”

Alhaitham nodded, moving his arm from his side to wrap around you, “I like the sound of them,” Finally, he placed the book down on the coffee table. He leaned forward, kissing you softly.

You melted, the kiss softer and more gentle than you imagined. You kissed him back, and things quickly escalated from there.

That night you had fucked on that couch, and that night you became an official couple. However, you decided to keep it a secret from Kaveh, as to not upset him.

More months went by where you two secretly met, but the secret was harder and harder to keep. You spent less time with Kaveh, disappearing for days at a time, then returning with whatever lame excuse you could come up with.

It wasn’t until one day Kaveh came home early from work. He was ready to sleep, push aside his worries and rest his fried brain. Then he heard your voice from the kitchen.

At first he thought the exhaustion was driving him crazy, but then your laughter rang through the rest of the house and he instantly recognized it.

Quietly, the blond approached the kitchen. Why hadn’t you told him you’d be here?

When he turned the corner, he found you tucked safely in Alhaitham’s arms as you two whispered and giggled amongst yourselves.

“What the fuck?” Kaveh said in disbelief.

It was almost like he was in some sick and twisted nightmare. You, his best friend, his confidant, the person he loved was cradled in the arms of his shit ass roommate.

You were startled by the voice, immediately pushing yourself away from Alhaitham, “K-Kaveh..!”

“What is going on here?”

“W-We were just…”

“We were trying to enjoy a moment alone,” Alhaitham crossed his arms. “But of course the noisy roommate returned.”

Kaveh felt his heart pounding in his chest, the throbbing almost too painful for him to handle. Tears formed in his amber eyes, “Why?” His voice cracked.

“Kaveh, listen I-” You tried to speak, but the blond cut you off.

“Out of everyone, my roommate!? The person who has done nothing, but berate me!”

“I know it looks bad, but Kaveh I never meant to hurt you!” All the guilt that had been festering these few months was bubbling in your stomach, making you nauseous as bile rised in your throat.

“The one thing I had was you. You were my friend, my companion. Alhaitham has everything! The money, the looks, the friends, the career. He has everything I don’t!” He was crying, hot tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. “But I had you,” His voice was nothing more than a whisper.

You were stunned. Kaveh had never confessed this insecurity of his to you. You never realized he was jealous of what Alhaitham had; and now the man had you.

Kaveh turned and left without another word to you. He ignored your pleads and calls for him to come back, to let you explain yourself. Bullshit. It was all bullshit.

He made sure to grab his house key as his slipped out the front door, and went down to the tavern to hopefully drink himself dead.

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deathblacksmoke · 7 months

Text

take me as you please

pairing: noah sebastian x nick ruffilo

cw: oral sex, cum swallowing, lovey dovey boys, so much kissing (these birds are in love), fluffy n smutty

author’s note: follow up to aphid attraction but can be read on its own. this took me long enough to write that i’m sure it will haunt me. my brain’s gone rotten.

**************************************************************

“Are we going to talk about it?” Noah asks, the silence between him and Nick having dragged on for too long.

They’re on the tour bus, the others squeezing in naps before tonight’s show, so he figures that now is as good a time as he’ll ever find to bring it up.

At the sound of Noah’s voice, Nick doesn’t even look up from his phone. “Talk about what?”

It’s been weeks since Nick walked in and everything should have changed. That’s what Noah had assumed, at least, that there was no coming back from a moment like that.

Yet everything has remained exactly the same, not a hint of anything different, and he knows he should be relieved. As grateful as he is to still have his best friend, Nick’s promise of a next time has been replaying in his head since that day. On a loop, haunting him. He can’t let it go.

“I’ll touch you next time.” Noah says, repeating Nick’s words back to him and watching as his eyes widen. Nick’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he settles on keeping it closed, placing his phone on the couch beside him and staring at his shoes.

“Did you forget you said that?” Noah asks, feeling suddenly cocky upon seeing Nick so shy. He could take advantage of the sudden shift, having a leg up on Nick for the first time in ages, but he decides against it and goes easy on him. Nick shakes his head and Noah grins, scoots closer to him, their thighs barely touching. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“Sure.” Nick says, but he’s fidgeting worse than Noah has ever seen, his voice soft and wavering. Without thinking too much of it, Noah grabs his hand to stop him from continuing to pick at the skin of his fingers. “Or we can forget I ever said that.”

The thing is, Noah really doesn’t want to. He’s happy to pretend it never happened if that’s what Nick needs, if it will salvage their friendship, but he can’t get it out of his head. He’s tried. He’ll pretend for Nick. He’ll let it go. Forgetting just isn’t an option he’s willing to consider.

It’s burned into his brain, the way that the mention of a next time had made his heart race. The way his grip on his cock instantly tightened, chasing that feeling. The way the thought of a next time with Nick had made his vision blur as he came over his fingers with Nick’s name on his lips.

“If that’s what you want.” Noah says. With Nick’s hand still in his, he can’t ignore how the fidgeting has completely stopped. He‘ll let himself take the credit for that but he won’t comment on it. “I‘ve been looking forward to my next time, though, if that’s okay with you.”

Nick looks a little shocked and Noah wants to feel smug, but he’s more focused on getting what he’s been wanting for all these weeks. If he’s being honest, he’s been wanting this for a whole lot longer.

“Does that surprise you?” Noah asks and Nick nods, so shy. It makes Noah want to swallow him whole. “I don’t know why. You caught me jerking off to you. You saw how hard I came when you mentioned it.”

Nick’s cheeks turn beet red and Noah needs him.

“Can I kiss you?” Nick asks suddenly, catching Noah off guard, but he’s nodding before he can think better of it, moving in to close the distance between them.

It’s not at all how he remembers their kisses being, years ago when they were young, drunk, and bored. The rushed and sloppy little nothings they shared in the back of the van, dark bars, Nick’s living room. Those were nothing like this. Now, he’s aware of everything. Nick’s lips - the irresistible softness and how he wants to kiss them forever. The slide of Nick’s tongue along Noah’s bottom lip and how easy it is to open up and let him in. How natural it feels to thread his fingers through the hair at the back of Nick’s head and tug a little. The soft sound Nick makes into his mouth. The way he would kill to hear it again.

He swears he can hear Nick’s heartbeat. He can feel it. He swears his own will beat out of his chest.

It’s nothing like the way it used to be.

“Can I touch you?” Noah breathes into Nick’s mouth. Nick doesn’t answer with his words, but a hand landing high on Noah’s thigh, and it’s enough to make him gasp and squirm closer, but not enough to calm away his bubbling nerves. “Nick, tell me I can.”

Nick takes Noah’s hand in his own, placing it high on his thigh, mirroring his own. Nick’s hands aren’t shaking anymore, growing confident. Noah’s shaking like a leaf now, ego dying, cockiness completely gone.

Nick notices, because he’s always been able to read Noah better than anyone. He takes it easy on him.

“You can touch me.” Nick says, cupping Noah’s cheek and pressing kisses along his neck. Noah’s hand moves higher, to where Nick is growing harder in his jeans. Noah grins when Nick gasps. Their eyes meet. “Of course you can, Noah. I’ve been waiting.”

With the permission finally given, Noah finds his hesitation gone. It’s only moments before he has Nick laid out on his back and he’s covering his body with his own, kissing him until they’re both breathless.

Noah can’t remember a time before he first started dreaming of this, slotting himself between Nick’s legs, grinding against him slow and filthy, breathing into his open mouth and tasting his breath. He can hardly believe he gets to have it. He can only hope he’ll get to have it again.

He’s taken out of his thoughts when Nick’s hand moves from its place in Noah’s hair, moving between their bodies to reach down the front of Noah’s sweats, palming him. Nick’s smile is wicked when Noah groans and he wants to kiss it off his pretty face, but he’s too distracted to do fucking anything. It feels too good. He’s been waiting for this for too long.

“Shit, Nick.” Noah gasps, resting his forehead against Nick’s shoulder to try and catch his breath. He feels so much. Nick’s hand is sliding into his underwear to grip his cock but he feels him everywhere.

“Come on,” Nick says, his other hand moving to the back of Noah’s head, fingers threading through his hair as his hand moves over his cock. He tugs, trying to lift Noah’s head but Noah fights it. He can’t stomach meeting his eyes right now, not when he’s a mess like this. “Come on, Noah. Look at me, please.”

When Noah lifts his head to look at him, he wants to be embarrassed by how wrecked he knows he looks, but he can’t when Nick is cupping his cheek and smiling, gaze soft and comforting. Grounding in a way that only Nick can be.

“Is this what you wanted?” Nick asks, grip tightening, and Noah is nodding, because of course it is. “Yeah, me too.”

Noah groans, closes his eyes. The admission overwhelms him, although he supposes he already knew, with the way Nick is touching him. He’s so surrounded. He didn’t know it could feel like this. He was waiting for Nick this whole time.

He’s nipping at Nick’s neck when he slides his hand between them, popping open the button of Nick’s jeans and reaching in to take him in his hand, too. The angle is uncomfortable, cramped, but he can tell he got the grip right when Nick gasps, rhythm faltering for a moment.

“Fuck,” Nick groans, breath warm in Noah’s mouth when their lips meet, just barely, more resting over each other than kissing. Nick gets his rhythm back quickly. Noah finds his determination to get Nick there first, tightening his grip and speeding up, until Nick is speaking again. “That’s it. That’s good, baby.”

The pet name alone would be enough to send him over the edge, with or without Nick’s hand moving over him expertly and perfect. Noah is spilling over Nick’s hand with a desperate gasp before he has the chance to realize he’s doing it.

He buries his face in Nick’s neck to catch his breath and calm down, placing kisses there. Nick’s breath is still labored when he removes his hand, wipes the cum on his jeans, which he would find gross with anyone else but endearing with Nick.

Noah’s own hand has stilled and Nick immediately tries readjusting when Noah takes his hand out.

“No, wait,” Noah says, placing a hand over Nick’s to stop him. He’s scooting down on the sofa, even more cramped than before, face to face with Nick’s cock. “Let me, please.”

He knows they don’t have much longer to be alone together. He’s not sure how much time has passed since they started, but he swears he heard Jolly moving around in his bunk. He would rather have the chance to tell them, instead of them finding out by getting an eye full, but he can’t let the day end without getting Nick in his mouth.

Now that he knows he’s allowed it, he wants it now.

He’s surprised by how much he likes it, immediately, on the first slide in. Maybe it’s just because it’s Nick, but Noah thinks he tastes like absolute heaven.

He doesn’t have any tricks, just what he knows he likes. He may be inexperienced in this realm, but pulls out all the stops he knows, anyway, cupping Nick’s balls in one hand, working what his mouth can’t reach with the other, sucking on the head, pointed tongue dipping in.

He knows he’s doing a good job when Nick gasps, tightens the grip he has on Noah’s hair.

“Fuck, Noah, how did you get so good at this?”

From thinking about you, he thinks but doesn’t say, just moans around Nick’s cock and giggles when the grip Nick has in his hair tightens even more.

He can tell he’s close. From the shaking of his thighs, the groans getting more and more frequent and harder to keep quiet. He would pray Jolly and Folio don’t hear but right now, he couldn’t care less. Right now all he cares about is Nick’s hand tightening in his hair, and the tiny little moans of his name.

“Noah,” Nick says, cupping his cheek, so gentle for the position they’re in and he basks in it. “Noah, I’m gonna cum.”

That’s all he needs to hear before he’s taking in as much as he can, eyes brimming with tears but it’s worth it for the sounds Nick is making, thrusting shallowly into Noah’s mouth before stilling, cum spilling down his throat.

He swallows every drop. He knows Nick would like it and is proven right when he looks up at him, eyes as blown as he’s ever seen.

He’s tucking Nick back into his pants and crawling up his body. Nick doesn’t hesitate before cupping the back of his head, bringing their lips together, licking into his mouth.

“You did so good, baby.” Nick says and Noah glows.

He wants to talk about it. They will talk about it.

They don’t have the opportunity before they hear the sound of a curtain sliding open.

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #bad omens rpf #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian rpf #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nick ruffilo fic #nick ruffilo rpf #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo fic #nicholas ruffilo rpf #noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo #noah sebastian x nick ruffilo #deathblacksmoke works

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writeandsurvive · 6 months

Text

Author's note: I liked this idea at first and I still do, but I'm not I did a good job at writing it. Sorry if it's not great.

Summary: You always respected rule 12, until you couldn't anymore

Warnings: angst and comfort, 'normal' ncis stuff, mostly based on ep 20x14 'old wounds', ex/booty call, jealousy, Alden being a dick to the team, happy!Gibbs in Alaska

Damaged Goods ~ Alden Parker

You've always respected Gibbs' rules, they actually became a code for you to live by. And Rule 12 - never date a coworker - was in your top 3, because you saw how bad it could turn. You saw Gibbs and Jenny having this strange connection, Tony and Ziva invading each other's lives but never being able to be together until very recently (let's be honest, it can only work because they left the agency), and lately Nick and Ellie. Lots of struggles and heartbreak. The only exception being your friends from LA, Kensi and Deeks. Every rule needs its exception, and since they had this spot, you knew it wouldn't work for you.

And surprisingly, you did pretty well all those years. Never dated someone from the office, nor even a federal agent. You never even had a crush on someone from NCIS.

But that was before.

Before him.

Alden Parker.

At first, you told yourself it was just some kind of attraction because let's be honest, this man is incredibly gorgeous. Knowing you'd never act on it - and Alden didn't seem to feel the same anyways - you decided to call your booty call a little more often; someone you actually dated a while back, with whom it didn't really work but the sex was amazing. You're a human with needs after all.

The team knew Joel, except for the two new additions, Alden and Jess. So when J dropped you off at work after a night at his place and kissed you goodbye under Alden's eyes, he immediately assumed it was your boyfriend, which you didn't see the point of denying.

Seeing Joel more regularly worked for a while, until it didn't. Spending more and more time with Alden, discovering about him and all those things he loves, seeing him take care of his plants like a dad, bringing pastries almost everyday, showing love and support to the team,... You weren't just attracted to him, you were developing feelings for him.

When a case involved his ex-wife Vivian, you realized how bad you had it. You felt jealous about how he still cared for her, thinking he may still be in love with this woman. And you were just envious of Vivian for being married to this man for ten years. How could she let him go, you'll never understand.

Despite the way you felt towards her, you offered support to Alden when she got shot. Showing up at the hospital with food as she was still in surgery, you told him he could count on you if he needed anything. It took you by surprise when he reached for a hug as a thank you, you didn't have time to appreciate it, his body against yours, his arms around you, his smell right up in your nose. It was all over too soon.

For weeks after this event, he never talked about Vivian again, so you convinced yourself she got back to her life and nothing was going on between them. You were relieved and happy.

Meanwhile, you kept seeing Joel, and he asked you to be his date at a family wedding. You had no reasons to refuse. But working for NCIS being what it is, you had to change and prepare yourself at the office. Jess and Kasie helped you with hair and make up, and allowed you to leave only when they were satisfied with their work. Walking back to the bullpen, you immediately spotted Joel talking with the boys. He looked very handsome in his fancy suit, but your eyes quickly fell on Alden who was already staring at you. You shyly smiled but he turned his face. When you finally reached them, Nick whistled at you. "Looking hot, mama!" You giggled and thanked him.

"Wouldn't say it that way, but Torres is right!" Tim agreed.

"Why thank you very much, Timmy."

You looked back at Alden's desk but it was empty. He had disappeared. Shaking off the deception - you'd have loved to know what he thought - you focused on Joel, who grabbed your hand and made you spin. "You're gonna outstage the bride." He then gently kissed your lips and that was when you saw Alden again from the corner of your eyes, upstairs, near the MTAC entrance. Fucking Houdini. His face was unreadable.

When you came back to the office on Monday, things with Alden had changed. He got distant with you, teaming you up with everyone but him, not getting interested in your free time anymore, and barely answering when you got interested in him and his life.

You couldn't help but get hurt at his behavior. And your defense mechanism was to hurt back, so you ignored him even more. If you told him three sentences a day, it was a miracle and it was strictly about work. Moreover, you were back to calling him 'Parker' or 'Sir', after switching to 'Alden' months prior. Maybe you were being petty, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

What hurt the most was when Parker invited the team for game night at his place, and you only heard about it by Kasie. "What do you mean you're not invited?"

"I mean I didn't get an invite, a question, a text, a call, or a damn pigeon."

"I'm sure he counted you in anyways. We're a small group, he knew it'd reach you."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not going."

Somehow, by the end of that day, Alden stopped you in the hallways. "Hey, are you coming tonight or not?"

You stared at him for a second before laughing sarcastically, "Kasie scares you that much?"

"Look, I just assumed you'd spend the night with Jonas--"

"Joel." You corrected, arms crossed over your chest.

"Joel, right. But anyways, I didn't think you'd want to come, so--"

"You assumed wrong, Parker. Very wrong. But I don't want your pity invite, so I'll not be there." You started to walk away from him but he was quick to grab your arm and make you face him again.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me. I let my --" he sighed. "I shouldn't have assumed. And I'd really like it if you would come to game night at my place."

Alden really looked apologetic and sincere. All you wanted to do was say yes after asking him why he had been acting like this with you. No, the complete truth was that all you wanted was to close the gap and kiss the life out of his man. You wanted his hands and mouth on you, his cock inside you, his noises in your ear.

You never felt this way before, and it scared the shit out of you.

"Too late, I made plans with Jonas." This time he let you leave.

It was a big fat lie though. You spent the night alone in your apartment, drinking, and feeling sorry for yourself. And before you knew it, you were booking a plane ticket to Alaska for the following weekend. You didn't tell anyone you were going to visit Gibbs. All they knew was that you requested your Friday and Monday off to leave town. Of course, everybody assumed it meant a little getaway with Joel.

It felt amazing to see Gibbs after months, and you were so glad to see how well and peaceful he looked. He showed you his new place, took you around this little town he called home - it didn't take long -, he took you on a boat ride, and fishing. Photography being one of your hobbies, you spent lots of time snapping anything that caught your eye. At night, you'd eat his infamous steak, and have a drink on his porch, facing the lake and mountains. "So, you gonna tell me why you're here?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetheart, but I'm no idiot. Talk."

You told him everything and much to your surprise, Gibbs laughed once you were done. "Laughing at my misery? Alaska makes you mean, Leroy."

"I'm laughing because you're the idiot."

"Wow, thanks?"

"Parker has a thing for you. It's obvious. He's ignoring you cause he's jealous of Joel. Who, by the way, is still desperately in love with you." Gibbs laughed more at the face you made. Pure confusion, you looked like you were trying to figure out string theory. "Here, have one more." He poured you another glass of bourbon, and watched you drink it in one swallow.

"Okay first things between me and Joel are pretty clear --"

"Maybe for you. Honey, all you have to do is snap your fingers and he's there, despite breaking up with you, because--and I quote 'this job doesn't leave you much time for us'"

You sighed and went for the bottle but Gibbs grabbed it first. "Not yet." He said, putting it by his feet.

"Now, about Parker. He's friends with Tobias you know, and Tobias calls me often."

"Okay?"

"Parker asked Tobias about you, soon after he joined the team."

"What kind of things did he ask?"

"Things you like outside the office, your backstory, if you were in a relationship..."

"I don't believe you."

"Call Fornell, and you'll see."

"I check on Toby every week, we try to see each other whenever I can and he never said anything about that."

"Because he knows."

"Knows what?"

"Alden could be your Shannon, your Diane, sweetheart."

You tried to enjoy the rest of your trip, but you couldn't. Everything Gibbs told you was replaying in your mind and you tried to remember whatever you could, any interaction with Alden that wasn't work related. Were Gibbs and Fornell reading too much into this or were you completely blind? As an investigator, this made you question your abilities. If he really had a thing for you, how could you not notice? Or was he a really good actor?

You thought about Joel too, and maybe a part of you knew that but selfishly, you never questioned it too much. It was nice to have someone to call whenever you needed, whether it was for sexual relief or just have someone there to hold your hand, which he always did.

On the plane back home, you decided to have a very thorough and honest conversation with Joel. You didn't want to lose him as you really care about the man, but it was for the best.

But you came back to a weird vibe at work. As you got into the office on Tuesday morning, everyone was already here except Alden - admittedly you felt relieved as it gave you more time to prepare yourself to see again - and the team got you up to speed. "We had a case yesterday, a murder that looks like drugs related and Parker stormed off. He's been MIA since." Jess informed you.

"I went to his house last night but he wasn't there. Called, texted and nothing."

"That's not very Parker like," you conceded, puzzled by what they were telling you.

They gave you more details about the case, and theories they had thus far - wasn't much - and Alden finally walked in. "That's a W. For Wills, Clayton Wills." He quickly took his coat off and threw it in his chair. You sat back at your desk, and started to do research on this Clayton guy. Nick asked about pastries and Alden immediately lost it on him.

"Do I have to do everything around here while you just beg for pastries and sit on your ass at your damn desk?!" He angrily shouted, standing face to face with Nick. Who was this guy?

"Agent Parker!" You all heard from upstairs, where Leon Vance was standing. Alden sighed and walked to the director.

Everyone agreed that something was very wrong.

During the day, the team made progress on the case, but Alden wasn't calming down. He kept snapping about everyone, making it sound like the team was just a bunch of useless investigators. He wasn't with you though, as he was utterly ignoring you. You honestly felt invisible. If you said something, Alden would answer to someone else, like it wasn't you who talked.

This was a side of him you never saw before and you didn't like it very much. By the end of the day, you were all in the evidence garage, when a man in a wheelchair arrived, asking for Alden. "You're Jeremy Brighton?" Tim asked him with a smile. "My wife and I love your book and your podcast! - Tim McGee," he extended his hand.

You all proceeded to introduce yourselves, but when it got to you, Jeremy already knew your name. No time to ask for some explanation as Alden walked out of the elevator and a moment later, you knew why this case was personal to him; Wills' case was the one that got Jeremy in a wheelchair. It explained a lot, but it didn't minimize Alden's behavior with the team. Especially since he kept snapping, until Vance actually benched him on Wednesday.

You never meant to eavesdrop on Alden and Jeremy's conversation in Autopsy, but they arrived, not knowing you were the supply closet. The door was slightly opened, you could hear everything they were saying and it was obviously too late to let them know you were there.

"It was my bullet that hit your spin, Jer! And that guilt is eating me alive." His voice broke and you felt shivers in your entire body. You wanted to get out and hugged him forever.

They kept arguing back and forth. Jeremy telling his best friend it's not easy to live with Alden's guilt on top of everything, and Alden saying that his hobbies are just a way to fill the void. That man was broken, the guilt had been slowly killing him for years.

"Since we're spilling the beans, are we going to talk about her?" Your ears tickled.

"Not a chance." Alden was stern.

"She's as pretty as you told me, more even." You could hear Jeremy's smile. "Don't tell Josie I said that though."

Alden's small laugh was a bit covered by the body drawer being closed. "I will if you don't shut up."

"I may have made a mistake -- I guessed her name before she told me." Oh yeah, they were clearly talking about you. You smiled despite yourself.

"What the fuck? Jer! She's not stupid, she's gonna question that!"

"Well you could tell her you've been pining over her since you joined."

"I haven't --"

Jeremy laughed. "'Jer, she was so pretty today.' 'Jer, she figured out the case all of her own, she's so smart.' 'Jer, she has a boyfriend. Of course she has one, how could a woman like her stay single?' 'Jer, I can't stop thinking about her, I need a lobotomy.' Should I go on?"

"I think I need a new best friend." You heard the automatic doors opening and closing and then silence.

So... It was all true? Alden has had a thing for you for over a year? He's been pining over you? While you had a thing for him too? You wanted to smile and cry at the same time. Cry for the lost time and the pain of the past months, and also for Alden's pain and guilt. Smile because the man you loved had feelings for you. Your stomach was jumping inside of you. You had to sit for a moment to process and figure out what you were going to do.

Obviously, having the conversation during this case wasn't an option, so the goal was to get it closed as fast as possible. Which the team did once you found out evidence against Wills. But of course, Alden was sent home by Vance instead of joining on the op to catch him.

However, Alden refused to let it go. After calling Tim to 'check', he went rogue; left Jeremy in his apartment, grabbed his gun and went to get Wills himself.

Seeing Alden holding Wills at gun point, his pretty face bleeding, and the pain and the guilt written all over his face, was your breaking point. You put your gun away, and slowly walked over to him, not caring about the team being there. You stared at his face, saw the tears in his eyes. But he wouldn't look at you, he kept staring at Wills who was on his knees. You let your hand run over his arm, until it reached his hands. "Let it go, Alden." You whispered, pressing on his hands so he would stop aiming at the scumbag. "Look at me." He shook his head no, but dropped his aim. The team proceeded on handcuffing Wills, but you didn't pay any attention to that. You grabbed the gun from his hands and handed it to Nick, slightly nodded at him. A silent understanding that they could go.

It was just you and Alden, in that dark forest. Thanks to some spotlights several feet away, you could see his face clearly as you stood in front of him. He looked down, still avoiding your eyes. You put your hands on each side of his face, softly stroked his beard for a moment before forcing him to look up. "We got him. You are okay and most importantly, Jeremy is okay. He seems to be a very happy man." At this moment, he locked eyes with him, slowly figuring out that you knew the entire truth. "It wasn't your fault."

How, he wanted to ask. It got caught up in his throat when you wrapped his arms around his neck, and held him tight. His shaky arms wrapped around your middle, and his face buried itself in your neck. "Not your fault." You repeated, playing with the small hair in the back of his head. He cried in your arms.

You drive him home with his car, holding his hand the entire ride. The music filled the silence, you didn't want to pressure him to talk. Once at his house, Jeremy was still there and immediately asked what happened. Alden just apologized, grabbed a beer and disappeared into his greenhouse. "Do you know a ride home?" You offered to his friend. "I'll come back here and stay if he lets me."

"He will, he needs you. He's--"

"I'm in love with him, Jeremy." You spurred out, not realizing the words leaving your mouth before it was too late.

Jeremy smiled. "I figured, but I'm glad to hear it. He's been self sabotaging his life and relationships since the accident, and he probably won't be easy 24/7, but please, stick with him. He's worth it."

"I've been told I'm pretty stubborn ever since I was born."

"Hopefully, you're more stubborn than he is."

"Are you done talking about me?" You heard from the greenhouse. You should've been embarrassed by the fact Alden probably heard your confession to Jeremy, but you were planning on telling him at some point, so you didn't. Plus, you were confident by the fact that he had feelings for you too.

"I'm leaving, pal. Looks like you're in good hands. I better see you at Eli's game this weekend."

With Jeremy gone, you joined Alden. He was drinking his beer while checking on his plants and flowers. "How do you know?" He asked, without looking at you.

"I heard you and Jeremy talking. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy or anything, I was there and you didn't see me--"

"I ruin everything I touch. Don't listen to Jer, you should leave before it's too late."

You knew that no words would convince him at this moment, so instead of talking, you grabbed his face and crashed your lips on his. It was the most meaningful first kiss you ever had. You tried to tell him how much you loved him with that kiss, and Alden returned with the same intensity. He held you by the back of your neck, trying to get you as close as possible to him.

You only separated when the need to breathe was too important. "Let's get this wound clean up."

As well as all of his other wounds.

#ncis #alden parker #alden parker fanfic #alden parker imagine #ncis fanfiction #ncis imagine #alden parker x reader #nick torres #gibbs #tim mcgee #jess knight

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voyeur-clairvoyant · 3 months

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hey there! I'm not sure whether this has been asked before or not, but I thought I might give it a try nonetheless.

what are the main differences between the TdM system and the RWS one, if there are any, in your opinion?

I'm looking forward to writing a blog about it, so I'm trying to gather as much information from as many people as possible. thanks beforehand!

Hi there! Thank you for asking and GOD I hope I'm late because I've been thinking non-stoping about this for the last days just to give you a complete answer. You have no idea how happy I'm to contribute with some firewood to the good ol' war between decks hashahsa.

For me, the biggest difference between both decks and schools of thought is that the RWS Tarot can BARELY be considered a tarot deck (and this is not necessarily a bad thing).

It's a "tarot" in the same way that Taco Bell's "tacos" are tacos. Technically they are and I can't say anything about it but when you compare them with authentic tacos you realize there are enormous issues in their construction, their ingredients, their history and the culture around them.

They are perfectly """edible""".

Now, I'm the first to admit it, Pamela and Arthur's deck changed not only cartomancy but the perception of the entire world around it. Pamela's exquisite artistry and innovative idea of illustrating the minor arcana made it BY FAR the most important tarot deck of all times. HONOR TO WHOM HONOR IS DUE. And as cartomants we owe respect to the deck (and its creators) for literally bringing cartomancy into modernity. It is directly responsible for the fact that we are discussing this topic today and for all the extraordinary artistic madness of hundreds and hundreds of new decks that are printed and designed.

HOWEVER. The deck has HUGE and unacceptable errors that split the modern study of tarot into two and a thousand pieces, but I have to give their case justice. Arthur Edward Waite and Pamela Colman Smith were members of the Golden Dawn and their plan was to create a tarot deck with the ritual, sacred and symbolic associations of the order.

Is it their fault that their niche deck escaped containment? Of course not. We are used to working with luck, it is our territory, so it's no surprise that the mass popularization of tarot (and this deck in particular) came with an equally destructive counterpart. I can't blame them, Geek culture (and fandom in general) has to live every day with the Horrors and Pleasures of seeing their niche content, intended for a few, be dismembered and multiplied in the hyper-globalized sphere of "normie" culture.

I'm in several tarot groups on Facebook and the question every day is: What is the best deck for beginners? And the truth is that I don't know what to answer.

I have read with both systems and right now, my little TdM is my tool par excellence. I admit that the "dry" art of the minor arcana and the deck in general is an acquired taste. There are such beautiful and impressive decks out there that I completely understand why not many decide to stick with the tarot world's equivalent of vanilla triple condom missionary sex (although this is an aesthetic issue that is being called into question with new decks).

What I don't understand is the conception that the Marseille tarot is more complicated than the RWS!

If the TdM school is characterized (or could be characterized, I curse you Jodorowsky!) by austerity and lack of expressiveness, the RWS school is characterized by paranoia and the pseudo-complexity of symbols and structures.

By "paranoia" I mean the obssesive search for hidden meanings or mystical secrets and messages. Usually where there are none.

Reading with an RWS deck for the first time is a horrible experience and we are very much to blame for scaring away beginner readers. Assuming that you have survived the countless myths that all decks carry (it must be a gift, it's satanic, don't read on Sunday) you realize that you don't know how to read it. Each of the 78 cards has a different scene and all of them are full of symbols. What do the pomegranates on the High Priestess' veil mean? What the fuck is a High Priestess? Why do some cards have names and others don't??? It is an aggressive sea of information that ends up drowning anyone.

But that is not all! Now comes the plot twist and it turns out that not only you have to learn 78 meanings (in equally confusing websites or books) but that each card has a different meaning in reverse. 156 cards in total, each with a series of extensive meanings for love, family, work, money, health, etc. And as if that weren't enough, the spreads look like this:

Where each of the positions has an extra layer of meaning. This is not a specific problem of the RWS but we have long since passed that point, we only have to manage the disaster that its globalization carried.

The big problem with RWS and its school of thought is that in the process of making a more intuitive tool, it became a creature that feeds on the paranoia of its readers. It is an excellent deck to spread on the table and read lightly: The faces and situation of the characters are clear, the art is friendly and reading is easy. A 10 of swords is an obvious image of failure and pain, the 3 of cups inspires joy and suggests party and friends. It is a tool that fuses the allegorical advantages of a classic tarot deck with the everyday fluidity of a sibyl or an oracle. It has nothing to envy an Italian Sibyl or a Kipper deck.

It is human, intuitive and beautiful.

The problem comes when we want to extract more of it. Being a ritual deck, it is impregnated from top to bottom with numerological, astrological, Hebrew, Egyptian, etc. associations of magic and occultism derived from the not very convincing knowledge of the GOLDEN DAWN. It was not intended to be a deck for common and mundane divination use.

The average casual cartomancer knows the meanings of the cards because they read them on a website (and hopefully in a book/video). Most people don't know who Pixie or Arthur Waite is and probably haven't read any of their original texts. What's worse, there's a good chance you're not a member of the Golden Dawn and you also don't know that previous decks exist. All those symbols and associations that served an original purpose become a mental burden when reading with it.

What good does it do me to know that the coins in the 10 of coins represent the Tree of Life or that the Magician transfers the energies of the High to the Low, alluding to one of the magical premises of the Tabula Smaragdina ("As above, so below") when what I want to know IS IF MY EX WOULD GET BACK TO ME???

A lot of information but useless information. And that's still the best case scenario. At worst…

The incomplete fusion of poorly understood mystical allusions, an intuitive deck loosely anchored in classical cartomancy and the whitewashed psychology of the New Age in search of alternative therapies gave birth to a monster: EVOLUTIONARY TAROT. (But that's another story. The evolutionary tarot isn't really bad in its conception, but the road to Hell is paved in good intentions ahhasha. I have already a post about it).

If the RWS school got rid of the complicated spreads, the reversed cards, the useless lists of meanings, the obsession with symbols and FOCUSED on Pixie's illustrations and read Arthur's original texts it would be easier to use its tool without losing their marbles in the process, but that is going against the current and not analyzing the existing reality.

By illustrating the minor arcana, the deck became more friendly but in exchange it lost the hierarchy of the major arcana. In the image there are 3 major and 3 minor arcana, but visually they have the same weight and therefore, the same relevance when this SHOULD NOT HAPPEN. The Sun cannot be on the same level as a 10 of Swords no matter how bloody the card is.

Another situation: Let's focus on the Wheel card. I already made a post about it that you can find on my blog, but in summary there is a HUGE difference between this arcane in the RWS and the TdM. Which is saying a lot when the TdM's Wheel is itself extremely defective.

If the RWS tarot does not respect the hierarchy of the arcana, many of them are "badly" represented, or at least incomplete without the contribution of Arthur and the Golden Dawn, it does not have a divinatory purpose and illustrates its minor arcana based on external sources such as Etteilla, numerology, astrology, etc… CAN WE CONTINUE CONSIDERING IT A TAROT?

I suspect not and this is not a bad thing. On the contrary, it has an extraordinary place as a multipurpose oracle that could be developed more freely without the pretension of wanting to be (without actually being) a tarot deck.

And yet, the Marseille tarot is the one that has the reputation of being MOST COMPLICATED!!!???

As I said before, honor to whom honor is due and therefore, dishonor to whom dishonor is deserved ahsahsa. Alejandro Jodorowsky did an enormous job to popularize the TdM deck but he missed a VERY SMALL detail like other important tarot figures such as Papus and Eliphas Levi:

The PARANOIA.

I love you friends, but if I hear someone say again that the Tarot of Marseille holds mystical secrets in its geometry, I'm gonna kill someone ahsahsa. ENOUGH, for mercy's sake! Many beginners infected with the mystical paranoia of the RWS come to the classic decks with the same perception of hermetic and conspiratorial symbology, which is fueled by the LITERAL search for easter eggs and hidden meanings popularized by the aforementioned characters. Sometimes two cups are TWO CUPS and 3 swords are THREE SWORDS. There are no secret codes involved but who seeks finds and sooner or later you will end up paying more attention to the leaves on the decorations or the color of the shoes than to the FUCKING CARD ITSELF.

This manifests, for example, in another of the major problems that both systems share:

CUPS ≠ WATER WANDS/BATONS ≠ FIRE COINS ≠ EARTH SWORDS ≠ AIR

REPEAT AFTER ME: SUITS ARE NOT ELEMENTS.

Many readers tend to automatically replace the objects in the cards with the later elemental associations. When we see 6 swords in a classic deck, we are not talking about air, MUCH LESS about the meaning that Etteilla or Arthur Waite gave to the card. 6 swords are more swords than you want your enemy to have and since they are swords and not AIR, their function is simply to cause you a lot of damage and pain. Bad omen.

THERE IS NO MYSTERY.

We can add another layer of information, helped by numerology and adjacent cards, but we must never lose sight of the SUPERIOR hierarchy of this obvious and clear message in favor of DETAILS such as the ornaments and the distribution of the swords on the card.

The biggest danger of the RWS system is being overloaded with useless information and ridiculously complicated systems. The biggest danger of the TdM system is not seeing the MESSAGE by focusing too much on absurd details.

The Marseille tarot has MANY flaws as it is a poor copy of Italian decks. Curiously, its situation is almost identical to that of the RWS. By reaching a globalized impression in Europe, the forgivable mistakes of a niche deck spread far and wide. Even so, it preserves the characteristic simplicity of classic decks: You can perfectly distinguish a major arcana from the rest and give it the place it deserves in a reading. The allegories have errors but they maintain a clear and understandable representation for the most part (I also have a post about it).

Many TdM readers do not use inverted cards and free reading on tableaus and strings are the favorite. If we ignore the symbolic paranoia of various authors, focus on the cards in front of us and their allegorical meanings, we have a VERY EASY TO READ tool. It is not as comfortable or friendly as a RWS but it is definitely more free and concrete. Less noise, less chaos. Straight to the point.

I'm not going to lie to you either, anyone who has used a TdM knows that no matter how skilled the reader is, the deck cannot be compared to a sibilla or the RWS when the topic is everyday and mundane divination. It is a dry, direct deck, but little theatrical or gossipy compared to other decks. In the same way, if we ask a sibyl complex and imaginative questions we will have the same result as if we asked the vegetable seller at the market.

Much of the debate comes down to knowing what your need is and your appropriate tool.

In conclusion:

I think the RWS system is unnecessarily complicated, which undermines its great advantage: Being able to read the deck intuitively without having to study it. I think that if it completely abandoned its desire to be a tarot and became an independent deck of illustrations, it would be an exquisite oracle.

The TdM is not the sharpest knife in the arsenal of classic decks, but it is a very easy tarot deck to learn and use if we ignore the symbolic paranoia and limiting meanings of some authors. It is (like all classic decks) a deck with the limitations of tarot, so instead of forcing it to answer all the questions, sometimes it is better to know when to use another oracle.

#divination #witchcraft #tarot #fortune telling #cartomancy #tarot cards #witchblr #tarotblr #baby witch

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omgcatboi · 1 year

Text

( someone requested I put this in its own post to reblog )

A guide of do's and don'ts for male feedees interacting with female ( or any ) feeders , incase you aren't sure

( as an autistic man, I understand how to explain this to you as I also struggle with being social ) !!

Don't:

Steer the conversation back to kink talk. If she's changing the subject, it's best to assume she isn't feeling the chat. So don't push it !! Spend a few minutes to chat like normal. You'll be surprised when you realize that these sweet feeders have a personality. You should show that you have one, too !!

Assume she owes you a response. Hey, guess what? People have lives !! Some feeder girls may be in uni / collage taking classes while also working two jobs. Or some may just have work, some may have kids, some may exist and have priorities and responsibilities !! She doesn't owe you a reply AT ALL !! Be patient and practice boundaries. You're acting co-dependant to a stranger and it's very off-putting ☹️ ( also you AREN'T ENTITLED TO KNOW WHY SHE DIDN'T REPLY!! That is no longer kink related and is asking about her personal private life. This is the internet!! For safety, she may not feel comfortable sharing that info. )

Dm her unsolicited pics, sexual dms, or fantasies! She may not be in the mood for that !! Or, she may not want to see that from you. Look, people can decide who they talk to and don't talk to. There's going to be a lot of people out there who don't wanna talk with you or don't vibe with you. It's life ! There's quite a few feeder blogs I've dmed and gotten no response from. It's life ! So what ! There's plenty of people to talk to on this site.

Immediately get sexual or flirty without consent ( also don't ask too early on ! It's kinda wierd and objectifying 😥 ) these are girls with whole ass feelings and emotions man.

Reach out with sexual intentions being your ONLY intentions. Again, this is a PERSON you're talking to. You wouldn't like it very much if some dude only dmed you for sex and didn't actually care about talking with you.

Block evade. If a feeder blocks you, don't make another tumblr account just to ask them why. If you don't know them, then they don't owe you a reason why. If you were very close to them, I know it's hard but you should let them go. If it's meant to be, they'll come back. Don't harass them.

Do:

Small talk ! Ask how they are, ask if they boil or fry their hotdogs ( and worship them for being right about fried being the superior option) ! Show actual interest in them !! You guys are MISSING OUT MAN ! Girls like these usually have so much personality it's addicting ! I mean you'd fall head over heels for these ladies, if you actually gave them a chance. Don't assume they're boring outside of kink !! ( Also by fall ' head over heels ' for them I mean you will adore them platonically ( with Maybe a crush ) do not expect dating out these girls. Most are taken and others probably get asked to online date by 10 other feeders a day. Just make some friends for once ! Not everything has to be about dating !!

Allow space for talk about hobbies outside of kink ! Into DND? What if she is, too!? Talk about it !

Give them space ! They get loads of dms a day, and also probably have limited free time for this place. So don't smother them !! You'll drain them if you act clingy, and make her want to leave.

Stay healthy. Don't be a negative Nancy. If things aren't going your way in the convo then don't guilt trip her. That's a dick move.

This was a pretty basic list and I'm as high as the cost of living still. So i probably forgot a lot. Anyway, this very Basic guide is a good tool to save and check if you need to. Drink your respect women juice.

#psa #idk why they wanted a seperate post probably so its doesnt cut short with the nee tumblr update making all long posts have a read more ?#anyway (:#feel free to reblog !#not sure how to tag this one #feederism community #feederism psa #ffa

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rodricksfilipinagf · 1 year

Text

Muffins and Morning Sex (Jamie Tartt x Reader)

“I guess I should get home,” I say.

Jamie shrugs. “The bed’s already paid for. You can stay. I am.”

Exhaustion wins out. “Fine. I’m too tired to wait for an Uber.”

He smiles proudly. “Wore you out, didn’t I? Means I did something right.”

“I really hate you, you know that?” I say, slipping between the covers.

Jamie climbs in beside me. “You also think I’m a sex god,” he adds smugly.

“Fuck off,” I say. “Not that it matters, but that was my first time. It’s not like I have anything else to compare it to…”

There is a long beat of silence. “You’re fucking joking,” Jamie finally says.

“No,” I answer.

“You were a virgin?” Jamie asks in disbelief.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, I don’t care that it wasn’t special or with someone I loved.” Though wasn’t it special in its own way? Jamie annoys the living fuck out of me, but he also turns me on like no one else. Having sex with him was way better than I thought it was going to be.

“You could have told me I was taking your virginity.” Jamie sounds annoyed.

“Why? Would you have been nicer to me?” I ask.

“Maybe,” Jamie says quietly. “No, probably not.” He clears his throat. “You were great. Really, I couldn’t tell.”

“Wow, Jamie Tartt giving me a compliment? Has hell frozen over?” I think over what he said. “Wait, so I didn’t suck. And you… does this mean you still have feelings for me?”

“You mean do I still want to fuck you?” Jamie clarifies. His eyes find their way to mine. “Yeah.”

My heartbeat decides to pick up the pace. “Me too.”

“That’s not surprising,” he says, making me roll my eyes. “I usually don’t want to shag people more than once, so you should count yourself lucky.”

“Yeah, I’m so lucky that someone who hates my guts wants to fuck me again.”

Suddenly he’s all up on me. “Don’t pretend you don’t want it as much as I do. Admit it, you wish I was kissing you right now.”

Since he’s keeping things purely physical, I see no harm in saying, “Maybe.”

Jamie kisses me and it’s almost…sweet. He wraps an arm around me and doesn’t remove it the entire night. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was actually starting to like me.

I wake up alone. I look around at the hotel room, wondering if last night was all a dream. If I booked myself this room and had the world’s most elaborate sex dream about Jamie Tartt. I frown and feel something crumpling on my forehead. I pull off a sticky note.

Getting breakfast for us. Prepare for payback for making me shower alone ;)

- Jamie

Wow. When he wasn’t there, I assumed he ditched me. Went back home to his apartment and laughed at me expecting to wake up next to him. But he was actually planning to come back? With food? Also that second part is making my pussy all fluttery. He’s antagonizing me like he always does, but he’s also being incredibly flirty…and sexy.

Oh, God. What if I’m starting to like him? That can’t be it. I just crave his body, that’s it.

I hear his key sliding into the door. I’m still not wearing any clothes. I can’t be blushing when he comes in- I can’t. God, all I want is to feel his body against mine again. He walks in wearing his outfit from the night before, looking just as jaw-droppingly gorgeous, and places a brown paper bag on the table.

What do I even say? I mull over my options as he takes off his pants, then his underwear. Thanks for bringing me breakfast? Thanks for not leaving? You look just as hot as you did last night and I still want to fuck you? I settle on, “So why didn’t you wake me up if you wanted company in the shower?”

He instantly straddles me, grabbing at a lock of my hair and playing with it. “Because I wanted to get my revenge on you more.” He winks at me as he pulls the lock hard. “Hope you had sweet dreams, love. I’m about to be your worst nightmare.” His mouth instantly devours mine, and his tongue gives mine hell. He hauls me out of bed and my legs wrap around his hips. He presses me up against the wall, taking the opportunity to squeeze my ass.

“Who knew torturing you was going to be this fun?” Jamie gloats before thrusting into me hard, over and over and over. He continues at a more rapid pace, making my boobs jiggle up and down uncontrollably. At one point he buries his face in my hastily bouncing cleavage like it was his birthright. Now that he knows where the clit is, he takes pleasure in eliciting shouts from me, all while leaving the biggest, most noticeable hickeys on my neck for me to cover up later. I try my best to dig my nails into his ass but he gives mine a hard pinch in return. His tip excruciatingly runs the length of my clit, making me moan in pleasure.

After making fun of me for finding it hard to stand, he carries me back to the bed. “When you said I was a sex god, you were right,” he teases.

“You’re the worst,” I reply.

He snatches the brown paper bag from the table. “Does that mean you don’t want these?”

I grasp it out of his hands. “Hand it over, jackass.” I look inside. “Holy crap, are these muffins? They smell fresh-baked!”

“They are,” he says.

I can’t help but smile. Who knew Jamie was capable of something so thoughtful.

“I would have gotten scones, except I hate them, and if you didn’t like them then neither of us would eat them.”

“Oh no- I don’t get the hype around them…I don’t know, I find them too hard.” As I say this I can see Jamie’s eyes light up slightly. His lips zoom towards mine and my tongue happily licks his. I sigh blissfully. God, he’s so hot. If I could imagine him not being Jamie Tartt, whose mission in life is to make my life miserable, I might actually really like him.

As he breaks away from me, he exclaims, “Thank you! Someone gets it.”

A smile works its way across my face. That was so…unexpectedly cute. I take out a blueberry muffin. It’s warm and soft in my mouth. It tastes almost as delicious as Jamie’s kisses.

Ughhhh, why is he making me fall for him? It’s not fair. He’d never feel the same way about me. He’s made it clear that he only wants me for my body. The only feelings he has for me are sexual ones, and I’m not going to lie, being on the brunt of those is hot as hell. If that’s how Jamie treats someone he despises, he must be…fucking dynamite with someone he loves.

“Have you ever been in love before?” I ask absently.

He nearly chokes on his muffin. “Sorry- what?”

I widen my eyes. “Never mind. Uh….you don’t have to answer that.”

Jamie swallows. “No. No, I haven’t.” He peers at me curiously. “Why do you ask?”

Oh, God, now he’s going to think I’m in love with him after one night of sex in which he treated me like garbage… but also made my body feel the most satisfied its ever felt.

“I was just wondering if you’d treat a girl you were in love with better in bed.”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Probably?”

“You’re not going to ask if I’ve ever been in love?”

“I don’t care,” Jamie states plainly.

“That sounds more like you,” I remark.

“You should finish up,” Jamie says. “I have to get you home.”

“Awww, you don’t want to spend the day together? I’m hurt,” I say sarcastically. Why did I hope that after one sweet gesture, Jamie might actually morph into someone I could want to be with?

“Actually, I do,” Jamie says, surprising me. “Just thought you’d want to change first.”

“Oh.” That is actually really thoughtful. “You actually want to spend time with me?”

“Thought I’d bully you some more, if that’s okay.” Jamie gives me a sardonic smile.

“I’m always looking for more reasons to hate you, so…sure… I guess….”

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x female reader #jamie tartt fanfic #jamie tartt fanfiction #ted lasso #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction

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pancake-nikkitty · 10 months

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Thoughts I’ve had about Hyrule while playing TotK

Warning these are a little unhinged bear with me. Also possible spoilers? I don’t think there are but like. Read at your own risk.

So Zelda is definitely a descendant of Rauru&Sonia. So they definitely had at least one baby before they died. Who raised it? Sonia’s family? Did the living sages co-parent the child? Did they just entrust the child to castle staff? Do Zonai walk out the womb able to take care of themselves?

In the same vein, have royal Hylian’s lifespans been slowly getting shorter as they’ve married non-royal Hylians? I’m assuming Zonai had long lifespans if they were considered so godly, so a half-Hylian half-Zonai probably lived a long ass time, but as you keep adding Hylains with no genetic connection to Zonai I’d think it’d shorten it over time? I’m no geneticist so idk.

Do you think the rest of Hyrule was super racist toward Gerudos for awhile? Maybe its because I grew up in America and I’m used to people being racist towards a whole race for things a small group did but idk if that’s how people in Hyrule would be, especially since they had Gerudo on their side.

Did people want the next Gerudo male to be executed in fear of him turning out like Ganon? And do you think the Gerudo considered it? With how long some lifespans are (like the Zora, possibly royal Hylians? Sheikah live a long time too it looks like) people affected by Ganon might still be alive when the next male was born.

Continuing with Gerudo but less…heavy? Can they reproduce with other races besides Hylians? Like if a Gerudo fell in love with like a Rito would they be able to conceive and potentially have a child? Or does it have to be a Hylian?

Do Gerudo only produce other Gerudo??? Like will she always spawn a Gerudo no matter what? Can they have pregnancies that result in boys or non-gerudo women?

On the subject of producing children. Can Zora have children with Hylians? Because like. King Dorephan did not give a fuck about an heir when Mipha was in love with Link. Is it because they could reproduce? Did it have to do with the vast different in lifespans, so he figured she could have an heir with a Zora later in life? Did he just assume Sidon wouldn’t fall for a Hylian himself and create an heir with his future spouse?

HOW DO GORON REPRODUCE??? I have no other thoughts around this. Just. How. My brain is like. Fucky magic shit. Like a couple decides they want a child and find a suitable rock, then pray to Hylia and eventually the rock is imbued with life.

Zora pregnancies. How do they work? Is it like shark pregnancies? Or like other fish pregnancies? (i don’t know anything about shark pregnancies tbh. Or fish pregnancies in general) Because I think Yona is like a manta ray, yeah? Like Muzu? Because looking at Mipha&Sidon you’d think a pregnancy results in one baby? But is that normal?

Okay also like. The Zora sleep in those communal pools. Do they…do they have sex in there? In front of the children? Do they have separate like mating pools? Or are Zora children just like. Desensitized to it like some sort of Brave New World type shit. Or is mating just like. “I want babies!” “Me too!” Implants female with eggs. And that’s it??? Am I thinking too human with this??? Idfk.

I really just want a whole ass lesson on everything revolving around reproduction with all the different races in Hyrule and the possibilities of having mixed children.

Back to Gerudo. On the subject of thinking about things too long. Gerudo anatomy. What if they’re like hyenas? Like. I don’t know much about hyena anatomy besides the fact that the females have bigger dicks than the males. And like. Gerudo’s have Big Dick Energy so like. What if they actually have dicks?

On a more serious note. I’d also like a whole ass lesson on the life cycles of the individual races and average life expectancy.

That’s it for now. Why am I like this.

#legend of zelda #loz breath of the wild #loz totk #loz tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #breath of the wild #totk zora #totk goron #totk gerudo #totk rito #botw mipha #totk sidon #thinking too hard #breath of the wild sidon

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punks-never-die205 · 9 months

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Souled Out

Fem Reader x Demon!Eustass Kid

CW: Blood, religious tones, original creation myth, ritual, violence, dubious consent, 18+

Chapter 2: Soul Stipulation

The demon’s eyes go wide at your declaration, and when it peers at you again, it feels like it’s trying to peer into you. The intensity of the gaze tickles the edges of your discomfort, but it’s not bad.

“Huh, it really is mostly gone. There’s bits and pieces hanging onto you, I guess that’s how you were able to survive.” It muses. “So you want me to help you find your soul, just so you can give it to me in payment?”

You nod. “If someone other than me is going to have my soul, I’d rather decide who gets it. I don’t like that it’s gone without my say.” You answer.

“Hmm…” Its eyes go half-lidded, a bemused smirk on its face. “The more you chirp little bird, the more I’m interested. Okay, is your blood offer all there is in our deal?”

“I know I included my body in the payment, and I’m not going to try and rescind that, but I do have a request regarding it.”

“If you say something ridiculous like ‘no sex’ to someone like me, I’ll tear this circle apart and drag you to the depths with me.” It promises testily, dark scales shivering over the smooth marble skin again.

“No, I don’t care about that. Even when I had my soul, I had no hang ups about casual sex, my request is that you don’t break or scar my body until we get my soul back.”

“Eh? You want me to be gentle for an indeterminate amount of time?” Its face crinkles, but you shake your head.

“I’m not saying you can’t hurt me; I’m saying that I don’t want new scars or broken bones. Even if it’s just for a moment, I want my soul and my body back exactly how they were before my soul was stolen.” You explain. “After that you can tear me apart if that’s what you want.”

“Mmm, I can accept that.” It agrees. “I have a couple stipulations of my own.”

“I… alright, what are they?” Frankly you had expected a demon would simply do as it pleased. That it would, instead, be making a list of things like a true contract, caught you off guard a little. Though, it made sense, according to the lore demons lived and died by contracts.

You had simply assumed that part of the lore was nothing more than a way for humans to fool themselves into trusting a demon.

“My name’s Eustass Kid. Call me that, or Master, and stop thinking of me as an it or a demon. I’m already annoyed by it.”

“Don’t read my mind then.” You retort.

“Some of that shit’s impossible to block out, especially when you’re thinking about me and looking at me. It’s like tryin’ to ignore someone yelling in your face, so fucking work on it.”

You let out a sigh and level a gaze at him and think to yourself how summoning Eustass Kid might be the biggest successful mistake of your life. But you’ll be damned if you were ever going to call him Master.

Eustass grins, licking his lips again. “Look here, honey pot, you sold your soul to a demon like me, you already are damned.”

“Are we agreed then, or do you have another stipulation?” You ask, ignoring the taunt.

“One more,” he says, stretching as all his perfect muscles shiver and roll. The action seems functional and not intended to seduce, but you could easily watch him do it again. “I expect to be fed.”

“… what do demons eat?” You’re hoping he’s not going to expect you to hunt humans for him.

“Whatever the fuck they want, doll face. Normal human fare works fine. I don’t need to eat souls or whatever shit people think we eat.” He adds. Looking down first he catches your gaze with a crooked grin. “I don’t have any clothes for this world either.”

Your brows furrow. “Wait - are you requesting room and board?”

“And clothes. I don’t think you want the kind of attention that would come from me walking around like this.”

“… I had already intended to provide for you as best I could, so that’s not an issue.” You say, pinching the bridge of your nose. It was refreshing to feel a twinge of emotion, but why did that emotion have to be this?

“The bed’s big enough, and if you want it all to yourself, then I can fit on the couch. I’ll need a couple hours to go find clothes that will fit you, and while my funds aren’t endless, I am capable of buying food for,” you look at his size and get your japes in while you can, “the small army I’m sure lives within your stomach.”

“A sense of humor, that’s impressive.” He grins, arms folded across his chest. “I can’t bitch anyway, but I’ll earn all that food when I find your soul, little contractor.”

“… (Y/N).” You say, standing up. “Breaking the circle will free you on this side, correct?”

Eustass grins. “Yup.”

You walk away and into the kitchen before coming back with a bucket of hot water. It’s tempting to throw it on him, but you’re not trying to push the limits of your contract. You toss the water across the floor and as soon as the blood wavers, the light dims, and the spell breaks. Eustass Kid steps forward and takes a deep breath before leering down at you.

You look up at him, somewhat blankly and are about to ask what’s on his mind when strong hands grab and lift you. Before you’ve registered that you’re moving you’re up against the nearest wall roughly.

Hot, surprisingly painted and hungry lips press into yours, coaxing your mouth open with impressive skill. The taste of the kiss isn’t bad, it’s sharp like fresh spices and cleaner than you expected. It was delicious. The intensity is enough that you have no control, and your breath is wrested from you as hot hands wander under your shirt.

The lack of air makes you dizzy and causes your blood to rush, and you let slip an approving hum. The actions are far from gentle, but there’s no violence in them. It’s more passion than you expected, and your only regret is how little you’re able to appreciate it.

If this was how kissing an otherworldly being was like, you should’ve researched demon summoning a decade before your soul had been stolen.

Eustass leans back, amber-gold eyes shining under their own power. You’re breathing heavily, but only because you were out of air. Your face is flush from the sudden assault, but you can see his eyes narrow.

“When’s the last time you kissed someone?” He asks. There’s irritation in his voice that isn’t showing on his face just yet.

“Twenty years ago.”

“Last time you soaked your pants?”

It was a crude way of putting it, but you knew what he meant. “… Twenty-three years ago.”

“Fuck.” He pushes you into the wall in aggravation before letting you slide down the floor. “No soul, no fucking soul!” You can see the scales shiver across his body again. “Wait - no soul means no emotions, that’s how you knew, wasn’t it?”

You nod.

His pupils are like slits, and his hair seems to actually catch fire for a brief moment. He grabs your collar and yanks you close, leaning down so you’re practically nose to nose with him.

“I’m not going to be happy if I’m going to be celibate while we look for your soul.” He growls, and you can feel frustration rolling off him. You’re almost envious of how emotional he’s getting.

“I didn’t say I had to enjoy it,” you point out. “You can use my body, I’m okay with that.”

He straightens up, both hands over his face. “No, it’ll just piss me off.” He leans back down, growling in your ear, tongue slipping along your skin as his voice melts over you. “The sounds, little mouse, the squirming, the struggling, the delicious moans that are my fault and the pleading cries for mercy as pleasure overwhelms the little morsel whose mind is shattering from my cock buried deep in their soaking - needy - fucking body - is the point!” By the end he’s leaned back, growling the last few words in aggravation.

“If all I wanted was to nut and be done with it, I wouldn’t have answered you.”

“We can figure something out.” You insist. “One problem at a time. I need to buy you clothes. You can’t prowl the clubs looking for a screamer naked.”

You change your clothes, the back of your shirt was smeared with blood when he slammed you against the wall and you can’t go out into public like that. Making sure you don’t have any blood on your skin you fix you hair up and gather your keys and wallet.

Eustass has been scowling at the ceiling the entire time, his tail whipping against the concrete flooring of the apartment.

“What were you like before your soul got snagged?” He questions absently. You’re pretty sure he’s asking what you were like in bed.

“You can read my mind; can’t you see memories or something?” You ask.

“I’m not an incubus or a succubus, you little shit.” He grumbles, looking up at the ceiling still caught up in his own frustration.

“I… I was probably your kind of twisted.” You admit, feeling his gaze shift to you. “I don’t remember it clearly anymore, and I can’t hold onto the emotions enough to be sure, but I reveled in pleasure. I miss it.”

“Sex?”

“Feeling.” You clarify. “I haven’t felt pain, pleasure, rage, aggravation, joy, love, grief, or much of anything in twenty-five years. Imagine knowing you’ve orgasmed, but not feeling anything. Your body tenses, your pulse quickens, and that’s it. There’s no rush, no euphoria, no fear that it’s too much, nothing.” Your words and expression are softer than you actually feel about it, but you can’t force the anger up to the surface. “I still have all my accessories, feel free to look around while I’m gone. I’m just going to get you some basic items, enough for you to buy what you want tomorrow.”

You start toward the door and stop for a second. “Look, this is all weird as fuck, and I appreciate you being reasonable about it.” You feel like you should say something more, but it’s hard to sort out. Emotions guided a lot of your decisions, like it or not, and your struggle with social interactions had only gotten worse as more time went by.

You give a small nod, and leave.

There’s a long silence in the room and then Eustass practically growls an exasperated sigh of frustration. “Feeling fucking sorry for a human.”

#Souled Out #eustass kid #x reader #eustass kid x reader #supernatural au #one piece fanfiction #reader insert

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bisexualmultifandommess · 11 months

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Today’s character is Steve Harrington!

Steve:

Since Steve grew up in the 70s and is currently in the 80s, he’s grown up in a time when labels for sexualities existed but weren’t commonly known especially since there’s no internet and he lives in a small town. He has also grown up in a era where lgbt wasn’t as accepted as it it is now.

Steve isn’t the most knowledgeable when it comes to Queer terms and only really started learning more about it after Robin came out to him. Before learning more he assumed that you either liked girls or boys which scared him a little when he started noticing that he was occasionally interested in men.

The first boy Steve ever had a crush on was Tommy. He remembered that when he was twelve they had a sleepover and whenever Tommy would nudge him or grab him while they were playing outside he would feel nervous but in a good way like he had butterflies. At the time this scared him a little and he convinced himself it wasn’t happening. He did, however, still remain friends with Tommy until their friendship broke apart in 1983. Steve never found out out that Tommy had feelings for him too because he eventually moved on from him.

Steve kissed a boy while on vacation once when he was around fourteen because they’d spent a lot of time together since their families were vacationing near each other and Steve had developed a small crush on him. He hadn’t realised it was a crush until they’d spent time together near a lake while exploring and both had kissed our of curiosity in a moment of piece while resting after swimming. The kiss was nice and it made Steve feel almost free but he also felt nervous. He didn’t bring it up once he was back in Hawkins since his parents wouldn’t accept it and he had no one else to talk to.

Steve was attracted to Billy though it was purely his looks because he found his personality awful. He felt nervous around Billy in both ways but always tried to remain snarky around him and act like he wasn’t bothered.

After learning about Robin he found that he learnt more about sexualities and was able to learn and understand what bisexuality is. He tried explaining one day to Robin that he wasn’t gay because he had genuinely loved Nancy and had even crushed on Robin before finding out she was gay and Robin had to explain that it was okay to like both men and women. This helped Steve a lot in accepting himself as he now knew a lot more.

Steve isn’t ready to come out yet to anyone but Robin because she’ll understand the most out of everyone but he still takes time to learn more on it not just for himself but to support Robin. Both of them once Steve starts feeling more comfortable talking about his sexuality talk about their crushes and who they find attractive.

Steve’s type is very much people with long and wavy hair. He also likes strong minded people, which is why he wasn’t surprised but still a little annoyed when he developed feelings for Eddie Munson. Although Eddie shares a lot of traits with most of his past crushes, Steve still finds him a little confusing and has an unrelated jealously about Dustin preferring him. Once he gets over that he starts seeing more positive things about Eddie.

Steve has had crushes on Tommy, Nancy, Robin, Billy, Eddie and many others.

Another Headcanon

This headcanon can go along with the other headcanons but I also see it on its own being the one that would most fit canon if they had ever decided to give Steve a lgbt storyline

Asexual - Steve has spent most of his teen years thinking that sex and his looks are very important to remain popular. He’s slept with a few women and gone on a few dates but never felt like any of it felt right. I think that Steve being asexual would fit him because I believe that he would be someone who does feel sexual attraction but not very often but in his teen years convinced himself that sex was the only important part of a relationship but it isn’t. His friends help him understand that he doesn’t need to have sex to have a fulfilling relationship and that if it’s something he wants he can but he doesn’t have much sexual desire.

This last one is more to fit canon and I mostly headcanon the ones above however I think being asexual fits Steve a lot and you can be asexual and bisexual.

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beevean · 4 months

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The more I rewatch the show, the more I notice how it's in this in-between state regarding its lore. It takes the base elements from the Wiki, but it doesn't understand the context, and it creates more holes than necessary.

It's the most evident with Dracula and the Devil Forgemasters, and rewatching S3 made me notice yet another consequence of this.

So I complained enough about the scene where Lenore manipulates Hector in his cell, because it's just a repeat of what Carmilla did one month prior: Dracula stupid, we'll give you what you want. I also complained how... sterile this emotional manipulation is. But there's another thing:

Lenore: What was Dracula going to give you? Hector: I… I don't understand the question. Lenore: You were helping build an army for Dracula. You were advising him. He was going to kill all the humans… Hector: I didn't know that. I didn't understand that until later.

Lenore: What was he going to give you for doing this work that he lied to you about? What was your reward for serving a man who lied about his intents? Hector: Ach. I-I assumed I would live outside whatever enclosures were placed around the remaining humans.

Maybe it's because I'm knee deep in the MF manga, and as of this writing I finished re-translating Hector's big breakdown about how he's afraid like there is no place for him, how he couldn't live with his own parents, how the Castle no longer stands, and how he fears that Rosaly and the others will eventually realize that he's just an abomination... but I realized that the script has been warped so that Hector couldn't give the simplest answer:

"Dracula gave me a home and appreciation."

That's it. This is Hector's "reward". By all means, this trait was kept from mangas to show: Hector and Isaac have been shunned by humanity, and Dracula was the first person who ever showed them kindness, so this is why they're loyal to him. Sure, Lenore could have still protested against this ("That's it? All of this work, just for the right to live?"), but it would have been consistent with with previously established, and maybe even a poignant way to show that Hector really craves for little more than love, which would have even explained, as horrible as it is, why Lenore thought to resort to sex to tie him down. (instead he keeps begging for new shoes in a comical manner, which instead makes him come off as childish :\)

... and then I realized, well, actually no. The trait wasn't kept.

This is, once again, a result of a simple change in lore. In the mangas, Hector and Isaac go to Dracula, in one version explicitly when they were young boys, and the three have a relationship of Lord and knights. The knights offer their services, the promise to study dark magic and train to be efficient fighters, and the Lord in return gives them a home, a place where they won't be hated for how they were born. It's in theory a more equal relationship, even if tinged with the emotional dependency of the boys.

In short: there is no "reward" for participating in the mission of mass slaughter. It was their duty, as Dracula's knights. It was what expected from them after he so generously allowed them to live.

Of course, this makes Hector's betrayal more poignant: he decided that his own safety was less important than the simple principle that not all humans deserve to die.

As I pointed out multiple times, in the show it's Dracula who goes to the two men to "hire" them. And it's no longer a relationship of Lord and knights: it's just... boss and workers. And when you think about it, yes, Dracula doesn't really offer them anything, he just went to them like "wife died, i want to kill all humans, come with me". Isaac accepted only because he's a fanatic who also would like the human race to die out. Hector... Hector just goes along with Dracula's half-hearted suggestion. He was doing fine in his little house in Rhodes. He didn't need Dracula, and Dracula clearly didn't need him, judging by how the two barely register each other's existence. Most importantly, Hector didn't really care about his plan, he just thought "yeah sure why not".

And this is a recurring theme, Hector going "yeah sure why not" to everything happening to him. Even at the very end, when Isaac stops his quest to resurrect Dracula, something he worked on for one month and a half, and he just gives up after a few words. I keep being more and more appalled by the complete lack of agency of this character, way beyond what intended.

(I will forever die on the hill that, contrary to popular belief that N!Hector is motivated by a deep need for love and that justifies all of his mistakes, game Hector displays this trait far more prominently and coherently, even if it's just implied.)

Another thing I noticed that ties with this above point but more generally: the show makes the point multiple times, through Carmilla, Lenore and the Captain, that Hector and Isaac would have been eventually involved in Dracula's genocide as humans. Isaac seemingly realized this and made peace with it, Hector never put 2 and 2 together because of course he didn't. To me, this smacks of the writer pointing out a plot hole in the original story... that simply isn't there, much like Flynn coming up with a whole philosophical debate on "why doesn't Sonic kill Eggman?" ignoring the simple answer "because Eggman is good at running away". In this case, the mangas make it clear: Hector and Isaac are not simple humans. They were born cursed, and have been infused with Dracula's magic. Hector has a whole crisis over whether he's a human or a demon. Of course Dracula wouldn't sacrifice his elite soldiers, that he basically made, for the sake of his slaughter!

Now I can already hear the argument that adaptations don't have to be 1:1, and some changes are bound to happen or don't matter that much. The reason I'm spending so many words about this, aside for my personal preference for the original themes, is that the original story worked just fine. These changes are actively damaging! They do nothing but raise more questions, create more holes to be patched... and most importantly, it makes the characters look bad. Dracula comes off as stupid for how wishy-washy he is with Hector, lying to him and not showing him a hint of respect, which always makes me wonder why did he bother to hire him. Hector comes off as weak and stupid, doing so much for no tangible reason, and this alone is the reason why his entire arc in the show is basically "other villains play him like a fiddle". Even Isaac is weird here, as the show tries to conciliate him being a mindlessly loyal servant of Dracula with the two being friends, leading to a very awkward relationship where they speak like equals in one scene and Isaac worships the guy like a God in another.

Changes are fine if they actually fix a problem of the original story, or are at least innocuous. Not because you didn't understand the assignment, and then you pretend to be smart about it.

#anti netflixvania #we watched only one episode yesterday #there was little to say except well all of this #i didn't want to make a long reblog in case i want to add more

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variousqueerthings · 3 months

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Asking this genuinely in good faith but: im confused about what you mean when you say sex is a construct like gender? obviously like. The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct. But I dont see how actual biology is? Obviously there needs to be greater understanding of the nuances of differences in sexes, and its not a binary like how a lot of people talk about it. But the difference in chromosomes, anatomy, hormones, etc. between different sexes is real, and it’s scientifically relevant to distinguish between them when performing clinical studies etc. so i guess i just wonder if you could elaborate on what you mean exactly when you say that? Thanks!

hiya, hope all is well in wherever you are anon. EDIT: well this got long

I assume you mean the post I reblogged about acknowledging that sex is also a construct that shifts depending on the agenda of the person speaking about it

first things first, gonna acknowledge, this is not my expert topic. a big reason why I reblogged this post (and a few other similarly ones over the years, reminding me that my tagging is a mess and I need to clean that up) is my allyship for intersex people - I want to listen to what they're saying, so my first big shout-out is to read up on what intersex people are saying about their lived realities and politics

also as a recommendation I've been enjoying a lot of what @genderqueerdykes have been writing (I believe I rb'd that post from there), which is a general widespread queer intersex-gender-and-aromantic-fuckery-based positivity, that is good for my all over the place soul (also I am currently unemployed, but if someone has a bit of cash to spare there's a continuous fund to help support through homelessness at the top of that blog)

secondly to second, I agree with you --it is important to be able to distinguish various characteristics in human bodies (for example, say, the ability to give birth, let's go with a big one there, not everyone can do that one) so that we can effectively support people medically, do important clinical studies, and also, for sure, speak about elements of bodies that are gatekept, monitored, denied agency, and otherwise become elements of a society that is white supremacist, colonialist, patriarchal, ableist, queerphobic, transphobic and -- returning to aforementioned under-discussed elephant in the room -- intersexist

so to clarify on the idea of the post you're referring to, whilst also going into why I've just listed out some of the violating institutions of our society, the way we decide what defines sex, is changeable, and comes from our cultural norms, it's 100% what you said "The social and societal expectations around sex/gender are a construct" <- you're very much understanding the post with this sentence

take sports. sports is currently one of the biggest spaces we're seeing this out in the open. the notion of what defines a Woman (sex-and/or-gender-malleable-depending-on-the-speakers-agenda) is changeable depending on skin colour, country of origin, "masculine" features (also white supremacist in function, who can forget that tweet where three cis non-white women were "called out" for being trans women -- I've seen similar many times), being intersex (whether or not the person knew about it beforehand, and in Caster Semenya's case, she was tricked into giving up that information, so that's a big non-consensual medical violation amongst all the others), and of course, the patriarchal idea that women just must be weaker all the time, and if they won't be it on their own dime, then we'll change the rules and force/coerce them to do things to their bodies that they did not consent to. gender roles enforcing sex as social construct

I note that since the 20s and all through today, women have had to undergo various humiliating checks to "prove" that they were real enough women to play sports. which coincidentally is what people have been saying girls are risking having to do now in America if things continue the way they have been

as a sidenote, I was watching a neat little documentary interviewing various trans people in sports called "Game On, Queer Disruptions in Sport," which included a story by a Bulgarian ex-rower who back in the day was ousted from professional rowing for being tested positive as intersex. in their story they talked about how actually over half the team were, but it was only because they told their coach and it became public that it was a problem. where does sex end and gender begin in all of this? whose agenda does it prop up when not talking about something "allows" some people to be women and others not to be (to be clear, they no longer ID as a woman, but if memory serves as intersex as their gender so that adds a whole nother dimension, but boy oh boy this is getting long)

sex -- in the sense that people are born with different chromosomes, levels of hormones, developmental Stuff that hijinks how those hormones interact with the body, and a million other facets that affect what we call sexual characteristics -- is real, in the same way that height differences are real (here's a video by philosophytube, which from memory is very trans-skewed, which, understandable, she was going head-on with the terfs and transphobes at the time, but I do think less overall on intersex people -- but yeah, she did the height example there, I'm borrowing it)

how we decide to enforce gender through sex, what sex counts as Enough to be allowed access to [insert gender], what sexual characteristics are allowed without censure and/or other forms of violation of body and (you guessed it) how that overlaps with ideas about gendered characteristics, how we create the gender roles based on our assumptions about sex, and then how we enforce those gender roles onto sexual characteristics like a depressing game of ping-pong, in which each reinforces the rights of the other part of the "argument" to say "well, we need to constantly remain vigilant in order for the world to be neatly divided into two, easily distinguishable categories, otherwise Chaos will ensue! how can we know what a Man and a Woman is if it's not clear cut somehow!" (deep breath)

we're.... sort of on the path of going "well alright non-binary is a thing, as long as we assert that this is purely Gender, the Thing Going On In Your Head Ya Weirdos, perhaps we can just about allow something that's a catch-all third gender type thing in a few countries (although, notably to meeeee, not in the UK)," but we haven't yet truly begun to deal with the fact that whatever is going on with the human body is so much more complicated than that and people are absolutely suffering because of this

and the more one thinks about the sheer rabbit hole of this reality, the more one realises just how damaging we're being, first and foremost to intersex people, and then spiralling, hitting every bigoted institution branch in the book on the way down, because well, okay, gender we'll juuust about accept can be fluid and changeable, but we'll not actually... interact with how bodies are fluid and changeable, because of genes, geography, medical intervention, illness, or idk, a hundred things I havent thought about

so in conclusion: how do we decide to define sex-and-gender? what is our agenda with discussing sex/when we bring it up in our politics (and I mean this not just as a hypothetical for frothing at the mouth rightwing bastards, us, who I believe to be well-meaning, too)? is it to end surgery on intersex babies, is it to make sure transmasc people can access pregnancy support, is it to allow girls and women (any and all girls and women) access to healthy outlets in sports, etcetcetc? is it to be able to more effectively discuss the ways bigoted institutions interact with one another to enforce their ideas onto bodies? or is it to rigidly enforce the divide and insist that while we'll allow the gender thing (again, just about, with caveats, heavy disclaimers, etc) there are two sexes, and never shall the twain intersect, interact, overlap, or indeed have anything to do with gender, for they are immutable objective realities that are not at all affected by our politics and ideals...

it's a sad, unsexy state of affairs

I hope this gave a little introductionary Thing and curiosity to poke at it further. potentially somewhere where someone has much more detail on the actual Philosophy of all of this, because I'd think that's cool, and also for this is like. pokes here pokes there, and also can you tell I'm actually jock from the focus I decided to take there? no? whew still in the closet on that one

#this is like. drop in the water.#i dont know if anyone has actually written a book or a thesis about this?#it would be useful if so #because again: it's not my expert subject. and also. i like to read #someone could say this better than me - many people have online #intersex stuff #intersex allyship #queer stuff #long post #anon ❤#go tf to sleep #ramble ramble ramble

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