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#jamie tartt fanfic
danistartt · 1 year
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Gentleman- Jamie Tartt
pairings: jamie tartt x reader, richmond team warnings: language. i think i read this one too many times. about: request! secret dating because reader works for Richmond (as like pr or physio or something) but when they win a match one day Jamie is so overcome with joy he just has to kiss her
“Don’t you think someone is bound to get worried you’re coming in here every day?” you wonder, pinching away individual blades of grass stuck among the fuzzy dandelions of Jamie’s socks.
“Nah,” he says, watching your careful attention from his place on the pillow. He’s feeling bad about putting his muddy shoes over your clean lap, but you haven’t complained once, only appreciating the easy access to touch him. “They don’t know I come up here.”
You look perplexed. “Where do they think you go?”
Jamie shrugs. “The loo?”
“The one not in the locker room? Six times a day for ten minutes?”
“I keep myself hydrated,” he tells you, lifting up his water bottle to wag it at you. “Y’know, to keep up appearances.”
You chuckle, pushing the web of your thumb around his ankle and trying to touch your pointer. Your phone blinks up at you, the time precarious. Your hand slackens. “You need to get back soon.”
Jamie gets that sticky feeling he does whenever he has to leave something, gross and pleading at the pit of his stomach, his every cell calling out for him to use his time better. He wants to touch you like you’re touching him. He shifts onto his elbows and stares at you. “I can be a little late.”
You frown at the idea, your hands still and warm on his calves. “No, Jamie.”
“Yes, Jamie,” he murmurs, his arms making quick succession in tugging you to him. He’s strong, he’s always been strong, but you don’t tend to notice until he’s pulling you out from beneath his legs and hugging you in a single movement.
You don’t want to encourage him but you want even less to not make your delight shown at being pressed against his chest.
The minute changes. Your care for it begins to dwindle.
“Jamie!” you squeal, not moving. 
He says your name in the same tone, as condescending as he used to be but sweetened by the kiss he presses against your hair. “C’mon, love,” he encourages, a horrid influence working.
“No,” you insist weakly. “Ted’s waiting for you. The team’s waiting for you.”
“But I’ve been waitin’ for this all day,” he complains pointedly. “Maybe I should trip o’er the ball or somethin’. Make a nice excuse to spend hours here with ya.”
“Jamie Tartt? Not believable.”
He makes a pleased noise, pressing another kiss to your forehead. “You’re right.”
Another minute. Ted’s brown eyes bore into your subconscious.
Painfully, you peel yourself off of Jamie, slotting his thighs between your own. You watch his pupils dilate from above him.
“No,” you start, gently holding his face in your hands in a plea and causing the opposite effect you’d meant to. “No time. Later.”
He grasps your coat tightly.
“I promise. Just go to practice.” You spy the time and scramble off of him. “Now.”
He groans, catching your wrist when you hurry to collect the loose strands of his hair. He holds up a hand, pinky finger outstretched, and stares in question.
You roll your eyes but hook your own through his, a grin making its way to his face. “Y’know these’re binding, right?” he asks pragmatically.
You’d taught him that. The prick. “Yes,” you say exasperatedly, trying to pull him off the couch.
“‘M goin’,” he mutters, letting you. “I’ll see you in half an hour.”
“No you will not,” you gasp. “They’re going to think you have a bladder infection.”
“I’ll make somethin’ up,” he shrugs, looking around. He picks up your keys off your desk and wags them. “Maybe you dropped your keys when you were headin’ in.”
“Jamie,” you warn. “You can’t leave the team so much because, beside the fact that they’ll notice something is up, you actually like being with them and—”
“I like you better. A lot prettier.” He closes his fingers around the keys.
You inch closer slowly,  but he’s undeterred and blows you a kiss, leaving your office with only muddy tracks left in his place before you can catch up. “Do not come by in half an hour!”
He listens to you. Kind of.
You see him a few hours later, a cocky glaze on his features, keys clicking against one another. “Hey, doc, I think ya dropped somethin’.”
You snatch them from him. “What a gentleman.”
“Right? Had to fight for it, too. Coach must really like returning keys.”
“How’d you get him to give them up?”
“I jus’ left,” he shrugs.
You gape at him. “What?”
“I told ‘im I found your keys, he said he’d give ‘em to you after practice. I said you might need ‘em now and then I just went inside ‘fore he could call Will over. I should actually be gettin’ back now, our screaming break’s probably over.” He slinks over to you and kisses your forehead, smelling like grass and sweat and lavender detergent.
“What?” you echo.
“I’ll see you later. Can you pick up some food before you get home? Kent don’t really like it when I leave the screamin’. Says it’s most effective on me.”
He smiles at you, waves, and leaves you perplexed.
You put down what he stole from you and notice vibrant pink peeking beneath metal, a green stem’s end through the ring. When you pull it out, you recognize it as one of the flowers that keep growing at the far right edge of the field. You melt into your seat, pouting at the crumpled petals.
-
“So, what’s the verdict, Doc?” Ted asks when you come out of your room, dipping a finger behind your right glove.
“He’ll be okay. He can play this week’s game as long as he doesn’t put too much pressure on his foot. I told him to ice it periodically for two days and then just make sure it isn’t swelling.”
“No permanent damage, then?”
You laugh. “No permanent damage.”
Sam pushes your door open, leaning on a crutch.
“How you feelin’, champ?” Ted asks.
Sam shrugs. “I’ve been better. At least Doctor Y/n gave me the all clear for this week.” He looks pointedly at you, as if Ted might need confirmation from you.
“Under what conditions?” you pry.
“Rest, ice, compress, and elevate,” he lists off his fingers.
“The most important for you, Mr. Obisanya, being…”
“Not being on it for two days,” he answers, ever the great student.
“I wish all my patients listened as well as you do,” you commend, letting him go with a smile.
Ted watches him go, turning back to you with a cheery expression. “Well, thank you, Doc.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” You toy with your gloves, listening to the team erupt in noise once Sam assumedly gets back.
“And also to bring a smile to all our faces. Not to say that’s a purpose. Just a nice bonus.”
You laugh. “Thank you, Ted. Is there anything else you need from me?”
He shakes his head. “Oh, no, no. Just wanted to ask if you were interested in goin’ out with the team and I tonight.”
“Where are you going?”
“Oh, just the Crown and Anchor. We haven’t officially asked ‘em yet, but one thing that doesn’t change no matter where we are is that athletes always appreciate a good drink with good company.”
“Very true,” you murmur, contemplating. You hadn’t gone out with the boys in a while and you were beginning to miss their antics. You could sit around the house for the evening, or you could spend that same evening a little drunk with your friends. “You know what? Sure. I’d love to.”
“Alrighty then!” Ted cheers, pleasantly genuine in the way no one else is. “I’ll let ‘em know. We’ll see ya later, Doc!” 
“You too, Ted!” you call after him, slumping into your chair once you’re alone. Your phone vibrates from the table, lighting up with a picture of Jamie that he’d insisted you set as his profile picture. “Hello?”
“Coach says yer coming with us tonight?”
You stare at your door. “He just left. How could he have possibly already told you that?”
“Team groupchat. He was very insistent about it an' m'honestly not that upset about it anymore.”
You laugh. “I am going. Are you?”
“Course. D’you want me to pick you up?”
“How do we explain that?”
“I’m a gentleman?”
“To this degree? Do you think they’d believe that?”
“I’ll go before. Help ya pick out your clothes, put ‘em on?”
“You’ll see me when I get there.”
“C’mon, love. I want to be the first.”
“You always are!”
“Do you really wanna risk that streak?”
“Yes.” Other voices begin to filter in, still far away but getting closer. “I’ll see you there, Jamie. I love you.”
Jamie pauses, a soft shuffling noise preceding what is clearly Jamie’s palm curving around his phone’s speaker. “I love ya, too,” he whispers. You hang up, leaning into your seat. Your phone zzpts in your hand.
send a picture. Three dots, blinking in and out. please.
Humming, you debate it before: i’ll think about it. 
-
Jamie, of course, is the first to see you.
He looks for you in every creak of the pub door, slyly craning his neck to check for the color of your hair or the burgundy coat you tend to wear on these outings. When he finally catches sight of you, he looks away, satisfied to have been the owner of the first glance.
The others spot you quickly, raising their beers in your direction. Zoereaux puts your drink in your hand, cold bubbles splashing the curve of your thumb.
You thank him, kissing his cheek in greeting as the others crowd you. “Maybe I should be worried you all know my order.”
“Absolutely not,” Ted chimes in from your other side. “Knowledge is love.” He hugs you too. “Glad you could make it, Doc.”
You push yourself onto a seat next to Jan Maas, tipping your glass at him. “You look nice,” he says.
“Thank you,” you respond. “You too.”
“Doc?” Isaac asks.
“You can call me by my name, Isaac.”
He wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “Nah. Feels weird now.”
“Alright. What’s up?”
“My sister says thank you for the advice. Her leg’s all better now and she told me to invite you over for dinner.”
“She doesn’t have to do that.”
“She insists.”
“You should just accept,” Colin says. “She makes a good Shepherd’s pie and won’t give up.”
Isaac nods, jutting a finger in his direction.
“Of course, then. Can’t wait.”
The conversation continues, and you indulge a glance at Jamie to find him looking back at you, an inquisitive pull to his brows. Your eyebrows jump, trying to ask a question with only your features.
You pull your phone from your pocket and begin typing out a message for him when the topic somehow heads back to you.
“Hey, d’you end up going on that date?” Bumberbatch asks suddenly.
You blink. Jamie turns to him curiously. “What?”
“With the prick. You know. Coiffed hair, All puffed up.”
“Um.” You try very hard to not look at Jamie, who’s surely staring at you with wide, amused eyes. “Yes. Yes I did.”
“How’d it go?” Isaac urges. Your mouth is open with no certain words to comfort.
“Yeah. How’d the date with the prick go?” Jamie pipes up, sliced brow up. He’s awful. Truly, truly awful and he knows it.
You force a smile at him. “Not as bad as I thought.” The team mumbles in satisfaction but Jamie doesn’t give.
“Not as bad, huh?” Jamie repeats, lips thinning in thought. “I dunno.” He does a little shake of his head and licks his lips, meeting your eyes again. “Maybe it went a little better than that?”
You clear your throat, heat rising to your face though you try desperately to keep it down. 
Colin raises a brow. “Why would you say that?”
Jamie shrugs, unfairly unphased. “Just askin’.”
The attention moves off of you. You glare at him.
He smiles and, in the wake of a controversial argument between cartoons, winks at you. Your legs go weak.
-
You’re supposed to sit with the coaches during matches. Keeley had been upset at first and Rebecca sorry, offering a replacement medical professional for a game if you were so inclined to observe a game from the box seats, but you’d refused. Your place, although precarious with flying balls and the grandest source of stress, is kind to you. 
You sit behind Ted during matches. The back of his head is surprisingly comforting in the tensest points of a match, and you find you can catch the preliminary movements of his fingers when you’re nearby.
There isn’t much contorting you have to do to sprint into the field if you’re needed, and the seat itself isn’t too bad when you’re not. Also, you have a great view.
You’re close enough to feel the strength with which the players kick the ball, you’re part of the very exclusive audience to the coaches’ hope, and when he gets close enough, Jamie can hear your cheers for him very clearly.
You’re completely sure he can hear you now, shouting at the top of your lungs up front with the coaches, fists tight enough to shake. He speeds up with renewed energy, the ball a blur between fast legs and fake passes. You grasp Roy’s arm with everything in you and let your eyes move to the timer. Less than fifteen seconds to go and a tie glares in blocky red numbers.
Your fingers spark with something hot, curling tighter around Roy’s wrist when the ball is passed to Jamie.
The time goes by too slowly and the ball flies too fast, a defender slamming to the ground with his hands up as Jamie’s kick sends the ball into the net. The clock ticks for the last time. The arena erupts in sound and a combination of red and blue.
You scream, finally letting go of Roy to drag your hands to your face. Isaac and Dani embrace on the field, most of the others running toward Jamie but Jamie is sprinting toward you.
You realize too late what’s going on, too proud of Jamie, too dizzy on adrenaline and excitement to realize what’s about to happen and why it shouldn’t.
He comes up to you beaming, picking you up easily and spinning you around. You respond immediately, palms against his warm cheeks, lips pressing repeatedly against his forehead and then finally his lips. “You did so good,” you praise, hoping he can hear you even through the overwhelming noise. “I’m so proud of you.”
He grins, finally catching your lips and lowering you to the floor. It takes only two seconds for what happened to settle in. You can see it on his face, the exhilaration contorting into recognition. He finally looks away from you and gulps.
The stadium is still loud, but most of the team is looking at you, caught in differing positions of celebration. Ted stares at the both of you, jaw dropped.
“What do we do?” he whispers to you. “Do you think they’ll believe it if we say it was an accident?”
“No,” you respond just as quietly. “No, I don’t think so.”
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pandorasprongs · 11 months
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JAMIE TARTT | i'd be better armed if you agreed to take it.
PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 5.0k
SUMMARY: higgins' new assistant happens to be an old friend of the reader's, and their reunion hits jamie with major feelings of jealousy. when the team thinks that the pair of them are going on a date soon, jamie decides enough is enough.
WARNINGS: language
A/N: i actually like this story a lot better especially the dialogue! + jealous!jamie was really fun to write HAHAHA i hope that all of you enjoy this and title is from the song '(you) on my arm' by leith ross :) also i apologize in advance i'm not the best at writing kissing scenes
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You loved your job, truly. This was the first time you've had a decent, no, fucking amazing boss that didn't make you want to pull your hair out every time they called you into the office. 
But being Rebecca's assistant also meant that you sometimes had to help Higgins out with... well, whatever the Director of Football Operations does. It was fine in the beginning, just scheduling appointments and keeping track of ticket sales, but once Richmond got promoted, it felt like your work doubled.
It only took two weeks before you begged Rebecca to get Higgins an assistant of his own. Luckily, she obliged and asked Higgins to start interviewing possible candidates for the job. 
You hoped that whatever extra load you got due to Higgins occupying himself with selecting an assistant would be worth it from how much would be lifted off you when he did. So when you got the message from Rebecca to help delegate your duties to the new assistant, you practically ran to the clubhouse that morning.
You were too excited messaging your boss that you'd be there soon that you ended up bumping into someone near the entrance.
"Shit!" You exclaim as you almost lose your balance, but are steadied by the other person who turned out to be Jamie.
"Ay, watch where you're going, yeah?" Jamie warned casually, as he let go of your arms once you recovered.
"Sorry, Jamie." You straighten up and walk in with him. "I'm just really excited. Higgins finally picked an assistant and they're here today."
"Oh yeah, you were fucking drowning in work a few weeks ago." And by drowning, he meant it literally. The football player recalled seeing you walking past the locker room carrying a stack of papers taller than you were. You refused any help from the team, partly because they had to get to training and mainly because you didn't want them to see how the tear stains on some of the pages.
"Yeah," you chuckle at the memory. "But, after a few days of helping the new kid out, I'll finally be free." You stretch your arms up in the air and cheer. You were too busy celebrating to notice how soft Jamie's expression had become. 
He loved seeing you act yourself around him, a big jump from when you used to glare at him around the office. He had denied it for a while, but Jamie started to like you around the time he'd gotten back from Man City. 
You knew him before then, when he was a massive prick who stepped over — even literally at times, — his teammates. But after he returned, you felt bad for the guy for how the rest of the team was treating him, no matter if he deserved it. Ted had told you about what they talked about when Jamie approached him about joining the team again, and a part of you felt like he needed at least some kind of welcoming presence in the building. 
You started greeting him more often when you ran into each other in the halls and sometimes offered him the candies you keep in your desk drawer whenever he passed your desk, just small things. Jamie would usually just end up hanging out with you during his breaks because he didn’t have anyone else to spend it with. The first few times, he would just sit there in silence while you worked, but one “How’s your day going?” from you, and he was more than willing to chat.
Then, of course, he gradually regained the team’s trust and started hanging out with them, but even then, your little interactions with him didn't stop. He'd invite you whenever the team had a get-together and would sometimes drop bags of candies at your desk to "re-stock" your drawer. You just thought it was his way of returning your kindness. But what you didn't realize was that the star football player was starting to fall for you. 
Jamie tried to ignore it, saying to himself that he just felt indebted to you, but then it started to manifest in different ways. How he would try and come up with reasons to approach you the next day, how he'd get distracted whenever you had to visit the pitch during practice, and how your awkward habits became something he looked forward to. It's been a while since he felt like this about anyone and was more anxious about rejection than he's felt about any of his games, so he didn't make any obvious pass at you.
So now, as you asked the receptionist where the Director of Football Operations was, Jamie decided to wait for you to spend as much time with you as possible. 
You notice Jamie staying back and relayed the information to him. "Higgins is introducing them to the team, so I guess I'll be going with you to the locker room." You nudge him with your shoulder as you continue to walk through the building. You've always tried your best to ask casual with Jamie, possibly in an effort to make yourself feel normal around him and not constantly blushing every time he looked at you.
As you approach the room, you hear Higgins explaining what the new assistant would be doing for the players. "So if ever you need help with anything I've listed, you can go to Anthony Perez here, instead."
Anthony Perez. No fucking way. You and Jamie enter the locker room and are instantly greeted by the sight of an old friend.
"Anthony, you fucking bastard!" You scream enthusiastically, causing everyone in the room to turn to you, including Anthony. It takes him a second before registering who you were. The moment he does, he raises his arms and you practically leap into him for a hug.
"Oh my god!" Anthony exclaims, as he lets go of you and puts you down.
"I didn't know you were the new assistant!" You lightly smack his arm.
"I didn't know you even worked here!" He defends himself as the two of you turn to find the entire team's eyes on you, including Jamie's.
"Shit, sorry," You laugh as you make some distance between you and Anthony. "Didn't mean to make our reunion so dramatic."
"I assume you two know each other?" Higgins asks and you both nod.
"Anthony and I went to school together," You quickly explain. "From sixth form to uni. Of course, I haven't heard from him in two years." You jokingly glare, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Sorry, I got busy, okay?" He whispers an apology before you both chuckle again.
"Well, I hope your friendship will make it easier to help him get accustomed to the job." You smile at Higgins before the three of you excuse yourself to let the players get ready for training. 
You're so engrossed in catching up with Anthony that you didn't even notice the look Jamie was giving him. 
"They seem close!" Dani innocently says as he puts his shoes on.
"You don't think something is going on with them, do you?" Colin chimes in.
"Well, she's never even mentioned him before, so I doubt it," Sam argues, but Isaac shakes his head. "Nah bruv, that hug was way too intimate for just friends."
"I've seen her hug Keeley and Rebecca like that, too. That might just be how she greets her friends." Jan offers and the team continues to debate it, but at that point, Jamie has had enough. It was already shit having to watch that interaction, but having your teammates talk about it as you pretend not to care? It could not get any worse.
Jamie pulls out a can of body spray from his locker and slams it closed, before turning to everyone. "Can everyone just stop talking about it and get ready?" 
The room goes quiet, as the football player turns around and starts getting changed. The rest of the team exchange looks, before getting ready themselves. Most of them had a hunch that something was going on between the two of you but didn't have any proof, until now. They just hoped they were wrong about you and Anthony, in an attempt to stop Mt. Jamie from erupting.
——
For most players, if something happened right before training that put them in a sour mood, it would mess up their performance on the pitch. Of course, Jamie wasn't like most players. He might be playing even better during that training period. The coaches didn't even have to give him the signal; he was already in 'prick' mode. 
Maybe it was the appearance of Anthony or the fact that you had never been that excited to see him even though he thought you guys were becoming close, but he was playing aggressively and was much more focused than he needed to be for a practice game. The coaches started to take notice after he viciously tackled one of the second teams. 
"Whistle!" Roy shouts, pausing their game. Ted takes a step forward and shouts, "Hey Jamie! Love the passion, but those are still your teammates. Ya'll have a game next week, so better save that attitude for the real one."
"Okay, coach!" Jamie replies through gritted teeth. He takes a deep breath as they continue to play, trying to calm himself down. Ted was right; there was no point in taking out his anger here. Not when the source of said anger was just inside the building.
Once the morning session was over and they were off for lunch, Jamie headed over to Rebecca's office, expecting to see you waiting at the desk outside like you usually were, but instead, he almost runs into the owner of the football club.
"Jamie!" Rebecca exclaims, backing away from the football player to avoid a collision. "What brings you here?" He only needed to glance at the empty table for her to know what was going on. "Oh, well, if you're looking for her, better head to Mr. Higgins' office. She's helping his new assistant get used to the system." 
This causes the player's jaw to clench. Jamie mutters a quick thanks before heading to the Director of Football Operations' office, where he found you hunched over a chair and directing something on the laptop to Anthony.
You had spent the first hour of the day basically catching up with Anthony about what you've been doing the past few years. Once you ran out of stories though, you were forced to actually start teaching him what to do.
You started with the simple things like how to organize the emails, fixing the schedule, and what information to take note of, so you could ask your bosses' about it. Anthony's a quick learner, so you guys were making good progress. Once he practically mastered the routine, the two of you went to the clubhouse cafe to get some early lunch. Most of the food there was pre-packed and they’d usually just microwave it, but over the years, you've developed a fondness for them. You bring back the food to Higgins' office and continue to work on it till you hear someone clearing their throat.
You perk up when you realize who it came from. "Jamie! Hi, what're you doing here?"
Jamie's eyes bounce between the two of you, before settling on your own. "Well, I checked your desk but you weren't there, and Rebecca said you'd probably be here, so I went over here. And now I'm wondering if you wanted to get lunch?"
You move to say yes, but quickly back out when you remember the wrappers on the desk. "Oh, sorry Jamie, Anthony and I just ate something from the cafe cause we wanted to spend the lunchtime working on some emails. Maybe another time?" You try and hide the disappointment in your voice by giving Jamie a small smile.
Jamie's expression falters, but he quickly bounces back. "Sure, no problem. Bye," The football player waves at you — and just you, — before heading back downstairs. He shouldn't be acting like this. Feeling this dejected someone saying she can't have lunch with him?
You weren't fairing that well, either. Your shoulders slump once he disappears from view, then you turn back to Anthony who seems to be holding back a laugh. "What's with you?"
"Nothing, just amused at how even two years later, you still don't know how to talk to the guys you like."
You scoff at his response and hit his shoulder. "What do you mean? I do not like Jamie." You protest, which only causes Anthony to roll his eyes.
"Oh please, it's like you transformed back to a seventeen-year-old the way you got excited when he asked you to get lunch with him." You shake your head, but he continues. "It's clear as day that you have a crush on him."
“That word makes us sound like we're seventeen again," You retort, before redirecting the topic back to the task at hand.
But you knew he was right. Even back in the early days of working here, you couldn't deny that you found Jamie attractive. Anyone with eyes could see it, but he was dating Keeley and was a massive prick, so nothing ever came about from it.
Then, he started spending more time with you, checking up on you and stopping you in the halls just to chat. You realized that he was actually pretty sweet when he was off the pitch and you started to realize that you wanted to spend time with him, not just out of pity like before. Plus, you don't think he's seen anyone in a while, so there really was no reason for you to deny your feelings any longer.
Except, of course, the fear of getting rejected by him and ruining the steady and comfortable relationship you currently have. Which is a good reason, you think. You shake your head and try and continue your work in peace.
After spending your lunch writing up reports, it only took another hour to finish up both your and Anthony's duties, so the two of you update Higgins on your progress and ask if you could observe practice for a bit. He scans through your work, before happily letting the two of you go. The moment you get to the pitch, your eyes instantly look for Jamie who is doing pretty well, to no one's surprise. You join the coaches where they’re standing.
Anthony was already a big football fan, so he was able to recognize almost all of the players on the pitch. In fact, he was even saying things that you weren't aware of, despite your three years of working for the owner of a football club. He bends down to whisper a joke in your ear, but the amusement never hits because soon after, you hear O'Brien groaning in pain. You both look up to see Jamie already helping the goalkeeper up after kicking the ball right into his stomach. 
"Whistle! Tartt, stop fucking injuring your teammates!" Roy shouts, to which Jamie quickly apologizes. The practice game continues, but not without you leaning to ask Beard something.
"Coach, is Jamie okay? He seemed fine when I was with him earlier," You turn your head, as Beard continues to watch the practice.
"He's been playing like that all day. Something must've pissed him off." You open your mouth to say something, but Beard reads your mind. "No, we did not give him the signal." You nod before turning back to the game.
You meet Jamie's eyes as he runs across the pitch, and you take the opportunity to give him a smile and a thumbs up, hoping it encourages him somehow. He only nods his head in acknowledgment before continuing, but you can tell in the next few plays that he seems to be calming down. After a while, you and Anthony decide to head back to the office after Rebecca asks you to send some emails on her behalf.
Jamie watched the two of you head back to the building and tried to ignore that growing feeling when Anthony leaned down and rested his arm on your shoulders. He tries and shakes himself right before continuing the game, ignoring all the possibilities of why he’d do that.
The real reason was that Anthony had decided to tease you, whispering close, "Somebody likes you," in a sing-songy voice. "And his name is Jamie Tartt doo-doo-do-doo—"
That exact remark makes you jab his side. "Shut the fuck up, Anthony. He does not." Anthony lets it go as the two of you reach your desk and he leaves you to do your work, though you can't help but feel warm inside at the thought of it being true.
Once he gets changed after training, Jamie practically ran upstairs to find you. Usually, he'd offer to drive you home and before Anthony, you'd be too tired to be polite and say no. He stopped himself from sending a message to you once he realized that you had already left. Maybe she's with Anthony, but Jamie shakes his head because fuck that. Jamie Tartt does not get hung over a girl. At least, the old him didn't.
New Jamie had been starting to hope that you stayed in the office longer just so he could see you again, even if you would be busy doing work. He sighs as he decides to leave the building when someone jumps in front to scare him. "Boo!"
"Jesus fucking Christ," he exclaims and steps back before seeing you losing your mind over his reaction. "What'd you do that for?"
"I'm sorry," You apologize in between your laughing fits. "I didn't realize how easily startled you were." After a few more seconds, you finally straighten up and lift two plastic bags.
Jamie gives you a confused look, before you explain, "When we went to watch training, Coach Beard said you've been playing like that the whole day which can only mean one thing; you're in a shit mood. And you don't have to tell me why, but,"
You hand him one of the bags and one whiff tells Jamie it's from that Indian restaurant he loves. "I thought some dinner would cheer you up," Jamie gives you a genuine smile, one you got used to seeing but always love when it shows up. “Because there’s nothing rich people love more than free food.” You add, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Plus, I wanted to make up for not having lunch with you, and celebrate the fact that I now actually have the time to do this again." You continue as the two of you walk over to Jamie's car.
You get in the passenger seat as Jamie turns the car on. The two of you have shared dinner there multiple times before, so you practically had a system for it, and Jamie always "pays you back" by giving you a ride home. You open all the dishes and Jamie quickly starts to devour it.
The two of you enjoy the dinner in silence, — except for the occasional "Pass the pita," or something of the sort — till Jamie decides to ask the burning question that’s been on his mind. "So, how did you and Anthony get so close?" It was an innocent question, but one whose answer could either ease Jamie's thoughts or amplify them ten-fold.
You look up at him, mid-bite, and quickly swallow the food, before replying, "Well, you already know we went to school together, but we were actually seated next to each other for a whole semester, so naturally we became close since we saw each other every day."
Jamie starts to clean up the empty containers but signals you to continue. "To be honest, I kinda liked him back then." Oblivious to how tense Jamie just got, you laugh. "But the crush didn't last long honestly, cause I realized that he wasn't really my type." 
Jamie takes the opportunity. "What is your type, then?"
"Oh, hot footballers, naturally." You decide to give a somewhat honest answer, but cloak it in a layer of sarcasm to hopefully throw Jamie off. "Like Richard," You try and convince Jamie with your tone, but you can barely hold in your laughter afterward.
"Oh fuck off," Jamie rolls his eyes, causing you to laugh even harder. "I'm telling him that tomorrow."
"Jamie Tartt, you fucking wouldn't!" You spend the rest of the ride to your flat trying to get him to promise to say nothing, which ends with a pinky promise to secrecy.
The next few days are a mix of hanging out with Anthony, eating meals with Jamie, and finishing up work so you can spend the rest of the day chilling at your desk. You almost forgot what it felt like to have free time and actually relax during work breaks.
You arrive at the clubhouse and immediately head to the Coach's office as per Rebecca's instructions to deliver some documents for the season. There, you meet up with Anthony who also had to bring something to Ted.
When you realize the coach hasn't arrived yet, you decide to wait outside the locker room. Anthony turns to you. "Hey, I forgot to tell you yesterday, but Mina's visiting!" Mina was Anthony's girlfriend and also your former classmate, who once again, you haven't seen in two years. You perk up and ask when you’d get the chance to see her.
Anthony pulls out his phone before responding, "I can make a reservation for us somewhere at, 7 pm?" You quickly scan your mental to-do list and once you realize your schedule is free, you nod.
"Yeah, that works! We'll both be done with work, anyway." 
The two of you are busy planning out your meeting with Mina that you don't notice Isaac and Colin eavesdropping as they make their way to the locker room. From the snippet that they heard, it sounded like the two of you were planning a night out, confirming their suspicions that there was something going on between the two of you.
They share this with Sam, who tries to reason with them. "Friends can go out to dinner without it meaning anything!"
But as they continue discussing it, the more it becomes harder to deny. I mean, the two of you were always together and not to mention, your shared history. They try and hide this from Jamie, — partly to save themselves from the football player's wrath during training, — but once the morning session was over, they crowd him and quickly explain the situation.
At this moment, Jamie didn't even protest their assumption of his feelings — he had accepted that he wasn’t the best at hiding it from them, — and simply stayed silent, which was incredibly worrying. They decide to leave him be and walk back to their lockers, trying to figure out a game plan. They thought you and Jamie would be great together and a guy from your past was not going to stand in the way of their teammate finding someone, not if they have anything to do with it.
Soon after, Anthony enters the locker room and calls out to Sam. The pair walk away to talk and Anthony starts, "Do you happen to have an open table at Ola's tonight? I'm planning to take someone special there and I know how great the food is."
"Well," Sam considers saying that they're fully booked — which big chance, they are, — and there's nothing he could do, but his guilt at even the thought of lying takes over. "Sure, don't worry." Anthony smiles and thanked the player before heading out, but not before promising that he'd send him the proper details later.
Sam heads back to his two teammates and explains what happened, to which Isaac suggests booking the whole restaurant for the team, crashing their date, and making sure they have no alone time together. Colin adds that they can possibly put something in Anthony's food to force him to go home earlier, which Sam quickly shuts down. They turn to Jamie to get his input, only to find an empty bench instead.
Said teammate was already making his way to your desk to talk. Maybe it was the adrenaline from practice or the fact that he drank three cups of coffee this morning after Roy's training session, but he wasn't going to let you go on that date without saying something.
Jamie makes it up the stairs and finds you typing away at your computer. You meet his eyes for a second, before warning, "Hold on, I'm just finishing this email."
The football player decidedly ignores that statement and exclaims, "Don't go on that date." That gets you to save the email as a draft and look up from your screen. Jamie walks closer to you and you stand up, and steer him to a remote corner. If this was what you thought it was, you’d rather not have the entire office witness it go down.
"I'm sorry, what?" You try and clarify.
"Look, some of the boys told me that you and Anthony are going out tonight and I," Jamie takes a breath, "I couldn't let you go through with it. At least, without admitting that I like you. I have liked you for a while now. I didn’t realize that someone could be so sweet and funny and attractive. It’s fucking insane actually, which is why if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been trying to spend as much time with you as I can. And I know it’s stupid of me to not have admitted it till it’s too late, but if by chance you feel the same, then please do not go on that date and instead, maybe go on one with me?”
You take a step back. The guy who you've secretly been pining over for how many months at this point is now trying to stop you from going on a "date,” and so the only thing you can do is stare at him. You stay like that for a second before regaining your senses and taking his hand into yours and giving him a small smile. "Jamie…"
If there was any right time to admit your feelings, this would be it. You open your mouth to continue, but hear Anthony call out to you. You peek over the corner and when Anthony spots you, he quickly shouts, "Look who stopped by!" and moves to reveal Mina.
"Oh my god, you're here!" You exclaim, but turn back to Jamie who has stopped in his tracks and is still holding your hand. You quickly excuse yourself, "It's so nice to see you, but could you actually give me a minute?"
The couple gives you a curious look before Jamie peeks his head over the corner and Anthony immediately understands. The two of them go back downstairs, and you assume Anthony uses the time to explain to Mina what’s going on.
You turn back to Jamie, hoping that the moment isn't ruined, and find the football player still looking at you intently. You decide to get on with it. "Jamie, I don't know why the team thought we were going on a date, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. The girl you just saw is Anthony's girlfriend, Mina, who we also went to school with." Jamie makes an 'o' with his mouth in realization and you lightly chuckle at his expression.
"She's visiting him for the weekend and we're planning to go out to dinner, the three of us, to catch up. I'm basically going to be a third-wheel all night." At this point, Jamie's expression is a cross of embarrassment and anger, likely directed at his gossiping teammates.
Your mind replays Jamie’s confession earlier. "Jamie, did you mean what you said?" Your voice is practically a whisper, but you just have to be sure. "Like right before we got interrupted?"
Instead of giving you a solid answer, Jamie lets go of your hand and cups your face before connecting your lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss as if the football player was still hesitant, but once you reciprocated it, Jamie's confidence came right back. Fuck, and he had every right to be as cocky as he was. He was an amazing kisser.
You're pressed up against the wall, almost getting lost in it, but you break apart to stop it from escalating further when you feel Jamie's hand travel to your thigh.
"Is that enough of an answer for you?" He asks, resting his forehead against yours as you take hold of his forearms. You simply roll your eyes at how easily Jamie returns to his usual self.
You peak down the corridor and thank the universe that no one passed by during this. The two of you separate and decide to head back downstairs — with Jamie never letting go of your hand, — so you could properly greet Mina.
As you walked, you decide to jokingly question, "Were you really that worried about me going on a date that you had to go all rom-com and tell me not to go?" 
Jamie protests, "Well, it's more of the boys' fault, isn't it? They're the ones who got in my head." He pauses for a second. "And don't act like you never wanted something like that to happen to you."
You jab his side and Jamie pretends to be in pain, before laughing it off and slinging his arm on your shoulders. You wrap your arm around his torso. "Only if it's 'one in a million' Jamie Tartt doing it."
You finally find Anthony and Mina in the locker room, with the former introducing her to the players there as his girlfriend. Jamie enters to find the three culprits, looking guiltily at the couple. Minutes after Jamie left, Sam had gotten a text from Anthony saying that their reservation was for three and explained that you were coming along for a reunion dinner with his girlfriend.
The moment they see the two of you enter the room though, Colin, Isaac, and Sam can't help but share a satisfied look, only to be ruined by the glare Jamie sends their way. You laugh at the exchange and only remove yourself from Jamie to greet Mina. You give her a tight hug, confirming Jan's observation that you did greet most of your friends like that.
You pull Jamie towards you and introduce him to Mina, who shares the same teasing look as Anthony. The couple waves at the team to leave and get lunch together. They invite you to join them which you accept, but not before grabbing and squeezing Jamie's hand as a goodbye. The three of you walk away, discussing nearby cafes and restaurants. You hear some cheering from the locker room and you can't help but laugh at how easily the boys reconcile.
Once there's enough distance between yourself and the room, Anthony leans down. "Guess you finally figured out how to talk to boys."
"Who knew it would be Jamie fucking Tartt that managed to get you out of your shell?" Mina adds and you roll your eyes at the pair. They really were made for each other.
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wlntrsldler · 3 months
Text
f.u.c.k | jamie tartt
based on the song f.u.c.k by victoria monet
description: pure smut. no plot.
pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader
warnings: language-- it's ted lasso, what did ya expect?!; PinV! sex! smut! so dirty.
word count: 2.4K
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The first time you fucked Jamie Tartt was all lust. You’ve come to learn that there was something absolutely magnetic about him. Like once you’re within his vicinity, you are pulled towards him whether you want to be or not. You tried to fight it at first, unable to get rid of the idea of who he once was from your brain, but it was no use. The more you got to know Jamie, the easier it was to fall for him, to be so intoxicated from him. He consumed your thoughts. All kinds of thoughts.
It was Ted and Beard’s going away party. Rebecca rented out Bones & Honey entirely for the team and their guests. The early part of the night was wholesome. Players gave speeches about how their lives were changed because of the two Americans and wished the coaches a safe flight. There was a three-course Michelin-star menu and an assortment of expensive and classy wines. After the meal, the open bar was introduced. 
Bones & Honey was instantly transformed into a nightclub and it became far from innocent. You found yourself sitting at the bar, sipping on your drink, with Jamie Tartt whispering in your ear, so close to you that you could feel his body heat radiating off of him.
You’d had a few drinks. You were in a good place where you felt careless enough to speak your mind but sober enough to carry on a proper conversation and to know what you want, what you need. The music was so loud that you encouraged Jamie to lean in closer so you could hear him properly. He happily obliged. 
From where he was, your sweet perfume filled his senses. Your skin was a little damp from how hot the club was with all the dancing. Jamie had a hand sprawled across your lower back, not because you needed to be steadied but because he needed to touch you. As he pulled away from your ear, he couldn’t help but bite his bottom lip. Had he extended his neck just a little bit more, his lips would’ve brushed the skin of your neck. 
You placed your drink on the counter, turning the bar chair to face him directly. Your eyes roamed his figure– strong thighs on display with the slacks he wore that hugged his bottom half perfectly, arms so sculpted that you couldn't help but run your fingers over them, and his hands that would look so, so good on you. You couldn’t help but watch the veins of his tattooed arm as he flexed his hand. You let your eyes wander upwards, stopping at his plump lips. You forgot what the conversation was about. 
Jamie’s eyes trailed down your body, having to hold back a groan when he saw you press your thighs together. His hand slowly crept to touch your exposed knee, giving an experimental squeeze before he let his hand move up. He stopped at the hem of your dress, looking up at you once more. You had this look on your face like you were fucked out and he hadn’t even touched you yet, as if the sexual tension between the two of you was enough to get you off. Jamie flared his nostrils, his slacks getting tighter by the second. He leaned toward you again, “If you don’t stop looking at my lips without doin’ anythin’ about it, I will fucking take you right here on this counter in front of everyone.” 
You smirked, placing a hand over his own that was resting on your thigh. You opened your legs a tiny bit, guiding his hand near where you wanted him, but not quite letting him get there. You placed your other hand on the side of his face as you leaned closer, “You couldn’t handle me.” 
For a split second, he was taken aback, eyes blinking while your words sunk in. Then, he smirked, extending his thumb to lightly graze your mound. You sucked in a breath at the contact. Jamie pulled his hand away and hopped off the bar stool, extending his hand for you to take. You adjusted your dress and took him up on his offer. 
Jamie placed a hand on your back, ushering you out of the bar. As you were walking out the door, Jamie pulled your back to his front. You gasped at the sudden contact, feeling him against your leg. He wrapped an arm around your torso, mouth finding the skin behind your ear. He placed a soft kiss on it, so soft you didn’t know if you just imagined it. “You’re gonna regret saying that.” 
When you got to his flat, it was like you were both done with the months of pining, sexual tension, and secret touches. Jamie unlocked the door, pulled you inside, and then his mouth was on yours. He kicked the door closed and had his hands gripping you everywhere like you were going to disappear if he didn’t. You had your fingers tangled in his hair, gently tugging, making him moan into the kiss. Your mouths were reckless and messy, but so fucking hot against each other. 
He was the first to pull away from you, the last shred of logic he had left willed him to because then, he truly didn’t care if he needed to breathe to survive. At that moment, your lips on his own were more important than anything else. Jamie fumbled with the zipper on the back of your dress as he left sloppy kisses down your neck. He inhaled your scent, groaning, unable to stop himself from grinding his hips against yours. You sighed in pleasure, arching your back to press closer to him. 
When he detached from your neck, he looked at you with eyes that nearly had you sinking to your knees without question. His eyes were wide, lust clouding his irises so much that you couldn’t recognize the color they’d become. He was panting, lips raw and red from kissing you. You saw traces of your lipgloss lingering on the side of his mouth, twinkling sinfully under the lights. You ran your thumb across his lips, trying to wipe the remnants of your mouth away from it. Jamie captured it between his lips and sucked on it, his tongue licking a stripe up the pad of your thumb. He placed a soft kiss on it before you pulled it too far from him. 
“What I wouldn’t give to see this look on your face again,” he sighed, beginning to kiss down your body. He placed a kiss on your collarbone, “And again.”
A kiss to your chest as he peeled your dress down, leaving your top half exposed, “And again.” A kiss on your boobs, nipping and biting at the soft flesh. Your skin was on fire. “And again.” 
He continued this down to your stomach. Jamie was on his knees, looking up at you pleadingly. He looked wrecked. He pulled your dress down, running his fingers over your panties as if asking if it was okay. You responded by placing a leg on his shoulder. He shuddered, reaching down his pants to adjust himself. He whimpered at the contact before returning his focus to you. 
He moved your panties to the side, whining at the way your slick looked so inviting for him. Jamie licked up your cunt, moaning into you, enjoying your taste. His cock was leaking pre-cum and it was so fucking painful, but he wasn’t going to let this moment go to waste without tasting you, feeling you. Jamie’s eyes fluttered shut when your fingers found his hair again, tugging him closer to where you needed him the most. 
“Right there, Jamie,” you panted, chest heaving. “So good for me, baby.” 
Jamie didn’t know that he could get more turned on. He was rock hard already, but hearing the pet name roll off your tongue, sounding so fucking spent, with you withering above him, made his cock twitch in his pants. He clumsily undid his zipper, pushing his slacks down to relieve himself from its confines. Jamie brought his hand back up to you. His tattooed arm was pressing down on your stomach, trying to keep you still. His other hand joined his tongue, fingers dipping inside your cunt. 
You mewled at the feeling of his fingers inside you. There were so many things happening. It felt so good. He was knuckles deep, lips wrapped around your bud when you felt that familiar knot in your belly. You pulled on his head, trying to warn him about what was coming. You were trying to give him an out just in case he didn’t want to be there when the dam broke. 
Jamie pulled away, staring at you with his face glistening with your slick. “Give it to me, baby. Want it so bad.” 
When he went back down on you, it didn’t take much to have you screaming. You were blubbering above him, crying out his name as your orgasm turned your limbs to jello. Jamie could no longer hold off. He pumped his cock just enough to relieve the pressure, but not enough to cum. He couldn’t come in his hand. He needed to come inside you. 
You pulled him up to kiss him again, sighing into his mouth when you tasted yourself on him. He led you through his hallway, picking you up so you could wrap your legs around him as he carried you up the stairs to his bedroom. You pushed yourself on him, moaning when you felt his cock prod your pussy. Your soaked panties and his thin boxers were the only things separating you from each other. 
He dropped you on his bed, not once disconnecting your lips. Jamie was on top of you, hips rocking against yours. You were tugging down your underwear, whining when the cool air hit your center. Jamie tugged his boxers off shortly after you. He hissed in pleasure when the head of his dick touched your entrance. 
In his distracted state, you flipped the both of you over so you were on top. You got on your knees, placing your body in between his separated legs. He looked at you questioningly, his face ever so expressive. You arched your back so you were leaning onto him. You grabbed his dick, lightly stroking it. Jamie scrunched his eyes closed, taking in a breath as you took your time with him. He backed up so his back was on his bed frame and you hungrily followed him. He crossed his arms behind his head. 
Jamie’s heart nearly stopped when your tongue licked up the side of his cock. You wrapped your lips around his head briefly, “Been wantin’ to taste ya since forever ago.” 
“Yeah?” Jamie breathed out, unable to look away from you. He groaned when you took his cock in your mouth, your hand wrapping around the rest of him that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. He tucked your hair behind your ears, trying to stop himself from bucking his hips up, “Been wantin’ you like this for so long. Wanted to feel that perfect pussy.” 
You groaned at his words, continuing to suck him off. He was a moaning mess, panting, hands gripping the sheets beside him. He abruptly pulled you off his dick, mumbling something about wanting to finish in your pussy. You hummed, connecting your lips once more. As he hovered over you, you leaned up to whisper in his ear. “Next time, I want you to fuck my mouth so hard I lose my voice. Don’t hold back, baby. Want to taste you.” 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jamie groaned, stopping his movements. He dropped his head on your shoulder. His dick was poking your pussy, more than ready to feel you around it. “You’re going to be the death of me.” 
“Told you, you couldn’t handle me.” 
Jamie licked his lips, a twinkle in his eye. “Told you, you were goin’ to regret sayin’ that, love.” 
Jamie pushed into you with fervor. Your scream bounced off the walls, and the air in your lungs disappeared. He looked down at you, a moan escaping his lips at how utterly perfect you looked under him. Your nails clawed at his back, no doubt leaving marks on it. Jamie couldn’t feel it. All he could feel was the warmth and tightness of you. His brain was shortcircuiting. He met no resistance from your pussy. It was so inviting. It was like it was made just for him. 
No coherent words left your lips. All you could babble out was Jamie’s name. You forgot every word besides his name. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Like a fucking mantra. Like a prayer. 
“Baby,” Jamie whispered. “Baby, please,” 
Your eyes were rolling back as you felt your orgasm coming quickly. Jamie was begging for you to come with him. He was close, so close that his ears were ringing. He couldn’t think about anything else but chasing his high and feeling you come undone around his cock. He thrusted into you with a rhythm that had you sobbing. The pleasure was so intense. You felt so full. 
Jamie felt your pussy tighten around him and his arms nearly gave out. He held himself on top of you, continuing to push into your pussy. His fingers found your clit, rubbing it at the perfect pressure to bring you to your end. 
“Shit,” Jamie hissed, unable to stop himself from pounding into you. You yelled out his name when you came, your pussy constricting around him as you orgasm. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, spilling himself inside of you shortly after. 
You cradled his head against you as he tried to catch his breath. When he pulled out of you, an involuntary sound left your mouth, suddenly feeling empty. Jamie chuckled at your reaction and let his eyes trail down your body. He licked his lips at the sight of his cum spilling out of you. 
You rolled over on your side, reaching up to fix his hair, “So what’s the verdict, Tartt? Can you handle me?” 
Jamie laughed, wrapping an arm around you. He placed his lips on yours, softer and sweeter this time. There was no more urgency between the both of you. “I don’t think I can.” 
“Told you.” 
“But, I think I just have to build my stamina up,” He added, his hand making its way down to your ass. “So I just need to practice some more with you.”
You smacked him on the shoulder, throwing your head back in laughter, “You’re ridiculous.” 
He smiled at you, teasing, “Hey, you’re the one who said there was a next time.” 
“Mhm,” you mumbled, kissing him again, “There will definitely be a next time.” 
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claraswritings · 11 months
Text
Conversation
Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Reader
Warnings: spoilers for S1 and S2, miscommunication, (kind of) enemies to lovers, language, a few plot changes, mutual pining and one or two mentions of Jamie’s dad being a prick. Also I accidentally wrote something in this that is minorly similar to a scene in S3…but I wrote that bit AGES ago. Just signposting it as last time I didn’t someone got shitty with me
Notes: this is so much longer than I planned lmao so that explains why it took so long to post. Also not betad or spellchecked yet as it’s late here!
I don’t even know if I like this… I might delete this…
Title inspired by Conversation by Catfish and the Bottlemen
**
You’d been the player liaison officer at AFC Richmond for two years and for the most part, you loved your job. A lot of it involved what was referred to as “general life admin” for the players, as you sorted out everything from banks to home viewings to car collections to visas to schools for players with kids.
Most people would think looking out for a bunch of millionaire footballers would be a stressful job but you didn’t mind. The players had, for the most part, always been nice and you’d even started helping to show the new signings around, offering to recommend them restaurants or bars and you’d even become friendly with a few of them over the course of your time at the club.
Or at least until you encountered the clubs new loan signing. It had taken four weeks of his season long loan before you’d first spoken to him, and from the ten minutes he’d spent in your office, you’d gotten the same impression everyone did of him.
Jamie Tartt was undoubtedly the one of the biggest pricks you’d ever met .
Twenty minutes later than agreed, he’d sauntered in to your office, moaning about his teammates, discard the print offs of flats and houses you’d spent ages looking into for him, grabbed a card with the requested time and date of a collection of an Aston Martin you’d arranged for him without so much as a thank you, before asking if you could fix a modelling gig for him. With your arms folded across your chest, you’d firmly told him that was you were player liaison and not PR and that there was no way you’d be arranging his shirtless photoshoots or his latest perfume ad and he’d left with a comment about your job being “pointless” leaving your door wide open.
***
The next time you spoke to him was when he’d let a door swing in your face, as he stormed through the car park still furious after the loss to Crystal Palace. You held back from walking out as you could over hear him rant to the reporter from the Independent about…everything. An exclusive straight from the car park, Jamie Tartt was a journalists dream.
“Hey.” You caught up to him in the car park, “Talking to the press? Really?”
“Do I know you?” Jamie stared at you with a blank expression “Are you a fan? How did you get in here? You want a picture or something?”
“A fan? Of you? No. I work for the club. I’m the one that arranged your car, your flat, your VIP booth at the bar you’re off to. Most people say you’re welcome by the way.” You waved an arm in the direction of his sports car.
“Right.” Jamie continued to stare at you like you’d grown a second head before shrugging “Did you need something?”
Un-fucking-believable. In that moment, you’d never disliked him more.
You considered telling him how stupid it was to run his mouth off to the press, how much it would hurt his teammates, his manager, the fans to hear their star player dragging the club down but as you watched him chew his gum so casually, you realised he didn’t care and it was too late, and it was probably too late. Trent Crimm was already heading back to his car, statement no doubt being composed and ready for the morning papers but it was doubtful Jamie even registered anything other than himself and his massive ego. How could you possibly expect him to care about anyone else.
“Nothing. Doesn’t matter. Don’t think you’d understand it. Have a nice night.” You turned on your heel and were safe inside your own car before you finished the sentence “Prick.”
***
Ever since your little argument in the car park, you’d made it your absolute resolution to keep your contact with him to the bare minimum until the end of his loan when he’d become whatever poor player liaison officer Man City had.
You managed this pretty effectively being that he’d decided not to train until you’d received a call from your boss late into the evening one night asking you to come by the training ground. Usually a call in the evening was one of the new players wants a dinner reservation and didn’t know where to book or occasionally ordering a cab when one of the players had forgotten what hotel they were staying in the night before a game.
You absolutely not been expecting it to be ‘please can you swing by Colins and get his spare car keys…’ Nonetheless you’d agreed.
The scene unfolding before you when arrived the training ground was like something out of a fever dream. The players celebrating on the training pitch, a burning bin obviously a major part of whatever bonding exercise Coach Lasso had come up with. A scan of the field resulted no sign of Colin. You could see Dani Rojas, running around with Bumbercatch and Richard as if he hadn’t just been in the treatment room a mere 24 hours ago and Issac downing the last of a bottle of Mezcal back and forth with Richard whilst Ted and Beard watched on, laughing as Zoreaux choked on a swig of the liquor.
Nearest you and staring into the fire, beer bottle in hand, was the last person you wanted to see. Jamie Tartt. Of course it was. It would be so typical of your luck that it would be.
“Colin about?” You resolved yourself to asking him, wiggling your hand as the spare key jangled between your fingers. “Got to give him these.”
“Inside.” Jamie nodded “He’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Humming in acknowledgment, your eyes fell to the flaming bin and curiosity got the better of you and you had to ask “Do I want to ask how he lost his keys?”
“Burnt them in that.” Jamie gestured at the flames he was staring at. When you didn’t reply, his eyes found their way to yours and he explained the whole process.
“Oh.” You were surprised. “I didn’t think team bonding would have been your thing.”
Jamie hesitated. He couldn’t argue. You were right, he hadn’t been much of a team player
“I wasn’t gonna but…thought maybe I should show my face” he shrugged, hoping you wouldn’t question his bravado. He pointed at the fire. “Do you wanna throw something in? Everyone else has.”
“I think it’s already worked…” you gestured with your arm at the field. “but yeah why not?”
You thought for a moment… you hadn’t brought anything except your phone and your own keys which… you didn’t fancy throwing in. Unlike Colin you’d have to walk home and get your spare set and walk back to the car park, which wasn’t particularly appealing in the dark.
Suddenly an idea struck you, you unclipped your necklace and extended out your hand, letting it slip, dangling in your fingertips for a few seconds before dropping it. “Hopefully this helps with the luck.”
“You don’t need luck if I’m playing.” Jame replied, a smirk on his lips. You held off rolling your eyes at his cockiness. Sometimes you really didn’t get him. Mere seconds before you’d been having a semblance of a civil conversation and then he was right back to arrogant arsehole.
“What is it?” He questioned. It had to be the first time he’d asked you anything about yourself.
“Necklace. It was my nan’s… she…died when I was 15.”
“Oh shit sorry.” It was probably the most sincere you’d ever heard him. If it had came out of anyone else’s mouth, you might have bought it as genuine. “Wasnt like anything bad, was it?”
“It was a long time ago, she was sick for a long time and…” you stopped yourself suddenly aware that this was Jamie Tartt you were talking to and any minute now, he’d probably resume his usual self centred personality. “Sorry, long story short, she passed away a while ago but… I don’t think she’d mind. Grandad was a Richmond fan.”
“What did you…put in?” you asked, swiftly changing the subject. You were half expecting the answer to be his little black book of desperate instagram girls or some signed picture of himself from one of his many magazine photoshoots. It would after all be completely on-brand for him.
“Erm…football boots, ones my mum got me. She got me into playing…” he said it trying to be casual and keep his cool. “She just wants me to enjoy playing yeah? So good motivation and that”
“I’m sure she’d be really happy for you, Jamie.” You looked over to where Colin was remerging back from the building looking extremely relived to see you. “I have to go give these to Colin. It’s why I was called out here in the first place. Have a good night.”
Truth be told, you were a little skeptical. Of both the ritual and of Jamie showing an interest in anyone else other than himself but you figured if the whole team had given the ritual a chance, maybe just maybe, Jamie Tartt had developed the capacity to care about other people.
You found out the next morning that he was on his way back to Man City when you’d received an email from his agent asking you to arrange termination of his house rental agreement
***short time skip***
When your doorbell had gone off late into Saturday afternoon a few weeks later, Jamie Tartt had been the last person you expected to see.
“Richmond said you had the stuff from my locker.” He said, leaning instantly on the door frame as soon as you answered without so much as a hello. “Said you was going to send it to the guy who does whatever it is you do at City but I called Issac, Jeff and Keeley and they’re all busy so thought come get it. Nothing better to do.”
A house visit hadn’t been on the agenda but you figured it was marginally less awkward than him swinging by the training ground so you’d taken it and had been talking to the player liaison officer at City making arrangements to send it up.
“Well I’m flattered to be your fourth choice. Coincidentally probably your first words to Pep.” You couldn’t resist the dig. Ever since he’d left, Richmond had struggled but being that he was now Man City’s problem you didn’t have to mince your words.
“Yeah well, I’ll be first choice soon. Scored today didn’t I…,” he clicked his tongue and gestured at himself. “Best goal of the match as well.”
“Wouldn’t know. I was watching Richmond.” You folded one arm over the other. A part of you enjoyed the flicker of surprise that crossed his face, but you gave him a tight smile as a somewhat attempt to be civil.
“Heard old man Roy scored yesterday. Must have taken it out of him.” Jamie rested back on the heels of his expensive trainers “Bet he’s gonna be in that ice bath for hours.”
You ignored the dig at the Richmond captain “Had the game of his life actually…like someone turned back the clock. Heard from Sam that Nate had some real words of wisdom.”
“Nate? Nathan? The kitman?” Jamie’s eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you in shock. “We thinking of the same guy? Him!?”
You laughed, knowing that the idea of Nate who always seemed so unassuming and quiet giving Roy Kent, footballing legend, a piece of his mind was crazy. If you’d heard it from anyone other than Sam, you’d probably have thought it was an elaborate joke.
“Apparently so.”
“Fucking hell.” His eyebrows shot up “Kinda wish I’d seen the old man’s reaction.”
“Yeah well…you weren’t…I’ll get your stuff. Probably a bit weird for you…being at a woman’s door when you haven’t slept with her.” You tapped on the door and grimaced. You knew the team would miss Jamie for his ability on the pitch.
Jamie shrugged, before he was distracted by his reflection in the window. He adjusted a stray hair then slowly turned back as of pulling his gaze away from himself was particularly tough “You would though wouldn’t you?”
A singular laugh left your throat coming out harshly. “No. Nothing personal…Zoolander” you paused as you realised that wasn’t completely honest. “Well its a little personal…but…I don’t date footballers. Went out with one once. Played for another club. Was at my friends for a weekend. He slept with six other women in two days.”
Jamie pursed his lips and let out a low whistle almost like he was impressed.
“What’s that…Rookie numbers for you?” You called over your shoulder as you stepped to the side of the door to pick up the box that had been sitting in your hallway for the past week and a half.
“Nah…even I’m not that bad” He clicked his tongue and winked “Most of the time.”
“How lovely.” You deadpanned turning back to him. “Suppose you slow down once you run out of every woman in SW16?”
Jamie looked you up and down “You always like this? All Cruella DeVille and that”
Ignoring his playground like insult, you moved one hand back to the door handle, the box balanced on your hip with the other. You were hoping you’d be able to close the door quickly and force him to go off elsewhere. “You left my club, I’m allowed to be a little mean to you.”
“Lasso sent me back. Said he didn’t need me but obviously he does though cause you were losing until today” A cocky smirk on his face, he pointed at himself “Could have used me in those other games.”
“What?” You frowned, eyebrows knotting in the centre. “What are you on about?… of course we needed you. You’re a fucking twat but you’re good. Why wouldn’t he want you in the team” You didn’t like paying him a compliment but you felt it was the only way to get a reasonable conversation out of him
Jamie almost rolled his eyes and you were unsure if it was because he thought you were stating the obvious or saying something stupid.
Noticing Jamie’s childish reaction, you called him out.
“Ted’s a really nice guy, you know. Maybe cut him a little slack?”
Ted had always been friendly to you. Giving you a good morning when he arrived and a good evening with a bright smile when he left and even talking to you about favourite books when he’d brought ones in for the team. If you offered help with setting things up, he would always tell you not to worry and he’d sort anything out himself… More often than not he was back at your office with 15minutes talking a lot about how different things were to Kansas and asking for help.
Despite being new to the sport, never mind the Premier League, Ted was at least trying. It somewhat bothered you that Jamie seemed so intent on being disrespectful.
“Knows fuck all about football though.”
“And you know fuck all about how to talk to people. Maybe you could have learnt from each other.” You snapped back before you could stop yourself. “Just an idea. It’s how adults talk.”
Feeling the exasperation levels rise and wondering how you’d even gotten this far into a conversation with him, you tossed the box of his stuff in to his arms and he managed to steady it despite being caught slightly off guard.
“Goodbye Jamie. See you next season”
And with that you slammed the door shut forcibly before he could reply.
*** time skip***
“I’m just going to get a drink, you want one?”
You offered to your friend and her boyfriend, as you slid out of your booth. Truth be told, you didn’t need another drink, you just wanted to escape for a few moments and work out if it had been this loud when you were a Uni student or if you’d just become accustomed to pubs over clubs in the years since you’d left.
With the team settled into the season, and the new signings all set up, you decided to take a week off to go visit some old friends in Manchester and against your better judgement you’d been dragged to a bar by your friend and her boyfriend.
In response your friend waved her half full, bright blue cocktail, letting you know she was good for now and you made your way across the dance floor and up to the bar, ordering the strongest cocktail on the menu not paying much attention to what was in it.
You’d only just picked up your drink when you heard it. The familiar voice causing you to whip around so quickly that you were impressed you didn’t spill anything.
“[Name]? That you?”
“Jamie Tartt.” You replied, as you took a long drink of the freshly replenished cocktail “Nice to see you.”
You were, of course, being sarcastic. You didn’t try to hide it this time. You didn’t have to. The last time you’d seen him, he’d been assisting in the game that sent Richmond down. Well… that and when your friends had sent you numerous clips of him making an arse out himself on Lust Conquers All and asking you if he really was that much of a twat in real life, to which you’d reply no, he was actually a bigger twat.
“How come you’re in Manchester?” He asked, catching you off guard. Jamie had never cared about seeing you, let alone it being ‘good to’ and now here he was making small talk like you were old friends.
“I’m visiting friends from when I lived here.” You told him keeping your answer short “Look if you want someone to sort out some private booth for you, firstly I’m on holiday and secondly I work for Richmond…you don’t…so…” you paused and gazed around the busy bar, looking for someone to pass Jamie on to “ask the barman.”
“You lived in Manchester?” Jamie tilted his head, genuine surprise crossed his features, as if you’d been withholding some crucial information. “I’m from here.”
“I know you are…“ you took another long drink, feeling like you’d need it if you were about to have another frustrating conversation as your patience was slowly slipping away. He’d completely ignored your previous statement and carried on with the small talk he’d never shown any need for before “What do you need Jamie?”
Jamie looked stunned. “I didn’t know you lived in Manchester. How come you never said?” He replied with a question in response.
“It’s a big city Jamie. You never asked me about myself, surprised you even remembered my name. You don’t need to feign interest in me. Just tell me what you want.” Patience now completely gone and just keen for him to get to the point, you downed the last of your drink and turned to place it back on the bar, only just missing the slight look of guilt he gave you.
“I just, um,” Jamie hesitated, unsure as to how to start, he bit his lip. There was no way he could just come out with it.
He’d tried Keeley but she’d told him to talk to Ted which… he really didn’t want to do. He knew he’d have to eventually but he didn’t want to have to ask especially after how they’d left things in person. Jamie knew from the tiny army man and note that Ted held no resentment but approaching him was a completely different ask so he’d headed back to his mums in Manchester first to weigh up his options.
He considered messaging one of the team but knew after his assist to send Richmond down, they likely would not want to speak to him…so he went through the staff- Kitman Will was a no go, Nate an even bigger no, he didn’t even think he had his number. Jamie went through a few of the back room staff before the thought of you crossed his mind and he felt like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner.
You fixed everything. Player needed a mechanic, you had one around within an hour, one of the coaches needed a caterer, you could arrange it, any player needed schools for their kids, you had uniforms by the end of the day. It was, at least to Jamie, like you could fix any problem…so hoping you could fix his big one, he looked you up on instagram and seeing that you’d posted only two hours ago, he clicked to view.
You were laughing and clinking glasses with another girl and a guy and had placed a tag in the corner indicating what bar you were in. Jamie could barely believe his luck when he clicked on it; as if by chance, as if this was confirmation that he had to talk to you, the tag showed as a bar only fifteen minutes away. He’d left within five. He didn’t know why you were here in his home city but to Jamie it felt like a sign so he’d threw on a coat and headed out to find you.
“It’s nice to see you Jamie but if you’ve got nothing to say, I really need to get back to my friend.” It was a small lie, you could not have cared less about running into him.
“Wait.” He protested, reaching for your arm before pulling back, barely grazing you. “Can we have a drink or something?”
“I’m not a waitress Jamie. If you want a drink, you’ll have to get one yourself like a big boy.”
From the vacant expression that had taken over, he clearly no idea what you were talking about and was waiting for you to fill in the blanks.
“It was a joke. At the charity event, you gave me twenty quid and told me to get you a drink. I told you I wasn’t a waitress and you said ‘same thing’… then I took the £20 and used it for my taxi home… you obviously don’t remember.”
Jamie felt discomfort twist in his chest as he averted his eyes to the ground for a few seconds. Had he really said that? You said it so casually like it was normal.
“Look…please can I just talk you? I’ll…pay for your drinks.” He attempted a peace offering, only for you to wince.
“I can get my own drinks.” You stated bluntly, with a half hearted smile. “I’ll see you later, I’d say good luck for this season but Caths a United fan”
“I’m sorry…uh, I fucked it alright? I don’t…City don’t want me back.” Jamie slid in front of you quickly to try slow your move to the table down. “And I didn’t win Lust Conquers All…”
“I’m sorry to hear you didn’t win your show. Maybe there’s another you can rate strippers on or something.”
“It’s all I’m actually any good at.” His voice was far more subdued, far more quiet than you’d heard him before so much so you would have missed it if it wasn’t said in a seconds pause between songs.
“Rating strippers?” You made a joke, lips twisting up as you raised an eyebrow. However Jamie in response still looked deadly serious, so much so that something inside made your resolve falter. It was not like Jamie Tartt to be remotely serious.
You sighed, eyes skimming over the room to your friend, who was trying to wave you over with a questioning look on her face. Holding up a few fingers, you indicated to her you’d only be two minutes. She shrugged and went back to whatever conversation she was having with her boyfriend.
“Please.” He asked once more and you knew would kick yourself if this turned out to be an act. “I swear down I’m being serious”
You glanced back at Jamie who looked so utterly defeated, in a way you’d never seen him. He looked a million miles away from that cocky, arrogant guy you’d seen last time.
“Fine. We can talk but… outside…” you threw your hand up and jerked your thumb at the door. “I’ll meet you out there. I need to let my friend know I’m leaving.”
**
The cold air hit you suddenly as you stepped out of the busy bar, squeezing by a hen do and heading down the stairs. Jamie was already waiting outside, shifting from one foot to the other, looking even more on edge that he had done inside. Having seen his adverts, you knew he was not that good of an actor, whatever was going on it had to be at least a little bit real.
“Alright. I’m all ears.” You stated as you reached the bottom.
Jamie found himself talking and talking to you as you walked through the city without any real direction. You asked the occasional question but besides that you were mostly just listening. He was stalling, putting off asking you for help by just relaying the drama between leaving City and being voted off the show. You could tell there was something else. There was no way he’d drag you, someone he barely knew, barely liked, out into the city streets to question the voting public for picking some guy called Danthony over him.
“They offered me a reality show…when I got kicked off but I’d have to do ecstasy and shit and…” Jamie trailed off, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his designer puffer jacket. “Didn’t want that.”
“Drugs too far?” You joked, not wanting to show that you were actually pleasantly surprised that he had a limit as to what he’d do for fame. His eyes caught yours and he shook his head.
There was a beat, a few seconds of only the city sounds, you spoke again, your voice and your eyes more sympathetic this time. “I’m glad you didn’t take it. It would be a waste of your actual talent if you did. You’re way too good at football to piss it all away for some shit show…Why did you leave City anyway? Thought you had it all worked out? And be honest with me, I’m not thick, I’ll know.”
Jamie caught your eye, your gaze on him was questioning, but not in the demanding, scrutinising way he was so used to. You were looking at him in such a way, If you didn’t hate him, Jamie could almost convince himself you were asking because you cared. The slight softening of your look on him made him drop what was remaining of his facade and tell you the truth. “I thought it’d piss off my dad.”
“Ah,” the sound was small, “Is your dad…?”
“A prick?” Jamie stated bluntly before you could finish “Yeah. On me all the time, over everything. Always has been. Always got something to fucking say. Got sick of it. I know it’s stupid but…”
“It’s not stupid…well it was a stupid thing to do…” you pulled your coat tighter against the wind. “but you’re not stupid. I understand. I think most people would. I’m sorry your dads an arsehole.”
“Thanks” He commented with a tight face as you rounded the corner. “But I’m used to it”
“You shouldn’t have to be.”
You stopped as he could see your hotel lit up ahead on the street you were now walking down and somehow you’d ended up back where you were staying and you felt a little bit sorry to leave him. A small, tiny part of you thought about inviting him up and offering to continue the conversation but this was Jamie and you had a feeling he would definitely get the wrong idea.
“Erm… this… this is me.” You tilted your head up ahead at the hotel door “Thank you for walking me back Jamie. Even if you didn’t mean to.”
“Do you think Richmond would have me back?” Jamie asked quickly, fearing he’d lose his chance at getting out what had been lingering on his mind since he’d walked out of the meeting with his agent. “I could really really use Richmond now. And I think Richmond need me?” He gave you a tweak of a smile, more hopeful than arrogant.
Ah of course. That was it. He did need something after all. Despite this, you didn’t feel any resentment, you actually felt a little bit bad for him. Jamie had been a first class twat but he also seemed to be genuinely trying to reach out.
You gave him an apologetic smile. “Look, I wish I could help but…you’ll have to talk to Ted. I don’t have any say it in. I can give him a heads up but at the end of the day, he’s the manager, Jamie.”
“Yeah. Keeley said the same thing.” He looked dejected, reluctant even. “Don’t know why I thought you’d say anything else.” He dragged one of his expensive trainers against the concrete pavement and you winced at thinking how they probably cost a substantial chunk of your wages.
“I’m not surprised. She’s smart, makes me wonder why she went out with you.” You took the opportunity to lightly tease him although kept your tone completely deadpan.
“Oi come on! I’m being nice!” Jamie’s head shot up, ready to protest until he could see you were smiling and his shoulders loosened.
“I know I’m messing with you.” You replied “but seriously Talk to Ted. He’s usually at The Crown and Anchor. He’s a nice guy, Jamie. Give him a chance.”
“Fine. Thanks.” Jamie shrugged, looking like he’d rather do anything else. “If it works, can I have my old house back?”
“I’ll sort something…Goodnight Jamie.”You reached over and squeezed his arm “and good luck.”
***
Jamie’s reintegration was not going as smoothly as he’d hoped. With the rest of the team being somewhat reluctant to forgive his attitude from his last spell in at the club, Jamie was now getting the cold shoulder.
“Shit!” You jumped when you walked into you office. “How long have you been here? How did you get in?”
“No one likes me.” Jamie muttered from the spare chair opposite your desk. He didn’t answer your question but from the lost look on his face you didn’t feel like pushing it. He was slouched so far over your desk, he was practically lying on it, training jacket pulled up over his face and his chin in his hand
“Can’t say I blame them. You were kind of an arsehole last time you were here.” You placed your bag on the spot on the desk not occupied by Jamie.
“But like I’m actually trying and they’re… are all being dickheads about it.” He sat up suddenly, throwing his arms back as he slumped back into the chair.
“Again I don’t blame them.”
“Colin said I was the worm now.”
You cocked your head confused “I’m not going to ask…but I probably don’t blame him”
“Even the new lads giving me stick”
“Yeah, word travels, you’re… kinda infamous here now”
“Yeah I know…” Jamie clicked his tongue as if you were stating the obvious “but why do they hate me… when I’m trying?” He held out his hands and looked over at you, waiting for your clarification.
“Jamie. You got us relegated, you were a bad team mate and a bit of a shit…”
“Alright, alright.” Jamie shrugged “just you’re the only one whose nice to me…except maybe Ted but he don’t count he’s nice to everyone and Keeley but she’s my ex ain’t she? How can I make them like me? Get them all something?”
“It’ll take time Jamie… you can’t just make it up to them with gifts…”
Deciding you had to do to something to distract him, you lifted your bag up from the desk again and gestured for him to stand up which he did so reluctantly.
“Right okay, get your keys…I’m not having you moping around my office…let’s go for a walk or a drive or whatever and talk. It’ll help. I promise”
**
It quickly became a regular, daily thing. Jamie would come to your office as soon as the on field training was done. The rest of the team would head into the gym and he’d come wait in your office or out for coffee until most of the others had left and then he’d slip down to the gym to train alone.
You’d were slowly softening to him. He’d even started opening up a bit more, slowly elaborating day by day until he was talking more openly to you than you’d ever thought. Underneath all the cocky bravado, Jamie was a sweet, funny, guy who’d just fallen into the trap of thinking arrogance was a shield against anything the world could throw at him. You liked this side of him far far more and you couldn’t help yourself but think if he’d always been like this, like he was now, you’d have been friends a long time ago.
You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing when Jamie told you about Ted’s alter ego act. Even more so that he was completely straight faced when relaying how weird it was. You could guess what Ted was doing, but Jamie seemed so serious he had you in stitches.
“Oh and I, erm, I spoke to the, the therapist lady…Doctor Sharon.” Jamie slipped in quickly, before he could change his mind over telling you. His eyes quickly shot over your shoulder to the aerial photograph of Nelson Road that decorated the wall behind your desk and focused hard on it as he waited for your response.
Jamie had no reason to doubt you’d be supportive but still he could have sworn the few seconds it took for you to reply was actually an hour. He worried in those few seconds that he’d overstepped the mark and made you uncomfortable with an over share or that you’d kick him out.
You couldn’t believed Jamie had just spent fifteen minutes ranting about ‘Led Tasso’ and completely neglected to mention that he’d spoken to the new therapist.
“Jamie…why didn’t you tell me!” You exclaimed, nearly knocking over the Richmond mug on your desk over your laptop. “That’s great!”
“Dunno” Jamie managed to drop his stare from the wall to you and shrugged “I erm, didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Keeley dragged me up there and I thought might aswell. Nothing better do to.”
“Course its worth mentioning. Getting help is the best thing you can do… it’s hard to take that first step and reach out. I’m proud of you.”
“Really?” For a second Jamie wondered if he’d hallucinated. He hadn’t heard that. Not those words in that order from anyone in a long time and Jamie liked the thought of you, of all people, being proud of him.
“Yeah! Going…and actually talking to a professional? That’s amazing! Did it help?”
Jamie let your response sink in before he nodded “Uh yeah I think so, spoke to her about like my dad and stuff. She’s really good.” He scratched his cheek quickly before dropping his hands to the table.
“It’s great, everything you’re doing. It’ll take time… but I’m just so happy you’re reaching out.” You leant over the desk and placed your hand over his and gave it a squeeze “you know you’ve always got me but talking to a professional is the best thing for you.” The second you’d retracted Jamie missed the reassurance provided by the warm contact.
“Knock knock” a voice called from the doorframe interrupting and Jamie felt his heart drop as one of his teammates stuck his head around “Hello!”
“Jan! Hi!” You beamed at him, getting up from your desk as Jamie tried not to let his disappointment show at the interruption. “Come in!”
“You ready? You’re always packed up early and ready to go so I thought I would come see” Jan slipped around the door and raised his eyebrows staring at your desk which, as he’d guessed, was already pretty much clear for the day. “Usually in the last hour you don’t do any work.”
You rolled your eyes at his assessment but didn’t protest. You very rarely got anything done in the last hour so tended to scroll on your phone, clear up and wait until you could leave.
“Alright?” Jamie attempted to greet the other man “Is anyone down in the gym, mate?”
Jan shook his head no, not conversing with the other man any more than needed and waited for Jamie to stand up and make his way to the door, stepping aside to let him leave.
“Um, thanks [Name], I’ll see you later yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll come see you later.” You offered “We can go to that restaurant for dinner. The Indian one I was telling you about the other day?”
Jamie nodded and shut the door quickly suddenly all too aware of his teammate watching him.
***
“Why are you friends with him?” Jan asked pointedly as you left the room a few minutes later and made your way to the car park.
“Jamie’s really trying. Trust me last season he would not have even acknowledged me” you laughed and pointed at yourself.
“I don’t like him.” Jan said, looking like you’d posed some sort of serious question before he offered you a sweet from the bag he was holding out “Left you the red ones.” He glanced back into the bag “Well most of them!”
“Be nice!” You jokingly punched his arm before thanking him for leaving your favourites “Jamie’s trying not be a twat…but It’s hard for him. He’s had years of practice.”
Jamie watched you’d leave with the centre back from the open gym door. From your hushed voice, you were doing your best to keep quiet so he wouldn’t overhear but the ‘he wouldn’t have acknowledged me’ stung. Deep down he knew it was true, he hadn’t been nice to you, and you were understandably cold to him.
He’d find himself worried, wondering if you were with Jan, what if you no longer had time for him, what if he lost the one real friend he had. Although if Jamie was honest with himself, he’d liked you as more than a friend for a while.
A few days into his return to Richmond, he’d been unable to sleep. Worrying that the team hated him, would always hate him, was he this pathetic failure his dad said he was, would he ever be considered a talented footballer again or would he always just be a joke who put his ‘brand’ first.
He realised he’d didn’t want to call his anyone except you. He wanted to talk to you. You’d answered on the fourth ring and if you were annoyed at being woken at 1am, you didn’t sound it. You’d been concerned, asking if he was in trouble.
“No…I can’t sleep.” Jamie had said, almost ashamed to say anything more. He worried you’d think it was pathetic, a weak reasoning for calling, but at the same time hoped you’d pick up on the something left unsaid.
You did. “I know what you mean” you’d spoken, sleepily “you want a distraction? I can read to you if you like. My books so boring, you’ll fall asleep.”
Jamie had laughed and accepted your offer and settled in as you’d started to read some story.
When he woke the next morning, you were still on the other end of the phone. You were already awake but you must have stayed on the call with him.
‘Just in case’ you’d told him, the corner of your cheek twitching on one side.
It was the single most simple, caring gesture but it cemented it. In that moment he knew he was gone. You just knew him. When he needed to laugh, when he needed to talk and when he just wanted a distraction. (You’d never tell him how easy it was for you to tell).
The next time, hed offered to return the favour he’d read you the book Coach Lasso had bought him. He’d been reluctant at first but you’d persuaded him, encouraging him a little bit at a time and before you knew it, he’d read it cover to cover.
You were just a kind person, he told himself. You were like that with everyone. He’d see you excitedly trying some Nigerian food Sam brought in or attempt to speak Spanish to Dani, who would be thrilled and offer to teach you, he’d see you talk to Keeley, usually showing each other something on your phones and giggling.
Jamie would find himself analysing every conversation you’d had with him, where you like that with other people and for signs that maybe your feelings were mutual. He would run over everything in his head as he ran on the treadmill or worked on presses so much so that by the time he’d decided to just keep quiet, as he did every day, he’d have done several miles or lost count of the amount of presses he’d done.
Fuck it there was no way he could tell you. You were happy and you were his friend and he’d rather have you in his life as his friend than not at all.
***short time skip***
When Jamie had came into your office in a panic on Christmas Eve, asking you if you’d ever cooked a Christmas dinner and begging for you to help him cook one for his mum who would be visiting, you’d agreed against your better judgement. You’d cooked Christmas dinner twice. Once at University and once when your mum had a migraine and you had to finish off and now you were in Jamie’s house on Christmas Day making what he’d bought from M&S two days before into a Christmas dinner.
“I’m surprised you asked me. I thought you’d be inundated with offers.” You said, only half joking as you turned the parsnips in their tray. Jamie who was mulching the cranberries for the sauce like his life depended on it, just shrugged and muttered a ‘not really’. He wished he’d asked you to actually spend Christmas with him properly and not to do him a favour but doing so now would seem last minute and you’d already told him you were dropping in to the Higgins later.
As if on cue, your phone beeped from across the room and you swung the dish towel over your shoulder, not noticing Jamie staring as you flicked up to read Jan’s Whatsapp, watching your face for any signs. Trying to see if you’d added any little hearts next to his name or if you replied to him with twice as many X’s as you gave anyone else.
Ever since Jamie had realised he’d fallen for you, he’d became somewhat obsessed with trying to work out what was going on between you and his teammate. He’d never ask Jan directly. Having been on the receiving end of one of Jan’s blunt comments, Jamie didn’t want to risk hearing something he didn’t want to. With the team still giving him the cold shoulder more often than not, he considered asking Keeley. He’d seen you and her talking sometimes and wondered if it would be weird to ask his ex before realising if he did ask Keeley anything, there was the risk that Roy Kent would overhear and Jamie couldn’t imagine anything more embarrassing.
“Richard brought a girl to the Higgins’ party.“ you laughed, letting Jamie know what was happening “Jan just told me.”
“Of course he did” Jamie laughed “Not surprised. He’d bring a girl to training if thought he’d get away with it.”
“Thought that would have been you?” You teased back only to get an eye roll and elbow nudge in response.
After a few minutes, you walked around his kitchen to check the table was set and were surprised to see he’d done a decent job of it.
“I think you’re all set. I promise you can take all the credit. You just need to take the turkey out when she gets here and put the Yorkshires in. They’ll be done quickly so don’t burn them. Desserts are in the fridge.”
Jamie looked a little reluctant and you had to admit the idea of a footballer who regularly played in front of thousands of people being nervous about presenting a Christmas dinner to his mum was a little funny.
“It’ll be good. Trust me…oh wait!” Your face lit up as you suddenly remembered “I have a present for you!” Before he had the chance to respond you’d dashed out into the hall, retrieved the gift from beside where you left your coat and returned back and pushed it into his hands.
After making a show of rattling it to try sense what was inside, Jamie unwrapped it carefully. Your eyes focused in on his face looking for any sign, hoping he liked the gift and you’d hadn’t made things weird.
In the box was a pair of his boots, the same brand his mum had got him, like his first pair. Jamie lifted them out carefully, and turned them over in his hand to see them.
“They’re obviously not the exact pair but they’re customs, I asked Sam what brand they were and they don’t do the exact ones anymore but I found some guy online and…they’re pretty much the same…If you can’t wear them for games because of sponsorships or whatever, you can maybe use them for training or you can return them, i won’t be offended, I just…”
“Thank you.” Jamie was quiet, staring down at the boots before his eyes turned on you “this is the nicest present anyone has ever given me. I, um… thank you.” He repeated finding himself rendered somewhat speechless at what thought you’d put in and how you were clearly worried he wouldn’t like it.
“It’s nothing. I just wanted to do something for you…”
“It’s not nothing, I actually do really like them and I’m definitely wearing them. Next game. Thank you.” Jamie paused, his head was only filled with thoughts of how much he wanted to kiss you here in his kitchen, how much he wanted to ask you to stay with him, to spend the rest of the day with him, eating Christmas dinner with his mum and sharing the big box of Roses chocolates and watching any Christmas special just because and then dancing to whatever Christmas song came on, late into the evening.
“Actually I… I got you something too.”
“You got me a present?” Your eyebrows raised in a playful manner “It’s not like a signed picture of you or anything is it? Because if it is, it’s going on eBay.”
“No. Uh…two minutes alright?” Jamie left the room and returned a few minutes later, a poorly wrapped present in his hands. “Sorry about the shit wrapping.”
You laughed and unwrapped it, your face breaking out into a big smile as you found the present “no way!”“This is the coolest thing ever!”
A quiet, comfortable silence had fallen between the two of you over your FaceTime call, you’d just finished laughing about Jamie telling you how he broke into his schools tuck shop as a kid and stole six packets of malteasers. It should have been just a funny childhood anecdote shared with a friend and yet the comments you’d made a while ago itched at the back of Jamie’s mind. “You never asked me about myself, surprised you even remembered my name.” He’d gotten to know you since of course but he wanted to know more, he wanted you to tell him everything, like he was making up for looking through you before.
“Tell me something funny you did when you was kid” He asked before he could stop himself.
“Oh.” You shifted putting your phone down, thinking for a moment. “Ah okay I’ve got it!” You grinned “don’t laugh!” You made him promise.
“When I was a little kid, like I’m talking pre-primary school age, I had this cream cardigan, big daisies and red roses stitched all over it and I would wear it everywhere. I’d put it on to walk to school and cry when Miss Neil made me take it off, when I came home and my mum had to wash it, I’d sit by the washing machine and then in the garden waiting for it to dry. I’d even wear it when it was summer and it was probably too warm, I wore it even when it didn’t go with my outfit. I was not a fashion forward kid”
Jamie started laughing and couldn’t suppress it even over your protests that he promised he wouldn’t.
“What happened to it? The cardigan? You still have it?”
You pouted half jokingly “It got left on a plane on the way back from Tenerife. I cried so much, my dad rang Gatwick and the airport in Tenerife but no one ever turned it in. I’d have outgrown it but I loved that cardigan so much” you said wistfully “I was so annoyed thinking of some random person with my cardigan… I’ve searched online but there’s nothing like it.”
“Understandable. It sounds peak nineties” Jamie remarked with a raised eyebrow
“Oi. It would be considered vintage now” you laughed “Teenagers on depop would pay mega money for that.”
You picked it up and held it against you before putting it straight on without checking for tags.
“Jamie…” You wrapped it tight and folded your arms around you “You remembered! I feel a bit bad for joking now”
“Don’t…don’t…you don’t need to say anything.” Seeing you happy hit him like a brick wall. All he wanted was you smiling at him like you were doing now. His voice was quiet and he could feel the tension, he needed to do something, anything to dissipate it, if he didn’t…Jamie feared he’d just come out with it. “You have the real deal anyway, you don’t need a photo” He settled for a joke.
“Thank you!” You beamed at him and got up to kiss his cheek. “This is the coolest present ever!”
How was it that he’d never been short on attention from women but a kiss on the cheek from you had the biggest effect on him like he was a teenage boy again the first time he fancied a girl.
“Thank you for mine. And for all this…You really sure you can’t stay? It’ll just be me and mum and she’ll fall asleep after Eastenders.”
“Call me when she does. If I’m up, we can FaceTime” you still had your cardigan on and slipped your coat on over the top. “Maybe we can watch one of the Home Alones or Elf together.”
“I love Elf. It’s like my favourite film after Ratatouille.” He grinned at you and you laughed as you reached up and hugged him.
“I know. Merry Christmas Jamie.” You kissed him on the cheek once more
“Merry Christmas, [Name],”
***short time skip***
The addition of Roy to the coaching staff had gone perfectly…except for the one pretty major hiccup of Jamie clashing with him daily and on one occasion, making his way to your place after training to ask if you thought he had bad hair prompting you to wonder what exactly was going on.
A few days later and you were anxiously waiting on the final whistle in the quarter final against Tottenham, Jamie had played incredibly. A goal from right outside the box and only a minute ago he’d scored what looked like it would be the winner. At the sound of the whistle, you were up on your feet and running down to the tunnel. The moment you saw Jamie you ran to him and pulled him into a hug, him lifting you up and holding you flush against him for a few moments.
“You were amazing!” You enthused, looking up at him as you separated. “That free kick in the first half was one of the best ever seen! And a last minute goal… that’s the best game I’ve ever seen you play.”
Jamie grinned on a high from the result, his performance and now you gushing about him, telling him so earnestly how good he was felt amazing. For a moment he could forget you were in the Nelson Road tunnel with a little over 25,000 people just outside and other players and staff milling around you.
“Thanks. My first goal was good wasn’t it?” He was standing so confidently. It had turned out being a prick worked for him…so long as he kept it to the pitch. You liked seeing him back to the player you knew he could be.
“That’s goal of month, maybe even the season!”You reached up and fixed his hair without even thinking “Go celebrate. you deserve this.”
“Come out with me… I mean come out with us, we’re going out, all of us, you should come” Jamie said all at once.
“Sure I’ll come for one!” You nodded.
*
Across the bar, you could see a girl who looked like she could have walked off the set of Keeping Up with the Kardashians lean over and talk to Richard who was responding by pouring her a glass of wine, no doubt feeding her some sort of cheesy chat up line.
Jamie slid into the booth beside you, and, with the slight contact your knee made against his, he felt himself relax.
“That’s probably the third girl I’ve seen him give his number to tonight” he commented and you laughed, pleased to see him join you in your people watching.
“Welcome to being on this side of the fence.” You leant in close to him so you could talk.
“She not your type?” You asked curiously. “She’s alive isn’t she?” You teased. Jamie hadnt dated since Keeley, or rather, since his stint on the show if you could call that dating. It did seem a little odd to you that he’d never once mentioned anyone despite your fast formed friendship and everything else he’d willingly shared with you.
Jamie shook his head. “Nah i’m…”. How could he tell you he didn’t want anyone else other than you. “I’m not…nah not really doing that kinda thing anymore.”
Even if he tried, Jamie doubted he could bring himself to show any enthusiasm for chatting up anyone else anymore. How could he consider anyone else when it felt like you were the only person in the room who saw him. You actually saw him for him in his worst moments and still wanted to be around him. How could he not want you?
Your heart was beating as you took in Jamie’s response. It was only a short response but it set the smallest of sparks in your stomach and you took a swig from the bottle of cider in your hand to distract yourself from running over what that meant. Was he not interested in anyone? Was there something he wasn’t saying?
Looking for something to change the subject before it became awkward, your eyes fell to your phone, flat against the table, and you started at the clock telling you it was 00:10. Somewhat grateful for the easy out, you picked it up and slipped it into your back.
“I’m going to head home, I have an early start tomorrow.”
“Can i walk you home?” Jamie felt a little dejected but wouldn’t pass up the chance to spend time with you just one on one. “I don’t mind leaving now?”
You were grateful and almost wished you could take him up on it. Maybe when you were alone you could ask him more about what he meant.
How badly you wanted to say yes. Yes to him walking you home and how you’d hope on the walk home you’d maybe have enough courage to invite him in and up to your bedroom. The experience with your ex still lingered and you never ever thought it would be Jamie Tartt of all people to make you want to throw your one rule out of the window.
But he wasn’t the Jamie of old. This Jamie was funny and caring, he’d bring you a tea every morning before training, he’d call you and he’d ask you to go do “intellectual stuff” with him when he was too self conscious to go himself. He’d run through ideas or tactics he had with you and even ask you to watch his highlight reels, not for vanity but because he wanted a fans opinion, he’d get you to come out to dinners with him when he was offered free food at restaurants and throughout all of this, you were just his friend, his loyal best friend, when you were internally screaming that you wanted him.
Realising you hadn’t said anything in a few seconds, you quickly found a response “you’re the best for offering but… Jan’s offered to drive me. He’s not been drinking so it’s fine. He’s dropping off Colin too if you need a lift, I can ask him? I’m sure he won’t mind?” You asked, hoping Jamie would accept and you’d just both get out at his or yours.
Jamie felt an uncomfortable twist in his stomach.
Of course. Jan. Were you going back to his? Did you talk to Jan the way you talked to him? What had happened to “I don’t date footballers” or was that just your way of telling him you’d never want him like he wanted you? There was a part of him screaming to retreat, make an excuse, go home, move on but Jamie didn’t want to do that. He wanted to ask you outright but he couldn’t push the words out. So he did neither and just sat there.
“It’s okay.” He said forcing a smile. “Someone has to look after Isaac. I’ll get a taxi”
“Are you sure? If you want we can-…”
“Hey. Are you ready?” the Dutch centre-back interrupted from the aisle between tables before Jamie could reply “Some of us need sleep.” He teased, pointing at Colin who was leaning to one side, almost asleep on Moe’s shoulder “and I don’t want him to sleep in my car. Last time I had to let him sleep on my sofa.”
You laughed and almost as if he heard his teammate Colin jolted awake muttering he was ready and reaching for his coat.
“Sure I’m ready.” You gave Jamie a hug as you stood up and he watched you go, wishing he’d gone with you the second you were gone.
**
Jamie had been on edge since it was confirmed that the semi final at Wembley would be against Man City. You knew it had to be related to his dad, to his old club, to how everything was building to such a point that he was wound so tight, you were surprised he hadn’t snapped like an elastic band.
In the fall out from the result to Man City and the altercation with his dad, Jamie had come to you before he’d boarded the bus. He hadn’t needed to say anything, it was all over his face. You could see it. Without even needing to ask, Ted had waved for you to get on the bus with the team. Usually the staff would travel separately if they went to games but in this moment, the coach didn’t question it.
You settled in beside Jamie and shifted so he could rest his head on your shoulder and carefully you reached around so you could put an arm around him too and used your other to take his hand and you would stay that way for the journey back to the training ground where the players had left their cars.
Even as you exited the coach, you could tell he was tense, and as you walked him to his car, you could barely hear him when he came out with it.
“Are you okay?” You asked him once he’d done explaining “I’m so sorry Jamie. Your dad really is a prick”
Before Jamie replied, he looked up and over you across the car park, his eyes caught those of his teammate.
“I, uh, I will be. Fresh air is doing me good. I think I need to go home and sleep.” It wasn’t a lie.
“Jamie. I’m not an idiot. You need to talk?”
He pushed a hand back through his hair and with one look in your eyes conceded with a nod
*
After driving back to his and getting into his house, Jamie dropped onto the sofa, not bothering to change out of the training kit he’d travelled in. You made him a decaf tea and took a spot next to him on his sofa and let him lean back on you as listened to him tell you everything
“Was that the first time you’d…”
“Hit him back?” Jamie’s eyes didn’t lift from the spot in the middle distance. “Yeah. Couldn’t really fight back as a kid.”
“I was going to say ‘seen him since you left…” you kept your arm around him, loosely tracing in a manner you hoped was soothing. “But I’d guess same answer.”
Jamie lifted his head off your shoulder for a second. “Erm…” His dad had contacted him a few times whilst he’d played for City. Mostly asking for free tickets, to meet the rest of the team and to get tours of the ground. Jamie had given in reluctantly on the first one and skirted around the final two. “Yeah… I guess he wasn’t arsed about me playing for Richmond. Cant brag about me if I’m in the Championship and he can’t be fucked getting the train down to London”
“Jamie.” You tried “you deserve so much better…He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” You reassured him “you’ve been amazing these past few months Jamie. The best you’ve played. I know you probably wouldn’t want him at Richmond but still…his loss”
“Only got him the tickets to get him off my back and he didn’t even fucking support me. Went in the City end. Don’t know what I was expecting”
You imagined that must have stung for him. His dad feigning an interest just to turn around and support the team playing against his son. His old club, to add insult to injury.
“How do you feel now?” You asked cautiously. “Must have been hard for you to stand up to him…given how long he’s been…like that for?”
“I mean… shit because he’s my dad but he doesn’t act like he is, but like…I don’t regret it or anything…I just got fucking shit of it yknow…slagging me off, the club off…putting me down in front of everyone…and he’ll show up next time, if we get promoted he’ll be after tickets again…”
“We’ll make sure he doesn’t get near. You never have to deal with that again Jamie. You shouldn’t have had to take it back then and you don’t now”
“Thanks.” He added on “For… not just staying here but…for like always having time for me and that.”
“I’ll always have time for you Jamie.”
***a few weeks later***
The yearly charity gala had come around fast and unlike last year, you had actually looked forward to it this year. In the weeks leading up to it, you’d picked out a new outfit including new shoes.
Jamie had agreed to pick you up, asking you the second you’d said you were going and you’d agreed. Since you’d spent the night at his, completely platonically, Jamie’s already overwhelming feelings towards you had grown even more and you showing up to a charity gala with his teammate was the last thing he wanted and even though he’d spent the entire day telling himself this wasn’t a date, he still felt nervous as he rang your doorbell.
The second you opened it, he couldn’t help but break out into a big smile “You look… really good.” He nodded “this new?”
“Thank you” you accepted his compliment, nodding as you stepped aside to let him in “So do you. Not auctioning yourself off tonight?”
“Nah I’m not feeling up for it this year.”
Your eyes scanned his suit before realising his tie was slightly off “Can I?” You pointed at it.
You waited for him to nod before stepping in to fix his tie, before realising it needed a re-do.
“You know I’ve not had to wear a tie since school, but I reckon I could do a better job of it than this.” You joked, pulling the knot by his neck and re opening the fabric.
“You wore your tie? Don’t think I went a week without forgetting mine.” Jamie laughed.
“I was Deputy Head Girl.” You felt a little bit red, like suddenly you were back at school being paired with the popular boy for a project. “Kinda had to.” You looped it around before sliding it into place.
You shook the thought from your head. This was Jamie. Your friend. He could date anyone he wanted, why would he go out with someone normal and ordinary.
Jamie watched you in concentration for a few seconds before he couldn’t help himself.
“He’s punching going out with you, you know” the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.
He couldn’t help himself. Jamie didn’t mean it, at least, he didn’t mean it as it sounded. Jan was fine and of course he would be your exception to your rule. He seemed like he’d be your type. Still it stung. He wasn’t used to not getting the girls he liked…but maybe he should have expected it. You weren’t interested in the fame that attracted girls to athletes normally so of course you wouldn’t want him. You probably liked Jan because he was honest, funny and spoke three languages rather than the money and fame.
You stopped what you were doing, hands still on his tie, confused.
“What are you on about?”
“Yknow…Jan. You’re way too fit for him.”
“I’m not going out with Jan.”
You made sure it was centred before letting go of the fabric and suddenly aware of your close proximity, you stepped back.
“He takes you home and stuff…I figured you two were.”
“Shagging?” You came straight out with it, eyebrows raised
“Well…yeah?” He shrugged. “Ain’t you with him?”
Who’d have thought it. Jamie Tartt, who you’d considered the biggest arsehole you’d ever met a few months back, now being protective over you. It was weirdly quite sweet. Truth be told, you’d warmed to Jamie. A lot. If anyone had told you that last season you’d have thought they’d gone mad. When he’d left Richmond, you’d never even expected to see him in person again, let alone be friends with him.
“Jan’s just a friend…Didn’t realise anyone had noticed…also… surprised you remembered my…thing about footballers”
“I’m glad you’re not with him cause, yknow he’s…”
“Are you going to call someone else a prick?” Your head tilted to the side, hair falling with it. “Because if you are, that’s pretty fucking ironic.”
Jamie opened and closed his mouth, ready to reply when he saw you were half smiling.
“I’m messing with you...again” you teased and Jamie remembered the conversation he’d had with you outside the hotel in Manchester. Only this time you were looking at him differently. Back then you were looking at him like he was lost, now he’d swear you were… almost looking at him with affection.
“Nah, hes… he’s alright yknow just he’s not…” Jamie paused. He couldn’t say ‘not good enough’ because if Jan wasn’t the type of footballer you’d date, Jamie knew he definitely wouldn’t be. “Not who i picture you with.”
“Who do you picture me with?”
You were looking up at him, genuine interest on your face like you were waiting on a serious answer.
“I, uh, I don’t know.” The twisting in his stomach had been replaced and now the weight of relief, finding out you weren’t actually with Jan had lifted he didn’t know exactly what to say. With other girls he’d never had a problem asking them out but you? It was always different with you. “Just someone else.”
“Jamie…what’s going on?” you reached up and gently tilted his face so you could look at him. In spite of your confident action, your heart was hammering against your chest.
He let out a deep breath, eyes flickering over you for a moment, before he came out with it
“When I thought you were going out with Jan Maas. It was driving me mad.”
“Why?”
“I…I guess maybe I was jealous or something?”
“Thought you didn’t get jealous.” You’d heard all about his escapades with other women via the press and via various clips people had sent you of him on his TV show.
“I don’t not normally …” Jamie played with the cuff links absentmindedly. He sighed and looked down and then back up at you “I don’t wanna be like that anymore…I just,” he paused.
“Look” you said again “whatever you want to say… you can tell me…”
Jamie didn’t know what was holding him back. “I want to be the kind of guy you’d go out with, i don’t wanna disrespect you, and like I don’t want to ruin us being mates but…I really, really like you.”
“Jamie.” You laced your hand with his, feeling a swelling in your chest “I wish you’d told me sooner…You already are…you are the kind of guy I’d go out with.”
“What?”
“You are…the type of guy that I’d go out with.” You repeated with a reassurance in your voice “How could you not be? You’re sweet, you’re funny, you make me laugh…you listen…”
Jamie felt his heart hard against his chest, barely able to let your words sink in. “So if I asked you out? you’d go out with me?”
“Of course I will.” You squeezed his hand gently and as his shoulders relaxed and you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh as he dropped his forehead to yours.
“I can’t believe Jamie Tartt was worried about asking me out. You’ve been out with like models and stuff…and it’s me that you were worried about.”
He sighed “Yeah but that’s why I like you…cause you’re you.”
Come on. Let’s go to this auction.”
“Together yeah?”
“Of course. Good job your shirt matches my outfit…or you’d have to change” you teased.
Cue when you walked in hand in hand, Jamie was greeted by about half the team congratulating him on you two finally getting it together, including Jan who’d found it hilarious that Jamie had thought something was going on between you too.
***
Jamie had, with the best intentions, planned a perfect evening. A few days after you’d accepted him asking you out, he’d booked a reservation at restaurant he knew you’d like as a surprise knowing that it was one you’d always walked by and remarked it looked nice but never got around to trying it .
Things had not gone as planned.
After you’d arrived at the restaurant, you’d found out they’d closed due to a leak in the kitchen, you’d suggested going to a local bar and had lasted all of fifteen minutes before a drunk man in a too tight t shirt had knocked his pint over you and staggered off without apologising much to your ire. Jamie had wanted to go after the man and tell him to apologise but you’d just wanted to leave. Only ten minutes after leaving, Jamie had been approached by a group of kids looking for pictures and autographs and only a few seconds later, the skies opened and despite trying to huddle under a canopy of a nearby, closed cafe, you got soaked. Jamie, whilst taking photos with the young kids gave you a mouthed sorry but you told him to carry on knowing it would make the kids day.
Once he was done, he jogged back over to you, now shivering slightly and offered you his coat as you ran back to his
*
“You look really fit in my stuff. You should keep them.” Jamie remarked as you flopped down next to him on the sofa, now wearing a oversized tee and joggers that he’d pulled out for you to wear whilst your actual outfit was in his washing machine.
“Sorry the date was shit.” He added on as he ran a towel over his damp hair.
“Could have been worse” you shrugged with a smile as you dried off your own hair. “I’ve had worse dates.”
He let out a sigh and laid back on the sofa “I just wanted to take you out some place dead nice.”
“Jamie...that’s so sweet but you don’t have to. I just like being with you.” You shifted closer to him and scooted under his arm to rest on his chest. “I don’t care if it’s at a restaurant or like this…”
“I promise we’ll go out somewhere proper next time.” He leant down and kissed you softly. Dating you made Jamie felt like he’d finally got everything he’d ever wanted, and he was kicking himself for not asking you out the second he realised he had feelings for you.
“I could do that all day” You muttered against his lips as you separated briefly.
He placed a hand on your cheek and brushed your hair back before kissing you again. “Don’t think we could do this in the restaurant.”
You smiled against his mouth “well we could but probably wouldn’t be allowed back…”
“Maybe we can go back when they’ve fixed the leak and try?” Jamie made a joke and you playfully swatted him before kissing him again.
“Oh, Im holding you to that…”
***
Dating Jamie was so easy. Much easier than you’d thought. It was just like it was when you were friends but he’d always be taking your hand or wrapping an arm around you or kissing you…and of course you’d spend the night together rather than driving home after meeting up. When people had said date your best friend you’d never actually thought it could be possible.
Any fears or ghosts of your past that lingered over the bad experience with your ex were soon quashed by Jamie. Before you’d got together, you’d found it somewhat bittersweet that it was the former ladies man that you’d fallen for after swearing off dating footballers but now that you woke up to him every other morning and got to see him being the absolute perfect boyfriend to you, it just made sense.
So much so that eventually you’d caved and told him the name of the player you’d went out with before and Jamie had been thrilled to learn your ex was a goalkeeper and had made a promise to you he’d score against him.
You’d found it adorably sweet in the moment and incredibly hot when he followed through with his promise not once but twice, securing a brace and a win in the same game and making a big show of pointing at you and blowing a kiss into the stands. He’d almost been late in the next morning.
Jamie knew he loved you. Maybe it had started when you’d given him that chance in Manchester. You didn’t have to. If you’d told him to piss off, Jamie wouldn’t have blamed you but you hadn’t. You’d seen something in him, maybe believed in him deep down and now he was a better man, in part due to you.
The final game of the season was a whirlwind of emotions and knowing he’d be nervous for the game that could earn Richmond promotion back into the Premier League you’d snuck into the tunnel to see him just before he went out
“Good luck today babe.” You leant up and kissed him gently. “No matter what happens. I’m so proud of you, the player you are and the man you are.”
“Thanks” his eyes met yours “I, uh could have never done it without you.”
“Course you could. The talents all yours”
“I mean the…” Jamie paused, before looking at your shirt. He turned you around. “You’re wearing my shirt” he grinned at you and held up your arm so he could twirl you and see his name on your Richmond shirt. “Looks good on you”
“Course I am. Who else’s shirt would I wear.” You leant in and kissed him once more before the sound of the rest of the team approaching signalled it was time for you to go join the rest of the fans in the stands. “Smash it for me babe.”
**
Upon the final whistle, the coaching staff and bench descended on to the pitch to celebrate and you couldn’t help yourself.
You ran down to the barrier, dug into your bag to flash your work lanyard at a steward and ran on yourself, calling out to Jamie as you approached.
He caught you as you jumped into an embrace, quickly asking if he was okay after he was fouled in the lead up to Richmonds penalty. Jamie nodded.
“Yea yeah I’m fine babe. I’ve never been happier.” He looked breathless, a mixture of excitement, energy and adrenaline from the game.
“I love you Jamie.”
He kissed you deeply, passionately, caught up in the moment and not caring about the thousands of surrounding people, happy to be celebrating with you and the team.
“I love you. Next year I’m going to win you the whole thing”
852 notes · View notes
inbloomwriting · 10 months
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If I had you II Jamie Tartt
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Plot: Jamie Tartt is hard to love. At least he thinks so. Reader thinks it's the easiest thing in the world. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Swearing, mentions of food and alcohol. Notes: This is inspired by the song "a daydream away". It's 5.2k words of pure friends-to-lovers sweetness.  Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please
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Jamie Tartt is hard to love. At least he thinks so. It’s a chore to love him, the real him not the overly confident golden boy he portrays on the pitch. Just look at his track record, that just proves his point. Sure his mom loves him, he never questioned that, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for her. He’s convinced he’s made her cry more than once with yet another stupid decision. Then there’s his father who loves nothing more than to belittle him and lay out all his flaws for him and the world to see. And if even your own dad doesn’t love you, how can you expect others to. 
So maybe that’s the reason he doesn’t let anyone close enough to even begin to love him. Sooner or later they’ll figure out how much of an effort it takes and that he, of all people, truly isn’t worth it. 
And maybe, perhaps, that’s also the reason he doesn’t allow himself to explore the feelings he harbors for his best friend. He tried to deny them to himself for so long. Tried to pass it off as pure, unfiltered friendship. That’s bullshit though. He knows the feelings are there and there is no use in denying them. That doesn’t mean he can ever allow himself to act on them though. He’d just fuck it all up, the way he usually does with everything he touches. 
The shiny hardwood floor feels cold and smooth as he sits leaning against the kitchen counter, legs stretched out before him. A smile is permanently etched onto his face as (Y/N) talks about something that happened at her work today. He should listen, it’s probably a fun story judging by the way her giggles make her stop talking every few seconds. He should listen but he is so enamored with her that he can not pay attention to anything else. In a perfect world, in a world where loving him was easy, he’d lean over and kiss her. He'd kiss her silly and she’d kiss him back and life would be sweet and it would make sense. In that perfect world, she would love him back the same way he loves her and it would be easy and he’d deserve her. 
But that is not the world he’s living in. That is not his reality. Just a beautiful daydream he allows himself to escape to every once in a while. Loving her in a daydream is safe. It’s secret and quiet and there is no hurt there and no rejection. 
“Why are you grinning like that, huh Tartt?” 
She asks before taking a sip from the beer bottle clasped tightly in her hands. It’s an unusually hot summer’s day. One that makes it impossible to do anything but sit on the floor in as little clothing as possible and drink one cold drink after the other. Even if that means getting a little tipsy on a Tuesday afternoon.
“Nothing. Just happy to have you here. Missed you.”
“We didn’t see each other for a week and you already missed me?”
He misses her the minute she leaves. It’s like his heart isn’t complete if she isn’t there but he can’t really say that can he? Friends don’t tell friends things like that. And a friend is all she is. His best one but still. Telling her any of this could jeopardize their friendship and Jamie doesn’t think he could handle life without her. Not when a week already felt like torture. 
“Well yeah, I’m proper shit at cooking. I need you to feed me.” 
“Oh, is that so? Thought Mr. Bigshot footballer could get free food at any restaurant he fancies.”
She’s teasing but never mean and never hurtful. That’s something he cherishes so much about their friendship. His feelings, his fears — all of it is safe with her. There is no hurt or pain or fear. Just her and her friendship and warmth. And a pair of open arms ready to catch him whenever he stumbles and falls.
“True. But some fancy place in Mayfair will laugh at me if I ask them to make me dino nuggets, won’t they?”
Her laughter, he decides then, is his favorite sound in the world. It makes everything feel alright even if it’s just for a fleeting moment. He needs to keep his feelings locked up in that beautiful daydream because he can never lose this melody her laughter creates. And anyway, he wouldn’t even know what to do if he ever really had her.
— It’s not like she’d say yes anyway.
“You’re probably right about that,” she says and leans her head against his shoulder. And though it’s muggy and hot and he’s sure he can feel their skin stick together, he doesn’t shake her off. She’s part of his heart already, might as well melt into one completely. “You want me to make you some nuggets?” 
“Nah,” Jamie replies and places a soft kiss on the top of her head. Friends kiss friends on the head all the time, everyone knows that. Right? "That's okay. Already had a Kebab with Roy earlier.” 
“You guys are becoming friends then? Should I be worried I’m gonna lose my best friend status?” 
Jamie lets out some mix between a chuckle and a scoff. As if anyone in all the world could ever replace her. What a ridiculous thought. 
“Well he doesn’t make me nuggets, does he? No alphabet soup either. So no. Not yet.” 
The little shake of her fist she does in victory makes him grin even bigger. He must look like a damn fool. 
“I should probably get going sometime soon, I need to finish up some work and do laundry and do all that boring adult stuff that’s waiting for me at home.” 
There are lots of things he should be doing instead of sitting on his kitchen floor on a Tuesday afternoon getting half drunk on cheap beer and half on his overwhelming love for her. He’s sure there are a bunch of texts and emails waiting for him to sort through. Keeley might be popping a blood vessel soon if he doesn’t answer her about that brand requesting to work with him on some ad campaign. And he will get back to her — soon. 
Right now it doesn’t matter. Right now all that matters is him and (Y/N) and their little corner of safety and — home.
“But I don’t want to.” 
“Yeah, me neither. Just want to sit here with you and — “ 
“ — hang out?” 
“Mh. Hang out.” 
That was not what he wanted to say but none of the words ghosting through his head are meant to be spoken out loud. They are his to feel and think and keep hidden and quiet. 
“Good, we can hang out a little longer I think.” 
And he’ll take what he can get. All the precious minutes she grants him he cherishes. 
Right now could last forever and he wouldn’t mind at all.
Not as long as he’s with her.
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Some early 00s pop song is blasting from the speakers of the bar. Everyone’s in good spirits and drinks are flowing freely. 
(Y/N) is leaning against the bar talking to Colin, laughing about something he said, radiating joy and happiness. 
She loves his friends, his boys, his family. Jamie loves that she loves them so dearly, so fiercely as if they are her own family. At this point, they might as well be. She remembers all their birthdays, drops by unannounced with cookies for everybody, cheers them on louder than anybody else. Hell, she even gets Roy to smile and that’s quite something. She’s as much a part of the AFC Richmond family as she is a part of his life. 
“Jamie-Jam-Jam what are you sulking over here for,” her voice cuts through the crowd and the music as she slides into the booth next to him. She looks gorgeous in the hazy neon lights. Then again, she always looks gorgeous. 
“Not sulking. Just — thinking.” 
“About what?”
You. He’d say if he was honest and not such a coward. You and how much I adore you and how hard it is not to tell you any of this and fuck up our friendship. 
“Was considering getting me nipples pierced. I’d have to take them out though and I imagine that would be quite annoying.” 
“Probably,” she agrees and nods her head before adding “It would look sick though.” 
“Right? I reckon it would.” 
She laughs at that and once again it shakes his entire world. Like little earthquakes inside his heart. 
Her voice is quieter after her laughter subsides, soft and gentle, and with the loud music it feels like her words are only meant for him. “I like this,” she says almost wistfully.
“The song? Who’s that, Rihanna?” 
“Not the song, silly boy. This — “ she gestures around the room towards all their friends, dancing and laughing and having the time of their lives. And then she motions to the two of them, secluded and safe inside their own little bubble. “escaping our busy lives for a moment.” 
“Lot of journalists would disagree with you there, love. That my life was busy.” 
“They don’t know you like I know you.” 
There’s a sincerity in her eyes, a warmth, something he can’t quite explain. It’s familiar and foreign all at once. 
“No one knows me like you do. You had pity on Jamie Tartt, messy little prick from math class. They just know Jamie Tartt, the footballer from Richmond.Still a prick but now with better hair.” 
Before he knows what’s happening, her hands take hold of his face and gently rest against his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. Really look at her.
“I never had pity on you, Jamie. I thought you were funny and exciting and infinitely cool. That’s why I wanted to be your friend. And I was right! About the funny part, not the cool part.” 
“Obviously.” 
“But I never took pity on you. I don’t think you realize how highly I think of you. Now let me get a sip of that drink.” 
He’s still in some sort of haze brought on by her words when a groan coming from her shakes him from his thoughts. Her face is all scrunched up in disgust as she places his glass back on the table. “Ew, what the fuck is that?” 
“I’m not sure, honestly. Barkeeper said she’d mix me a Jamie Tartt and I was like fuck yeah, a drink named after me.”
“It’s disgusting. Did you shag and dump her at some point? Like, is she mad at you for some reason?” 
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that woman before in my life … so yeah maybe.” 
Shaking her head with a smirk on her face she grabs a hold of his hand and pulls him out of the booth and towards the bar on the other side of the place, the one with the older male bartender with the impressive beard.
“You ever had a thing with him?” she asks as she leans against the counter, trying to get the man’s attention.
“Nah, I’d remember that facial hair.” 
From then on the night tastes like tequila and beer and it feels like a warm hug. She doesn’t join in on all his drinks, stops herself after a beer and a shot, but she does join him in all the other shenanigans. Like when they make up ridiculous backstories for strangers and have a laugh about some corporate douchebag trying desperately to get with some woman who clearly has no interest in him. 
“Henry from accounting.”
“Nah, that’s Charlie from HR.” 
“Well, either way, Maisie from South Shields is not interested.” 
He could stay here forever, laugh the night away. Drunk on happiness, on love — and also on quite a lot of booze. 
“Come on, Jamie-Jam, “ she says and hands him his jacket. She’s all gentle hands and gentle eyes. “Let me give you a ride home.” 
“We’re going home?”
“I think it’s time. Think someone had a little too much.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
He is but also not. He’s sorry for being a burden — again. He’s not sorry for letting himself enjoy a night of unadulterated happiness with the people that mean the most to him.
“No need to apologize, Jamie. I’m glad you had fun. Now come on, silly boy. I’m tired.”
And when they step out of the place and into the night, all sweaty and hair a mess, he thinks that of all the things his eyes have ever seen, the best by far is her. Then and always. 
London passes by in a blur as (Y/N) drives them towards his house. All the bougie buildings and the iron fences and the trees in the parks, it’s all one kaleidoscope of color, a smudge of light and shadows. 
It’s not like he can really focus on that though. Partly because all he can think of is her and partly because he’s absolutely wasted. Mostly her though. Definitely mostly her.
“Did you have a good time?” his voice slices through the comfortable silence.
“I always have a good time when I’m with you, silly boy. Did you?” 
He rests his cheek against the smooth leather of her car seats and regards her with an infinite sense of wonder and adoration. In any other situation, this position would be deeply uncomfortable but he’s numb to anything but the beating of his heart and the strings that pull him towards his best friend.
“Obviously. Had my best girl with me. “
“Keeley?”
His eyebrows raise in confusion. “Keeley? No you numpty, you!” 
“Me?”
“Why would you think I was talking about Keeley?”
He wishes he could see the look on her face. This is not a car conversation. 
“Uh, she’s the only real adult relationship you ever had and you had a poster of her on your wall. Makes one think things. In fact, I believe that poster is still up.”
Jamie can’t help but scoff at her words. Not in a dismissive way necessarily but this whole conversation seems so silly to him. Yeah, he loved Keeley in a way and yeah she’s still one of his best friends but never has she come close to (Y/N). Keeley hardly ever got to see the real Jamie, the one that didn’t hide behind this larger-than-life footballer persona. (Y/N) met him before that persona even existed.
“Stop thinking things then. You’re my best girl, always.”
He still can’t see her face since she is looking at the road in front of them, but he can see the smile pulling the corner of her lips upwards, and for the moment that’s good enough for him.
Her car comes to a stop in front of Jamie's house but while he drags himself out of his seat, she stays put. 
“What are you doing, love?” 
“Dropping you off?” 
“Are you not coming inside then?” 
“Do you want me to come inside? We spent pretty much all week with each other, I thought you might be sick of me by now.” 
A ridiculous thought if he’s ever heard one. He could never get sick of her. They could be glued to each other for the rest of eternity and he wouldn’t mind one bit. 
Even in his drunk state of mind though, he realizes that’s not something he can tell her. That crosses out of friend territory. So he just chuckles and rolls his eyes.
“Do I want you to come in? What a dumb question is that? Of course, I do. I have a bag of those disgusting spicy crisps waiting for you in my kitchen.”
“In that case —” 
10 minutes later they’re sitting on his couch, her legs across his lap, munching away at those god-awful crisps as some overly dramatic American home renovation show flickers across the TV screen. 
In moments like these, love lives here. In these walls and on this couch. And it’s terrifying because thinking about love also makes him think of the possibility of losing it. But every once in a while, Jamie lets himself feel a tiny bit of it. Just enough to keep him going. 
“Hey Jamie,” she speaks up, her face only illuminated by the light coming from the TV. She’s wearing his shirt and he wills himself not to focus too hard on that because that will cause images to ghosts through his mind that he can’t allow himself to ever think about. Images that cross every line ever drawn when it comes to friendships.
“Yes, love?” 
“You’re my best boy too. Not sure I ever told you.” 
He doesn’t answer, not in words at least. But he squeezes her legs as they rest on him, and he hopes she knows. Oh god if only she knew. 
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Jamie Tartt is hard to love. At least he thinks so. (Y/N) knows he thinks so because he let it slip once or twice when he was drunk and his words were all jumbled and his mind was all hazy. 
And every damn time it breaks her fucking heart. Because loving Jamie Tartt is the easiest thing she ever did. It comes as natural as breathing. It feels like a nice ray of summer sun on her skin, sizzling and exciting and warm.
Loving Jamie is a gift.
Now if only there was a way she could make him realize that. But every time he lets himself be even a little vulnerable he is so quick to cover the cracks with stupid jokes or misplaced arrogance before a real conversation can happen. 
She needs him to realize it though. To understand that loving him isn’t difficult. Because how can you tell someone you love them and make them understand just how much they mean to you when they deem themself unlovable? 
Turning her head to the side she looks at his sleeping face. Somewhere between Fixer Upper and House Hunters, he fell asleep, leaving her alone with her thoughts. He’s snoring something awful but she still thinks he’s adorable. Jamie has a mischievous, lovable quality to him that just makes you open your heart to him whether you want to or not. Yeah, sure, he’s let people down, he’s done shitty things, but he’s trying. He’s learned and he’s changed and the price for being young and stupid and cocky should not be a life spent questioning if you deserve other people’s love. 
Jamie Tartt is not hard to love. But loving him and not being able to tell him because he doesn’t love you in quite the same way, that’s just fucking cruel.
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The air is loaded with static. Everyone is on the edge of their seat. (Y/N) is huddled in between Rebecca and Keeley, holding their hands and nervously biting at her lip. Emotions are running high as Richmond is playing Manchester. Correction — they’re not only playing them, they are kicking their asses.
It’s 2-0 for Richmond and they’re already 1 minute into the 3 minutes of additional time. If Manchester doesn’t get a miracle, Richmond wins. The thought of that makes a fluttery feeling spread in (Y/N)’s stomach. If this is how she feels, she can only imagine what Jamie must feel like. 
1:30
2 minutes
2:30
3 minutes.
“Blow the whistle. Come on. Blow the fucking whistle.” 
And as if he heard her pleading, the referee blows the whistle giving Richmond their win. 
Laughter and cheers and songs fill the air as every Richmond fan is on their feet celebrating a win they so desperately wanted and that the team fought so hard for.
The win Jamie fought so hard for. 
She tries to find him across the pitch but there are too many people, hugging and celebrating, too much noise. She just hopes he knows how proud she is.
And she hopes that somewhere out there his dad is watching. Sees him win, with the team he doesn’t approve of. Watches him succeed and be the man he never was and never will be.
She hopes somewhere deep in the inky black pit that is his heart, he finds a glimmer of pride for his only son, even if it comes entirely belated.
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Jamie has won quite a few matches by now and it’s always a great feeling but some wins stand out. This is one of them.
His heart is filled with gratitude and pride, and his entire system is flooded with adrenaline and utter euphoria. He’s positively buzzing as the team gathers in the hallway leading toward the locker room. Some of them have been whisked away to give short post-match interviews — as if there is much to say other than how fucking awesome it feels to win — while the others are waiting for them to come back so they can all meet up at the locker room for some after match briefing. 
“Superstar, you did it!” 
Her voice carries through the hallway above the rest of all the noise. Like a siren calling out to him, she can’t hear anything but her, it all shifts into the background.
She weaves through the crowd like a fucking goddess in blue. He always thought she looked good in the Richmond colors and seeing her with his name on her back never fails to make his heart shutter with delight. But there’s something about today that makes this even more special. 
Maybe it’s the adrenaline of winning. Of making his mom proud and proving his dad wrong. Of proving himself wrong. Maybe it’s seeing her in his kit, with his name and his number smiling that radiant smile of hers. Maybe it’s a combination of all these things. But something makes his brain short-circuit for a moment. Just a fleeting moment but long enough to make him push through the crowd until he’s standing in front of her, matching smiles on their faces. Just long enough for him to softly place one hand on her waist and pull her closer, so unbelievably close. Just long enough to cradle her face in his other hand, gentle and careful, like the most precious thing in the world. Long enough for him to place his lips on hers in a kiss so sweet, so long in the making, it feels surreal. It feels like he’s still stuck in his saccharine daydream.
And then reality snaps back and he pulls away, opening his eyes to a smiling (Y/N) staring back up at him through curious eyes.
“Silly boy, what was that?” 
She doesn’t sound upset, in fact, his delusions might even make him think she sounds delighted. 
“I — “ 
“Jamie, locker room. Let’s go, boy!” 
Ted’s voice calls out to him all full of glee and jubilation. The guy sounds even more chipper than usual and that says a whole lot. 
Pulling away from her feels like having a bubble suddenly popped. Every what-if that has been clouded by post-win euphoria suddenly bears their ugly head again. Sometimes Jamie wishes his thoughts weren’t so fucking loud all the time.
“Go, your coach is asking for you. I’ll see you at the after-party. We’ll talk then, yeah?”
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Only they don’t because, for some inexplicable reason, Jamie avoids her like the plague.
Everyone is gathered at the bar for celebratory drinks, it’s a private function, just the team and family and associates. Spirits are high, everyone’s excited. And all things considered this night should be magical. Only it’s not, because once again Jamie refuses to let himself be loved.
Rejection tastes bitter. It’s sharp and metallic. Rejection also tastes quite a lot like tequila.
The salt, the lime, the liquor — it’s supposed to make her feel better. It’s supposed to mend the cracks in her heart, if only for a night. 
It doesn’t do any of that, it only makes her fucking sad.
How foolish of her to believe that he’d feel the same, that he’d finally pick up on the hints she’s been dropping for over a decade and reciprocate the feelings. Maybe they never stood a chance anyway. Maybe —
No, actually fuck that.
He can’t do this, it’s unfair. You don’t kiss someone, not like that at least, and then ignore them for the rest of the night. Especially not when that person is your best fucking friend.
Bumping against people left and right, she makes her way across the room to stand next to a smiling Jamie deep in conversation with a pretty girl, who (Y/N) is quite sure is the sister of one of his teammates.
“I need to talk to you.” It’s not a request. Not this time. This conversation has been a long time coming. It’s time, she thinks, to finally be brave. One can only swallow down their feelings and emotions for so long, until they come bubbling to the surface like a fucking volcano rolling over Pompeii. She just hopes that once the dust settles there will be hope instead of death and destruction.
“Uh, kind of in the middle of something here.” 
She can’t stand this part of him. This fake, unbothered cool guy who has no empathy for her or anyone other than himself. She hates it mostly because this is not the real Jamie, just some cardboard cutout version of him.
“Too bad, that'll have to wait.” 
She doesn’t give him another second to resist or shake her off, just grabs onto his arm and pulls him through the crowd and towards the exit.
The nightly London air feels cold against her skin, making her shiver as goosebumps appear on her arms.
“What the fuck is going on with you?”
“What the fuck is going on with me?”
He can’t be serious.
“Yeah. I had something going there. She was well fit too.”
The urge to smack him across his stupidly handsome face is seriously fighting her desire to kiss him again right about now.
“Good for her but you owe me a conversation.”
“(Y/N), I — “ 
The way he rolls his eyes so dismissively, so suave and cool, it’s like a dagger straight to the heart.
“No, you know what — fuck you, Jamie. I know you have a hard time letting people in completely, and I get that that’s something you have to work through on your own time but the way you're treating me right now is really shit. You can’t kiss me like that and then run. I’ve been waiting for that fucking kiss for over a decade.” 
“What?” 
He looks at her with the signature Jamie Tartt look of confusion and innocence. Like a damn puppy or something. And if she wasn’t so annoyed, so hurt, maybe she’d find it endearing.
“I’m in love with you, Jamie. I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you. I’ve been in love with you since I was sat next to you in class and you asked me if Pythagoras was that French guy. I’ve loved you when you were just a chaotic teenager. I’ve loved you when you won your first game and when you lost. I’ve loved you when you signed your first contract and when you made a complete fool of yourself on that ridiculous tv show. And I love you now. So to think you finally picked up on it and reciprocate my feelings was — I was so happy, Jamie. Only for you to completely ignore me for the rest of the night. I don’t deserve that. Not from you of all people. “
“Will you let me talk?”
“No, I’m not done yet.”
“Alright, go on.”
“I love you, Jamie and I know you think I shouldn’t and that you don’t deserve it, but guess what? I don’t care. I love you anyway and I am not asking for permission to love you. That’s not how it works. And I don’t love you despite your flaws, I love them too. Even your stupid 2003 looking haircut and your ridiculous clothes that make you look like a male Bratz doll sometimes. Sorry people in your life made you feel like you had to earn it just because they couldn’t see how phenomenal you are. Just you, Jamie Tartt, messy little prick.” 
Silence wraps around them like a thick blanket as a moment passes, then two. Jamie raises his eyebrows in question.
“Can I?”
“Yes, you can!”
“Jesus, alright. Stop yelling at me.”
“Well, I’m upset!”
“And I’m sorry about that. I never meant to upset you. Ever. I just — do you remember that one birthday, I think I turned 12, when me dad showed up and he was just being his usual asshole self and he made me play against him and then yelled at me in front of all the guests when he won? “
She sure does. Even at 12, she wanted to put her tiny little fist straight between Mr. Tartt’s eyebrows. “Yes.”
“You sat with me when I went to my room to escape. Refused to leave my side. Called my dad a wanker and you made me laugh. Then you got me a piece of cake and we ate it on my bed while watching Spongebob.” A smile plays on his lips as he reminisces about that day.
“I was 12 and I didn’t know a lot but I knew that night that I was in love with you and I immediately promised myself I wasn’t gonna do anything about it. Losing you is the scariest thing I can think about and my track record with people is pretty shit, honestly. So yeah I didn’t want to even risk fucking up with you. Rather have you as a friend than not have you at all.”
“So why did you kiss me earlier after all?”
“For one, you looked so fit in blue, with my name on your back. I was full of adrenaline and just so fucking happy. I uh — I think my mind was telling me that it’s finally time to be brave for once.”
Hearing him say it, it’s something she never expected but always hoped for. She’s played this scene out so many times in her dreams and yet she doesn’t know what to say or do now that it is actually happening.
“So what now?”
“Well, if you let me, I was gonna kiss you. Because if you think that other kiss was great, this next one is going to change your life.”
As those words fall from his lips, (Y/N) can’t get close to him quick enough. Pulling him towards her by the front of his shirt. Closer and closer until there is no room left between them and he gently nuzzles his nose against hers. 
“Jamie Tartt?” 
“Hmm?”
“Change my life!”
Jamie Tartt is hard to love. At least he thought so. And maybe a part of him still does and always will. But kissing (Y/N), his best girl, the fucking love of his life, it feels quite easy to let himself be loved. 
Feels as easy as breathing. And for once in his life, the reality is so much sweeter than the daydream. 
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s4turns-st4rs · 2 months
Text
𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭
🎧 ﹐ ♡﹒a jamie tartt oneshot ﹒ ᶻ ᶻ
𝐚/𝐧: another fic for my precious boy <3 sorry i’ve been so inactive atm, school’s an ass. but i’ve got some fics planned, so hopefully i’ll find the will to finish them soon. enjoy lovelies xxx
requests are open ‼️
in which: waking jamie is a task not for those faint-hearted
words: 0.52k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none!
𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠: r&b - english teacher
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the sunlight trickled through the window of your apartment, past the curtains and softly draped across jamie’s face. his hair fell across his forehead, the blonde walnut mist strands shining in the morning light, his enviously long eyelashes tickled his cheeks.
he looked so peaceful, a stark contrast to his usual expressions.
gently, he pulled the blankets up to his chin, snuggling further into his pillow. he let out a soft, content sigh.
suddenly, the annoying beep beep beep of his alarm came from his bedside, and interrupted your almost ethereal view of your boyfriend.
he let out a sudden snore, as he turned over.
the beeping continued. you were this close to throwing a nearby shoe at the alarm if jamie didn’t wake up soon. he let out another snore, and turned back to face you.
without opening his eyes, he frowned, and pulled the blanket over his head. you leant over him, turning off his alarm, disturbing him as little as possible.
you moved back under the blanket, before whispering, “oi.” you pulled the blanket back down, past his chin. “sleeping beauty.”
jamie frowned at the light, and the nickname, but his eyes flutter open. his big, blue eyes looked up at you, before he whispered,
“let me sleep.”
his voice was deep and huskier in the morning, and his accent was noticeably stronger. and god it was hot.
you shook your head softly. “you’ve got training this morning. besides, it’s already 9am.”
he let out a dramatic, peeved huff. you raised an eyebrow at him, but he grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it.
you should be used to this. you’ve lived with him for 4 months now. but you’re not. and even after every morning, it doesn’t get any less cute.
“c’monnnnnnn jamie,” you said, attempting to snatch the pillow from under his face, but to no avail.
he looked up at you, feigning innocent sadness.
“tell ‘em i’m sick.” he pouted at you.
you frowned at him. “i’m not lying to the team for you.” you lie back down, looking up at the ceiling. “anyway,” you start, knowing the trick.
“if you don’t go to work, then you won’t get kisses.”
his eyes widen almost comically as he practically jumps out of bed. “i’m goin’, i’m goin’, i swear!”
you chuckle a little as you watch your boyfriend hurriedly put on his clothes, and throw on a hoodie.
“shit and piss!” he yelled suddenly, after kicking his toe on his cupboard.
you chuckled again, and he threw a sock at you. you threw the sock back at him, pulling the blanket over your face in protection.
“ah, ya sneaky bastard.” jamie said with a grin, now dressed. he pulled the blanket back down past your face, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “see you later, love.”
you grinned a little, as you grab his face before he can leave, planting a more passionate kiss on his lips. “bye.”
after all your months together, jamie still blushed at your kisses. “bye.” he said, with a little dazed smile as he headed out of your bedroom.
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buckychristwrites · 10 months
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About You | Epilogue | j.t.
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Summary: Your job? Pop culture journalist for The Independent. Your assignment? To write a profile on the cocky footballer that you're publicly feuding with.
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: Cussing. Enemies to lovers
A/N: That's a wrap! Thank you so much for supporting my fanfic for Jamie. I was so nervous to write for him and now i don't wanna stop! Sorry for double posting, i finished this rather quickly. Enjoy!!!
Masterlist | About You Masterlist | Main Blog
6 months later
If he had to pick one, Jamie’s least favourite room at Nelson Road Stadium was the press room. Every time he was in there, surrounded by people who were asking him invasive questions, he felt like a little boy again, getting yelled at for something small he had done. The lights were also incredibly bright, and under certain circumstances, very hot. He had been asked to do the press room today because of how well Richmond had been doing, and, in particular, how well he had been playing. 
In the hall outside of the press room, he paced up and down with his eyes trained on the grey flooring. The game had been a long one, the win narrow, and all he wanted to do was go home for dinner and a cuddle before curling up in bed. 
A ding ding came from the phone inside his pocket. The smile broke through his mouth before he even had a chance to pull it out. He knew who it was from.
Hurry up so we can go home! x
A deep exhale passed his lips. 
“You want me to go in with ya?” Roy asked as he was walking by. Jamie shook his head, finding his confidence again.
“I got it,” He assured his coach, who only nodded in response. 
The cameras started going off as soon as he walked through the door. In the corner stood Rebecca and Keeley, who made it a habit to watch the press conferences. Sure, it was nice to have them there. But they weren’t what was placating him. His phone, illuminated with the text thread he hadn’t closed out of, was still tight in his hand as he took a seat. 
“Yeah, alright,” He mumbled into the microphone, looking around at the sea of unfamiliar faces. “Go ahead with your questions.” 
The room erupted into a chorus of people shouting his name, trying to get his attention. Immediately, he felt overwhelmed, but he tried to push it down as best as he could. He haphazardly pointed at someone in the front. The man stood, introducing himself. Jamie was, in all honesty, only half listening up until the question.
“Richmond had quite the comeback this year and is one of the top teams in the league. What do you think changed?” 
Jamie considered this. Or at least made it look like he was. “Nothin’ changed, really. We just took what Coach Lasso taught us, and continued to get better.” Another journalist, a woman, stood and interrupted.
“But you started to play better without Lasso, do you think there’s a correlation there?” Jamie’s eyebrows went up.
“I think there’s a correlation between me callin’ on someone and them gettin’ their question answered,” He replied, turning away from her instantly. She slowly sunk in her seat as the rest of the room began raising their hands again. He looked at his watch quickly before looking back up at them. “You, go on.” Another lady, with bleach blonde hair, stood this time. 
“Do you care to comment on the rumours of you moving in with your journalist girlfriend?” She asked him, tacking your name in at the end to clarify, as if he had several journalist girlfriends to differentiate from.
“You mean the very same rumours I’ve never commented on before today?” He asked her. “Sure.” Rolling his eyes, he turned to the other journalists. From the corner of his eye, he could see Rebecca throw her head back to stare at the ceiling in complete despair. He wasn’t concerned, though. “You, in the back.” 
Raising off the wooden bench was you, sporting your Tartt cap and notepad in hand. He could feel his posture straighten at the sight of you. He hadn’t even picked you on purpose. You introduced yourself to the room, receiving several shocked looks as they slowly came to realise who you were. The bleach blonde woman in the front turned as red as a tomato as she instantly fell back into her seat.
“The Guardian,” You added in your most professional voice. You cleared your throat. “Mr. Tartt, your fans are dying to know. What TV shows are you watching these days?” He was completely incapable of suppressing the smile on his face.
God, he thought to himself. When did I get so fuckin’ lucky?
“Been watchin’ a lot of Peaky Blinders, if I’m honest,” He admitted. The journalists all stared at him, astonished that of all of the questions he decided to answer without being a prick, it was this one. “A little bit of the American show called New Girl, but that one is against me will, mostly.” You scribbled on the notepad furiously, as if you were taking very serious notes.
“Would your girlfriend agree with that assessment?” In a turn of events, the crowd laughed at this one.
Jamie looked up at the ceiling, still smiling, as he shook his head.
“No,” He admitted. “She’d say I’m a dirty liar, who loves the show more than she does.” 
“Mhmm,” You hummed as you continued to write some more. “Just one more follow up. Care to elaborate on the moving-in rumours?” A beat passed. “For the Guardian.” He gave her a look, one that said that she would pay for this later. His heart picked up in pace. 
The rumours were always just rumours, the press rarely being correct on where he was at in his relationship. But this was different, as the conversation had been one the two of you had been somehow having, while also not really having. You basically had been living at his house for we over a month at this point, only going to your apartment for laundry and things you needed. He kept cracking jokes about how you needed to just move in already, but it seemed that you had been taking them as just jokes and not actual invitations, which had been starting to bother him. He wanted you there, with him, all the time, forever. All that was coming between that was the stupid flat of yours.
After a moment, he shrugged. “I’d love her to,” He said. “If she wants, of course.”
This time, you didn’t pretend to write anything down, instead just staring at him in disbelief. The eyes in the room were going back and forth between the two of you, no one saying a word, and Jamie took this as an opportunity.
“Well, that’s that, ain’t it?” He said, slapping his hands against the arm rests before standing up and walking out. The press tried to stop him as they yelled questions at him while he crossed over to the door. But you did the smart thing, which was slip out the back door to follow him. 
When you caught up, you threw your arms around the back of his neck, jumping and bringing your legs up to his sides. He didn’t even question it as he brought his arms up to hold your thighs, planting a kiss to your cheek in the process. He made carrying you seem so easy. It was as if you were a feather to him.
“So,” You said with a teasing tone. “I heard in the press that I’m moving in.” He jumped up slightly, a squeal forcibly leaving your mouth. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye.
“Yes,” He said. “You’re movin’ in. Officially.”
He kicked the door open to the changing room, where the rest of the team were gathered. They all waved and greeted the two of you excitedly, not at all fazed by your presence. They’d had a lot of time to get used to it prior to you and Jamie beginning your relationship.
“Lads,” Jamie announced, letting you slide back down to the floor before throwing an arm around your shoulders. “We’re movin’ in together.” They all stared blankly at the pair of you, a few looks exchanged.
“We thought you already had,” Isaac said. 
“I still have a flat with all of my things in it,” You told him. That was met with a lot of Oh’s and agreeable sounds, as if what you said made sense.
“The point is,” Jamie continued. “We’ll need help gettin’ her stuff to me place.” They all began talking over each other excitedly.
“We would be honoured to help you.”
“I can bring pizza!”
“I’ve got a trunk. That would certainly help, I’d think.”
As they all came together to make these plans, you watched, feeling like you were going to cry. Your life had changed so dramatically in the last 6 months, and it was all because of the one work assignment you were given out of spite. Now you have a new job. New relationship. New family. Jamie squeezed your shoulder, pulling you closer to him.
“Hey,” He mumbled to you, nudging the side of your head with his nose and forehead.
“Hmmm?” You hummed in response, looking up at him. He kissed the tip of your nose before pecking your lips.
“I love ya.” 
You smiled.
“I love you too.”
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crazyk-imagine · 11 months
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Mended Relationships and the Future
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Pairing: Jamie Tartt x Fem!reader Characters: Fem!reader, Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, Keeley Jones, Jamie Tartt, Rebecca Welton, Isaac Mcadoo, Colin Hughs, Sam Obisanya, Dani Rojas, Jan Maas, Roy Kent, literally all of the players (I just can’t think of their names) Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of pregnancies, mentions of reader not taking care of themselves (don’t do this), Jamie being sweet, reader and Jamie being dummies for a second, the team being so goddamn adorable, the team gives such family vibes, Jamie pretending the reader and he are engaged so he can stay with her, Ted and Beard are a powerful duo, this is my favorite TL fic that I’ve written Word Count: 3,783
A/N: Bits and pieces are based on this post
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You walk into the coach’s office with your hands in your hoodie pocket, clutching onto your phone to keep your hands busy. "Why did you wake me up and force me here, Ted?" 
"That's not a can-do attitude." 
Your expression doesn't change, if anything, you look more tired and drained. Another reason why the mustached man got you out of your home. "Ted." 
He sighs. "I wanted to check in on you, haven't seen you in a minute." 
You sigh. "I would prefer it if I were in my bed right now to be honest with you." 
"After we go out to lunch." 
"I want to be out of here before I run into..." You pause when you almost say his name. "You know what- I'm just- I’m gonna go." You barely turn around and hear the door open. 
It takes you less than a second to duck, which makes Ted feel a little bad but doesn't change his mind. 
He knows you two need to talk, especially when neither of you want to admit who broke up with who... or why it happened. 
Your emotions take a toll on your body again and you crawl towards the trash can, dry heaving until you feel it coming up (again). 
Beard kindly closes the door before anyone could walk in or hear you as Ted rubs the space between your shoulders. 
"How long have you been feeling like this?" 
You shrug. 
"How long?" He asks again. 
"A few weeks." 
Ted glances over at his long-time buddy with wide eyes. "Please don't get upset or take offense when I ask this but have you-" 
'Play dumb. Play dumb.' "Have I what? Use words, my brain isn't functioning off your noises." 
"Is there a possibility that you could be, you know, with child?" 
Your head snaps up. 'He knows.' "Why would you ask that?" 
"You have a few of the signs." 
"When was the last time you went to a doctor?" Beard chimes in. 
"A while ago." 
"So, you know?" 
"Whether or not I'm pregnant with my ex-boyfriend’s baby, who coincidentally told me he doesn't want kids just as I wanted to tell him I do. Yeah, it was right as I was about to tell him I am with child, which is why I've been dodging all of you but you and Beard here," you point to Ted's sidekick, who waves. "Dragged me out of my house." 
"Oh, honey." 
"Does he know?" Coach beard intervenes (again). 
"What do you mean?" 
"You said, you wanted to tell him... did you?" Ted politely asks. 
"He broke up with me, so I didn't give him my surprise, but I tell people it was mutual because he asked me if," the tears roll down your cheeks. "If it was okay. The fucking ex-cockiest player of all, asked me if I was going to be okay, so of course I said yes and then he left. We haven't spoken since." 
"He should know." 
"I know but he is scared to death to have his own kids. Why would I-" You scoot back and rest your head against the wall. "I want to go home. I have a few things coming later today and I need to be there for them. It’s time I start," you take a deep breath. “Getting things ready.” 
"We can get those later, I've gotta make sure you're okay right now." 
"I'd be better if this nausea, vomiting combo would go away." 
"Do you want me to have Keeley get you a ginger ale or something?" 
"Yeah." 
The door opens and there she is. She stares at you with the same look she gives you every time you throw up. "I had a feeling you were going to need this." 
-
Jamie sees what he imagines is a glimpse of you sitting in his coach’s office. He furrows his brows, wondering if it was really, you or if it's a figment of his imagination... again. 
It wouldn’t be the first time this week. 
-
"What?" She practically screams when Ted tells her on behalf of you, the Jamie not knowing part; she already knew you were pregnant, but she thought he knew and decided not to be in either of your lives. Now she feels a little bad about not being nice to him. 
You bury your head in your hands. "Shut up. Don't shout anymore, please." 
"Can you blame me? That's big fucking news babes. I thought he already knew." 
"Yeah, I know. Just, shut the door please." 
She doesn't, so you push yourself up and close the door. 
You sway as you take a step back, “oh, boy.” You can hear their voices but not hear their words. You feel yourself falling backwards before it fades to darkness. 
Ted and Beard catch you, carefully laying you down so the latter can call for an ambulance. 
Jamie steps closer to the office, sensing something’s happened. He opens the door and his jaw dropped as he’s about to ask what's going on until his eyes land on you. 
He immediately falls to his knees beside you, holding your face in his hands, not caring about the rug burn that’s going to ache later. "What happened?" 
No one responds. 
"What fucking happened?" 
Ted doesn't feel he should be the one to tell him and does all that he can to try and calm down his player. "She's fine, she probably didn't have enough to eat for breakfast, is all." 
"Bullshit. She's done that before and never fainted before." He stares down, studying your face. "So, why is she fucking unconscious?" 
-
You don't know anything that happened within the last few hours. 
All you know is that there is an annoying beeping sound coming from the side of you and your one hand is warmer than it normally is. 
You slowly open your eyes, blinking multiple times as you try to adjust to the lighting. You look for the source of the warmth and find Jamie, holding your hand with his head rested on his arm with his head facing you. 
The door opens and you find Ted peaking in. 
The way his shoulder sags in relief makes you feel bad. 
He tiptoes closer and lets you know what happened. 
"Why is he here?" 
He smiles as he peaks over at the sleepy man. "He didn't leave your side." 
"How did he know?" 
"He came in as we were calling for an ambulance. You scared him, he would barely let the paramedics help." 
"Isn't family only allowed in here?" 
"Apparently you two are engaged." 
You owlishly blink. "What?" 
"He said you two were engaged and he needed, no, no. That's not right, he demanded, there it is. He demanded to be in the room with you. I wasn't here for most of it. In the room I mean but I think he knows because he looked very shocked and then came in here when they told him he could and hasn’t left since." 
The coach ignores the fact that your heart monitor spikes as you ask, "he knows?" 
"I think so." 
Jamie moves a little in his sleep. 
"That's my cue to leave." 
"Wait- no. Ted. Come back." You glance between him and Jamie. "Ted," you hiss. "Come back here." 
Jamie squeezes your hand as he slowly begins to wake up. 
You look back at him just in time to hear the door close. You throw your head back and sigh. 
"Sweetheart?" 
You slowly turn your head to stare at him, your eyes becoming sad. 
His shoulders sag in relief as a slow sigh escapes his parted lips. "How are you feeling? I should- I should go get the doctor, shouldn't I?" 
You reach for him, grabbing onto him before he could leave. "Jaim. Jaim?" 
He doesn't turn around but settles back into his seat. 
"Jam-Jam?" 
A sniffle fills the room. 
"Jamie, look at me." 
He shakes his head. You tighten your grip on his arm, ignoring the familiar burning sensation in your nose. "Jamie, I need you to look at me." 
"Why?" He sniffles, staring at you with his now, bloodshot eyes. "Were you ever going to tell me?" 
"Don't throw that question my way, Tartt." 
"No more, Jam-Jam?" 
"I was going to tell you." 
"What? After the birth?" 
"I'm more tempted to now." You wipe the stray tear that tipped past your eye lid before he could see. "I initially planned on telling you right when you broke up with me but, we see how well that turned out." 
“Wh- is that what you had been trying to do the whole time?” 
You nod and lean forward, drawing him into you; needing to comfort him and be comforted all at once. 
He moves closer to you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your hand against his face; something he hasn’t felt in what feels like, forever. He hadn’t realized you were wiping away his tears. 
“I wanted to figure out the best way to tell you because, I mean we hadn’t exactly talked about us having kids before and I kind of figured that with everything that went on with your dad. I thought it was going to make it hard for you to think that you could be a good dad. Which, I think is stupid.” 
He opens his mouth to ask what you mean until you continue. 
“I mean, how could you not be a good dad because personally I think you’d be absolutely fucking phenomenal.” 
“Yeah?” 
You nod, “big time. You’re already doing better than your dad.” 
“What do you mean?” 
You smile and sniff. “You’re not making any of the stupid decisions he has.” 
“I made one.” 
You tilt your head. “What was that?” 
“I broke up with you. I just-” He pulls back from you (something he does when he feels like he’s undeserving of something). “I thought- I thought you were pulling away to break up with me and you couldn’t figure out how to do it, so I-” 
“So, you thought breaking up with me first, was a better option?” 
He nods, scratching his head. 
“Come closer.” 
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he weakly argues. 
“Come here.” 
He scoots the chair closer. 
“I need you to be honest with me when I ask these questions, okay?” 
He nods. 
You sigh through your nose and reach for his hand. “Is there any part of you that does not want to be a part of either of our lives?” 
“No.” 
“Do you want to be with me?” 
“Yes.” 
“Are you going to leave any time soon?” 
“The fuck do you take me for? I’m not going to leave you ever,” he stands up and bends down, staring into your eyes before leaning down to kiss you. “Okay? I love you too fucking much to let you go again. I hated being away from you.” 
“Same here but, I’m really happy you’re here… even if it was because I fainted.” 
“Speaking of, why did that happen exactly?” 
“I- well- I hadn’t had anything-” 
“Let’s just cut the bullshit, have you been taking proper care of yourself since we were separated?” 
You shamefully shake your head. 
He doesn’t show his disappointment, but you know it’s there. 
“I’m sorry,” you sniffle. 
“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. Isn’t that- crying is stressful on the baby, ain’t it?” 
“Not so much- I mean, maybe?” 
“Okay, well.” He grabs your hands, bringing your attention to him. “Let’s take a few deep breathes so we can calm down for Baby Tartt.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Do do do doo.” 
“Listen to you. Guess I rubbed off on you, eh?” You roll your eyes, not believing that for a second. “Does any of what you’ve said within the last two minutes sound anything like what your dad could say?” 
“Not in the least bit.” 
“See, exactly. It further proves you’re different and how much you’ve grown from the cocky man who couldn’t care less about anyone else.” 
“Hey. That’s someone we don’t speak of.” 
“Of course,” you salute him. You two can barely keep your amusement to yourselves and break into a fit of smiles and giggles. 
He stares at you, watching as you wipe your cheeks and leans up, kissing your forehead before placing his on top of your head. “I was,” he hesitates to finish his sentence. 
You nod and cup his cheek, letting him know you’re there, a simple gesture to let him know you want to hear what he has to say. 
“-so scared when I saw you lying there unconscious.” 
Your heart drops at the way his voice cracks. “Jaim. Jaim. Look at me.” 
He shakes his head. 
You don’t push any further and instead opt for bringing him closer, letting him rest against your chest, squeezing you in a hug. 
It takes a few minutes before Jamie manages to calm himself down enough to revert back to your adorable boyfriend. “Oh, shit. I didn’t hurt the baby, did I?” He asks, now scared to touch you. 
“No. You didn’t.” 
You hold out your hand for him, “do you trust me?” 
He nods, “’course I do.” 
“Give me your hand.” 
He slowly inches his hand closer and closer to you. 
You huff and reach for him. “Are you ready?” 
He doesn’t move or make a noise as you place his hand over your belly. “Am I supposed to be feeling anything?” 
“Other than knowing the fact you are going to be a father soon enough, no. I’m not that far along for us to feel any kicking.” 
He bends down as a breath of relief escapes him. “Thank god, I thought I was supposed to feel kicking or something and I didn’t, which scared me the hell out of me because I thought he already hated me.” 
“He?” 
“I mean, hello,” he gestures to himself. You roll your eyes and take your hand back from him. “You’re so going to be cursed with girls.” “How can you say that?” 
“Have you met yourself?” 
“I have and we’re actually quite happy together, sorry for the late notice, sweetheart.” 
You close your eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. 
Ted peaks his head in through the door. “I see you two have talked things out? Hopefully, if not. No pressure. Well, maybe a little seeing as I have everyone waiting in the hall.” 
“Everyone?” You repeat. 
The coach nods. “Give me second.” He looks back over his shoulder, pretending to count, “one, two, four. Yep, everyone.” 
You place your hand on your forehead. “Suddenly the thought of everyone knowing makes me nauseous.” 
“Hey, hey. Look at me.” 
You turn your head and look at your favorite person ever… for now. 
“If we can get through the team being little shits and the press making unnecessary comments about our relationship, we can get through the team knowing.” 
“We can?” He gives you an affirmative nod, “we can.” 
“We can.” 
“Atta girl.” 
“Alright, guys. They said okay,” Ted waves everyone in. 
“I suddenly realize how many of you there actually are,” you comment. 
Sam, Dani, and Colin chuckled. 
“As captain, I feel like it’s my duty to ask,” Isaac leans closer to you, talking to you in a softer tone than his normal one. “How are you?” 
You smile, “I’m better now.” 
“Good, that’s what we like to hear. Ain’t that right, team?” 
“Yes, coach!” 
“And now I’m scared.” 
“Oh, don’t be scared especially when you’re carrying a special bundle of joy,” the mustached man points out. 
“Oh fuck.” 
“Something the matter, Roy?” Ted asks. 
“Yeah. She’s carrying Tartt’s baby.” 
“I’m pretty sure they covered that topic back in school but continue.” 
“There’s going to be a baby brought into the world soon.” 
“Yeah?” Ted glances over at Beard, who shrugs. 
“With his blood coursing through its veins,” he points to your ex-not-ex-boyfriend. 
It’s quiet for three seconds before everyone groans and rolls their eyes, they think about what it could be like with a baby Jamie. 
“Hey, hey now. Let’s not think about something as crazy as that because this baby is a good thing.” 
“Yeah?” Jamie whispers, glancing back at Ted, not letting go of your hand. 
“Yes, it is,” the coach nods. “You’re going to go through one of the many joys life brings you.” 
“What’s that?” 
“Fatherhood… that, may or may not mix with a lot of uncles and two aunts who decide they want to spend time with the little booger.” 
“Would one of those many figures happen to include you, coach?” 
“No,” Ted shakes his head. 
“Not at all, Beard.” 
The door opens and heads turn. 
“Hi, I’m just here to-” The nurse takes note of the number of people in the room. “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask anyone but the father and mother of the child to leave.” 
“Is it not believable that a woman could have this many boyfriends?” Jan asks. 
“Shut up.” A shoe aimed at his head, hits the wall and lands on the floor with a thud. 
The guys decide it’s time for them to leave, which lets you two see the few things the team has gotten, and it makes you tear up, freaking Jamie out. 
And he doesn’t want to admit it out loud, but it was really nice of them team to do. 
“Should we open some presents?” Ted softly asks, placing one in your lap. 
“Didn’t the nurse just kick you out.” 
“I’m your dad.”
 “We’re your dads,” Beard adds. 
You glance over at Jamie. 
He shrugs, not completely hating the idea of having these two around. “I would’ve liked to know about my new parents beforehand. What’s next? Roy’s my uncle.” 
“No, he’s a granddad more than anything,” Jamie chimes in. 
You wipe your cheeks and smile at him before gently pulling the tissue paper out of your way. You pull out a onesie that looks normal, until you unfold it and inspect it. You sniffle as you hold it up for Jamie to see. 
He doesn’t realize why you’re crying until he reads what the back of it, “Tartt 9”. He doesn’t feel the tears trickling down his cheeks until you wipe his cheeks. 
“Jaim?” 
He shakes his head and pulls you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head, over and over again. 
Ted smiles behind his phone. 
“We should probably give them some time alone.” 
“You think?” He asks. 
Beard nods. 
Ted sighs, “okie dokie.” 
They hold their hands up to wave, only to find your face squished against Jamie’s chest, barely able to wave them off. 
You and Jamie wind up opening every one of the other gifts, enjoying each other’s company after being apart for so long. 
“I think we should name it Jamie.” 
“Baby Tartt is not an it, it’s a baby,” you argue. 
“And we’re not naming them Jamie.” 
“Why not? It’s a good name.” 
“I’m not saying it’s a bad name but, we want our little pumpkin to be able to grow into their own, right?” 
“We-” He sighs, thinking about it, already knowing you were right. “Yeah.” 
“Good.” 
“Was that everything?” 
“I don’t know.” He glances over, finding a bag left on the floor, partially hidden so you couldn’t find it unless you were really looking. He grabs it and sets it in your lap. “What do you think it is?” 
“I don’t know,” you shrug and move it closer for him to open (feeling you’ve done enough of the unveiling with presents). 
He pulls a figure out of the bag. “A bike?” Jamie brows furrows together in confusion until he thinks about it. The light bulb goes off in his head, everything clicking together, and he smiles. 
“Is there a card?” 
“I hope so.” 
Now you’re confused. 
He pulls out what looks like a plain index card. “Free one learn how to ride a bike pass.” He chuckles. 
“I’m lost.” 
“Remember how I told you I had something funny I wanted to tell you a couple months ago, but I couldn’t because the shithead was making me train, even though Ted gave us the night off.” He huffs and sits back in the chair. 
“Okay, I don’t need the background information, just give me the synopsis.” 
“Right,” he straightens his back. “I taught Roy how to ride a bike in memory of his granddad.” 
“You did?” 
“Yeah,” he nods with a smile. 
“And he let you?” 
“Not without trying to hurt me but I did it.” 
“I’m so proud of you.” 
“Yea- really?” 
“Of course, I’m proud of you. You taught the world’s grumpiest man how to ride a bike and lived to tell the tale.” 
“I guess you’re right.” 
“Of course, I’m right.” 
“I hope the baby doesn’t get your cockiness.”
“My cockiness? What about yours?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart.” 
“You lie.” 
He fake gasps and slaps his hand on his chest. “I take offense to that.” 
“I’m not sorry.” 
“You should be. We don’t want this one’s first word to be a lie.”
“It wouldn’t, don’t be mean,” you whine. 
“I’m not. I’m just being me.” 
“Yeah, and that’s mean.” 
He smiles and shakes his head. 
You start folding a few of the blankets the guys got, feeling the need to do something. “Hey, look. They got one with sharks.” 
“We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.” 
“Girls can like boy things too.” 
“Do you really want to be asked if we have a boy or a girl every day.” 
“Don’t be mean.” You smile, holding it close to your chest. “I like it. Baby Tartt, do do doo doo. Baby Tart, do do doo doo.” 
He groans, “please stop.” 
“Never.” 
You stiffle a yawn. 
“Come on,” he takes away the few things on your lap and blanket from your hands. “You need to rest.” 
“But I don’t want to.” 
He smiles at the whining tone in your voice. “I know but it’ll do the two of you well.” 
“Fine,” you tell him with a pout. “But sit by me. I… I’ve missed you.” 
“How can I say no to my girlfriend?” Jamie settles beside you and lets you lay against his chest. 
As you sleep and he’s bored, searching through the hospital’s shitty channels, he stumbles upon something interesting, an old childhood show he used to watch. 
You open your eyes to hear the song you briefly sang earlier. 
“Doo doo. Baby Tartt, do do doo doo.” 
“Jam-Jam?” 
“Hey,” he clears his throat. “How are you feeling?” 
“Better. What were you doing?” 
He shrugs. 
You smile and snuggle back into him. “I won’t tell anyone.”
766 notes · View notes
sokkigarden · 8 months
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dancing with our hands tied (part iv)
jamie tartt x female reader // nsfw 18+ // fwb
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masterlist // read on ao3
summary: an emotional spiral sends you to jamie's doorstep… again
word count: 3k
this chapter took it OUT of me but i actually think this might be my fav chapter so far?? eeeee excited to share w you guys :) thanks to @hopefulromances for challenging me to write and trade feedback last night! sometimes u just need a lil extra motivation 😩🫶
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“Hey, you’re friends with Jamie, right?”
You looked up from where you were sitting at your desk to find Zach in the doorway. You were startled by his appearance. 
After getting drinks last week, you’d gone back to his place and fell into bed. He was fun and flirty and you both had a good time, but once it was late, he asked if you needed a ride home. You’d left after calling a ride, trying not to overthink it. It was just the beginning after all.
But it had been a week since then. Zach had been keeping his distance at work and hadn’t been responding to your texts that much. You figured he was busy with the new job, so you kept yourself busy as well. But that didn’t resolve the sinking feeling in your gut.
And now Zach was standing in front of you. Asking about Jamie Tartt of all things.
“Huh?” You knew you sounded dumb but you weren’t sure why Zach was asking if you were friends with Jamie.
“Did I do something to upset him?”
“What?” you sputtered. “Um, I don’t think so.”
Despite your confusion, you had also noticed Jamie’s coldness toward the new nutritionist. Richmond had a big facility and a lot of people employed, but after Ted Lasso brought his camaraderie and positivity to the entire club, it was easy to see when someone was being off-putting. 
Since last week, you hadn’t spoken to Jamie outside of your scheduled physio treatments. You weren’t typically alone during your appointments, and it was always after his ludicrous amount of training which left him tired, so you hadn’t had the chance to talk to him much.
“Maybe you’re reading too much into things?” you suggested. “He’s always been kinda rocky– you’ve heard the stories.”
You didn’t mention that those stories were from more than two years ago. You didn’t mention that he had been much better in recent months. 
“Maybe….” Zach replied, scratching the back of his head. 
You clearly didn’t have the answer he wanted, and the room fell into silence. You looked back at the work you had open on your computer screen, before taking a deep breath and being brave.
“Hey, so I had a fun time last week,” you started with a smile. “Would you, maybe, want to go out again?”
Zach suddenly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in the treatment room with you. You tried not to let the feeling in your gut sink even further, but you could feel the smile falling off your face.
“Oh, um, I’m gonna be busy for the next few weeks, so….” he trailed off.
You pressed your lips into a firm line, nodding once. You didn’t need to hear anything else; he was clearly not interested in pursuing you further. 
The insecurities that had lingered for a week resurfaced from the corners of your mind. You’d gotten your hopes up again, and he clearly wasn’t on the same page. It was fine. You were getting the brush off. Nothing you hadn’t experienced before.
You just wished you’d known this wasn’t going to be anything when you went into it. It had taken time, with each heartbreak, but you thought you had built up walls to prevent yourself from getting hurt again. 
“Okay, yeah,” you said, “Don’t worry about it.”
Zach gave you a smile that looked more like a grimace before leaving you alone.
How had everything gone to such shit?
There’s a reason you’d made it clear with Jamie that your relationship was just sex. If it was explicitly just sex, then you wouldn’t let yourself form an emotional attachment. No point in letting your brain drift into romantic feelings. It never worked out anyways.
Thinking of Jamie brought you back to the first thing Zach said. Was there a reason Jamie was being a dick to him? You hadn’t seen them interact much other than at the bar last week. While you had wanted to bite Jamie’s head off at first, by the time you had a chance to say something, he had left. There was a lot left unsaid.
And if here was anything that would get your mind off things, it would be bickering with Jamie. 
You checked your watch, realizing most of the players were gone by this time of evening. You finished up the report you were working on. It was probably time for you to head home too. 
And maybe you’d pay Jamie a visit on the way home, too.
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Not even twenty minutes later, you were knocking on Jamie’s door unannounced. You hadn’t been there since last week, but there were no cars except his parked outside, so you assumed he was the only one home. 
When he opened the door, he seemed surprised to see you, his face going through about half a dozen different expressions before settling on raising his eyebrow in question.
“Stop being a dick to Zach,” you said in lieu of greeting, walking into his home. 
Jamie shut the door and pursed his lips. He clearly hadn’t expected to be instantly berated, but it was easier to act mad at Jamie than deal with being upset with yourself.
“Aren’t I a dick to everyone?” he asked.
“No, you aren’t,” you rolled your eyes, and said in a smaller voice, “Not anymore.”
You crossed your arms. “But you are acting like an asshole to Zach. Everyone sees it.”
Jamie scoffed, shaking his head. 
“Sorry,” he said, with a defeated tone, “You can tell your boyfriend I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Now it was your turn to sound defeated, “He’s not my boyfriend.”
Jamie’s face perked up at that.
“Oh yeah? Thought you two were gettin’ cozy. Gettin’ drinks at Bones and Honey.” 
If it was anyone else, you’d think he sounded jealous, but there was no reason for Jamie to be jealous over you. He was just poking your open wound at this point.
You huffed out a breath of air, letting your arms fall to their sides. 
“He brushed me off,” you said, “If we didn’t work together, he probably would’ve ghosted me by now.”
All the frustration from the past few hours, the past few days, the past week, felt like it was bubbling to the surface. It wasn’t even like this was a new thing. You were just tired of the same thing always happening. Even when you tried to protect yourself, you still ended up getting hurt.
You were so focused on blinking rapidly to dispel the tears in your eyes that you didn’t notice Jamie wrapping you in a tight hug. You stood frozen for a moment, before wrapping your arms around his torso and nuzzling your face into his shoulder. 
The hug was so tight and warm and surprising, but it made you feel the best you’d felt in weeks, months. You didn’t even realize you were fully crying until you moved slightly and felt the wet patch of fabric on his shoulder. 
You pulled away a bit and tried taking some deep breaths, while Jamie brushed his fingers through your hair. As soon as he whispered your name, you pulled back further, still enveloped in his arms. 
“Sorry, sorry, I know this isn’t what we normally do,” you said. Your relationship consisted of arguments and sex, not tears and warm hugs. 
He shook his head, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “What’s wrong?” 
The tender tone, the soft look in his eyes, the delicate physical contact, made you start crying all over again. He gently led the two of you over to the couch, sitting down with you in his lap. 
“I just–” you sniffled, and it all came spilling out. “I just don't know what I'm doing ever. Everything I do seems wrong. I try to go after the things I want and it's never enough. I give too much, and yet not enough, and- and it's all shit.” 
Jamie’s brows furrowed together as you stared at his face. You focused on the line of his jaw and the grooves of his nose instead of his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes. His hand gently grasped your chin to direct your gaze.
“You’re okay,” he murmured, as you held eye contact. “Things are hard, but they’ve always been hard, and you’ve made it through. You deserve good things. You’ll get them. You have them.” 
Those words were tender and sweet and all you wanted to hear, but a part of you refused to let yourself believe them.
“Yeah, okay,” you rolled your eyes lightly. “I guess.”
He let out a huff of frustration, before rearranging you to straddle his thighs. His arms squeezed your shoulders, but not in a domineering way; it felt soft, comforting. 
His hands were warm as they ran across your skin to your cheeks, holding your face to keep your eyes connected. He wiped the tears from your cheeks. His face held a hundred emotions and you weren’t sure what to make of any of it. 
“You have me,” he said.
You took a sharp intake of breath at his words. The words burned into your mind.
It was true. You did have Jamie. And he had you. In some sort of way. And for now, it would be enough.
He placed a soft kiss to your forehead, and then to both of your cheeks, lingering so close you could feel his exhales and swore you could hear your heartbeats in the space between. 
Then, he seized your mouth in a kiss, and it was like no other kiss you’d shared with him. While others were passionate and full of angry emotions, this was full of something raw, something untethered to your pre-existing idea of Jamie.
As you explored each other's mouths, you found yourself grinding against his lap, letting a moan out as you felt overcome with emotion. His hands ran through your hair, and you flexed your fingers under the fabric of his shirt, feeling the expanse of warm skin on his stomach. 
You tugged his shirt over his head, which broke the kiss, but you took the moment to take a breath. He kissed your cheek, your jaw, your neck, as he moved to remove your shirt as well. 
“Fuck, angel,” he said, and it felt like you were seeing each other for the first time.
It didn’t take long to remove more clothes, explore more of each other, before you finally sat down, feeling his dick slide into you. 
For a brief minute, you were frozen, breathing in each other’s air, staring at each other, taking in the moment. Then, he’s rocking into you and you’re meeting his thrusts, but it's slow, it's choppy in a heavenly way that you didn’t realize could exist between the two of you. 
“This feel good, yeah?” he asked, and you replied with a whimper of an affirmation. “Tell me this dick makes you feel good.”
“It does,” you managed to say, “You make me feel…”
He moved his hips in a way that made you see stars, leaving the last of your sentence unfinished. You scraped your nails through his hair, hearing something like a growl at the back of his throat. The sound spurred you on, rocking your hips with more determination.
“That’s it, baby, that’s a good girl,” he panted, reaching to connect your lips once more. 
You wanted to swallow him whole, wanted this moment to never end. His words were hot, but also flooded you with a different kind of warmth. You wondered if he even knew what he was saying. 
He tore his lips away after a moment and while you tried to gasp for breath, his next words made you nearly come on the spot.
“My good girl,” he whispered across your ear, before gripping your hips and focusing on where the two of you were connected.
The possessiveness in his voice tracked fire through your veins. 
You were close. You had to be. Despite how much you wanted to make this last forever, the heightened emotions were making things too much. You were feeling everything so intensely. 
He knew you were close, as he said, “Hey, look at me.”
You caught his eyes, watching each other’s faces as you finally came. Your jaw hung open, gripping his shoulders. You clenched around him as you rode out your high, and he came soon after. 
You sat there for a few moments, listening to your breathing and heartbeats mixing together. 
His hands drifted across your back in lazy motions as you nuzzled your cheek into the crook between his shoulder and neck. Jamie’s heartbeat was in his throat, his pulse racing. You could barely process everything you were feeling. What must he be feeling?
You had definitely calmed down after your spiral earlier this evening. Being with Jamie seemed to make everything else melt away. 
He readjusted you on his lap and pulled up his underwear. He grabbed his shirt from earlier and slipped it over your head. He cleared his throat, but didn’t fully pull away from you.
“I know you usually leave but,” he picked you up as he stood from the couch, “Not lettin’ you go home and spiral more. You’re staying tonight. Come on.”
He led you upstairs to his room, grabbing some new clothes from the dresser before guiding you into the bathroom. 
You didn’t do anything as you watched him turn on the shower and wait until the temperature was hot. It had been a while since you’d been in a shower with someone else, but you had a feeling this wasn’t going to be like those times. 
As soon as the shower was a good temperature, he stepped in, beckoning you to join him. He was offering without forcing you. You fought the smile creeping onto your face at his gentle expression. 
He guided you under the stream of water, combing his hands through your hair and lathering it with shampoo. The entire bathroom filled with the familiar smell of his hair products, and you felt a sense of satisfaction at knowing your own hair would smell like his soon. 
You took turns washing each other, nearly silent the entire time. It was an intimate act, and you found yourself clinging to Jamie maybe even more than earlier. 
You could feel the trails of tears across your cheeks from earlier wash away, but you could now barely remember why you’d been crying. Over some boy at work? You were all wrapped up in Jamie in the present moment. 
But this is what you’d been afraid of all along. This thing with Jamie was no longer just sex to you. And you’d known from the beginning, that if you let yourself fall for Jamie, it was over. He would ruin everyone else for you. 
What, with his silly outfits, and funny yet frustrating conversations, and the way he seemed to know your body even better than you did. 
You doubted this was anything else for him, you didn’t fit the profile of people he dated, you told yourself not to get your hopes up. You had shoved those feelings in a drawer at the back of your mind and hoped if you told yourself it was just sex, you wouldn’t fall for him.
But somewhere between the arguments and the sex, you held real conversations with him, confided in him, looked forward to seeing him each day.
Maybe it was already too late. The thought had your eyes welling up with more tears, but luckily you were facing the shower wall, as he rinsed the conditioner out of your hair. 
By the time the both of you were done, the tears had subsided, and you turned around to give him a watery smile. 
When you stepped out of the shower, Jamie wrapped you in a fluffy towel and your heart squeezed at the domesticity of it all. 
“Better?” he asked.
You nodded. You were feeling a lot better. Even if you were finally acknowledging the romantic feelings wedged deep inside of you. Even if those romantic feelings ended up being your downfall.
He grabbed the clothes he’d brought into the bathroom and divided them between you both. Two pairs of sweat shorts and two t-shirts. You knew you were going to drown in the fabric before you even put them on. You were proven right as he slid the shorts up your legs and tied off the drawstring to keep them up. You both chuckled at the sight.
After brushing your teeth, stealing some of Jamie’s skincare, and drying your hair, you didn’t have any objections as you both got into bed. He pulled you halfway across the mattress, to wrap his arms around you in the middle of the bed. 
“I’ve got training with Roy at four a.m., but I’ll be back before you wake up. Usually get back for breakfast around seven.” Jamie mumbled as he turned off the bedside lamp and wrapped his arms around you.
“Four in the morning?” you asked, “What are you going to do, bury a body?”
He chuckled, “Wouldn’t put it past Grandad, but no, we usually just go for a run.”
You shook your head at the absurdity. Even though you worked at the football facility, it was easy to forget that Jamie was a professional athlete when it was just the two of you, tucked away beneath his sheets.
As you felt yourself getting sleepy, you traced the tattoos across Jamie’s forearm in the faint light, feeling his breathing deepen as he drifted off to sleep. The lull of his exhales across your earlobe soon brought sleep to you as well.
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Somewhere Only We Know // J. Tartt x f!reader
Hello and welcome to a new series that has spawned into my head in the past three days and won’t leave me alone! I refuse to apologize :)
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When Rebecca and Keeley hired you as Richmond’s social media manager, you never expected your life to change like this. You thought this role would be distant, quiet, and unassuming, but the charismatic coach, friendly players, and amazing admin team sucked you into the raucous circus that was AFC Richmond.
When Jamie Tartt, asshole extraordinaire and certifiable manwhore, is brought back onto the team, you struggle to see him past the veneer of media and rumors that has tainted your vision of him. Will he be able to prove to you that he isn’t as bad as everyone says? And what happens when he begins to chip away at your ironclad walls?
A series of vignettes and one-shots in chronological order starting in season two.
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
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axelsagewrites · 7 months
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Jamie Tartt*Phone Call
Pairing: jamie x f!reader
Day three: phone sex with Jamie Tartt – even though he loved to play the long nights away from you were almost impossible to bare so he often found himself hitting call at late hours of the night
Word count: 1226
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Warnings: phone sex, teasing, nude pics/sexting, dom/sub vibes, sex toys, vibrator, nipple play, smut 18+
Masterlist Here
Kinktober List Here
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Jamie didn’t know how to handle this. You’d been sending him pictures all weekend. It was the first time you’d not been able to make an away game and Jamie didn’t know what was worse; not being able to touch you or the fact he knew with each snapchat notification you’d sent another, but he couldn’t check. Not yet at least however the moment the match was done, won by Jamies frustration and libido, he soon rushed to his hotel room.
“Whatca think you’re playing at luv?” he said as soon as you picked up on the second ring.
You giggled from the other end of the phone from where you sat in your shared bed which felt empty without him, “Whatever do you mean sweetheart?”
“Think being a tease is so funny huh?” he asked, his voice lower than usual as he collapsed into a chair and began going through the snaps, you’d sent him. Jamie groaned when he saw a pic of you in his jersey from behind, back arched, and ass proudly on display. It wasn’t long till his hand slipped beneath his shorts. “Not gonna be laughing when I get home are you,” he said, palming his boner through his boxers.
“Oh yeah?” you smirked, your bratiness evident even through the phone, “How not?”
“Not gonna be able to laugh when I’m fucking that pretty lil mouth of yours,” Jamie said, slowly jacking off through the boxers, “That’ll wipe the smirk off those pretty lips,” he said, his voice darkening as he slipped his hands under the final layer of fabric.
“Maybe I’d like that,” you teased, your hand slipping under the sheets unbeknownst to a very wound-up Jamie. Your fingers trailing up your wet slit before finding your clit, biting your lip lightly as you rubbed slow circles.
Jamie groaned, his head falling back as he desperately tried to keep his grip on the phone, “Bet you would as well. Shame you’re only all talk on the phone,” he said, and you knew it was true no matter how much you would deny it, “Don’t get all shy now princess,” Jamie said, slowing his speed so he didn’t blow already like a teenage boy. “You touching yourself?” he asked and imagining the way you’d be blushing right now.
“Maybe,” you stuttered out, your hand pausing as Jamies chuckled.
“Good girl,” Jamie said, his voice deep as he sped up his pace yet again, “Wish it was me touching you though. Why don’t you use that little present I got you last week?”
Even without him here you could feel your skin heat up. You quickly found the sleek pink vibe Jamie had got you as a going away present. For a moment your mind wandered, remembering how he had tested it out on you that night, “You still there love?” his voice snapped you from your thoughts.
“Um yeah was just looking. Found it,” you said as you started to turn it on.
“Uhuh,” Jamie chuckled, imagining how you looked right now and grinning when he heard it buzzing, “Now be a good girl and let me hear what it can do,” he said.
You shivered at his words but did as you were told. You whined when you trailed it up your pussy, almost whimpering when it grazed over your clit, “Fuck you sound so good,” Jamie said, his own hand speeding up, “Bet you look even fucking better,”
“Not as good as you,” you said, trying to sound seductive but the whimper only made Jamie laugh.
“Doubt that love,” he said thinking back to all the cute little outfits you had sent him, “Whatcha wearing?” he asked.
You glanced down at your choice of clothing and smiled lightly, “One of your jerseys,” you said, and you could hear him suck in his breath over the phone, “and nothing else,” you added, smirking slightly at the way he groaned.
“Fuck baby you’re killing me here,” Jamie moaned, feeling his cock get even harder if that was at all possible at this point, “Why don’t you turn that thing up yeah? You’re too quiet baby,” he said, his voice low. Without questioning you’d press the button, and a quiet moan left your lips, “Cmon baby,” he said, smirk evident through the phone, “don’t be shy baby, let me hear you,”
His words send shivers up your spin as your legs tightened around the vibe, holding it in place with your thighs so your hand could sneak up your shirt, “Fuck Jamie, I miss you,” you whined, rubbing your hardened nipples and wishing it was his hands instead.
“Miss you too baby,” Jamie said, feeling his orgasm building up after too many pent-up nights, “Miss your fucking body. Those perfect tits of yours. can’t wait to get back to you. can’t wait to fuck you. fuck I’m not even gonna be able to make it to the bedroom,”
“Yeah?” you asked, closing your eyes to imagine everything he was saying.
“Yeah,” he said, doing the same, “Never know might just fuck you right there on the couch,”
“Then what?” you asked.
Jamie groaned, head rolling back as he tried not to finish as he spoke, but little did, he know your own orgasm was soon building as you began to squeeze your nipples, rolling them between your fingers like Jamie liked to do, “Then I’m gonna take you to the bedroom. Tear off whatever skimpy little thing you’re wearing baby. Then fuck you till the sun comes up. You still touching yourself?” Jamie asked, snapping you from your daydream.
“Yeah,” you said, your voice coming out more like a moan as small moans kept escaping your lips, “Think I’m gonna- “you started to say before you were cut off by your own moans.
“Turn it up,” Jamies voice was husk and commanding and when you tried to say you couldn’t he almost snapped, “Do it,” he commanded, “Cmon you’ve been so good for me so far. I know you can do it baby,”
You whimpered, your hand slipping down to press it one last time. “Fuck,” you whined loudly, the vibrations sent shocks down your spine, your body twitching as your orgasm quickly approached.
“That’s it baby,” Jamie coached, his own hand speeding up as he chased his own release. “Fuck you sound so fucking good right now,” he groaned.
“I can’t wait any longer,” you whined, your eyes clenched tightly shut as you felt ready to explode.
“Then don’t,” Jamie husked, his hips bucking up into his own hand, “Let go baby,” he said, and his words toppled you over the edge. You didn’t try hold back the filthy moans leaving your lips as you came from just your boyfriends voice but as you were coming down from your high you heard Jamie reach his, muttering curses over and over until you assumed he was done.
Jamie looked down at the mess he had made, making a mental note to add it to your punishment list for when he got back, “You okay babe?” you asked, slightly panting as you caught your breath.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Jamie said, making you laugh as you pulled the covers around yourself.
“I love you too baby,” you giggled and for a moment missing him became slightly easier.
A/N: had to repost this since it never uploaded for some reason yesterday so sorry for the wait for anyone following my kinktober
Tags: @angelbarnes-rogers
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danistartt · 1 year
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Homesick- Jamie Tartt
pairings: jamie tartt x reader, roy kent, ted lasso warnings: none. ithink other than language about: request!! jamie tartt is homesick
Jamie has rarely been hesitant to leave for a game.
But there’s something sick at the pit of his stomach when he has to say goodbye to you today, even when you assure him that it’s for so, so little time that it won’t matter. That he won’t miss you with all the excitement of a match. You set your palms against his cheeks and urge his attention to you, tired determination widening your droopy eyes when you tell him that you’re proud of him, sadness angling your features as you apologize for not being able to be there in person to cheer him on.
He smiles and thinks that he believes you.
There’s a painful tug at his heart when he has to leave for real this time, treasuring the warm line your marriage finger grazes along the lobe of his ear. He kisses you, opening his eyes too soon when he pulls away and catching a glimpse of you at your sweetest: still half-submerged in his affection, face softer than he’s seen it.
You are raw in the morning, still a little rumpled from your bed and an inch away from sleep. You got up early for him today. Let your forehead bounce against the passenger window so you could say your farewells face-to-face. He doesn’t think he’s ever had a person care about him like that. Sacrifice even the little things with great pleasure because it’s him.
“You guys’re gonna do great,” you murmur, arms tight around his neck. You squeeze once more before pulling back, giving him a happy, sleepy smile that he takes with him. “I’ll have a celebration ready when you lot get back.”
“Can’t wait,” he tells you with a cheeky wink, watching the amusement in your eyes wake a little bit more.
“Roy’s giving me the stink eye.”
“That’s just how he looks, babe,” he defends. “‘Nd if he’s lookin’ at anyone, it’s me.”
“No,” you say. “He likes you now, Jamie.” The way you say his name is so lovely. All curved and soft and smooth with love. You stifle a yawn and pull him in again. “I’ll see you soon. Behave, okay? I promise I’ll be watching the game on the telly.”
“I always do,” he defends.
“Roy’ll tell me,” you remind playfully. “I think he might write complaints down when you get a little too cocky.”
“I promise,” he gives in.
“You’re going to do amazing,” you tell him again, fully believing it.
“You know it.” He pecks the skin below your eye, finally walking toward the bus.
Roy grunts at you in greeting once Jamie’s gone inside, arms crossed in front of his chest. Ted yells a hello. Beard nods. You wave, continuing to stand in the parking lot until the bus is gone.
-
Jamie worries he’s ill an hour before the game.
You’re busy with the seminar you couldn’t miss and he doesn’t want to tell anybody, but he doesn’t have to with the team he has.
“Jamie, wanna come on over and have a chat?” Ted asks him, smiling.
Jamie shrugs, feeling like lead weighs him down when he stands.
Ted leads him into a hallway and rocks on his heels expectantly. “Y’wanna tell me what’s wrong, or do you want me to guess?”
Jamie scrubs a rough hand down his face. “I dunno, coach.” Ted furrows his brows. “I’ve never…” He sighs frustratedly. “I dunno what it is.”
“Do you not feel well?”
“I feel off.” Jamie shrugs, frustrated. “Like I forgot to do something. I’m all tingly and shit.”
Ted hums. “You a little homesick? I felt a helluva lot like that the first few months I came here. Still feel it when I get into a car on the wrong side.”
“I’ve never missed it before. What’s there to miss? I’ve a bed at me hotel. I like leavin’ and seein’ all the sights.”
Ted scratches his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe you don’t miss your house, Jamie.”
Jamie shakes his head in confusion. “I’m sorry, coach, what?”
“Home ain’t always a building, Jamie,” Ted explains, squeezing his shoulder before heading back inside the locker room.
Jamie stands, perplexed. “The fuck?”
“He’s fucking sayin’ you miss Y/N,” Roy barks out of nowhere. “You’ve never been at a game away from her. You miss her,” he explains. “It happens.”
“Why didn’t he just say that, then?” Jamie complains.
“Substance. Too obvious,” Roy shrugs. “Call her. Stop being fuckin’ ‘tingly,’ Tartt.”
Jamie is left alone once again, processing.
Ted called him homesick, which Jamie opposes. He couldn’t care less about the place where he lived. Everything in it was chosen by another person years ago, and the space is bland otherwise, with only one framed picture of the both of you hanging up on the living room wall.
Still, he damn well yearned to be back among his stupid, minimalistic furniture and monochromatic aesthetic. Why?
Roy said it was you and Jamie is inclined to agree. When he pictures his living room with his dumb couch, you’re laying on it. Your trinkets and colorful items allay impersonal corners. You’re making a wonderful mess in his kitchen. You’re softening clinical sheet edges. You’re the only warm thing that decorates his walls.
He misses you. He’s homesick for you.
He hates it when Roy is right (but he’s getting used to it), especially when it’s concerning something Jamie didn’t expect, something unfamiliar.
His phone pings, lighting up with your contact picture and a text message asking how he is.
He’s never had a home to miss, he thinks. He’s a little happy to have one. He’s elated it’s you.
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pandorasprongs · 10 months
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JAMIE TARTT | it's nice to have a friend.
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MASTERLIST:
i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)
PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories. CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car. CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me. CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in. INTERLUDE - are we still friends? CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart. CHAPTER FIVE - this is what it feels like. CHAPTER SIX - it all makes sense when i'm with you. EPILOGUE - you and me, always and forever.
PLAYLIST:
some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!
1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift 2. mess it up by gracie abrams 3. new year's day by taylor swift 4. dorothea by taylor swift 5. you & me by the wannadies 6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon 7. bite the hand by boygenius 8. still into you by paramore 9. feels like by gracie abrams 10. angels like you by miley cyrus 11. cardigan by taylor swift 12. daylight by taylor swift 13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator 14. first time by lucy dacus 15. gold rush by taylor swift 16. true blue by boygenius 17. promise by laufey 18. two people by gracie abrams 19. bags by clairo 20. miss me by zeph 21. just because by sadie jean 22. two weeks ago by maisie peters 23. back to december by taylor swift 24. supercut by lorde 25. fool by frankie cosmos
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wlntrsldler · 4 months
Note
Hiiiiii!!!! I love Apple Pie by Lizzy McAlpine!! Can I get Jamie Tartt to apple pie?
apple pie | jamie tartt
based on the song apple pie by lizzy mcalpine
description: jamie gets insecure sometimes, but having you with him helps.
pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (f!reader she/her)
warnings: lots of kissing, self-doubt, insecurities, mention of jamie's dad
word count: 2631
ted lasso requests are open | main masterlist
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When Jamie first got into a relationship with you, he knew that both of your busy schedules would pose a problem down the road. With his football career seemingly reaching new peaks every season and your acting career taking off after being cast in what is being called “the film that revived the dying genre of romantic comedies,” the amount of time you get to spend with each other decreased significantly since the start of your relationship. 
You first met Jamie halfway through his returning season at AFC Richmond. You met him at a birthday dinner party for a friend of a friend where you relentlessly teased him for his ridiculous, but outstanding performance, on Lust Conquers All. You had originally praised him for it when you were fully under the impression that he was putting on an act. You didn’t find out that he was just being his prick-ish self, albeit his younger prick-ish self, until about four months into your relationship when he embarrassedly admitted it to you. That’s how you found yourself rewatching the entire season together on his couch until 2 hours before Roy knocked on his door for his training session. 
At first, Jamie thought you were making fun of him. His insecurities would still peek in here and there and sometimes he couldn’t help but worry that you’d see him as nothing more than a dumb footballer like everyone else does. He quickly realized, though, that while you were losing your mind laughing at how he acted in the show, making fun of him was the last thing you wanted to do. 
“Why’d ya wanna watch this shit anyways?” he grumbled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. “It’s just poopy. ‘M not even like that anymore.” 
“I know,” you sat up, pausing the show when you heard his voice crack. You knew the tone of Jamie’s voice when he was cracking jokes and when he was happy, and this voice wasn’t one or the other. You turned your body to face him, “I know you aren’t like this anymore, I just thought it would be funny.” 
“I dunno, I suppose it doesn’t make much sense to me.” 
“What doesn’t?” you questioned. “Why I want to watch it?” 
“Yeah,” Jamie replied. His eyes were looking at everything but at you. He was playing with the threads of the blanket loosely draped over his legs. He rubbed his nose with his balled-up fist. “Why does it matter how I was before you? I’m better now, yeah? Unless you don’t think so...” 
“Oh, love,” you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you. You were so engrossed in the episode on the TV that you didn’t realize how uncomfortable Jamie was feeling about the whole situation. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been paying more attention to how you were feeling about this. We can stop watching it.” 
“Yeah, I’d like that.” He hummed, tugging on your hoodie to pull you closer to him. “I just don’t want you to see how I used to be and realize you don’t want to be with a prick like that, even if I have changed, you know? I don’t know… I just thought that with ya, I’d have a fresh start.” 
“Jamie Tartt, enough of that now,” You took over being the big spoon, which made Jamie nuzzle into your neck contently, “You have changed. You’re an amazing man and the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I only wanted to watch this show because it’s such a shitty show that it’s nice to just unwind. When I watch this Jamie on the screen, my brain can’t even comprehend that it’s you.” 
“You don’t think I’m a prick anymore, yeah?” Jamie asked again, hoping that he’d get a confirmation, “Like you wouldn’t leave me over that?”
You’ve learned over the past few months things about Jamie– one of which is that he needs to be told positive things or else he’d spiral. The thing is, if you could go into his mind and turn off that control box that spews self-doubt and insecurities to him, you would do it in a heartbeat. But since you can’t, you were more than happy to shower him with love and adoration in hopes that your voice can drown the rest of them out. 
“Never,” you placed your lips on his in a soft kiss. “You’d have to work a hell of a lot harder to get rid of me.” 
“I’m working double overtime just so you’d keep me, love,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. His hand reached for the remote to turn the TV off to leave you both in the glow of the floor lamp in his living room. 
“You don’t have to work hard for that.” 
Jamie had gotten used to having you around his flat. He would leave for 4 AM training with Roy with you on his bed, often naked, then return at around 6:30 AM to shower and join you back in bed for another hour before you woke up. He’d wake up for the second time that day with you drawing patterns on his chest and a soft smile on your face. He’d lean over and place a loving kiss on your lips and he’d feel prepared to start the day. 
You were filming a show in London for three months, which meant that for three months, this was Jamie’s life. In between projects, you stayed at his place. For two weeks after the wrap party, you came home to him, visited him at the facility, and went to all the team outings, home games, and away games with him. He was with you 24/7 and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He didn’t realize how he took it for granted until filming ended.
Three weeks ago, you flew to New York City to begin filming another movie. With training and games, Jamie hasn’t been able to take time off to visit you, and with filming just starting, you couldn’t fly back to Richmond either. 
Jamie was doing fine– as fine as someone can be when their daily routine was abruptly disrupted. He was proud of you. The premise of the movie seemed perfect for you and was a seamless continuation of the romantic comedy trend you were on. People were buzzing for your next project, especially after your last one was so well received. He was so proud of you…. But he also missed you. 
During the three weeks that you were gone, you and Jamie still texted each other constantly and FaceTimed everyday, despite the crazy time difference. He wanted to make it work, and so did you, so you did what you could to stay in touch. While not being able to hold you and kiss you for three weeks was killing Jamie, he was glad he was still able to spend time with you. Things didn’t get to Jamie until Jan Maas made an off-handed comment about it.
All of them were packing up after training, feeling extremely antsy with the Man City match on the horizon, Jamie especially. There were a lot of things on his mind, including the possibility of seeing his father, who he hadn’t seen since Wembley, and playing against his old team was always a trip. In short, he wasn’t feeling his best and the fact that you weren’t nearby made it worse. 
“Jamie, we have not seen Y/N in a while,” Sam noted, “Is everything okay with you two?” 
“She’s filming a movie in New York, bruv,” Isaac replied before Jamie could speak, “Right, Tartt?” 
Jamie nodded, putting his shirt over his head, “Yeah. She’ll be gone for a few months, at least.” 
“I do not know how you’re gonna survive, Jamie,” Jan Maas said. “You are so clingy when it comes to her. I don’t think you can make it all those months.” 
The rest of the team chuckled at Jan’s teasing tone, but Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Was he clingy? He frowned as he continued to put his things away. He picked up his phone from his cubby, smiling when he received a few messages from you while he was at training. As he was about to respond, Jan’s comment made him stop in his tracks. 
Maybe it would be best to let you have a night to yourself. You had a life outside of him and you deserve to be able to live it without having him cling to you all the time. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, slipping his phone in his back pocket, before walking out of the locker room to head to his place. 
When you woke up to no text from Jamie, you assumed that he was just worn out from training and didn’t have the energy to reply. You’ve seen the intense training he went through, so you wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. But as the day went on and there was still no word from Jamie– you’d even checked the timezone clock on your phone to make sure you weren’t being unreasonable– you began to worry. FaceTime calls went unanswered and instead, you were met with the Apple automated response, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” 
To: lover boy <3
“Hi, love. Got some exciting news, you free to chat? Xx” 
By the time you were boarding the plane to Manchester, Jamie still hadn’t texted you back. After begging the producers to give you a week off filming, they finally agreed. You asked for this week in particular, knowing that you wanted to be there for Jamie for the Man City match. There was a lot on the line for Jamie and you wanted to be there for him no matter what happened. 
The entire plane ride back to England was filled with dread and anxiety. It wasn’t like Jamie to not respond. Unless he was at a game, training, or sleeping, but even then he had a special ringtone for you that wakes him up whenever you called, he always replied to your messages as soon as possible. When you landed, everything that could go wrong went wrong. Your plane was stuck on the tarmac for an hour because there were problems with the gate. Your luggage got delayed which left you sitting at baggage claim for another 45 minutes. When you finally arrived at the hotel the team was staying at– shoutout to Ted for being yours and Jamie’s number one supporter and telling you where they were staying– Jamie was nowhere to be found. 
You dragged your luggage to Jamie’s room, plopping on the bed tiredly. You glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. 9:28 PM. Ted mentioned that there was a 10 PM curfew so you hoped that tonight was not one of the nights where Jamie decided to break the rules. Ted also mentioned that Jamie has not been himself lately, which did nothing to soothe your panic. You hopped in the shower to rinse yourself from the long day you’ve had. You did your night routine and dug into Jamie’s bag to retrieve his AFC Richmond hoodie. Before putting it on, you held it up to your nose, sighing as your senses were filled with Jamie. You missed him. 
It was 9:57 PM when you heard the door unlock. You were on his bed, scrolling aimlessly on social media, when you saw him. You sat up, shutting your phone off. He walked in with his head low. His shoulders were hunched over a bit, but he looked okay. He looked better than how Ted described him. 
He kicked off his shoes, before looking at you on his bed, startled. His eyes widened, first in fear that there was someone in his room, then in surprise that it was you in his room. His lips curved down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed in sadness. 
“Baby,” you whispered, moving to the side of the bed to make room for him. 
Jamie knew that he needed to not be clingy. He didn’t want to bother you too much. He was trying to be cool. But when you called him “baby,” with that voice, in his hoodie on his bed, his resolve crumbled to pieces.
He ran to you, nearly tackling you off the bed when he engulfed you in his arms. He buried his face in your neck, a mix of your lotion and the cologne he sprays on his clothes surrounding him. You cradled the back of his head, mumbling how much you missed him into his shoulder. Jamie could cry. He hasn’t seen you in so long, but here you are now. 
“What are you doing here?” He asked when he finally pulled away from you. He couldn’t stray too far though. His arm was still wrapped around you while you cuddled into his side. “I thought you were in New York.” 
“Well, if you bothered to answer my texts,” you trailed off, faking a voice of sadness. You poked his side, “You would’ve seen that I had exciting news. The producers gave me a week off after begging them since I first got to New York and this week is perfect because I know tomorrow’s match is gonna be a lot for you. I wanted to be here for you, whatever the outcome is.” 
“Oh.” Jamie was speechless. Here he was ignoring you like a prick while you were planning to come back just to be here for him. He didn’t deserve you. 
“Yeah,” you continued, “If tomorrow we celebrate, I’ll be here making sure that you drink enough water so that your hangover the next day won’t be too much. If tomorrow we try to never think about it again, I’ll sit next to you on the bus in silence holding your hand and when we get home we can do the same thing.” 
Home. You were here and he felt like he was home. 
“I missed you so much,” Jamie sighed. He kissed you all over your face, giving your lips extra attention. “‘M sorry if I was bothering you by texting and calling so much over the last few weeks… I just missed you loads and I wanted to talk to you.” 
“Baby, you didn’t text and call me enough,” you played with his hair, running your fingers through the strands. “If it was possible, I would stay on a call with you all day, everyday. Can’t get enough of ya.” 
He smiled, his worries disappearing with every word you said, “Yeah?”
“Oh yeah, I love you, Jamie Tartt.” You kissed him deeply. “Couldn’t get tired of you even after a million years. Now, catch me up! Tell me everything.” 
Jamie, feeling like himself again, began to tell you everything you missed over the last few weeks– meeting Sam’s father, meeting Ted’s mum, Roy and Keeley, and seeing his mum earlier that night, which is why he came home late. He talked about how a visit to Georgie and Simon helped lift his spirits, and how Georgie was gushing about you and asking him when you’ll come to visit again. 
Then he talked about his fears for tomorrow and everything that’s been piling up on him ever since you left. As he spoke, you rubbed his back comfortingly, a small reminder that you’ll always be here no matter what. 
Jamie knew that he still had a lot of work to do. He knew that his insecurities could get the best of him sometimes and it can cause him to push back on people who love and care about him, but he was trying. You believed in him and that’s all he needed.
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illiterateaffairs · 8 months
Text
behind the scenes chapter five | fifty fake dates
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masterlist | prev | next
pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (ted lasso)
rating: T
word count: 6,388
summary: you and jamie face the biggest test of your fake relationship so far; a double date with keeley and roy
a/n: this is once again a bit later than i had hoped to post, but this is my favorite chapter so far so i hope its worth the wait! i cannot wait to hear what you all think, especially in regards to the reader's scenes with roy and keeley :)
Jamie could be a very cocky person, but he could honestly say, in a completely unbiased way that you two were absolutely crushing this fake dating thing. 
Not only had your movie premiere hard launch gone incredibly well the other week, you’d had many successful fake dates since. You’d been seen on various breakfast, lunch and dinner dates, as well as on walks together and even outside your flat again. You’d also posted a couple Instagram posts and stories here and there for good measure, slowly ramping up in a way that felt natural to a real relationship. 
The public was eating it up. From fans to journalists, everyone thought you were adorable together. Jamie knew for a fact no one in the world suspected this was all for show.
Unfortunately, the pitfall of doing such a good job meant that not only had his coworkers bought the whole ordeal, but demanded to see it up close. And while fooling Roy and Keeley was a major cornerstone of the whole plot, he wasn’t exactly prepared for what Keeley had in store for them.
“A double date?” Jamie squints at her, after she’d cornered him in the locker room at the end of training one evening.
“Yeah, doesn’t that sound like fun!” Keeley nods, “It was actually Roy’s idea.”
“No!” Roy exclaims raspily from where he was sitting in the coaches office. The three of them were conveniently the last ones to leave for the night.
Keeley shakes her head, “You were the one who said you wanted to meet her.” She turns back to Jamie, “And I for one think a night out, just the four of us, would be a perfect way for all of us to get to know each other.”
Jamie hesitates. Again, he knows that’s the whole point of this charade. But he hadn’t been mentally prepared for when the opportunity to show you off actually came.
“I mean, I’m having dinner with her tonight,” he starts out slowly, “There’s no guarantee she’ll be available, you know, her being a hugely popular and successful actress and everything. But I’ll bring it up.”
Keeley smiles, “That’s all I ask!”
Jamie gives her a tight smile, before bidding her and Roy a good night. 
Well, this should be fun.
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“Hi, sorry I’m late. Filming ran long,” you say hurriedly as you breeze over to the table Jamie is sitting at. Despite there not being any photographers in this dimly lit restaurant, you feel the need to press a kiss onto his cheek, and he doesn’t seem to mind at all.
Jamie shrugs as you slide into the seat across from him, “No worries.”
You sigh, and mutter quietly, “Well, isn’t the point of this whole thing to be seen entering places together?”
“It's fine, really,” he insists. And then with a smirk, “We’ll be seen leaving together and I think that’s a little more important.” 
You can’t help but chuckle as you finally catch your breath from rushing in. As you’re collecting yourself, you notice a glass of wine and an otherwise empty table in front of you.
“No menu?” you question.
Jamie shrugs again, this time a little awkwardly, “I went ahead and ordered for you. I figured you were filming late and thought you’d be eager to eat quickly. You like chicken parmesan, right?”
An impressed smile takes over your face, “Wow. As far as fake boyfriends go, you’re pretty good.”
A bashful smile takes over his own face. “I do my best.”
“And let me guess, you got the steak but you’re going to tell Roy you got a salad.”
Jamie quirks an amused eyebrow, “You’re not so bad yourself.” 
You’re both equally proud and yet surprised at how quickly you’d become accustomed to each other’s lives and habits. And how natural it felt to fold one another into your own. 
Jamie lets you take a healthy sip of wine before taking a deep breath, “Speaking of Roy.”
“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow this time in question.
“Yeah, uh, he and Keeley actually asked me something earlier. They - well, more Keeley - thought it would be fun for us to go on a sort-of double date? I told them I’d ask you, but I didn’t promise them anything. So, if it's not something you’re up for that's totally fine, I can blow them off.”
You bite back a laugh at how quickly and anxiously he’s speaking. You think it's best to cut him off before he passes out. “Jamie,” you reach across the table and take his hand, “I think that sounds fun.”
Jamie squints, “Really? Because we seriously don’t have to.”
“I’m serious! I think it would be fun to meet the people that sent you into a spiral and made you ask to fake date me,” Jamie scoffs but a smile starts breaking through again, “Besides, this deal is a two way street. You’ve done plenty to help boost my rep so far, it's time I return the favor.”
Now Jamie fully smiles, but still asks, “If you’re sure?”
“I’m positive!”
“Alright. Well, since you’re the one that has to pretend to be obsessed with me all night, I think it’s only fair that you get to pick the activity. What do you want to do?”
You mull it over in your end until the perfect idea strikes you.
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“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“I am absolutely shit at bowling.”
From the passenger's seat of Jamie’s car, you let out a cackle. “There’s no way that’s true.”
“There absolutely is.” Jamie frowns beside you, completely unamused. 
“Wow, finally something Jamie Tartt isn’t amazing at.”
“You know you haven’t seen me do that much,” he points out.
You hold your hand up and tick things off, “Amazing footballer, amazing fake-boyfriend. What else is there?”
This gets a laugh out of him. 
The two of you are currently parked outside a bowling alley that is surprisingly empty for a Saturday evening. Jamie had received a text from Keeley saying she and Roy had arrived a few minutes prior, so now the two of your were mentally preparing for the night ahead.
“You know you could have told me this before and we could have done something else?” you asked after a few moments had passed.
Jamie lets out a deep breath, “But you were so excited about it when you brought it up.”
You chew the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. “Well, I appreciate that. And I’m sure you’re not as bad as you think.”
“Let me know if you think that when you see me play.”
“Well, I can’t do that unless we actually go inside,” you whisper to him like it's a secret he hadn’t caught onto. 
Jamie sighs deeply again.
“Hey,” you reach across the console and squeeze his hand briefly, “Tonight’s gonna be great. We’re gonna play a game, I’m gonna wow your friends, we’re gonna drink a shit ton of beers and have a shit ton of nachos, and have a good time.”
The side of Jamie’s mouth tilts up, “I think my vocabulary is rubbing off on you.” 
You chuckle, shoving him lightly, “Come on, let’s get this show on the road already.” 
“God, you’re impatient,” Jamie teases, but he’s finally pushing his car door open. 
“Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, let's do this!”
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If you were being honest, you had googled Roy Kent and Keeley Jones before. However, nothing could prepare you for how intimidating Roy was and how drop-dead gorgeous Keeley was in real life.
You and Jamie approached them hand-in-hand, and took little to no time for you to clock that you were the only people in the establishment. You’re confused about this, but you have to quickly bury any questions when Keeley pulls you into a tight hug.
“Hi, it’s so great to meet you, I’m Keeley!” she greets enthusiastically, before pulling away from you abruptly, “Holy shit, I’m sorry. The last thing you probably want is a random stranger hugging you out of nowhere. I’m sure you’re on edge all the time from the attention you get.”
You can’t help but flush when anyone makes a reference to your level of fame, not one to dwell on it yourself. However, Keeley’s energy is so bubbly and kind, you can’t help but feel comfortable as well as amused at how hard she’s trying. 
“No, no, not at all. Hugging is great,” You give her a big smile as reassurance, “Besides, you’re not a random stranger, you’re one of Jamie’s best friends, so you’re automatically already a cool person in my book.”
Keeley matches your smile before turning to Jamie, “Oh, my God, you were right about how nice she is.”
You turn to Jamie as well with a curious look, and he can barely make eye contact with you. “So, now you know Keeley, and that scruffy old-man behind her is Roy.” 
You turn to the man in question, and give him a kind smile and small wave, “Hey! I take it you’re probably not going to bear-hug me like your girlfriend, but it’d be funny if you did.”
To everyone’s surprise, Roy cracks a smile at your joke. It’s a small one but it's there. The bearded man gives you an approving nod before the four of you start making your way to your table. As you and Jamie trail behind the other couple, he gives you an impressed smile and you beam back at him.
Once you’re seated, you and Keeley send the boys off to grab bowling shoes and snacks for the group. 
“So, am I crazy or is this place extremely vacant for a Saturday night?” you ask the blonde as you type your name into the scoreboard. 
Keeley chuckles, “Oh yeah, we actually rented the place out for the next couple of hours.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, “Okay. Boujee.”
Keeley shrugs, “We don’t normally do things like that, but Jamie thought you’d prefer a night not being bothered by fans and such.”
Oh. 
“While I normally don’t do things like this either, it does sound nice to have a normal night out.”
“It’ll be fun!” Keeley says cheerfully. 
“Definitely,” you nod along, feeling warmed by her vibrant personality. “Even more so because apparently Jamie is really bad at bowling.”
Keeley snorts, “Oh, good. I mean, I’m not so great myself and Roy didn’t seem too enthused about this,” at your alarmed look, she quickly continues, “He’s never enthused about anything, don’t take it personally.”
You nod again, still a bit unsure. While you’d seemingly appeased Roy with your joke earlier, you were still anxious to get on his good side for some reason. You were a people pleaser through and through, but especially when the people in question were hard to crack. 
You don’t have much time to dwell on your thoughts when Jamie and Roy reappear with beer, nachos, and bowling shoes. 
Soon after the game begins. Between the consistent and easy flowing small talk, you bowl first with a respectable 8 pins down for your first go. You were just getting warmed up. Then Keeley takes a turn and manages 5 pins. You try to keep your laughter at bay when Jamie lands his first roll in the gutter, before just barely hitting 2 pins on his second attempt.
“I told you I was shit,” Jamie frowns, plopping down beside you after his turn.
You give him a playful pout, rubbing his arm. “Hey, the night is young, babe. You can still redeem yourself.”
You miss the flush on his cheeks from the pet name, as you and Keeley turn to Roy stepping up to the lane. 
“You got this Roy-o!” Keeley claps. 
Roy lets out a deep sigh before casually rolling the ball down the lane only to get a strike.
You and Jamie sit up straight in surprise, as Keeley’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. 
“I thought you hated bowling?” she exclaims, Roy sitting beside her and taking a gulp of his beer.
“I said I didn’t like it, never said I was bad at it,” he corrects, “Phoebe had like 3 birthdays here.”
“Phoebe’s Roy’s niece,” Keeley says, facing you before you could even ask, “You’d love her.”
You hum in response. You give Roy a friendly yet challenging grin, “Looks like I have stiffer competition than I expected.”
You catch a glimmer of competitiveness in Roy’s eye as you stand up to take your next turn. While you weren’t sure he’d be down for a little competition, he seems intrigued by your retort. 
You’re pleased when you score a spare this round. Jamie and Keeley cheer for you, the former planting a celebratory kiss on your cheek when you return. Roy, for his part, looks impressed. It was on. 
The game practically flies by after that. You and Roy are pretty evenly matched, taking turns between scoring strikes and fumbling a bit under the pressure. Keeley holds her own as well, but she’s mostly just happy to be there, cheering both you and Roy on. Jamie for his part manages to do better little by little, but he’s certainly no stranger to a gutter-bar or ill-fated split. And while he was resistant at first, he starts laughing along with your groups playful jabs at his expense. 
Between rounds, you thoroughly enjoy getting to know Roy and Keeley. Keeley is a bit more forthcoming in conversations, but after a couple beers, Roy loosens up a bit himself and you’re pleased to learn he has a fun sense of humor. 
By the end of the game, you manage to one-up Roy Kent by mere single digits. And while he’s graceful in the loss, he can’t help but point out he was a bit rusty. 
“Okay, now that you’re warmed up, why don’t we make the next game a little more interesting,” you challenge. 
Roy raises one of his thick eyebrows, “Go on.”
“Let’s say the next loser between us picks up the tab for the night?” you suggest.
Roy chuckles, “Big talk from someone with all that Hollywood money.”
“Oh, come on, I’m sure the highest paid coach in the premier league can handle it,” you throw back.
Keeley and Jamie amusedly watch you two like a tennis match.
A mischievous smile makes its way onto Roy’s face, before he extends his hand to you, “It’s a deal.”
You smirk, shaking his hand.
“Alright, if we’re doing this again, I need another beer,” Jamie announces, standing up from the booth.
“Ooh, I’ll come with,” Keeley says, jumping up as well.
“Wait, wait,” you call out, grabbing Jamie’s hand so he turns back around. 
“Yeah, love?” Jamie asks, startled by the ease in which the pet name rolls off his own tongue. 
“Can you get me some chicken wings, please?” you ask, with the sweetest smile you can muster. 
Jamie chuckles, “Of course.”
“Thank you,” you sing-song. He watches your eyes glance over at Roy and Keeley quickly and discreetly, before looking back up at him. Then you blink twice. 
Jamie doesn’t hold back the small smile that takes over his face as he leans down to press a chaste kiss on your lips. He forces himself not to linger, so he and Keeley can head to the snack bar.
This leaves you alone with Roy for the first time tonight. You have half a second to worry you’d be sitting in awkward silence before the man himself is speaking up.
“I like you,” he says suddenly.
You sit up in surprise for the second time tonight. Roy didn’t come across as the most transparent person when it came to feelings, and you’re once again sure the alcohol was helping, but it still took you aback.
“Oh?” is all you can manage to say in response. 
He nods, sipping on his beverage. “You’re good for Jamie. You treat him well, but you don’t take his shit. He needs that.”
You give him a small smile, touched by his words. You were both relieved you were pulling off the girlfriend thing so well, and also happy that he thought you were making a positive impact on Jamie. Your situation may be temporary - and mostly fake - but it felt good that you were a decent influence in the time you have.
“Thanks, Roy.”
He tilts his beer bottle in your direction, and you raise yours as well.
“You’re also a hell of a bowler, but you are going down this next game.” 
You scoff, “You wish, Kent.”
Meanwhile, Keeley is also singing your praises at the concessions stand with Jamie.
“Bravo, Jamie,” Keeley grins, shaking Jamie’s arm with an affectionate squeeze, “Not only is she fucking fit and talented - at acting and bowling nonetheless - she’s so fucking cool. She’s perfect for you.”
Jamie smiles bashfully, but accepts Keeley’s compliments of you. She was right. You were amazing. 
“And, I’m so happy you’re happy,” she adds, even more sincerely, “It always seemed like you were going through the motions in your past relationships, before and after me. And during me, I guess.”
Jamie moves to apologize but she shakes her head.
“You don’t need to do that,” she states forcefully, “You’ve grown so much. You deserve all the good things happening in your life. And this,” she nods in the direction you and Roy were sitting, “Is such a good thing.” 
Jamie’s smile wobbles a little, “You know I wasn’t just going through the motions with you, right? I really, really cared about you Keeley.”
Keeley instantly sobers as well, nodding aggressively, “I know that.”
“Good.”
“But I can tell this is different,” she insists. “You’re different. She’s different. And like I said, that’s a good thing.”
Jamie nods. Keeley’s words weigh heavily on him. Maybe that was the thing about him and her all along. You could care about a person, but that didn’t make you two the right fit. He considers this thought as he and Keeley carry their food back to the table. You and him were different. But not the different Keeley thought. You were just acting, and you were doing a hell of a good job of it. But that was the point, wasn’t it? Keeley and Roy were believing all of it, just like he wanted. So why doesn’t he feel as relieved as he should?
He buries those thoughts as you excitedly stand up to start the next game. That wasn’t before you happily thank him for the wings with yet another peck on the lips. And with that and more alcohol flowing through his veins, he can hardly remember any of his worries. 
After you score another strike right off the bat, instead of returning to your seat you gesture for Jamie to join you in front of the lane. 
“What are you gonna do?” he questions, “Wrap your arms around me to show me the right technique?”
“While that would be adorable, no,” you retort with a laugh, “But I can give you some pointers.” 
Jamie can barely focus on the tips you’re telling him, because even if you’re not physically showing him how to move, you’re still standing in such close proximity, and whispering to him nonetheless. How was he meant to pay attention? When you’re done with your explanation, you give him another quick kiss, wishing him good luck, before skipping back to the booth. 
Whether it was the tutorial or the kiss, he’d never know, but he somehow managed 7 pins that first try, and knocked down 2 more his second go. That was almost a spare. He’d be proud either way, but was even more so when you excitedly cheered for him on his way back to the table. 
The second game is just as much of a blur as the first, except this time as the competition and the alcohol levels grow, you and Jamie become much more affectionate. He knows you don’t love PDA, so you keep the kissing to a minimum around Roy and Keeley, but there’s no shortage of hugging and hand holding as you rack up points on the scoreboard. Towards the end of the game, you manage the first Turkey of the night, and Jamie picks you up and spins you around.
Before you know it, everyone’s down to their last shot. The score is so close, with you getting yet another strike at the last moment. Jamie and Keeley finish with respectable scores - Jamie having improved a lot this go - but they’re nowhere near you and Roy. 
Roy’s final roll is what makes or breaks the game. If he scores a strike, he wins. But even a spare means you’d win. Everyone watches with baited breath as he steps up to the lane. Its as if the ball rolls in slow motion, but as it hits the pins and you all watch as each and every pin gets knocked down, various exclamations are shouted. 
“He must’ve cheated!” is Jamie’s contribution to the yelling, but he and you are both half laughing at the same time. 
You, for your part, can’t be too disappointed when you’ve had such a fun night with more than amazing company. You also watch as Keeley gives Roy a sweet, congratulatory kiss, which was the first time they’d done so all night. Your heart pangs in your chest a little, feeling envious for the first time for what another couple had. It’s not something you’ve felt often in your life, but seeing how well the pair complemented each other all night made you long for the same thing with someone one day.
“You put up a good fight,” Roy salutes you, settling back down next to his girlfriend.
You smile, “It was a close game, but I’ll hand it to you.” 
You begin to take out your credit card, when Jamie pushes your hand away, already taking out his own wallet.
“I’ve got this,” he says.
You frown, “I don’t remember you being a part of the deal.”
Jamie shrugs, “A lady should never pay on a date, so your bill is now my bill.”
Normally, you’d argue on account of feminism, but you’re feeling a little loopy. Most likely from the beer and not at all from the boy in front of you with that lopsided grin.
After Jamie closes your group’s tab, the four of you change back into your regular shoes and start saying your goodbyes. 
“This was so fun!” Keeley smiles, pulling you in for another hug, which you gladly reciprocate, “We should do it again soon.”
“For sure,” you agree, before pulling away and addressing Roy, “I would like a rematch.”
Roy chuckles, “You’re on.” And then he surprises you by giving you a quick hug himself. 
With a final goodbye, Roy and Keeley start heading for the exit. Jamie gives you a sly grin once they’re far enough away.
“I’d say we did a good job tonight,” he says.
You nod, “We definitely did. You’re friends love me, and you know what? I love them, too.”
Jamie laughs, “Good.” He gestures his hand to the doors, “Shall we?”
You give Jamie your own secretive grin, “There’s one more thing I have to do before we leave.”
Jamie furrows his brows, “What’s that?”
Your grin only grows, before you grip his hand and pull him towards the far side of the bowling alley that housed a handful of arcade games.
Jamie cackles when you stop in front of one of them.
“The claw machine?”
You only nod, already shoving quarters into the machine, “I was hoping they’d have one of these.”
Jamie shakes his head, watching as you navigate the claw around the machine, “There’s no way you win this. You know these things are rigged, right?”
Before the words are fully out of his mouth, you’re already dropping a bright orange dragon in to the opening before pulling it out of the bottom.
Jamie stares at you with wide eyes, “How the fuck did you do that?”
You shrug, “I’m amazing at arcade games. And I needed a win.”
Jamie laughs again, “I’d say you’re far from a loser. Did you see whose name was at the bottom of the scoreboard?”
You giggle, and then hold out the dragon to him, “Well here. A consolation prize.”
Jamie takes the stuffed toy from your hands, “For me?”
“Of course. I mean, as long as you treat him right and give him a name.”
Jamie studies the dragon’s face for a moment. “Alfred.”
You snort, “Alfred?”
“Alfred the Dragon.” Jamie says, assuredly.
“Well, I love it.” 
“Good,” Jamie laughs along with you. “Well, the reservation we had on this place is about to end. People are going to start showing up any second so we should probably go.”
“Wait,” you grab Jamie’s hands again, “It's only, what, 9PM? Let’s go out and do something else.”
“Really?” Jamie asks, both surprised and amused.
“Yeah, why not? I hardly ever get out like this, might as well make the most of it while I have the mental energy,” you say with a laugh. “Come on, you’re the guy who knows all the spots where we can enjoy a drink on the down low right? Any bars like that?”
A smile starts to grow on Jamie’s face again, “Well, there is one.”
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“Did you bring me to a karaoke bar?” you question, but there’s an excited grin on your face.
Jamie shrugs from the driver’s seat of his car, relieved he’d stayed sober enough to keep the night going. He feared that wouldn’t last much longer, though.
“Everyone at this place is so pissed they’d never realize they were around a famous actress, even if you wore a shirt that said ‘I was in Study Break’.” 
You laugh embarrassedly, rubbing your face. “Of course you’ve seen the sitcom I was in.”
Jamie smiles, “That and Parks and Rec are only two of the greatest comedies of all time.”
“That’s generous,” you say. “If we’re at a karaoke bar, does that mean you’re going to sing?” 
Jamie huffs, “Hell no. I would need several drinks for that.”
“I think we can make that happen,” you smirk. “Do you think Alfred will be okay to wait in the car?”
You both turn back to where Jamie had buckled the plush dragon in behind the two of you.
“Does that make us neglectful parents to leave our kid in the car?” he asks.
“Eh, he’ll survive.” You shrug, before the two of you jump out of the car. 
You and Jamie immediately camp out at open spots at the bar and order drinks. While much of the beer from earlier had worn off, Jamie could still tell you were feeling lighter, bopping along to the horrible singing from the karaoke performer on the stage in the front of the room. He’s adored getting to see such a playful side of you tonight. He hopes he can start to bring it out of you even when alcohol wasn’t involved.
“I just realized when we conducted our research on each other, I didn’t ask if you had a go to karaoke song,” you ask him after a few minutes of quiet between the two of you.
Jamie thinks for a beat. Not that he’d participated in the activity often, he did have a few go-to’s. “Probably something by The Beatles. Or Britney Spears.”
You cackle, “Those two couldn’t be more different options and yet they’re both so perfect for you.”
Jamie laughs along with you, “What about you?”
“Hmm, I like a good 80’s song. Some Madonna, or Pat Benetar.” 
“Those are solid.”
“And this isn't the 80's, but if I can get someone to do a duet with me, The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.”
“That is a bold karaoke song.”
“Sure, but it's so powerful.”
You both sip on your drinks as you keep humming along to the next singer who's doing a rough version of Bennie and the Jets. 
“I know another question I didn’t ask you that feels like an oversight,” Jamie says this time, “What is Miss Movie Star’s favorite movie?” Jamie’s immediately intrigued when you become embarrassed by the question. He pokes your stomach gently. “What? Now you’ve got to tell me.”
You answer so softly, he can barely hear you over the music. “When Harry Met Sally.”
Jamie’s mouth is agape, “Excuse me, When Harry Met Sally? The girl who hates romance’s favorite movie is a romantic comedy?”
You squeeze your eyes shut, “I never said I hated romance, I just said some movies set unrealistic expectations.”
“Still!” Jamie exclaims with wide eyes.
“I know, I know. But it’s just so comforting! And Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal are so good together.”
“I mean, yeah.” Jamie agrees, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
“But I stand by the fact that most romcoms can be a bit far fetched.” 
“Okay, that’s fair. What other movies are your favorites then?”
You once again look afraid to answer, but inevitably do. “13 Going on 30…Notting Hill…”
“Are you kidding me? 13 Going On 30 is the most unrealistic. It's about a girl who goes from a 13 year old to a full grown adult overnight!”
“Yes, but Mark Ruffalo!”
“And Notting Hill is about the biggest actress in the world moving across the world for a random bookstore owner, how is that realistic?”
“Well, I mean I’m pretending to date you!” you retort before thinking through what you’re saying.
Jamie doesn’t dwell on it, “Did you just compare yourself to Julia Roberts?”
You sputter, “Not fully, but that would make you Hugh Grant!”
Jamie gives you a look, “I’m of a little higher rank than a bookstore owner.”
You gesture between the two of you, “So you’re saying the two of us come across as realistic. That’s good, that's what we want.”
Jamie chuckles, as you ground your conversation back in reality. “That’s fair.”
You smile slightly, “And again; I never said I hated romance and stuff. I just wish it was easier to come by like it seems on screen.”
Jamie nods, speaking more softly, “Yeah, me too.”
Before you lose yourself in Jamie’s gaze, you turn the topic on him, “What’s your favorite movie, then? Bend It Like Beckham?”
Jamie snorts, “While that’s a great film, I wouldn’t say it's my favorite.”
“Fair. But if you say another one of my movies, I’ll punch you.”
Your conversation continues just as smoothly as your cocktails go down after that. You bounce between learning more about one another, to mindless conversations about seemingly nothing. You also take many breaks to belt the lyrics to songs you love as more and more drunk patrons lousily perform. 
Before you know it, you’re both nearly as drunk as the karaoke singers. Jamie soon realizes though, you’re much more of a lightweight, constantly coming up with random topics.
“I like the way you say Keeley’s name,” you tell him at one point, completely unrelated to the conversation you were having. 
Jamie furrows his eyebrows, “Keeley?”
You shove your index finger in his face, “See, like that! Keeley.”
He chuckles at your poor, yet adorable imitation of his accent.
“You’re from where again?” you ask.
“Manchester.”
“So, that’s what? A Manchester-an accent?”
Jamie laughs again, “Mancunian.”
“Mancunian,” you slur, making yourself laugh this time. “I like it.”
“Do you like the way I say your name?” Jamie asks teasingly.
You bob your head up and down, “I like the way you say everything.”
Jamie didn’t expect that answer. Even in his inebriated state, he feels his stomach flip.
It’s around midnight that Jamie realizes that even under the influence, you were still a sneaky one. You’re laughing through a story about you and your friend Katie, when the MC calls Jamie’s name out as the next singer. Jamie looks towards the stage in confusion, before it dawns on him. His suspicions are confirmed when he sees the cheeky grin plastered across your face.
“How did you- when did you??” he stutters. 
“When I said I had to go to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago,” you hiccup.
Jamie shakes his head, “I can’t go up there.”
“Sure you can!” you exclaim, attempting to push him off the barstool, although you’re doing a pretty pathetic job of it. 
As the MC repeats his name, some people around you clock that he’s The Jamie Tartt and start chanting for him.
He gives you a look, “So much for staying under the radar.”
In your state, you don’t even seem to care, instead joining the crowd, “Jamie. Jamie. Jamie.”
He truly believes if he were a little less drunk, he would have resisted harder. But what was Jamie Tartt if not a crowd pleaser?
He eventually makes his way to the stage, receiving a louder than normal applause from the bar crowd. He reminds himself that even if they’re aware of who he is now, they certainly won't remember this tomorrow. As he pulls the microphone off the stand, he realizes he doesn’t know what song he’s singing, until the unmistakable first beats of Toxic by Britney Spears play through the speakers. He locks eyes with you immediately back by the bar, and you have a shit eating grin still plastered on your face. He can’t help but smile back.
At this point Jamie’s inevitably given into the absurdity of the night, and unashamedly gives a full fledged performance. The bar goes wild, but he’s only really aware of you. He somehow hears your cheers above the roar of the crowd, and is egged on by your amusement. Under normal circumstances, he may be embarrassed by how seriously he was taking this, but he’s surrendered to the simple fact that if it made you happy, he didn’t care how ridiculous he looked. 
By the time he’s reached the final chorus of the song, you were up from your seat and the whole bar was singing along. Everyone cheers even louder when he’s done, and he gives them an over dramatic bow. As he bounds back down the stage, the people he passes offer high fives and tell him they’re huge fans. He even hears a few people breakout into his football chant. 
“Wow, you were so good!” you tell him genuinely, putting each one of your hands on his shoulders, “Football better watch out, cause you could have a real career as a singer.”
Jamie rolls his eyes with a laugh, “Sure I do.”
You laugh along with him, “Either way, now that I know you kill at karaoke, we definitely have to come back.”
“Alright, alright, but next time you’re singing with me.”
“As long as its Fleetwood Mac, I’m down.”
The two of you don’t last much longer after that. As soon as Jamie can tell you’re starting to grow tired, he announces you should call it a night. He calls a car this time though, planning to pick up his car the following day when he was much more sober. You beg him to take Alfred the Dragon, though, stating sincerely that you’d cry if he was left in the car alone all night long. He immediately hates the idea of you crying and hurriedly unlocked the car to retrieve the stuffed animal.
When the car pulls up to your flat, he tells the driver he’d be a few minutes while he walked you to the door.
Jamie amusedly watches you very carefully walk up the concrete stairs. Despite not feeling quite that steady himself, he still follows closely behind in case you trip. 
You stumble a little when you reach the top and Jamie gently takes hold of your arms, the two of you unable to keep from giggling. 
“Well, this is me!” you announce, standing up straight in his arms.
“You don’t say?” Jamie jokes.
“You can stay here, you know,” you say, “The couch is pretty comfortable. I fell right to sleep at the end of Ratatouille the other night.”
“You were watching Ratatouille?” he asks incredulously.
“Ratatouille,” you mimic his accent again, pinching one of his cheeks lightly, “I fucking love your accent.”
Jamie laughs, a little less amused this time with you in such close proximity, “Well, thank you.”
You nod to the door, “So, you wanna stay? I bet people would go crazy if they heard about you leaving my place tomorrow morning.”
Jamie huffs. He considers it. He does. He’s exhausted, and he’d also love more time with you. And you’re right, this would be good for the ruse. But even as the alcohol slowly wears off of both of you, he thinks maybe tonight isn’t the best time 
“Maybe another night,” he eventually responds softly. He nods behind him, “I can’t keep the driver waiting much longer.”
You pout playfully but nod, “Okayyy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow though?”
He nods back, “Of course.” A beat passes, “Thank you again for coming out tonight. With Keeley and Roy. Meant a lot.”
You smile at him brightly, “Anytime. Like you said, we’re a team.” Then you slide out of his arms that he’s long forgotten were even wound around you. “Good night, boyfriend.” you say dramatically, before turning to the door.
He smiles wistfully at the back of your head, “Good night, girlfriend.”
Just as you manage to get your door unlocked, you abruptly turn back around to face him. Before he can question anything, you’re gripping his shoulders and pulling him in for a quick, albeit sloppy kiss - and not on the cheek, but the lips.
Jamie can hardly process what is happening before you pull away from him. He looks at you curiously as you give him a coy smile and whisper, “Google Earth.”
Jamie breathes out a surprised and shaky laugh, “Always taking pics.”
You giggle with him, before once again going back to your front door. You wish him another good night, before entering your flat and shutting the door.
Jamie shakes his head. You definitely wouldn’t remember much of the last couple hours of your night. Part of him wishes he could forget some of it, too. That would make things a lot simpler. 
a/n: it's a race to the who falls first finish line! who do we think will admit to it first? also two notes- 1) criminal that jamie wasn't on the team when they went to karaoke in season 1, 2) idk enough about bowling scores to make this completely accurate, so work with me on this haha
taglist: @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @royalestrellas @torpedo--belly @skewedcherries @littlemisssunshine192 @hopefulromances @breakmyheartlater @ohpuckyeah @alipap3 @meg-ro @rexorangecouny @pythagothug @bonesbonesetc @xxenia14 @rockchickrebel @thatonedogwithablog @percysaidnever @msjb2002 @loveforaugust @dicgohargreeves @whimsical-roasting @tortilla-maria1 @rubyliquor @taytaylala12 @kno-way-home @gcidrvsh @lightninginab0ttle @beekprsdaughter it wouldn’t let me tag the last couple of you, but i will keep trying <3  
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inbloomwriting · 9 months
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a kiss that I kept II Jamie Tartt
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Plot: Jamie Tartt was 9 years old when he met the love of his life. He considers himself lucky to have met her at such a young age. He considers himself a damn fool for fucking it up later on though. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, mentions of Jamie's dad. Notes: Friends to idiots to lovers. Inspired by "Simple Song" by the Shins Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please
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When I was just nine years old I swear that I dreamed Your face on a football field And a kiss that I kept Under my vest Apart from everything But the heart in my chest
There’s something cathartic about being back home in Manchester. Not as a footballer, just as Jamie. When he doesn’t have to be phenomenal, when he doesn’t have to perform and win. When he doesn’t have to try so damn hard to give his dad a reason to be proud of him.
Without those expectations and without the pressure, it feels good to be home. It’s a part of his childhood that is untouched by his father’s malice. It’s pure and joyful and precious.
He’s not Jamie Tartt, golden child and footballer extraordinaire. He’s cousin Jamie. He’s Jamie from down the road. He’s Georgie’s boy. 
It’s been a while since he’s been back, been even longer since he’s seen any of his extended family but being back now, it feels like hardly any time has passed. Millie has always been his favorite cousin so when the envelope showed up in his mailbox, all fancy paper and swirly font, there was no hesitation in him. Nothing could keep him from attending her wedding.
She’s a beautiful bride, all flowy dress and flowers in her hair. It’s almost hard to believe she’s the same kid that used to run around the neighborhood with Jamie, getting into trouble wherever they could find it. But somewhere between chiffon and carnations that little girl still exists. He wonders if the little boy he used to be is still alive somewhere inside of him. He hopes he’s proud of who he grew up to be. Sometimes he doubts it. 
His eyes wander across the room, the reception is in full swing, people are talking, laughing, celebrating. Love is radiating from every smile. Though Jamie doesn’t really care all too much about that if he’s being completely honest, he only cares about one particular smile. 
And when he catches sight of her, leaning against the bar with a glass of champagne in hand, wearing a gorgeous powder pink dress and daisies in her hair, he’s certain his heart misses a beat. 
It would be an understatement to call (Y/N) his best childhood friend. Friend was never a big enough word to describe what she meant to Jamie — what she still means to him. 
Jamie Tartt was 9 years old when he met the love of his life. He considers himself lucky to have met her at such a young age. He considers himself a damn fool for fucking it up later on though. 
“Are you planning on talking to me anytime soon or do you just want to stare at me all day, Tartt?” 
She says it with the same sense of mischief she’s always held. Like a silent promise of adventure perpetually hidden in her words. 
“I was going to — eventually.” 
“Well, eventually is not good enough for me. I missed you, Jamie.” 
It’s only when she pulls him into a hug that he realizes just how much that sentiment is reciprocated. The familiar scent of lavender and the feel of her body against his, it all brings up so many memories of times long gone. This, Jamie thinks, is as close to time travel as humans will ever get.
He is suddenly 9 years old, playing soccer on the field just down the road from his house. His football is old and slightly inflated and some of the hexagons are flaking off, just holding on by a single tread. His goal is no real goal and all but two plastic bottles functioning as make-believe goalposts.
 The air smells like sunscreen and summer and dust and life is easy for a moment. He gets to do what he loves without having to prove anything to anyone. Football is just a game here, something to pass the time. It’s fun.
He does kicks and jumps and trick shots and it doesn’t matter if he messes up. He can fail without having to fear any repercussions. There is no one there to judge him for it. Failure is a byproduct of trying not a sign of weakness. 
Just as he is about to line up another shot at the makeshift goal, he sees her across the football field. At 9 years old, Jamie doesn’t know a lot of things but he’s quite certain she’s the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. For a moment he wonders if she’s a dream, an illusion. Then she steps closer, comes walking towards him with that bright smile of hers and the glimmer of excitement shining in her eyes. 
“You’re really good,” she says. He’s heard that a few times before, it never mattered then because he wasn’t good enough, not to his father at least. It matters when this stranger says it though, because she’s pretty and because she has no reason to lie to him. 
“Thanks. I’m Jamie.”
“You’re bleeding.” 
His eyes follow to where she points at his right knee and sure enough, it’s scraped up, a drop of blood running down his leg.
“Does it hurt?” 
Jamie shrugs as if to let her know that it’s not a big deal. It does sting quite a bit now that she pointed it out to him. He’s not gonna let her know that though, girls don’t like soft boys who whine about scraped knees.
“I have a plaster if you want one. So you don’t get any dirt in the wound.” 
She doesn’t even wait for an answer, just rummages through her purse that’s shaped like a little poodle, and pulls out a plaster. Jamie holds out his hand though she doesn’t pay it any attention, just kneels down and softly, so fucking softly, put the plaster over his wound. It’s the first time he smells her lavender shampoo, the first time she smiles at him, and the first time she sends his heart racing. 
“I’m (Y/N), by the way.” 
And his life has not been the same since.
“ I missed you too.” 
It’s the truth. He missed her terribly. But sometimes it’s hard to reconcile who he is with who he used to be. Who he is now with the person she used to love.
“Could’ve fooled me, you don’t even answer my insta DMs, you ass.” 
Even when she curses him out, she regards him with infinite affection. 
The girl that put a plaster on his bleeding knee is now a whole woman, but the kindness is still the exact same. The softness she holds for him is still there.
“To be fair I hardly check those. They scare me, honestly.” 
“At least your mum updates me on your life. She was always my favorite Tartt anyway.” 
He loves how much she loves his mum and how much mum loves her. There is something so inexplicably comforting in knowing the people you love most share a bond. 
“Think you’re her favorite too.” 
“Oh yeah, I know I am.” 
Her laughter rings through the air like the sweetest song he’s ever heard. It’s so awfully cheesy, his own thoughts almost make him barf. But she just has that effect on him. 
“You look beautiful today, (Y/N).” 
“Today?” she asks in mock offense and though he knows it’s really just a joke, he feels the need to explain himself.
“Don’t get me wrong. You’re always proper fit but that dress? You look like a fucking angel.” 
The way she bites her lip slightly and bashfully averts her eyes for a second, is a success in his book. 
She really does look gorgeous, a whole vision of perfection. The pink dress, the flowers — the necklace. 
A shiny rose gold charm sparkles in the light, resting gently against her skin. Heart-shaped like his feelings for her. He knows the pendant opens up and he knows exactly what he’ll find if he were to open it. 
His lips lift in an involuntary smirk.
“What’s that look for, Jam?” 
“You still got the necklace.”
She places a gentle hand against her chest, against the heart-shaped charm.
“Obviously. I will never ever ever get rid of it. I love it. You stole this for me!”
He was 14 and stupid and head-over-heels in love. He still remembers the sticky heat of the summer clinging to his skin, the taste of watermelon on his tongue, and the thought of her on his mind. 
They spent all day riding their bikes around town with nowhere to be and everywhere to go. It was a good day, a phenomenal day. She shared her ice cream cup with him and held his hand on the way back to their bikes. It was a phenomenal day and Jamie was not ready to let it end just yet. Not when he couldn’t stop thinking about the way her eyes lit up as she looked at that necklace in the shop window. 
In retrospect, it was an extraordinarily dumb idea, one of his worst to date, but it made her smile. The way she smiled at him when he gave her the necklace that he stole for her, that made it all worth it. The yelling from mum and the being grounded and the having to pay back the money by working at the store for 3 whole months that summer. 
Her smile made it all worth it.
“Mum was so mad at me that day.”
“Well, you did commit theft, so —” 
“Worth it though. Made you smile.” 
“Oh, Jam you— “ 
The nickname gives him shaky knees, the interruption by the DJ gives him a fucking headache.
“May all the unmarried ladies please report to the dance floor, it’s time for the bouquet toss.” 
“That’s my queue, I guess. Save me a dance, Jamie Tartt.” 
He will save her every damn dance in his life. They are all hers if she wants them.
She stands in the middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by a bunch of other women, a flicker of friendly competitiveness shining in her eyes. If she’s joining in on the bouquet toss, that means she’s not married, does that mean she’s single? 
Of course, he could’ve asked mum, she knows for sure, but that would just open a whole different can of worms. You don’t ask your own mum if the girl you’ve been in love with since you were 9 years old, is single. You just don’t, no matter how badly you want to know.
The DJ starts playing Girls just wanna have fun, (Y/N) hated that song. “It’s awfully overplayed”, she said one time they were driving in his car, before changing the station. 
She must still hate it judging by the grimace that falls over her face for a mere second before she catches herself and puts another polite smile back on her lips. 
Millie stands before the group of women, back towards her friends, and bouquet raised in the air before counting down.
One 
Two
Three
The flowers fly through the air and land in the hands of a girl whose name Jamie can’t recall but she’s definitely one of the bridesmaids. Chelsea? Cristy? Something like that. She looks elated, a guy leaning against the bar looks mortified. 
(Y/N) seems thoroughly unbothered by it all as she strolls back across the dance floor toward Jamie. 
“Do you want me to congratulate you or give you my condolences?” 
She just laughs and shakes her head “It’s not like I have any suitors waiting for me to offer them my hand in marriage anyway.” 
So she is single. Not that it matters or anything. It’s good to know though.
His eyes sweep across her face, then her hair, where one of the daisies is barely holding on and just about to fall off. Without giving it another thought, as if moving on autopilot, Jamie gingerly plucks the flower from her hair and places it behind her ear. There’s something about her that makes him want to be soft, that allows him to be soft. 
“Almost lost one.” 
“Thank you, Jamie.” 
The tenderness in her words almost sends him to his knees. When you’re used to words being sharp and bitter it’s hard to accept when they are silky and delicate. 
“You have the saddest eyes, Jam. What’s bothering you?” 
There is a big long metaphorical list of all the things that rest so heavy on his heart. The pressure of having to be the best version of himself at all times. The feeling of failure always creeping up on him. The fear of messing up. The idea of not being good enough. 
The reminder of what could’ve been and of all that isn’t.
He has a whole big list of things that make him sad — he doesn’t say any of that though. Just shrugs his shoulders in nonchalance. 
“Don’t know what you mean, I’m chuffed. Doing fan-fucking-tastic.” 
She can read him like a book, always could. Jamie doesn’t know why he even tries to fool her, it’s not going to work either way.
“I know that’s a lie,” (Y/N) scoffs then regards him with a look he can’t place. It’s a mix between pity and something else, something warm and comforting. “I’m not going to force you to talk to me about it. I’m aware we aren’t as close as we used to be but I just want you to know that I am always in your corner, Jamie. Always.” 
He has no doubt she means what she says but Jamie isn’t sure she really knows what she’s talking about. She knew him as a little kid, an awkward teenager, a misguided 20-year-old. She doesn’t know this new version of him. Bitter and a little lost — or maybe a lot.
Jamie isn’t sure this new him deserves her loyalty.
"There's something that does make me sad, actually."
"What's that?"
"The fact that I’ve not had a single slice of cake yet. That’s why I’m here, innit?”
“And I thought you were here to celebrate your cousin getting married.” 
“Common misconception, really. I mean I am — but mostly it’s about the cake. Technically I’m on a diet but it's a wedding, that doesn’t count. We all know that.” 
They both know he’s just talking out of his ass. Of course, he’s here for Millie. For the wedding and the family get together and all of it. And even a little for (Y/N). Because he really did miss her … so fucking badly.
“Oh well, let’s go get us some cake then. Can’t have you starving, not Jamie Tartt — the island’s top scorer.” 
Jamie has done a lot of things in his life that he isn’t particularly proud of. He tries to see them all as learning opportunities, cautionary tales for a future him. Doesn’t mean he likes to think about them. Especially not his short but quite memorable stint on the dating show Lust conquers all. All the worst parts of him put on display for everyone to see and discuss and judge, every night at 8pm. 
“You watched that then?”
“Uh, obviously?! What’s a best friend’s job if not to laugh about you while you make a fool of yourself on a dating reality tv show?” 
It warms him from the inside out, to hear that she still considers him her best friend. He’s not sure he’s been very good at it in the last few years. Has barely talked to her. But then again, who makes the rules? Maybe some people are bound together so tightly from the very beginning that neither time nor distance can break them apart. 
“I’ll have you know that I was number one on famous birthdays the day after I got eliminated from the show. So, who’s laughing now?” 
“Were you? How long did that last?” 
“Like a day, maybe 2. Then it went back to John Krasinsky, fucking wanker.” 
“Aw babe, well you’ll always be my favorite person born on October 20th. “ she says as they both come to stand by the table decked out in cakes and other desserts. “ I do like the office though, hmm…” 
"Oh, sod off. You’re breaking my fucking heart.”
He likes the way she hugs his arm in mock apology. She’s not sorry, in fact, she’s still laughing. It doesn’t matter if she’s laughing with or about him though. As long as there is a smile on her face, that’s good enough for him.
“Sorry. Can I make it up to you?” 
Jamie nudges her shoulder with his, the way they always did when they were kids. That little boy that was so in love with her, he’s slowly but surely clawing his way to the surface again. Breaking free from Jamie’s ribcage where he has been kept hidden for such a long time now.
“Well, what about that cake then?” 
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The neon lights dip her in shades of blues and pinks and purples as she twirls on the dancefloor, weaving in and out of the crowd. Jamie is sure he’s seen this very moment in a dream of his before. 
“Oh, you look so handsome, my baby. Are you having a good time?” 
His mother’s voice cuts through his hazy daydreams as she plops down on the chair next to him. No matter how old he gets, Jamie doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of his mother’s affection. Her unshaken faith in him and her unwavering belief that he is a good man, after all.
“You’re my mum, you have to say that.”
“Absolutely not! Remember when you had that dangly earring? I told you right out you looked like a muppet.” 
“Yeah you did,” he nods and takes a sip of his beer “Crushed me, honestly. Loved that earring. Thought I looked well cool.” 
“Well, you know who didn’t hate it? (Y/N).” 
That gets his attention. Eyebrows raised he takes his eyes off of the girl in question and turns fully towards his mother.
“How would she know? She didn’t see it.” 
“Yes, she did. I showed her a picture when we had girls night.” 
It's a nice image, his mum and (Y/N) having girls night. Sure, having them team up on him is terrifying, but he can't help but relish in the fact that his loves love each other so dearly. 
"Girls night, huh? You ladies talk about me a lot then?"
"Are you joking?" 
The way his mum raises her eyebrow is so familiar. It's the same damn expression he sees in himself all the time.
"That girl has been in love with you since you were kids. Of course, we talk about you a lot. You're all we talk about, Jamie. "
As a kid, Jamie always wondered what it felt like to put your finger straight into an electrical outlet. He never did it, obviously. But there was some strong curiosity there.
This is what it must feel like. Hearing his mother say that (Y/N) is in love with him, that's what it must feel like
Electric shocks straight to the heart.
“What?” 
His mum just shakes her head, there’s that smile pulling at her lips. That typical mother's smile that tells you that they know you so much better than you know yourself.
“Come on now, Jamie. You know this is how she feels, everyone does. She adores you. Same way you adore her. That is how you feel, isn’t it?” 
Of course, it is. She’s everything. She feels like an ocean being warmed by the sun. Warm and inviting and comforting. Beautiful. Tender. Soft.
“Don’t matter really, does it? We haven’t talked in so long. Doubt she even knows me well enough anymore.” 
“She watches every match, goes to most of them if she can. She even bought that video game you’re on. Girl is almost as proud of you as I am. Look love, “ Mum rests a gentle hand on his arm. “I don’t know half the things that are bothering you right now but I do know that you’re struggling. I just want you to know that you are not a bad person, Jamie. The little boy you used to be deserved to be loved and so does the man you are now. You made bad choices but you still deserve love. We all make bad decisions sometimes. I know I made a lot of them when I was younger.” 
“Hah, like having me.”
He passes it off as a joke but there’s a hint of truth swinging along. She was really young when she had him and while he knows she doesn’t resent him for it, he wonders if maybe her life would’ve turned out better had he not come along. Mum loves him unconditionally and she always makes sure he knows it so it’s a silly thing to think about really. It’s a fleeting thought and it really only shows itself when he’s already deep in his thoughts but when it does, it sends him spiraling. 
The slap to the arm is not friendly or in good humor, that one is meant to sting.
“Don’t you ever say that again. You are my life, Jamie. I love you. Having you was the best decision I’ve ever made. You hear me?” 
It’s dumb really, he knows Mum loves him. It’s always been them against the world (or well, them against dad, really). But sometimes his head gets so loud and fills itself with stupid thoughts.
“Yeah, of course. Sorry. I love you, mama.” 
“Love you too, my baby boy. And I am so proud of everything you ever did, okay? Except maybe the earring.” 
A chuckle falls from Jamie’s lips. “The earring was a bad idea, I got it.”
“Good. Now go dance with your girl, yeah? You two are driving me crazy.” 
His girl. His girl wraps her arms around his neck when he walks up to her on the dancefloor. His girl looks up at him with the most radiant smile. His girl who feels like the sun and smells like lavender and wraps his heart in silk and sweet memories.
“Finally, thought I was going to have to drag you onto the dancefloor. You still owe me a dance.” 
“Sorry. Not much of a slow dancer, yeah? I do know some great boy band choreographies though, and the cha-cha slide.” 
"Is that so?"
"Yeah. Coach made us learn a full N'sync routine for Doctor Sharon's going away party. She didn't show up but I was fucking ace. I’m sure Keeley has a video of it somewhere.” 
She grants him a smile though it doesn't reach her eyes.
"How is Keeley? How are you guys?"
There's an edge to her words and if he didn't know better he'd call it jealousy. But that doesn't make sense … right?
There's no him and Keeley, at least not in the way she's asking about. There never will be. Keeley is one of his favorite people but her friendship means so much more than any fickle try on upholding a relationship doomed to fail. Jamie thinks there's something brave and mature about that realization.
"She's good. We're good. Friends I mean. Good friends."
"No more dating?"
"Nah she's dating one of my best friends. Hated it at first but they're kinda perfect for each other. It's a bit disgusting, really."
Those words manage to pull the smile all the way up to reach her eyes. It's magnificent. Spectacular. A laugh tumbles from her lips, a sound so sweet if he were to taste it, he's sure it would put the most delicious honey to shame.
"You know," Jamie speaks and pulls her closer as they absentmindedly sway along to the music " I never thanked you."
"For what?"
"For the phone call that one night."
It was just after Manchester had kicked him out. No one wanted to sign him. He had burned bridges with everyone who ever stood by him and gave him a chance and Jamie had never felt more lost and more alone.
He just needed someone. A piece of home. A reminder of the 9-year-old boy who loved football for the fun of it all. He needed her. 
He hadn't expected her to pick up that night, he really didn’t deserve it. But she did. Of course, she did. She always did.
"You don't have to thank me for that, Jamie. You are you and I am me and I will always pick up the phone for you."
It's such a simple thought. The most basic of all concepts. You are you and I am me and there will always be a space for us in my life and yours.
"I just - I felt very alone and lost and I hated the person I was then. It was like I was some boat or something, stuck on a cliff. And then when I talked to you and you had my back anyway it was like all my fears that I told you about suddenly disappeared, you know? Like you sent me a wave, a flood and gave my boat a lift over the rocks. I know it sounds fucking silly but Ted has me reading all these books with the big words. Making me feel all smart and philosophical."
She's so gentle when she combs her fingers through his hair, tugging some strands back behind his ear. He will never grow tired of soft touches and even softer looks.
"Jamie, even if I didn't like the person you were then, I loved you anyway. I don't have to like you to love you. Loving someone means accepting that they make mistakes but giving them room to become the person you know they can be. You wanted to change for the better and honestly, I think you turned out pretty spectacular."
Jamie isn’t quite sure if he will ever grow used to receiving love in the form of comforting words and soft touches but he truly relishes in it, always. 
"Do you wanna get out of here? Party is about to wind down anyway. Don't think anyone's gonna miss us."
The night feels heavy with possibility. 
"Sure, Jam. Where do you wanna go?"
"Doesn't matter. Nowhere. Anywhere. As long as I'm with you."
The glimmer in her eyes tells him she has an idea.
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The bench by the side of the field looks the exact same it did when he was a kid. Chipping red paint and rotting wood. Initials in permanent marker forever immortalizing past versions of whoever wrote them down. Time forever frozen.
Jamie is 9 years old again and he is also 11 and 13 and 16 and 25. It’s all the same. It’s all so different.
The field is no field anymore, it’s now a proper little football pitch with a goal on each side. 
“What happened here then? That wasn’t there when we were little.” 
(Y/N) strolls across the field, twirling in her dress illuminated by the moon and the streetlamps. She looks like something out of a movie. He’s sure if he was a smarter man, more poetic, he’d be writing songs about her, poems, books.
 In that book Ted made him read, there’s this one line that Jamie suddenly remembers.
“She was dazzling-- alight; it was agony to comprehend her beauty in a glance”
He thought those were just big words for saying some girl was well fit. He thinks he might get it now.
“Yeah well, some of us put together some money and convinced the neighborhood council to finally turn it into a proper pitch.” 
“Some of you?"
“Mostly your mum, Simon, and I”
She meets his eyes across the field and his heart still does the same silly shimmy it did when he first saw her face. 
“Why?” 
“So another little 9-year-old kid gets to play with actual goals and doesn’t have to use plastic bottles.”
They did it for the kids, the community. But they mostly did it for him, for the child in his heart that never grew up. That is clinging to his insides and that only gets to live in his memories and in the hearts of the people he loves. The people that love him.
(Y/N) leans against one of the goalposts, a smile playing on her lips as Jamie strolls up to stand in front of her, hands buried in the pockets of his pants. His jacket is long forgotten on some chair back at the wedding venue.
“You know”, she says and lets her gaze drift upwards towards the sky. There is too much light to see the stars but Jamie thinks there’s still some kind of comfort knowing they are up there even when you can’t see them. The authors of the books Ted gives him, they’d have some flowery pretentious allegory to tell about all of this. He is no author, he's just a fool in love.
“This is where I had my very first kiss. Right here.” 
Jamie wonders if she knows of the little electric shocks she sends straight to his heart when she lowers her head and looks straight at him while speaking those words.
It’s not news to him. Of course, it’s not. 
He was there. 
“Oh, was it?”
“Yup.” 
“Hope the lad was alright.” 
“He was perfect — for a twelve-year-old. I was also 12 though so I had nothing to compare, really.” 
“What was he like? Lucky kid.” 
“He had this really badly bleached blond hair. Tried to do it at home with a cheap box dye. Didn’t listen when I told him it was a bad idea.” 
“I bet he looked fucking cool.” 
“Had a bit of an ego, that one. Still does. Bit misplaced for someone who looked like Draco Malfoy.” 
“You had a big fat crush on Draco Malfoy.” 
“Yeah,” he doesn’t know when it happens. One moment they’re joking around, strolling down memory lane and the next her hand is in his hair, his hand on her waist, noses almost touching. “I did.” 
“Do you wanna know a secret?” 
“Uh-huh.” 
“That was my first kiss too.” 
There’s a flicker of surprise shining in her eyes.
“Huh? You said your first kiss was with Emma behind the playground.” 
“Well I was lying, wasn’t I? Wanted you to think I’m cool and experienced.” 
“We were 12 you dum dum. And I always thought you were cool.” 
He was not cool at 12. No one is cool at 12. It still makes him weirdly proud to hear her say it. 12-year-old Jamie would be positively buzzing at that revelation.
“I um — Jamie, why did we never talk about it again? I know we were 12 and whatever but it meant something to me. Did it mean anything to you?” 
Some memories, Jamie thinks, are meant to be shared. You want to tell everyone about them over and over again and it feels like you might burst if you don’t share them with others. 
And then there are memories that are meant just for you. Beautiful places to escape to. So you keep them hidden in your chest, apart from everything else but your heart when they beat in sync. And they become part of you. And they keep you alive. That’s where he keeps this kiss. The first one. The only one that ever mattered.
“It means everything to me. But I — I wanted to keep that kiss to myself. That was mine and yours and I didn’t want anyone or anything to ruin that or turn it into something bitter and sad. “
“If I were to kiss you again, would you also want to keep that a secret?” 
He shakes his head, his nose gently nudging her’s with the movement.
“Nah, I’d wanna scream it from the fucking rooftops.” 
When she kisses him he is 9 years old again, seeing his future staring right back at him through the face of a little girl. He is 12 years old kissing her in the field, a kiss he’d kept with his heart ever since. He is 14 crying on the floor of her room the night he got back from the Amsterdam trip with his dad. He is 16 and a prick to everyone but her. 
He is 25 and more in love than he’s ever been.
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“50 fucking pence? Are you joking?”
“Nope. Dead serious.” 
“That’s fucking mental.” 
Her laughter echoes through the night as they walk down the familiar streets paved with countless memories. He#s holding her hand and he’s never felt more delighted about anything so simple. 
“They still taste fucking great though.” 
“They do, don’t they?” 
Leave it to (Y/N) to continuously surprise him. As they started their walk back towards her house, she pulled two Cadbury Freddos from her sparkly purse. Jamie can almost feel the sun on his skin from all the walks they did to the corner shop during summer holidays to get some Freddos and a smarties pop-up ice.
“Don’t tell Roy I ate chocolate though, he’s gonna kick me ass.” 
“Your secret’s safe with me.” 
Her childhood home is coming into view just down the road and with it the end of this night. The door is a deep red color, he remembers (Y/N) helping her dad paint it when she was maybe 10 or 11 and her parents never seemed to have changed it since. 
“Soooo what’s happening now?” 
It feels a little silly to ask but Jamie has spent so much time keeping his questions inside of his head and not voicing them to her and he wonders just how much time he wasted because of that. Time he could’ve spent with (Y/N).
“I — I don’t know, Jamie. I want this to be. I want us to be, always did. Probably always will. But I don’t want you to choose me because being home pushed you into some kind of nostalgia-induced stupor or something. I want you to be sure about us. So, how about you sleep on it and tomorrow morning you pick me up for breakfast and we’ll talk? “
If he’s being entirely honest, he doesn’t want to talk. All he wants is to kiss her and then kiss her some more. To make up for every second that he wasted not telling her how he felt. But she is being rational and sensible as always and he has to respect that. Out of the two of them, she was always the reasonable one while Jamie did first and then thought about it later.
“Okay yeah. I’ll see you in the morning then.” 
“Goodnight, Jam.” 
“Night, (Y/N). You look beautiful by the way, not sure I said it.” 
“Thanks, you look very handsome too.” 
There’s an I love you on the tip of his tongue and he so desperately wants to say it but when she places a kiss on his cheek and opens the red door, all his thoughts just slip from his mind.
“Bye, Jamie.” 
“Bye.” 
He stays stuck for a moment or two before his legs slowly carry him down the road. The night is inky black and the street lamps' horrid orange-hued light reflects against the asphalt. 
So many times he’s walked down this exact road wondering what could be. Wondering how to show her how much he loved her. Wondering if someday, somehow they would end up together. 
9-year-old Jamie knew she was his destiny from the moment their eyes met across the football field. What would he think seeing him now, walking away from all he ever wanted? 
What’s that quote from that romcom the team watched together the other day?
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
The shiny black shoes he’s wearing are not meant for running. He figures that out as he turns on the spot and rushes back down the street toward the red door. There is no need for him to sleep on anything. He has never been more sure about anything in his life. Ever.
His heart is racing as he reaches the house, as he knocks on the door, and as he rings the doorbell — for good measure. 
His heart stops when she opens the door, her dress gone and exchanged for a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt.
“Jamie? You forgot something?” 
“I don’t need to sleep.”
“What?” 
“I don’t need to sleep on it. I know what I want. I want us, I want you. Always did. Always will. You’re the only person I want to talk to when I feel shit and you’re the first person I want to tell when something good’s happened. I want to ride my bike with you the way we did when we were kids and eat freddos with you even if they’re 50 fucking pence now, which is insane. I want to go to weddings with you and dress up fancy and I want to sit on the couch and watch movies with you we’ve both seen a million times. I want you to make fun of my stupid earring and have you help me dye my hair and I want to kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are every single fucking day. I want everything and anything as long as it involves you. And I don’t need to sleep on it. I am sure.” 
“Jamie?” 
“Yeah?!”
“Kiss me!” 
He doesn’t need to be told twice. 
It feels right, to hold her and to kiss her. Like all his life has been leading up to this moment. To her soft lips on his and her hands in his hair and his hands on her waist.
And he thinks she might just feel the same. She doesn’t need to say it to let him know. She tells him with his tongue, with the gentle touch of her fingers against his skin, with her breath in his lungs. 
He is 9 years old and also 12 and also 14 and 16 and 20 and 25. He is all those versions of himself and each of them was and is in love with (Y/N).
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