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plus-size-reader · 3 years

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Engaged

Not Really Goodbye pt.2

Peeta Mellark x Plus size!reader

Word Count:1692 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Peeta having to explain his engagement to you, the woman he loves

Part 1

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Marrying Katniss hadn’t been Peeta’s idea.

Quite frankly, none of this was his idea to start with; not pretending to be together, lying to everyone he cared about, not getting engaged, not going on the tour. It was all stuff he’d been dragged into without even meaning to.

Unfortunately though, that didn’t make it any easier to explain the whole engagement thing to you.

This whole thing was too complicated to just break down, too dangerous to get out of, and even if he wanted to try, Peeta knew the truth. It was too late to get out now, no matter what he did.

Still, it would break your heart, just as it was currently breaking his.

Ever since the two of you were children, you assumed that you would end up being together. You had been inseparable all your lives, never going too far without the other, and your mother often joked that there were no better friends in the world.

That much had always been true.

It wasn’t until you got a bit older that you started really thinking about the possibility that there may never be no two people better suited for one another than you and Peeta were.

He understood you in a way that no one else ever had and being with him was as easy as breathing. By this time in your lives, you were sure that you would end up married, living on a farm somewhere.

Though, clearly, you’d been a fool to believe that.

News of the engagement reached you and the rest of the districts before Peeta and Katniss could even make it back, which meant that he couldn’t explain. All you could do was listen to the broadcasts and try to put the pieces together yourself.

Naturally, it hurt to imagine that everything you’d come to believe was a lie. However, you weren’t shocked that he would rather marry her.

She was incredible.

In all this time since he’d been whisked away to compete in the games, you could see just how much they had bonded. The games were broadcasted all over Panem and you would have had to have been blind to miss it.

Not only was Katniss a fellow victor, and the only other person who had shared experiences with him, but she was also stunningly beautiful and wonderfully strong.

It was something you could have never hoped to compete with.

You only wished, in your wildest dreams, that you could be like her if not for yourself than for his affections.

You wanted nothing more than for Peeta to look at you in the way that he looked at her, like the world started and ended with her, like every action from her could halt his existence entirely.

She had a power of him that you foolishly thought you had, before he went off to the Capital, but that was never going to happen.

You knew Peeta well enough to know that.

That was exactly why, when he did show up at your door trying to explain, you turned him away. If he loved her, and she made him happy, then you wanted him to be with her.

You didn’t want him to feel the need to apologize, which you assumed he was trying to do when he showed up outside your house.

Knowing Peeta, he just didn’t want to hurt you, didn’t want there to be any hard feelings between the two of you. If that was all he needed, there was no need for you to talk it over, you understood exactly what was happening.

You knew a man in love when you saw one, and you didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

For whatever reason though, Peeta was adamant over what he wanted. He wanted to explain himself, and he needed to talk to you. This was all a huge misunderstanding, and he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he didn’t tell you the truth.

...And, at a certain point, you knew that you were going to have to hear him out. At the end of the day, you cared about Peeta and whatever it was that was so important, you knew that it wouldn’t hurt to hear what it was he needed.

“Peeta, I already told you, I get it” you huffed, opening your door to find him standing there again, waiting for the off chance that you would come out.

You had no idea what he was thinking, but there was one thing you knew for sure. He was going to freeze to death if he stood out here any longer.

“No, you really don’t. Please just let me explain” he begged, hoping that for the third time, you would hear him out. He just kept coming here, asking to see you, and each time he was met with the same answer.

Either you weren’t home, or you weren’t going to answer.

“Come in” you sighed finally, opening the door wide enough for him to pass through. It was clear that he wasn’t going to let this go anytime soon.

You were doing your best to just save face, to keep him from seeing how much it had upset you, but you had started to accept it. You were coming to terms with what it would mean, with the fact of the matter, Peeta was going to get married.

Peeta was going to get married, and he wasn’t going to get married to you.

That was just what was happening and there was no use fighting it. If you could understand that, you didn’t get why it was so hard for him.

It seemed simple enough.

“Katniss and I are getting married, but it isn’t because I want to” he grumbled, rubbing his hands together lightly as he started to explain, doing his best to gather his thoughts. It wasn’t until he was in the heat of your home that he realized just how cold it had been, the warm air nipping at his skin.

You nodded, having heard this all before. You felt like you knew, felt like you understood what was going on, but Peeta was far from finished.

This wasn’t about him and Katniss, it wasn’t about a wedding, this was about the two of you and nothing more.

“What are you talking about? Why would you be getting married if you don't want to?” you asked, sitting down beside him on the couch, trying your best to wrap your head around what he was saying.

It didn’t make any sense to you.

For what reason, other than the fact that you loved someone, would you get married? Besides, you saw the way he looked at her while they were in that arena, you knew that he must love her.

That was all you needed to be married.

That was more than most of the people of twelve had and they made it work. Your relationships were formed mostly for survival, and in a desperate attempt to form some kind of life with what you’d been given.

“This is bigger than it seems, but I promise I can explain” he tried, gingerly resting his hand on your knee as he tried to make this work. You weren’t sure that you believed it, but it wouldn’t kill you to give him a chance to make you believe.

So, you settled in for one of the most complicated stories of all your life. Evidently, the events of the games, and what had happened in the capital, was bigger than you could have ever assumed.

It was bigger than both of you.

The more Peeta explained, the more you put together in your head, the more you understood. Of course he had to marry her, if he didn’t, there was no telling what Snow would do.

He had already threatened all of Katniss’ family and you were sure that he’d done the same to Peeta.

There was a chance they would kill you, if this didn’t go the way they wanted, and for Peeta, that was the worst thing that could happen. In all your lives, he’d only ever really had you and if something happened to you, he’d have nothing left.

You were the one. You were the one who came to check on him the night before the reaping, who combed his hair on the day of so he would look nice. You were the only one to come see him before he left for the games.

Every time he needed someone, it was always you there, waiting for him.

If he didn’t have you, Peeta didn’t have anything.

He hated the idea of doing this, of getting married to a woman who wasn’t you, of putting you through this but in the big picture, it was better than losing you. It was better than having to go through life knowing that you died because of a choice he made.

Having to do that would kill him.

It was difficult enough that the two of them had to lie to the world, that he and Katniss didn’t really care for one another in that way. Adding another element, or another person, in your case, would be far too much.

He hated this, but if it was what he had to do to keep you safe, Peeta wasn’t going to apologize for that. You were too important to risk, for any reason.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really am. I just don’t have a choice” he huffed, using up all his breath in a hurried attempt to get everything he needed to get out before you started drawing your own conclusions.

...But you didn’t need him to say sorry.

You understood why he was going to do it.

Backing out of the wedding could end all of your lives and as much as you loved him, nothing was worth that. Similarly to Peeta, you figured that a life without him, knowing that he was alive, would be better than one where he died trying to be with you.

It was hardly a fairy tale, but real life rarely was.

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plus-size-reader · 3 years

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Not Really Goodbye

Peeta Mellark x Plus size!reader

Word Count:1519 words

Warnings: This one hurt my feelings

Summary: Having to say goodbye to Peeta when he leave for the games

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You and Peeta had been nearly inseparable all your lives.

In fact, there had never really been a time that you were away from one another for more than a few hours. It just didn't happen, though to be fair, District twelve wasn't really big enough to put that much sizable distance between you.

You worked in his family's bakery most of the time, and when you weren't there, the two of you were at school together or walking the streets to pass the time. There wasn't much to do in a place mainly good for coal mining.

Still, when you weren't together, you were always thinking about the other.

Peeta was almost always on your mind, and while you didn't think twice about it as a child, that changed as the two of you grew older. The older you got, the more you realized that Peeta was more to you than your best friend, and the feeling seemed to be mutual.

...And not remotely a secret.

It was common knowledge in all of District twelve that you couldn't survive without him by your side, and as far as you knew, you couldn't. So, when his name was called at the reaping ceremony, you felt like someone had shot a hole through your middle.

You could feel a pit in your stomach that would never be repaired.

All you could think about as you stood in the dirt, your hands folded in front of you, was what could happen once he left the safety of district twelve. You were terrified, having grown up every year watching the broadcasts.

No one in Panem was a stranger to the brutal sights that came out of the games but for some reason, you never thought that Peeta would be in any kind of danger. You just couldn't imagine your life without him.

If Peeta died, it would certainly kill you.

However, before you could spend too much time thinking about that, you decided that there was one other thing that was more important. All you could think about as they led him away behind those curtains was getting to him.

You knew that you wouldn't have much time to say goodbye before he was whisked away, assuming they would even let you see him at all. Nothing was guaranteed but you weren't going to squander that opportunity.

For all you knew, it was going to be the last you would ever get.

It took quite some time before you could actually go meet him, but when you did, it was an experience that you were sure that you'd never forget.

The halls were deathly silent as you walked toward his room, making quick work of the distance with fast feet. It didn't hurt that you were being ushered along by a rather pushy peacekeeper, who would probably keep you from seeing him if given the option.

None of them really cared if something bad happened to you, or anyone else in twelve. You were expendable to them, just more poor folk that they didn't want under their boot. Still, it was hard not to be a little grateful to them for letting you see Peeta one last time before he had to leave.

They didn't have to let you see him, but if nothing else, they gave you a few more minutes with him than you would have gotten before.

You expected to see Peeta's family within the confines of his room, but when you opened it, he was entirely alone, staring out onto the street through the window. He had no idea what the future had in store for him, but there was no use really wondering right now.

He'd figure it all out in time.

Though, thankfully, before he could delve fully into his upset and start overthinking, you cleared your throat behind him. Neither of you said anything at first, just slowly wrapping each other up in a huge hug.

There weren't really words for what you were feeling right now, to be fair.

"Is your family on their way? I don't want to intrude on their goodbyes" you asked, worried that you would upset his mother if she arrived to you already there. However, before you could worry too much, Peeta shook his head.

His mother had been in already, and left without much to say which as far as he knew, was as good as it was going to get from his family. Really, he had just been waiting for you. Neither of you really thought this day would ever come.

Peeta could only imagine how you were feeling.

"What are you thinking right now?" he asked, gingerly brushing a single tear from your cheek. You had been periodically staring at the ground since you'd entered, making it abundantly clear to Peeta that you were trying to keep it together.

You were hiding something, but he didn't have to guess what was upsetting you like he normally did. You both knew what was wrong with you, but he knew that you needed to say whatever it was that was on your mind.

For all either of you knew, this would be the last chance you would ever have. As hard as that was the accept, it was the reality of the world you lived in and no one could do anything about that.

"I just can't believe this is happening? Are you sure you have to go?" you asked, your eyes screwing shut as you tried to keep the tears at bay. You swore that you weren't going to cry when you came in here, but you couldn't help it.

The two of you just had never been apart for this long and you weren't sure how it was going to go. Not to mention the fact that you couldn't be sure that he would actually make it back, which would make this the last time you would ever speak.

Overall, it was just too much for one person to handle.

"I don't have a choice" he shrugged, doing his best to keep it together for the pair of you. He was the one facing death but really, he felt more guilty for putting you through this, even if it wasn't his fault.

You just didn't deserve to go through hurt like this and it killed him that he really couldn't do anything about it.

"Just promise me you'll try and come back, okay?" you sniffed, practically begging him to do it, even though you both knew the chances were slim. District twelve hadn't won the hunger games in a number of years, and it just didn't look good.

Still, you just had to believe that he would be okay. It was the only chance you had, and even if it wasn't all that realistic, you didn't care. You were rather sure that you couldn't survive if you had to wake up to the news that he'd been killed, or sleep in the first place with such a mounting threat.

However, before you could think too much about what could happen to him, you were startled by a yell from outside the door. It would seem that the peacekeepers patience was wearing a bit thin from waiting.

"Hurry up in there!"

You jumped just a bit at that, but recovered quickly because you knew what that meant. You and Peeta didn't have much time left before he had to leave. It was far from ideal but just like most of what had happened today, there was nothing either of you could do today.

"Hey, it's okay. Whatever happens, it's okay" Peeta assured, watching you start to shut down once again at the idea of what was happening. It didn't even seem real for the most part, until you got those sick reminders that it was.

It wasn't.

It really wasn't, but you weren't about to tell Peeta that.

Instead, you nodded, wiping away the tears that had started to well up again. "Just be careful" you pleaded, snuggling into his waist again, holding him tight as if that would make it all go away. Of course, it didn't work, but you just had to try.

"It's time to go now, okay? I love you" he whispered, gingerly tilting your face up toward his own to get you to meet his eyes. Then, without really giving the action much though, Peeta leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

It wasn't something he ever would have done normally, or should have done given the circumstances, but he couldn't help himself. If he didn't do it now, he would never get the chance and as selfish as that was, he couldn't think about that.

Almost as soon as you separated, you were both taken in separate directions, very much against either of your will. Still, you did your best not to fight it, knowing that it would do no good. All you could do now was hope that that really wasn't goodbye.

You wanted to make sure that you got the chance to tell him back, after all.

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plus-size-reader · 4 years

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Human

Peeta Mellark x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1368 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Peeta falling in love with his stylist and spending all of his free time with her

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Each of the tributes had to be ready for their close up at any time. That meant that each one of them had an entire team of dedicated stylists and designers in their camp, constantly at the ready to make sure they looked their best.

You, being a relatively fresh face in the capital, had been given the very tedious job of making sure Peeta Mellark, of district twelve, looked like a million bucks wherever he went.

It was your job to make sure there wasn’t a single hair out of place when those cameras turned on.

That being said, you never really got to know your clients all that well. It was about getting the job done and other than that, small talk really wasn't in the description. However, as soon as Peeta sat down in your chair, you knew that he was going to be different.

He was nervous, having never done anything like this before and having only been in the capital for a few hours. He wasn’t sure how anything was done or what he was supposed to say but it didn’t matter. You found his anxious energy kind of charming, it was new for you.

Usually, tributes came in here already arrogant and sure that they would win. It was sort of refreshing to see someone really acting human for once.

...He was scared, and you couldn’t blame him.

Mostly you two just talked while you slicked back his hair and brushed glitter on his cheekbones. Something was different today though, from the second he was in front of you, you could tell that something was really on his mind.

Peeta was never this quiet.

“What’s up today? You’re usually much more chatty” you hummed, running your hands through his hair a few times while you looked at him in the mirror. He was going to be meeting Caesar Flickerman today, and that was always a big deal.

All of the capital would see him today, which meant that sponsors and fans alike would be tuned in. If anything was out of place when he walked out on that stage, it would not only be bad for you, but it would also spell bad news for Peeta.

He may need their support out in the arena and you would hate to be the reason he could lose possible aid.

...You didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

The more you got to know Peeta, the more you hated everything that was happening. It had never really affected you before, but you had never been close to tribute like you were with Peeta. Before him, the bodies in your chair were just that, bodies.

It had never mattered what happened to them.

Peeta answered you with a heavy sigh, doing his best to figure out how he wanted to tell you what he’d recently realized. He wasn’t sure if he should ever tell you, but now wasn’t the time to rethink the way he was feeling.

He could be dead in a couple of days anyway.

“I really like you and I wanted to know if you’d want to come up to the penthouse for dinner tonight?” he tried, spitting out all the words at once in a great big jumble. He had been shot down plenty of times in his life but with you it was different.

You made Peeta feel okay, like the world wasn’t about to cave in around him.

It was a welcome distraction, all things considered.

However, you weren’t sure what to say. You made it a general rule not to ever get involved with any of your clients because it made things too complicated.

Not to mention how difficult it could be to fall for someone who was going into the games. How were you supposed to fall in love knowing that in another few days, he could be dead?

You just weren’t sure.

Still, you wanted to go to dinner with him.

Something about Peeta made you want to suspend all of the rules that you had for yourself and you couldn’t help it. You really cared for him, and there was no good reason to ignore that.

Even if there was that added danger, or that added concern, that wasn’t enough for you to stop caring for him.

“Are you sure about that Peeta? Is that something we should really do?” you hummed, trying to talk to him at the same time as you brushed his hair.

You hadn’t thought about this before, but now that it was out in the open, you wanted to talk about it. There was something going on between you and you either had to ignore it or do something about it.

You were at a crossroads, and there was no going back to the way it was after that.

It was a huge step, but toward what you weren’t sure.

However, before you could completely lose your mind with nerves, Peeta stopped you. “I don’t see why not? I think that it could be fun” he grinned, turning around to look you in the face.

He could see you in the mirror just fine but making real eye contact was different. It made him feel complete and there was no reason to avoid that, as far as he was concerned.

From his standpoint, he was looking at a fight to the death and if he could face that, he could certainly ask out the girl that he liked. In fact, you were one of the best things to have come out of this whole thing.

...He had a point.

“Okay, sure. I’ll come up to the penthouse tonight” you agreed, smiling at him before turning him back around to make sure that he was put together before he went out on that stage.

A good idea or not, it was worth a shot and you were in no position to try to avoid it.

You weren’t sure how to feel as the elevator climbed the floors all the way up to the penthouse, excited for your evening with Peeta, even as stressed as you were.

It was just Peeta, and you had no reason to be scared of him...even if you were feeling all kinds of ways about this evening.

“Hey! I was worried you weren’t going to make it” he smiled, his grin widening more and more as he closed the space between the two of you.

He had been waiting for what seemed like forever but now that you were here, it was all worth it.

“I wouldn’t miss it” you hummed, reciprocating the hug that he offered you, only noticing the other people in the room when you pulled away from him.

For some reason, you had been expecting it to just be the two of you when he invited you. Not that you could really complain about the other people in the space, considering the circumstances.

You were lucky you were even allowed up here at all.

“Well, I’m still glad you decided to come” he shrugged, reaching down to take your hand in his own gingerly. It wasn’t something he’d really planned on doing, but it just seemed right.

After all, you were pretty much relying on Peeta to be your security blanket in this situation. He was the only person you were really comfortable with.

“Everyone, this is Y/N, my stylist” he introduced, pulling your chair out for you without missing a beat. It was sort of strange, to share an evening with so many strangers but you didn’t mind.

You were just doing your best to enjoy your evening.

All you did was wave to them in greeting, scooting over slightly as you waited for him to take his place at your side. “Would you care for some dinner?” Peeta offered, that same grin on his face as he looked at you.

He was beaming from ear-to-ear, and that was enough to bring back your confidence in the situation. There was nothing bad that could happen right now.

Right now, you two were just a couple of people having dinner and that was all you had to be, for once.

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