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theundergroundarchives · 4 years

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Band Crush: Meet the Shah Alam-origin five-piece Heavside, who are bursting onto the scene with their ardent emo rock-infused music

A promising five-piece emotive rock outfit that has been in the making since 2019, Heavside is a Shah Alam-origin act consisting of members Akhil (vocals), Izzul Azmi (guitar), Hafiz Razman (guitar), Edad Naza (bassist) and Hafiz Nazri (drummer). Despite it’s only been than a year since they first emerged as a band, Heavside has built an outstanding profile starting with the release of their debut extended play, “For What It’s Worth” which then saw a follow-up tour held in Malaysia and the next-door country, Singapore. They’ve also opened up for a number of international acts including that of the Australian acts, Idle Eyes, Proposal and Indonesian bands, Car Crash Coma and Senja Dalam Prosa. In a recent quick catch-up interview session with Heavside, writer Ainaa Amirrah asks them about their past live experiences, current plans amidst the Covid-19 and future visions.

Words by Ainaa Amirrah

Hi Heavside! So how have you guys been doing these days during RMO?

To be honest, it’s been hard for us. We miss hanging out, the weekly jamming and practice sessions so much. But yeah, we need to do what needs to be done, right? So, to people out there, please stay at home so that we could hang out soon!

What’s new about Heavside? Does the on-going RMO and Covid-19 situation disrupt your creative process or plans in making music? If yes, how do you guys overcome these setbacks?

Currently, we’re in the midst of writing new songs for our upcoming releases. So far, it’s been a productive period for us since more focus is now dedicated to write new stuff. As of this moment, we almost have four to five new songs that are ready to be put some final salts and peppers on top of them!

Since its inception, Heavside has actively been playing at live shows with the recent gigs witnessing the band become the supporting acts for established acts like the native long-standing indie rock outfit OAG and American’s own Crown the Empire. Perhaps, can you tell us about Heavside since its inception to this moment?

It was in 2018, when Hafiz and Izzul came back from seeing Movements’ live show in Kuala Lumpur. That was the starting point. All of us already knew each other since most of us have had our own bands previously and even met few times at the gigs. But, since all of the bands went on hiatus, we decided to get everyone together, forming a new band. So, that’s how Heavside was formed.

Having been in the same band now, how would you guys describe the personality of one another?

If Heavside is a company, Hafiz will be placed inside the Operation or Marketing Department, Edad will be working within the Finance Department, and Akhil and Izzul will be operating as the creatives of the company!

What’re the latest songs and gig that you guys had played for prior to the current Covid-19 situation? Perhaps, any forthcoming plans in the works once RMO is over?

We would always end our set in each show with our own "A Better Day". So that's it, the last song that we played during 2020AG Tour, the last gig that we’ve played for before Covid-19 overtook everything. The next one in the schedule will be “I Kry A Lot” show organized by BASE Point Event Space. It was supposed to be on 28th March, but now it’s postponed and the new date is yet to be confirmed. We are super stoked to play for this one. Check the event out on their Instagram and Twitter. Search for @ikryalot.

So you guys joined the 2020AG Tour last February. As a newly emerged act inside the music scene, how does it feel like to be selected as a supporting act for the Malaysian long-standing indie rock outfit OAG?

Being able to tag along with the one and only OAG on their series of tour was such a milestone for us. It’s one of the experiences that we’ll keep as our talking points, forever!

What serves as the inspirations for Heavside?

Our circle of friends play a big role in our writing. Most of the songs we wrote are basically about them. But then again, we don’t have any specific individual when it comes to writing, we would usually just have fun at what we love doing. But who inspires us in life? Each one of us and every single one who has bought our stuff and has fun being with us!

Best gigs you guys have played for?

It sounds cliché, but all shows that we’ve played for have their own memories and are special on their own. But! If guns on the head, and we got to choose just one, RANTAI ART FEST 2019 would be it, just because there were lots of our close friends who had showed up and sang along with us that day. Amazing!

Best moments that you guys have ever had as a band?

Whenever we play a show together. Those moments will always be the ones that we are going to keep to ourselves forever. But if we got to choose one, I guess it’s the whole journey of our first Malaysia – Singapore Tour. Five days straight of back to back shows with the boys. By far, there’s nothing that could top those moments yet.

Perhaps, can you tell unfold in-detailed about the Singapore’s tour experience?

We were quite anxious when we went there for the first time. We didn’t know what to expect. But what happened next was unbelievable. We had a blast! People enjoyed the show, came and bought our merchandise despite the fact that some of them just heard about us few hours before the show. Shout out to Chris, Nick and others from @thirdeyesshow and @dogswain. You guys really made us feel like home during our time there. Love teruk!

2019 was undeniably such a good start for Heavside, you guys released your debut extended play, your first music video and even toured to Singapore. Despite being a band that’s supposedly still on its way of starting up, there have already been so many achievements unlocked. What do you guys feel about this?

To be honest, we’re kind of overwhelmed with the positive responses and such achievements, being the less-than-one-year-old band that we are. We believe this is all because of the hard works and determination that have been invested into the band. On top of everything, we’re fortunate enough to have dedicated friends and people who keep supporting us, pushing us to go further. Without them, we probably wouldn’t have been where we are now. But still, there’s a lot of room of improvements that we got to work on! We hope, in the coming years, we can achieve more than what we had during our starting year. Fingers crossed!

We all know about the cool merchandises from Heavside! Are they still available and how do we get it? Perhaps, will there be more merchandises coming from the band in future?

All credits go to Akhil and Izzul who made the cool merchandises. We believe that’s the perk of having a graphic designers as your bandmates, right? Yeah, of course, there are more merchandises being planned out, and probably, our own web store soon. Stay updated! To this date, there are few remaining tour merchandises which are still available. You might want to check them out on our social media pages. Now!

Where do you visualize Heavisde within the next half a decade?

In next five years, Heavside will become a 6-year-old band. So, most probably, by the time, we’re already going to have two albums and one split extended play maybe? And a Europe tour, perhaps?

So, will 2020 be “a better year” for Heavside?

Ay, we dig the pun! Yeah, of course, we want to have a better year ahead. We already got something planned out, waiting to be rolled out. We’re probably going to release our debut full-length album and go on more tours, not only in Malaysia, but hopefully all around Southeast Asia. Who knows, Japan, Korea and Australia might be in the list? That’s the vision for now.

#tuazine

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magzoso-tech · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/new-year-2020-our-gadgets-wishlist-from-iphone-9-to-mi-tv-4x/

New Year 2020: Our Gadgets Wishlist, From iPhone 9 to Mi TV 4X

There’s nothing like having a shiny new gadget to play with. Well, until the second week anyway — when you start looking forward to the next one, eh? That would be funny except materialism is no funny topic in a world that’s facing a climate emergency. Thanks, unchecked capitalism. But that’s not going to automatically make you not want things, but the least that you can do when the planet is burning is be responsible. More so for tech stuff that use rare-earth elements. Don’t discard something that still works, and if you’ve to buy a new one, read about its environmental impact.

Depressed yet? Anyway, here’s what the Gadgets 360 staff will be keeping its eye on in 2020. It includes TVs, laptops, smartwatches, (wireless) headphones, gaming consoles and services, and naturally, phones. And… shoes? Yes, shoes.

Aditya Shenoy: Samsung Galaxy Buds, but better

Last year, I had put the Sena 30K on my wishlist. I didn’t buy it because I found it to be super expensive for what it offered. Cardo does make similar communicators that are better and well-priced but that’ll have to wait since this Chinese V6 Communicator I bought this year is working as expected.

I don’t need a tech product, but I am open to buying a pair of good truly wireless earphones. Currently the Samsung Galaxy Buds are on the list. I hope Samsung launches a successor soon with active noise cancelling. That would be something I’ll be interested to buy.

Buy: Samsung Galaxy Buds, if you can’t wait

Akhil Arora: a new console, maybe?

Someone ought to hold and shake me by the shoulders, just for saying that. A bit of necessary backgrounder: I own more consoles than new games I’ve finished this year, and more controllers than free hours I’ve in the day. And yet, I can’t seem to resist the temptation of the next generation, if only for the better graphics fidelity it will no doubt promise.

But I haven’t named one side because I’m genuinely caught: PlayStation has more exclusives, and Xbox has… Forza Horizon? Contain your astonishment, that’s my life. What Microsoft needs to do then essentially is announce Forza Horizon 5, exclusive to the Xbox Series X. That last bit is very important. Hope you’re (not) listening, Phil. Otherwise, Sony seems the safer bet.

Or maybe I’ll grow some brains and save the money for an upcoming holiday.

Buy: some sensibility

Akshay Jadhav: Sony WH-1000XM3 Wireless ANC Headphones

In 2019, I assembled my new PC, primarily for editing and gaming at home. However, I couldn’t stretch my budget to accommodate a decent pair of headphones. So, in 2020 I am looking out for a killer pair of headphones to complete my setup and I have my eye on the legendary Sony WH-1000XM3 due to its insane active noise cancellation capabilities and superb sound quality. This headphone is still on the pricier side however when it comes to ANC with overall features, it is still slightly better than the Bose QC 35. In 2020, I am hoping that after Sony releases their new XM4 model, the XM3 will go down in price or I can find it on a discounted price during any sale.

Buy: Sony WH-1000XM3 Active Noise Cancellation Headphones

Ali Pardiwala: Apple Arcade

There are a few non-tech products I absolute NEED to buy — a new mattress and shoes — so I’m a bit short on funds for a big tech purchase. However, I do love playing games on my iPad mini (2019), and I think it’s finally time to set aside an extra Rs. 99 per month for Apple Arcade. It may not sound like much, but when I’m already paying for Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hotstar, Spotify, and YouTube Music, even Rs. 99 per month sounds like a lot.

Apple’s gaming service comes with a one-month free trial, and gives you access you a variety of quality games through a unique monthly subscription model. It’s a great way to access new games and might be worth it for me if I can play games that actually put the iPad mini’s power to good use.

Buy: Apple Arcade

Aman Rashid: Nike Air Jordan 1

In 2018, I remember wanting to buy the iPhone XS Max in Gold, but I just couldn’t because I had recently purchased the Galaxy Note 9 at that time, and admittedly my budget was also a bit tight. But yes, I do remember mentioning in my wishlist for 2019 that I would buy the next iPhone. So, iPhone season came, and I got the iPhone 11 Pro in Gold. And with that, I fulfilled the promise to myself of getting the next big thing from Apple.

So now what? Well, now I am having a good time with my iPhone 11 Pro. And looking at my habit of changing phones every year: do I want to upgrade to the iPhone 12 Pro or whatever its name is going to be? Um, I am not so sure right now. I think for me, the iPhone 11 Pro is a very good smartphone that ticks all the correct boxes. So as much as I love my current device, I am not very sure whether I will be upgrading to the iPhone 12 Pro or not.

But this is a question for September 2020. If the new iPhone does look enticing to me, then maybe I might just buy it. In the meantime, what else do I want? Well apart from phones sneakers are something that I am absolutely crazy for and believe me I have got a lot of them. So, iPhone 12 Pro in 2020? Not so sure. More Air Jordan 1s? Yes sir, please!

Buy: Nike Air Jordan 1

Gaurav Shukla: Apple MacBook Air (2020)

It has been a while since I upgraded my laptop and if I remember correctly both my existing laptops are now touching the five-year mark. So, I am thinking of going for the upgraded MacBook Air model that is expected to arrive sometime in 2020. As the latest MacBook Air model available in the market packs the eight-gen Intel core chips, I want to wait until Apple releases the refreshed version with at least the 10th gen Intel core processor options.

It will be my first personal MacBook as even though I currently use an NDTV-provided MacBook Air for official work, I have stuck to Windows for personal computers. I am hoping that not only does Apple upgrade the CPU in the next-generation MacBook Air but also switches the keyboard from butterfly to scissor-switch-based design that it has included in the 16-inch MacBook Pro.

Harpreet Singh: AirPods Pro, Kindle Paperwhite

Last year, I wished to buy Apple’s HomePod in 2019. I waited for a large part of the year, hoping Apple will launch it in India. It didn’t. And then a very wise person I know suggested I wait until Black Friday, which is exactly what I did. I ended up with a generous deal on the HomePod eventually (yes, I had to buy one from the US).

For 2020, I don’t have any solid plans yet. I wish to save some dough, but then you never know. AirPods Pro, a new MacBook Pro 13-inch (ideally one with the new keyboard), and the all-new Kindle Paperwhite are still on my wishlist. Depending on the budget, I might strike at least one of these off by the end of next year.

Buy: AirPods Pro, Kindle Paperwhite

Jagmeet Singh: Apple Watch Series 5

It’s been more than a year since I have the Apple Watch Series 3. Although I’m still getting what I need from the 2017 model, I feel that 2020 would be the year when I would switch to a newer Apple Watch. I generally don’t consider it wise to spend plenty of your hard-earned money on a new Apple device that becomes cheaper in a few months of its launch. Thus, I hope that the latest Apple Watch would get some price drops in the future that would make it a better deal.

What makes the Apple Watch Series 5 a significant upgrade over the Series 3 is its new Always-On Retina display and the ability to record electrocardiogram (ECG). Both features have attracted me since the launch of the new Apple Watch model in September. However, its price tag of nearly Rs. 44,000 for the 44mm case is something that has restricted me to take the buying decision so far.

Apple is likely to bring some notable changes to its smartwatch family in 2020. Nevertheless, I don’t want to spend much on the next-generation Apple Watch and would go with the existing option next year.

Buy: Apple Watch Series 5

Jamshed Avari: nothing, hopefully

It’s highly unlikely that I’ll splash out on anything huge in 2020, or at least unlikely that I’ll plan to. At the moment, everything I have works well enough and isn’t too old. That doesn’t mean I’m immune to the temptations of flash sales or crazy discounts, so who knows how I’ll feel six months from now, and who knows what I’ll end up with! I’ve also developed a bad habit of buying SSDs and RAM because prices keep falling so it’s probably a fair bet that my various devices will end up getting a few minor upgrades.

Nadeem Sarwar: Pixel 4a

The Google Pixel 4a is at the top of my tech wish list for the year 2020 for many reasons, with one of them being the need to upgrade to a new phone. And now that the first major Pixel 4a leak has given us a look at its design, I am more now more inclined to buy it. The Pixel 4a will ditch its predecessor’s thick bezels and will opt for a more modern hole-punch design.

Prabhakar Thakur: iPhone 9, or SE 2

I am thinking of buying Apple iPhone 9 (also called iPhone SE 2) which is rumoured to launch in April 2020. According to reports, the phone may feature A13 Bionic chip and the same chassis as that of the iPhone 8. I hope Apple keeps the bezels thin and provides a bigger battery. I also wish the phone supports fast charging, but I guess I am asking for a bit too much from the company given its past record. A decent camera can be expected as well.

My decision to buy the iPhone 9 will also depend on its price. As per speculations, the smartphone may start selling at $399 in the US. My guess is that it might sell in India for $600 (roughly Rs. 43,000). Waiting for some great deals for the phone also seems like a good idea. iPhone 11 could also become cheaper later in the year. Eventually, it will depend on the best deal that I get both in terms of phone’s capabilities and price. For now, the iPhone 9 is on my mind.

Pranay Parab: AirPods Pro

I was fortunate enough to pick up the AirPods at a big discount a couple of years ago, and I hope 2020 will bring a similar discount on the AirPods Pro. The AirPods Pro has active noise cancellation and excellent sound quality, as we’ve mentioned in our review and podcast, and that makes this a must have for me. While this is the product I want to buy, I will not be picking it up at its current price (Rs. 24,900). I’m prepared to wait till 2021 or till whenever there’s a big discount before buying it. Until then, I’ll continue using my AirPods even though the battery life is down to around 90 minutes at this point.

Buy: AirPods Pro

Roydon Cerejo: games, wireless earphones and chargers

Last year, I said I wanted to buy the Apple Watch Series 4 and, in all honesty,, I almost did. But then, better sense prevailed, and I ended up picking up a used, Series 1 instead. It just didn’t make sense spending the same amount as a mid-range Android flagship, for an accessory. My main need for the Apple Watch was notifications alerts and controlling media volume when using AirPods — all of which the Series 1 handles beautifully.

For 2020, I don’t have an immediate wishlist since I’ve already made pretty big purchases this year, the PS4 Pro being the most recent one. I’ll definitely looking to get more games for the PS4, as and when newer titles drop in price and hit CeX. I’ll probably look at picking up a new pair of truly wireless earphones too. I love my AirPods, but the Samsung Galaxy Buds have spoiled me with its superior audio quality. I’ll be keeping an eye out for the Bose Earbuds 500 or 700, which were teased this year for a 2020 launch.

I wouldn’t mind more wireless chargers at home too. It’s super convenient and now that most people at my place have phones capable of wireless charging, it makes sense to have more of them around the house.

Buy: Samsung Galaxy Buds

Sumit Garg: Mi TV 4X Pro

In 2019, I have got quite a bunch of things for myself. And if we are talking about tech, then my biggest purchase must be the Apple iMac. Yes, I finally got it for myself and I also remember putting it as my wishlist for 2019. And, in 2020 I can finally shift my focus to other things. You know, I just can’t ignore my love for big screens. So, after the iMac, the next purchase I want to make for myself is a TV, and I am pretty sure about the one that I want.

The Xiaomi Mi TV, which is a 4K 55-inch LED TV, is the one I have been keeping an eye on for quite some time. I really like the way it looks, I like its picture and sound quality as well, and on top of everything, the price tag it carries is also that won’t burn a hole in my pocket. I mean come on, for 40k, where will I find such an amazing TV. So, the Mi LED TV 4X Pro it is.

Buy: Mi LED TV 4X Pro

Tasneem Akolawala: Learning apps

There’s no big tech purchase that I’ve planned for 2020, mainly because I’ve got a little toddler in the house that is going through a phase of extreme curiosity. I might invest in a few paid learning apps for my kid, but no big bucks will be spent on tech till he grows up a little more. I also kept my 2019 new flagship phone purchase on hold, even though my iPhone 6s went kaput this year, as predicted. I’m making do with a budget Android phone for now that helps fulfil my texting and calling needs.

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#Miscellaneous

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saintmccann · 7 years

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Lovedrunk

This is a two parter!

Prompt: a salty pairing of Van and the reader find out the other is back in their small town for the holidays six and a half years after the breakup that led him to write a number of songs for the first album (think Kathleen, Outside, etc). Drunk arguing in the bar. It can only end badly.

_______

"You're drunk." It's the first thing you notice as you walk in the old bar owned by Lou, a mutual friend’s father, finding him sitting at one of the tables, an almost empty bottle in front of him.

"No kidding." He sighs, leaning his head back, his hands rubbing his temples softly.

You'd been avoiding each other all day.

"Mary is worried about you."

"That's new." He snorts, opening his eyes again, trying to focus them on the glass. "She's really going for the mother of the year title, isn't she?"

"Van, don't be a bastard. Get up, drink some water, sleep it off and pretend you don't hate being here for a few more hours tomorrow."

"Why'd they send you, anyway?" He looks at you, ignoring your order, picking up his glass in the same movement. Fluid, despite the alcohol making his head spin. "I mean of all the people…"

"I was the only one sober enough to drive over. Well, me or Abby, but I figured that wouldn't have ended well." You lie.

"Appreciate it." Shrugging, he pours more alcohol in his glass. "Have a drink with me."

"Not planning to, sorry."

"Why not?"

"Akhil's waiting."

"Fuck. Forgot about him." Shaking his head, he downs almost half the liquid in one smooth move. "Never could stay away from your exes, could you?"

"Fuck you." You hiss, body moving toward the door. Realizing what you were doing, he jumps out of the chair, commanding his body to listen as he moves swiftly in front of you.

"Don't."

"I made sure you're alive, I'm done here."

"Why do you hate me so much, huh?" He looks into your eyes, emotionless. "I mean, honestly, you're no fucking Snow White in our story. You don't really have a place to come from being this angry with me."

"I don't hate you." You shake your head. "I just don't want to drink with you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't, ok? Insulting me and digging up the past not good enough reasons for you?" Trying to push past him, you sigh when he steps in front of you again.

"One drink."

"No."

"Half a drink?" He offers, an awkward half smile on his face and you feel your defenses melting away. Remembering the other reasons why you'd volunteered to check up on him, you nod your head, starting to unbutton your coat.

"I don't care if you have to crawl, you're walking me back to the B&B."

"Not staying at your mother's?"

"She and Akhil don't get along." You shrug again, heading behind the counter, looking for a glass.

"Bottom shelf, to your left." Van points out and you give a small smile of gratuity, putting it on the counter.

"Tell me at least you have some ice to mix that with."

"There should be some in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

Sitting down at the table a few moments later, you try to pick up the bottle but he takes it first, filling the glass up.

"Best thing about people not knowing what to get you for Christmas - they just get you booze."

Your lips tightening as you force a smile, you try not to think of the state Akhil must be in.

"Sorry." He apologizes, the change in your attitude not unnoticed.

"Forget about it." You pick up the glass, shaking your head before you empty half of it, hoping for numb abandon. "How's the band?"

"Good. Busy. The journalism?"

Going quiet again, you take another sip from the bitter drink, staring at the bottom of the glass. "I got offered a new role."

"Anything good?"

"Things in North Korea are looking bad again. There's probably going to be a war soon. My paper wants me to go cover it. I'd be as close to the border as possible right now."

"So you're going to do the whole foreign correspondent thing after all?"

"I don't know yet." You shrug after a short pause, looking at your now almost empty glass. He refills it, wordlessly.

"Why not?"

"It's complicated."

"Him?" He avoids his name and you acknowledge it with a nod.

"Mom too. She's not too happy about the possibility of me going somewhere dangerous."

"Hasn't that always been the dream?"

"I guess it's scarier when the dream is real." You shrug, eyes fixed on a chair.

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"Does it scare you?"

"I don't think so." You look at him instead, teeth biting your lip. "I just wish it was an easy decision to make."

"It is. Do whatever would make you happiest."

"Figures you'd tell me that. As selfless as usual, aren't you?"

"Living up to the expectations." Van smirks, looking at the empty bottle. "You think they'd at least like me enough to give me grown up sized bottles. I have gin."

"No more vodka?" You pout slightly, picking up your glass. Now, the thought of being next to Akhil is suffocating.

"Give me a minute." He picks up one of the still wrapped packages in the bag next to the table and unwraps it, a new bottle of vodka inside. "Huh, I always thought people would peg me for more of a whiskey guy."

"Are you?"

"I'll drink anything." He shrugs, looking at the kitchen. "Ice?"

"I'll get it." Standing up, you brace yourself against the table, hand holding to the edge. Dropping the ice tray on the table a few seconds later, you smile. "Lou is going to kill you tomorrow morning when there's no ice in the freezer."

"It's December. Who the fuck's gonna need ice?"

"Larry? He’s difficult about that. Although I think he was hitting the bars with some mates, so he may not be here tomorrow."

"I may not be Lou's favorite person, but I'm sure he won't care much about Larry's needs."

"Van, don't say that. You know Lou…"

"I know." He waves his hand slightly, refilling the glasses, ice already melting in them. "Doesn't matter. So…the job?" Changing the subject back, he looks into your eyes, long eyelashes framing glassy drunk eyes.

"I don't know. I have until the New Year to answer. I'll think about it. It's just…all this stuff all happening at once and I have to decide and I can't do it. It’s all so much"

"What else is up?" He leans back in the chair, eyes not leaving yours. You bite your lip again, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, hesitant. Taking a deep breath, you speak.

"Akhil's going to propose." You breathe out after a few seconds of tense silence. "I heard him on the phone."

"I take it my best wishes would be out of place."

"I don't know." You shrug, focusing on the drink instead. "He's going to use the same ring he gave me last time." You take a small sip from your drink, letting the liquid burn your mouth before swallowing. "I don't want to sound materialistic, because it's not about the ring itself. I'd rather he used that. Money's been tight since he went back to working for his dad. He's making him work harder this time," you explain briefly. "But the thing is that it feels like he's offering me the same life I already said no to once. And he hasn't changed much from the guy he was in college - hell, if anything, he's worse now than he was the first time he proposed. And I just don't know which life I want, the society dinners and little black dresses or the crawling around trenches or if there is some middle ground between those." Noticing his knuckles are almost white from clenching around the glass, you shake your head, remorseful. "I'm sorry. You're not the person to put all of this on."

"No, I'm not." His voice is colder than before.

"You asked,” you reply, trying to defend yourself. "I suppose I'll figure something out."

"Go to Korea. If he loves you enough, he'll wait. And the fucking cocktail life will surely be there when you're old."

"It's not that easy, Van."

"Like hell it isn't." He watches you as you stand up, starting to pace around the room, empty glass forgotten on the table.

"You don't know anything about us." You stop pacing suddenly, eyes looking straight at him. "It's not how we work. Being apart for months, maybe a year, two? We could never make it. We barely made it last time."

"Then leave him a fucking note on the nightstand tomorrow morning, telling him you don't want to do it."

"Go to hell." She closes her eyes, his words echoing inside her head. "That's low even for you."

"As low as your note to me was or worse?" Van stands up, stopping in front of you. "’I can't. I'm sorry.’"

"I remember." You bite your lip, backing away from him until your back hits the counter. "Is that why you came here? To guilt me for that?"

"I came because Lou actually drove over to London to ask me to come off tour for the family. Don't fool yourself." He steps closer to you.

"Hey, at least I left a note. I didn't jump across the world and let you find out from someone else."

"No, you jumped right out of my bed and into his."

"Right, 'cause I'm sure you spent your time crying yourself to sleep over me."

"Was that what you wanted? Because it really didn't feel to me like you left me with a lot of hope of you coming back." Stopping in front of you, he feels your breath hitch, his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. "Crying over spilt milk was never a great passion of mine, I must admit."

"Nice to know that's what I am to you,” you reply, as harsh as he was.

"Melodramatic again? You know fucking well what you are to me."

"I do? You forgot to send me the memo then."

"Really?" Leaning closer to your ear, he takes a deep breath, your scent distracting him for a moment. "Was I not clear enough when I told you you're fucking it for me? You wanted more?"

"I…" you pause, unable to think because of his closeness and his words.

"Seriously, Y/N, tell me what more I could have said. Because I'm a standing under your window with a boombox kind of guy. I’m the write a thousand songs about you kind of guy. And if I had tried to do any of that, coming back here, it would have been uncomfortable, and wrong." Pulling back away from you, he breathes in again, trying to calm himself down.

"I cried for weeks after you left," you state. After a few moments of silence, you speak again, voice steady and seemingly emotionless, eyes focused on his. "Ask mom, she can vouch for it. Hell, ask anyone in this town. So you accusing me of going straight to him after you is unfair. You thinking I didn't care about you is unfair. Leaving you almost broke me." A long, silent pause creeped through the air.

"So why didn't you stay?" Van whispers, taken aback.

"And start again? We're not good for each other, Van. Never were."

"Then how come I can't be without you? If we're this bad, how is it that I still think of you all the fucking time?"

"Don't go there, Van." You beg him, but he shakes his head, stepping closer again.

"You know what I've wanted for the past six years? To forget about you. No, that's not the right way to put this." He corrects himself, shaking his head. "I wanted to not belong to you. For one day. For one fucking minute, I wanted to not feel like you are overwhelmingly possessing my every single cell."

"Please stop,” you plead again.

"Tell me your body doesn't yearn like mine does." His hand touches your face briefly, the jolt reverberating through both of you. "Tell me it doesn't need mine. Tell me that, at least fucking once, you haven't had him touch you while you wished it was me." His voice stops its crescendo, lowering to a whisper again as his eyes close for a moment. "Or if it doesn't, tell me how to stop mine. Because I can barely fucking function without you."

You slide down to the floor, arms wrapped around your knees. Shaking. Unsure of what to do, he sits down too, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

"Don't make me be without you." He presses a kiss to the top of your hair.

"Stop." You manage to squeeze out between heavy breaths and he nods.

"Ok."

He holds you as you silently start to cry, no more words spoken for a long time.

"I have to get back to the B&B. People will be worried." You whisper, pulling yourself from his arms.

"That's it?" Stunned.

"It's all I've got." You stand up again, taking a deep breath.

"Don't go." He pulls himself up to his feet as well.

"Why should I stay, Van? So you can keep saying stuff like that?"

Quiet, he looks at you.

"What you said? It doesn't change a thing." You shake your head, sadly. Resigned. "I didn't leave that night because I didn't want to be with you. I left because I can't be with you. All our mess? I can't take any of that again. I'm sorry." You whisper the last sentence, apologizing to both him and yourself.

"What mess?" He tries to understand.

"You hurt me and I hurt you and then one of us leaves and it's a shit situation."

"Then why is me asking you to stop the leaving a bad thing?"

"Because you're you!" You almost yell, frustrated. "You're standing there and you're making me think that we could work, but there's no real life basis for this. What me can't you be without? The one you've had a handful of conversations with since high school? That was six and a half years ago. I'm not the same."

"Neither am I." A small movement of his head. "Yet you keep assuming I'm going to hurt you."

"I know it."

"Is this still about me leaving? Because there's got to be some sort of statute of limitation to how long I can be held responsible for that."

"It's not that you left, Van. It's that you never gave me a true chance even before that." You stomp your foot slightly, wrapping your arms around yourself. "I don't have the energy to spend day after day with you, wondering if you're going to at least pretend to make an effort. I can't, ok? I just…can't. I'm weak and selfish and way too broken."

"I'm not that guy any more, Y/N." He steps towards you, his hand reaching out and resting on your own. "I left because I was always going to be in a band and because it wasn't fair to you. Did everything else conspire as well? Yes. But that was part of the reason. The biggest part. But you could count on me from the first time I told you that you could, in this very bar. I'm not going to hurt you. I have it all together now-the job, the house, the friends. It's all there."

"I want to believe you." A sad smile on your lips, you shrug. "But it's just…so much stuff. Too much. I can't. There's not enough left of me to handle you." The sentence makes both of them quiet for a long moment. "Being with you because I can't stand to be without you is not good enough." Looking into his eyes, you see the question that never makes it past his lips. "I love you too, Van." Placing a soft kiss on his cheek, you try to control the tears threatening to flow again. "I'm sorry."

Lips pursed together, he stares as you turn your back, leaving. Collapsing in a chair, he picks the bottle up, refilling his glass, eyes fixed on your empty one.

-----

Part 2!

#part 2 is probably gonna be out tomorrow!!#catb #catb fic #van fic #vanfiction

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lordsrivenkateswaraswamy · 5 years

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Protecting your privacy online may seem like a battle you’ve already lost, but take heart. There are steps you can take to minimize harm.

Google knows you better than you know yourself, and Facebook uses the data it’s gathered on people to carry out psychological experiments on them. The Russian app that everyone’s having fun morphing their faces has terms of service that say it basically retains the right to use your data forever (and this iPrs common for most social media apps!). Though some companies like Apple (and even Google) are now trying to make privacy a selling point, the sheer scale of the internet means that everyone is tracking you, from the government, to the police, to most tech companies, often without admitting to this.

With all this, it’s tempting to just throw up our hands and accept that we live in a post-privacy world, but there are some basic steps that we can all take to make our presence on the Internet a little more secure. Some of it is just very basic stuff, like turning your GPS and Wi-Fi off when you’re not using them, and the others involve a little more work, but are still easy enough to do. These are not high-security solutions, and aren’t really going to keep you invisible on the Internet. Instead, these are basic steps we should all simply make a habit of following, no matter what we’re using the Web for, to bring in some basic levels of privacy.

We spoke to a number of people who are not in the tech industry but rely heavily on the Internet to do their jobs, and found that most of them weren’t doing anything in particular to protect their privacy online, because they just weren’t aware of what they should be doing. So we looked at what some experts are saying online about this, and gathered the most easy-to-implement steps in one place.

1. Use burner emails to sign up for services

One common issue that people brought up was being bombarded by spam. Anita Verma, a dentist based in Bengaluru, said she has begun to miss important mails because there is so much spam. “Gmail removes a lot of spam but even then, every day I’m getting mails from brands I’ve never even heard of, and you keep marking things as spam but they don’t go away.” Part of the problem here is that we’re too used to giving our email IDs whenever asked for it, both online and offline.

There are a lot of times when you need to enter an email ID to sign up for a service which you might only use once, and don’t actually need to connect to your real inbox. Your email ID is a valuable piece of data, along with your phone number, and whenever you’re giving this out, think about whether you actually need to do so. A number of sites such as Guerrilla Mail, Maildrop and Burner Mail allow you to create temporary email IDs for forms.

Another useful thing to do is to see which platforms are misusing your email. Gmail, and some other email platforms, allow you to create a ‘new’ email using the plus sign—essentially, if your email is [email protected], you can sign up for services using IDs like [email protected], [email protected], or [email protected] and so on, and all of these emails will come to your inbox. Then, the next time you look at spam and see it’s addressed to, say, [email protected], you know who is leaking your data.

2. Use a VPN

A Virtual Private Network (VPN) is a secure gateway to the Internet. This means that anyone snooping on your connection can see that there’s data moving between you and your VPN, but not what is coming in and out of the VPN. You can run a VPN on your computer or smartphone, and in both cases, it’s as simple as signing up, installing an application and just running that before you start to use the Web.

There are free VPNs, which are either very slow, or have very limited data allowances, so it’s advisable to sign up for a paid VPN from a well-known provider like NordVPN or TunnelBear. “If you’re using a free VPN, you’re either going to have a bad experience with the speed or data limit, or worse, you’ve now put all of your data in the hands of someone who is giving you an expensive service for free,” said Saravanan K, a Bengaluru-based consultant working on security solutions for businesses. “I’m not saying all free VPNs are bad. But I will say that it’s worth spending the money, and a year-long subscription can often be just a few hundred bucks a month.”

3. Change your passwords from defaults

This is a really obvious tip, and yet most people reading this have probably put themselves at risk by not changing the default passwords on their Wi-Fi routers and other Internet-connected devices. Did you know that the Wi-Fi router that your Internet provider gave you comes with a password which you can use to change the Wi-Fi settings? Having access to your router means having access to all your data, so it’s pretty important to know this—if someone connects to your Wi-Fi, and you’re still using default passwords? Then you’ve basically handed over control of your network.

Most home Wi-Fi routers have been compromised, according to research by Banbreach, a Kolkata-based cybersecurity firm. According to Banbreach, cryptojacking—where attackers use your network and computing resources to mine Bitcoin, wearing out your devices and using up your data, in order to make money—is a huge problem in India.

Worse, many people using Internet-connected smart devices don’t think of changing these passwords either. You need only head over to Insecam, which is a listing of non-secure Internet connected cameras around the world to see live feeds from around the country. The good news is that in India, these are mostly in offices; the bad news is that this makes it harder for us as individuals to change the settings on the cameras.

On a related note, invest in a password manager. Password requirements are nuts, and it’s becoming impossible to keep track of all the passwords you’ll need. Either you’ll end up with a lot of weak passwords, or a strong password that you use everywhere, including on insecure sites, making it useless.

4. It’s Fine To Use WhatsApp

SMS is convenient, and it is universal. That’s a big plus. But it’s also possible to be hijacked, and there are reports of multiple police departments and scammers both doing just that, so encrypted communications are a better option.

Although WhatsApp offers end-to-end encryption and hasn’t given into government pressure to trace users yet, the Facebook-owned platform is, owing to its huge reach, a tempting target for any attacker. A recent report showed that media files aren’t secure once they reach your phone, and if you’re using cloud backup for your chats, those aren’t encrypted either.

This doesn’t mean you should stop using WhatsApp. Telegram is an excellent alternative, but WhatsApp conversations are encrypted by default, while you have to opt-in to start a Secret chat on Telegram. This added step is going to be a stumbling block for most people (see above re: passwords). Signal is another alternative, which some would say is more secure.

However, it depends on how much risk each user faces — only a few people need to be at maximum security levels. For the rest of us, basic steps like WhatsApp’s standard choice of end-to-end encryption make sense. Zeynep Tufekci, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, at the School of Information and Library Science, explained here: “WhatsApp’s behavior increases reliability for the user. This is a real concern, as ordinary people consistently switch away from unreliable but secure apps to more reliable and insecure apps.

“Signal is well-designed. Many in the security community use and consistently recommend it. However, the very thing that makes Signal a recommendation for people at high risk—that it drops messages at any sign of hiccup—prevents a large number of ordinary people from adopting it. Our community has used Signal for a long time, and have been trying to convert people to it, but its inevitable delivery failures (some by design, to keep users safer, and some due to bandwidth or other issues) mean that we often cannot convince people to use it despite spending a lot of effort trying to convince them—even people who have a lot at stake.“

5. Make sure all your software is up to date

A lot of people are also very lax about updating their software, using old versions for months (or more) after updates have been released. “My phone kept showing me this message about updating the Android version. I kind of ignored it because who has the time to reboot your phone in the middle of work, which is when the pop-up would show up,” said Akhil Yadav, who works in the marketing division of a technology company.

“Then one day, one of our tech guys saw what I was doing and he gave me a real lecture about it.”

Either you do the same thing Yadav did, or you know people like him. It can be annoying to take out the time to update software in the middle of a busy day, many companies don’t clearly articulate why you should do it, and sometimes an update can cause new problems. Waiting a couple of days after an update comes out to make sure that nothing major is going wrong is not a bad idea—but ignoring updates for weeks, months, and even longer is definitely not recommended.

“Nearly all updates include things called security patches: they close holes in the software that make it easy for someone to hack into your software—and once they do they can often get access to everything on your phone or computer. Software can be very complex and security holes are discovered all the time, so keep an eye on those updates,” notes Amnesty International.

6. Use two-factor authentication

Amnesty also recommends using two-factor authentication (2FA), which is an important step. Two-factor authentication means that you need two different modes of access: something you know (like a password) and something you get (like an OTP). That’s right, all online payments in India require 2FA, and use the SMS OTP as the second factor.

Although this is a good step, it’s even better if the second factor isn’t an SMS-based system. Although SMS 2FA is a very convenient way to control access, this might not work if you’re traveling abroad and don’t have roaming on (for example), and researchers have shown that SMS can be hijacked.

Don’t get us wrong, SMS-based 2FA is still much better than no 2FA. But when you have the option, an authenticator app is a better choice. For example, you can set up 2FA on your Google account so that access to your account is only possible by unlocking an associated phone, and tapping the ‘Yes’ button there. Twitter and Facebook also have similar authenticators. In fact, most popular social media apps and email apps support this feature.

7. Turn off the GPS, limit app permissions, and opt out of tracking where possible

If an app has access to your location data, they’re tracking it as much as possible to understand your habits and behaviors. You’re being watched wherever you go, and often completely unnecessarily. There are a few things you can do to reduce this, and the first step is to turn off your GPS when you don’t need it. Switch it on before calling an Uber or using maps to find your way around—and leave it off the rest of the time.

More importantly, look at what information is being used by which apps. “There can be genuine reasons for asking for this information,” said Saravanan. “For example, many apps ask for SMS inbox access — just so they can read an OTP, and that’s not a bad thing. Some apps might want location access so they can offer information or deals based on where you are.” However, if you’ve got (for example) an alarm clock that wants to know your location, that’s not good.

Some apps that track your information also let you opt out. If you visit myactivity.google.com, you’ll see a list of every website you’ve opened in Chrome, details about your contacts, calendars, and apps from your Android phone, details on your voice records with Google from when you’ve used the Assistant, and all the videos you’ve searched for or watched on YouTube. It’s an unsettling insight into how visible you are.

The good news is that it’s very easy to opt out. Just go to the settings on the same page and go to Activity Controls, and you can pause all your activity history. On all your apps, check the settings to find out what tracking is being done, and what you can opt out of, in order to increase your chances of privacy just a little.

8. Browse in private mode, and disable trackers

Almost all browsers have an incognito or private mode, where they’re not tracking your history and other data. Make this your default browsing environment to keep your data more secure. An easy way to do this is to switch to a browser like Firefox Focus on your phone, since it is designed to block trackers, and delete all history when you exit the app.

You can use apps like Ghostery on your computer to help disable trackers—this browser plug-in works with Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and Edge. It’s one of the most famous apps of this kind, but there are other options as well. Its built-in ad-blocker strips away the ads on websites you visit, and also blocks the trackers that they’re using to follow you around the Internet.

Not only does this increase your privacy, but it also significantly speeds up your browsing because as it turns out, trackers and ads also use up a lot of your data. In a 2016 conversation with this writer, Opera’s CTO had said that 54% of the data that gets used when you load a webpage is due to ads. He added that the ads made up only 9% of the content on the page, but because multiple third-parties track users through ads, this ends up being a huge drain on your data.

9. Don’t use Google

Ah, now we come to this. Using Google is so common that it’s become a verb for ‘searching on the internet’. But Google searches are also giving the company an enormous trove of user data to analyse and use for advertising. Gabriel Weinberg, the founder and CEO of privacy-focused search engine DuckDuckGo, has written a long post about the different ways in which Google tracks you, which is worth reading in its entirety.

“Basically, Google tries to track too much. It’s creepy and simply just more information than one company should have on anyone,” Weinberg noted. “For starters, just switching the search engine for all your searches goes a long way. After all, you share your most intimate questions with your search engine; at the very least, shouldn’t those be kept private? If you switch to the DuckDuckGo app and extension you will not only make your searches anonymous, but also block Google’s most widespread and invasive trackers as you navigate the web.”

Duck Duck Go’s search engine is good and fast, but since it doesn’t track you, the results are not as personalised as Google’s. This is a trade-off that you’ll have to consider, but it isn’t as apparent like some of the other examples we’ve talked about, so you should consider at least trying out Duck Duck Go for a few weeks before deciding. #MohnishAhluwaliaNotes

#News Updates #9 Simple Steps To Protect Your Privacy On The Internet

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serenityinsolitude · 6 years

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Turning your daydream into reality ;)

Thursday, during a particularly boring Pavia microbiology lecture (sorry, but pericarditis - can it really ever keep up with endocarditis :P), my mind just kept wandering. I kept daydreaming about going to see Akhil in the library and just wrapping my arms around his neck and talking to him about school and life and ahhh. So anyway, after lecture, I felt stubbornly stuck and locked into this plan of making some of this silly fantasy come true. I was obviously a tad reluctant to throw my arms around him but I of course was a little hesitant about the last part :P So, I meandered off to the library and saw Akhil sitting with an empty seat next to him on the bottom floor. I settled in between Alex and Akhil - honestly it couldn’t have been more perfect. I eventually grabbed Akhil’s attention and did my typical analysis of his amazing notes. This time he had his notes hole punched in a binder, all in order, with these fantastic drawings (congenital heart defects drawings get to me) and I literally just gasped. I raved about how honestly amazing these were and how maybe i wasn’t doing med school right and how I needed to get on his level. It was actually adorable to watch how a guy so confident and sometimes egotistical :P actually started getting a little nervous and humble. It was cute :P I realize that I never actually compliment Akhil directly - i just do it to everyone else hahaha so I’m glad I was actually nice to him for once. At one point, he asked me a question and then it just lapsed into a 15 minute study session with both of us going back and forth to each other firing questions and asking each other about random concepts on our test the next day. It was actually so fun. At one point he said we probably shouldn’t be speaking this loudly in the quietest part of the library and so we should do this together at 7. I also have to say how relaxing I find studying next to Akhil. He smells amazing hahaha and I just feel like it’s oddly comforting. So, 7 came and went, but then Akhil tapped me & asked to come with him to Riland to eat dinner with the crew. I ended up eating alongside Indy, Akhil, and Shivani. At one point Indy showed me a meme with Four Loko and Chuck E. Cheese (I honestly still don’t get it or know if I even saw it before Indy pulled it back and said, “Oh nevermind, do you even know what that is?” Pulling at my always present insecurity about not being cool enough for this group, I got immediately defensive and retorted “of course I know what that is” and probably some other rude comeback. To my complete surprise Akhil pipes up and says, “You don’t even know -- you’re talking to a girl who drinks absinthe.” WHAT. Akhil has never defended me (or anyone quite honestly in a conversation) and it felt so nice. And to his best friend. And then Indy mildly apologized and said it was all in fun, which it was but it was just nice for Akhil to step in regardless and defend me [insert sigh here]. Then Alex joined us as Indy left and we got into a hilarious conversation that started with noticing Akhil gets peeled oranges in his lunchbox. HIS MOM PEELS HIS ORANGES. I can’t. It was actually so nice because for a few seconds I kept thinking how this would be how it would be like if we were dating - my foot was up on his chair as I leaned back in my seat, we were all laughing, I saw him just watching my hysterical laughter. Ahhh. We went back to studying and at one point he tapped me literally to tell me that in HS he thought that since there was a Down disease, there had to also be an Up one HAHAHA. And then at around 9 we went to go study together in the DPR rooms and ended up staying until 1 AM! The next morning,

Today and yesterday, I know it’s silly, but I just can’t shake the feeling from my head. It feels so nice. It feels like we’re comfortable and close enough to each other that we’re in a relationship. Even though we were only together for a few minutes yesterday, it was so nice. He wanted to share his motivational talk with one of his friends about how his friend basically told him that he could use his medical degree in business. And even though I was super hesitant about it, I brought up him taking the INH for his latent TB and I know this stuff sounds stupid and irrelevant but I honestly felt like in the midst of a busy day, we found this time to catch up (and not about stupid stuff but actually fill each other in and discuss actually important topics). And I loved it. And he brought up us studying together on Monday and said we should study together today.

So today, in the middle of a set of pretty atrocious lectures (I guess they could be worse…#ASKARI), I got a text from Akhil (who I had been wanting to text but kept delaying) asking if I was free to study. We agreed to meet in the DPR rooms and from the second I saw him take his headphones off across the quad, I felt happy. Studying with him was so nice, it always is. We talked about a bunch of random stuff, I feel like there’s a lot of trust with the two of us. I was holding his phone and making fun of his group chats, which he showed me and then we both proceeded to mock. We both know the passwords to each other’s devices, which I know is a silly thing but it’s also an indicator of true comfort. I brought up how awesome it was to see him so excited about doing something a little different in the future and told him about Sunni bua’s stepson, who followed a very similar route. He was super excited by that and actually asked me for his contact information. CUTE. He also said that he wasn’t sure if that meant he wouldn’t take the USMLE. And then I just looked at him and said honestly, I get that, but you probably should if not just for the fact that how else am I going to go through all of that. So honestly just for that friendship, he should. And he smiled and said true. Honestly, sometimes I get a little worried that maybe I’m too honest, but honestly, I’m glad that I say what I think. And I like that I’m over pretending that we’re not going to last as friends or that I don’t value him. I do value him - a lot. I helped him deal with his secretary duties for SOMA.

I honestly really like the way he cares to actually teach me things and care that I actually understand it. I told him that there was this topic in pathoma, I really didn’t understand and he so sweetly drew out this whole diagram for me and actually made sure that I understood it. He did the same thing while we went over all the cardiac embryological conditions and even when as we were leaving the study room, we talked about fantasy baseball and he literally explained to me how the process goes for picking players How many times in conversation does one bring up a concept that the other person doesn’t understand so we just run past it or explain it super quickly in a way that leads to no understanding on the other side. It’s so nice, that whether academic or super random, he always makes time for me and genuinely cares that I understand it.

A random side conversation led us to talk about Spain and we both strangely realized that we both quite seriously looked at moving to Spain at some point. COINCIDENTALLY BOTH SOUTHERN SPAIN. And both wanted to travel to Cuba but now we probably can’t (#TRUMPFREAKINGSUCKS). And I know who honestly doesn’t love Spain…but really?! HE ALSO WANTED TO MOVE THERE! And I told him very generally about Jose and his olive tree farm, and me wanting to move there... I swear to God, I honestly never thought I would find someone who actually wanted to do that.

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lordsrivenkateswaraswamy · 5 years

Link

Protecting your privacy online may seem like a battle you’ve already lost, but take heart. There are steps you can take to minimize harm.

1. Use burner emails to sign up for services

2. Use a VPN

3. Change your passwords from defaults

4. It’s Fine To Use WhatsApp

5. Make sure all your software is up to date

“Then one day, one of our tech guys saw what I was doing and he gave me a real lecture about it.”

6. Use two-factor authentication

7. Turn off the GPS, limit app permissions, and opt out of tracking where possible

8. Browse in private mode, and disable trackers

9. Don’t use Google

#IFTTT #Blogger

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