#prophetic though i am shit at parties and wet with rain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

muzansfangs · 1 year

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Hello! I would like to make a request for some headcanons, if that's alright. How about exploring a scenario where Douma somehow falls ill and the reader is the one who takes care of him?

Taking care of him when he gets sick.

Starring: Douma x f!reader

Warnings: Modern au, basically fluff

Format: headcanons.

Plot: You had told your boyfriend, Douma, that it was going to rain. Despite that, he ignored your suggestion to bring an umbrella with him and went to work without one. On his way back home, he got caught in the pouring rain and, basically, he woke up the morning after with a bad cold and high fever.

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• Your boyfriend was reckless, but in a cute kind of way. The thing was he thought you tended to worry too much about him and he did not trust a lot in the meteorologists. Therefore, he grabbed his briefcase and headed to the front door of your flat without an umbrella. It was a sunny day, after all. Were you really even considering the chance of the weather to change abruptly?

• Flicking your gaze up from your laptop, you sighed in defeat and jogged towards him with the umbrella you had already prepared for him.

• “Babe, come on! Just bring it with you! I don’t want you to get down with a cold” you had tried to persuade him, clinging on his arm with a pleading look on your face. Your puppy eyes did not work, though. All you got in return was an amused chuckle and a kiss on your forehead.

• “The sun is shining so bright vampires would be pulverized in a split second, if they stepped out of their coffins! I’m not carrying this thing with me! See you later, baby”.

• With that, he was gone.

• Not even two hours later, you were texting him a cocky “I TOLD YOU SO”, while you watched the pouring rain falling on the city from the window of your living room.

• You were not surprised, when you spotted Douma soaking wet on the threshold later in the evening. His clothes were drenched, his hair dripped water and, when he took his shoes off, he grimaced at the contact of his wet socks with the floor.

• You could not help, but laugh at him. However, the side-eye he gave could be labeled as a ‘criminal offensive side-eye’ and you were quick to grab some towels and clothes for him.

• Some snippy comments here and there about how he should have listened to you instead of following his ‘questionable prophetic instinct’ fell from your lips anyway, as you helped your whiny boyfriend to warm himself up.

• He demanded your cuddles for the rest of the night, of course. It was in the middle of the night, when you were both comfortably snuggled under the blankets, that you woke up to the sound of chattering teeth. It did not take a lot for you to realize it was your boyfriend, whose body temperature was highening increasingly second by second.

• “B-Baby, I t-think I’m s-sick…” he mumbled, between shaky breathes. You sat up immediately, turning the lights on and palming his forehead to check his temperature. Well, he was literally boiling.

• Now, Douma is an affectionate and clingy person. The ill version of him is ten thousands times worse than that. He would need your assistance 24/7, complaining about the fact that he had no strength to pick you up and make love to you. Or about the fact that he could not smell the delicious meals you cooked for him.

• “I am dying! I’m on the verge of death! Call Akaza-donooo!”.

• “He would probably throw a party, if you died, duh” you replied.

• Also, let’s not forget the childish, but funny part where he refused to take his medicines.

• “I know it tastes bad but, if you don’t drink it, you are not going to get better” you scolded him, holding the glass with the medicinal substance in it. He pouted, holding the blankets over his nose and shaking his head vigorously.

• “It tastes like shit! Get that thing away from me! You are cruel, babe!” he bewailed, tossing and turning on the bed as if you wanted him to drink up poison. However, after years of being his girlfriend, you knew exactly how to convince him to drink his medicine.

• “If you don’t drink it right now and quit this buffoonery , forget about my kisses!” you quipped, knitting your eyebrows together. It worked instantly. He downed his medicine as if it was a shot of vodka.

• On the first days, when he still struggled to get up and do some basic things, you did not hesitate to help him out. Out of everything you did for him, he loved it when you helped him to comb his soft, long silvery hair. It felt intimate and relaxing.

• When you brought him a cup of hot tea and some biscuits, he stared at you with such loving eyes you almost melted on the spot. As he took the first sip of it, you smiled and kissed the top of his head, before turning around to let him get some rest. However, you had to halt as he tugged at your hand and forced you to stop. When you turned around, he softly smiled at you “I love you so much, baby. Thank you for taking care of me”.

• You chuckled and ruffled his hair softly “I love you too, baby”.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hi there! Thank you for the request! This is my first head-canon post and I don’t know how to feel about it. I hope you’ve enjoyed the reading, though. Since demons cannot actually get sick, especially upper ranks, I thought a Modern Au would have fitted this scenario better! I am not following a specific order for the requests, just picking up the most inspiring ones first. Keep in mind that, if I want to decline a request, I’ll make a post about it. So, consider all the ones I have got accepted!❤️

x o x o

#douma #douma x reader #douma x y/n #douma x you #doma x reader #upper moons #upper moon two #demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic #demon slayer au

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alanfromrochester · 7 years

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Puns masterpost

-Mine- I like Cheddar, but I'm neutral on Swiss. I was up reading atheist literature at an ungodly hour. I don't want to go to the agricultural supply store in the seedy part of town. I was reading a book on anti-gravity and couldn't put it down. A man was arrested for theft when he was caught rifling through a pile of guns with grooved barrels. It's hard to save money on postage stamps, because you have to pay sticker price. Fixing flats is tiring. The high pH of lye is basically what drain cleaner is. Marriage is the decision of a wife time. A violent wine snob is a terroirist. I wanted to write a book about bad excuses, but I figured no one would buy it. A man used a handgun to extort money from people going to the bathroom - it was a piss toll. A sergeant being demoted is corporal punishment. Fashionistas are clothes-minded. Mysterious ticking noises are da bomb. Terrorism is da bomb. Avoiding panhandlers is hobophobic. Gifts that come out of nowhere are from the aether bunny. Tom joined the Army and ended up working on the powerplants of large armored vehicles. He's Thomas the tank engine man. An anticapitalist Japanese spirit is a commie kami. A gay person living on the streets is hobosexual. Gay friends are homiesexuals. Don't smoke weed in a dwelling with transparent walls - people who live in glass houses shouldn't get stoned. People objecting to a particular war are caught between Iraq and a hard place. The military can cost an arm and a leg. A banana bought with British welfare money is Dole on the dole. The staff at a Chinese restaurant are cowokers. This movie is rated Arr for violence at sea.

-Inspired By- Communism is a sickle answer to a complex problem. [Pig With The Face Of A Boy, Complete History Of The Soviet Union, Arranged To The Melody Of Tetris] Using ape disguises for a hit and run raid is gorilla warfare. [K.A. Applegate, Animorphs] Someone crashed into a tree, but he was oaky. [Lynyrd Skynyrd, That Smell]

-From others- I relish these food jokes... Every time you make a typo, the errorists win. It's hard to be cheesy when everyone around you is laughtose intolerant. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. Dangerous mining work induces digger mortis. RIP, pot of boiling water - you will be mist. Tectonic plates are perfect for serving a continental breakfast. Thinking otherwise seems faulty. Atheism is not-for-prophet. Dropping a handgun into avocado dip makes glockamole. A cigar shaped like a dinosaur is a bluntosaurus. Leather armor is good for sneaking around because it's made of hide. Obama and Biden going out to dinner is a government mandate. A flooded convent is nunderwater. If you stand in pouring grain, you're going to get wheat. I broke up with my gym. We were just not working out. If I give a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, I make interest on my interest. The Illuminatea want to bring about a brew world order. 'beefstew' is not a stroganoff password. People with pictures in lockets are independant. If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian. Last night on Dancing With The Tsars, Peter and Catherine were great, but Ivan was terrible. My friend really changed since she became a vegetarian. It's like I've never seen herbivore. A pregnancy scare is a near life experience. There's a special place in the heart for deoxygenated blood. Someone staying in the closet is keeping a straight face. A frog's car broke down and it got toad away. If you pour root beer into a square cup, you'll get beer. If you know what you're doing in 5 years, you have 2020 vision. Gathering animals and inflating the count is rounding up. Tears are glumdrops. A good hot liquid meal is souper. People sometimes get divorced because of a stalemate. Lab accidents are sometimes caused by tripping on acid. A guacamole is equal to 6.0221415×10^23 guacas - that's Avocado's number. Spilling spices means you have too much thyme on your hands. Being welcomed by spices is season's greetings. Being unable to get manure means you can't buy shit. Indiana Jones is fedora the explorer. Minions are a despicable meme. Ingredients should be called recipieces. Why was the accountant a pessimist? Because he knew it was an accrual world. Some aquatic mammals escaped the zoo. It was otter chaos. I contemplated my navel and invented fuzzy logic. I bought a lot of tubers at a discount supermarket - what am I going to do with Aldi's potatoes? LEGO Nexo Knights includes the characters Clay Moorington, Macy, Axl and Lavaria, wizard's assistant A. Prentiss, and some names that are even more obvious. If a Tesla gets stolen, it becomes an Edison. For awhile, Houdini used trap doors in every act - it was a stage he was going through. Jokes about communism aren't funny [unless you share them, because they're classless, in practice] Have a souper birthday - you're one in a bouillon! Vietnam vets are not fonda Jane. Crime dramas are arresting television. Wearing cowboy clothes is ranch dressing. Removing an angel from a fountain creates a sans seraph font. Seven ate nine because you're supposed to have three squared meals a day. Scientists have almost completed building a sex robot but they’re still working out its kinks. Balance between friends and women is homie-hoe-stasis. The tenth Fast and Furious movie should be called Fast 10: Your Seatbelts. Fed Sex, for when you absolutely need it overnight. [I still remember that novelty T-shirt I saw in high school]

-Songs- Weird Al's Party at the Leper Colony is so full of puns they're falling off. The Kip Addotta song Wet Dream is a wave of fishy puns.

"I had a ball when I conquered France and Belgium, though it took a lot of Gaul." "You say the peasants are revolting? Well hey I knew that." - MC Lars, It's A Latin Thing [the song concept is a pun on Latin meaning Hispanic or the Roman language]

-Collaboration- Never apollogize for your bad puns about greek gods. - http://raganiazumi.tumblr.com/post/113977297966/ Even if people get in your hera about it. - me

Why are glue sticks not called stick sticks? - http://warriorsdebt.tumblr.com/post/120794813885/why-are-glue-sticks-not-called-stick-sticks Carol: Hard to say. Me: That's rather dry humor.

If Trump becomes president, there will be hell toupee. (Carol: I'll wig out.)

(seen online) I wish Medusa would stop objectifying people. (Carol: I don't take that for granite.)

-Sexual- A woman tried to get a divorce because of her husband's impotence, but that didn't stand up in court. A man was caught masturbating and called it a stroke of bad luck. People who obsess about sex are thinking inside the box. A gay king is a royal pain in the ass. A man had a fight with his erection and beat it single-handedly. Someone new to giving blowjobs is in over someone else's head. Being happy about anal sex is celebrating a weak end.

-Sexual from others- Election and erection both mean a dick rising to power. I'm pro-bush, but not the George W kind. Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse, but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom. A Wednesday when it's not raining is dry hump day.

#puns

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