#reporting live

[crtter]

I wish I had any interesting details I could tell about the time I was right behind a robber as he was robbing a bank and he didn’t notice me but that was about it, really.

#Reporting live

[iyamifucker]

I inhabit a very interesting limbo between “I can fix him” and “I’d be evil alongside him” that I dub “As long as he’s not a shithead towards me I don’t really care much what he gets up to in his own spare time”.

#Reporting live

[green-grey-n-glitched]

will you answer if I ask your top five Jims -RJ

....

1. Jim

2. Jim

3. Jim

4. Jim

5. Jim

Is it racist (jimist?) if I say yall all look the same?

-🗡

#playing with the mask #(ooc: i dont think i have a tag for jims yet so gimme a sec😭) #edit: i do have a jim tag lmao #reporting live

[theirprofoundbond]

Tom: Did you finish your scene? :D

Me: No… I wrote a sentence. And half of another sentence. And then there was this other sentence where I've been waffling about whether or not to flip the first part with the second part, so I tried it out, and then I was like, “Yes.” And then I was like, “...No.” But then I changed it back to the new version. And then I changed it back again to what it was at first.

Tom: *literally screaming into a pillow*

#reporting live #this just happened #and when I say he was literally screaming into a pillow I do mean literally #🙂 #Anyway thanks everyone for your patience because some days this is just how writing goes! #writing #rachaelly says stuff

[yugiohz]

im sorry to those anons but jigokuraku is the most bullshit male fantasy shonen thing ive read/watched in recent years...... perfect malewife???? hes 16

#REPORTING LIVE #djnekdkxmdmdnndkwjdj!!!!!! #asks

[crtter]

Every time I hear people talk about things they’ve seen online that altered their brain chemistry forever I get a little bit embarrassed because nothing has altered my brain more than two parody redubs I watched in like, 2008. Like, do you remember when people would take an infomercial or a scene of a movie or something and record themselves saying a bunch of silly stuff over it? That’s what I’m talking about.

One was called what would more or less translate to “Penises of the Caribbean” and it was a redub of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie trailers, with the plot being all that all of characters were competing over who had the biggest dick of the seven seas. The other one was called “SpongeBob Opens a Whorehouse” and was a redub of SpongeBob, more specifically that scene where they’re writing their letters to Santa from the Christmas special episode, changed around to be about the characters discussing how to turn the Krusty Crab into a whorehouse.

Both videos are INCREDIBLY juvenile. Both aren’t that funny in retrospect either. And both have changed the way I speak forever, and I mean forever.

#Reporting live

[crtter]

Other internet stuff that have been permanently etched in my brain even if they’re not the funniest things I’ve seen online BY FAR are this tweet that goes something like “when you’re dehydrated and you remember where you left your water bottle” with a picture of a man drinking water from a bottle looking tired and kind of like he had just been crying. Another one is that Dolan Duck comic where he walks into an Apple Store, walks out and goes “Everything was expensive”.

Every time I go get a water bottle from the fridge or decide against buying something after looking at the price they flash into my mind like archangel Michael telling Joan of Arc she had to go fight the English.

#Reporting live

[crtter]

I’m not gonna say that “all LGBT+ representation is good representation” because that’s obviously not the case, especially today when there’s finally enough of it in media for a person to be able to look at something and say “hey the way they wrote this character sucks ass, actually” but I’d be lying if I said that, as much as I would think it was pretty shit if the only gay characters in a show nowadays was exclusively used for comedy relief, seeing gay and gender nonconforming characters AT ALL didn’t have a more positive overall impact on little baby me when I was growing up during the dark ages of dial-up internet if than if I had only seen straight, gender conforming characters.

I don’t know, I just feel like I would have had a much bigger complex about “being a girl” and feeling like I was going through some sort of torture invented by the ancient Romans every time I was told to wear a dress or -god forbid- a training bra if I didn’t see a parody musical duo in which two men dressed head to toe in pink, called themselves by women’s names and sung about hot guys as guests on silly variety shows every time I turned on my TV on Sundays.

#Reporting live

[crtter]

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

#Reporting live

[crtter]

Huh! I believe I’ve accidentally found out what the whole deal with this new wave of porn bots is.

#reporting live

[crtter]

My dad told me a Queen Elizabeth x 9/11 combo joke but idk if it works in English

#reporting live

[crtter]

One thing about me is that I’m a guy who loves looking at pictures and images.

#reporting live

[crtter]

Almost blocked an actual person who followed me because they had the same First Name + Last Name + Three Random Numbers username formula those recent pornbots abide by. I went as far as going on their blog to block them, then I realized bots don’t usually reblog Captain America fanfic.

#reporting live

[crtter]

Does anyone remember the original trollface comic?

EDIT: Apparently the comic strip I added to this post isn’t the very first trollface comic, it’s the first time the trollface was edited into a different comic, which is to mean it’s the second! It’s definitely the funnier one of the two in my opinion, heh.

#reporting live

[crtter]

Neopets is so funny because it was created in 1999, it doesn’t allow users to change their usernames (apparently the code is entirely too ancient for that) and it’s genuinely a very pleasant game with tons of features beyond being just a simple virtual pet raising game that, due to being fully HTML based, will run pretty effortlessly basically anywhere with an internet connection and therefore has people that have been playing it for literal decades so you get active users with usernames that are a beautiful time capsule from the early 00s like noobslayer1337 and nsync_rox_my_sox and they’re both 35 and married with children.

#Reporting live #Neopets

[crtter]

WHAT DID THEY DO TO THE LITTLE GUY

#reporting live