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paellaplease · 4 years

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Balter: BOTW Robbie x Reader

15. balter - to dance gracelessly, but with enjoyment

(Robbie x Reader)

Part I of ?

It’s day one of being assigned as an assistant to the Chief of Guardian Research, and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“This is a great honour,” your research supervisor—ex-supervisor, said. They smiled at you tearily like a proud parent, fixing the collar of your shirt and patting away the non-existent dirt on your shoulders. Both of you had decided together on an outfit that was functional but boringly business casual, something that screamed ‘This job is serious and I too am seriously serious.’

“Teach,” you say, bending down to look the elderly scholar in the eye. They’ve been frantic the entire morning, packing and repacking your things, double checking your itinerary and quizzing you on random topics for the past five hours (“What is the integral of the absolute sin, x, over the interval 0 to two pi?” “Four, and how is this relevant?”) You try to smile in a way that is both calming and trustworthy. “I’m going to be alright. We’ve gone over all the possibilities together yesterday, everything from A to Z remember?”

Grabbing their cane, they picked up your suitcase, wagging their finger when you reached to take it from their smaller, wrinkly hands. “Yes, yes. But one can never be too careful.” Walking to the exit of the academy, both of you pushed open the double doors, a field of wildflowers greeting you on the other side.

A bright blue sky hung above, cloudless and empty. Your horse was grazing not too far away, ears pricking up at the sound of your approach. Before planting your foot into the stirrup, your supervisor called out your name, prompting you to turn around. Pulling their coat close to them self, they wrapped their short arms around you, enveloping you in a rare hug. “Just, keep your wits about you.”

“Why is that?”

“Doctor Robbie is a little eccentric.”

“Nothing I can’t handle, Teach.” You winked, squeezing them a little tighter. “I’ve worked with you after all.” The air shifts when you spot a cane spinning in the air, the hardwood eventually smacking painfully into your side and making you yelp.

“Stupid child,” the centenarian grins. “I wish you luck and a prosperous future.”

With the Royal Highway in your sights, your thoughts were filled with a whirlwind of excitement at the prospect of working with such a bright mind. Focusing your thesis on the newly excavated Guardian’s design and its sophisticated targeting system had spiraled into a series of meetings with the King’s scientific panel and eventually a position at a lab beyond the imaginations of both you and your Sheikah supervisor.

An hour had sped by and before you knew it, the imposing entrance to the Royal Ancient Tech Lab loomed over you like a giant’s shadow. The secure metal doors were decorated with a pattern of tumultuous swirls and waves, stretching from the edges and across the vast surface like creeping vines on a stone wall. Raising your hand to knock, you were surprised to hear the unmistakable boom of a small explosion on the other side.

Pulling down the handle, the door opened with little resistance, a black cloud of smoke filling your nostrils and making you splutter. “Anyone there?” You called out. Leaving your suitcase at the entrance, you cautiously stepped into the fray, dress shoes squeaking against the floor. Looking around, the first thing you spot are three long stone tables littered with gears and springs of various sizes. The next is the smoking carcass of half a Guardian in the corner.

You stared at the ancient machine, unable to compute.

“Over here!”

Whipping around, your eyes scanned the room.

“Ah, behind the table.” The voice said sheepishly.

Rushing towards it, you quickly vaulted over to the other side, finding a young man on the floor. You blinked, silent as he rubbed his head and groaned, readjusting the metal goggles that sat heavy above his eyes. Taking in his appearance was...overwhelming. He looked, well, rather odd for starters.

His coiffed white hair was combed back and above his forehead in a style you’ve never seen before, fanning out like a peacock’s feathers. It possessed a volume that was miraculously intact despite the blast, making you wonder if he employed some sort of chemical to keep it that way.

The Sheikah uniform that he wore was cream in colour and soot stained from the explosion earlier. You noticed that he’d made a few minor adjustments, rolling his shirt sleeves above the elbows and foregoing the usual navy inner layer completely, giving him a ridiculous V-neck that seemed to go on and on...and oh Goddesses you were staring now. How long have you been staring at him for?

Quick, your brain screamed. Say something, maybe he hasn’t noticed.

You blurted out the first thing in your mind: (well, second. The first was ‘is your hair held up by witchcraft?’ and that probably wouldn’t roll too well.) “Are you okay?”

Reaching out, you offered him a hand up, shocked when he grasped it with no hesitation. His grip was strong but not uncomfortable, and with your help he managed to stand with little trouble.

The grin that he gave in reply was infectious. “I am now, thanks to you.” He had a nice smile. In fact, now that you think about it, his voice was rather nice too. Smooth and—not the time to do this brain!

Releasing your hand, he took a step back, surveying the damage and mess around him. He cleared his throat. “Hm, apologies for the...everything that you see around you right now. I wanted to test a hypothesis regarding the activation of the Guardian’s defense mechanism even whilst inert.” Picking up a fallen gear, he polished it with the edge of his charred shirt and placed it on the table. “Evidently, I got my answer,” he laughed. “So in a way the experiment was a success.”

Oh, he’s a scientist here, you gathered. Great, maybe he could help you find your boss. “Actually, I was wondering if you knew where one of the Directors of this lab was? His name is Doctor Robbie. I’m the new research assistant.” You felt a shock of warmth threatening to creep up your neck, feeling silly at needing to ask a colleague for assistance this early in the day.

His smile widened, your blush rising to your face like mercury in a thermometer. “Know where he is? Why, of course I do.” In the blink of an eye, he stuck his hand in the air, striking a pose that was so charming and silly that you wondered if you’d inhaled too much toxic smoke earlier and was currently hallucinating on the fumes.

“You’re in luck,” he announced. “For the ‘Doctor Robbie’ you’re looking for is none other than I.”

Oh. It was no use, your embarrassment was reaching an all time high and at this point the smartest option was to stop fighting and let the blush takeover and run its course. Trying and failing to hide your shock, you don’t notice the Doctor’s pose wilt at the lack of your response.

Take a deep breath and do it again, your supervisor— ex-supervisor’s voice echoed like an angry phantom that refused to leave your head. Slowly recovering, you bowed low, the seventy degree angle pulling the muscles in your back. “Forgive me, I didn’t know.” You say your name quickly and in one breath. “Pleased to meet you.”

Straightening up, you were relieved at the lack of anger or annoyance in his face. Even with the goggles, it was easy to tell that the Doctor’s expression was relaxed, and if anything, just a tad worried. “The pleasure is all mine. You have nothing to be sorry for, and please, there’s no need to be so formal.”

“Got it. If you show me where the written reports are kept, I can start organising the data as soon as possible.”

“Hmm? Oh, we can worry about that later.” Folding his arms across his chest, Doctor Robbie gracefully spun on his heels, walking towards the Guardian head that tried to set him on fire only minutes ago. “What I need you to do is to grab a crowbar from the table and some gloves.”

“How come?”

Fearlessly knocking on the ancient machine’s temple, he moved to face you, that enigmatic smile back on his face as the gears on his goggles began to turn. “We’re going to see what makes this beauty tick.”

#botw #robbie x reader #Hyrule Warriors Age of Calamity #hwaoc #will update tags with something witty later im going to sleep #to be continued hehe #paella writes #botw robbie

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everythingbychoice · 4 years

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It take a full hour for “Bombshell” to resemble an actual movie.

Until that point, it’s a screeching op-ed against all things Fox News, real and imagined.

The “real” part is the sexual harassment Fox News founder Roger Ailes inflicted on female employees. The imagined? Well, that’s a laundry list of far-left talking points against the network, conservatives and a certain Commander in Chief.

Once the film clears its throat, and that literally takes 60 minutes, “Bombshell” morphs into a competent, often compelling tale of a harasser’s insidious web.

Charlize Theron’s uncanny impression of former Fox News superstar Megyn Kelly kicks off “Bombshell.” She’s shattering the fourth wall, serving as both Fox News tour guide and director Jay Roach’s mouth piece.

Remember, Roach directed previous hard-left films like “Game Change” and “Recount.”

So it’s Megyn who tells us Ailes (John Lithgow) is the reason both Ronald Reagan and George Bush the elder became president. He’s that powerful, we’re led to assume.

Already we’re in “Vice” land, that cinematic space where progressive fever dreams take hold.

We soon meet two other key women in Ailes’ orbit. Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman in distracting makeup) wants to tell real stories, but all Ailes cares about is gorgeous women, tight skirts and gams.

Why, it’s as if Katie Couric and Mary Hart never existed and female anchors wore Burkas for the nightly news.

FAST FACT: “Bombshell” earned four SAG Awards nominations, including Best Ensemble.

Margot Robbie plays another potential victim, a composite character evoking the lesser known women Ailes defiled. Kayla is a self-described Christian influencer, but within seconds she’s sleeping with a fellow female employee. Kayla’s Christian characteristics are ignored from that point on.

Oh.

“Bombshell” simultaneously hits another Fox News lech, disgraced host Bill O’Reilly. It’s not enough for the movie to out his alleged activity, though. Enter Kate McKinnon, playing a closeted liberal lesbian producer to attack O’Reilly’s viewers.

“That’s why crazies love him,” she explains of his appeal. That quip doesn’t advance the story. It’s virtue signaling to the film’s hard-left demographic (and Oscar voters, perhaps).

None of this is storytelling, and it sure as heck isn’t compelling. It’s propaganda trotted out for our inspection. We can’t care about the characters or their plight because the screenplay doesn’t, either.

pic.twitter.com/YXDXWIR61y

— Bombshell (@bombshellmovie) December 8, 2019

A funny thing happens just when you think every progressive attack line has been exhausted. “Bombshell” abandons the finger wagging and gets to the point. Ailes created an empire, one that both bulldozed the competition and allowed him to paw any comely female within reach.

That leaves his employees split in dramatic fashion. Some stick to “Team Roger,” down to T-shirts emblazoned with that very slogan. Others keep their heads down, hoping to retain their jobs at all costs.

The bravest of them all, like Gretchen, finally speak out … but at what cost?

And then there’s Megyn, who knows too much about Ailes’ appetites but remembers the many kindnesses he bestowed on her. The film recalls how Ailes paid the medical bills for various employees and boosted careers with little to gain but ratings.

It’s a shame Lithgow isn’t given more time to show Ailes the charmer and visionary. That context could help explain why some otherwise good souls rushed to his defense.

“Bombshell’s” screenplay, by “The Big Short’s” Charles Randolph, still clings to hokey sentiment even during the superior second half.

“I have to be an anchor first, and then a woman,” Megyn explains.

There’s one other moment when “Bombshell” reveals what might have been. Robbie’s Kayla meets Ailes for the first time, alone, in his inner sanctum. They engage in small talk before Ailes gets down to “business.”

He asks her to “spin” around to better ogle her curves. Then, the overt sexual harassment begins. There’s no music, no fancy camera tricks or narration. Robbie’s face captures the flood of emotions women just like her felt for decades when put in that awful situation.

It’s likely someone is enduring a similar treatment right this moment, too.

Along the way, “Bombshell” awkwardly shoehorns faux celebrity cameos with dramatically different results. A blink and you miss him Geraldo Rivera (Tony Plana) adds nothing to anything. Current Fox News host Jeanine Pirro, played by the underrated Alanna Ubach, embodies the Fox News women who refused to even consider Ailes’ guilt.

The list of “Bombshell” targets doesn’t stop at Ailes. The film repeatedly paints Fox News as a cancer on popular culture. One unnecessary moment finds Gretchen being dressed down in a supermarket.

“You guys at Fox News are doing terrible things to our country,” the stranger says to her.

The line, like many others in the film, has no real narrative purpose. It’s similar to how the film repeatedly reminds us Megyn once said Santa Claus was white.

It’s amazing she wasn’t hauled off to Leavenworth right then and there.

RELATED: 7 Tough Questions ‘Bombshell’ Cast Should Answer

We’re also told you can’t be an openly gay Fox News employee because, it’s assumed, conservatives hate gay people. McKinnon’s character hides a picture of her with a longtime female friend just in case.

Roach weaponizes the snapshot in a film that also acknowledges Ailes knew network superstar Shepard Smith was gay but didn’t care.

“Bombshell” repeatedly savages Donald Trump, of course, fixing at first on his gross attack on Megyn. Consider this cartoonish moment when Megyn tells her colleagues the mogul has a problem with women. She notices their quizzical looks, so she hauls out a file as thick as an oak tree labeled “Trump’s Women” to back up her claim.

That connects “Bombshell” directly to Roach’s “Game Change” and its over the top theatrics.

To re-create the Fox News offices in painstaking detail, #BombshellMovie‘s production designer used any photos he could find online, including selfies from employees and foot-fetish pics where you can see the office surroundings in the background

— New York Magazine (@NYMag)

December 10, 2019

We also see a highly edited montage of “misogynistic” “Fox and Friends” clips, slapped together so hastily it would make Michael Moore blush.

Plus, the film suggests Team Trump poisoned Megyn’s Kelly coffee after her tough debate questions were leaked to him.

Really.

Most of the film’s attacks, though, center on Ailes. And it’s hardly reserved to his sexual appetites. His signature creation is under fire as well.

“Is it any wonder [Ailes] created a nostalgia for a lost America?” Megyn says about Fox News. That’s not her voice, of course. That’s Hollywood, USA, a city that loathes the fact that one network speaks up for half the country.

Again, the line doesn’t advance the story or establish character.

RELATED: Here’s What the Stars of ‘Bombshell’ Really Think of Conservatives

Ailes’ victims deserve to have their stories told. Theron, Robbie and Kidman deliver powerful performances, at least when the screenplay gives them the chance to evoke real emotions.

One could defend “Bombshell’s” partisan thuggery by saying Fox News’ conservatism fueled Ailes’ crimes. So how does that explain Matt Lauer? Charlie Rose? Les Moonves?

And let’s not forget Harvey Weinstein.

Sexual harassment knows no ideology. That’s a lesson the minds behind “Bombshell” should have taken far more seriously.

HiT or Miss: The women at Fox News who endured sexual harassment deserve better than a movie that puts ideology first like “Bombshell.”

The post ‘Bombshell’ Shreds Ailes, Trump and Storytelling 101 appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

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