#rock afire transcription
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Showbiz Pizza Country Night (1983), Segment 1: "Monkeyman Chewing Tobacco Skit/Redneck Friend" Transcript
Note: And here begins Country Night, starting with the first segment, featuring Dook and Beach Bear's cover of Redneck Friend. They're still a work in progress, but as they're done, links to the other segments of this show will be posted at the bottom of the script!
If you have any corrections, please let me know, and I'll fix it ASAP!
COUNTRY NIGHT 1983
SEGMENT ONE: MONKEYMAN CHEWING TOBACCO SKIT/REDNECK FRIEND
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
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FATZ: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and a special round-up welcome to all you little bitty cowgirls and cowpokes. This here is the first installment of Country Music Night here at Showbiz Pizza Place and we’re gonna try and play for y’all a whole mess of great country songs. Just perfect after a long day of roping and riding the range. But before we go any further, I’d like to tell y’all something about something that’s very something…
(Everyone laughs.)
FATZ (Cont.): … something that’s very near and dear to my heart: Monkeyman Chewing Tobacco. That’s right. Monkeyman Chewing Tobacco. Just put a pound or two between the cheek and gum and that’s all it takes. That’s right, that’s all it takes, so after a long day of roping-
MITZI: Oh, Fatz, you don’t chew tobacco.
FATZ: What’chu talking about? I’ve been chewing tobacco for a long time, little honey.
BEACH BEAR: Yeah. ‘Course he has, ‘course he has.
MITZI: Come on, Fatz, I’ve never seen you chew tobacco.
FATZ: Just because the light’s off don’t mean nobody’s not home.
MITZI: Huh?
FATZ: What I mean is, just because you hadn’t seen me, don’t mean I don’t do it.
MITZI: I don’t care what you say, Fatz, I know you don’t chew tobacco.
DOOK: That’s right, Fatz. What’chu up to?
FATZ: Nothing, Dook, why?
MITZI: Fatz, come on, spit it out.
FATZ: What? The tobacco?
(He, DOOK, and BEACH BEAR laugh.)
MITZI: Fatz!
FATZ: Well. Okay. If you must know, I was approached by these nice-looking city boys in some- these fancy little suits, and they told me that all I have to do is to tell everybody about this tobacco and they’d give me a whole lot of money. So, I put two and two together and I figured that it was the least I could do to help them out of a jam and all and, uh, you know, I-
MITZI: Oh, I see. Have you ever tried the stuff?
FATZ: Well, not- not exactly.
MITZI: Don’t you think that’s, well, a little dishonest?
FATZ: Yeah, I think that’s “well, a little dishonest”. But, uh. Well. I guess I should’ve known better to- to- to tell a story in front of all these folks. I really feel bad about it. I tell you what, I really didn’t try it. Why don’t you try some and then you can tell me what it’s like, Mitzi?
MITZI: Oh, gross!
FATZ: Come on, just a pound or two between the cheek and gum.
MITZI: Oh, grody!
FATZ: You can use my spittoon.
(The guys laugh.)
MITZI: Oh, sick!
FATZ: Well. You don’t want to?
BEACH BEAR: Hey, you guys are really freaking out.
FATZ: What?
BEACH BEAR: I mean, what’re you talking about? Why don’t we play?
DOOK: Yeah, that’s right. Beach Bear’s right, man, we need to get on with the show.
FATZ: Okay, I just wanted everybody to understand that I was trying to set the proper mood here. I’m teasing you, Mitzi. Now, now, business is business, so we might as well get down to the business of showbusiness. Ain’t that our business?
MITZI, DOOK, & BEACH BEAR: Yeah.
FATZ: Okay, well, now hit it, Beach!
[SONG: REDNECK FRIEND (ORIGINALLY BY JACKSON BROWNE)]
BEACH BEAR:
OH, PRETTY LITTLE ONE
HOW HAS IT ALL BEGUN
THEY’RE TEACHING YOU HOW TO WALK
BUT YOU’RE ALREADY ON THE RUN
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
LITTLE ONE
WHAT’CHA GONNA DO
LITTLE ONE
HONEY, IT’S ALL UP TO YOU
BEACH BEAR:
NOW, YOUR DADDY’S IN THE DEN
SHOOTING UP THE EVENING NEWS
AND YOUR MAMA’S WITH A FRIEND
LATELY, SHE’S BEEN SO CONFUSED
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
LITTLE ONE
COME ON AND TAKE MY HAND
BEACH BEAR:
WELL, I MAY NOT HAVE THE ANSWER
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
BUT I BELIEVE I GOT A PLAN
HONEY, YOU SHAKE
BEACH BEAR:
AND I’LL RATTLE
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
AND WE’LL ROLL ON DOWN THE LINE
BEACH BEAR:
SEE IF WE CAN’T GET IN TOUCH
WITH A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE
LET ME CLUE YOU IN, IT AIN’T LIKE HIM
TO ARGUE OR PRETEND
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY REDNECK FRIEND
BEACH BEAR:
WELL, HE’S GOT A LITTLE LIST OF ALL THOSE THINGS
OF WHICH HE DON’T APPROVE
AND HE’S GOTTA KEEP HIS EYES ON YOU
‘CAUSE YOU MIGHT MAKE YOUR MOVE
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
OH, LITTLE ONE
I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD
LITTLE ONE
I THINK THE DAMAGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD
HONEY, YOU SHAKE
BEACH BEAR:
AND I’LL RATTLE
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
AND WE’LL ROLL ON DOWN THE LINE
BEACH BEAR:
GONNA SEE IF WE CAN’T GET IN TOUCH
WITH A VERY CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE
WELL, HE’S A MISSING LINK, THE KITCHEN SINK
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
ELEVEN ON A SCALE TO TEN
HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY REDNECK FRIEND
BEACH BEAR: Alright, go poke some cows.
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
HONEY, YOU SHAKE
BEACH BEAR:
AND I’LL RATTLE
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
AND WE’LL ROLL ON DOWN THE LINE
I’M GONNA TRY AND SWING YOU UP INTO THE SADDLE
BUT I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’LL FIND
BEACH BEAR:
OH, DON’T JUST STAND THERE LOOKING
LIKE THIS DREAM WILL NEVER END
BEACH BEAR & DOOK:
HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY REDNECK FRIEND
HEY, HONEY, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY REDNECK FRIEND
BEACH BEAR: Come on, redneck! Why don’t you blow this thing down some? I wanna do some two-stepping.
END.
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Check out the rest of Country Night!:
Country Bird Songs Skit/Country Medley
Jackson Intro/Jackson
You Never Even Call Me By My Name
TNTDODD Intro Skit/The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Fatz for President (Presidential Skit)/Guitarzan
Desperado
Stranded in the Jungle
Swingin' Intro Skit/Swingin'
Sixteen Tons Intro Skit/Sixteen Tons
Elvira (Outtake)
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#country night#rock afire explosion country night#fatz geronimo#mitzi mozzarella#beach bear#dook larue
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THERE'S A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK IN THE HALLWAY.
AND A BUMP-BUMP-BUMP IN THE DARK.
YOU FEEL THE SHAKE-SHAKE-SHAKE OF YOUR BODY.
AND THE THUMP-THUMP-THUMP OF YOUR HEART.
Why, you may ask, are we quoting the lyrics to the Rockstar Bootacular liveshow? Because it just so happens to be time for CHUCKTOBER 2023!!!! Once again coordinated by @avengerchuck, and illustrated by the lovely and talented @knavewoods! Now, if you'll allow me to give you all a refresher on the House Rules...
1. Feel free to skip days, do them out of order, put your own spin on the prompts, whatever! As long as you’re having fun!
2. Any and all art is accepted with open arms. Digital, traditional, crafts, costumes, you name it!
3. This baby is open to all aspects of the animatronic community. CEC enthusiast? Rock-Afire purist? Spooky Bear Game Connoisseur? We’d love to have you!
4. Listen closely, because this one is real important…please either tag this blog in your entries, or use the hashtag “#Chucktober 2023″ so we can showcase your lovely work!
As usual, the inbox is wide open for any questions, comments, or concerns you may possess. Heheh…get it? Possess? But enough out of me. Happy Haunting!
#cec#chuck e cheese#showbiz pizza#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza place#animatronics#chucktober 2023#I will reblog this with a text transcript of the list!!! Give me one moment if you would rather reblog that version. It will also be pinned
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New Showbiz Pizza Blog!
Hello, all! I've made a blog specifically for my Rock-afire Explosion ramblings. You can find me at @comeforthepizza. I'm currently working on posting my transcriptions for Magic Night but hope to have more for that blog here soon. :)
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rock-afire explosion -charic genders! part 2 of 2
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
beachbearcharic
when your gender is connected to beach bear from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to him, or that he is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are light yellow, tan, white, light blue, and light purple. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
looneybirdcharic
when your gender is connected to looney bird from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to them, or that they are your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are dark purple, brown, white, orange, and green. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
dewolfecharic
when your gender is connected to rolfe dewolfe from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to him, or that he is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are grey, tan, white, red, and dark grey. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
schmerlecharic
when your gender is connected to earl schmerle from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to him, or that he is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are blue, yellow, white, orange, and red. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
all flag colors are colors present on the characters!
[DNI transcript: anti-anti/proship, transmed/truscum/terf/gender crit, anti mogai, ‘anti endo’, exclusionist or supporter do not interact]
(i cannot prevent anyone from using my terms, but i’d prefer if people on this list did not directly interact with my blog or my posts. thank you for respecting my boundaries!)
#mogai#mogai coining#ezgender#xenogender#mogai gender#xenogender coining#xenogender friendly#xenogender flag#mogai flag#gender#fictigender#charic#mogai pride
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 8: "Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute" Transcript
NOTE: THIS TRANSCRIPT IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION! I found a live performance that shows some of the line distribution in the medley was wrong in my original post. I don’t have the chance to fix it right now, but I’ll do it as soon as I can!
Note: Here's the eighth and final segment of Magic Night! This one includes the well-known Michael Jackson Intro skit, along with the first of the Rock-afire Explosion's Michael Jackson medleys. If you want to check out the rest of the Magic Night transcripts, you can find links to them all at the bottom of the script, as well as footnotes.
As always, if you find any errors, please let me know and I'll fix it as soon as possible!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT EIGHT: MICHAEL JACKSON INTRO/MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob Brockali, Looney Bird, Rolfe DeWolfe, and Earl Schmerle
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
----------
BILLY BOB: Well, howdy, everybody. I’m Billy Bob, and we’re back with another big show. But before we get on with it, I wanted to tell y’all something really interesting! It interests me, anyway. The other night, I was over at Disney World, I was vacationing, you know, had a couple days off and I was at Disney, and I was at the Country Bear Jamboree, and I was up there on stage gigging and jamming and playing with all them other bears and lo and behold, who was in the audience but Michael Jackson of all people!
MITZI: Wait a minute, wait a minute!
BILLY BOB: Yeah! And we got him up on stage-
MITZI: You saw Michael Jackson?
BILLY BOB: - and we were dancing and singing all his songs and having a good ol' time, right there at Disney World! He must have been va-
MITZI: You saw Michael Jackson!?
BILLY BOB: Yeah! And we did Billie Jean-
MITZI: You mean the Michael Jackson!?
BILLY BOB: The Michael Jackson! It was so great, and he did some songs from his album Thriller-
MITZI: No! No, you couldn’t have done that to me! You mean, you saw him and I didn’t get to!?
BILLY BOB: Well, Mitzi, we invited you to come with us to Disney.
MITZI: Well… I had cheerleading practice!
BILLY BOB: I know. Well, maybe another time. But it was so much fun-
MITZI: I’ll never get to see him again and y’all got to see him!
BILLY BOB: Well-
MITZI: It’s not fair.
BILLY BOB: Well-
MITZI: Michael Jackson’s my favorite thing, I love him!
BILLY BOB: I’m sorry, Mitzi.
MITZI: Well. Did you get his autograph?
BILLY BOB: Gah, you know, we were so excited… I don’t know, we forgot.
MITZI: You didn’t get his autograph for me!?
BILLY BOB: No, no, I’m sorry.
MITZI: You’re so thoughtless!
BILLY BOB: I’m sorry. Um.
MITZI: If I was there, I would’ve gotten 400 autographs! If I was there and y’all weren’t there, I would’ve gotten autographs for y’all, too!
BILLY BOB: Well, gee, that’d be nice, Mitzi-
ROLFE: Hey! Autographs, autographs, that’s all I ever hear! “Rolfe, would you please give me your autograph?” Every time I go out in public, people beg me for my autographs. But you know what? I don’t give it to them. I get hounded so much, I’m just sick and tired of it. So, uh, no autographs and that’s all! So, the answer is no. No! I will not give you my autograph, Mitzi. I’m sorry, you’ll have to get-
EARL: Rolfe, Rolfe, Rolfe! They are not talking about you. They do not want your autograph, and neither does anybody else. Would somebody please close the curtains on this nerd? I can’t even stand to look at him.
BEACH BEAR: Wonderful idea, there. Mitzi.
(There’s an uncomfortable pause.)
MITZI: … What?
BEACH BEAR: People like Michael Jackson, they get accosted for autographs all the time. Now, he was out at Disney World trying to have a good time. If you had been there, trying to get 400 autographs, you would have ruined his day. Do you understand?
MITZI: Yeah. I understand.
BEACH BEAR: Good. Now, what are you gonna do if you see Michael Jackson?
MITZI (Sudden, explosive.): I’m gonna rip his shirt off!! I’m gonna get a clump of his hair!! I’m gonna tear off his shoes!! I’ll do ANYTHING just to make up for this time when I didn’t get his autograph!!
(A beat of stunned silence.)
BEACH BEAR: … Alright. I can understand that. But for now, uh, I think we should pay musical tribute to the man by butchering one of his songs.
[SONG: MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE/MEDLEY]
NO. 1: BILLIE JEAN
BEACH BEAR: But we really like you, Michael, so we’re gonna do it to a whole medley.
DOOK:
SHE TOLD ME HER NAME WAS BILLIE JEAN, AS SHE CAUSED A SCENE
THEN EVERY HEAD TURNED WITH EYES THAT DREAMED OF BEING THE ONE
DOOK & BEACH BEAR:
WHO WILL DANCE ON THE FLOOR IN THE ROUND
DOOK:
PEOPLE ALWAYS TOLD ME, TO BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DO
“DON’T GO AROUND BREAKING YOUNG GIRLS’ HEARTS”
AND MY MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME TO BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LOVE
“BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU DO
BECAUSE THE LIE BECOMES THE TRUTH”
HEY, HEY, HEY
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
BILLIE JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER
SHE’S JUST A GIRL WHO CLAIMS THAT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI:
I AM THE ONE
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
BUT THE KID IS NOT MY SON
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI:
SHE SAYS I AM THE ONE
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
BUT THE KID IS NOT MY SON
BILLY BOB: Hey, has anyone seen Michael’s new video?
FATZ: Are you kidding?
NO. 2: THRILLER
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
THRILLER
THRILLER NIGHT
BEACH BEAR:
AND NO ONE’S GONNA SAVE YOU
FROM THE BEAST ABOUT TO STRIKE
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
THRILLER
THRILLER NIGHT
BEACH BEAR:
YOU’RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE
INSIDER A KILLER, THRILLER
YOU HEAR THE DOOR SLAM
AND REALIZE THERE’S NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN
YOU FEEL THE COLD HAND
AND WONDER IF YOU’LL EVER SEE THE SUN
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES
BEACH BEAR:
AND HOPE THAT THIS IS JUST IMAGINATION
GIRL
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
BUT ALL THE WHILE
BEACH BEAR:
YOU HEAR A CREATURE CREEPING UP BEHIND
YOU’RE OUT OF TIME
‘CAUSE THIS IS
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
THRILLER
THRILLER NIGHT
BEACH BEAR:
THERE AIN’T NO SECOND CHANCE
FROM THE THING WITH FORTY EYES
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
THRILLER
THRILLER NIGHT
BEACH BEAR:
YOU’RE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE INSIDE A
DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
KILLER
BEACH BEAR:
KILLER
DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
THRILLER
BEACH BEAR:
THRILLER
BEACH BEAR, DOOK, MITZI, & BILLY BOB:
TONIGHT
NO. 3: WANNA BE STARTIN’ SOMETHING (INSTRUMENTAL)
SUN & MOON*:
MA, MA, SE
MA, MA, SA
MA, MA, COO, SA
BILLY BOB: Hey, what about that video Thriller? Has everybody seen it?
(Sounds of affirmation come from center stage.)
FATZ: Yeah, I saw it.
BILLY BOB: Yeah? What’cha think?
FATZ: It scared me to death! I had to watch it with one eye closed. I’m under my bed.
(Everyone laughs.)
BEACH BEAR: You know, I thought- I think it sets precedence for a contemporary musical demographic. I think it adds sort of an anti-pseudo-expressionism in it.
FATZ: Yeah.
BILLY BOB: What’s that mean?
BEACH BEAR: It means it’s- it’s now. It’s wow.
FATZ: Yeah. With a marketed propensity towards obesity and sloth.
BEACH BEAR: Right.
DOOK (Imitating the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz): “I do believe in spooks! I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks!”
(They laugh.)
BILLY BOB: Hey, Looney Bird, how ‘bout you? What’d you think of it?
LOONEY BIRD: I didn’t see it.
BILLY BOB: How come, Looney Bird? Everybody’s seen it.
LOONEY BIRD: It’s on MTV, right?
BILLY BOB: Right.
LOONEY BIRD: Well, every time I turn on MTV, all I see is John Cougar Mellencamp. So, I turn it off. There’s better stuff on my police scanner.
BILLY BOB: Hey, does anybody remember any of Michael’s old songs?
(Everyone agrees that they do.)
NO. 4: THE LOVE YOU SAVE (ORIGINALLY BY THE JACKSON 5)
ALL**:
DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO
MITZI:
WHEN WE PLAYED TAG IN GRADE SCHOOL
YOU WANTED TO BE IT
BUT CHASING GIRLS WAS JUST A FAD
YOU CROSSED YOUR HEART YOU’D QUIT
WHEN WE GREW UP YOU TRADED
YOUR PROMISE FOR MY RING
NOW JUST LIKE BACK IN GRADE SCHOOL
YOU’RE DOING THE SAME OLD THING
STOP, THE LOVE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR OWN
DARLING, TAKE IT SLOW
OR SOMEDAY YOU’LL BE ALL ALONE
YOU’D BETTER STOP, THE LOVE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR OWN
DARLING, LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE YOU CROSS ME
YOU’RE HEADED FOR THE DANGER ZONE
Sit down, boy! I think I love you! Now, wait a minute, boy! Get up! Show me what you can do!
ROLFE: Okay! Lucky day, lucky day! I’ve reconsidered. I’m going to sign some autographs after all! But a limited number only, of course. Ten autographs. The first ten people to get lined up right here- the line forms to the right- are gonna get autographs. No! Twenty autographs! That’s it! Lucky day! I’m in such a good mood!
(He laughs.)
EARL: Rolfe!
DOOK: Hey, Rolfe, we’re trying to do a show here about Michael Jackson. Why would anybody want your autograph?
ROLFE: Hey, hey, um. Uh. I am Michael’s inspiration, you know.
(Everyone protests.)
FATZ: Wait, wait, wait, y’all, chill out, chill out. Rolfe’s right. Here’s a song he had to inspire.
NO. 5: BEAT IT
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
ALL:
NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED
FATZ:
SHOWING HOW FUNKY AND STRONG IS YOUR FIGHT
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO’S WRONG OR RIGHT
JUST
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
ALL:
NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED
FATZ:
SHOWING HOW FUNKY AND STRONG IS YOUR FIGHT
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO’S WRONG OR RIGHT
JUST BEAT IT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
FATZ:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
FATZ:
YOU BETTER RUN, YOU BETTER DO WHAT YOU CAN
DON’T WANNA SEE NO BLOOD, DON’T BE NO MACHO MAN
YOU WANNA BE TOUGH, BETTER DO WHAT YOU CAN
SO BEAT IT
BUT YOU WANNA BE BAD
SO
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
ALL:
NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED
FATZ:
SHOWING HOW FUNKY AND STRONG IS YOUR FIGHT
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO’S WRONG OR RIGHT
JUST
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
ALL:
NO ONE WANTS TO BE DEFEATED
FATZ:
SHOWING HOW FUNKY AND STRONG IS YOUR FIGHT
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO’S WRONG OR RIGHT
JUST BEAT IT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
FATZ:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
FATZ:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
FATZ:
BEAT IT
DOOK, BEACH BEAR, MITZI, BILLY BOB, & LOONEY BIRD:
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
BEAT IT
FATZ:
BEAT IT
Better beat it, Rolfe.
BILLY BOB: Okay, well, hey, we had a lot of fun doing Michael’s songs today from his brilliant career, and we can’t wait to see what he has in store for us next!
BEACH BEAR: Yeah, we could butcher some of that, too.
END.
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Footnotes:
*This vocalization is repeated throughout this section, underscoring the dialogue.
**“ALL” encompasses the center and right stages. Rolfe and Earl do not sing in this number.
----------
Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#fatz geronimo#mitzi mozzarella#beach bear#dook larue#billy bob brockali#looney bird#rolfe dewolfe#earl schmerle
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 7: "Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" Transcript
Note: Here we are, at segment seven of Magic Night, with the second Letters to Looney Bird segment and Beach Bear's cover of Every Little Thing She Does is Magic. This was probably the hardest segment to do because it gets so unhinged so fast, but I did my best! Only one more segment after this one, but if you missed the rest of them, you can find links to them all at the bottom of the script. You can find the footnotes in the same area.
Some extra stammers and stutters omitted for clarity's sake.
As always, if I've made any mistakes, please let me know so I can fix them ASAP!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT SEVEN: "LETTERS TO LOONEY BIRD #2/EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC"
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob Brockali and Looney Bird
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
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FATZ: Hello, hello, hello! And welcome back to Magic Show here at Showbiz Pizza Place. Now, this next song certainly conjures up a special feeling of magic in my heart. It’s called, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic and it’s by a band I’m sure you’re all familiar with called The Police.
LOONEY BIRD: Wait, Fatz, wait! Hold on! Before you play your next song, I wondered if you’d mind if I did a little segment of Letters to Looney Bird.
FATZ: I don’t know, Looney Bird. I like the show and everything, no offense, but I’m just about to sing a song and I’d like to use these few minutes for my own little introduction, if you know what I mean. So, uh, it’s not often I get to visit with the audience here. I like to talk to them just a minute, you know.
LOONEY BIRD: Okay, okay. Well, I’ll be real quick. And besides, the next letter was written to you.
FATZ: No, I said, it’s, uh… What?
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, to you.
FATZ: … It’s written to me?
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah. Yeah.
FATZ: Well, why didn’t you say so? That’s a horse of a different color!
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, okay. Well, thanks, Fatz!
FATZ: Go right ahead and read it there! Uh-uh, yes! Take all the time you need.
BILLY BOB: See, Looney Bird? All you had to do was ask politely. A few good manners goes a long way!
FATZ: Read the letter, Looney Bird.
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, okay, quiet on the set. Give me my music!
(The band cues up the Letters to Looney Bird music and sound effects, underscoring LOONEY BIRD’s dialogue.)
LOONEY BIRD (Cont.): And now, Showbiz Pizza Place proudly presents: Letters to Looney Bird! An in-depth look at characters, places, and even some other characters here at Showbiz Piz-
FATZ: Read- Read- Read the letter, Looney Bird.
LOONEY BIRD: Your host today is me, the Looney Bird, the world-renowned, uh. Okay. Okay, I’ll read the letter. Forget the intro.
(The music and sound effects fade out.)
LOONEY BIRD (Cont.): Okay, here’s the letter. This letter is written from eight-year-old Debbie Hawkins of Jacksonville, Florida. We got anybody from Jacksonville out there?
FATZ: Uh, read the letter, Looney Bird, I wanna hear what you’re telling me.
LOONEY BIRD: Okay, okay. Okay, yeah. Quick, quick, here it comes. “Dear Looney Bird, I am writing you this letter because I have a crush on Fatz.” Yeah, yeah! “But please don’t tell him because I would just die.”
(This draws laughter from a few members of the band.)
FATZ: Read it, Looney Bird!
LOONEY BIRD (Cont.): “Could you find out how old he is, so I can know what the chances are of us going steady? I am only eight, but my daddy says I’m real mature for my age. Thank you very much. Love, Debbie Hawkins.” Well, Fatz, do you have an answer for Debbie?
FATZ: Uh. Well-
DOOK (In a mocking falsetto voice.): “Will you go steady with me, Fatz? I just love those big muscles and black hair!”
(This draws more laughter.)
FATZ: Hey! Dook, if you don’t quit that-
BILLY BOB: Come on, Dook, hey come on, let’s-
FATZ: Hey! Cut the sarcasm back there, if you don’t mind. Now, uh, what was that question, Looney Bird?
LOONEY BIRD: Debbie wants to know how old you are.
FATZ: Oh, that’s right. Uh, let me see, uh… How old I am… Uh… I don’t know. 20? 30? 40? Beats me! I really don’t know. Uh.
BEACH BEAR: Oh, come on.
LOONEY BIRD: Okay, well, come on, I mean, you know, be serious!
FATZ: Well, uh. Okay. Just- Just- Just- Just, uh. Let me think here. Uh. Tell you the truth, I’m, uh, I’m exactly-lactly, presently and accounted for, not more or less than, uh… eleven years of faithful gorilla service to all ape kind.
LOONEY BIRD: Eleven?
FATZ: That means I’m eleven, not a day older.
LOONEY BIRD: You expect my show to have any credibility telling someone you’re eleven!?
(BEACH BEAR starts to interject.)
FATZ: I am eleven! That’s what I said! And, uh-
LOONEY BIRD: Beach Bear, what were you gonna say?
BEACH BEAR: I was gonna say, if we cut his leg in half, I think we could count the rings and really find out the whole answer to this.
(Everyone laughs.)
FATZ: No, no, I’m really-
BILLY BOB: That’s a zinger!
(More laughter.)
BEACH BEAR: Thanks.
FATZ: I’m eleven in gorilla years.
LOONEY BIRD: Oh. Gorilla years. Explain that, please.
FATZ: Well, you’ve heard of dog years, haven’t you?
LOONEY BIRD: Boy, I’m a good commentator.
FATZ: Yeah, you are, Looney Bird. You’re a good-
LOONEY BIRD: You think I’m gonna get good ratings for this?
FATZ: Yeah!
LOONEY BIRD: Excuse me. Go ahead, go ahead, I’m sorry.
FATZ: I think you’re a [?]*, too.
(Everyone laughs.)
BILLY BOB: Now, come on, let’s uh- uh. How old are you, Fatz? Go ahead, tell us.
FATZ: Well, I’m eleven in gorilla years. You’ve heard of dog years and everything.
BILLY BOB: Uh-huh.
FATZ: One people year’s supposed to equal seven dog years, right?
BILLY BOB: Uh-huh.
FATZ: Well, so you got dog years, you got gorilla years. You got mouse years, you got bear years, bird years. You got all kinds of years. You got groundhog years, you got green spotted snapping turtle years. And you got Tasmanian leaf-eating albino pygmy gopher years, you know.
LOONEY BIRD: Tasmanian what?
FATZ: You got walrus years, and you got antelope years-
BILLY BOB: Wait a minute, Fatz. Wait a minute. That’s enough. We all got the point, um-
(As FATZ goes on, DOOK, BEACH BEAR, and MITZI begin to laugh.)
FATZ: You got horny toad years, you got pregnant guppy years, and you know what else you got? You got Sam the Chowderhead years.
(BILLY BOB joins in the laughter.)
BILLY BOB: Sam the Chowderhead? What- What brought that up?
FATZ: Yeah, and you also- you got water buffalo, baby water buffalo years, uh-
BEACH BEAR: Hey, how do you-
FATZ: Huh?
BEACH BEAR: How do you know all this?
FATZ: I just know it. I know about baby buffalos. I know they’re all required to hibernate during the first month of every year for a couple of weeks unless, of course, they have a note from their mamas.
(BILLY BOB laughs.)
BILLY BOB: A note from their mamas?
FATZ: That’s exactly right.
BILLY BOB: Well, how do you know that?
FATZ: Well, it’s common sense.
BILLY BOB: Oh. Whoa.
FATZ: Didn’t you take biology in high school?
BILLY BOB: Yeah! I did. Was I supposed to learn that?
FATZ: Yeah. They’re supposed to teach you that. You guess you know but you don’t remember?
BILLY BOB: Maybe I kinda remember. I made a C.
FATZ: You don’t know about the baby water buffalo?
BILLY BOB: Well, uh, it’s- a little bit of it. Yeah, let me think about that for a minute. Um.
LOONEY BIRD: Uh. Okay. Well. Let’s move onto another letter.
BILLY BOB: No, Looney Bird, I think we were only allowed one letter here. I don’t know.
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, okay. I’m sure Fatz wouldn’t mind if I read some letters. There were a few addressed to me. A few girls want to know about me. Or a few, uh, birds want to know about me.
FATZ: Yeah, I’m sure they all do, Looney Bird, but can the letter stuff right now, we got to sing a song.
BILLY BOB: Hey, I just thought of something about water buffalos I learned!
FATZ: No, no, would you all- would you just finish up? Why don’t you talk about water buffalos outside, there, Billy Bob? Just take it out the back door, there.
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, okay, Billy Bob. Come on, yeah, you’re spoiling my show here, anyway. Okay, what are we gonna do now, Fatz?
FATZ: Well, I’d like to dedicate this next song to little Debbie Hawkins, wherever she may be.
LOONEY BIRD: Jacksonville, Florida. I said that at the beginning.
[SONG: EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC (ORIGINALLY BY THE POLICE)]
BEACH BEAR:
THOUGH I’VE TRIED BEFORE TO TELL HER
OF THE FEELINGS I HAVE FOR HER IN MY HEART
EVERY TIME THAT I COME NEAR HER
I JUST LOSE MY NERVE AS I’VE DONE FROM THE START
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC
EVERYTHING SHE DO JUST TURNS ME ON
EVEN THOUGH MY LIFE BEFORE WAS TRAGIC
NOW I KNOW MY LOVE FOR HER GOES ON
DO I HAVE TO TELL THE STORY
OF A THOUSAND RAINY DAYS SINCE WE FIRST MET
IT’S A BIG ENOUGH UMBRELLA
BUT IT’S ALWAYS ME THAT ENDS UP GETTING WET
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC
EVERYTHING SHE DO JUST TURNS ME ON
EVEN THOUGH MY LIFE BEFORE WAS TRAGIC
NOW I KNOW MY LOVE FOR HER GOES ON
I RESOLVED TO CALL HER UP
A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY
ASK HER IF SHE’LL MARRY ME
SOME OLD-FASHIONED WAY
BUT MY
ALL**:
SILENT FEARS HAVE GRIPPED ME
LONG BEFORE I REACH THE PHONE
AND BEFORE MY TONGUE HAS TRIPPED ME
MUST I ALWAYS BE ALONE
BEACH BEAR:
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC
EVERYTHING SHE DO JUST TURNS ME ON
EVEN THOUGH MY LIFE BEFORE WAS TRAGIC
NOW I KNOW MY LOVE FOR HER GOES ON
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC
EVERYTHING SHE DO JUST TURNS ME ON
EVEN THOUGH MY LIFE BEFORE WAS TRAGIC
NOW I KNOW MY LOVE FOR HER GOES ON
ON AND ON AND
EVERY LITTLE THING
EVERY LITTLE THING
EVERY LITTLE
EVERY LITTLE
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS
MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC
ALL:
E-OH, E-OH, E-OH, E-OH
E-OH, E-OH, E-OH, E-OH
E-OH, E-OH, E-OH, E-OH
E-OH, E-OH, E-OH, E-OH
BEACH BEAR:
EVERY LITTLE THING
EVERY LITTLE THING
EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS
ALL:
MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC
MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC
YO, YO
YO, YO
YO, YO, YO, YO, YO
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)
BEACH BEAR:
BIG ENOUGH UMBRELLA
END.
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Footnotes:
*It sounds as if Fatz says something along the lines of “commonsseur”, which could possibly be a play on the words “commentator” and “connoisseur” or an entirely different word/phrase altogether. They move on from the joke very quickly, so there’s very little context to go off of. My guess is that it’s likely the former, but I’d rather play a guessing game in the footnotes than have it be wrong in the actual transcript. :)
**“ALL” section includes Fatz, Mitzi, and Dook backing up Beach Bear, who remains on lead vocals all through the song. Left and right stage curtains are closed through this number.
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Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#fatz geronimo#billy bob brockali#looney bird#beach bear#dook larue#mitzi mozzarella#transcript
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 5: "Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon" Transcript
Note: We're just chugging through these! Next up is segment five of Magic Night, featuring a wonderful performance of Puff the Magic Dragon that spotlights Billy Bob. At the bottom of the script, you can find links to the rest of the Magic Night transcripts, as can the footnotes.
As normal, some stutters and stammers have been omitted for clarity.
If anything is inaccurate, please let me know, and I'll make corrections ASAP!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT FIVE: MULTIPLE VOICE/PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON
Featuring:
Aaron Fechter as Rolfe DeWolfe, Earl Schmerle, Billy Bob Brockali, and Looney Bird
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
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EARL: Ladies and gentlemen: the next song to be performed on these stages here before you today will be introduced by Rolfe DeWolfe. Here he is: Rolfe DeWolfe!
(When ROLFE speaks, his voice is multiplied, as though recordings of himself are playing on top of him already speaking. It makes for a disjointed, echoing sound.)
ROLFE: Thank you, thank you, thank you! The next song will be sung by-
EARL: Rolfe! What’s wrong with your voice, man?
ROLFE: Uh. I don’t know!
BILLY BOB: Hey, guys! Couldn’t help but overhear. I’m sorry to interrupt, but Rolfe’s got Multiple Voice! It’s a rare disease that only occurs in animated characters. You gotta keep him from talking!
EARL: Oh, no! Is it contagious!?
BILLY BOB: No, it’s just- just something went wrong with his brain.
EARL: Well, what else is new? Sorry, folks! Due to technical difficulties in Rolfe’s brain- as usual- the next song will be performed without an introduction… Of course, it’s about a dragon.
[SONG: PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON (ORIGINALLY BY PETER, PAUL & MARY)]
BILLY BOB:
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
LITTLE JACKIE PAPER LOVED THAT RASCAL PUFF
AND BROUGHT HIM STRINGS, AND SEALING WAX, AND OTHER FANCY STUFF
OH
ALL*:
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
BILLY BOB:
TOGETHER THEY WOULD TRAVEL ON A BOAT WITH BILLOWED SAIL
JACKIE STAYED A LOOKOUT PERCH ON PUFF’S GIGANTIC TAIL
NOBLE KINGS AND PRINCES WOULD BOW WHENE’ER THEY CAME
PIRATE SHIPS WOULD LOWER THEIR FLAGS WHEN PUFF ROARED OUT HIS NAME
ALL:
OH
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLCKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
BILLY BOB:
A DRAGON LIVES FOREVER, BUT NOT SO LITTLE BOYS
PAINTED WINGS AND GIANTS' RINGS MAKE WAY FOR OTHER TOYS
ONE GRAY NIGHT IT HAPPENED, JACKIE PAPER CAME NO MORE
AND PUFF THAT MIGHTY DRAGON, HE CEASED HIS FEARLESS ROAR
HIS HEAD WAS BENT IN SORROW, GREEN TEARS FELL LIKE RAIN
PUFF NO LONGER WENT TO PLAY ALONG THE CHERRY LANE
WITHOUT HIS LIFELONG FRIEND, PUFF COULD NOT BE BRAVE
SO, PUFF THAT MIGHTY DRAGON, SADLY SLIPPED INTO HIS CAVE
ALL:
OH
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN THE AUTUMN’S MIST IN A LAND CALLED HONAH LEE
END.
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Footnotes:
*“ALL” includes the right and center stages; Rolfe and Earl’s curtain is closed during this performance.
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Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
#okay maybe i lied about abracadabra medley being the last one for tonight#i looked at my to-do list and realized how short this tape is#so i figured i might as well go ahead and post it#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#billy bob brockali#looney bird#rolfe dewolfe#earl schmerle#fatz geronimo#dook larue#beach bear#mitzi mozzarella
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 4: "Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley" Transcript
Note: Next up, one of my favorite segments of Magic Night, segment four, featuring Dook's Magical Abracadabra Medley. I hope this one is not too much of a hassle to follow; the way the medley is structured and the way the post has to be formatted makes it a little difficult, but I tried to make the song switches as clear as possible. If you're interested in transcriptions from other segments of the tape, you can find links to all of them at the very bottom of the script. Footnotes are also included.
Some extra stutters and stammers have been omitted for clarity's sake.
Of course, if you notice any mistakes, please feel free to let me know and I'll correct them ASAP!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT FOUR: ABRACADABRA MEDLEY INTRO/ABRACADABRA MEDLEY
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
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FATZ: Okay, okay, hello, folks! How’re y’all doing out there? Fatz here, and we’re continuing with our magic theme. I believe Dook’s got a real nice medley of songs for us. Ain’t that right there, Dookie?
DOOK: That’s right, Fatz, and we’re gonna sing a song by, uh… Abra- Uh… Um…
FATZ: What’cha gonna sing, Dook? Come on.
DOOK: I'm gonna sing a melody- medley of songs, and one of them’s called Abracadabra by Steve Miller, and the other one is, uh, You Can Do Magic by America.
FATZ: Oh, I bet that’s gonna turn out fine-
MITZI: Hey! How come you get to sing both those songs? That is not fair!
DOOK: Well, the magic show was my idea.
MITZI: So what? Who cares?
DOOK: Well, the boss said I could. Now. Do I need any more reason than that?
(There is a tense pause.)
BEACH BEAR: Welcome to the cutthroat world of fast-food entertainment.
(The tension dissipates as FATZ and MITZI laugh.)
[SONG: ABRACADABRA MEDLEY]
NO. 1: ABRACADABRA (ORIGINALLY BY THE STEVE MILLER BAND)
DOOK:
I HEAT UP, I CAN’T COOL DOWN
YOU GOT ME SPINNING AROUND AND ‘ROUND
‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND IT GOES
WHERE IT STOPS, NOBODY KNOWS
EVERY TIME YOU CALL MY NAME
I HEAT UP LIKE A BURNING FLAME
BURNING FLAME, FULL OF DESIRE
KISS ME BABY, AND LET THE FIRE GET HOTTER
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
ABRA-ABRACADABRA
I WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA
ABRA-ABRACADABRA
ABRACADABRA
(TRANSITION INTO:)
NO. 2: YOU CAN DO MAGIC (ORIGINALLY BY AMERICA)
DOOK:
I NEVER BELIEVED IN THINGS THAT I COULDN’T SEE
I SAID IF I CAN’T FEEL IT THEN HOW CAN IT BE
NO, NO MAGIC COULD HAPPEN TO ME
AND THEN I
DOOK, FATZ, MITZI, & BEACH BEAR:
SAW YOU
DOOK:
I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT
DOOK, FATZ, MITZI, & BEACH BEAR:
YOU TOOK MY HEART
DOOK:
I COULDN’T RETRIEVE IT
DOOK, FATZ, MITZI, & BEACH BEAR:
SAID TO MYSELF
DOOK:
WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT
DOOK, FATZ, MITZI, & BEACH BEAR:
NOW I KNOW THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT
YOU CAN DO MAGIC
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU DESIRE
MAGIC
AND YOU KNOW YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
(TRANSITION BACK INTO:)
NO. 1: ABRACADABRA
DOOK:
YOU MAKE ME HOT, YOU MAKE ME SIGH
YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, YOU MAKE ME CRY
KEEP ME BURNING FOR YOUR LOVE
WITH THE TOUCH OF A VELVET GLOVE
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
ABRA-ABRACADABRA
I WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA
ABRA-ABRACADABRA
ABRACADABRA
(TRANSITION BACK INTO:)
NO. 2: YOU CAN DO MAGIC
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
YOU KNOW DARN WELL
WHEN YOU CAST YOUR SPELL, YOU WILL GET YOUR WAY
WHEN YOU HYPNOTIZE WITH YOUR EYES
A HEART OF STONE CAN TURN TO CLAY
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO
(TRANSITION ONCE MORE INTO:)
NO. 1: ABRACADABRA
DOOK:
I FEEL THE MAGIC IN YOUR CARESS
I FEEL MAGIC WHEN I TOUCH YOUR DRESS
SILK AND SATIN, LEATHER AND LACE
A BLACK DRESS WITH AN ANGEL’S FACE
I CAN SEE MAGIC IN YOUR EYES
I HEAR THE MAGIC IN YOUR SIGHS
JUST WHEN I THINK I’M GONNA GET AWAY
I HEAR THOSE WORDS THAT YOU ALWAYS SAY
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
ABRA-ABRACADABRA
I WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA
ABRA-ABRACADABRA
ABRACADABRA
(TRANSITION ONCE MORE INTO:)
NO. 2: YOU CAN DO MAGIC
DOOK:
AND WHEN THE RAIN IS BEATING
UPON THE WINDOWPANE
AND WHEN THE NIGHT, IT GETS SO COLD
AND WHEN I CAN’T SLEEP
AGAIN YOU COME TO ME
I HOLD YOU TIGHT, THE RAIN DISAPPEARS
WHO WOULD BELIEVE IT
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
WITH A WORD, YOU DRY MY TEARS
YOU CAN DO MAGIC
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU DESIRE
MAGIC
AND YOU KNOW YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
(TRANSITION BACK INTO:)
NO. 1: ABRACADABRA
DOOK:
EVERY TIME YOU CALL MY NAME
I HEAT UP LIKE A BURNING FLAME
BURNING FLAME, FULL OF DESIRE
KISS ME BABY, LET THE FIRE GET HIGHER
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
(TRANSITION BACK INTO:)
NO. 2: YOU CAN DO MAGIC
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
YOU KNOW DARN WELL
WHEN YOU CAST YOUR SPELL, YOU WILL GET YOUR WAY
WHEN YOU HYPNOTIZE
WITH YOUR EYES
A HEART OF STONE CAN TURN TO CLAY
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO
DOOK:
AND IF I WANTED TO
I COULD NEVER BE FREE
I NEVER BELIEVED IT WAS TRUE
BUT NOW IT’S SO CLEAR TO ME
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
YOU CAN DO MAGIC
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING THAT YOU DESIRE
MAGIC
AND YOU KNOW YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
(FINAL TRANSITION INTO A COMBINATION OF BOTH SONGS:)
DOOK:
I HEAT UP, I CAN’T COOL DOWN (ABRA-ABRACADABRA)*
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
DOOK:
I HEAT UP, I CAN’T COOL DOWN (ABRA-ABRACADABRA)
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
DOOK:
I HEAT UP, I CAN’T COOL DOWN (ABRA-ABRACADABRA)
DOOK, FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, IT
DOO, DOO, DOO
DOO, DOO, IT
DOOK:
I HEAT UP (ABRA-ABRACADABRA)
I HEAT UP
I HEAT UP
(Affecting a silly voice.) It’s hot in here! (He laughs.) I’m so sorry.
END.
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Footnotes:
*Parentheses implies that Fatz, Beach Bear, and Mitzi are singing the enclosed line underneath Dook's main vocals.
----------
Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 2: "Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic" Transcript
Note: And here's the second segment of Showbiz Pizza's Magic Night show tape! This segment includes Fatz's infamous witch story, and his and Mitzi's cover of That Old Black Magic. If you missed out on segment one, there's a list of links to transcriptions for the rest of Magic Night at the end of the script.
Some extra stutters and stammers have been omitted for clarity's sake.
I've done my very best to ensure that this is as accurate as possible, but of course, I am human and fully capable of making a mistake, so if you have a correction, please feel free to let me know!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT TWO: FATZ'S WITCH STORY/THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
----------
FATZ: Okay, continuing with our magic theme for you, Mitzi and I are gonna sing one of my particular favorites called, That Old Black Magic. Now, there’s a special story that comes to mind every time I sing this song, and since we are, in fact, about to sing this little ditty for you, I thought it’d be fitting if I were to-
MITZI: Tell us a story?
FATZ: Uh, yeah, exactly! Now, let’s see, uh… Not long ago, there were these two very mean and nasty old witches. Oh, boy, they were mean. They were so mean that people used to walk up to ‘em and say, “Phew! You sure do look mean. I bet you don’t even get to go out on too many double dates, do you?”
(DOOK and MITZI laugh.)
BEACH BEAR: Ooh, that’s mean. Mean.
FATZ: Well, these two witches were used to that kind of talk and in fact, they kind of liked it, you know, all the attention and everything. Well, one day these two witches was snooping around this little village-
MITZI: Fatz?
FATZ: Yeah, Mitzi?
MITZI: What were their names?
FATZ: Names? Uh…
MITZI: Yeah, their names.
FATZ: Well, I don’t- I don’t think these witches had any names.
MITZI: Oh, come on, Fatz! Everybody has to have a name!
DOOK: No names? How could that be? They got to have some kind of names. I mean, everybody’s got a name.
BEACH BEAR: Yeah. Yeah, right.
MITZI: Right!
FATZ: Yeah, that’s true, but these witches didn’t. At least, not in this story. They were just called, “Two Witches”. “Two Mean, Old, Nasty Witches”. Now, you see, these two witches- whose, by the way, names was so scary that if you heard ‘em, you’d probably start screaming and stuff, it just gives me goosebumps thinking about ‘em. Well, anyway, these two witches were real scary, and they were snooping around this little village, and they happened to see this farmer’s daughter sitting under this big ol' tree all by herself.
DOOK: A farmer’s daughter? Well, didn’t she have a name or what?
FATZ: No, no, no. She just called her- She’s just The Farmer’s Daughter.
DOOK: Are you sure?
FATZ: Positive. Now, listen-
BEACH BEAR: The plot thickens.
(They all get a chuckle out of this, even FATZ, who is becoming more irritated with each interruption.)
FATZ: Now, everybody, listen up here. When the farmer’s daughter saw the two witches, she was very startled.
MITZI: Is this gonna have a happy ending?
FATZ: Well, if you quit interrupting me just a few minutes, you’ll find out!
MITZI: I’m sorry.
FATZ: Okay, well, now, I was saying: the farmer’s daughter was startled because she knew the two witches could cast spells on people, and that made her nervous. “How come you’re sitting under the tree all by yourself?” one of the witches asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Well,” replied the farmer’s daughter, “actually, there is. You see, I’m in love with this handsome, young prince and he doesn’t even know my name.”
DOOK: That’s because she doesn’t have a name! How could he know?
FATZ: Dook, please, this is only a story. Try to go with it.
DOOK: Well, I hope this thing is leading to something ‘cause it’s starting to drag.
FATZ: Well, Dook, just have a little faith in me, now. You’ll like the end of this story, I promise you. So’re you folks out there, y’all all gonna like it if you just let me finish.
BEACH BEAR: Alright, Fatz, you got the floor. Go ahead. Finish.
FATZ: Thank you very much. Everybody listen up. These two clever witches could spot someone who needed a magic spell ten miles away and the farmer’s daughter was just such a person. “Would you like to marry this young prince?” one of the witches asked.
“Of course!” replied the young girl. “That would never happen.”
“If you could bring us one of your father’s fat milking cows,” the witch continued, “then we can make sure that a handsome, young prince will marry you the first time he ever lays his eyes on you.”
MITZI: Oh! Oh! Oh, I know how this ends! See, the two witches give the farmer’s daughter a magic love potion and then she gives it to the young prince to drink! And when he drinks it, he falls madly in love with her because he’s under a spell that can’t be broken!
FATZ: Uh.
MITZI: Isn’t that right? Isn’t that right, how it ends, Fatz? Huh?
FATZ: Uh. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Th- Th- That’s one way of ending it, there, Mitzi, that’s right.
MITZI: Well, tell us your ending, Fatz! It’s so exciting!
FATZ: Uh. Well, uh. It’s kind of- It’s a little anticlimactic after Mit-
BEACH BEAR: Then don’t bother.
MITZI: That’s okay.
FATZ: Yeah, it wasn’t a very good story, anyway. It really wasn’t a very good story.
MITZI: We understand. But Fatz, this was so fun! Can we do this again? Please?
FATZ: Oh, yeah. Lots of fun. Lots of fun.
MITZI: This is so exciting.
FATZ: We’ll have to do this just- every day. Oh, yeah. Lots of fun.
MITZI: Great!
FATZ: But right now, let’s just get into That Old Black Magic and get away from all this fun, okay?
MITZI: Okay.
(FATZ and MITZI share amused laughs.)
[SONG: THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC (ORIGINALLY BY HAROLD ARLEN AND JOHNNY MERCER)]
FATZ:
OLD BLACK MAGIC HAS ME IN ITS SPELL
MITZI:
OLD BLACK MAGIC THAT YOU WEAVE SO WELL
FATZ:
OH, THOSE ICY FINGERS UP AND DOWN MY SPINE
MITZI:
THE SAME OLD WITCHCRAFT WHEN YOUR EYES MEET MINE
FATZ:
THE SAME OLD TINGLE THAT I FEEL INSIDE
MITZI:
AND THEN THAT ELEVATOR STARTS TO ARRIVE
FATZ:
DOWN AND DOWN I GO
MITZI:
‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND I GO
FATZ:
LIKE A LEAF THAT’S CAUGHT IN THE TIDE
MITZI:
I SHOULD STAY AWAY
BUT WHAT CAN I DO
I HEAR YOUR NAME
AND I’M AFLAME
FATZ: Yeah, baby, I know how it is!
AFLAME
BURNING DESIRE
MITZI:
THAT ONLY YOUR KISS
FATZ:
CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
YOU’RE THE LOVE THAT I HAVE WAITED FOR
MITZI:
YOU’RE THE MATE THAT FATE HAD ME CREATED FOR
FATZ: Why, sure!
MITZI:
AND EVERY TIME YOUR LIPS MEET MINE
FATZ:
BABY
DOOK & BEACH BEAR:
BABY
FATZ:
DOWN AND DOWN I GO
‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND I GO
IN A SPIN
LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
MITZI:
OOH, IN A SPIN
LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
FATZ & MITZI:
IN A SPIN
LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
MITZI:
I SHOULD STAY AWAY
BUT WHAT CAN I DO
FATZ: It’s impossible!
MITZI:
I HEAR YOUR NAME
AND I’M AFLAME
FATZ:
AFLAME
BURNING DESIRE
MITZI:
THAT ONLY YOUR KISS
FATZ:
CAN PUT OUT THE FIRE
OH, YOU’RE THE LOVE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR
MITZI:
YOU’RE THE MATE THAT FATE HAD ME CREATED FOR
AND EVERY TIME YOUR LIPS MEET MINE
FATZ:
BABY
DOOK & BEACH BEAR:
BABY
FATZ:
DOWN AND DOWN I GO
‘ROUND AND ‘ROUND I GO
IN A SPIN
LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
MITZI:
AAH, IN A SPIN
LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
FATZ & MITZI:
IN A SPIN
LOVIN’ THE SPIN I’M IN
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
UNDER THE OLD BLACK MAGIC CALLED LOVE
END.
----------
Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 1: "Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley" Transcript
Edit (05/15/24): I got confirmation that Billy Bob and Looney Bird do NOT sing in the Magic Carpet Ride section of the medley. Their curtain isn’t open during this part at all.
Note: Below the cut, you'll find my best effort at transcribing the first segment of Showbiz Pizza's Magic Night show tape from 1984, which includes the intro skit for the entire show and the first song, which is a medley of magic-themed songs. You can also find some footnotes at the very end of the script, along with a list of links to transcriptions of the rest of the Magic Night segments.
Some extra stutters and stammers have been omitted for clarity's sake.
I've done my very best to ensure that this is as accurate as possible, but of course, I am human and fully capable of making a mistake, so if you have a correction, please feel free to let me know!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT ONE: MAGIC NIGHT INTRO/MAGIC MEDLEY
Featuring:
Aaron Fechter as Rolfe DeWolfe, Earl Schmerle, Billy Bob Brockali, and Looney Bird
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
----------
FATZ: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to Magic Night here at Showbiz Pizza! Now, you’re all probably wondering to yourself, or to the people next to you, in which case, they’re probably telling you to quit wondering so loud in their ear so they can enjoy the show and also understand exactly what I’m trying to tell you, which is, uh, this! It’s uh-
DOOK: What?
(MITZI laughs.)
FATZ: You got a problem, Dook? What do you mean, screaming, “what,” in the middle of my little speech when I was on a roll and everything?
DOOK: Well, you wasn't making no sense.
(MITZI laughs again.)
FATZ: Well, I hadn’t had a chance to say anything yet!
DOOK: I know, that’s what I mean! You’re talking but you ain’t saying nothing.
FATZ: Well, I’m about to if you’d just let me.
DOOK: Okay, man. I was just trying to keep the flow going, that’s all. No big deal.
FATZ: Okay, okay. Well, thank you very much, but anyway, back to what I was saying. You see, from time to time, we like to put these themes together for our shows, just to add a little spice and continuity, if you know what I mean. And the theme for this particular show happens to be magic. Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Hey. I don’t like magic. I hate card tricks, and birds that disappear bore me to death.” Well, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. However, just to put your mind at ease, we are not going to attempt to perform any magic tricks on this stage at this particular time because, quite honestly, none of us here are certified and bonafide magicians.
MITZI: Well, what about Rolfe? He's a ventriloquist.
FATZ: Now, now, Mitzi, don’t be calling Rolfe any names. That’s not nice, and besides, he can’t help it if that’s what he is.
BEACH BEAR: No, Fatz, see, you don’t understand. A ventriloquist is someone who can make his voice appear as though it’s coming from someplace else.
FATZ: Yeah, so?
DOOK: So, Rolfe over there, he makes his voice sound like it’s coming from Earl’s mouth.
FATZ: Wait, wait, wait, wait. You’re trying to tell me that when Earl talks it’s really Rolfe’s voice?
DOOK: Yeah, exactly.
EARL: Wait! Hey, come on, you guys. I don’t know what you’re trying to pull over there, but listen up. I am me, and Rolfe is Rolfe, poor soul, and that is that. You understand?
DOOK: Yo, Earl! We ain’t trying to hurt your feelings or nothing, man, but we’re just trying to explain to everybody that Rolfe’s a ventriloquist and you’re supposed to be a dummy.
(A few of the other band members laugh.)
EARL: What!? Hey! You guys’re really trying to make me mad! Ooh, I’m so mad!
ROLFE: Hey, Earl, come on, man, don’t overreact.
EARL: Who’s overreacting!?
ROLFE: You are! Let’s face it. Every sound and every gesture that you make comes from me.
EARL: Oh, yeah? Well, prove it.
(FATZ, MITZI, BEACH BEAR, and DOOK make general sounds of agreement, goading ROLFE on.)
ROLFE: Okay, watch this everyone: Earl, why don’t you tell everybody here just how long you’ve been in showbusiness?
(There's a beat of awkward silence.)
ROLFE (Cont.): Uh. Come on, Earl. Tell everybody how long you’ve been in showbusiness.
(The others are doing a poor job at keeping their laughter hushed.)
ROLFE (Cont.): Earl, come on, man. Earl, I’m waiting.
(After another beat of silence, an exasperated ROLFE starts again, in a terrible approximation of EARL’s voice. Really, it’s almost impressive how awful his impersonation is.)
ROLFE (Cont., Imitating EARL): “I have been in showbusiness for almost three years and I have enjoyed working with Rolfe DeWolfe, uh, who is a good ventriloquist and I…”
(ROLFE’s confidence wanes as he realizes he’s convincing no one. The others are finding this amusing for all of the wrong reasons, making him noticeably embarrassed.)
ROLFE (Cont., As himself.): Uh... I am a geek.
(The others share one more good natured laugh amongst themselves.)
EARL: Right, Rolfe. You’re a geek. Now, would somebody close these curtains and get us outta here?
FATZ: Uh, now hold on there, Earl. Don’t close the curtains just yet. We got a medley to do. And, uh… Wait. Billy Bob! Come on out here!
BILLY BOB: Okay, Fatz!
FATZ: We’re gonna need you and Looney Bird for this.
BILLY BOB: Okay, great!
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, great!
FATZ: Now, uh, we got three songs to do here in a medley, y’all. It’s gonna be Magical Mystery Tour, Black Magic Woman, and Magic Carpet Ride.
LOONEY BIRD: Great.
FATZ: And for those of you who are paying particularly close attention, be on the lookout for our subtle and effective use of the theme “magic” in these here songs. Okay. Let’s do it.
[SONG: MAGIC MEDLEY]
NO. 1: MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (ORIGINALLY BY THE BEATLES)
BILLY BOB: Roll up, fellas, for the Magical Mystery Tour! Step right this way!
ALL*:
ROLL UP
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
FATZ:
YOU'VE GOT AN INVITATION
ALL:
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
FATZ:
SO, MAKE A RESERVATION
ALL:
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
BILLY BOB:
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS WAITING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ALL:
WAITING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ROLL UP
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
BEACH BEAR:
THEY'VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED
ALL:
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
MITZI:
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED
ALL:
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
BEACH BEAR:
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS HOPING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ALL:
HOPING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)
ALL:
AH
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
DOOK:
YOU'VE GOT AN INVITATION
ALL:
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
ROLL UP
FATZ:
SO, MAKE A RESERVATION
ALL:
ROLL UP FOR THE MYSTERY TOUR
EARL:
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS WAITING** TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ALL:
HOPING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
BILLY BOB:
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS DYING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ALL:
DYING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
TAKE YOU TODAY
(FADE INTO AN INSTRUMENTAL BREAK THAT TAKES US INTO:)
NO. 2: BLACK MAGIC WOMAN (ORIGINALLY BY FLEETWOOD MAC)
BEACH BEAR:
I GOT A BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
I GOT A BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
I GOT A BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
SHE GOT ME SO BLIND I CAN’T SEE
I GOT A BLACK MAGIC WOMAN
SHE’S TRYING TO MAKE A DEVIL OUT OF ME
TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, BABY
TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, GIRL
DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, GIRL
YOU’RE MESSING AROUND WITH THOSE TRICKS
DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, BABY
YOU JUST MIGHT BREAK UP MY MAGIC STICK
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)
YOU GOT YOUR SPELL ON ME, BABY
YOU GOT YOUR SPELL ON ME, GIRL
YOU GOT YOUR SPELL ON ME, BABY
YOU’RE TURNING MY HEART INTO STONE
WELL, I NEED YOU SO BAD, MAGIC WOMAN
I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
(FADE INTO ANOTHER INSTRUMENTAL BREAK THAT TAKES US INTO:)
NO. 3: MAGIC CARPET RIDE (ORIGINALLY BY STEPPENWOLF)
EARL:
I LIKE TO DREAM
YEAH, YEAH
RIGHT BETWEEN THE SOUND MACHINE
ON A CLOUD OF SOUND, I DRIFT IN THE NIGHT
ANY PLACE IT GOES IS RIGHT
IT GOES FAR, IT FLIES NEAR TO THE STARS AWAY FROM HERE
WELL
EARL, DOOK, & MITZI:
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT
WE CAN FIND
EARL:
WHY DON’T YOU COME WITH ME, LITTLE GIRL
ON A MAGIC CARPET RIDE
WELL
EARL, DOOK, & MITZI:
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT
WE CAN SEE
EARL:
WHY DON’T YOU TELL YOUR DREAMS TO ME
FANTASY WILL SET YOU FREE
CLOSE YOUR EYES, GIRL
LOOK INSIDE, GIRL
LET THE SOUND TAKE YOU AWAY
LAST NIGHT, I HELD ALADDIN’S LAMP
AND SO I WISHED THAT I COULD STAY
BEFORE THE THING COULD ANSWER ME
WELL, SOMEONE TOOK THE LAMP AWAY
I LOOKED AROUND
A LOUSY CANDLE WAS ALL I FOUND
WELL
EARL, DOOK, & MITZI:
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT
WE CAN FIND
EARL:
WHY DON’T YOU COME WITH ME, LITTLE GIRL
ON A MAGIC CARPET RIDE
EARL, DOOK, & MITZI:
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT
WE CAN SEE
EARL:
WHY DON’T YOU TELL YOUR DREAMS TO ME
FANTASY WILL SET YOU FREE
CLOSE YOUR EYES, GIRL
LOOK INSIDE, GIRL
LET THE SOUND TAKE YOU AWAY
(EARL cackles.)
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)
ALL:
ROLL UP
ROLL UP
ROLL UP
ROLL UP
ROLL UP
(AND WE ARE BACK TO:)
NO. 1: MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR
MITZI:
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ALL:
COMING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
BILLY BOB:
THE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR IS DYING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
ALL:
DYING TO TAKE YOU AWAY
TAKE YOU TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
FATZ:
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
TODAY
Hm.
(MITZI giggles.)
END.
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Footnotes:
*Rolfe and Earl's curtain periodically opens and closes throughout the performance. This means the "ALL" section includes mainly the center and right stages but has been labeled as such to make the formatting less cluttered.
**There are some lyrical mishaps throughout this medley that have been transcribed based on what is recorded in the tape rather than the lyrics of the original song. It can be assumed here, based on the echoed response from the others and the original lyrics, that Earl was supposed to sing "hoping" instead of "waiting". There are also several incorrect lyrics in the Black Magic Woman section of the medley.
----------
Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#fatz geronimo#dook larue#mitzi mozzarella#beach bear#billy bob brockali#looney bird#rolfe dewolfe#earl schmerle#transcript
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 6: "Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)" Transcript
Note: Up next, we have segment six of Magic Night, with a brief skit about the necessity of ambience and Mitzi's cover of Magic from the 1980 film, Xanadu. At the end of the script, you'll find footnotes and a complete list of links to the rest of the Magic Night transcripts.
As usual, I do my best to make these as accurate as possible, but if you notice any errors, please let me know so I can fix them!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT SIX: AMBIENCE SKIT/MAGIC (FROM XANADU)
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
----------
FATZ: And now, Mitzi’s gonna do a little magic as she puts a spell on us with her enchanting rendition of the song Magic by Olivia Newton-John.
BEACH BEAR: Don’t you think that’s carrying this magic thing a little bit too far?
FATZ: I’m just trying to set a little mood here, Beach Bear. You know, create a little ambience.
MITZI: Ambience?
FATZ: That’s right.
MITZI: What- What’s- What does that mean?
FATZ: You know, ambience! That’s, uh, like when a place has a certain, you know, uh, a special kind of thing. They call it “ambience”.
DOOK: Oh, you mean like, uh, a two-for-one special or a buy-one-get-one-free special.
FATZ: No, no, Dook, no, no. Nothing like that. It’s like when a place has a certain atmosphere or something. You know, ambience.
DOOK: Well, how do they get it?
FATZ: I don’t know. I guess, uh. I suppose there’s a place that sells it or something. I guess you could look up in the yellow pages and find some people that might even deliver it.
DOOK: Oh.
FATZ: I don’t know. I’d have to check on that. Anyway, uh, let’s go ahead and sing this little song, here, Mitzi. Afterwards, we’ll call up, see if we can get some takeout ambience. How’s that sound?
MITZI: Boy, I hope so. I’m starved!
[SONG: MAGIC (ORIGINALLY FROM XANADU)]
MITZI:
COME TAKE MY HAND
YOU SHOULD KNOW ME
I’VE ALWAYS BEEN IN YOUR MIND
KNOW I WILL BE KIND
I’LL BE GUIDING YOU
BUILDING YOUR DREAM
HAS TO START NOW
THERE’S NO OTHER ROAD TO TAKE
YOU WON’T MAKE A MISTAKE
I’LL BE GUIDING YOU
ALL*:
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC
NOTHING CAN STAND IN OUR WAY
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC
DON’T LET YOUR AIM EVER STRAY
AND IF ALL YOUR HOPES SURVIVE
DESTINY WILL ARRIVE
I’LL BRING ALL YOUR DREAMS ALIVE
MITZI:
FOR YOU
ALL:
BRING ALL YOUR DREAMS ALIVE
MITZI:
FOR YOU
FROM WHERE I STAND
YOU ARE HOME FREE
THE PLANETS ALIGN SO RARE
THERE’S PROMISE IN THE AIR
AND I’M GUIDING YOU
THROUGH EVERY TURN
I’LL BE NEAR YOU
I’LL COME ANYTIME YOU CALL
CATCH YOU WHEN YOU FALL
I’LL BE GUIDING YOU
ALL:
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC
NOTHING CAN STAND IN OUR WAY
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC
DON’T LET YOUR AIM EVER STRAY
AND IF ALL YOUR HOPES SURVIVE
DESTINY WILL ARRIVE
I’LL BRING ALL YOUR DREAMS ALIVE
MITZI:
FOR YOU
ALL:
BRING ALL YOUR DREAMS ALIVE
MITZI:
FOR YOU
(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK.)
ALL:
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC
NOTHING CAN STAND IN OUR WAY
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WE ARE MAGIC
DON’T LET YOUR AIM EVER STRAY
AND IF ALL YOUR HOPES SURVIVE
DESTINY WILL ARRIVE
I’LL BRING ALL YOUR DREAMS ALIVE
MITZI:
FOR YOU
ALL:
BRING ALL YOUR DREAMS ALIVE
MITZI:
FOR YOU
END.
----------
Footnotes:
*“ALL” includes Dook, Beach Bear, and Fatz backing up Mitzi, who remains on lead vocals throughout the entire number.
----------
Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#fatz geronimo#beach bear#mitzi mozzarella#dook larue#transcript
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Segment 3: "Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows" Transcript
Note: And right back on track, we have segment three of Magic Night, featuring the very first Letters to Looney Bird segment and Billy Bob and Looney Bird's cover of Little Arrows. If you missed out on the first few segments, you can find links to them all at the end of the script.
Some extra stutters and stammers have been omitted for clarity's sake.
Of course, if you notice any mistakes, please feel free to let me know and I'll correct them ASAP!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
SEGMENT THREE: LETTERS TO LOONEY BIRD #1/LITTLE ARROWS
Featuring:
Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob Brockali and Looney Bird
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BILLY BOB: Hi, everybody! I hope you’re all enjoying the show tonight. And you know it’s our magic show night. That’s where everything we’re doing has something to do with magic. But before we go on, it’s time for our new segment here at Showbiz. It’s called: Letters to Looney Bird! And that’s where he’s gonna answer all kinds of questions that you all send in about us here at Showbiz. So, without further delay, here’s Looney Bird!
LOONEY BIRD: Thanks, Billy Bob, for that great introduction! Now, it’s time for Letters to Looney Bird. So, here we go! Music, please.
(Synth music mimicking an incoming report on the news begins underscoring LOONEY BIRD’s dialogue. The sound of a typewriter can also be heard clicking away in the background.)
LOONEY BIRD (Cont.): And now, Showbiz Pizza Place proudly presents: Letters to Looney Bird, an in-depth look at characters, places… and… even some other characters, here at Showbiz Pizza Place. Your host for today is none other than me, the world-renowned and also very famous Looney Bird! Respected throughout the world for my achievements in journalistic reporting and, uh, other stuff. So, please, stop the music!
(Both the music and the typewriter sound effect stop.)
LOONEY BIRD (Cont.): Thank you. Our first letter is from seven-year-old Will Forester of Memphis, Tennessee. And Will writes: “Dear Looney Bird, how are you? I am fine. Thank you for reading my letter. Here is my question. It’s for Billy Bob. How come when he walks around, he wears shoes, but when he’s onstage, he doesn’t? Please explain this to me. I want to know very much. Love, Will.” Well, Billy Bob, got an answer for that one?
BILLY BOB: Hmm. Well, first I’d like to say to Will that that’s a very good question! And I can tell that he must be a very observant young man. A lot of people would never have noticed that I don’t wear shoes onstage and that I do when I’m walking around. Well, the reason for that is, that I like to go barefooted when I’m singing, you know, because you can see how long my toenails are and when I’m not wearing shoes, they help keep me from falling off the stage. And when I’m walking around Showbiz, I wear shoes because it’s the polite thing to do when people are eating. I hope this answers your question alright!
LOONEY BIRD: Thanks, Billy Bob! That was great! Hey, I never knew that thing about the shoes. I guess you learn something new every day. Well, that’s it for this segment of Letters to Looney Bird. So, uh, thanks Will, and remember to keep those questions coming! ... How was that? Did I do okay?
BILLY BOB: You did just great, Looney Bird. And now, how ‘bout our song?
LOONEY BIRD: Yeah, okay, great! What is it?
BILLY BOB: Little Arrows.
LOONEY BIRD: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Billy Bob, we can’t do Little Arrows.
BILLY BOB: How come, Looney Bird?
LOONEY BIRD: Well, because that’s- that’s not a song- that’s not about magic. You know, it’s gotta be something about magic. The manager said so. Only magic songs tonight, and that’s it.
BILLY BOB: Well, Looney Bird, it’s a song about love and that tingly little magical feeling you get inside, you know, when you fall in love. That feeling where you just don’t wanna be away from your sweetheart. You know, it feels like magic and it’s better than magic. What do you think? Can we bend the rules this one time?
(LOONEY BIRD considers this for a moment.)
LOONEY BIRD: Nope. Uh-uh. Nope. No way.
BILLY BOB: Well, uh. Do you ever wanna do another segment of Looney Bird’s Letters? Uh, or, whatever you called it?
(LOONEY BIRD considers this, too. His voice echoes as he delves into his barrel.)
LOONEY BIRD: Uh. Yeah. Down here at the bottom of this memorandum from the manager, it says…
(His voice returns to normal as he comes out of his barrel.)
LOONEY BIRD (Cont.): “P.S. Billy Bob can do Little Arrows if he wants to.”
(BILLY BOB snickers to himself, satisfied.)
BILLY BOB: I thought so.
[SONG: LITTLE ARROWS (ORIGINALLY BY LEAPY LEE)]
BILLY BOB:
THERE’S A BOY
A LITTLE BOY
SHOOTING ARROWS IN THE BLUE
AND HE’S AIMING THEM AT SOMEONE
BUT THE QUESTION IS AT WHO
IS IT ME
OR IS IT YOU
IT’S HARD TO TELL UNTIL YOU’RE HIT
BUT YOU’LL KNOW IT WHEN THEY HIT YOU
‘CAUSE THEY HURT A LITTLE BIT
HERE THEY COME POURING OUT OF THE BLUE
LITTLE ARROWS FOR ME AND FOR YOU
LOONEY BIRD:
YOU’RE FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
BILLY BOB:
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR CLOTHING
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR HAIR
WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE YOU’LL FIND THOSE LITTLE ARROWS EVERYWHERE
LITTLE ARROWS THAT WILL HIT YOU ONCE
AND HIT YOU ONCE AGAIN
LITTLE ARROWS THAT HIT EVERYBODY
EVERY NOW AND THEN
BILLY BOB & LOONEY BIRD:
OH, OH, OH
THE PAIN
BILLY BOB:
WELL, SOME FOLKS RUN
OTHERS HIDE
BUT THERE AIN’T NOTHING THEY CAN DO
AND SOME FOLKS PUT ON ARMOR
BUT THE ARROWS GO STRAIGHT THROUGH
SO YOU SEE
THERE’S NO ESCAPE
SO WHY NOT FACE IT AND ADMIT
THAT YOU LOVE THOSE LITTLE ARROWS
WHEN THEY HURT A LITTLE BIT
HERE THEY COME POURING OUT OF THE BLUE
LITTLE ARROWS FOR ME AND FOR YOU
LOONEY BIRD:
YOU’RE FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
BILLY BOB:
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR CLOTHING
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR HAIR
WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE YOU’LL FIND THOSE LITTLE ARROWS EVERYWHERE
LITTLE ARROWS THAT WILL HIT YOU ONCE
AND HIT YOU ONCE AGAIN
LITTLE ARROWS THAT HIT EVERYBODY
EVERY NOW AND THEN
HERE THEY COME POURING OUT OF THE BLUE
LITTLE ARROWS FOR ME AND FOR YOU
LOONEY BIRD:
YOU’RE FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN
BILLY BOB:
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR CLOTHING
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR HAIR
WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE YOU’LL FIND THOSE LITTLE ARROWS EVERYWHERE
LITTLE ARROWS THAT WILL HIT YOU ONCE
AND HIT YOU ONCE AGAIN
LITTLE ARROWS THAT HIT EVERYBODY
EVERY NOW AND THEN
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR CLOTHING
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR HAIR
WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE YOU’LL FIND THOSE LITTLE ARROWS EVERYWHERE
LITTLE ARROWS THAT WILL HIT YOU ONCE
AND HIT YOU ONCE AGAIN
LITTLE ARROWS THAT HIT EVERYBODY
EVERY NOW AND THEN
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR CLOTHING
LITTLE ARROWS IN YOUR HAIR
WHEN YOU’RE IN LOVE YOU’LL FIND THOSE LITTLE ARROWS EVERYWHERE
END.
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Check out the rest of Magic Night!:
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
The Magic Touch (Outtake)
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#billy bob brockali#looney bird#transcript
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Showbiz Pizza Magic Night (1984), Outtake: "The Magic Touch" Transcript
Note: Of course, I couldn't leave out the outtake from Magic Night, which features a small skit of the band, as per usual, bickering with each other, and a Dook cover, which is, also as per usual, absolutely lovely. At the end of the script, you can find links to the rest of the Magic Night transcripts.
And as per usual, if I've made any mistakes, feel free to send me any corrections!
MAGIC NIGHT 1984
OUTTAKE: THE MAGIC TOUCH
Featuring:
Burt "Sal" Wilson as Fatz Geronimo
Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue
Rick Bailey as Beach Bear
Shalisa Sloan as Mitzi Mozzarella
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FATZ: Okay, folks, and now Dook’s gonna sing a song by The Platters called The Magic Touch. Now, I’m not trying to step on anybody’s toes here or nothing, but personally, I feel that I should be singing this song and not Dook. But, since I’m not the one to deal with petty grudges and stuff, I’ll turn the floor over to the man behind the drums.
DOOK: Hey, Fatz, what’chu mean that you are the one oughta be singing this song?
FATZ: Well, it’s just obvious to me, Dook, that I have the magic touch and I should be singing this song.
DOOK: Shoot, man, what’chu talking about? They don’t call me “Nimble Fingers” for nothing.
(FATZ laughs.)
DOOK (Cont.): In fact, just last week, I had these hands insured for a thousand bucks.
FATZ: Aw, man, that ain’t nothing! The other day, the president of the United States wrote me a letter saying he wanted a picture of my hands to hang in the Oval Office.
BEACH BEAR: I can beat that. My hands and my pretty face were photographed for the cover of Newsweek, Time, Life, Rolling Stone, and a bunch of other magazines. Top that.
FATZ: Wow. Uh. Hm.
MITZI: Well, I won double-up bingo at Winn Dixie.
(FATZ cackles.)
FATZ: Yeah, Mitzi, you’ve definitely got the magic touch.
[SONG: THE MAGIC TOUCH (ORIGINALLY BY THE PLATTERS)]
DOOK:
YOU’VE GOT THE MAGIC TOUCH
IT MAKES ME GLOW SO MUCH
IT CASTS A SPELL
IT RINGS A BELL
THE MAGIC TOUCH
OH, WHEN I FEEL YOUR CHARM
IT’S LIKE A FOURTH ALARM
YOU MAKE ME THRILL SO MUCH
YOU’VE GOT THE MAGIC TOUCH
HERE I GO REELING
OH, OH
I’M FEELING THE GLOW
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
OH, OH
DOOK:
BUT WHERE CAN I GO FROM YOU
I DIDN’T KNOW TOO MUCH
AND THEN I FELT YOUR TOUCH
AND NOW I’VE LEARNED
I CAN RETURN
THE MAGIC TOUCH
HERE I GO REELING
OH, OH
I’M FEELING THE GLOW
FATZ, BEACH BEAR, & MITZI:
OH, OH
DOOK:
BUT WHERE CAN I GO FROM YOU
I DIDN’T KNOW TOO MUCH
AND THEN I FELT YOUR TOUCH
AND NOW I’VE LEARNED
I CAN RETURN
THE MAGIC TOUCH
END.
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Check out the rest of Magic Night!
Magic Night Intro/Magic Medley
Fatz's Witch Story/That Old Black Magic
Letters to Looney Bird #1/Little Arrows
Abracadabra Medley Intro/Abracadabra Medley
Multiple Voice Syndrome/Puff the Magic Dragon
Ambience Skit/Magic (from Xanadu)
Letters to Looney Bird #2/Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Michael Jackson Intro/Michael Jackson Tribute
#rock afire transcription#rock afire explosion#showbiz pizza#magic night#rock afire explosion magic night#fatz geronimo#dook larue#beach bear#mitzi mozzarella#transcript
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Introductory Post!
Hello, fellow Rock-afire and Showbiz Pizza fans, and welcome to the opening of my official Showbiz blog. My name is Duke (they/them), and I'm a 21-year-old animatronics enthusiast who's been a MASSIVE fan of the Rock-afire Explosion and other Creative Engineering works since I was about 11-12. I'm not a huge CEC fanatic, but I still plan to include it in my posting from time to time.
I made this blog to streamline my Showbiz Pizza posting, but if you want to follow my main, it's @antiquarianandunusual. :)
In my daily life, I'm a senior in college pursuing a BA in theatre performance. Acting is my first love and takes up a lot of time during the school year, so please forgive me if posting slows down come August! I'm hoping to get my creative motivation up over the summer, though, so keep an eye out for projects I do end up finishing and sharing (tags for which are found below!).
One more important thing to note: PROSHIPPERS AND MAPS/NOMAPS DNI! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. THIS IS NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR YOU.
Other than that, if you have any questions or just want to pop by and say hello, please don't hesitate to do so! My DMs are only open to 18+ friends, but my ask box is always open to everyone.
-Duke
Tags:
#rock afire transcription: I've been working on transcribing Rock-afire Explosion show tapes! They'll be broken down by tape and posted by segment for convenience, but you'll be able to find all of them under this tag. This is 100% a passion project I'm doing in my free time and isn't being done in any particular order (but once I start a tape, I usually finish all segments before moving on), so they'll be coming out gradually. But if there's a specific skit/song you want transcribed, please let me know and I'll try to get to it as soon as possible!
#duke's doodles: I'm known to draw from time-to-time, and those drawings will be posted under this tag.
#duke's writings: Rock-afire Explosion writings! All of these will also be posted on AO3.
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rock-afire explosion -charic genders! part 1 of 2
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
brockalicharic
when your gender is connected to billy-bob brockali from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to him, or that he is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are dark brown, orange, white, yellow, and red. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
mitzicharic
when your gender is connected to mitzi mozzarella from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to her, or that she is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are grey, pale flesh toned, white, blonde, and green. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
fatzcharic
when your gender is connected to fatz geronimo from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to him, or that he is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are black, dark grey, white, mustard yellow, and dark red. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
laruecharic
when your gender is connected to dook larue from the rock-afire explosion! this can feel like your gender is related to him, or that he is your gender.
[image ID: a flag with five equally-sized horizontal stripes. the stripes, from top to bottom, are brown, tan, white, yellow, and dark grey. end ID]
🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓
all flag colors are colors present on the characters!
[DNI transcript: anti-anti/proship, transmed/truscum/terf/gender crit, anti mogai, 'anti endo', exclusionist or supporter do not interact]
(i cannot prevent anyone from using my terms, but i'd prefer if people on this list did not directly interact with my blog or my posts. thank you for respecting my boundaries!)
#mogai#mogai coining#ezgender#xenogender#xenogender friendly#mogai flag#charic#fictigender#gender#mogai safe#gender label#microlabel#mogai term#xenogender flag#mogai identity#mogai heaven#mogai pride
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