#saying this while watching 1x06 aka the ep where shaunatai became everything to each other. where they understand each other

[lingeringscars]

there is something very, very specific about the way shauna & nat understand each other. they've both done things that led to tragedy and because of that....things need to be worth it. shauna slept with jeff and jackie died over it (among other things). javi died in nat's place. shauna marries jeff because jackie dying needs to mean something so she'll mold herself into what jackie would have been. she doesn't get to move on. she stays right there where jackie is. nat and travis make a pact because javi dying has to be worth it. they keep falling back to each other because no one gets it like they do. travis asked for javi's help to save nat. javi screamed for nat's help to save him. nat let him die. that has to mean something. jackie dies and that has to be worth something.

they live while the people around them don't. they do the tasks no one wants, no one is grateful for, and they take the responsibility and the blame. they shoulder that shame. they get it.

do you still know how to do this?

she stared you in the eye and was going to pull the knife.

#cj don't come for me #saying this while watching 1x06 aka the ep where shaunatai became everything to each other. where they understand each other #in a way no one else can #but god shaunanat too #the way they're so linked in os many ways #the jealousy in the teen timeline but also the implicit understanding of bearing the weight no one else wants #nat who treks through the woods every day and takes the blame when nothing comes from it #shauna who does the cutting and no one bats an eye #adult shaunanat in 1x06 prove my theory that they hooked up after rescue probably but couldn't escape the jeff and travis of it all #bc of jackie and javi #in this essay i---- #two sides of the same coin shit #muse: nat scatorccio #muse: shauna shipman #dyn: shauna x natalie