#dyn: shauna x natalie

[lingeringscars]

anyway switching back to yj for a min. shauna kills adam because she truly believes he is the blackmailer and was using him and that she was in danger in that moment from him. she frames him to protect jeff. she lies to tai (because that one is a personal betrayal) and nat about what happened, about most things, and nat focuses on how she won't get answers for travis now because she's convinced herself the blackmailer and travis' killer are one and the same.

the conversation that nat and shauna have in the bathroom is one of the most honest shauna has had in an extremely long time, and i think that really resonates with nat. nat was the one that called out tai and shauna for hiding behind their "perfect" lives and pretending like they aren't as messed up as her. then shauna discloses her own secret about how she views the world, the emptiness she feels, connecting herself to travis (a different post is needed for me to discuss everything i feel about shauna travis thanks) and in turn nat, because they understand each other so well.

they both have these thankless roles in the wilderness. nat gets blamed for not bringing back enough meat, and shauna is the one tasked with rations and portion control and later with literally cutting up their friends. nat takes on the role of queen, which could be seen as thanks except it's a role she also never asked for and responsibility that was placed on her. they both lost their purpose after the wilderness, and they understand each other in a way no one else really can.

and so when shauna tells nat that she feels the same way nat has, and the way she assumed travis did, nat actually listens. nat hears shauna say travis might have given up, hears shauna say that she needs to forgive both travis and herself for this action and not being able to save him, and while nat is unable to do that, she does come to terms with the act itself. travis was not connected to the blackmailer; shauna knew this. shauna can't tell nat how she knows this, but she can give her some relief, if blunt advice. it's a story about love!!!!

#inspired by conversations with cj that have nothing to do with this #muse: shauna shipman #meta: shauna shipman #muse: nat scatorccio #meta: nat scatorccio #dyn: shauna x natalie #this is all over the fucking place bc i always have so many feelings about them #yellowjackets #yellowjackets tw #do you get it. do you understand. it's about love. they are about love. #me and the three people who understand shaunanat are holding hands

[lingeringscars]

there is something very, very specific about the way shauna & nat understand each other. they've both done things that led to tragedy and because of that....things need to be worth it. shauna slept with jeff and jackie died over it (among other things). javi died in nat's place. shauna marries jeff because jackie dying needs to mean something so she'll mold herself into what jackie would have been. she doesn't get to move on. she stays right there where jackie is. nat and travis make a pact because javi dying has to be worth it. they keep falling back to each other because no one gets it like they do. travis asked for javi's help to save nat. javi screamed for nat's help to save him. nat let him die. that has to mean something. jackie dies and that has to be worth something.

they live while the people around them don't. they do the tasks no one wants, no one is grateful for, and they take the responsibility and the blame. they shoulder that shame. they get it.

do you still know how to do this?

she stared you in the eye and was going to pull the knife.

#cj don't come for me #saying this while watching 1x06 aka the ep where shaunatai became everything to each other. where they understand each other #in a way no one else can #but god shaunanat too #the way they're so linked in os many ways #the jealousy in the teen timeline but also the implicit understanding of bearing the weight no one else wants #nat who treks through the woods every day and takes the blame when nothing comes from it #shauna who does the cutting and no one bats an eye #adult shaunanat in 1x06 prove my theory that they hooked up after rescue probably but couldn't escape the jeff and travis of it all #bc of jackie and javi #in this essay i---- #two sides of the same coin shit #muse: nat scatorccio #muse: shauna shipman #dyn: shauna x natalie

[lingeringscars]

Ignore him, shauna. Women have been having babies for millions of years. You're gonna be fine. Akilah's got this.

#nat CRYING #muse: nat scatorccio #meta: nat scatorccio #dyn: nat x akilah #dyn: shauna x natalie #pregnancy tw

[lingeringscars]

Just thinking about how shauna has absolutely no reaction to Jeff saying that they're okay and it all worked out re Adam. I don't think she has any idea what he is talking about because it's not okay. Nothing is okay because Natalie is dead.

#muse: shauna shipman #meta: shauna shipman #she literally does not give a single fuck about that rn #dyn: shauna x natalie

[lingeringscars]

I'm really just thinking about how nat was an outcast and was also the only one still standing against the wilderness until she needed the cop out re javi. Nat was not the chosen leader but was anointed by lottie, and now she has this sense of pride and accomplishment and is fitting in and is seen.

While shauna has also always felt invisible and on the outside because she was only in the circle because of jackie. And jackie never saw her just wanted her to be what jackie wanted. But she started to find herself in the wilderness and fit in and she belongs. She has value. She has a skill. And she's the only one doing it. The one carrying this heavy load. So of course she thinks it should be her and she should be chosen but she ISNT.

#yes im still thinking about them #every yj char is a char of all time #muse: shauna shipman #muse: nat scatorccio #meta: shauna shipman #meta: nat scatorccio #dyn: shauna x natalie #yj spoilers #yellowjackets spoilers #heavy is the head

[lingeringscars]

I think it was decided on that if shauna picks the queen, nat would be the one to take over.

#the butcher and the hunter #anyway nat is so relieved when it wasn't shauna #in case anyone forgot where my life is #meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #meta: nat scatorccio #muse: nat scatorccio #dyn: shauna x natalie #yellowjackets tw #yellowjackets

[lingeringscars]

Lisa putting nat in charge of the innocent fish that she thinks she'll kill

Lottie putting shauna in charge of the innocent goat that she thinks she'll kill

#do you see my agenda do you see it. #meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #meta: nat scatorccio #muse: nat scatorccio #dyn: shauna x natalie

[lingeringscars]

Shauna marrying Jeff because jackie dying over this had to be worth it. Travis and nat clinging to each other even when they were terrible for each other because javi dying had to be worth it.

#i am connecting the dots #on adult nat and shauna first scene together <3 #meta: nat scatorccio #muse: nat scatorccio #meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #dyn: shauna x natalie

[lingeringscars]

Nat, I know what it's like. The numbness, the the paranoia. Sometimes I look at the world around me and it's like all the light has just gone out of it. Maybe travis just couldn't stand to live like that anymore. And maybe you need to start trying to forgive him.

#I'm unwell #suicidal thoughts tw #suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw #muse: nat scatorccio #meta: nat scatorccio #meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #dyn: shauna x natalie #dyn: shauna x travis #dyn: nat x travis

[lingeringscars]

I talk about this literally every time I watch this scene. But they make a point of showing tais reaction to van pulling the jack, and then Shauna is the next to pick and we see Nats visible relief. Travis pulls right after and it goes to nat and javi.

#shau/nanat is REAL #literally exhaled breath of relief #not! subtle! #muse: nat scatorccio #muse: shauna shipman #meta: nat scatorccio #meta: shauna shipman #dyn: shauna x natalie #it's! about! love!

[lingeringscars]

SHAUNA HAD STARTED TO MOVE TOWARDS MISTY NAT AND LISA. BYE.

#shoving my entire fist in my mouth i love watching scenes 47482 times to look at the background #meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #dyn: shauna x natalie

[lingeringscars]

Shauna taking care of nat after she went headfirst into the water. Shauna being so gentle with her and helping her. Shauna telling everyone to wait while javi was drowning. Shauna taking care of javi after :(

#meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #god im fucked up :((( #the difference between the two #dyn: shauna x natalie #dyn: shauna x javi