#shed call me a liar or satanic because i self harmed

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just accidentally brought back a bunch of memories of stuff my mom used to say to me :')

#she said she wished id never been born. like girl that was on you not me #along with 'i could just get rid of you' as a threat multiple times #i thought she meant sending me to foster care but now... im not entirely sure she didnt mean unaliving me #she also used to threaten to cut off my thumb #i would say it was an empty threat but shed pull out the knives or scissors sooo maybe not #she would frequently ask what was wrong with me #call me ungrateful or a brat #remind me of all the things that she did for me and how much worse it could be #its hard to remember the stuff she said #idk it probably doesn't sound that bad but it seriously messed me up #she used to scream at me until i cried #shed call me a liar or satanic because i self harmed #god and im still not sure what rumors she spread about it but she definitely told people something #i would say she said something untrue but honestly idk. it could have been something i did actually do but phrased badly idk #i never got to find out #once the first person confronted me about it i had a mental breakdown because i didnt know what was going on and no one would explain #but clearly it was something bad because of how confrontational they were being #actually that wasnt even the first person kind to think of it #god im like shakinv just recalling it #she also called me selfish a lot #oh yeah she said she didnt care if i starved to death one time #which i mean. she clearly didnt care if i died but whatever #neither did I really #i want to remember everything but i can't :(