#i would say she said something untrue but honestly idk. it could have been something i did actually do but phrased badly idk

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just accidentally brought back a bunch of memories of stuff my mom used to say to me :')

#she said she wished id never been born. like girl that was on you not me #along with 'i could just get rid of you' as a threat multiple times #i thought she meant sending me to foster care but now... im not entirely sure she didnt mean unaliving me #she also used to threaten to cut off my thumb #i would say it was an empty threat but shed pull out the knives or scissors sooo maybe not #she would frequently ask what was wrong with me #call me ungrateful or a brat #remind me of all the things that she did for me and how much worse it could be #its hard to remember the stuff she said #idk it probably doesn't sound that bad but it seriously messed me up #she used to scream at me until i cried #shed call me a liar or satanic because i self harmed #god and im still not sure what rumors she spread about it but she definitely told people something #i would say she said something untrue but honestly idk. it could have been something i did actually do but phrased badly idk #i never got to find out #once the first person confronted me about it i had a mental breakdown because i didnt know what was going on and no one would explain #but clearly it was something bad because of how confrontational they were being #actually that wasnt even the first person kind to think of it #god im like shakinv just recalling it #she also called me selfish a lot #oh yeah she said she didnt care if i starved to death one time #which i mean. she clearly didnt care if i died but whatever #neither did I really #i want to remember everything but i can't :(

[ambymyself]

after thought

june 28, 2022

7:23p

WOW I TOOK ANOTHER BREAK! cool. nothing new in my life! just more thoughts and realizations. i’m not sure if what i think is true but it makes sense and it’s hard trying to come to terms with it all. i feel like these thoughts are completely untrue but for some reason they are cutting deep into my soul because why else would i be feeling the way i do?

i guess i’ll start off with the first bit of gossip i got this month. i was talking to my cousin joking about not being hugged by my mom growing up and they told me that my mom thinks i hate her. huh!!! i was like “the hell???” because i honestly thought it was the other way around. my cousin said that one time when they were drinking, my mom told her that i hate her (my mom). cousin took it all like a joke, but to me, it kinda hurt. it made me realize a lot of things. my mom thinks i hate her? if i did, i wonder what her reasoning is. during the time i was told this, my mom was in her no-talk-to-me phase again. i went like two or three weeks without ACTUALLY seeing her except for when she dropped something off at my house and what not. we weren’t texting much either, so it was almost like i had no mom. of course, i was upset and i told people i trust about it, but i didn’t really get any feedback or advice so i just dealt with it on my own. maybe i was trauma spilling again but idk. so after learning about all of this, the thought has just been sitting in my mind ever since. did i do anything to prove or say i didn’t hate my mom? no. instead, like always, i let it beat me and sucked it up until i forgot or stopped worrying about it. 

now i don’t know when, but this idea that i didn’t like my mom switched. i thought about it for a long time while at work, and realized MAYBE SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME ???? that sounds insane. but it makes sense when i dig deeper into it!!!! now why wouldn’t she like me? oh idk. maybe because i’m a failure academically. i don’t really do anything and have very little to offer to my family. so if someone needs help with something, i’m the very last resort. in fact, i’ve always been this way. just an after thought.

i was never her priority anyway, one of her own children. even growing up, i was never seen. she was never interested in anything i did. she never engaged with activities i enjoyed doing, like drawing or playing games. i remember one time when i was like 14 i took a picture of her on my phone and she got mad and told me to delete it. i was ashamed of that and i didn’t even know why. i always felt like a burden to her. even though she cared about my health and kept me fed/clothed, she couldn’t care less about me as a person. if i was never her responsibility, she would toss me aside with no hesitation. no wonder why i suffer from anxiety and depression. this really hurts. 

[a few days later note: she doesn’t have pictures of me or my brother growing up anymore! idk where they are but she didn’t care enough to keep them. when i go to her house, her walls are covered in pictures of her and stepdad and OTHER peoples’ kids. every time i bring it up they think i’m joking but hahah no!!! ok bye]

then i started thinking more into it, and thought that maybe no one in my family actually likes me. it just gets worse, doesn’t it? i can tell you right now that if i suddenly disappeared, my family would not have a hard time moving on. you wouldn’t lose much if you lost me, right? this doesn’t make sense, but it does make sense. no one has to say it because it’s awful, but i feel it and that speaks volumes compared to words. at every family gathering, i just feel like a stranger. no one enjoys talking to me, they act like i’m not there. i could simply walk out and no one would notice. i go to these dinners hungry for food and happiness from spending time with family, just to come home starving after losing my appetite and feeling crushed and demoralized. even today i went to go see them at daycare, and it was like i wasn’t there. i came home upset asking myself why did i do that to myself?

this brings me to my next point: birthdays. especially my birthdays. for the past 5 years or so, my birthdays fucking sucked. they haven’t felt like a birthday for me. now that i think about it, were they ever? when there was a dinner, i feel like people only showed up to eat. everyone stopped getting me gifts when i was like 13, and i only received money, maybe. i can remember getting money from only from my grandma and uncle. so i was just there, on my birthday, everybody else talking to each other while i just sat and waited for them to leave so i could go back to the ordinary day in which i was born. i stopped trying to do stuff for my birthdays when i was like 15 because everyone was always picky about what to do. i wanted to go to a trampoline park one time and everybody was crabby that day so i felt bad on my day because they weren’t happy. my mom then started planning big trips for her and stepdad on my birthday and bringing me along with them. florida and new mexico sound like fun places for a birthday, right? no! not when you are in the backseat doing whatever THEY want. this past birthday i just simply wanted to go see a movie i’ve been waiting to see, and they were so burdened by it. i was almost gonna just get dropped off at the movie theater to see it alone, that’s how bad it got. i don’t think i ever want to celebrate my birthday again, because my birthdays were never for me. i am nothing more than an after thought. no one really likes me. (i bet if they saw this right now they would be offended, despite it being true.)

i think this idea was lingering during the new mexico trip and i hadn’t realized yet. it makes sense now. nobody ever comes over to my house, or texts me asking me about my day. i’m easily accessible and always available to do stuff, yet..... no one even bothers. for my brother’s birthday they all went bowling and i had no idea. i had to find out through snap map and saw my family’s icons there while i was at home. they probably thought i was asleep but they could have called.... but they didn’t. the only one who calls me is my grandma, and when i lose her i will be even more alone. 

so that’s what has been eating me alive through the weeks. even though i don’t offer much, i still deserve love and attention. i’m still a person. if i said anything about what i’m thinking, they could easily say they love me. it’s so easy to tell someone you love them but it hurts when you don’t feel it. it’s like they say it because it is expected. now i know my place in this family, and i will just keep doing what i do and try to find what i need someplace else. i only had me then, and i only have me now.

[i-simp-for-gintoki]

Sanji and Ace meeting fem!s/o’s parents for the first time

I accidentally deleted the request like the idiot i am, so basically it was “Ace and Sanji meeting their fem!s/o’s parents for the first time, but the s/o gets upset at an embarrasing/mean thing the parents said towards her boyfriend(s)”

Sorry for the long wait! Time flew by way faster than i thought it would and i really struggled with this lmao. Hope this is to your liking! If not just let me know and i’ll do my best to fix it!

I didn’t rlly know how to end these im sorry, um i made sanji’s more angsty than needed because i just did but oh well

Warnings: like one swear word, your dad is kinda a dick and disapproving of your relationship in sanji’s

Portgas D. Ace

He would not dress up, instead simply putting on an unbuttoned shirt instead of remaining shirtless

He might- might take off the hat but thats only if you REALLY want him too

I think he would be pretty relaxed about meeting your parents

You on the other hand was not

I mean dont get me wrong Ace is a sweetheart and all, but he also can be pretty gross without meaning too

You two were planning on heading to your parent’s house so Ace could finally meet them, so in the meantime you told him to keep a few promises

“No using anyones clothing as napkins, finish chewing before talking, and if they say something that annoys you please don’t fight them.”

He’d give you a thumbs up and a smile as he said he’d keep the promise

So here you guys are, in front of where your parents lived

Knocking on the door, it only took a few seconds for them to show up

As Ace introduced himself he bowed and had a bright smile

Your parents smiled back and let you two in

So far so good

All of you were just relaxing in the living room, your parents sat across from where you and Ace sat

Your parents listened as Ace told a bunch of stories about his life, it mainly consisted of the trouble he’d get in with his brothers or how he met and fell in love with you but he was having fun sharing them

Your parents seemed to be enjoying his company and that made you happy

After talking for a while your mother decided to make a quick meal for everyone in which Ace asked if he could help a bit

Your dad decided to put him in charge of setting the table

He had almost dropped a plate in the process but he got it done and wore a proud smile

It wasn’t long until you guys began to ate and you could tell Ace was definitely holding back from how he usually acted

“Whats the point of forks when i can grab it so much faster using my hands?” he mumbled to no one in particular

What really surprised you was that he made sure to properly chew his food before speaking

You were really happy that he was keeping his word but sadly all good things come to an end

“Wow! Mrs.L/n your food is really--”

THUNK

He passed out.

He passed out face first into his plate and your parents could only stare

You could only sigh as you tilted his face so he doesn’t manage to suffocate

“Oh my, is he okay?” your mom asked in a worried tone and you nodded your head

“Ah yeah he’s fine. Hes a narcoleptic thats all. He’ll wake up any moment”

And not even a few seconds later, Ace straightened up and continued eating like nothing even happened

Your mother laughed

“Oh wow! He reminds me of a baby!”

“Mom!”

He rose a brow at the two of you, unaware of what you were talking about, food still smeared onto his face

You clicked your tongue and grabbed a napkin before wiping his face

“See he is like a little kid” she repeated and you rolled your eyes in response

Ace’s eyes widened a bit as he finally understood what happened

“Did I pass out again?”

“You passed out again.”

He rubbed the back of his head and gave an apology to your mom who in return laughed loudly

“Oh no worries dear, when y/n was younger she would pull countless all nighters and end up doing the same thing”

“Mooom stop it”

“Oh shush this is all light hearted fun”

As your dad started a separate conversation, Ace grabbed your hand under the table and smiled

He was having fun, even if you guys were being teased

Vinsmoke Sanji

Idk how i feel about this one rip

He was a bit nervous yet excited

He couldn't wait to meet the people who raised you, but he was worried if they wouldn’t like him

He chose to wear one of his best suits and cologne despite your protests

“Sanji its just my parents, you don’t need to be any more fancy than usual” “Nonsense, i should take it seriously so your parents can see im serious about you.”

He’d insist on making dinner for them

Once your parents arrive he puts on a charming smile and introduces himself

Skip to dinner, Sanji made sure to sit everyone down and serve them

Some nice small talk was made when suddenly one of your parents asks him if Sanji truly loves you

An instant “of course!” was heard from Sanji before he started listing hundreds of things he loves about you

Honestly he said a bit much since he strayed off from personality and perks to more your physical appearance and more

You had to kick his leg under the table to get him to stop

Your dad put his fork down and looked at you

“I don’t want you dating him”

“Can i ask why?” you ask

“Sounds to me your boyfriend is simply a pervert. He’s probably just after your body”

Now this Sanji got upset at but you acted first

“Seriously?? Did you listen to anything he said just now? Yeah he appreciates my looks but he clearly loves me for who i am, do you only hear things that make you upset or something?”

You were hoping it would stop right there but no, of course your dad had to say some more huh

“Isn’t he just some chef anyways? Its not like they make a bunch of money, he’s probably mooching off of you”

You stood up so fast your chair was knocked down

“How dare you say that about Sanji? Hes not just some chef, he’s one of the best out there. That doesn’t even matter actually, good chef, bad chef, he would NEVER mooch off of someone. Using people, especially women is completely against his character! Sanji has been nothing but nice to you tonight, and here you are completely shitting on him!”

You huff and wave your hand, mumbling how you wanted some fresh air before heading outside

It was only a few seconds before Sanji joined you

“How are you doing love?” He’d ask and you’d whirl around and face him in surprise

“How am I doing? Sanji they were saying bad things about you! Im SO sorry about that, my dads usually not that much of an asshole and-anyways, How are you doing??”

He’d chuckle and assure you he’s fine

“I’m not gonna lie, i was pretty upset when he said i was using you for my own gain. But seeing you stand up for me, getting upset for me really warmed my heart.”

He’d give you a hug while slowly rubbing your back

“But what do i do about him not approving? What if he says to break up??” you ask and sanji tilts your chin up towards him

“Who cares? We are all adults here, its not like his disapproval will suddenly stop the love we have for each other.”

You slowly nod at his words and he smiles before giving you a quick kiss

“Now lets head back in and finish dinner” “Oh but its going to be so awkward now”  you complain but you still walk with him back inside

When you guys return to the table, your mother shoves your dads shoulder which made him stand and walk up to Sanji

Before the blond can open his mouth, your dad is already apologizing

“Look, Im sorry about what I said. It was harsh and based on my daughters reaction, clearly untrue. I just dont like to see my kid grow up, much less dating someone. Just promise me one thing, Sanji. Promise me you wont break her heart” he says putting a hand out

Sanji gave him a nod and a firm handshake.

“I promise. I would never be able to live with myself if I did”

#ace x reader #sanji x reader #portgas d ace #vinsmoke sanji #one piece x reader #couldve just had them make fun of sanji's eyebrow or somethin but nooo i had to be dramatic smh #dumpling writes

[ahsbitch]

Something Strange In The Air (Part 2)

Word Count: 2544

Summary: In the aftermath of your...incident with Michael, you’re still tumbling to figure out what you’re doing. 

Warnings: It’s probably bad idk, oral (male receiving), face fucking, degradation, Mean!Michael & Being Mean To Michael, blue balls, waxing poetic, lots of cursing (as always), idk i can’t think of any others 

A/N: Sorry this is really short and sorry it took so long I’m in college so I’ve been busy and I was writing a oneshot for a different fandom which took some time, the next chapter will have more plot to it and stuff I promise, my apologies for shitty writing and being a super slow writer, I’m doing my best I promise. As always, comments (even just in the tags) are always ultra appreciated!!!!!

Mini Tags: @wroteclassicaly @1-666-coven @michaellangdonstanaccount uhhh there are others but i can’t remember if i forgot to tag you i’m sorry pls remind me 

ALSO I PUT IN THE KEEP READING THING BUT IT REFUSES TO WORK SO SORRY ABOUT THAT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was poetry flashing through your mind.

Some say the world will end in fire

Bits and pieces. 

Death, be not proud

You couldn’t get him off your mind. 

Doing a man’s work, though a child at heart 

Couldn’t get your dream off your mind. 

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams 

The way he had looked at you, in it, how he had held your hand.

He kindly stopped for me-

Michael often called you little witch,

Leave my loneliness unbroken 

But he had never called you his little witch, as he had in the dream. 

There will be time to murder and create

He was beautiful, almost angelic in appearance, you had to admit.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

And he pulled you in, in spite of how hard you tried to ignore it

I can no longer remain away from you

It was almost disgusting, how much you thought about him. 

Curse, bless, me now with your tears, I pray

There was something about him that frightened you.

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

A lot about him that frightened you, actually. 

A waking on a morn

“Y/N,” Cordelia spoke, and you could tell from her tone that this wasn’t the first time she’d said your name, “Are you with me?” 

Shit, you’d gotten distracted. 

You’d been called to a meeting in Cordelia’s office, made it to one of the chairs, and immediately spaced out. 

You hadn’t really seen Michael in almost a week, nothing more than passing glimpses in the halls and quick pulses of his energy in the air. You’d been avoiding him. Or maybe he’d been avoiding you. Honestly, you couldn’t remember. You hadn’t spent a single night in your bedroom, instead floating around to parties and going to the swamps to practice your magic rather than spend time in the study room. 

Fuck, things were getting complicated.

“I’m with you,” You smiled cautiously at her, “I’m sorry.” 

She smiled back, something you couldn’t quite determine just behind her eyes. Concern, of course, her whole aura was clearly very concerned, but something else, and then she was speaking, her voice as calm as ever, “Don’t be sorry. Are you feeling okay?” 

Of course not.

“Of course I am!” 

“Try again,” Her hands were folded neatly on her desk, and you dropped your gaze to look at them, Cordelia’s words making you feel a strange sense of shame, “I’m a little worried about you, Y/N.” 

Your ears were burning, your heart jumping wildly in your chest, “I’m sorry.” 

She sighed, shaking her head, “Don’t be sorry. Just... what’s going on with you? What’s going on between you and Michael Langdon?”

Shit.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t been sleeping in your room, or studying in the house,” Cordelia looked at you strangely, and you held your breath, “Have you still been fighting?”

She didn’t know.

Thank fuck. 

“Yes,” You responded, perhaps a little too quickly, “Yes, we have. We just can’t seem to agree on anything.”

Not entirely untrue.

She nodded sympathetically, and you were relieved to feel that she believed that was it, “I’m sorry. I feared something like this might happen. But Y/N, you need to return to your room.You can’t be out every night, and you can’t do all of your studying in the swamps. You’re still a student here. You have to be present, at least sometimes.”

“Okay,” Nodding, you worked on getting your breathing fully back to normal, “I’ll be back in my room tonight.” 

“Good,” Cordelia reached out and squeezed your hand gently, “I’m proud of you, Y/N. You are a powerful witch, and a good woman. I believe in you.” 

Not able to make yourself respond, you simply flashed her a smile and bolted for the door, blinking back tears.

Fuck, she’d bee so disappointed if she knew the truth. 

You were barely out of the office when the door to a closet opened and someone tugged you inside, slamming it shut. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the fuck, Michael?” You snapped, blinking into the darkness. 

Michael’s hand clamped over your mouth as he let out a growl, “Be quiet, little witch.” 

You worked your mouth until you managed to clamp your teeth onto the skin of his palm, biting as hard as you could. 

“Fuck,” He hissed, jerking away from you, “That hurt!”

“Good,” Glaring, you reached for the cord on the light and tugged on it, the weak bulb flickering overhead, “What the fuck?”

Glowering at you in the dim light, Michael crossed his arms, “What did Cordelia want?”

“None of your business.”

“I’m pretty sure it is,” Shaking his head, he scoffed at you, “It was about me, wasn’t it? Does she know?” 

It was childish to play dumb, and you knew that, but you were doing it anyway, “Does she know what? Why would we want to talk about you?” 

It took only a single step for Michael to back you against the wall, pinning you there with his hips, "Don’t even bother with that shit. Answer the fucking question.” 

You shoved at his chest, although even you had to admit that it was a halfhearted push. His proximity, especially after so long away from him, was overwhelming, and you felt your mind slipping to a place you didn’t want it to be, “Get the fuck away from me, asshole.” 

Another shove, and he wrapped his hands around your wrists, holding them over your head, “You weren’t asking me to do that last time we saw each other, were you, little witch? Now. Does Cordelia know?” 

“No,” Growling, you tried in vain to pull your hands back, “We talked about you, but she doesn’t know about that. Now let me go.” 

Tilting his head to the side, Michael laughed at you, “How many times do I have to tell you? You’re not the one in charge here.”

“Fuck you,” You spat, beginning to shake with something between fury and a feeling that you didn’t quite want to acknowledge.

“This is a pretty color,” Michael shifted both of your wrists to one hand and brought the other down to trail across your lips, tapping at the soft flesh, smudging a bit of the golden sheen, “Did you put this on for me?” 

Ever since that day in the study room, not that day but the one before, you had taken to wearing more and more lipstick, coating your lips in a new color everyday. 

Today was gold, one that shimmered when the light hit it, and if you were honest, yes, you did put it on for Michael. Every time you reapplied a coat of lipstick, today and every other, he flashed through your mind, the sneer on his features, the echo of his words in your ear when his fingers were down your throat. 

“You look good like this...Gagging...You wear revealing clothes and you act like you’re doing it for yourself...But really you’re just a dumb, depraved, desperate little whore who wants nothing more than to be dicked down by your rival.” 

Fuck, just thinking about it sent a wave of wetness gushing through you, and you tensed your legs in an effort to ignore it, and the smirk on Michael’s face told you that he had noticed. 

Yes, you were wearing it for him. 

“No,” You had to crane your head to glare at him with how close he was, “I don’t know if this is the first time you’re hearing this, but not everything is about you, Boy Wonder.” 

He hummed, drawing his fingers along your cheekbone, and you cursed yourself for the way you leaned into the contact ever so subtly. After a moment he pressed his lips against yours, and although you fought to keep yourself in control, to keep from kissing him back, cursing yourself once again when you couldn’t hold yourself back, your noses smashing against one another, your mouth slipping open with a groan, quickly intruded upon by Michael’s tongue, which battled fiercely with yours. 

And then suddenly he pulled away from you and stepped back, and you fell to your knees as he chuckled, his hands unbuckling his belt, “All the same, little bitch, I think that color would look wonderful smeared all over my cock, don’t you?” 

“I fucking hate you,” You glared up at him through your eyelashes as one of his hands gripped your hair, the other pulling his dick out of the confines of his slacks. 

“That just makes this all the more pathetic, doesn’t it?” He slapped your cheek with his dick gently, and it wasn’t lost on you how perfect it was, the size and the ridging and and the pulsing veins and the furious pink of the tip all making your mouth water, “Get up and walk away if you want, little witch bitch. But I don’t think you will. I think you want this. I think that being a little whore is the calling you’re pulled to most.” 

Get up and walk away.

You could do that. 

He pulled his hand from your hair, letting your head drop back, and you knew that if you moved to stand he would release you, would let you go. His precum had leaked onto your face as he continued to hit your cheeks, waiting to see what you would do. 

Just get up and walk away. 

But you couldn’t, couldn’t bring yourself to walk away without having the chance to taste him, not when the very thought was sending arousal roaring through you, and while you wished you could directly blame this on Michael, could say that his magic was holding you in place, that simply wasn’t it. 

You opened your mouth as wide as you could and in an instant his cock was down your throat, Michael setting off to fuck your face at an intense pace. 

Gagging, you brought your hands up to his thighs, and when your nails scratched against his legs through the fabric or his dress pants Michael let out a high, desperate groan. 

Although you couldn’t quite smile at that, with how full your mouth was, there was a little voice gloating in the back of your head, and you squeezed his thigh tightly, drinking down his moans as you moved until his own back had hit the wall, his hands desperately moving from your hair to your shoulders to simply slamming down on either side of his body. 

“Your mouth is good for something, I guess,” Michael grunted, as though he wasn’t as desperate for you as you had been for him a week ago, “You’re much prettier when you’re not talking, did you know that?” 

You managed to flick back your middle finger enough to flip him off, although you didn’t pull back to make a verbal response. There was something urgent about this, and the idea of dropping him from your mouth seemed too great a sacrifice to make, when the harmony of Michael’s shockingly soft, animalistic moans mixed with the lewd, wet noises of his dick hitting the back of your throat was so disgustingly lovely. 

Michael’s hands twitched, as though he was going to grab at your hair again, and at that moment he seemed to finally notice your own magic in the air, holding his wrists in place.

“You little bitch,” He snarled, straining against the magic, but all he could do was buck his hips into your mouth even harder, letting out a hiss as your teeth grazed him, as your tongue swirled around his head, “Let me go.” 

But where’s the fun in that? 

You didn’t let him go, and you didn’t stop. If anything, you grew more intense, your hands managing all over him, sneaking past the fabric of his clothes to leave angry scratches on his skin, so smooth underneath your touch. Eventually one of them trailed to his balls, tugging and toying with them roughly as he began to strain even harder, began to make a choked noise at the back of his throat that made your thighs clench, and you knew he was going to cum soon. 

You pulled your mouth off of him. 

He looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, panting, desperate, watching as you trailed your tongue over every inch of his dick, pulling his balls into your mouth and sucking them slowly, and finally you pressed a kiss to the skin just above his cock and leaned back with a grin.

“What the fuck,” Michael growled, although his face showed a kind of manic desperation that he clearly wasn’t used to, “Get back to it!”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Your smile got even wider, although your mouth was sore and your voice scratchy, you decided it was worth it, “You call me a little bitch all the time, but who’s the bitch now, Boy Wonder?” 

“Y/N, I’m serious. I will ruin you,” Snarling in spite of the pained expression starting to grow on his face, he thrusted against you, and you let out a giggle at that. 

“It’s so cute that you say that while you’re humping my leg like an unfixed puppy,” Shaking your head, you took a step back, out of the range of his hips, and looked down to admire his flushed, throbbing dick, “You were right, y’know. The gold does look good on there .Especially the contrast it has with the blue of your balls.”

He looked down to see that your words were true, the skin becoming overtaken with a pale, bruise like color, and when Michael looked back up at you there was something murderous in his eyes, “Quit fucking around. Let me go, and finish.” 

“Why should I?”

Arms straining against their magical containment, face twisting with the growing pain in his balls, Michael’s voice had grown croaky, “Do it. I will never touch you again, if you walk away from this, do you get that you desperate little whore? You want me. You need me. Do what I fucking tell you.” 

“I think there’s been a serious misunderstanding here, Langdon. I don’t need anything from you. You keep saying you’re the one in charge, but look at you. You’re nothing but a little blonde bimbo. So fuck you,” You scoffed, trailing a single hand across his chest and giving his nipple a harsh pinch, letting out a laugh at his angered whine, “And by the way, Cordelia says I have to move back into our room. I’ll be back tonight. I’ll see you whenever you get around to being the powerful warlock everyone thinks you are and break through my magic.”

With that, you pressed a quick, chaste kiss to the corner of his lip and turned away, not bothering to fix your own appearance before you went out, turning the light off before you closed Michael in the closet. 

You were proud of yourself, you had to admit. 

Scared, perhaps, of what he might do, and curious as to whether or not he’d keep the promise that he’d never touch you again-not that you wanted him to, of course, you were just curious-but you were proud all the same. 

Fucking Michael Langdon. 

#michael langdon smut #michael langdon x reader smut #michael langdon x reader #hawthorne!michael #hawthorne!michael smut #hawthorne!michael langdon #hawthorne!michael langdon x reader #hawthorne!michael langdon x reader smut #part two #my writing #mine #my shitty writing but #we'll burn that bridge when we come to it #ahs fic #ahs oneshot #ahs smut #enjoy #if you can again i'm sorry it's short and bad #much love

[zpetlovesglitter]

The Wicked Powers Theories

The Wicked Powers has recently been getting me excited WAY too much - which says a lot about how weird I am since Cassie hasn’t even started on it yet (LOL).

aND, so, I kind of thought it’d be nice to jot down some predictions and theories on how the series might go and maybe some thoughts on THE SHIPS (that really do be the real TEA).

So.Here we go.And do let me know about any thoughts you have on this topic as well - I read anything about TWP like a crazed creature these days istg.

1)The POV has already been envisioned to be from Ty, Dru and Kit. I absolutely love this settlement since they are all very intriguing characters. Ty is an interesting person and his actions are always unpredictable, so we might enjoy this one. And,I believe he is at The Scholomance while the story progresses, followed by Livvy (Ghost Livvy, I mean).It’s still unclear what Livvy’s situation is, so I can’t wait to know more about that - it’s bound to be something unexpected. And, as for Dru, it’s kinda obvious. We all know that WE HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE COMING UP. But, other than that, we also know she attends The Academy and finally starts to makes some friends and even has that really close Italian (..or was it Spanish???) Shadowhunter friend who’s her age and Cassie also revealed that the two are really tight indeed. And I will be honing in on the Love Triangle soon - I told you I’ll be trying to spill whatever tea I’m guessing at.  And, as for the last character WE HAVE KIT! OMFG YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE OLDER BROTHER KIT.LIKE GOSH DARN IT HE IS SO ADORABLE AND MINA IS SO EFFING CUTE I CAN’T EVEN-                          AND KIT’S TRAINING WITH JEM AND HE IS GOING TO BE A WELL-TRAINED SHADOWHUNTER IN TWP, SO YAYYYY!! And, I absolutely CANNOT wait for MinaXKit interactions, they are the cutest siblings ever and I absolutely know that Mina grows up to be sarcastic. I can’t wait for the possible sarcastic arguments between Kit and 4-year old Mina. YOU THINK I FORGOT ABOUT KITxTY? NOPE.THE REAL SHET’S COMING UP.

2)Now,we know that the storyline is going to have something to do with that Faerie Heirloom that was from the Rosales Family. And, Cassie also said it was going to be kind of an Arthurian Legend-ish story. If you don’t know the Arthurian Legend, I suggest you read on it. I’m not sure if Cassie meant the characters and LOVE Aspect of it or the LEGEND aspect of it as in the stuff about Excalibur and all. But, for now we’ll view it in both and examine it, shall we?

King Arthur's reign ends after his wife and best knight have an affair.

This is the drama in the legend.But, there are no relationships with the MCs yet. So idk. I’m clueless. Like, maybe Dru has a relationship?? Okay I’m clutching at practically nothingness so don’t judge me. :/

So,it’s obviously something to do with the LEGEND.

I am afraid I cannot say too much about it, since I have never read too deeply about it. But, here’s some of the basics:

-He managed to pull out Excalibur from the rock it was stuck in.

-He wielded Excalibur for the people and not for his own self-interest.

-He gets help from a wizard named Merlin.

-The peeps go on a quest.

And I have this reference from a website..I’ll hit u with the link as well, if you’d like to read more on it like I did

Arthurian legend, the body of stories and medieval romances, known as the matter of Britain, centring on the legendary king Arthur. Medieval writers, especially the French, variously treated stories of Arthur’s birth, the adventures of his knights, and the adulterous love between his knight Sir Lancelot and his queen, Guinevere. This last situation and the quest for the Holy Grail (the vessel used by Christ at the Last Supper and given to Joseph of Arimathea) brought about the dissolution of the knightly fellowship, the death of Arthur, and the destruction of his kingdom.

(I’ve linked it with the text above.)

So,now I thought this was interesting- the destruction part. After all, it’s something I’m expecting about the Shadowhunters. Will the Clave maybe be destroyed? Or maybe Faerie will be destroyed? So,there were three things that brought on this uh Destruction.FIRST, his wife and his best buddy were going behind his back and doing them lovey-dovey stuff. And they all go on some quest to retrieve something important to them. So, this sounds like something plausible to be the plot of TWP. Maybe the Heirloom’s missing? And who goes on the quest though? Maybe they venture through Faerie? BLAH MY HEAD HURTS SOME THINGS ARE BETTER TO BE SURPRISED WITH ;)

-----I kinda scrolled back up while writing about Janus down there and remembered CLARY MIGHT BE TAKEN HOSTAGE LIKE YESS AND THEY GO FIND HER MAYBE?

3)We will defo see Christina, Mark and Kieran at some point- no worries, Emma and Julian too. Happy Couples! XD

4)So,then we can look forward to Dru and Jaime’s interactions. I am absolutely excited for this the most, as a shipper of the two. If you remember, we saw Jaime ignoring her for a while back there at the end of QOAAD and then he says “See ya at the Academy soon ig”. I really do hope they meet and hang out as friends, at least. I am excited to see what kind of trope it’s gonna be tho. Like, do they ignore each other and remain awkward until they start the adventure stuff in the book where they eventually have to talk to each other after years or smth. Or, maybe they’re really good friends rn. But, what I’ll warn y’all shippers is that they might not end up together, and could wind up as brother-sister-ish kind of best buddies. Which is equally cute a relationship imo. It’s a really sweet thing to be, really. I lowkey hope Cassie spins something beautiful for their relationship like a sibling-like best friends kind of thing. But, I feel like they might have feelings for each other in secret. Or maybe they date. Or maybe they suppress their secret-feelings for the sake of friendship later on in the book and end up having that really sweet friendship I was talking about.There are SO many options and that is precisely why I am so freaking excited.

5)JAIME ROCIO ROSALES.       Like, I have this gut feeling that he might end up being my fave male protagonist character in TSC. He’s got it ALL. Like, the sense of humour, the looks, the bubbly yet brooding personality, the quirks and OFC THE FRICKING NAME ITSELF IS CUTE AF LIKE BRUH I CANNOT WAIT TO READ ABOUT HIM.I have so much to say about Jaime but I’d rather we let ourselves simply wait for the crumbs Cassie might give us or maybe reread all his parts in TDA like I do everyday or just wait for the book to come out rather than simp for someone we know nothing about yet....

6)Ash Morgenstern.         He’s a cute lil bean.        That was random and untrue lmao. He’s not a ‘lil bean’. He’s totally badass with dem wings and all, but we know he’s soft inside for Janus and ofc Dru, I believe. I find him the most intriguing character, honestly. I would love to know what goes through his head. He’s actually, like, the one character in TSC that I don’t have all figured out. He gon surprise us all for sure tho. He is awesome. That’s all I have to say for now. And he looks up to Janus which is SO GODDAMN SWEET AHHHH. And THE WINGS I CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT THE WINGS IT SOUNDED SO BADASS ISTG I LITERALLY CANNOT WAIT GOSH DARN IT. But he really do be a cute lil bean lowkey tho.

7)Kit and Ty LOL. I have no words really. But lemme tell you how it might go. There is definitely going to be some kind of reunion. AND THEN THAT’S WHERE IT GETS CUTE. They could either be awkward and we know what tension that gets us-perhaps some whisperings of My Watson...(?  ;) and maybe they go all sad and brooding with dem looks later OR, they could be the sweetie-pies they were before and be happy and all HIII BUDDDYYYY MISSED YAAA LESS GO BE DETECTIVES YAY BURN IT UP MAH BUDDY!! Either way it’s going to be cute af and we know it . TRUST IN CASSIE Y’ALL.I trust Cassie to let this ship sail the seven seas and seven more like it deserves.

8)Ash and Dru So, Ash has a strange lil fixation on Dru and I believe he even thought she was ‘pretty’ or something. It was definitely a good adjective, but I think he said ‘pretty’. idk but we know he likes her. and I can imagine a nice relationship. I can picture them with her hair flying in the wind and they meet for the first time or smth. IHNI WHAT IM SAYING. But, there will be DRAMA. They are going to be real cute with each other YOU CAN BET ON THAT.And, by cute I do not necessarily mean ‘Oh, you have the loveliest eyes’ or some shet like that. I have a feeling it’s going to be a case of ‘Well,that’s not weird or anything YOU WEIRDO - NO U - NO U - NO U’ However this relationship is going to go, I know that it’ll be a sweet one.And, for all you shippers of these two, I have no assurances that HE IS THE ONE or anything but he is definitely a candidate. Jaime is going to be some competition I can tell. So, idk. It depends on the Jaime x Dru ship to decide things for Ash x Dru ship imo, since it might be a no-brainer if the two have feelings for each other- I mean,Jaime is an actually perfect love interest in TSC, while Ash is strong potential Best-Friend material, so it’s ONLY if Jaime and Dru don’t like each other that way that Ash could make it as a love interest. So, if y’all wanna find out what’s in it for you guys, ask Cassie maybe about how the Jaime x Dru ship might go, the next time u wanna ask her ;)

9)Tavvy and maybe the kid Helen and Aline might have had We were getting hints of another baby, so HERE WE GO.Tavvy might have a playmate. :D. YAYYYYYYYYYY

10)Janus  I’m honestly worried about him. He is a worrisome character. I hate empathising with the antagonist, personally. AAAAHHHH . I hope we see some character development in him. I really don’t want to see him as an antagonist in the story. He’s sweet and feels cheated, but he should realise that it ain’t Jace’s fault but SEBASTIAN’S fault. I would like for him to make amends with Jace :( And, also, he might get the story started in TWP tho idk. But, seriously tho, when he went home in that short story and Ash asked, “I thought you were gone forever?” or something of that sort and he shook his head sadly and Ash went soft for him. Like, that fricking broke my heart. I love this relationship tho. And, i hope Clary and him can be good friends. But, I feel like he might end up dying to save her or smth and make us all cry . T_T

11)WHAT TF IS GOING ON WITH THE SHADOWHUNTER POLITICS RN THO?HOW AND WHERE ARE THEY ALL SURVIVING TOGETHER WHAT IS THEIR SYSTEM AND STUFF THIS IS NOT A POINT WITH POTENTIAL THEORIES COZ HONESTLY I WANT TO BE SURPRISED BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT ALL JUST BE IN HIDING AND THEN IN TWP THEY MIGHT HAVE TO COME OUT FOR A QUEST OR SMTH AND WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE SHADOWHUNTERS AT THE CLIMAX OF THIS WHOLE SERIES??? IT IS THE END OF TSC SO IM SCARED AND KINDA SAD TOO :(((((((

12)Thule We might learn more about the Thule world and maybe they restore it or maybe the Quest is in Thule. idk. we don’t know much, but Thule will most probably be explored a lot. Cassie wouldn’t have opened up Thule for no reason.

13)Zara and Emma  Showdown? Befriend e/o ? What’s in store for these two? If it’s a showdown we get to see CORTANA YAY I AM OBSESSED WITH CORTANA NOW BECAUSE OF CORDELIA AND HER OBSESSION GOSH DARN IT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

14)BIG WAR I see a huge war coming I just know it. It’s a climax so there MUST be a big war and so I cannot wait! Feel like there’s gonna be some deaths as well. Lowkey feel like Jia might die. I can feel it. :(

15)The best-friend shadowhunter of Dru is a nice thing to look forward to! I can’t wait to read about the two! And I love the fact that Dru is finally exposed to new people. And, for anyone who’s confused as to how she goes to the Academy, in QOAAD she only said she’ll have some maturity done AFTER some years .  Those years are over and she at the Academy now hecc yeah I BELIEVE THE BFF IS CALLED THAI AND SHE’S FROM THE SPANISH INSTITUTE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG???

16)Magnus Bane He is literally everywhere. He gon be here too. No worries for all the Magnus Bane stans. He’ll make it here without a doubt!  Good for you :).  and the entire community of shadowhunters they literally always need him  17)THE MAIN MAIN PLOT THE SHADOWHUNTERS SHOWDOWN IS OBVIOUSLY GOING TO ALSO BE RELATED TO THE PRINCES OF HELL COMING TOGETHER AND I AM TOO SCARED TO LOOK TOO INTO IT BUT WE KNOW SHIZ COMING GNJODIFPEDWEFHUGBJ VM

18)THIS IS KINDA RANDOM BUT I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SELF-ESTEEM GROWTH IN DRU LIKE PLEASE SHE QUEEN MWAH

#shadowhunters #theshadowhunters #queen of air and darkness #the dark artifices #TWP #the wicked powers #cassandra clare #shadowhunters theories #the wicked powers theories #twp theories #lady midnight #lord of shadows #kit herondale #ash morgenstern #dru blackthorn #emma carstairs #julian blackthorn #mina carstairs #ty blackthorn #tavvy blackthorn #jace herondale #clary morgenstern #clary fray #tessa gray #the infernal devices #helen blackthorn #mark blackthorn #livvy blackthorn #zara dearborn #horace dearborn

[fourteenacross]

Hello, void, I’m back for more screaming. idk, following along the concept from this, which is in and of itself a follow-up to this.

*

When Sam gets back from his last lunch meeting before the holiday recess, Josh is on his way into the office. Seeing Josh around isn't strange--he pops in on occasion to see Donna. What is strange is that  Josh's arms are loaded down with folders and a tablet--he's clearly here for work, despite the fact the place has already mostly shut down for the holidays. His staff is largely gone and there's one senior staff meeting standing between Sam and nearly a month in New York with Will and his family.

"Hey, Josh!" he says. "Donna has a meeting--I'm late to that meeting, actually--but she should be out in twenty minutes or so."

"I'm here for the meeting," Josh says, just as Will pokes his head out into the reception area.

"Oh good, you're here," he says to Josh. Which is...incredibly out of character.

"Oh good Josh is here?" Sam asks, raising his eyebrows.

"You too, I guess," Will says. At Sam's incredulous look, Will absently busses him on the cheek.

"I don't understand." Sam turns back to Josh. "Did Evelyn send you to try and get me on board for the thing?"

"No," Josh says. "I don't work for the DNC anymore. I resigned two weeks ago."

"Wait, why didn't you--"

"You're both late for our meeting," Will says. He tugs Sam's sleeve. "Come on. Cathy, hold the calls?"

"Already on it," Cathy says from behind her desk. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," Will says, and ushers him into the conference room.

Sam's a little hurt that Josh hasn't mentioned quitting his job and a little perplexed that Donna hasn't mentioned it either. When Josh was briefly between jobs after President Santos' first and only term ended, she made sure to remind him and Will both, frequently, that she was the sole breadwinner for her household now, and she really needed a raise. Even more peculiar is Josh showing up here of all places, to meet with Will of all people. Sam gave up on the idea of Josh and Will getting along a long time ago, and while they're generally civil to each other at this point, they're certainly not actively spending time together.

Still, he follows Josh into the conference room. Seated at the table are Donna, Lauren, and Winnifred, all with notes and laptops spread in front of them. Will sits next to Donna, the two of them at the head of the table, and, to Sam's great surprise, Josh sits next to Will and slides him the tablet he was carrying.

"Have a seat," Will says, and Sam sits down hard.

"Okay, someone has to tell me what's going on because you're all freaking me out, now," Sam says. "Is this an intervention? Is this because I said I should take a meeting with Kavan Chowdhury while we're up visiting your parents? Because that was a joke, I'm not going to work over the break, I swear."

"No, it's not an intervention," Will says. A beat, then, "Though I know you weren't joking about that even if you think you were, but we can argue about that later."

"This is the first strategy meeting for your next campaign," Josh says before Sam can continue down that line of conversation.

And that...maybe makes more sense. Sam is genuinely shocked that Will would hire Josh to work on his campaign given their history and honestly almost more shocked that Josh would take such a breeze of a job. Also, it's way too early.

"That election’s still four years away, and not to tempt the wrath of the whatever, but do you really think it's going to be a big enough fight that we need to start planning already?" Sam asks. His first re-election campaign was nothing, and if anything, he's more popular now than he was in his first term.

"Yes," Will says. "Because it is four years away, but it's not going to be a cakewalk. It's going to be the hardest fight of your life and I'm determined we're going to win it."

"I really don't know--" Sam starts to say.

"Just show him the thing," Josh says to Will and Will rolls his eyes, but he turns on the tablet and then flips it over so that Sam can see the screen.

Seaborn for America it says, in stylized red, white, and blue.

Sam can hardly move.

"You're ready for this," Will says gently, switching out of his work voice and into the quieter one he uses in the moments just between the two of them. "You're ready for this and I think the world is going to be ready for it by 2018. I think we can do this."

"Will...." Sam starts to say, but he doesn't even know where to begin.

"It was always heading here, Sam," Josh says. "You know that. We've been talking about this since we were kids on the Hill."

Which isn't untrue--they have been talking about Sam's political career since the summer they first met. But most of those conversations unceremoniously died when Sam came out. Sam always assumed that Josh had transferred those dreams to Matt Santos.

"I don't...I can't...." Sam stutters, still staring at the tablet.

"You can," Will says. There's a fire in his eyes that Sam hasn't seen since he first decided to run for the Senate nine years ago. A bone-deep desire to make this happen. An unwavering determination that once got a dead liberal elected in the California 47th.

"We've started drawing up some preliminary plans," Donna says. "We're starting off in a good place--people are still talking about your speech at the convention over the summer. The younger demographics appreciate that you're active on social media and, well, to be frank, that you're kind of a nerd. Older voters still associate you with Bartlet, and that gives them confidence in your leadership skills."

"Did you...do polling?" Sam asks.

"Well, yeah, I'm your Media Director, of course I did polling," Donna says.

"How long have you guys been planning this?" Sam asks.

"We found out the week after the election," Winnifred says, and Lauren nods. Sam turns to Josh.

"Well, Will called me up after Evanson tanked the first debate and it started to become clear we were in for round two of the Sullivan presidency," Josh says.

"He told me when I started as Press Secretary back in 2006," Donna says.

Sam looks to Will, then, who's radiating pride and just a little of the Bailey smugness that drives Sam crazy.

"Since the moment you told me to give Kay Wilde your name," Will says, and Sam isn't sure if he wants to smack him or kiss him, but he'd settle for the latter, for certain.

He looks between the five of them, all of them so sure that this is what's next, so confident in him as a candidate, as a leader.

"Could everyone who's not married to me step outside for a minute?" he asks. He's trying to keep his voice even, but it goes a little high at the end.

"If you're gonna make out or shout at each other, can't we just turn around until you're done?" Winnifred asks.

"Come on," Donna says, nudging her to stand up. "They just need a minute to psych each other up. And then, yeah, probably be gross and romantic at each other.”

"Just, two seconds," Sam says to them, though his eyes don't leave Will. "Don't go anywhere."

The rest file out, and then it's just Will, sitting at the head of the conference table holding an iPad that's long since gone to sleep.

"Hi," Will says, when it's clear Sam's not going to say something first.

"Hi," Sam says. He gets to his feet, dazed, and walks over to Will.

"I know I've said it before, but the waistcoat is a good look for you," Will says.

Sam covers his face with his hands. "Will," he says.

Will stands too and goes just far enough to lean against the table, crossing his arms loosely against his chest.

"Very distinguished," Will continues.

"Will," Sam says again, and this time Will stays quiet. Sam drops his hands and stares at Will for a moment. "Since that first night?" he finally asks, soft, like he's afraid if he says it too loudly it will dissipate into the air and fade away.

Will nods. No cute remark, no explanation, no smug rejoinder. He just nods. Sam has both never loved him more and never been more terrified.

Something of it must show on his face, because Will's resolved expression softens and he says, "Hey, hey, come here," and reaches out to pull Sam into an embrace. "You have to know I love you too much to have started this if I didn't think you could win it." He presses his nose into Sam's hair. "I would never do that to you."

The problem is that Will thinks Sam can do anything. Will's unwavering belief in him as a person is sometimes so overwhelming that he's paralyzed by the expectations.

"I don't know if I can do this," Sam says into Will's neck.

"You can," Will promises. "And even if you don't believe it yourself, you've got me and Josh and the staff to believe it for you until it sinks in."

Sam closes his eyes and thinks about a quiet night more than a decade ago when President Bartlet challenged him to a game of chess.

Sam, you're gonna run for President one day, he'd said, and the shock of hearing his private dream spoken aloud by one of the people he respected most in the world had stunned him into silence. President Bartlet thought he could do it. He believed in Sam, which meant more than he could ever articulate. It's a memory he's held close, one he's never shared with anyone, not even Will, in part because was certain that his relationship with Will would put an end to those aspirations. In 2002, the idea of an out queer man running for President, let alone winning, seemed like an absurd fantasy.

In 2014, he's startled to realize it might actually be within his grasp.

Sam reluctantly pulls back from Will, just far enough that he can look him in the eye.

"You really think we can do this," he says. It's not a question--Will has made that much clear.

"I'm certain of it," Will says, that steely resolve back in his voice.

Sam loves him so much.

"Okay," he says. "Then I guess we should get the rest of the staff back in here so we can start."

Will's grin could light up the Beltway.

"Yes, sir," he says, and kisses Sam firmly before pulling back and moving for the door. Sam moves with him, an arm tucked around his waist.

"You really called Josh to help?" he asks, just to hear Will's beleaguered sigh.

"I wouldn't use the word 'help,'" Will says. He pulls open the door to the conference room, where the rest of the senior staff and Josh are milling around a little too casually to not have been listening at the door the entire time. "Come on in, everyone, I've bullied him into it."

"I was just telling Will how nice it is that he could ask for your help, Josh," Sam says. "Look at the two of you, working together."

"I don't need help!" Will insists.

"It's very sweet," Sam says. "Don't you think it's sweet, Donna?"

"So sweet," Donna says.

"Spending the next four years working together," Sam says, just to see Will make a face like the milk in his coffee's gone off. "It'll bring you closer together."

"And eight more years after that, knock on wood!" Donna adds, and Sam has to imagine that it's entirely to see Josh roll his eyes so hard it's a wonder he hasn't hurt himself.

"Listen," Josh says as he brushes past Sam and Will and back into the conference room. "I only answered this call because I want Sam to win this and I don't trust the guy who ran Bingo Bob Russell's campaign into the ground to pull it off."

"I ran Bob Russell's campaign into the ground?" Will says, stalking off after Josh. "I think it was more like you manipulating the convention from hell--"

"Excuse me, I did no such thing!"

"It's gonna be a fun four years, huh?" he hears Lauren say to Winnifred behind him.

"I think you mean it's gonna be a fun twelve years," Winnifred replies.

And while Sam is still a little terrified of tempting the wrath of the whatever and even more terrified that he might not be up to the job, he can't help but sincerely think that it will be fun.

"You're an idiot!" Josh snaps.

"I can fire you!" Will snaps back.

Well, a little fun, at least.

#fic by me #sort of #the west wing #sam x will #will bailey #sam seaborn

[paint-pilot]

hormone/gen transition journal bc it’s been...[sigh] awhile

under readmore bc ramble but for those who are keeping up, this is just past 11 months on t

idk if it’s typical for anyone else on im injections but it’s gotten more. difficult lately? like the needle used to just sink all the way to the cap with no resistance but now it tends to get stuck halfway and be painful when i try to push it further. i genuinely don’t know if this is a tension issue or a muscle tone issue or what, but it is painful and annoying and i might bring it up next time i go to the doctor.

as for other transition stuff, i have paperwork in hand for a legal name change so...fingers crossed? i need to get my doctor to spell my name correctly on her letter (lol) and go get fingerprints done, but other than that i should be clear.

my mom also wants me to get a top surgery consult scheduled - she seems to think i could do it in june before my internship starts but im doubtful. i keep...just pushing it off. i really don’t know why, and it doesn’t help that my mom put a bug in my ear about my cousin (also trans) putting off their surgery and then realizing they didn’t want to keep transitioning. i know i want this. i know i can’t keep binding. why am i so damn bad at keeping the momentum going? every time something starts to happen i just. stop.

of course i know, it’s a combination of being deeply exhausted by everything going on around me and that little remaining voice in my head that reminds me that i don’t Really want to transition this fast and i’m just doing so to avoid putting myself in danger and, honestly, i don’t know how false that is

but enough negativity! i wish i had more good things to say, but i honestly just haven’t noticed many changes of note. my voice seems like it might be solidifying slightly, but it’s still hella nasally (as i recently learned) so hopefully it has a ways to go yet. i sadly had to shave off all five of my beard hairs for a headshot, but the stubble came back impressively fast. i’m very stable, it honestly seems - i think most of what im waiting on is muscle growth, facial hair, and the rest of my voice change. i should start working out again.

to be honest i haven’t been nearly as focused on gender shit as i have my sexuality lately, which is...funny to me, because it’s been the other way around for as long as i can remember. but like...i dunno. i thought i was bi for awhile, and then maybe just straight, but someone in a server im in mentioned things that just made me confused. like, approaching this from a purely pragmatic perspective, i do not see actions like hand-holding/kissing/cuddling/sex/etc as inherently romantic, personally, and i don’t experience desire to do any of those things with people i don’t already consider myself friends with. and like, i was watching some shitty dating sim let’s play last night, and my roommate went something like “i would never want to get hit on in a supermarket,” and i honestly held myself back from saying “i would never want to get hit on anywhere.” i don’t even care if i get married or in a long-term partnership or whatever - i’d be just as fine sticking with a friend all my life, and if said friend wanted to get married for like. tax purposes it would make literally no difference to me. and like, some would say that makes me ace, some would say demi, and some would say i just have trust issues which is not untrue

i don’t know. i feel some attachment to the “ace” label, but that scares me, too. i know im personally fine never falling in love or w/e, but i know the world at large might not agree. beyond that, i Do experience some powerful desire for the actions i mentioned above with certain people, but is that romantic attraction if i don’t see those actions as romantic necessarily? do i experience sexual attraction or just my hormones doing what they do best? do i really fit in anywhere in the ace/allo framework if i just fundamentally don’t get the friendship/romance distinction as a concept?

...whew, okay, i knew there was a lot there but it’s still longer than i expected. this kinda is the only place i have to vent about this sort of thing without worrying about anyone i know personally seeing it, so sorry. if you’ve put up with the irregularly-scheduled rant sessions up until this point, i appreciate you

#t.txt #not horses #the puberty diaries #i don’t have anything to add here honestly #need to lie down for like a month

[malecftw]

Your writing is AMAZING, I love it! Do you think you could do something where the reader and Shawn never get into fights, but they do over something dumb and the reader starts crying and Shawn feels bad so he drops whatever it is they are fighting about?!

A/N: So I had to rewrite the entire thing since it got deleted when proofreading why am I such a dumbass. Anywhooo thank you nonnie for requesting this. Hope you like it, don’t hesitate to let me know ;)

I’ve started up various taglists so if you want to be tagged in my future work shoot me a message or hit up my ask box. Please include which taglist you want to be added to specifically.

Word count: 1670

Warnings: angst, argument, cursing, idk if you can give a warning for fluff but... FLUFFFFFF

Masterlist.

Taglist:  @shawn-youth

I rolled my eyes at Shawn’s words, causing him to get even more annoyed with me. ‘Yeah y/n. You roll your eyes at me. You have nothing to defend yourself with anyway.’ He stood on the other side of the kitchen, leaning against the stove and looking at me angrily. ‘Shawn I just asked if you could do some more chores. I’m literally doing everything here.’ I said, not willing to continue the argument but also not ready to back down.

‘Everything except for actually working and earning money.’ He muttered quietly, but still loud enough for me to hear. His eyes immediately turned sorrowful but he knew the damage was done and it was too late to take his words back. It struck a nerve. It’s been a sensitive subject for me ever since I started living with him. I was currently finishing up my last year at university as a science major. The only reason why I hadn’t gotten a job yet because Shawn assured me I didn’t have to. 

He said he earned enough money for me to focus on my education and future, knowing the added stress of a job would burn me out since I was already drowning in papers, exams, and classes. He constantly reassured me, saying he didn’t mind, that my future was important to him. Not once had he made a comment that led me to believe he was insincere about this subject. It didn’t free me of the guilt that was gnawing at my soul though.

 Every single time I bought something nice for myself or went out with friends, this little voice in the back of my mind told me I was being ungrateful. I was brought up to always be grateful for the things I receive or the gifts of others and I made sure I showed my gratitude to Shawn every chance I got. That’s why his comment hit me so hard.

‘Nice one Shawn, nice one...’ I said disappointed as I took my coat off of the coat hanger. He stalked over to me instantly when he realized what I was doing. ‘Y/n come on. We both said things we didn’t mean. Come on, don’t do this you know I didn’t mean it I was just angry.’ He said without taking a breath. I looked up at him, tears already threatening to spill over. ‘You may not have meant it, but you knew how much I struggle with that subject and you still decided to use it against me.’ 

I slowly tore my arm out his big hand and took a step towards the door. ‘Don’t worry, I have my phone on me, I’ll call you if something's wrong. Just don’t... Don’t flood my phone okay.’ ‘Just please tell me you’ll come back?’ Shawn asked. We’d both made a deal at the beginning of the relationship to never go to bed without clearing up a fight or argument. Now he was looking to see if I’d break that promise. I didn’t trust my voice so I just nodded before turning my back to him. Shawn bowed his head down in defeat, knowing the best thing now was to leave me be with my thoughts to figure things out.

I didn’t look back to him when I closed the door of our condo, allowing the tears to fall freely and without shame, as I made it out of the building.I started jogging when I got outside, the sharp wind slapping me across the face. It didn’t take me long to reach my destination considering it was right around the corner from our building.

As I entered, the waitress shot me a worried smile and allowed me to sit down and collect myself before coming over to take my order. ‘The usual please.’ I said, avoiding her gaze. I was no stranger here. Usually, Shawn accompanied me though. I used to drag him along with me because I loved the place so much. Until one day it had finally grown on him enough for him to come here by himself on the days I had class and couldn’t join him. I’m guessing it was pretty obvious he was the reason for my red, teary eyes. I don’t think I’ve come here without him in the past year, not counting the times he was on tour. Usually, when he was touring I didn’t really come here that much, the entire place reminding me of too many lunch dates that my heart couldn’t handle.

I looked outside, observing a dark cloud that was flooding over the city. It looked like something out of an apocalyptic movie. Shawn was definitely going to be worried about me being outside in this kind of weather, he never stopped worrying about me.

Not too long after I’d placed my order, the waitress approached me. She put down my favorite tea on the wooden table, accompanied by a cake pop that strongly resembled the head of a little kitten. It was a cute sight really but I looked up at the girl questioningly. ‘That one’s on me. I figured you could use a little pick me up.’ She said smiling. I didn’t really know what to say, surprised by her random act of kindness so I thanked her and made sure to remind myself to leave her a nice tip when I left.

The warm, sweet taste of the tea made it down my throat, warming my insides and I immediately felt better. I knew Shawn hadn’t meant what he’d said, but it still hurt. I don’t know if he realized how much of a big deal the money thing is to me. I hate being dependent although he’d never view it like that. My education was a temporary situation and in turn also a temporary problem, yet I couldn’t help but think about our future.

Like any relationship, ours was completely based on trust. Maybe even more so than a normal relationship. Having a boyfriend that toured the world wasn’t really a regular thing so if we didn’t have full trust in one another we would’ve been over a long time ago.

After a while, I decided to message Shawn. This was stupid. I asked him to meet me here and started a timer on my phone, from the second I’d sent him the message to the second he’d arrive. I knew him, it wouldn’t take long before I’d see his beautiful face and kind smile walking through the door and I was right.

He looked at me and smiled as he went to sit down, shooting the waitress and grin as he acknowledged her. He looked hesitant and a short silence overtook us before I spoke up. ‘7 and a half minutes. I believe that’s a record, Mr. Mendes.’ I laughed lightly, trying to set the tone for the rest of the evening. He looked surprised, most certainly not expecting that kind of welcome as he eyed the numbers on the phone I held up in front of him.He quickly regained his composure though and played along. ‘Well, Miss. Y/L/N. If a pretty girl calls, you answer.’ He said smirking when he saw my rosy cheeks as a reaction to his compliment. 

The mood turned a bit more serious when the memories of our fight flooded back to him. ‘Y/n I...’ He started but he got interrupted. The waitress that served me earlier was now standing at our table with a genuine smile on her face. ‘I didn’t want to disturb you two so I just got you your usual order.’ She said as she carefully placed a cup of black coffee in front of Shawn accompanied by another cake pop. Shawn had the same questioning expression on his face that I’d had earlier and I laughed silently when the girl said: ‘It’s on the house.’ His mouth slightly formed an O-shape and the waitress looked at me smirking. Shawn quickly thanked her, making sure she realized how much he appreciated the gesture before returning back to the conversation after she left.

‘I’m sorry y/n. I know it doesn’t mean much because what’s done is done but I can 100% say I didn’t mean what I said. Truth is I had nothing on you so I used that as the worst most pathetic and untrue argument. And a lie on top of it all. I know how hard you work and not a day goes by that I’m not the proudest boyfriend alive. If I could take it back I would.’ He rambled trying to get every word out at the same time.

I took his hand in mine, trying to stop his word vomit. ‘Look, Shawn. We both messed up. We both said things we don’t mean and we both could’ve handled things differently. I was just stressed out cause of all the papers I have to finish but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you and that’s no excuse. We’re a team and we work best as one. I’m sorry the entire argument happened because honestly, it was stupid it’s already cringing me out thinking back to it.’

Shawn sighed in relief, taking a sip of his coffee before speaking again. ‘Y/n I totally understand how rough it must be to tackle a heavy education like that and so much housework. If you tell me which chores to do I will do them. Just one thing... Please please please don’t make me do laundry because we will end up with toddler socks and white shirts gone pink.’

At that, I laughed out loud. Seeing Shawn so insecure about something as simple as doing the laundry was adorable. I got closer to him and grinned. ‘Fine. No laundry. Wouldn’t want you and the washing machine stressing each other out.’ Shawn laughed and shook his head.

From a distance the waitress was looking at you two, smirking at the sight of both of you laughing. 

Cake pops could cure any sadness.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst

[yaboylevi]

What did Kenny mean when he said "what are you? A hero?" Or smth like this + what do you think about Kenny in general

It’s a difficult concept to grasp, for me, because while I understand it in theory and especially with the examples Kenny offered Levi, I still don’t understand if it’s that true in real life. Most of the people I know, myself included, aren’t going on in life because of something they are “drunk on”, we’re just living because we are alive, going through the motions of daily life and trying to find happiness in whatever we can. Or maybe it’s just me, idk. SO, forgive me for rambling.

But anyway, he was saying that everyone has something, subconsciously or consciously, they are living for - and might I add, find relief, joy, and peace of mind in. He then implied Levi is living to save people. I don’t think Levi was aware of it until that point, but he may have pondered on his words later on. 

Isayama said Levi’s strength is what defines him, or something along these lines - he cited the quote “from great powers come great responsibilities”, meaning that Levi, who is the strongest, feels responsible for those weaker than him who died or can’t even fight properly for themselves. I believe it’s always been like this, as shown how he fought for Isabel when she got beaten up. Erwin made him believe he could use this strength on a bigger scale, though, and Levi, who had nothing else left to fight for, grabbed that chance. If he didn’t, he would’ve died/had no reason to live. 

And like any substance, if you take too much of it, it’ll poison you. A too caring mother can become overbearing and anxious, pushing away her kids due to her insufferable behavior. A person drunk on power like Kenny might become obsessed with gaining more and more power, until they can’t and they lose their fighting spirit or they let that power destroy them. A worshipper could end up explaining everything, even the worst atrocities, as god’s will or kill in its name. Etcetera. 

This is true to what we have seen in Levi, in particular recently: he is drunk on the responsibility he feels towards his dead comrades. He feels like he needs to avenge their death or he’s useless, the guilt will be too much and everything would be in vain. Isayama himself said that he has no purpose left in life other than that. I'm using “drunk” as a negative term here, because he increasingly got less about “the greater good of the people” and more focused on some specific individuals linked to making the dead people’s sacrifices worth it. It is not something that’s giving him strength, imo, it’s dragging him down, because it’s become an obsession, rather than a goal/mission. I believe a hero - if one wants to be a comic-book hero - is defined by having those sacrifices give them strength, and this is exactly how Levi’s been introduced to us in the beginning.

Now he’s just this:

I know many disagree, they see no difference in these two reasonings, and I agree that the difference is subtle and I can’t properly explain it myself, it’s more of a feeling. But there is a difference for me. The first image implies continuity into the future. The second one stops at the past and doesn’t go beyond the moment he will kill the one person who he feels is responsible for everything (which is untrue). That’s how obsessions work, I feel. You can’t see past them anymore.

I don’t know how Kenny could pinpoint exactly what was driving Levi forward, but I guess he’s always been a perceptive guy.

Re: Kenny. I don’t know, it’s been so long since his character had any focus. I liked him enough, he was a fun guy to watch moving around the story. Never hated him I think (I honestly don’t remember my feelings for him during Uprising). Kinda pitiful in his own obsessions and self-hatred. I really, really liked that he cared about his squad. And it was so fun seeing him interact with Annie, though Annie was even better.

I have already said that “what do you think about x character” questions throw me off bc they’re not specific enough and I don’t know what to say, sorry.

I’m sure there are more well-written posts about Kenny’s speech, I may have reblogged some of them - but I myself have never understood it well because it never resonated with me personally.

#shingeki asks #snk spoilers #Levi ackerman #kenny ackerman #I just noticed the biggest difference in isa's style #he didn't SHADE faces!!! omg #or anything really #Anonymous

[princess--catherine]

Maybe y’all will hate me for this, I’m all for women’s rights and the Me Too movement but has it maybe taken a turn it shouldn’t have? I can already feel the hatred

Just in the past couple weeks I’ve seen at least 3 “predators/rapists exposed”, and after looking into it I saw no predatory behavior to expose that was given. And people are losing their shit over this “cancelation?” The evidence for this one? “Had a minor backstage”...you think that didn’t and doesn’t currently happen with idk, every Disney star EVER and boy band on the radio? I’m sure a portion of Billie Eilish fans who’s parents buy backstage passes are REAL young, is she cancelled too? Since when does having a minor in your presence = any type of sexual behavior? This allegation causally mentions “backstage minor” and quickly moves to “predator” with no cohesion there. Since when does an adult simply being around a minor automatically make you guilty of doing sick shit? The “evidence” shown was pretty pathetic: cropped and blocked out texts with no name as to who it’s from, no name but said star predator, no time stamp or date, no pics, no voice memos, no emails, no proof of any kind that there was any truth to the claims, no detail, no real allegation actually even made from what I saw. Unless the “so and so did this” part was in invisible ink. I could literally google the date of a ‘insert famous person here’ concert or general tour dates, and do the same with a texting app or with someone else’s phone. This is an Accusation on someone of a serious sex crime on the sole basis maybe 5 texts, some of which are hidden, and ALL of which are anonymous, detail no criminal activity, are never worth ending or attempting to make sure someone’s career over.

Another one I saw was an explanation that another social media person made a somewhat crude comment/gusture towards a woman he knew but wasn’t super familiar with. One time, no actual touching. He was later told by a friend “not cool, other lady friend did not like”, he did as he should have and apologized, and it didn’t happen again- admittedly on both sides. The two girls told him everything was cool and okay, no harm no foul, don’t worry about it. It didn’t happen again and the friendship continued. Days later, “evidence” comes out from one of them citing him as a sexual predator for this situation. This incident. Yeah, it’s not cool to get in peoples space or compliment them in certain ways if your friendship is not on that level and it hasn’t been established. That I agree with, that it simply wasn’t very polite, but a) no one was actually touched physically in anyway and b) the “crude” comment from my understanding was about an outfit fitting her well or being firm fitting. Yeah, that might make ya feel a lil icky, but there was no sexual suggestion or threat. There’s a huge difference between unwanted attention and sexual harassment. Someone else later gets involved but says she’s “not comfortable/willing to discuss” but still insists he’s a predator but doesn’t show a single shred of any involvement or information. If I was these people being falsely accused, getting death treats and doxxed, and ultimately, “cancelled”/therefore loss of income possibly long term , with basically no evidence or someone saying shit like “yes, that’s a predator. Nobody gets to know why I’m saying that though. I don’t want to relive it, my bad. You horrible people need to stop supporting this sex offender!” I’d be sueing the shit out of someone and everyone for slander. Like this is unreal to me. It really blows my mind.

Before you message me hateful shit, hear me out. I’m not saying these guys are stand up, amazing, perfectly well behaved dudes. I’m not saying they’ve never done anything predatory or wrong before in their lives or careers. Lord knows narcissistic and higher than thou types run entertainment. I’m sure they all got their attitude and behavioral problems. I’m just saying the info I just read and described is almost nothing being real generous, no rational person sees that and labels someone a sex offender. You’re accusing someone of a very serious crime, in a lot of cases a fat ole felony, being a RSO list sometimes for a lifetime. Bill Cosby? Deserve it. Weinstien? Deserve it. Epstein? Deserved to be under the jail. I understand there’s not always physical evidence, or maybe there’s not enough to build a case/a case is unwanted by victim. Some say they want people to know and be warned. If that’s what you truly want, you truly truly are trying to protect others, go in 150%. Everything you got. But when this person publicly and openly calling someone out by name for being a “rapist/sexual predator”, absolutely dragging them thru the mud, and the reasoning, the justification for this is that he was dating other women? nah sis. That’s not how this works, getting played, while scummy, is NOT RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT/etc. (*this is excluding things that don’t apply to this particular story like recanting consent or knowingly passing on an STI) So sure, he’s a probably a POS, clearly unloyal, he’s maybe learned the art of sweet talkin his way into this one way monogamous relationship, and I frankly wouldnt feel bad if one of those girls who got played popped 3 of his tires, bought a fuck ton of spiders and sneak them into his bedroom or something. But not jail or prison. What he did (unless other info comes out) isn’t something to be uplifted or encouraged, it’s poor, unfair behavior. But what he did is not CRIMINAL. It’s just shitty and inconsiderate. And I know y’all are reading this thinkin “fuck this bitch”, making assumptions before you read a fraction of what I’m saying.

So let me explain a situation I was accidentally involved in a few years ago with someone who was “famous” around those parts and had lots of fans and groupies. Let’s call him “Lee”. Long story short, a friend and I were with him and different other people basically from like 8-9 pm to around 4 am. He was alone (out of my sight) only 3 times: once to use the bathroom at my friends before leaving, once in the men’s bathroom at a club, and for maybe 5 minutes when I had to change at my friends place before going back over. They lived in the same complex and stuff so it was basically throwing on some sweats and taking an elevator down. We hangout, drink, smoke, talk. Lowkey, chill.

I wake up the next day, someone texted me this link about “Lee” raping a girl. I’m thinking “holy shit, that’s scary and insane, we were just with him last night drinking and shit.” Keep reading...it says it was the night before. Same date we were with him. And the time the assault supposedly took place was when we had come back to his place, where other people were already there, we were sitting there forever talking/whatever, this girl who pointed the finger was not even in the room and left before we did. She poked her head in once and asked where Lee’s roommate was. He told her cookout, it’s late so it’ll be a minute. Asked her if she wanted to hang out with us. She declined. So I figured maybe this info was wrong somehow and at the time I wasn’t making the connection between that girl and this story. I was like, no way a girl would lie about that of all things and especially knowing it’d likely get picked up by the local media, or at least local gossip. Her life here would be over. My friend and I decided to go talk to the police even though I avoid the damn police at all costs. The first thing I asked this officer was: “are you POSITIVE this is the date, place, and time, and are you POSITIVE “Lee” is who she is accusing?” And I asked that mostly because I was not about to defend or vouch for someone about a situation I wasn’t present for. Also, I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Lee”, so I sure as shit I wasn’t getting myself involved and going to bat for him without knowing it’s right. The Officer was very adamant that all that info was correct, victim was very sure. I explained to him everything I explained above, but I’m sure in better detail and included texts, pics, videos all with times, plus receipts showing how this isn’t adding up. He wasn’t alone the entire night and early morning. Officer ask me if she (the victim) was visiting a roommate of Lee’s, if they were sleeping together during her visit, I told him the truth which was that I didn’t really know for sure but it was a possibility. He told me somebody else had claimed she was no longer welcome for unknown reasons and believed this to be be related. I explain to the officer that I won’t speak on her time with the roommate because I saw her only long enough for her to ask a question and respond to another. Before she peeped out the door, I had no clue anyone was in there. I said I think she told me her name but I’m awful with names even sober so. He started getting kinda hostile and cutting me short. I repeated exactly what I told him the first time: I’m only speaking on what I witnessed and what I know to be true. So, if you and she are correctly reciting the time, place, person being accused, this accusation is untrue. He first makes a bitchy threat like “you know these girls who lie for these athlete boys can really get in trouble? They all end up broke after the NFL anyway if they even make it. Lying for a friend is illegal, that’s breaking the law and will get YOU in jail.” I lost all my fear of speaking to a police officer at this point because they KNOW this man did not just call me a liar to my face despite my 1:2 of the evidence already fucking up this accusation. I told him that I honestly wasn’t a fan either professionally or personally of “Lee” and I would lie for no one regardless of friendship or status about this, I’d turn in my own flesh and bloood brother and sing like a bird if I caught him doing any sex offender shit. So again, I told this slow man with 2 braincelle this was the reason I asked about how sure he was and he believed the victim was, on the time, place, person, etc. Officer says something along the lines of “well, something happened to this girl and this boy’s gonna be hurtin for it. Someone’s getting charged here.” Which I dunno bout y’all, maybe I’m reading it wrong. But What I gathered from that is: “I’ve decided to be judge and jury in this situation and moreorless declare this young man guilty despite evidence in front of my own eyeballs that shows that there is a good chance the accused is innocent.

I have no idea why this happened. But after we spoke to that dickhead cop it was dropped relatively quickly. I don’t remember now if she pulled the charges herself or the state denied to prosecute. And even still, this followed him. The internet is forever. When his great grandkids google his college career, that will show up. Please keep in mind this was a black athlete, playing ball for a big college in the south, with a white girl accuser, all the cops I saw at that station were white in the short time I was there and at least the one I spoke to had his mind made up. He was loud and clear about that. He said basically the same to my friend who was interviewed separately, that he was determined to convict him, he was “the one”. This city I’m speaking of has been sued for police brutality against BPOC and I’ve heard my friends/classmates getting called the N word (hard ER) in the broad, open day light. So yeah add that info in with the rest and come to your own conclusion.

Before anyone comes for my throat again: idk exactly what DID happen but I know what DID NOT. Which to be clear, is pretty specifically: this rape with this person, did not happen here and at this time. So I’m not saying something didn’t happen but under different circumstances. I know trauma can mess with memories and if something did happen under different circumstances, I am so sorry that happened to her, I wouldn’t wish sexual assault on my worst enemy. I’m also not saying she necessarily had ill intentions or knew it would proceed and go viral as it did. The point is I just don’t know, no clue. Not throwing any blame or shade her way, all blame and shade on that cop though. ACABs, no excuse for his ass.

Anyway, y’all don’t gotta believe this since it’s been a few years and I highly doubt that stuff is anywhere in my phone like 4 iPhones and two laptops later. No reason to front, I don’t gain anything by lying but a guilty conscience. But this scenario that I btw, very much did not wish to be a part of, showed me another side of things. Can we agree to yes of course, trust and support women but also trust evidence and testimony? While, yes, stats show few women lie about this, can we at the same time understand questioning and thoroughly investigating such a heinous crime? Can we also recognize the system is literally built to “serve & protect” some by severely and systematically oppressing others? There are people, too many damn people, who have lost absolutely everything, served major time in big boy maximum security 23-1s, and have been put to death, based on biases and little to no evidence.

Next time you see an accusation, regardless of what it is, please do a little research. Make your own conclusion. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want to be “convicted” (either legally or through SM bullshit) on a snip it of convo with almost no information/context? Called a rapist cause you led someone on? No. You wouldn’t. Actually for any crime for that matter. You would reasonably ask and expect for it to be fair, two sided, and with as much evidence or info as possible. So let’s treat musicians, athletes, influencers, celebs the same way. Let’s not condemn before gathering as much information as possible. If not, I am so afraid we will drive an innocent person to suicide. We would all feel so guilty if someone was driven to suicide over false or misleading statements. Let’s avoid this, please.

#2020 #people aint gon like this one #assault #SA #metoo #accusations #incarceration #also most importantly ACABs

[punkscowardschampions]

Fearghal & Kaitlin

Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]

[countessgreytea]

I stumbled upon a forum and started reading through some MM threads.  One anonymous poster had some interesting things to share in a thread from late September 2018: 

So, I volunteered/worked for the DOS during the end of her toronto years and the transition. I don't like to bash black industry because I feel it's vital for us to make our own opportunities and grow our own wealth, but this tea is absolutely true, and then some. Certain power players would absolutely fawn over her when they met her with her ex husband and when she went to audition would literally laugh in her face. I will defend her against anyone calling her a hooker. That's absolutely untrue. She made a lot of her extra money by befriending fashion people and ultimately getting paid for appearances at dinners/red carpets. She was an opportunist, but honestly if it were a dude, we wouldn't be judging him the way people judge her. I can honestly say that the relationship timeline given to the public regarding Harry is false. If you find that interview with her ex's mom and read between the lines, you'll see it. She has historically not been great with timelines. If people have questions I can answer a few. I'm still in touch with her because I've moved on to work for her friend who is very much in touch with her.

.....

So she and CV (the ex) were as good as engaged even around the end of April - they were both at my birthday dinner. CV is engaged to a singer and they have a baby on the way - that's how ready he was to start a family. He's a really good guy. Even now when I go in to one of his joints and he's around we chat and he offered his family vacation home for me to take my mom for a week. I don't often say this about white men, but I really respect him, he reminds me of my dad. It's a little hard to believe now, but she was more of an earthy Cali girl pre-prince, so they weren't super serious about a formal engagement. CV was totally head over heels and the only reason they were waiting was bc meg really wanted to branch into movies and do something meaningful before settling down with kids and moving into a travel/food show. "Think Bourdain meets Nora Ephron meets hippie chic" is what I wrote in my notes when we were writing up a proposal. I was actually really excited about it, I was going to work on the show. Priyanka Chopra has sorta copied the idea and but changed it so she meets famous people lol. (I have PC tea too, someone point me to a thread and I'll post). Prinze was seeing someone. I hope you'll respect that I won't spill bc that could get me into real trouble. He and nutmeg actually met in the run up to invictus, she "wanted to help" but this is code for wanted to make connections. When they met sparks flew and basically she was like damn issa prince and made her moves accordingly. There was a month between the breakup and the first date and the breakup actually wasn't "final" it was "just a break." She said she was feeling like she was in a rut. From date #1 onwards it was a whirlwind. It was really lovely to watch two people fall in love but very tough bc I knew what had gone down prior. As far as I know she is not pregnant, she is doing IVF though and it has caused a little bloat. That's why her clothes are rarely fitted. She'll be pregnant towards the end of the Aussie tour if all goes as planned. She is very calculating but I really respect her game. For example, that story about the corgis laying at her feet was planted bc white people love anything to do with dogs (I mean, so do the rest of us but white people don't have great attention spans, let's be totally real). She has a natural strategic intelligence from her mother. I cannot say enough wonderful things about her mother. Oprah and Iyanla got nothing on her, imo. This prince thing is the first time ms.meg did someone dirty since I started working for her. She secured the bag, so good for her, I guess.

.....

Made moves - set up the Wimbledon appearance and "happened" to be at the soho house hotel so prinze and her could see each other again. It's a hotel that the public doesn't have the same kind of access too. 

.....

about the engagement interview, and the corgi anecdote:

Oh girl, you don't even know what I did for that interview. Just because Harry told the story doesn't mean it wasn't planted. They planted in the interview so that people would go "aww." Think about the placement of that anecdote - right after they spoke about meeting family and how they'd spent a lot of time together in the past 1.5 years. The story was to push that narrative over the edge by associating it with a sweet story.

.....

Someone replied that MM was in Mexico when PH was in Toronto ahead of IG:

My girl, this doesn't mean we didn't reach out and get in touch with the invictus team. The Internet issa crazy thing!

.....

Whether PH knew about CV:

I actually don't know much about this side of the story - I worked for the DOS, not the prince. I never had access to her personal texts or anything. From what I felt though, I don't think he knew exactly how serious they were

.....

Sure! Auntie Dee has been through a lot in her own life. People haven't looked much into her own childhood, but there was family tension and abuse, but she never let that get her down. She was quick to compliment on good character "thank you for your honesty" "thank you for your grace" "i admire your strength." She really is crazy about yoga though, she says it helps preserve the body. She is not at all judgmental to people who do yoga the first time, including myself, and doesn't like that white women culture vulture yoga from Indians - she is fierce about respecting heritage. She loves gardening. She is lowkey a very strong Christian...idk how that fits with yoga tbh but she's cool with it. She is completely self-made and raised up several black women and other women of color in her professional life (yoga and social work and other artistic endeavours)

..... About the article with CV’s mom : “Mrs Vitiello surmises that Meghan and Cory had been apart for about three months before she first met Harry.”: 

Regarding that Daily Mail article: the specific wording is surmised. The meaning of the word surmise is to suppose something is true without having the evidence to confirm it. I know the person trying to poke holes in my tea won't believe it, but that specific word was fought over and eventually money was paid in order for that specific word to be used.

.....

I could be wrong here - I'm definitely not in her inner circle anymore (professionally there is no real room for upward movement, I started working for her blog so I could eventually work in digital publication and PR). I also know nothing about IVF - I just heard from my boss (her friend) that it causes bloat and it's really unfair that people judge her. I know for sure she is on IVF bc she needed an injection during her trip to Toronto and her PPOs were unhappy and my boss talked about it a lot.

.....

There are a lot of royal "rules" that the family must abide by that aren't normal for you and me, including medication. The physician must be present alongside the assistant to ensure that the shot has not been tampered with, etc. Remember, British royalty goes back to the days of people poisoning each other regularly, there are still archaic rules. I don't know more than that, I'm only peripherally in her life anymore. 

.....

someone asked about PH/MM’s dynamic:

I only saw the beginning, until the move to London. They are both demonstrative, but just from knowing her, I can tell she's a little more cautious in public - she doesn't want to seem too American/gauche. She'll probably relax as she has kids and sinks into her role, you know? It's tough to be totally yourself when you have so many eyes on you.

.....

Do the BRF like MM?

All I've been told is that they love her but they way it's been said seemed like the person who said it was trying to convince themselves as well as me. From emails and coordination purposes, "the firm" aka the staff took to her really well and Prince Chuck liked her a lot too. 

.....

What happened in Toronto with photographers before PH made his statement?

People were trying to break into her house and get onto the Suits set. She jetted to London one evening and eight hours later the statement had been released. It was released like 6 AM ET, I believe. 

.....

Her husband, as far as I know, was not a good dude. She never went into specifics but the person who worked for her prior alway said to forward any emails from him to her lawyer. Their relationship was not good. 

.....

About Suits, and were other family members at her wedding:

She speaks to the women and Rick, not so much Patrick and Gabe but was genuinely on good terms with everyone. I think she misses it, she tries to be normal by going about doing the same things she did in Toronto but I don't think it's the same. It's okay, she's a princess, she'll survive. Other family members were there, yes. 

.....

Oof, where you got all this sourness from? No bankruptcy, no jail (though she did work at correctional facilities). I think the living with her dad thing was just because of proximity to her school. I believe she spent Friday to Sunday evenings with her mom. 

.....

Her offering help with IG:

So she was not volunteering the way you or I would volunteer, but she was reaching out to ask whether she could lend her knowledge of Toronto and relationships with people there to help make things run smoothly. It's not really work, it's basically just talking lol. All these celebs who say they are the UN ambassador for whatever just go on paid vacations to poor folks' homes and film themselves being selfless aka playing with kids and then "lending their support" aka throwing a bit of money or "having high-level conversations." They were both in relationships at the time they first connected and the time they first met. She was looking to see if there was an opening for her, if that makes sense. The "first date" they talk about combines their first meeting and then the actual date after he expressed interest (they broke up with others to date, but remember, DOS told her ex that it was a break because she felt she was in a rut and not feeling connection with him). They definitely were texting a lot before the real first date.

.....

I never heard anything about this - if it's true, my apologies to the poster. I did not know everything about their lives. Doria did not strike me as someone who would file for bankruptcy but I know that many people "aren't the type"

.....

As far as I know Kate is cordial to DOS but you would really expect her to make more of an effort. There seemed to be some jealousy/distrust apparently. 

....

is she close with doria?:

I think they played up the closeness a bit during the "courtship" but from what I saw, they certainly became closer during that time too. I can say that she had been taking care of her mom financially when I was around.

.....

I know when she gets angry she tears up and gets very quiet. 

#mm #mmphbi #meghan markle #mine

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 5: Thoughts on The 100 2x03 Reapercussions

I am very tired and I should sleep but instead I’m going to bring my The 100 rewatch project out of hiatus yet again with Episode 2x03: Reapercussions.

I miss Anya so much!!!!! This is mostly my Dichen Lachman obsession showing but also the way she gives Clarke that ‘yeah, whatever’ look when Clarke says she’ll get her out of the cage... your Grounder fave could never.

The show honestly peaked with S2 and after this it should have abandoned all attempts at edginess because nothing will ever be more Pure Nightmare Fuel than the Mount Weather Grounder Cages.

Clarke/Anya: the ship that almost was.

So when Clarke takes Anya out of the prison room, she opens a door that says “End Containment Area” and underneath that it says “U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Mount Weather Containment Protocol.” And people really thought JRoth made this up omg learn some history.

Considering how they left things (Anya literally trying to kill her and all her friends) it’s actually pretty impressively selfless and magnanimous on Clarke’s part to not just rescue her, but immediately and unthinkably rescue her. On the other hand, Anya feels some remorse for leaving her people whereas Clarke’s like ‘here are some clothes [even though those random bandages are holding up pretty well??], let’s get a move on!’ (I know she intended to come back for them and she was being smart and practical but from the pov of, say, Jasper or Monty, this is cold as hell of her.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: early S2 Clarke is Peak Clarke: smart, sly, practical, brave.

Byrne mentions Earth Skills teacher “Davis” as being part of the search team for Bell et. al. My question: how many Earth Skills teachers did they have lol?

I fucking love this crashed-ship aesthetic omg I forget how much I love it and then I see it again....

“On the Ark, you did anything you wanted, without a second thought about the consequences.” Like mother, like daughter.

I ALSO miss Jasper and Maya. I’m probably like the lone person out there who still remembers them fondly but they were basically perfect because they were sweet but with the potential for a lot of darkness as well, my favorite combination.

WHERE’S MY ART SCHOOL JAYA AU?

So actually fun fact, that isn’t how the art work would have been stored in Mount Weather. They had special containers for the paintings to protect them and like a special cart thing to transport them quickly from their old homes to the bunker I read a book.

No one ever characterizes him this way sufficiently imo but Monty is really quite uptight in a way. Like first: don’t cockblock him man. And second: just chilll. This is probably why he used to smoke weed.

“Trouble? It’s Clarke. Whatever she’s up to, I’m sure she can handle it.” I mean.... he’s not wrong.

Except for the part where she’s covered in dead bodies. But even then...

So I always felt like the main point of the Reapers was as kind of a zombie police force for Mount Weather: to keep the Grounders scared of the Mountain, so they won’t poke around in it too much. Though of course they also collect Grounders, which is helpful, since the Mountain Men can’t walk that far from their home base (and, as stated, they probably want to keep most of that area Grounder-free anyway). But it occurs to me now that a third use of the Reapers is like dead-body collectors? The Mountain dumps the dead bodies out the trap door, and the Reapers take them away and eat them. So gross and efficient all at once. Mount Weather’s motto basically.

Murphy and his creating-a-distraction stones are still one of the funniest jokes this show has ever pulled, though if it were a quicker reveal after “something like that” it would be funnier.

Never mind, Bellamy appearing out of the bush is true underrated comedy gold,

That said, I feel like everything outside of the Mount Weather and Clarke stories here is filler.

Love! That! Ship!

Major Byrne says that Kane is on the verge of losing control of the camp but... I dunno.... everyone seems to be working together pretty well? Maybe if they had diversified the cast a little, not in terms of yet more Grounders but, like, non-leaders of the Ark, that would be more clear????

Okay, well, admittedly, when the Grounder prisoner is brought in they do start a mini-mob, lol. Also one of the delinquent’s fathers is shot, it would be cool if we knew who he was?? ETA: and then he dies and Abby’s like “does he have any family?” lol he just said that his son was one of the 100 so like obviously he does??

The costuming people, like the set people, really are the geniuses of this show. I love Clarke and Anya’s outfits, and Clarke’s hair somehow being both grungy and beautiful like THAT’s the apocalypse style I wanna see.

Also they absolutely 100% would have gotten together in the S2-S3 hiatus if Anya hadn’t been killed off.

“You saved my life because you needed me” IS true but she also did it absolutely without hesitation, even knowing Anya really quite truly hates her, so this speaks either to some foolhardy bravery mixed in with her practical thoughts, or just straight compassion, or both. I guess that sort of is a Clarke thing. She can be a grudge holder (seriously don’t tell me she isn’t: Wells????) but her grudges are NEVER more important than hard-nosed practical problem-solving.

Time for some gratuitous torture. Honestly, I like Season 2, it’s probably my favorite season, but it has some MAJOR filler problems. Like when it’s good it’s THE BEST but then other times it just doesn’t know how to fill 40 minutes so it resorts to pointless diversions (like Bellamy rappelling down the side of a mountain to save a character who is literally never seen again? for some reason?) or just straight out ugly violence for screaming’s sake (Raven’s surgery, Raven’s Grounder torture, Abby’s shocklashing, etc.) Like honestly I can’t even watch this. I’m just gonna browse tumblr until it’s done.

The Arkers really like the concept of “confessing” don’t they?

Like okay I’m not done WHAT IS THE POINT of this? It all but kills the whole Kabby vibe (I still lowkey ship them but sometimes I think...why?), it’s truly painful to watch, and it has no plot purpose AT ALL not even world-building because, lol, we know the writers don’t care to flesh out Camp Jaha in any real way.

Murphy is taking such sad glee out of instigating Finn’s madness/violence. The Luci of The 100 for sure.

This Bellamy story line is boring though I’m sorry. Some of these scenes (the Clarke or Mount Weather ones) I could watch a million times but this is like... kay, I know what happens already. So.

“There are some lines you can’t uncross.” I mean I think this show has actually shown that’s pretty untrue since people get over almost everything pretty fast. There’s always another horrific thing to do and/or experience!

Yeah my bitterness is seeping in.

Anyway when you come into an interrogation knowing what the “right” answer is, you’ll never learn anything, take note, stupid teenager boys + U.S. law enforcement.

Like honestly this Grounder is 500000x smarter than they are. He saves himself and rains gunfire and destruction upon his enemies. (Well, saves himself for a few minutes--but at least he got to cause harm to those he hates!)

“You thought I was the crazy one, huh?” Was Murphy ever crazy, though, or was he just coldly vengeful?

Speaking of coldly vengeful, Byrne could have been a potentially interesting character? Maybe? I’m not really into the type but as I said I want more Arkers wherever I can find them. And Kane needs real opposition. I have sympathy for him to a degree, but I also think he ultimately weakens rather than strengthens himself.

I love when Monty calls bullshit on stuff. “I can’t see Clarke? Try and fucking stop me, bitches.”

Jasper has such a big heart. Truly the emotional core of this friendship.

I like how Kane speaks as if his “diplomatic mission” of adults is so vastly different than Bellamy and Finn just going off on their own I mean, Byrne is little better than Finn? They’re both easily frustrated and fond of torture? It’s just that Byrne understands a chain of command--barely--that’s literally it.

How does it make literally any sense at all to shocklash a person one hour and make her the Chancellor the next? Like you’ve just encouraged the populace to think of her as nothing special, not above the embarrassing public application of extreme pain--but yes by all means expect them to fall into line behind her leadership. I mean I guess this sort of works if she was already somehow beloved (I guess I’m supposed to just believe that?) and now more sympathy has been generated for her--but such sympathy would seem to come at the expense of Kane. It would seem to be the opposite of what he, or really Byrne, was going for with that disgusting display. But whatever memory is a fiction I guess.

And they have this swelling-music romantic eye-fuck goodbye like??? He was just beating you!! JUST NOW!

What I’m getting out of Murphy advocating for killing the Grounder: first, he has a clear, cold, practicality not unlike Clarke, and two, he still thinks of the delinquents as his friends--how sweet. Two days ago he was killing them, holding them hostage, and stealing their ammo before a huge battle but still. Bygones.

This is not a great ep. for Bellamy leadership lol.

Finn executes a man, while wearing Clarke’s watch, in the place they had sex. Seems...symbolic?? IDK it’s late lol.

I miss Nyko a lot but also now that I’ve seen (part of) Slasher I’m not entirely sure I can ever see Ty Olsson in the same light.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they were literal brothers? Because I always assumed this was metaphorical but...was it? WAS IT?

Weird note to end on, I know. If patterns hold, it’ll be another 2-3 months before I do this again but I’ll try to be a little more on the ball about it.

#the year 2019 #2019: fandom thoughts #2019: the 100 s2 #the 100 #the 100 rewatch

[norman-reedus-gossip]

bulk

~~mod~~ OK here’s the bulk. ill add to the comments.  Before anyone asks my opinion on it or how i feel about it ill just say it.. I don’t care and Im not bothered by it,  I haven’t liked her for a very long time due to how she treated a close friend of mine, them together doesn’t change my fan-ness of him.   I know that there are others that don’t care some that are happy for him and i know that there are a large number of people out there you are angry , hurt and devastated. I get it and i want you all to be able to express that, but do me a favor and respects each others feelings and opinions and keep it medium.

Anon: I am devastated Mod. He lied to us. Blatantly and I will never forgive him for that. I can’t even look at anything he is in ever again. I just can’t believe I trusted him as much as I did. I believed his words when he spoke. Now I don’t know him at all. He is NOTHING like what he says he is. I hope they are ripped apart by media because he deserves everything now. It hurts me so much to say that because I used to defend everything about him. I don’t even know what to say about him now.

Brandi:Let’s tease this NR DK thing out a little. Anon:First off, good for Norman. She’s age appropriate and has some understanding of the entertainment industry and the pitfalls of it. AnonThat said, Norman works eight months out of the year in rural Georgia and works a ton outside of TWD. DK works predominantly in Europe. (I believe) When the heck are these two actually going to see each other? Anon:If her bad behaviour toward her fans/coworkers is to be believed, Norman may have trouble with this. Reedus is incredibly kind to people/fans, if she is rude to them, it might not go well for her, in Norman’s eyes. Anon:The earlier denial of his romance with DK is similar to what happened with CS. Did he not deny they where more than friends for ages?! I can’t blame him, I think he was protecting her, people where really hard on that girl. Anon:Just my two cents. Shine on you crazy diamonds.

Anon::My friend got it on good authority that Daryl will DIE in S8 because of all the negative publicity caused by NR sneaking around w/ DK. 😢 That he “came out” with their relationship per those photos taken in NYC last night to try to make himself look honorable. But AMC had already decided to kill him off bcause of the bad fan reaction to his affair with DK–denying it and such. AMC just now informed NR that Daryl will die in a battle w/ Negan. Totally crying right now. This cannot be true!?!?! 😭

Anon:He’s drunk in those pictures. He doesn’t look happy only drunk and nasty. It’s disgusting marching down the street being something he always claimed to hate. I’m done with him. Anon:Norman is completely full of bullshit.

normieslittletwign :  Well, I guess they’re official. The only thing that disappoints me is how it was handled. They should have “come out” as a couple right at the beginning and let the chips fall where they may. She could have said that her relationship with JJ was on the rocks for some time, that they’d been leading separate lives for awhile… whatever…. make shit up!! They’re only human and shit happens, the heart wants what the heart wants. IDK   But now Norman is (or may be) seen as a homewrecker. She may be seen as a cheater all because no one knows when this relationship started.   To be caught mere weeks after releasing an “official statement” that they are “just friends”… SMH. The pics are *not* of people who are “just friends”.   I also feel for fans who have put Norman up on such a high pedestal… they must be devastated!!   For the record, I’m still a fan of and still like Norman. He has a very unique personality, I quite like his acting and a number of his movies, not to mention TWD. But then again, I never put him on a pedestal and read too much into his interviews. I most likely will never meet the guy and I’m OK with that. And if I did, I’d just be another fan who wants a pic or an autograph.   To be honest, I’ve never wanted to meet *any* celebrity. I’m one of the biggest Iron Maiden fans around (36 years and counting… am I aging myself? lol) and if I go to my grave having never met any of the members of Iron Maiden (or any other band or actor I admire) it won’t bother me a bit. But that’s probably just me.   You know, God himself could hand pick a lovely woman for Norman and she still wouldn’t be seen as being good enough for him by the “lunatic-fringe” fans.  Now to sit back and watch the shit-storm. I’ve noticed on Norman’s Instagram he’s already feeling the heat… sadly.

dixonimagines:On the DK thing: Are they f*cking 13 years olds, making out in a street corner like they can’t rent a hotel room? I enjoyed meeting him this year but I will never again pay another cent to meet him. Not only is he a liar but also freaking dumb one. Why lie when he knew he would be outed sooner or later? I do not feel betrayed but I cannot continue being a fan of someone who is dumb enough to put his fandom at risk for a fling with some woman. He is no better than most of us.

Anon:i don’t particularly like DK, but I also don’t think she’s the evil bitch that some make her out to be. Whatever their relationship is, it’s theirs to explore and pursue. N looks happy in the pics and that’s good enough for me. I’m actually more concerned about Mod being bombarded with the Insanity 😰Sending you 🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃, Mod, stay gold!

Anon:I feel like this has been explained ad nauseum (though ppl choose not to listen) but *some* fans are upset this couple began by breaking up Diane’s 10+ yr relationship. So it was cheating then 2+ years lying, with fans defending him against cheating rumors. Is it really that hard to understand that some may take it personally because they defended him, or because they’ve experienced relationships broken by cheating? “As long as the cheaters are happy who cares” is a rather ignorant response.

Anon:Can I just point out how happy Norman looks in the pics with DK? Anyone who can make Norman’s smile that wide is good with me. I wish them so much happiness ❤

Anon:Did pR’s reps genuinely not know he was seeing DK? The just friends comment is making less and less sense 🙈

Anon:To all those defending Norman saying he is entitled to a private life YES he is. But these shots were staged for the paps, he has chosen to forgo his privacy, and expect more like this to come. Everyone in the industry knows these types of relationships are biz deals, he couldn’t give a fuc what anyone thinks, he is as hollywood, elite and privileged as they come. He does not deserve defending. So many of his fans so naive and gullible.

Anon:for people that are saying ‘oh get over it’ or 'why taking this so personally’ its not that the question. Norman lied since day one when it came to all this mess. He lied that he didnt cheat JJ with her. He lied when said they were just friends 3 weeks ago. he lied when he said he loves honest people. he lied when he said he doesnt understand cheating…i mean this is years and years of lies and people believing he was one thing when he was other. its too many lies

Anon:Lol honestly I’m not even his fan and i feel like i could cut a bitch now because i was here trying to prove that he was better than the rumors that were always circling around. I saw on him a good guy trying to break bad habits and i feel fucking offended with this! lol i mean he is a 48 year old men why lie? he didnt need all of this…unless he had another thing going (which we all know its rumored to have) and someone dropped someone and he went on the easy root. sad excuse of a man sorry.

Anon:Now i get why he is friend with Balthazar Getty, which in my opinion, is the ultimate douchebag of Hollywood….Norman is exactly the same. Nobody cant deny people..he is a  sleezy liar. Hope he likes to see his daily life on daily mail from now on.

Anon:the fact that norman played the game of the 'honest'person and he hates liars makes me sick. He lied to everyone. No he doesnt owns us anything but he denied any romantic link with her 3 weeks ago. this to me is beyond ridiculous. I guess she got what she wanted and he once again is going along because its comfortable to him and guarantee he have his dick wet at least once a week…but the rest?? i feel sorry for the fans that always believed how good guy and true to himself he was.

Anon:I guess I have mixed feelings about the whole DK relationship. He does look really happy and I personally don’t care who he is with. But why all the sneaking around and lying? I can only think of one reason they would do that. They wanted to make the cheating rumors look untrue. To me the cheating rumors now look true. I am still a fan of his but I don’t think I will spend the money to see him if he comes to the Walker Stalker near me.

Anon:They are both scum. Anon:Up till now I always gave him the benefit of the doubt, but I feel like the biggest fool alive now. He really is a LIAR!! Yuck, so disappointed in him 😳.

Anon:I just feel sorry for the people that believed in him. They have been duped/snowed/hoodwinked by a professional liar and all around horrible person.

Anon:Let’s Please try to not make Norman and DK’s relationship about us. It has nothing to do with lying to fans, manipulating fans, or laughing at fans. There’s no personal insult to his fans here. It’s just them letting the world know on their terms, not ours. In other news, I’m so glad he looks happy. His kid is growing up, his job has got to be ending in the next few years (sorry but that’s just reality), and he deserves some joy as he figures out what to do next.

Anon:I truly don’t get all the DK hate. And w/ those pics coming out today, I’m sure it will only get worse. How about everyone just be glad he’s in an age appropriate relationship this time? I mean, I can’t be the only one who was completely grossed out by the 18 year old, right?

Anon:I am completely done with him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for so long and I am mostly an optimistic person…But this is just disgusting. IDC who he dates tbh…But this snake???? And the cheating??? Breaks my heart. It’s awesome that he gives his all to his fans but I think it feeds his narcissistic ways. Sorry Norman…You will live your life whatever you want to…You’re a grown man (sometimes)

Anon:Sending you tons of nachos and lots of alcohol for the incoming shitstorm. If you need anything else let me know.

Anon:I just did a google searched on the latest on NR, and there is a picture of what appears to be N kissing DK right in plain view of a pap. Rather this is the real deal or simply a PR move on behalf of DK herself, N and D are together. Love it or hate it, we don’t have a say in who he dates and I personally wouldn’t want to because I wouldn’t want people to do the same to me.

Anon:Sorry something is not right , your people denied the rumours 3 weeks ago and then you come out hand in hand with her , plus it doesnt look kissing to me but ok , im dissapointed in him , but i will still be a daryl fan !

meags672:This night out was obviously their 'coming out’. They both look very happy to me! Good for them. Its about time!

Anon::Ohhhh mod. ALL OF THE WHISKEY AND NACHOS FOR YOU!!!! Anon:It’s official. Norman is a cheater and liar. They are both gross and deserve each other. They deserve every ounce of hate they get. #shittypeople Anon:its confirmed, they are a couple. bye bye norman. i don’t support lying little cheating sneaks

superleeleehipster:I am sending two bottles of whiskey your way and some nachos… followed by chocolate cause this is gonna get crazy for another week :p

Anon:So umm… how are Norman’s reps gonna say they’re “just friends” again when there are pics of them holding hands and making out? Anon:Those “just friends” look very very happy. I think you all should be happy for him.

Anon:she went to paris to support her friend, just friends, that what friends do, right. but not the show in spain bc why. tho she goes out so ppl see her there. no pap or fan shots of her in fr or ger. why none in ny until some of him show up. guess they r friends who dont hang out in public. btw why never any fan pics of her any where, does she not have fans. just pap shots around him

Anon:Bye bye Norman. You’re canceled. It’s official, they are together. Eonline posted pics of them kissing and holding hands while smiling and walking around in NYC yesterday. They really made it official after denying everything just three weeks ago. It makes me so sick to see DK all happy. Disgusting ain’t even a damn word about what I feel

Anon:Norman died for me. Did you see the eonline pics? He’s holding hands and kissing DK in PUBLIC. They walked around and had the biggest smiles on their faces. What an incredible disgusting piece of trash Norman is. Disappointment is not even a word how I feel right now. Sorry if I’m going to unfollow you but I don’t want to see anything about him anymore.

Anon:Seriously not a fan any longer. You can date who you want, but why lie about it 3 weeks before going public? That makes you shady in my book and I don’t support shady people.

[bloggers---anonymous-blog]

August 9th 2018

I didn’t do much today which is fine by me. I mostly stayed home there was one point I left my house but that was just because I had to return my library book. On my way to the library I noticed 3 guys who were probably in the their early to mid 20s. They were on skateboards. Okay, whatever, who cares? Well it’s a little important to the story, so on my way home I decide I wanted to take the long way and I see these guys again. I am one of those people where with group of men are around I’ll turn down my music (when I walk around town I am listening to music). Doing this allows me to really listen to what they are saying so I can try to stay safe, I don’t know why but I wasn’t looking at my phone while doing so. Which is also something I normally do when I feel unsafe passing some people. Anyways, they were at the pre-school using their steps(which there isn’t many) doing tricks or whatever. I watched the one guy wipe out so hard, it was kinda funny(he was okay though) the thing that made it funny was after he got back up and he was trying to say how if they were at the local college that he would have done a lot better and that he wasn’t crappy at skateboarding. Well from my judgement of what happen he was kinda bad and it sounded like his manhood got hurt after that wipe out.

(Side note as I was pretty much away from them I heard the guy who wiped out say that he thought he may have broken his phone from that fall) the local college has like no stairs too but it is pretty much all hills. So, it’s kinda like if you can’t do a simple trick with not a lot of stairs and a flat surface how are you going to do that same trick at the school where it’s all hills? Oh well. Not my problem. 

The thing that kinda annoyed me today for a little bit was a boy from tinder (I know I should probably get off tinder), well he’s not important to my life so we are just going to call him tinder boy. Well tinder boy and I have been talking (you can’t even call it talking honestly) on snapchat for a little bit now. I think maybe a week, anyways the only reason I gave him my snap was because he said he was going to send me a picture of his dog. Let me tell you this he has a cute ass dog, and I knew of that before I even gave him my snap because he had a picture of his dog up. He only really sends me memes and pictures of this dog. (they aren’t even good memes either) I made a comment to him today asking him to tell me something about himself so we could have an actual conversation that wasn’t just dog pictures and memes. This guy says “no u” and takes a screenshot so I ask him why he took a screenshot and he just sends me a winky face and say Nicci did(Nicci is his dog) so I’m kinda like No, really why did you? so he tells me “accidente” then sends me a bunch of bitmjios so at this point I’m kinda like really? You are a 26 year old man acting this way. Come on. I didn’t say that to him (even though I really wanted to). He kept taking screenshots so I text him back I don’t know how someone accidentally screenshots something like 3/4 times. Then he sends me idk? like two times and sends me a bunch of memes. So, I’m over it at this point(but looking back at it he was so trolling me) then asks me what I want to know and I want to know whatever you’ll tell me... heres the thing about this guy he sends a bunch of messages at once its never just one so the next thing went like this:

Lol

What haha

Ask me a question

What u want from me

A life story ?

So i’m like no just random facts I don’t need a life story then he says

Hmm

I run a computer shop

And look at memes

Boom

Facts bruh

At this point I am still giving him a chance and I ask what made him want to run a computer shop. He tells me his Dad ran it. At this point I’m thinking cool we’re getting somewhere... then he says he started off fixing typewriters, 349 years ago and sent a bitmjio again. At this point I was just done and I said K. Then here comes a spam of messages saying “about that time, I, K, What, K what lol, I’m kinda lost here, Ur usually rude, Whys that, I don’t recall being rude, I send dog pics, What’s the deal” (the commas are separating each message) Then I said “How am I normally rude? We don’t ever talk. I’m trying to get to know you so we can actually talk but its just doesn’t seem like you care so it’s just K. Then he left me on read for like hours then send a crappy meme and said Okie dokie. I kinda left him on read cause I was in the middle of the last day of my five hour course(it was break when I looked at his message) I just left him on read maybe later I’ll message him back and be like if you wanna actually get to know me just let me know. I probably will just to see what he does.

I passed my five hour course now it’s time to take my road test. I’ll probably take that in October and once I pass my road test I won’t be that lame 18 year old who doesn’t have their license anymore. Funny thing is when the teacher was going through the test and set aside three papers and those were the tests that failed. I look at the person who I was sitting next to (I actually know that guy. I’ve known him for like 3 years now I believe) and I said “watch my test was one of those papers that failed”. The teacher called out the names who failed and then said that those people actually got all 100s. I look at the teacher and I just tell him that was cruel. You know what he did? Of course you don’t know you weren’t there, but if you were there hi I guess. Anyways, he just laughs and pretty hard too and says yeah that was cruel. 

I was talking to one of my parental units today about something my oldest sister(we’ll call her Ava) said to me a while ago. I honestly feel so bad for this parental unit cause my brother(we’ll call him Aaron) thinks (s)he hates his guts (his reason is because he’s the only son) but that is so untrue! Aaron doesn’t even know that half the time he gets invite to things at Ava’s house is because my parental unit tells Ava to invite him. Ava and her jackass of a husband, Axl, don’t think of inviting him. I could complain about Ava and Axl for such a long time so I’ll save that for another day. Aaron total has their memories that were dreams that he thinks was real because he tells me all this stuff and it’s just out of the blue for this parental unit. Then Ava thinks this parental unit is always leaving her in the dark when it comes to important things and the only reason why I know this is because I called Ava out on leaving me in the dark all the time. Ironically Ava had many excuses for doing so to me. I don’t know I just feel like the black sheep of the family. I always feel like I’m left in the dark not from just Ava but my other sister, Aria, too. It just really sucks because I really look up to Aria but I feel like she hates me. I don’t really wanna get into that feeling right now because I was writing about it the other day before I started my blog and I cried. Back to what I was saying though Ava just doesn’t get it that the stuff she doesn’t get invite to is the stuff that this parental unit has no control over. (S)He doesn’t have control over it because someone else is running the plans if that makes sense. Then the other stuff Ava could just look up herself, since it’s all in the family facebook group page (my family on one of the sides of my family has a group with a bunch of family members in it so we can all be kept up on whats going on) so that’s her own fault if she doesn’t know really.

I just love my parental units so much, they give us everything. All my siblings are moved out (I’m the youngest of five) and my parents still give them everything. In fact Ava took one of our ACs last summer and we had to buy a new one. I think we all take for granted our parents. I have wonderful parents and I think they are amazing. I know sometimes it doesn’t know, but I try. I try real hard to be a good child, it’s just so hard. I’ve never done drugs(unlike Ava and Aaron... I don’t know if Aria has or not) I don’t ever drink and I know all my siblings before they were 21 was getting shitfaced. I mean I think I’m wildly different from them, I also just never had any interest in those kind of things (drugs or alcohol). There’s just a lot that makes me feel like I’m the black sheep of the family but I don’t feel like getting into it at all right now. Like I said I try so damn hard but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough that some how I just... I don’t know. My mind kinda all foggy right now.

#mental health #personal #parents #family #random people #skateboarders #random tinder boys #writing #creative writing #snapchat #I don't know how else to tag this #well-this-is-my-blog #8/9/18 #8/9/2018

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I saw Buster: Where are you going? Rio: Not decided Buster: How much do you have in your account? Rio: Loads Rio: Great stream, like Rio: despite some vocal haters Buster: Yeah Buster: Get as far as you can then Buster: Fuck him Rio: I won't, that's the problem Buster: Like that's his only problem Rio: No need to tell me Rio: don't recommend you engage with him but Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Nothing Rio: Not forgotten how you feel about it, like Rio: not expecting sympathy Buster: Don't be like that Rio: Why not Buster: 'Cause I ain't him Buster: Don't treat me like I am Rio: Sorry Rio: idk what to do Buster: Come here Rio: I can't Buster: Why not? Rio: Plenty of reasons Rio: For one you don't wanna see me Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: Try and tell me otherwise Buster: Rio Buster: I want to see you Rio: Maybe I'll just fake out and stay Rio: how sad would that be Rio: unforgivable or? Buster: 'Course not Buster: You can do whatever you want Rio: Can I? Rio: 'cos Ryan don't reckon so Buster: What does that cunt know about anything? Rio: Enough to drag my name through the dirt Rio: that's for sure Buster: Enough that he has to try Buster: He knows he fucked up when he lost you but that's all he has a clue about Buster: And he was punching above his weight since day 1, he's also gotta be aware of that Rio: Nah Rio: he just hates me Rio: not wrong with what he's saying but Buster: Shut up Buster: That's bullshit Buster: He's got no right to hate you Rio: Maybe not but Rio: I get it Rio: nothing he says is untrue Rio: just wish he didn't care Buster: Fuck that Buster: I bet most of what he says is utter bullshit Rio: Nah Rio: hand him the ammo, don't I Buster: It's not your fault he's fucked in the head, babe Buster: Don't talk shit Rio: Just 'cause he's obsessed don't mean he ain't got a point Rio: whether I like it or not Rio: probably why it makes me so mad Rio: my easy money called into question Buster: Stop it Buster: You could leaving a nun life and he'd still wanna find ways to make you feel bad Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Maybe Rio: unlikely to find that out any time soon Buster: Good Buster: Don't change for him Buster: He's worth shit, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Still dictating shit regardless Rio: laughing with it Rio: why did I rise to it Buster: 'Cause you've had enough Buster: It's been going on so long Rio: How awful that I wish he'd just get a new girlfriend already Rio: why would I want that for anyone Buster: 'Cause you want rid Buster: I don't blame you Rio: Promise? Buster: I swear Buster: Don't blame yourself either Rio: Hard not to Rio: I did it Rio: so stupid Buster: You're not stupid Rio: Yes I am Rio: What was the point Buster: Shut up Buster: You're smarter than him Buster: And me Buster: We both know it's my fault you fucked Curtis Buster: I would've made it up to you if Indie didn't have other ideas, like Rio: Oh yeah 😂 high school dropout with one shit job and one dubious one Rio: genius, like Buster: You're not funny, doesn't mean you aren't smart Buster: So stop Rio: I don't want to Rio: can't Rio: idk Buster: What do you want? Buster: Seriously Rio: Am I meant to know? Rio: I don't Rio: I'm not like you, clever, whatever you want to call it Rio: I have no clue what I'm doing or why Buster: I don't buy it Buster: I know you've got goals Buster: You're as motivated as I am Rio: Why are you being nice Rio: not letting me mope Buster: 'Cause he keeps hurting you Buster: And like I said, I ain't him Buster: That and you won't let me kill him Rio: Can't be the egomaniac that tries to fight their own case Rio: never ends well, babe Buster: Don't underestimate me, babe Rio: 😂 Rio: just trying to give you a little dose of reality Buster: Bit late, don't you reckon Rio: I'm a tryer Buster: Yeah? Rio: You know it Buster: Don't give up then Rio: don't worry, at an airport, not the traintracks or bridge Buster: Hilarious Buster: Decided where you're going yet or what Rio: I'll check where's cheapest and where's going the minute I decide I wanna Rio: doesn't matter really Buster: 'Course it matters Buster: Going to a shithole isn't gonna cheer you up Rio: I mean Rio: I won't go to... Rio: Yugoslavia? idk Rio: somewhere sunny'll cut it Buster: 😂 Rio: just trying to hype your postcode Rio: i 👀 you Buster: I reckon its got itself covered Buster: And I ain't gotta hype me Rio: You have put those hours in by now, yeah 😜 Buster: Just you wait, babe Buster: Barely started with you Rio: I know Rio: Can't even blame all those false starts on how hot I am Buster: Welcome back Rio: 😏 Rio: Wishing you could be holding that sign at Heathrow, babe Buster: Obviously Buster: Really missing you, like Rio: Really feel it Buster: Good Rio: Well Rio: looks like I'm off to Spain Buster: I'll see you around then Rio: yeah? Rio: cool Buster: How long are you gonna be gone? Rio: just a few days Rio: can't leave indie Buster: I can check in Buster: She'd love it Rio: hmm Buster: You know she would Rio: yeah Rio: but i don't Rio: thank you very much Buster: What do you think is gonna happen? Buster: she's a kid Rio: an insatiable kid Rio: with no boundaries Buster: She ain't got any maybe but I do Rio: Some, like Rio: don't get carried away Buster: Fuck off Rio: What? Rio: Just saying Rio: too late to put some back in place Buster: Am I meant to care? Rio: Probably Rio: you still haven't realised? Buster: What? Rio: I'm going to fuck you up Buster: You wish, babe Rio: I seriously don't Rio: but I will if you let me Buster: The only way you can hurt me is the way I like Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: Okay Rio: you better be right Rio: i tried to stop this, let the record show Buster: I'm always right, babe Buster: And I'm sick of being stopped Rio: Same Rio: I wish it had been you Rio: sorry if you don;t wanna hear it Buster: It's alright Buster: I know Rio: what a mess Buster: I wish I could make you forget everybody else Rio: you could Rio: don't pick now to be humble Buster: Seriously though Buster: I hate that your exes get to treat you how they do Rio: Know how to pick 'em, right Buster: Yeah Rio: Tragic Buster: I ain't one to talk Rio: Yeah Rio: Right pair Rio: Commiserate with me Buster: I'll take a drink Rio: Sláinte baby Buster: Cheers Rio: what are you doing Buster: An assignment Buster: Technically Rio: Oop, my bad Buster: Yeah 'cause I'd rather study Rio: Should Rio: be a good boy Buster: Fuck should Rio: honestly Rio: tut tut Rio: what am i gonna do with you Buster: Everything Buster: And anything you want Rio: promises, promises Buster: What else do you want me to give you? Rio: just all of you Buster: I'll get myself to the airport then, shall I Rio: don't be moody Rio: everyone's in a mood with me Rio: i'm trying to be good Buster: I ain't Buster: I just want to actually be able to come with Rio: I know Rio: time alone will probably be good for me though, you who came for me on that, right? Rio: but i'll be thinking about you Rio: a lot Buster: I know Buster: You need to go Rio: Next time Rio: I'll come to you Rio: not because I'm running from someone else, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: Am I being weird Rio: I'm airport drunk Buster: I like it Buster: Just make sure they let you on the plane, babe Rio: oi Rio: i'm a calm composed lady Rio: and there's a hen party on my flight who are gonna need all the handling so Buster: 😂 Buster: slip the hot ones my number, like Rio: no. Rio: you can't do any handling from there anyway hush Buster: Like I said, don't underestimate me, babe Rio: always want me to do your work for you Rio: your type ain't mine, trust Buster: We've already established your type ain't worth nobody's time Rio: fuck off Rio: girls are different Buster: You've got a type of girl too then? Rio: duh Rio: i celebrate all things woman, that's my whole job Buster: where's those exes, like? Rio: 😂 Rio: suddenly interested Buster: No shit Rio: typical bloke 😏 Buster: Not yours thank fuck Buster: So glad to be a different class Rio: you want me to feel offended? Rio: thought he weren't my fault Buster: I'm not shading you just the lads you've been with Buster: 'Cause he's the worst, yeah, but he ain't the only twat, is he Rio: what you gonna do about it, boy? Rio: you wanna matchmake for me? get me a 💎 Buster: I'm gonna give you better Buster: Then you won't wanna go back to all that bullshit Buster: All you gotta do is keep up Rio: Yeah? Rio: Never had a problem with that Rio: just don't keep me running circles 'round you forever Buster: You must be drunk if you're dropping the f bomb Rio: ha no Rio: just feels like forever Buster: One thing I can't argue with you about Rio: too right Rio: so shh Buster: I'm not in the library I'll be as loud as I want, cheers Rio: say something worthwhile then please Buster: Take lots of pics for me while you're away, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: tan progress, naturally Rio: or if you're in the market for some nice bikinis Rio: got you, babe Buster: Standard Rio: will you call me Rio: i'm already lonely Buster: Now? Rio: No, you're working hard Rio: or meant to be Rio: but when i'm there and you've finished Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't have to Buster: I know I don't Rio: 😔 Rio: want me again Rio: i'll make it up to you Buster: I haven't stopped Buster: You know I can't Rio: but don't want to stop Buster: I want you Buster: That's all Rio: i'm going to make it so worth it i swear Rio: i know its been too long Buster: I've wanted you for years, babe Buster: I can handle waiting Rio: I can't Rio: I'm so mad at the world Rio: leave us alone for 15 minute god Buster: You sure you don't want me to call you now? Rio: 😈 Rio: Not my ideal mile-high fantasy with you obviously but Rio: I need it Buster: Maybe not but I've still thought about it Buster: Been thinking about it since you said you were at the airport Rio: You're really gonna need me to check that essay for typos then, babe Rio: I'm not going to the bathroom, so you do the telling and I'll be trying my best to stay quiet, yeah? Buster: Having you on my desk is a fantasy for another day Buster: Until then, yeah Buster: cum for me quietly that'll be a new one Rio: Sadly Rio: Fuck me 😍🤤 Rio: I love a challenge, yeah Buster: I love that either way I win Rio: I see no real downside Rio: you're going to make me cum either way Rio: whether i get forcibly removed from the plane is another thing but come on guys, be cool Buster: Well, if you are you know who to call Buster: Least I can do, like Rio: reckon they'd just fly through to spain, like Rio: no point coming back Rio: me sat there in cuffs Rio: getting too kinky Buster: 😂 Buster: I don't reckon there'll be many complaints Buster: They'll appreciate it if anything Rio: in flight entertainment Rio: not a male stripper, soz girls but you know you love it Buster: Put me there on the facetime if they get mad about it Rio: 😂 Rio: let you steal my thunder this once 'cos at least i'll get to see too Buster: you're all welcome, like Rio: save the best for just me though Buster: I will if you do Rio: Promise Buster: Okay Buster: I'm calling