#so for now... am stuck in the procreate mines for anything that i want to look nice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-fiction-witch · 3 years

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Control P15

TV SHOW THE QUEENS GAMBIT COUPLE:BENNY X READER RATING: SWEET AF!!!!

I went and got the door as y/n went to make some coffee I opened the door letting Wisse and Luke into the apartment the three of us muttering about this and that as they headed inside "Hu, benny?" Wisse asks

"Yeah?"

"who's the fat old braud?"

instantly I smirked a little trying not to laugh as she turned around and looked like she was about to murder him "You have a will right Wisse?"

"Yeah why?"

"Becuase... she is gonna kill you" I smirked going to sort the chessboard up

"Come here you little!" she yelped going to try and grab him but I up an arm around her and lifted her off the floor enough she couldn't get out my grip "No benny let me at him!" she complained till I put her down

"Boys, Y/n y/l/n I'm sure you've met before" I told them

"Ohh yeah, Hi y/n" Luke smiled getting himself a seat at the table

"Hu, I didn't recognise you, sorry y/n" wisse smiled "What uhh... what is she doing here?"

"I live here" she argued

"lives here? Ooooooohhh Benny got a girlfriend" Luke laughs

"Yes. I did"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I... I don't have a response to a yes as an answer"

"so shut up"

"You guys actually a couple then?"

"Yep, very happily" Y/n smiled

"Extremely happily" I smiled giving her a kiss

"Lucky dick got the cute girlfriend" Luke sighed

"cute fience" I corrected

"Really? your gonna hitch yourself to him?" Wisse laughed

"Hey!" I complained

"Well, I suppose I have to" she giggled stroking her baby bump

"what!" Luke laughed excitedly

"can you guys not tell?" she laughed

"Awwwwww there's gonna be a tiny baby!" Luke smiled

"why!" wisse complained "why would you let him procreate? I thought we all collectively agreed to not let his genetics get anywhere else?"

".... when did you agree that?" I complained

"Like six Christmas' ago" luke shrugged

"well it's a bit late for that, he's due next month" she smiled

"she" I corrected

"He" she giggled

"Now we playing or not?" Luke asked

"Course, you rest up you need anything you ask okay," I told her so she nodded going to read her book on the chair

I sat playing with the guys a good while, y/n kept out of it mostly reading her chess books on the chair, she would bring drinks and food whenever we needed it even if all of us told her no she should rest baby but she did it anyways, it was getting late and she was getting tried I could tell as she was watching a game her little eyes would sometimes flutter shut, her head sometimes would droop but whenever I blew her a kiss she'd perk up again for a moment or two. "I think it's bed time for mummy. You boys have fun" she smiled as she slowly pushed herself up stroking her bump "Okay, we'll be quiet, you rest up alright" I told her taking her hand "I will" she smiled "Sleep well y/n" wisse smiled "Rest that tiny human growing in your person oven y/n" luke laughed She gave my head a kiss before she slowly walked into the bedroom getting ready for bed I focused on the game for a good while but I couldn't take my eyes off her, the door to our bedroom open just a crack just enough I could still see her, laid on our bed, her head on the pillow, the gentle orange light casgading across her, her hair all over the place, her face so peaceful and sireen, her little nightie holding her so tight where she was growing so much, her book open on her page it fallen on the duvet her hand still holding it the other on the pillow, I rested my head on my hand just watching her sleep so peacefully her bump rising and falling in the covers "Dude I think benny's broke I just checked him." Wisse says "Not broke. He's got a pregnant wifey it's gonna be a distraction. I mean look I can wave a hand in his Face and nothing" luke laughed "Benny? You in there man or have you shut up shop tonight?" "Hu? Ohh sorry guys" I sighed "I think I think I need to turn in too. And I can't leave her all alone she can't sleep without me" I smiled "well finish up another time maybe once baby comes" "Alright, see you around" wisse laughed we all said our goodbyes and they both left so I shut up and went climbing into bed with her "You didn't have to Benny, I could have waited till you-" "Shhhh. You where sleepy. I should have kicked them out hours ago so you could sleep." "But chess-" "Shhh, sleep. You and our baby are more important" "Nothing is more important then chess to you" "You are. And so's baby." I told her "I have to take care of my girls. Besides I was tried too and you know I can't sleep without you either" "Okay Benny if your sure" "Of course I'm sure little lady, now you rest that tummy shouldn't be long now till baby comes"

I woke up softly and gently "Uuummmm good morning little lady, and my sweet little baby" I smiled trying to cuddle her but something was wrong. The bed felt wet. Her body was shaking. Her hand in mine in a death like grip, "Benny! Something's wrong!" She yelled "What! What's wrong!" I asked quickly waking up seeing her she was panicked, sweaty, in alot of pain the sun not even up yet "I think baby's coming" "Baby's coming! Are uhh are you sure?" "I don't know, I couldn't sleep because of my tummy and then I had an accident and now it won't- aaahhhhhh!" "Okay... Okay... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pack the bag! I think right? Yes! Pack!" I said trying to remember what the hell I was gonna do getting out the bed and starting to pack her back "what was I meant to pack?" "BENNY!" "I'm sorry y/n I forget" "It's on the list in the fridge. Now hurry up!" She yelled turning to sit on the edge of the bed, I grabbed the list and packed he's a quick bag getting myself dress too "Right next uhh we need to get you to the hospital, but I don't think an ambulance is really worth it, then again I get stuck in traffic, what I'd the car breaka down I can't deliver a baby! What if the ambulance has to stop for baby to be born and then our kiss born in an ambulance? Do I have everything, did you want anything before we go little lady? A drink, some food? A shower? Do your hair maybe?" "Benny... There is currently what feels like a human being with a watermelon sized head trying to force its way out of my Virgina, Get your skinny ass in that car and take me to a fucking doctor now!" "Okay, okay." I nodded realizing how panicked I was I helped her up and out into the car with her bag, I quickly locked up and by the time I got back she was screaming "okay it's all gonna be okay, just try not to focus on the pain" I reassured her "Easy for you to say!" "Right let's get baby to the doctor" "Now!" She screamed putting my car into drive for me almost making us hit a lamppost "Y/n I understand your in-" "BENNY! DRIVE THE FUCKING CAR!" She screamed "Or I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHOVE EVER CHESS PIECE YOU OWN UP YOUR ASS!" "Yes dear" I gulped quickly getting the car going

I dropped y/n off and the nurses happily took her, I went and got parked and rushed into the office they directed me to the little seating area where a few other men sat waiting "But I - I promised her I'd be with her" "Sorry we can't allow it she's a six thirteen" "Six thirteen what does that mean?" "I'm sure the doctor will explain later sir please take a seat" I sighed and went taking a seat waiting till one of the other men spoke up "Hey? First?" "Yeah." I answered "It never gets easier kid" he laughs coming to sit in the chair beside me "I just... I wanna be with her you know make sure she's okay" "Hey, she's a fucking lot stronger then you think she is" he laughs "this is our fourth. I always worry about her. At the end she always tells me not to worry" he laughs "Yeah, she's a strong one. I know she is" I smiled "do you know what a six thirteen is?" "Yeah," "Please. I just wanna know" "It means there's been a complication, and everyone non essential has to be kept out for safety" "Something's wrong?" "It could be something small, like breach, or backwards or anything like that" he shurgs "or a c section. They class that as a six thirteen" "Oh God." "Relax it's probably nothing" he says "my boy was a six thirteen. Came out backwards the stupid boy" "Well I guess it's just a waiting game" "Pretty much kid" We sat chatting about this and that for a few hours or so it was getting late now, or early. Not sure which to class or as but everyone would peek up whenever a nurse came around the corner and just as the sun began to peak over the windows a nurse came "Watts?" "Yes!" "Follow me please" she says I nodded and followed her to a little room but she didn't open the door, "baby is born. Happy and healthy. Mummy's doing fine if a little stressed we'll start getting sorted to get her home congratulations" she smiled before she headed off, I was excited happily opening the door to the little hospital room the blinds open letting the sweet purple, orange and gold of the sunrise flood the room, and there on the bed was y/n sat up a little shaken her hair a mess, a smile on her face with a job I'd never seen before, and in her arms wrapped up in a little yellow blanket was a tiny little baby only moments old. The baby was giggling ever so softly as y/n stroked the baby's skin I'd never seen something so beautiful I wanted to cry "Hello y/n" "Hello Benny" she smiled "come" she smiled patting the little chair beside the bed, I smiled going over and sitting with her both of them bathed in the rays of the sunrise "You okay?" "Ummmm. Tried" "I can guess so" I laughed "they wouldn't let me in" "They said because of things I forget what they said but she's happy and healthy" "She?" "She. Benny meet your daughter" she smiled letting me see the cute little squishy face of our little girl, she was so cute and beautiful I almost cried "A daughter. I have a daughter. Hi little one, uhh nice to meet you" I smiled shaking her tiny hand "God damn it Benny, you don't have to introduce yourself to her" "She doesn't know who I am yet, I'm just being a gentleman about it" I said giving her little head a kiss which made her giggle more "are you okay?" "Fine Benny" she laughed so I gave her a kiss too "she has her daddies." "She does. But I'm sure she'll grow up and be as beautiful as her mummy" "In sure she will. Thought if any names for her?" "I get to name her?" "Umm you won. You where right about it being a girl. You can name her" she smiled I looked at our little girl thinking of all the girls names I knew many of them I didn't want to use as I'd slept with girls named that and that would be a werid thing but the more I looked at her the more ideas went quickly though my mind until, I saw the sun just shimmer a little the rays of gold, purple and red across the room from the sun as it rose and it casgading across her little face "Aurora" I smiled "Aurora. I like it" she smiled "I think it suits her" "It does. Little aurora" "Little aurora watts" "Aurora y/l/n. Not your wife yet Benny" "You would be if someone would get the wedding sorted and let me marry her already" I laughed "I know, but maybe aurora watts so she gets used to it" "Good, she was like this close to being named scillian you know that right?" "I know I'm surprised it's not chess related or are you saving that for any boys" "Kinda, plus not alot of chessy girls names" "That and scillian is our sex safe word" "Yeah that too" I laughed "so you ready to get aurora home?" "Very ready Benny"

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sweetnestor · 6 years

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ylh extra #2 | scare

April 2017, aka the day this video dropped

FULL FANFIC HERE

Well, now I had an actual reason to panic. This time, it didn't come in the act of hysterical crying and shortness of breath. Instead, I stood there in my bathroom, paralyzed by the feeling of sinking sensations and several questions circling my head a million miles a second. My eyes didn't stray from the three white plastic sticks sitting on my counter. I was just having a staring contest with the two little lines that had appeared on each of them.

I heard my phone ding in my room, and it was the first thing that half pulled me back into reality. My body did the motions of going to find the source of the noise, but my mind was still cowering away in the bathroom. Spending two days in there, leaning over the toilet, suddenly made a lot more sense. How did I miss that? It was right there, waving at me with red flags and flare guns. How could I be so stupid?

The text on my phone pulled me into reality a little bit more.

“Did you see the video?? What did you think??”

Shit. Tour announcement. Perfect fucking timing.

I didn't want to lie, so I pulled open my laptop and signed onto YouTube. The first video I saw was titled, “You're Welcome.” I seriously wanted to punch the greater entity that made this whole thing happen.

It was a minute and thirty seconds of my heart sinking. We put so much work into this. This is what we spent weeks working on. Why did I feel like it was all over? This was my personal problem… At least until I told Ethan about it. Just the thought made me want to cry.

“Just watched!! Love it!!! I'm so proud of you!! ❤”

He replied quickly. “We're all celebrating at the office! You feel up for joining us?”

Right. In all of their eyes, I've come down with a stomach bug. Again, how did I not see what was really going on?

Okay, you were dumb and didn't see the obvious symptoms, I thought. What are you going to do now? I knew the answer to that, but I had to talk to Ethan. I had to tell him, he deserved to know.

I decided to go to the office. I wouldn't tell him then, I just had to make sure he was happy and proud of his hard work before I dropped the bomb.

Even when I got there, I couldn’t get the worried look off my face. I tried to fake a smile as I entered the room. Their spirits were so high that they all cheered when I opened the door. I jumped at the sudden noise, but I sighed and passed it over as best as I could.

Ethan was the first one to come over and hug me. His excitement was radiating all over, along with the rest of the team. I hated that I had to crush it later.

“We’re going on tour!” Mark exclaimed, followed by more whoops from Amy, Kathryn, and Tyler.

I smiled as Ethan let go of me. We went to sit on the couch. There was pizza and drinks, but I wasn’t hungry.

“How’s your stomach?” asked Kathryn. “You feeling any better?”

Found the source of my nausea, that’s for damn sure.

“Kind of, I’m not really up for eating,” I replied. “But I can work, so that’s a plus.”

I managed to get through the day without seeming too off. They all thought I was sick in some shape or form, so my heightened silence wasn’t that strange. Ethan hardly bat an eye at my subtle attempts to avoid him. I knew if I so much as looked at him during work hours, I would fall apart and spill the whole thing to not only him, but to everyone in the office, and nobody wanted that. I couldn’t let the others know.

When I got home, I was alone. Ethan was still working on a video, so he had told me to go on without him. The silence in my apartment dawned on me, and I started to feel sad that Jack wasn’t home yet. Things started getting busier within our lives, so we were seeing each other less often. He would know how to console me on this, but I found myself hesitating to call him, or to even go find him in his dorm on campus.

But this was my problem. It was mine and Ethan’s problem. Is that how I should refer to procreation? A problem? That said enough about how I felt about the situation, I hoped that he would feel the same.

The longer I waited in solitude, the more antsy I got. I was checking my phone every two minutes and trying to distract myself by washing my makeup brushes. My collection had grown over time, so it kept me occupied for a while. My body was on autopilot until I heard a knock on the front door.

I went to answer, feeling the blood rush out of my body. I felt like I was going to puke, and it wasn't from the morning sickness this time. Panic was rising in my throat the closer I got to the door, and it was written on my face when I was looking in the eyes of my boyfriend.

He was smiling upon first glance, but my negative energy quickly gave him a red flag. “What's wrong?”

“I need to talk to you,” I tried to say, but it came out in a breathless voice. My head was spinning.

Ethan stepped inside and closed the door behind him, a worried look on his face. “What's going on?”

Trying to control my breathing, I led him over to the dining table behind the couch. Once we were sitting, I couldn't say anything. It was stuck in my throat, along with a panic induced crying fit. Oh god, why couldn't I say it?

“Bella,” he urged. “What happened? What is it?”

“So I've been sick…” I managed to get out.

“Is that what it is? Is it something serious?” Ethan asked. He was nervous, as he should, but it wasn't helping my own nerves.

“Um…”

“Bella, oh my god, you're scaring me!” He paused and took a deep breath. Then he reached across the table and took my hand, squeezing it the way he normally would.

I returned the pressure, trying to calm down and organize my thoughts. I focused on the feeling of his hand in mine. I trusted him.

“I'm pregnant,” I finally told him.

“No,” Ethan said in disbelief. He sat back in his chair, letting go of my hand. “No, you can't be.”

“But I am,” I replied, feeling anxious by his gestures. “I found out this morning, I didn't wanna tell you at the office because you were in such a good mood, and everyone else was there. I didn't want to ruin the mood or anything. I didn't…” I paused, noticing that he wasn't listening.

Ethan placed his elbows on the glass surface of the table, his hands clasped together. He was wildly tapping his leg, and his eyes were glossed over.

“Babe,” I said, touching his arm. “I already know what I want to do. And I want you to come with me when I do it.”

He looked at me, then held his hand out again. I took it in both of mine, trying to comfort the both of us.

“What's gonna happen?” he finally asked.

I took a deep breath. “I'm gonna go to the doctor and see how far along I am. Then, depending on that, I'm gonna schedule an abortion.”

That took Ethan by surprise. He put his other arm down, furrowing his brows. “Really?”

A pang of fear went through my chest. “Y-Yeah… we can't afford to have a baby now, can we?”

“Right. Yeah. I just… you came to that decision very quickly,” he commented. “Not like in a bad way, or anything. I'm, I'm glad we're on the same page.”

“The faster I move to make a decision, the less time I have to panic and lose my mind,” I told him. “And…” I sighed, feeling the surge of emotions. “I've known about this thing since this morning… and I'm really, really trying not to lose my mind.”

Ethan moved his chair right next to mine and put his arm around me. “Hey, it's gonna be okay. We'll get through this. You made a plan, and I'm here to support you.”

“But we are on the same page, right?” I asked. “Neither of us want kids, right?”

“Right, I'm only twenty. And we're both super busy. If I can't get a dog, then I definitely can't have a baby. And the biggest difference is that I actually want a dog.”

I nodded, feeling reassured. “Okay. I'll see if I can go tomorrow, or the next day. I just want this overwith before the livestream.”

“Wait,” Ethan said. “Do we tell the other guys about this?”

“I don't want to,” I said. “I don't wanna talk about it until after I get the abortion.”

“How come?”

“I know they mean well, I know they have good hearts. But I don't wanna hear their input on what I should and shouldn't do with my body. I don't wanna hear any ‘are you sure’s unless it's from you. After I get it terminated, if the subject comes up, then we can talk about it.”

Ethan was silent for a moment. “Okay, I understand. But can I at least tell my dad about this?”

“Is he gonna force us to keep it?” I asked in return.

“What? No.”

Thankfully, I was able to nip it in the bud only 2 days later. Ethan and I both took the day off from work, telling Mark that I was still sick and needed to be taken care of. Neither of us liked lying to him, or to any of the team, but in this case, I felt like we had to. Usually, pregnancy is seen as good news, and I didn't want to have to go through the process of telling people I was going to terminate the thing.

We sat in the car in a tense silence. Due to my morning sickness (which doesn't happen only in the morning) and his time at the office, the last time we saw each other was when I told him the news. I could tell I made things difficult between us, I just wasn't sure if it was because I was pregnant, because I was getting an abortion, or because I asked him not to tell anyone.

“You're sure about this, right?” he asked after a while.

“Yes,” I replied, but his tone made me nervous. “Why?”

Ethan shrugged. “I know it's your body, and it's ultimately up to you… and I don't really want kids either, but…”

My eyes widened, and I felt myself go stiff. “But what?”

“I… wouldn’t mind… if I had kids with you.” When I didn’t say anything, he spoke some more. “Obviously, not now because we’re both super busy, and we’re still young, but… if this goes on into the future, and you ever wanted to have kids-”

“I don’t,” I said in a clipped tone. “I don’t think I could ever have kids. Especially not now, because you’ve got a tour to go on in a couple of months, and then again in the fall. And your channel is taking off, and you’re putting all of your time into that. And me… I’m still trying to get my life back. I’m trying to be okay with all the shit in my head, and everything I have to live with, and I know if I have a baby, I’m going to end up resenting it. A baby is going to make us pause our life - it doesn't matter if it's right now or later on in life - you can’t tell me you’d be okay with that.”

Silence dawned on us again after Ethan hummed. I didn’t know what that meant, but it ended the impending “let’s have kids later in life” conversation for now. Thank god too, because we arrived to the clinic.

The actual termination didn't take very long, but it was pretty painful. Afterwards, I had to sit in a recovery room with Ethan holding my hand until the nurses deemed I was well enough to go. He had to drive me home, and because of the mild sedation I was under, I had next to no problem with it. I was exhausted and grumpy, but I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep in the car.

I started cramping up when we got to my apartment. I was one of the lucky people who never had intense menstruation cramps every month, but that also meant that this kind of pain was something I wasn’t used to. I hunched over in my seat before I could open the car door, so Ethan had to come to my aid.

“Alright, come on,” he said, taking my hand and guiding me out of the vehicle. He helped me into my apartment, and the first wave of cramping passed. “Go lie down, I’ll make you some tea.”

What a nice boyfriend, despite that I snapped at him several times during the appointment. I didn’t deserve him… time for bed.

I would have changed my clothes, but I was so tired and out of it that I just lied down on top of the unmade sheets on my bed. I wanted to sleep, but I heard the front door open again, and it made me nervous. Earlier, I had told Jack that I wouldn't be able to pick him up from campus, but I didn't think he would come back so soon.

His voice sounded through the apartment, but I couldn't make out the conversation he was having with Ethan. I almost wanted to get up and see what they were talking about, but my mind and body felt like lead. I decided to drift off and worry later. It was probably better that way.

On the bright side, I wasn't pregnant anymore.

I didn't think sitting on a couch for twelve hours would make me tired, and yet Ethan and I returned to his apartment absolutely pooped. The livestream was a success, which was a relief since it was my first. I was still a little hesitant to see what people were saying online, though, but all I wanted in that moment was to lie down and sleep.

“That was harder than normal,” Ethan said as he placed his keys, wallet, and epipens on the kitchen counter.

“Why?” I asked.

“There were moments where I could have slipped what happened the other day,” he told me.

“Ah.”

I didn't like the awkward tension. It hadn't diffused or simmered down. The team unknowingly acted as a buffer for us through the entire stream, but now that we were alone, I was slowly being suffocated.

“Did your dad say anything about… that?” I asked, despite that I wanted to pretend like it never happened.

“Yeah, he thinks we did the right thing, and that it was a mature decision,” he replied.

Relief. “Nice.”

There was another awkward pause.

“Are we okay?” Ethan asked. “Or… are you okay?”

I hesitated, and then shrugged. “I'm just afraid of that happening again.”

“We'll be more careful,” he reassured as he stepped closer to me. “I know it was scary, but there's a lot of ways to prevent it.”

“How?” I asked. “I'm already on birth control and we use enough condoms as it is! I'm… I don't know.”

“Well, what else do you wanna do? Do you just wanna… not have sex?”

I stayed quiet. That was my first idea, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Ethan was very… active. Not that I didn't like it, but now that we experienced one consequence of having a nearly overly active sex life, I found myself wanting to withdraw. But, like I said, he was a pretty sexual being.

“Bella?”

“I can't have sex with you again,” I admitted in a soft voice. I couldn't look at him.

He was looking at me, but I didn't want to see his expression. I internally braced myself for any kind of backlash. I would be lying if I said I hadn't started plotting an escape route just in case he took it the wrong way. I'd probably crash at Amy and Kathryn’s if I needed to.

“Okay,” Ethan replied after some silence.

“Really?” I was confused.

“Yeah. It's okay, I understand.”

For some reason, that didn't process in my mind. I just stood there, looking very dumbfounded. Surely there had to be a catch. It couldn't be just “okay.” There had to be something underneath that.

“Like, nothing at all?” I asked. “No getting naked, no inappropriate touching?”

He nodded like it was obvious. “Yeah. I know what no sex is.”

“Sorry, I just didn't think it would be that easy. This… this isn't the first time I've had a pregnancy scare. The last guy wasn't as nice about it.”

Ethan's face morphed into concern. “What do you mean? Who was this guy?” He sat on the stool, waiting for an answer.

I sighed. “This guy I moved in with after I graduated high school. I thought I was pregnant, and he said he would he supportive. But I wasn't, and I told him what I told you: can't have sex for a while. He got mad. And defensive.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. I got scared, so I took back what I said.”

“That's still fucked up.”

I shrugged. “Is it, though? I mean, it's not bad to want sex. He thought, that I thought he was unattractive, or that I didn't want him. Even in my last relationship, we didn’t have sex at all and I know it bothered him. And… I don't want you to think like that, or think that I don't want you like that.”

“Don't worry about me,” he told me as he held my hand. “I know why you don't wanna have sex again. Trust me, I understand, and it's okay. I don't want to have a situation like this again either. If this is what’ll keep us sane… it's okay. I won't get mad at you for that.”

It was weird to hear that. I guess that said a lot about me. I squeezed his hand in gratitude. “Thank you.”

He kissed my hand. “Of course. I care about you a lot. I want you, and us, to be okay.”

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #ylh extra #sweetheart writes #so im gonna post another thing tomorrow probably #another one shot #AND THEN the New Series will start #i just had to post this now ya feel #also i was planning on writing a thing abt bellas first livestream with the team #i havent started it yet but if yall wanted that id be happy to write it

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sagebodisattva · 5 years

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MGTOW and Nihilism

Welcome, followers of MGTOW. Before we begin, just real briefly, for those who are watching this video and are unaware of what MGTOW is, the acronym stands for Men Going Their Own Way, and is the title for a movement by and for men. A few samples of definitions mined from the internet include:

“M.G.T.O.W., Men Going Their Own Way, is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: “No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a “man” is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t. MGTOW asserts that only you have the right to decide what your goals in life should be. It is saying that, as a man, I will not surrender my will to the social expectations of women and society, because both have become hostile against masculinity. MGTOW often talk about seeking “independence” from western and/or consumer culture, and a few MGTOW try to live that sort of Zen existence. Most of those who embrace the term have a deep hostility towards and/or profound distrust of feminists and women in general. Many MGTOW refuse to date “western women” and some try to avoid women altogether.”

Well, before we go any further, it should be noted that, just by being a MGTOW, you are a nihilist, plain and simple. And before you get all up in arms, relax, this is a good thing, and I mean this in a good way. After all, you are watching a video by the Meta Sage, and you could say that the Meta Sage channel is the flagship station of nihilism on the internet today. So, this isn't a disparaging title aimed to degrade you, nor is it indicative of a characterization that you are either depressed, violent, lazy, immoral or apathetic, but, meant just as a label that is reflective of a matter of truth and fact. Nihilism is a philosophical doctrine that suggests the negation of one or more reputedly meaningful aspects of life. MGTOW itself is a cornucopia of negations of normative meanings and values that are usually associated with the average life. Tossing out the investments into dating, sexual relations, marriage, child bearing, societal expectations, social and cultural traditions, and the disposal of all aspirations to emulate the role of a specific gender archetype, are all value subtraction equations, no matter how you slice it.

So, you have arrived at this point; so are you gonna live up to the name of MGTOW and really be a man that goes his own way, or are you gonna remain bitter and resentful of women and get stuck on moaning about it. If your aim is to be an activist and spend the rest of your life screaming from a rooftop about the inequities of women, it can't really be said that you have gone your own way. By doing this, you are still giving women power and importance by way of investing value judgements into their behavior, which continually provokes taxing anger and indignation, which, thereof, serves as validation by way of negative attention. Remember, negative attention is still attention. And eventually it gets to the point where, thou dost protest too much.

Are you really ready to move on from these values you have subtracted, or is this all just an elaborate ploy to continually sustain a platform on which to complain about women? If you consider yourself MGTOW, then you identify as such because, either you are a product of the so called “incels”; that is, a group of men who call themselves involuntary celibate, (which is just a round about way of saying, you can't get a girlfriend,) or, you are a man that has had girlfriends or a wife, but has been somehow royally screwed over by one. Either way, it's time to use all that time and energy you would normally waste on trying to jump through hoops for a female, or in complaining about a female, towards your spiritual growth. In other words, it's time to actually go your own way. And when I say "spiritual growth", I don't mean religion, or any other vague supernatural notion concerning a soul, or the divine, but rather, am more referring to what was implied earlier from the definitions of MGTOW, to seek to live, and know, a Zen experience of life.

You are not the first ones to renounce women, only the most recent ones. A man's struggle to find a suitable woman as a companion is nothing new. The inequities of women is not something new either. Granted, the modern western world seems to have gone berserk with many of these courtship issues, but this is mainly due to the explosion of a very shallow materialistic western culture coupled with overpopulation and the subsequent massive influx of mediocrity. Yes, women far outnumber men, and so most of the decent men out there are already taken; coupled up with compatible women and are currently in relationships. Of the small pool of men that are left, some are gay, some are in prison, some are homeless, and what remains are either the cads, that is to say, a few cavalier males, that are usually very confident with themselves and therefor unobtainable and unwilling to be pinned down, which makes them a very desirable albeit unrealistic ideal for a woman, the so called hidden fruit, so to speak, or the common average insecure desperate man that women generally don't want, but usually end up settling for; ie the bulk of what's out there. And of this bulk, the ones with the money or career get the girl, and then usually a subsequent knife in the back, aka, cheated on, divorced, child custody battle, paying alimony and child support, and the rest of the bulk get nothing, aka, Involuntary celibacy.

All of this, and yet somehow, we are still overpopulated. Go figure. And don't tell me that we're not overpopulated because of a fallacy of scarcity, or because we can fit the entire population of the world into the state of Texas... that isn't the point. The point is, the more you have of something, the less valuable it becomes. The significance and importance of the contributions of individuals are undermined by an over flooding of individuals, which drives down the value of individuality. Too much of anything isn't healthy, and humans are not excluded from this truth... of which, is also why I would encourage MGTOW's to dig even deeper into philosophy and to check out anti-natalism, which is not too far of a stones throw from your current positional mindset. You see, I'm waiting to see the fourth wave of feminism, wherein women reject procreation... but honestly, I don't think they have the balls for that.

But anyway, MGTOW man, now that you are not tied up in chasing the meaningless mundane pursuit of conquering a woman; of which, doesn't lead to enlightenment, and will, given enough time, only lead to having babies, which will seriously jeopardize your pursuit of an awakening, because having a child is almost always indicative of passing on the buck; why not use your newly found freedom to investigate the inner connectivity of reality with the mind?

This is what all people should be investigating: the secrets concerning the source of attention, instead of wasting all our time being desire whores and value junkies. Honestly, I enjoy people's disillusionment. I enjoy it, not because I enjoy people's suffering, which is how your average sheeple of righteous indignation would like to portray it as, but because disillusionment is what ultimately leads a sheeple to a place where he or she can finally have an opportunity to possibly discover the truth of awareness. In order to arrive in such a place, often a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be, is required. Whether it be a disillusionment due to let downs associated with school, politics, religion, work, justice, fairness, the opposite sex, or expectations of success in some field of interest, doesn't matter... the seeds for a possible enlightenment could potentially be planted, depending on whether or not this disillusionment leads to nihilism, or to a wounded ego that is gonna play the victim because it still deep down desires what it is disappointed in, and is just bruised from rejection. I root for the former.

Hey, I have an idea. Instead of getting a gun and shooting up a school, a movie theater or a nightclub, drop the value of the investment into that which is facilitating your malcontent disposition, and instead, meditate. Instead of spending all day as a keyboard Rambo, posting diatribes on online message boards, explore the inner connectivity of reality and the mind. Instead of indulging in the poignancy and resentment that comes with the territory of playing the victim, take responsibility for your reality and incorporate a little existential nihilism in your life. Don't swear off women as a means of protest, swear them off and then close that chapter of your life. Truly let go of the value you have placed on the gratification you receive from female companionship, courtship, sexual relations, union and family.

MGTOW is a good thing. It's an excellent beginning, but there is still much more work to be done. There is more conditioning to unlearn, and more attachments to let go of. It doesn't end with women. Welcome to nihilism, where you will deconstruct every attachment, every convention and every expectation. For you MGTOWers that are curious to find out a little more about nihilism, I recommend searching through my video library to find out some more useful information, for this is one of the only places where you will find the subject treated honestly and not demonized or maligned with a negative connotation.

#MGTOW #Nihilism

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mizchips · 4 years

Text

The Balance of Light and Dark

They are in the elevator. Rey is in handcuffs on her way to see Supreme Leader Snoke. Kylo Ren stands nearby, trying not to stare at the young woman who showed up in his thoughts, dreams, and on his ship.

Rey moves her hands slightly. She is not fully trained in the Force but willing to use it anyway. The elevator stops at her slight movement.

Kylo Ren jerks his head toward her.

She turns to look at him. “You don’t have to do this, Ben.”

He looks away, waiting. He could overpower her and start the elevator, but he is curious.

She waits a beat as well. Why doesn’t he say something?

“I feel the Light in you. You can return to it.” She moves a little closer to him. She could likely remove the cuffs with a bit more power. She could touch him.

He turns toward her. He heard that thought.

They stare at each other for a moment. The elevator hums uselessly.

“I saw you on Jakku,” he says.

Rey lifts her brows. That was unexpected.

“Why do you eat with a helmet on?” he asks. “You look like a child.”

She shakes her head. Is he an idiot?

“It shades my eyes,” she says.

He shrugs. “I did that when I was eight years old. I was just wondering.”

He sneaks a peek at her. She seems thoroughly off-balance. He reanimates the elevator.

Rey immediately unlocks the cuffs and stops the elevator again.

“No,” she says. “We are not finished talking.”

Kylo notes the fallen cuffs. “You have just been waiting to do that, I suppose.” He sends them flying to the other side of the small space.

“Well, yes. Did you think I couldn’t do it?”

He shrugs. “How would I know?”

Rey sputters, “Watching me on Jakku, dropping in on me during training, getting me in trouble with your uncle… Of course you know. You are in my mind.”

“Is that why you came to see me?” He waves the elevator on again with a flick of his wrist.

“Oh, for the love…” Rey stops the lift again. “Quit doing that. We have to talk. I don’t care where we have this conversation.”

“Yes, you do,” he says. “You want to have it before we meet Snoke.”

Rey puts her hands on her hips. “Well, then. What I am here to talk to you about?” She closes her mind to him.

He gazes at her. She tips her head to one side and flattens her lips.

He gives up. “All right, you are as strong as I am. You can shut me out. Just get on with it.”

Rey’s breath whooshes out. “Here goes nothing,” she mutters to herself.

Kylo Ren waits. He can be patient.

Rey laughs. “No, you can’t. Anyway, look, we need to stop this Light/Dark thing going on in the Force. The Jedi thing is over. Luke is done. We are it.”

“Light/Dark THING?” Kylo repeats. “What does that even mean?”

“Are you an id…?” Rey begins.

He waves a giant gloved hand at her. “I know what it means. I don’t know what YOU mean.” He shakes his head. His thick hair moves.

Rey’s mouth goes dry as she watches his hair tumble back into place.

His eyes meet hers again. He knows she is looking at him. But he knew that all along. He shows her his thought of touching her soft hair without a glove.

Rey shakes her head to clear the image. “No time for that now. Let me tell you.”

“You want me to turn to the Light side,” he says, watching her.

“Yes, but that’s not a pressing issue at the moment. I know there is good in you and you will help me.”

“Huh,” says Kylo.

“Shut up for a minute. Here’s what we have to do.” Rey pauses and can’t believe she has to say this out loud.

“To balance everything, I have to get pregnant.” She pauses again.

Kylo stares at her. “What?” It’s a clipped sound. He probes her mind and she allows him see the two children. Theirs.

“I have to get pregnant with your children.”

He is nowhere near prepared for this statement.

“Now,” she continues. “Before we see Snoke.”

She waits for the inevitable reaction. She didn’t think his eyebrows could rise that far on his forehead.

She has rendered him speechless.

Kylo shakes his head again. Rey ignores her desire to touch his hair.

“Wait, uh… Now? In the elevator?”

“I don’t care where, but we have to do it before we see Snoke.”

“Do it?” Kylo can’t seem to get there.

“Get pregnant….” Rey says, pushing the image of kids into Kylo’s brain again. Is he always this slow? Maybe he is a bad choice. Of course, there really is no other choice. It’s not happening with Luke. Kylo—or rather Ben—is all that is left.

“Oh, don’t think about that,” he says. She inadvertently showed him an image of her and his uncle trying to kiss. Kylo backs up.

“Yes, I know.” She shudders. “It’s you or no one.”

“So, we are supposed to…” Kylo couldn’t even say it. “Here and now.”

Again, he seemed stuck on the details.

“Well, how else is it done? I am not doing anything in front of that old goat.”

That image pops into Rey’s head from Kylo.

“UGH,” she says.

Suddenly, without warning, Kylo smiles. At her. Rey loses her ability to think. He is beautiful. Rey had never seen him so much as quirk his lips.

Then he starts to laugh.

“You are a child,” she says to him.

“So are you,” he says, suddenly looking at her, smile fading. “You eat with a helmet on.”

“You wear a helmet, too.” She is mesmerized by his face.

“Not while I am eating,” he whispers.

“I could sell tickets if you did,” she whispers back.

He laughs softly.

Rey watches Kylo’s eyes as he slowly pulls off his gloves. He reaches out to touch her hair as he has been wanting to do. She gazes at him steadily.

He leans in and she hold hers breath. His lips are so full and soft as they touch hers. He presses deeper. Rey’s mouth opens under his.

The lift begins to shake and creak. The two leap apart.

They hear voices shouting. “What is wrong with this thing?” It sounds like Hux.

“Uh oh,” says Rey. She starts the elevator moving again.

The doors open and Kylo shoves Rey behind him. He is tall enough to shield her.

“What…?” Hux begins.

Kylo grasps Rey’s hand and pulls her out of the lift, swirling his cloak to mask her as much as possible.

Hux stares. “Supreme Leader…” He calls out to their backs, “is looking for you, Ren. And your prisoner.”

Kylo is pulling Rey along. “Slow down,” she mutters.

“Keep up,” he growls.

“You are too tall,” she says.

He pushes her into an alcove and they both breathe for a moment. He looks like he might try to touch her again.

“Not here,” she says.

“Right,” he notes, looking around.

He pulls open a door and they tumble through. It’s a training room.

“Oh, no,” he says. “Not here.”

“Bad memories?”

He glares at her and yanks the door open. He hauls her out into the hallway again.

“What are we doing?” Rey asks breathlessly as he moves through another hallway.

“Consider it foreplay,” he tosses behind him.

“Snoke is looking better and better,” she shouts as she trips. Kylo pulls her up.

He finally slides to a stop and waves a hand to unlock another door. He checks the hall and steers Rey inside.

It is someone’s living quarters.

“Mine,” he says, answering her thoughts. “It is shielded in here.”

“From what?” she asks, looking around curiously. There is not much to see. In the outer room is a desk and chair. In the inner room, a large bed with black covers dominates the space.

“From the Supreme Leader,” he says. “No doubt he is wondering at our delay. I am to bring you to him immediately. He already sent Hux to find me.”

“Well, then, we need to hurry,” Rey says, walking toward the bed. “Here or the desk?”

Kylo looks slightly pained. “Whose idea is this, exactly?”

Rey Force-pushes Kylo lightly toward the bed. “No time to discuss.”

“Aren’t you romantic,” Kylo mutters.

“No, I’m not,” says Rey. “Neither are you. And if you must know, it is your grandfather’s idea.”

She gave him another shove and he lands on his back in the bed. Rey jumps on top of him, pulling at his robes.

Kylo grabs her hands. “Wait! Is he watching?” He looks around. “Is he here?”

She stops for a moment, groaning. “No, idiot boy. He wants us to have twins and balance the Force. He’s not going to help.”

“How does that work?”

Rey gritted her teeth, pulled her hands away from his grasp, and started unclasping his clothes again. “I don’t have time to explain it to you.”

“Be still my heart,” Kylo says.

“Look, we don’t have to love each other—or even like each other. We just,” she tugged his shirt completely off, “have to get pregnant.”

“I am not ready to be a father,” he shouts.

Rey stares at his chest, at the scars, and the muscles. He is huge and beautiful.

“I know, I know,” she says, gazing at him. “You have a universe to conquer. Me, too.”

She slides her hand over his chest near his heart. He catches her hand.

“Why should I trust you?” he asks.

She shrugs. “You would rather trust Snoke? He is a horrible…being.”

Kylo sits up. “He rescued me.”

“Ok, ok,” Rey says. This is not the time to do battle. Clearly, they will end up crossing swords. She is out of time.

“Why do you need to get pregnant? Tell me again.” Kylo dumps Rey off his lap.

She closes her eyes and breathes, asking the Force for patience. “You and Luke are the last of your clan who can procreate. Leia created you. You are Force-sensitive.”

“Yes, I know all of that,” he says.

“I am the last known person who is also Force-sensitive. Leia knows of no others. Luke does not seem to care. He believes the Jedi need to die out.”

“I can help with that,” Kylo mutters.

Rey glares at him. “He is sorry, I believe, for what he did.”

Kylo is disinterested in Luke’s state of mind. “Get on with it,” he says.

“Your grandfather,” Rey begins.

“Darth Vader.”

“No, it was Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader is gone. Anakin came to me as a Force-Ghost and told me that before the Last Jedi dies, the Sith and Jedi have to merge.” She waits.

Kylo stares at her.

“To balance the Force…” she states.

“Why?” he asks. “Why should the Force be balanced? It is good and evil living side-by-side, fighting it out. The strongest wins and rules.”

“That is the old way,” Rey says, quietly.

“That is the only way,” Kylo says. “Enough.” He stands. “This is finished.”

Rey stands as well. “Well, it was just a thought.”

Kylo begins to put his shirt on.

“I thought you wanted to bed me,” she says. “My mistake. I should not have appealed to your Light side. I should have taken your children and then let you live in ignorance.”

He turns on her and shouts, “I would know. I would know when it happened. You cannot keep such knowledge from me.”

Rey stares him down. He is seething. She raises her brows. “I could wear your helmet. If you would like that.” She picks up the dark thing from the table and turns it in her hands.

“No,” he shouts and throws the helmet across the room. “Do not ever touch my helmet.”

She is not impressed.

He growls and Force-slams Rey into the bed. “Good boy,” she whispers.

Kylo drops his mouth on Rey’s. She is ready and waiting for him. They roll together as they pull off each other’s clothes. Kylo wishes he could be rougher. He is so consumed by his anger. But Rey’s strength of will and supple muscles match his own. When he fights, she fights back. She pushes him with her mind. She soothes him with her firm touch.

His anger melts and leaves him kissing trails down her soft skin. He feels every thrill in her body.

“Do it,” she pants, opening for him. He crawls on top of her and slides in. He feels like a massive beast hovering over her, pushing himself into her warm body.

Rey cares for nothing but the touch of this man’s skin against hers, the taste of his mouth, and the softness of his hair. She digs in.

She gives herself up to sensation. As she peaks, she opens herself and merges with him, feeling his ecstasy, his fear, and his sadness. She pours her warmth and laughter into him as he pours himself into her. They move together one final time.

The door to Kylo’s suite bursts open and Hux stalks in with a cadre of troopers.

They all freeze.

Rey pulls the life given to her by Kylo—Ben Solo, Leia’s beautiful son—deeper into her. She wills herself pregnant and hopes for the best. There is no way for her to know this early. She feels nothing.

“Get out,” roars Kylo, jumping up. He Force-slams the storm troopers and picks Hux up by his neck.

Hux starts quacking about Snoke. “I have the authority given by the Supreme Leader to bring the girl.”

“Let him go,” Rey says. “It is done. There is nothing they can do.” She is lying but Hux will not know. Kylo does not seem to care.

He tosses Hux against the nearest wall. Hux gasps for breath, staring at the Rey on the bed.

Kylo covers Rey with his cloak. He pulls on his trousers. He says nothing.

Rey begins to tug her own clothes on. “Lead the way, Hux. Let’s see that ridiculous creature.”

“Whore,” Hux rasps. “Do not speak of the Supreme Leader in such a fashion.” He attempts to grab Rey’s arm.

He misses and she neatly sweeps by him.

She turns and says to Kylo, “I don’t know where Snoke is. Will you show me the way?”

Hux splutters behind them. “What is she planning?”

Kylo does not look back. “I have no idea,” he states, striding away down the hall.

The two enter the elevator again and shut the door in Hux’s face. The handcuffs sit on the floor near Rey’s feet. Kylo and Rey both look at them.

“No,” Rey says.

“Later?” Kylo asks.

She turns to look at him. He smiles and raises his brows. Rey cannot believe it. She bursts out laughing.

The lift stops. Kylo locks the door for a moment. “Is there a plan?”

“To murder Snoke? If I can, I will. Believe me, he is an evil thing. He is not part of our larger plan.”

Kylo ponders that statement while Hux—or someone—begins to beat on the door. Lasers start to burn through the lock. He sighs.

“Who’s plan is this?” he asks. “Killing Snoke?”

Rey turns to him with an annoyed look. “Will you keep up? It is your grandfather’s plan.”

“Is that why you are here?”

“Yes.”

“I thought it was to get pregnant.”

“That, too,” Rey snaps.

“Honestly, I thought that was the main plan.” Kylo shook his head.

“Step 1, get pregnant. Step 2, kill Snoke.” She counts on her fingers, then pauses. “Ok, Step 2 is mine.”

“Step 3?”

“I’m still working on it.”

Stormtroopers burn through the door. They rush in to find Rey with her hands on her hips, looking thoroughly exasperated.

“Don’t move,” one says in a muffled voice.

Rey rolls her eyes. “Get out of the way.” She stalks off the elevator and feels a huge rush of ugly energy.

“There he is,” she says.

She has no trouble finding her way to Snoke and does not turn to see if Kylo is following.

The grotesque creature of the Dark side is perched on his throne, smiling to himself. Rey watches him cautiously. He is still very dangerous, she reminds herself.

Snoke smiles at her horribly as Kylo addresses him. “Supreme Leader, I have brought you the girl.”

“It took you a long time to get here, my apprentice. What kept you?” Snoke giggled.

He knows, realized Rey. Her stomach jumped for a moment. Snoke reached out a scabby claw and ran in through her mind. Visions of her face, eyes closed in orgasm, swam before her. “Ah, yes, you did enjoy my apprentice, my dear. How lovely. All part of the plan.” Snoke smirked and turned his attention to Kylo. “Your dear grandfather’s plan. Vader. The greatest achievement of Darth Sidious.”

Rey sees a reeling picture of Anakin as Force-Ghost, with lips curled in evil, his eyes a swimming yellow. “Rey will achieve my mission, Snoke. She can seduce him. She can take my grandson’s Dark progeny. It will be complete.”

Rey sucks in a long breath. “No,” she says.

The vision continues. “She will not be able to turn him. Motherhood will turn her instead. She will not be able to resist raising the Dark side children, even though she has the Light.” Dream Snoke laughs. “Yes, and they will kill her in the end.” Anakin says, “And my useless grandson with her.”

Kylo breathes heavily beside her. He sees it, too. The vision of two children with yellow eyes wielding blood-red light sabers. Rey and Kylo backed in a corner while their children laugh and advance on them.

The vision fades. Snoke shakes his misshapen head. “You have sealed the fate of any Lightsiders. There will be no more Light and the Jedi--and you, my dear--will be gone. There will be no balance. Ask Darth Vader’s useless grandson.”

Kylo stands boiling with fresh anger. Rey feels the rage pour off him. She feels his despair and anguish. She tries to reach him with her mind, but Snoke seems in control of what she can see and do.

Rey closes her eyes. She is sweating with effort and gritting her teeth to push mentally against the wall Snoke has placed between her and her lover.

Then she simply lets go. Her lover. He is Dark. She is Light.

We can co-exist, she breathes. We can be Dark and Light together. We do not have to choose one or the other.

She chants it again, out loud this time. Louder and louder.

Snoke knocks her down on the ground.

Kylo reaches for his saber and Snoke rips it away.

Snoke seals Rey’s mouth so she cannot speak. She continues to use her mind to say the words.

Kylo drops to his knees. “Leave her alone! Leave her,” he shouts at Snoke.

Snoke giggles. “Do you want her to lose the children? No, of course not.”

Rey writhes in pain, clutching her abdomen.

Kylo calls his saber and ignites it in Snoke’s face. “Let her go.”

“Or what, dear boy? You will not kill me. I am the only one who loves you. Go ahead, I will not raise a hand against you.”

Kylo raises his saber.

Rey’s pain ceases suddenly. She feels the slip of something merging, cohering, uniting within her. She is pregnant. The babies have their own energy. Whatever is in her pushes back against Snoke’s evil and shuts down the pain. Rey rises. She is shining from within.

Kylo turns to see Rey, who is majestic, bright, and crackling with new light fire. Snoke points a finger at Kylo behind his back, but Kylo parries the evil energy almost without realizing it. He is blinded by Rey.

Rey stands before Snoke. “You cannot harm me. You are wrong and you are old. Darkness has its place but it not the only way. I am Mother of Light and Dark. The Force is balanced. You have no power here.”

With a flick of her wrist, Rey sends Snoke’s withered form backwards through the walls and out into space. He reels, screaming as he flies, clawing at Kylo, begging for help. Kylo watches Snoke’s ascent without expression. He is free. He is Ben Solo.

Rey’s inner light softens and hums. “Ben, I am pregnant,” she states.

He nods, numbly. “Was the vision true?”

“I don’t know,” Rey says. “We will have to wait and find out.”

Ben walks over to her. “So, we don’t know if our children will try to kill us?”

She shrugged. “We don’t know if anyone will try to kill us. Your uncle tried to murder you. You didn’t know.”

“Yes, and I killed many, many people as a result.” He heaved a sigh.

Rey reads Ben’s pain and exhaustion. And remorse. “You will have to learn to control the Dark. You have to learn how, so you can teach it to our Younglings. They will be both Dark and Light, and they must know how to channel both.”

She reaches out for him. He takes her in his arms and kisses her.

“I don’t know if I can be a parent,” he says, leaning his forehead against hers. “I am not ready.”

“Nor am I,” Rey says, vehemently. “We have no choice,” she adds softly. “It is up to us.”

She places her hands on his shoulders. “I had no parents. Yours were absent. We are on our own.”

“Well, we can’t do much worse.”

Rey laughs, “We can, but let’s not.”

“Is there a secret?” Ben asks.

“Let them eat with a helmet on.”

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