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sweetnestor · 6 years

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When I Met You | Chapter 5

teamiplier x oc, angst/platonic/romantic

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“If there’s an upside to free falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.” -Meredith Grey

Father's Day.

Bella was invited to join Jimena and her father for lunch in Indio, one of the many desert cities in this valley. Bella was also invited to Aria’s parents’ house in Cathedral City, the neighboring town from Palm Springs. It was still early in the morning, she didn't have to decide anything yet.

This was never a problem in the past. In her last relationship, her boyfriend's father was on the other side of the country, so an in-person celebration couldn't happen. But what would she have done if there was? Would she have just let them off by themselves? Would she have just wallowed by herself?

Wallowing felt like the thing to do, even if Bella knew she shouldn’t. Every other day of the year, she was almost perfectly fine about not having her parents around. She got that gross, irritable feeling only on Mother’s and Father’s Day, her birthday, their birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. Not to mention that mini depressive episode that comes during those last three holidays. Other than that, she knew she was better off without her parents. Or any of her relatives, really.

Bella spent the morning at an AA meeting. She wasn't the only one triggered by today's holiday, and it was both sad and comforting. At least she wasn't alone, but it also sucked that other nice people had to go through the same things she did.

Afterwards, she went to Aria’s apartment at The Modern Cactus. If that wasn't the most desert aesthetic name for an apartment building…

Aria already had plans, as it seemed. When Bella stepped into the studio apartment, she found Aria in her workout clothes, a grey sports bra, matching grey leggings, and black Nikes. She was in the middle of taking selfies in front of her large, full body mirror.

“I'm gonna teach a Zumba class today,” she said excitedly. “You should come!”

Bella tried not to look uninterested. “Aren't you gonna vlog it, though? Sounds like something you'd put on your channel.”

“I do need a camera person.” Aria smiled hopefully. “Please? That way, you don't even have to participate! I know you don't like exercise!”

“Fine…”

It kept Bella’s mind busy. Once she and Aria got to the studio on the other side of town, Bella was glad she didn't stay at the apartment. She would have been alone, with Aria busy and Jimena at work. Being alone was still pretty dangerous. Especially today.

The Zumba class was full of high energy and a lot of cheering women. Aria really knew how to motivate a group. They all “danced" to a mix of fun, upbeat songs, some in English and others in Spanish. It looked like a fun type of exercise. If Bella wasn't so shy (and more appropriately dressed) she may have joined in.

Just being around a group of motivated people and listening to exciting music boosted Bella's mood. Even after the class ended, Aria had music bumping and she was dancing like nobody’s business.

That was why Bella liked her so much. Aria had this sweet, bubbly presence wherever she went. It was easy to be around her, and she took in Bella without a second thought. Although, she was the one who pushed Bella to call her LA friends, too. She was also very good at taking Bella’s mind off things when everything was too much.

Bella owed Aria so much.

“So you’re going to dinner, right?” she asked when they got back to the apartment. “You got anything for me to clean? Laundry that needs doing? Ikea furniture to build?”

Aria plopped down in the armchair, her feet barely touching the ground. “Maybe I’ll finally get that dining table… then you can build it for me so I don’t have to call my dad.”

“I’ll be your daddy, don’t worry.”

“You can’t even hold me up against the wall. And I’m a lot smaller than you. And you’ve been doing all of my bidding since you got here. What were you again?”

Bella only blushed.

Vidcon.

“You know, even if you show up unannounced, they’ll probably find a place for you,” Aria said as she closed the trunk of her car. “You’re one of their favorites, after all.”

It was that time of year again. One of the most fun and anxiety inducing events of the year was happening in Anaheim, and Bella was going to miss it for a second time. Honestly, she was a little upset about it, despite making the decision not to go all on her own. Her manager/publicist, Sonji, strongly advised to make an appearance at Vidcon, because lately, Bella’s YouTube content and lack of activity on other platforms had been seen as something to worry about in the eyes of the Internet. Going to Vidcon would be a way to diffuse the speculation, especially since Bella did not want the public to know what had happened and where she had gone.

At the same time, Bella was not ready for a loud, chaotic convention. She was not ready to sit behind some curtains and make small talk with other creators. While she did have fun meeting her subscribers, that was always the only highlight. Everything else was just a threat to her sobriety, especially since the anniversary was right around the corner. Bella did not want to risk that. That was why she didn’t go last year.

There was also the fear that her friends that were going (Jack, Mark, Amy, Tyler - the whole crew) would be angry if Bella just waltzed in like nothing had happened three months ago. They would ask questions. They already were, the main one being, “Are you going to Vidcon?” They were going to grill her, and then one of them would report back to Ethan. It would get back to him no matter what.

But really, what was the bigger risk for Bella? Her sobriety or her ex?

“We’ll have our own con,” Jimena said as she threw her arm around Bella. “Something chill.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me,” Aria said with a chuckle. “Bella, remember you can stay in my apartment all you want. Just behave yourself, especially on my bed.”

Bella snorted, immediately flustered. So maybe the things that went down in this valley weren’t exactly innocent.

“Hey, it’s my weekend with her!” Jimena said, now holding Bella in both arms. “We’re going on a road trip!”

“San Diego!” Bella half cheered, wanting to be modest about her excitement. She looked at Aria. “Just have as much fun as you can. And remember, you haven’t heard from me, and you don’t know where I am.”

Aria nodded and then got into her car. Jimena and Bella stood in the parking lot and watched her go.

“So, is Vidcon the same as Tanacon?” Jimena asked.

It was easy to keep a secret when you weren’t around the people you’re supposed to keep the secret from. As soon as Aria was in her hotel room in Anaheim, everything that had happened in the last three months built up in her throat. This was probably a bad idea.

Of course, Sophie was the first person to come and visit her. They hadn’t seen each other in months. There was much to catch up on.

It was times like these that Aria was glad her friend was a chatterbox. She had to think of how to cut Bella out of the things she had been doing lately. There were plenty of things Aria had to share with her best friend. She didn’t realize how hard it would be to hide something this big.

All she had to do was survive the weekend, right?

“Dan and Phil are gonna wanna hang out,” Sophie mentioned in a way-too-casual tone.

After all this time, those two British guys still rubbed Aria the wrong way. So much, in fact that she forgot about the girl hiding in her apartment.

She couldn't pretend like she didn't know Dan and Phil were going to be here. She knew exactly what was going to happen this Vidcon. Aria was trying to be the bigger person, but she was still salty.

“I hope you have fun with them,” she replied, chipping at her black nail polish.

Sophie scoffed. “Dude, it's been four years.”

“I know.”

“I think you need to find another person. Maybe if you get into a new relationship, you'll stop being mad at them.”

And now Aria was thinking about Bella. That wasn't a relationship by any means. Neither of them really wanted that. But it did clear Aria’s mind, and answer some questions. It also showed that Aria had definitely moved on from Dan, emotionally and physically. But the things she went through with him towards the end, the way he treated her and shunted her off to the side… She didn't want it to stay with her, but it did.

“I just think there's always going to be a part of me that just can't stand them.”

“But you're gonna be on a panel with them.”

Aria sighed. “Yup.”

At least Dan and Phil’s presence kept her mind away from Bella. At least all of Vidcon focused on Aria’s dance performance with Chachi Gonzales at the opening panel. At least Aria made it through her panel alright.

Then came the part where she and Sophie had to wait behind some curtains for their meet and greet. Sophie had gone to find snacks and water, while Aria stayed behind on one of the only free sofas. It was the second day of the convention and Aria was proud that she hadn't drank vodka and spilled the tea.

She was scrolling through her phone, looking at the tweets following her panel. Even to this day, people who had Dan and Phil as their profile pictures attacked her for no good reason. Although, it had been a while since her mentions turned into a shitstorm. It only happened when she was near the Larry of YouTube.

“Why is areola even there??” said one tweet. There was a screenshot from the panel stream. Aria was sharing a couch with Dan and Phil, and in the extra chair was Jenna Marbles. No one had a problem with her.

“Because I was invited to be on the panel and I said yes. Also thanks for the new nickname,” Aria typed back. After sending that tweet, she changed her Twitter name to Areola Mercer.

As if on cue, Sophie returned not bearing sustenance, but people. Aria looked up and found Sean and Signe right beside her blonde best friend. It starts now.

“Hey guys!” Aria happily greeted as she stood up to hug them. Did she know the couple well enough to hug them? Probably not, but everyone did it at Vidcon.

Sophie took the seat next to Aria while Sean and Signe sat in the sofa across from them. They all fell into conversation, though Aria tried to remain distracted by her phone in order to keep herself from puking out the secret. She barely knew Bella’s best friend, yet she felt so guilty about hiding something this big from him.

Of course, they got to the subject of Bella’s absence. Sophie was there the day Bella disappeared, she was in full panic mode over it. More reasons to feel guilty; Aria was hiding something from her own best friend.

“Have you guys heard from her?” Sophie asked the couple. “Is she even coming?”

Sean shook his head. “She said she’s about to fall off the wagon. Needs time.”

“She hasn’t gone back to LA yet?” Signe asked.

“Nope!” Sophie sounded annoyed. “If she’s struggling, why wouldn’t she just come back to us? She needs people to help her right? We’re that help!”

Aria finally spoke, and it was from the heart. “Some people prefer to heal on their own. Or, they at least prefer to clean up the wounds first.”

“That’s Bella,” Sean agreed. “But still, it’s not really fair that’s she’s shutting us out, shutting me out. If she told me where she was, I wouldn’t tell. Have you guys seen her Instagram, though?”

Aria almost felt bad up until that last question. Of course Sean was reading into Bella’s social media activity. Who wouldn’t?

“Here we go.” Signe sighed.

“You guys have any idea where she’s been?” Sean asked the other two girls. “Maybe she’s in her hometown? I forget the name, but it’s not too far from here.”

Act natural, act normal! Don’t! Be! Suspicious!

“Palm Springs?” Sophie was a little skeptical. “How can you tell? All her Instagram photos are just makeup things, and all her selfies are in front of blank backgrounds.”

“I don’t know, just a guess. Can’t imagine she would have wanted to get on a plane anywhere.”

Now it made good sense why Bella didn’t film at Aria’s apartment, even though it was more convenient. Their friends would recognize the space and figure it out. Aria had to admit, Sophie couldn’t keep quiet sometimes. Given that she was really anxious to know where Bella was only proved that she wouldn’t keep it to herself if she knew. Sean was anxious too, naturally. He was Bella’s best friend, and he lived so far away. He probably wanted to see her here at Vidcon just to make sure she was okay. Aria would have felt the same way, but she made a promise, and she understood Bella’s side of things more.

Bella didn’t want anyone to see her pain. She wanted to find herself without having to see her ex around. She wanted to be away for a while. She had every right to want that.

“What if we got like, a private investigator?” Sophie wondered.

“Why?” Aria asked, bewildered.

“Well, she calls every now and again,” Signe pointed out. “We know she’s alive, and I think she just wants to be left alone to recuperate.”

“Guys, sh, sh!” Sean suddenly nodded towards the end of the hall, where two people were coming their way.

It was Bella’s ex-boyfriend, Ethan, and his best friend, Kathryn. On one hand, Aria was glad to stop talking about Bella, but she also got more nervous now that Ethan had joined the party.

Aria and Ethan had seen each other at a few parties. Interaction was minimal between them. They also had the common ground of Bella’s New Year Intervention 2k17. Clearly, that wasn’t something you could build a friendship on. Aria just knew him as Bella’s boyfriend up until three months ago.

Now, Ethan was dangerous territory, given that Aria was hiding his ex-girlfriend in her apartment. Although, he was the one to end things between them, so would he care if he found out? Was Aria even allowed to act salty on behalf of Bella? She never gave off the impression that they were close, online and off.

“Why is it so quiet?” asked Kathryn. “Was there tea?”

“No tea here,” Signe replied.

There was not excited greetings this time. Maybe Ethan met with them earlier. Or things were really that awkward over Bella.

The latter was proven wrong when the group fell into a conversation. Ethan gushed about the meet and greet he just had. He seemed to really like his viewers. Must be nice.

“Everyone was really nice and respectful,” he said, smiling.

“How many people asked you to vore them?” Sean asked in return.

Ethan chuckled. “Surprisingly, none. I don’t know what I’d do if someone actually asked me that.”

Aria, still mildly salty, bitterly replied, “I’d rather people ask me that than why I’m here at all.”

It wasn’t really because of Ethan. Aria just had her own problems regarding the YouTube community.

“Are people actually saying that to you?” Signe asked, surprised.

“Uh, yeah. I try to block it out, but it happens almost every Vidcon.”

“That sucks,” Ethan said.

“Some people say that to me too,” Kathryn added. “It’s really their problem they got a stick up their ass.”

Aria nodded in agreement.

On the bright side, she had found people to stick with while Sophie hung out with Dan and Phil. On the down side, it was people who wanted to know where Bella was. Aria wasn’t sure how she survived.

Bella was always weirdly open with her audience. She talked about personal and intimate things about her life. She opened up about her anxiety and depression. She talked about her sexuality, she spoke about cutting ties with her family. Obviously, there were darker things that she hadn’t talked about, but she planned to talk about them in the future. She was thinking of sharing all of these bad things in the hopes that it would help someone out there going through similar things.

That being said, did posting a Boomerang of her current location count as a way of being helpfully open? Did showing some beautiful woman’s legs and platform clad feet surrounded by singles somehow show that it was okay to indulge sometimes? Bella thought so. At least for now.

While she wasn’t drinking, Bella certainly felt drunk on the music and the dance that Jimena bought for her. Let’s just say that Bella would not hear Little Mix’s “Down & Dirty” the same way ever again.

“So it’s Ladies’ Night,” Jimena told her over the loud music, “so no dick appointments for you! What about the blonde with the buzz cut over there?” She pointed to a woman on the other side of the bar.

Bella was glad the neon lights didn’t show how red her face was. Yes, everything was very exciting and liberating, but hooking up with a drunk stranger was not exactly ideal. It happened every now and again in Palm Springs, specifically people who would come and go to AA meetings…

“If you can find out if she’s sober or not, we’ll see,” she told Jimena.

However, they both saw the blonde not only down some shots, but also do a line of coke. San Diego is fun.

_______

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #teamiplier x oc #jacksepticeye x oc #sweetheart writes #wimy fic #lol its been a minute #lots of life things have been going on #so much life #and all its bullshit lmao #no one cares abt this fic but i still like posting it #*points at self* selfish! selfish!#just me and your shadow and all of my q'd posts

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lunarrwolf · 3 years

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bless you [corpse]

summary: while playing among us with her friends, kirsy can’t for the life of her stop sneezing, resulting in her demise halfway through her stream.

word count: 1,519

warning(s): swearing

a/n: trying something new and making this account for all my youtube simping targets, so the tags will be mixed. let me know what you think!

—

“AGHH- I keep forgetting that I’m playing with the real Corpse until he tries to kill or accuse me.” She exclaimed to her chat room after a close one of her almost getting booted off, glancing at them to find responses scrolling aimlessly. She was referring to when she’d play Among Us with her friends from back in her home state—after the first week of her finding the notorious CorpseHusband for herself, she began playing as a knock off version of him with a specific group of friends. It was always a great time, especially when after countless team costume changes, her closest friend who loved him as well, always enjoyed when she copied his character’s look and name. Now here she was just months later, engaging in streams with the faceless man himself.

you should be his twin in the next round

the way he had you one vote away from being voted out

i can’t-

not corpse almost getting you killed AGAIN 😂

She laughed, shaking her head. “At least you guys know I’m not...” she trailed herself off, feeling a tingling sensation from the back of her nose. It scrunched up as she tried to shake the feeling off, suddenly more in tune with this weird yet very familiar feeling. The only other thing catching her attention now was her viewers commenting on the way her face looked.

When it felt like it subsided, she shifted her position in the gaming chair and looked at her computer screen, catching the end of the body report animation. Not bothering to look at the crossed out players, she addressed the remaining five people. “We just had a meeting; who died this time?”

“Seán.”

“Noooo. Not my caffeine dealer.” She complained, ready to make another comment and call someone out. However, instead of words, a small noise that matched her voice at least half the time she spoke escaped her lips.

“What- what was that?” Rae questioned, and the girl immediately sent a glare the YouTuber couldn’t see. Out of the many times she would end up streaming or hanging out with Valkyrae, these things were bound to happen at one point or another. She knew what it was.

Kirsy figured that the brunette would egg it on until she became exasperated, and decided to get ahead. “That was me, okay? I sneezed and it sounded like a fucking five month old chihuahua.”

“That was fucking adorable.” Corpse commented, a chuckle laced into his words.

She groaned, sliding her hands down her face in agony before another one decided to make an entrance. Her friends and followers were already joking around about how she resembled a rabbit and sounded like a mouse. Ignoring the ones that were specific to him calling something she did adorable, she tried to change the topic. “Can we just-” Another one. “Ohmygod.” She muttered, taking note of the laughs she heard from her headphones. Without warning, she muted her microphone and focused on getting rid of the sneezing.

The only thing she could think of was using up the myth that saying the word ‘pineapple’ would make them go away. One that she has never debunked because it always worked when was about to sneeze in a place she didn’t want to sneeze in. And that included the first time when she just wanted to see if it was true so she could say it all those other moments that followed. However, every time she was about to completely say it out loud, another one erupted from her nostrils. The sensation it caused never ceased to exist for the next twenty seconds, the messages sent to her through chat zooming by faster than ever. She was finally able to make it go away when she said the name of the fruit rapidly, letting out a sigh of relief.

At the end of the sensory fest, she heard someone mention her name. “I still think it’s Wolfie. She always has a quick excuse and hasn’t even defended herself yet.”

“Wait-” Her eyes widened as she unmuted herself, leaning closer to the monitor as she hit her desk repeatedly. “Stop pulling this shit, Corpse!! It’s not me!”

“Then why didn’t you have a defense?” The often quiet Sykkuno questioned.

“I muted my mic because I couldn’t stop sneezing! I barely heard anything you guys said until now.” She whined, crossing her arms as she continued. “How is no one sussing out Mister Sexy Voice when he’s only been at my throat this whole damn game?”

There was a beat of silence, and then Toast intervened. “What did you just call him?”

“I said what I said.” She retorted.

“She’s just mad that I caught her red handed.”

“No you didn’t, bitch. It’s not me.”

“Do you guys see that? She’s only that vulgar when she’s riled up. And what other reason does she have than being the impostor and getting upset when she’s called out?”

“Fuck off, Dead Man.”

“Sorry Kirsy, there are only five of us left now. I have to go with Corpse on this one.” Sykkuno explained, the small voted bubble popping up next to his character.

“What?!” She exclaimed, putting her face in her hands and slouching over the keyboard. She watched helplessly as she was the only person who didn’t vote for herself, a short string of unfriendly words about the unfair result before she rested back into the gaming seat. “Este hombre literalmente me mató.” She muttered to her chat, one of her mods activating the translation bot she had to add in.

[This man literally just got me killed.]

After thanking them briefly, she sighed and followed the animation of her purple, wolf eared astronaut falling out of a bright blue sky, as the words ‘wolfie was ejected’ typed themselves out. Rae began to freak out the second she realized there was still one killer left, apologizing while also claiming that it was now Corpse since he actually was targeting the Spanish streamer.

“SOMEONE PRESS THE BUTTON. SOMEONE PRESS THE DANG BUTTON!!”

Rae began running around while the horned sprite merely stood beside the emergency button. Kirsy couldn’t help but laugh when Toast and Sykkuno did nothing but let their astronauts stand there and watch the ordeal, all while they let out their own frustrations between fits of laughter. When he finally moved his little tuxedo man, it was only in spite of the last girl standing, the two colors chasing one another around the Polus office table.

After five more seconds, someone finally decided to call a meeting once the cooldown ended, and the loud discussion began.

“I’M SORRY, WOLFIE. I promise to avenge you!”

The young woman shook her head in amusement, reading through the stream’s chat while the three of them argued against Corpse until voting could start.

the audacity-

you should’ve said pineapple sooner

HOW DOES HE LIE LIKE THAT

never trust a man named after a dead body

At that, Kirsy let out a snort, earning plenty of teasing from her followers. Biting back with banter of her own, she allowed her hearing to heighten as she talked to the viewers. Her friends were still going at each other about the last decision round and how the man made them kill off an innocent crewmate.

She kept herself occupied by also engaging in conversation with the others executed by Corpse and Lily. She got caught in the second round when she vented right as two other people walked into the security room. After she couldn’t come up with a viable defense and was voted off, she sabotaged every second she was able to in order to help her fellow impostor. Now, however, she knew the end had come. No one turned back towards the survivor versus criminal situation until the sound effects of votes being made went off from the speakers.

Dark brown orbs watched intently as pink, cyan and lime green emojis popped up underneath his player name. A deep sigh tumbled through her headset as she grinned, emitting one large clap when the victory screen faded in. “THANK YOU. He killed my damn coffee man.” She exclaimed, counting back to when Seán admitted who his killer was once she became a ghost herself.

She still had little over an hour left of stream with the others, and quickly made sure she stole the color black from Corpse, as well as copying his little outfit, just like her chat suggested.

While everyone was reeling from the near defeat in the last round even when the new one began, Corpse had his astronaut follow her to her first task. When the other player that was in the room left, he spoke up. “Hey, Kirsy. There was something I forgot to tell you during the last game.”

“What?”

“Bless you.”

Before a sarcastic remark could be uttered, an animation of her being shot by his purple boy flashed across her screen.

“...”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

#youtubers #youtube #youtuber #corpse x reader #corpse imagines #corpse x you #corpse among us #among us #jacksepticeye #valkyrae #x reader #crankgameplays #ethan nestor #disguised toast #sykkuno #x oc

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mortallyshytrash · 2 years

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Request’s and Suggestions?

Hello fellow humans, and welcome to my tumblr. I am a writer, and fairly good at it too, and was wondering if you wanted to request anything. People I write for consist of:

MARVEL Peter Parker; Andrew and Tom Matt Murdoc Druig Sprite Bucky Barnes

Hank

Kurt Loki Wanda Quill Zemo Dr. Stephen Strange Scott Lang

Supernatural Dean Castiel Lucifer Gabriel

Shadow and Bone/ Six of Crows Inej Kaz Jesper Matthias Wylan Darkling Mal Zoya

DC Beastboy Joker Harlequin Poison Ivy Barry; Flash Robin Shazam; From the movie Death Stroke Raven Starfire Mera Jason Todd TMNT turtles

Harry Potter Ron Draco Fred George Hermione Neville Ginny Snape Oliver

Actors/Youtubers Dane DeHaan Jack Dylan Grazer Finn Wolfhard Aiden Gallagher Tom Felton Barry Keoghan Crankgameplays; Ethan Nestor Andrew Garfield Tom Holland Bill Hader Sebastian Stan Evan Peters Freddy Carter Asher Angel Zachary Levi Timothée Chalamet Freddie Highmore Asa Butterfield Thomas Brodie-Sangster Dylan O’Brian Eddie Redmayne

Umbrella Academy Five Klaus Diego Vanya

The Maze Runner Newt Thomas Gally Brenda

The Queen's Gambit Beth Benny

Steven Universe Any of them

Chronicle Andrew

The Office Jim Dwight Mike Karen Pam

Fnaf Any of them

SVTFOE Any of them

authors note; If you want to add some of your own characters that you prefer, just request them and I will see what I can do. I write for oc’s, x reader’s, and character x character. Blurbs, imagines, and full on stories are my specialty.

The only thing I don’t write as of right now are mature stories, that include smut. Maybe later, but I currently cannot.

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findroleplay · 2 years

Note

hello! looking for an 18+ roleplay

my fandoms

greys anatomy

crankgameplays (ethan nestor)

markiplier

jacksepticeye

sapnap

quackity

karl jacobs

outer banks

star wars

i am willing to double! i do oc x cannon. i live on the east coast and have a full time job. i responf as often as i can! NSFW isn’t required but i would appreciate if it was incorporated thanks! like if you’re interested

#roleplay #rp #grey's anatomy rp #crankgameplays rp #markiplier rp #jacksepticeye rp #sapnap rp #quackity rp #karl jacobs rp #outer banks rp #star wars rp #oc rp

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spiced-honeynash · 3 years

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Hey! I'm 21 non-binary looking for a roleplay partners to play Crankgameplays/Ethan Nestor for myself.

I generally double up so as you play a character/person for me, I'll play a character/person for you. OC x Canon or OC x OC is okay with me.

Must be literate. Semi-lit to para. I like to write so 5+ lines at least. I understand having off days as well, so don't stress to much. Must be 18+, no exceptions. I am an adult.

Other fandoms I'm into include:

Supernatural (CW show)

Rick and Morty (show)

Gravity Falls (show)

Sweet Home (show)

Markiplier (YouTube)

Jacksepticeye (YouTube)

Corpse Husband (YouTube)

Undertale (video game)

Monsta X (kpop group)

My discord is honeyNash#5383

Shoot me a message here or there.

#markiplier #markipler egos #crankgameplays #crankgameplays ego #Crankgameplays roleplay #open roleplay #ethan nestor #literate roleplay #roleplay request

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hiramtrash · 4 years

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Writing Commissions Now Open!

Hello! So a few months ago I started taking gif commissions, but now I am happy to announce that I will also be doing writing as well!

Additionally, if anything you want written isn’t included in this post, please just contact me and ask!

Contact me to set up a commission:

Email: [email protected]

Discord: HiramTrash#0160

Or just DM me here!

Perks to commissioning me for writing:

A variety of fandoms and characters I am happy to write.

The option for an OC to be included!

You decide on the length.

I can have your commission finished within 48 hours!

CLICK KEEP READING FOR TYPES OF WRITING AND FANDOMS I’LL DO + PRICING.

Rules and Info:

I really don’t like writing smut, so please respect that.

I won’t write anyone under the age of 18+

Types of writing I will do:

x readers (reader inserts)

character x character

Fanfiction series (multiple chapters)

One-shots

Song-fics

Head-canons

Most to least lists

Imagines/Scenarios/Reactions

Guides for writing

Proofreading

Bios and profile blurbs

OC work (see special pricing exception)

Pricing - EURO only unless we discuss otherwise.

Reader Inserts - €5

Character x Character - €5

Fanfiction Series - €5 per chapter

One-Shots - €8

Song-fics - €6

Head-canons - €2 per 5 points

Most to Least List - €1

Imagines/Scenarios/Reactions - €2

Guides for writing - €5 - €10 depending on topic

Proofreading - €8

Bios and profile blurbs - €8

OC Work - To be discussed

Fandoms I will write for if it’s fanfiction

The Flash

Markiplier + Egos

Jacksepticeye + Egos

Crankgameplays + Egos

Glee

Riverdale

Harry Styles

Louis Tomlinson

Emmerdale

Disney

Just ask about characters/princesses/princes

Other fandoms - just ask - also I may add to this list later.

#commission #creative writing #writing commissions #writing community #freelancer #freelance writing #oneshot #headcanon #writer for hire #original character

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claireshroom · 7 years

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Forgiveness

So, couldn't get to sleep and then this happened. Fun times. ~*~ Word Count: 2,920 Summary: Kayla and Mark were happily married. They had a beautiful baby boy. But bad things happen to everyone, and sometimes you just need someone's forgiveness to be happy. (P.S.- heavily inspired by Hamilton's Take a Break, Say No To This, Burn, Stay Alive Reprise, & It's Quiet Uptown.) ~*~ Eleven Years Ago ~ (27) "He's beautiful," Kayla says softly. "He really is," Mark agrees. The couple stares lovingly at the bundle of light blue blankets in Kayla's arms. Mark stands and kisses Kayla's temple. He exits the room, Kayla following him with her eyes before they trail back down to her newly born son. "You have a wonderful father, Riley," she whispers, gently running her thumb over his cheek. "He'll always care about you just like he does for me." She smiles happily and Mark walks back in, closely followed by four others. Amy, Kayla's best friend since preschool, Ethan, Kayla's younger brother, Tyler, a great friend and godfather to Riley, and Kathryn, another great friend and godparent. Kayla smiles brightly at all of them and Amy squeals, rushing forward to look at the baby boy held close to Kayla. "Oh, he's so adorable," she gushes giddily. Tyler smiles widely at Kayla and walks around the bed, resting a hand on the back of the hospital bed. Ethan walks beside Amy then freezes. "Dude, I'm an uncle," he says, as if suddenly realizing. Kayla laughs softly as Ethan's face turns to one of absolute joy. "Oh my god, I've got a nephew! Holy crap!" The group laughs and Kathryn stands beside Tyler, grinning happily at the scene before her. Mark kneels down between Amy and the wall, grasping Kayla's free hand. "I love you," he says. "I love you, too," she responds without hesitation. Nine Years Ago ~ (29) "Mark," Kayla calls from just behind the threshold of his office. "Just a second," Mark responds, hunched over the keyboard and typing hastily. "There's a surprise waiting downstairs," she adds. "I'll be down in a minute," Mark says. "Mark." Mark turns around and sees Kayla standing with her arms crossed in the doorway, dressed casually in a floral print dress and a pair of sneakers. "Okay, okay," he surrenders, standing as Kayla smiles widely. She grabs his hand once he's close enough and pulls him upstairs. They reach the kitchen door, closed, which is very rare. Mark looks down at Kayla, smiling confusedly. She just grins up at him and stands behind him, covering his eyes as the door opens from the inside. He walks forward blindly until Kayla keeps him back by stopping herself. She moves her hands away and Mark takes in the scene. "Surprise!" the whole group shouts happily, Amy holding Riley on her hip and doing jazz hands with her free one. Tyler sits in a chair at the table, Ethan's standing behind him. Kathryn stand in between Ethan and Amy. On the table in front of them is a cake with two candles on it; a two and a nine. The designs on the top are those of which he knows only Kayla could make; delicate curly cues in blue and red icing, petite multicolored flowers, and 'Happy Birthday' written in beautiful blue cursive. Mark turns slightly and looks at Kayla, who's smiling up at him. "Happy birthday!" she says sincerely. The nights passes quickly with several goofy selfies, a lot of laughter, and a face smashed into a slice of cake. Later, Kayla slips silently out of her, Mark, and Riley's room after tucking him in, walking quietly back to the kitchen where Mark sits at the table with the half eaten cake. She walks around him and sits across from him, mentally preparing herself. "You know, I was think about how hard you've been working recently," she starts. "And I was also thinking that you, me, and Riley could go spend the summer at my family's summer home." Mark looks at her sadly. "I have so much I have to do here for the channel," he says. "I . . . I know, but you could take some of your recording equipment with us and you could turn one of the rooms into your temporary recording studio," she says. "Then you could still record your videos but still be on vacation with me and Riley." Mark's sighs and drops his head. Kayla watches him without saying anything, silently praying he'll say yes. She crosses her ankles under the chair as she waits for him to respond. Mark looks back up at her then drops his gaze and takes her hands in his. He looks directly at her before responding. "Kayla, I really, really want to go with you, but it will be really, really hard to work out of a completely new setup," he reasons. Kayla is the one to drop her gaze this time. "You haven't had a vacation in so long," she says softly. "I just want to spend some time with you, just you and me. I mean, Riley will be there but there's always nap time and we could hire a babysitter." "Kayla . . ." The couple is silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry," Mark says, breaking the silence and squeezing Kayla's hands, still in his. Mark looks up at Kayla, who keeps her eyes on the skirt of her dress. He sees a tear drop from her face and splash onto the floral fabric, absorbed quickly by the cloth. Nine Years Ago (After Riley and Kayla vacationed with her family) ~ (29) "Kayla!" Amy shouts happily, running from the front door to her best friend as the Uber driver pulls away from the driveway. "Amy!" Kayla yells back just as happy. The two hug and Amy feels something hug her legs. She looks down and sees Riley gripping her legs tightly. "Auntie Amy!" he greets. The two women laugh and Kayla hoists Riley up onto her hip and Amy grasps the handle of Kayla's suitcase. The friends walk into the house and Kayla takes a deep breath. "I missed this place," she says. Amy grins and places the suitcase by the stairs. She extends her arms, gesturing for Riley. Kayla hands him over then runs up the stairs. She reaches her and Mark's room and opens the door quickly. She starts to call out for her husband then catches sight of the two figures in the bed, both of them asleep on either sides of the bed. Mark's and some girl she's never seen in her life. She's sound asleep on her side of the bed, her long black hair messy and tangled. Kayla covers her mouth and stumbles backward out of the room. She keeps her balance only by leaning against the wall. The shock fades away to a new emotion, anger. She sets her features and runs back down the stairs, passing a very confused looking Amy. She tries to question her, setting Riley down on the couch beside her then running after her friend. Riley doesn't follow, instead venturing off to find Chica. Amy chases Kayla, eventually catching her halfway down the street. "Kayla, what the hell are you-?" she starts, buts cuts herself off at the sight of Kayla's tear streaked face. The anger the fueled her to try to run as far away from Mark as possible changed to sadness. Sadness so intense and pure she collapses to her knees in a mess of tears and sobs. Amy instinctively drops down in front of her and hugs her tightly to her, letting her cry into her shoulder. Amy rubs her back soothingly, still unsure of what happened but knowing her best friend needs her. Once Kayla manages to regain herself enough to form words Amy asks her what happened. Kayla tells her shortly what she saw and Amy's immediate reaction was to storm back to the house and kick Mark's ass. But Kayla begs her to just go get Riley and a car. Amy follows Kayla's request and the two best friends drive away from the house with Riley secure in the backseat. They drive all the way to Suzy's house, a very good friend of both Amy and Kayla. When the two show up at her doorstep at nearly one in the morning, rain already starting to fall behind them, she immediately brings them inside. "Okay," Suzy says, setting three mugs of coffee and one cup of apple juice with a straw on the table. The women all take a cup of coffee and Kayla helps Riley with his juice. The four drink for a few moments in silence, Amy and Suzy attempting to have a silent conversation while Kayla refuses to look at either of them. "So, what happened?" Suzy finally asks. Amy expects Kayla to respond, but the short brunette seems at a lack of words. When she doesn't, Amy answers for her. "Mark cheated on her," she says. Suzy's jaw drops and Kayla's eyes fill with tears. "Why the hell did he do that?" Suzy asks. "I don't freaking know!" Amy says. "The complete ass refused to take a vacation with Kayla and Riley, then she comes back a week before expected and she finds him asleep with another girl in their bed!" Kayla still avoids either woman's gaze. She doesn't know what else there is to say. Suzy reaches forward a grasps Kayla's hand. "Honey, I can't even begin to imagine what the must be like," she says sincerely. "But I do know that if that man is stupid enough to think that he should cheat on you, then he does not deserve the beautiful, intelligent, absolutely amazing woman you are." Kayla smiles sadly and moves her own hand to squeeze Suzy's back. "Thank you," Kayla says. Half a Year Ago ~ (36) Kayla and Mark never got divorced, but they no longer live with each other. It took Ethan a very long time before becoming civil with Mark again, furious with him for cheating on his sister. Kathryn and Tyler tried hard to see both sides of the story, and were peacemakers more than anything. Amy still hasn't forgiven Mark for what he did those seven years ago and currently lives with Kayla and Riley in a large apartment. Kayla rarely talks to Mark, and Mark doesn't go a day without feeling guilty for what he did. The two share custody over the now ten year old Riley, him spending every other weekend with his dad. Riley doesn't know the full story of why his mom and dad don't love each other anymore, he just knows dad did something very bad that mom can't forgive. And for now, that's all he needs to know. Kayla hasn't dated anyone since Mark, and doesn't plan to, and Mark is still in love with Kayla. But he knows that if Kayla never forgives him, then that's that. Kayla is currently watching a rerun of some old cartoon, her legs curled under her as she watches the television. Riley is with his dad for the weekend as he is every other weekend. Few words actually spoken between the once happily married couple as Kayla dropped Riley off at Mark's house. "Be good for your father. Do your homework, don't stay up too late. Ti amo." "I will, mom. Love you, too." "Mark." "I'll look after him, Kayla." And with a curt nod to Mark and a loving ruffle of the hair to Riley she left, driving away with a wave to her son. She expected it to be just like any other weekend Riley went to stay with his father. She'd get a call later that night from her son's phone, they'd say their goodnights and then that would be that until Kayla went to go pick him up on Sunday. But it was much too early for Riley's phone call when her phone went off. She has weekends off, so it's not work. When she looks at her phone's screen and sees an unrecognized number, she answers it curiously. "Hello, Kayla Fishbach speaking," she answers formally. "Hello, Miss Fishbach," a calm and prepared woman's voice responds. "I'm calling from Southern Los Angeles Hospital to let you know that your son has been injured in a shooting earlier today." Kayla feels her heart stop for a moment and the next she's sprinting from her apartment with a pair of cheap sandals on. She drives well above the speed limit to the hospital and parks messily, rushing inside and demanding where her son is. She's given instructions and she follows them quickly, making her way to a room only two doors down from the emergency room. She bursts into the room and sees Mark standing above Riley. He turns and takes in Kayla's appearance, but Kayla's eyes are locked on her son's form. He's lying on a hospital bed, originally white bandages bled through. Kayla lets out a sharp breath then runs to Riley's bedside. "Is he going to survive this?" she asks quickly. Mark doesn't respond and Kayla looks up at him. Riley grabs his mother's arm and her attentions snaps back to him. "Mom, it's not dad's fault," he says. "Oh, honey, I know," she says, placing her hand in the side of his face. "I know it's not." Riley winces in pain and Kayla swallows thickly, tears already spilling down her face. "Hey, baby remember when I first taught you Italian?" she asks trying to distract him. "Yeah," he says smiling weakly. "It was uno, due, tre, quattro, cinque." "That's right," she says. "Sei, sette, otto, nove, dieci. D'you know what's next?" Mark watches his son and his wife recite the words to each other, unable to add anything as he watches his son's life slip through his fingers. "It's, um, it's undici . . . dodici. . . tre . . ." Riley's voice fades and his head falls to the side. Kayla stares down at him, hunched over. "Tredici," she says. "Riley. Riley, its tredici. Riley." Kayla stares at Riley, her face a mixture of shock and disbelief. Mark can't do anything but watch as her features change to that of a contortion of grief and horror and sadness. A scream, inhuman, tumbles from Kayla's throat. It's the most pain filled, grief stricken scream he's ever heard, and watching it fall from Kayla's lips pains Mark more than any torture ever could. Mark stares dumbfounded as his wife collapses onto the chest of her lost child, tears pouring down her face. He starts to put his hand on her shoulder, but loud sobs erupt from her small figure and he draws his hand back. He's gone. The one thing that provided the smallest amount of contact between the two once lovers. The being that Kayla cared for for ten and a half years. The young boy that kept Kayla from her darkest times, joking with her, helping her cook dinner. He's gone. Present day ~ (37) The two parents were able to reconnect over the loss of their child. They kept each other afloat in the maelstrom of depression. Amy was wary at first of the rekindling of friendship between the two, but grew to understand they needed each other more than even they realized. Tyler, Kathryn, and Ethan all found that Kayla being back in Mark's life caused him to be much more happy. Similarly, Suzy and Amy realized the same for Kayla. The two never tried to recreate what they had before; a marriage. A happy romantic relationship. No, they simply grew to become the best of friends once again. No matter how much Mark still knows he loves Kayla, he does not try to pressure her into anything. Kayla slowly realizes that she still loves Mark just as he does for her. But Mark has a plan to truly apologize for everything he did all those years ago. Because he knows he just needs her to understand how horribly sorry he is. The two walk through the park as the sun sets, side by side. Eventually, they make it to the spot they always stop. A grassy hill looking down on a large pond covered in blossoming lily pads. They sit, Mark pulling one of his knees close to his chest while Kayla simply sits cross legged. "Kayla," he starts, looking over at her as she turns her head towards him curiously. "I know I really, truly don't deserve you. I know everything I did was awful and I don't deserve this friendship. But, please know that I'm so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry and I wish I could erase what I did. But I can't and I have to live with this sinking feeling that I am one of the worst people. I was such an idiot, and I just want you to know that I am so sorry." Kayla, drops her gaze from Mark's eyes and turns back to the pond. Mark does the same, knowing that he doesn't deserve her acceptance of his apology. They stay like that for a while, just sitting on the grass and looking at the park. Then Kayla takes Mark's hand in hers. He looks over at he and sees her looking down with their intertwined fingers. A small smile is on her lips as she looks at their hands. She looks up at him slowly "That proves that you're not a horrible person," she says. Her short sentence ends the conversation and the two look back ahead of them. Kayla moves closer to Mark and rests her head in his shoulder. Mark looks at her briefly, noticing the tired look on her face. But, she still has a small smile, and that's all he needs. He looks back ahead of him and smiles to himself, resting his head on top of Kayla's. This is all he needs. Forgiveness. "Thank you."

#markiplier #oc #Markiplier x oc #crankgameplays #tyler scheid #amy nelson #verytiredkat #ethan nestor #mark fischbach #teamiplier #peebles #iceddarkroast #apocalypto 12

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miguels-talons · 6 years

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(tumblr messed up the quality)

Hello!

So as many of you know, I write fanfiction for YouTube and a few other fandoms! Well, because I need money for personal reasons and I have come to realize that I have been posting requested fanfiction because a handful of people actually enjoy my writing. So, today, I thought I’d be one of the first people to take writing commissions! That’s right, writing commissions because I can’t draw for shit! I know I probably won’t be getting a lot of commissions, but I figured I’d try anyway just in case! I do need the money ;3;

So! Here’s how I decided to divide parts and money! The drawing was done by my good friend @cuckaleks (here’s his commission information: info ):

Writing Samples:

Christmas Sweaters

Villa’s Edge

Will write:

Markiplier/Jacksepticeye/Crankgameplays/Dan and Phil

Stranger Things

Star Wars

Be More Chill

OC/Original stories(If I’m given enough information)

Batman/Bat Family

Amyplier/Septiishu

Mileven

Boyf Riends

Will not write:

Smut/lemon/lime/rape/ANY SEXUAL CONTENT

Septiplier/Crankiplier/CrankiTyler/Cranksepticeye/Weebles

Pewdiepie

Kylux/Reylo

X Readers

If you can’t buy anything then please reblog to help! Thanks!

#mine #wow i talk #commission #commision info #writing #markiplier #jacksepticeye #crankgameplays #peebles #wiishu #amyplier #septiishu #star wars #stranger things #mileven #be more chill #batman #bat family #boyf riends

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rosegoldkitty · 7 years

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Change Your Role (Princess Protection Program)

Note: This work is going to be a fanfiction series following the premise of the Disney Channel Original Movie Princess Protection Program. All credit for the original concepts featured in this movie belong to Disney, not to me.

This story is Character x OC Character and it’s main characters include the members of “Teamiplier” aka Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Ethan Nestor (CrankGameplays), Tyler Scheid (Apocalypto_12), Amy Nelson (Planet Peebles and icedarkroast), and Kathryn Knutsen (verytiredkat). For information on who the love interest for the story will be, see the comment section under the first chapter of the story.

Story Summary:

Princess Estée of the country known as Bascaria lives as normal of a life as any princess can until her father passes away. Now, she must become queen upon her quickly arriving eighteenth birthday. When a horrible surprise arrives for the princess at her practice coronation, her life is turned upside down. Suddenly, she is going to places she doesn't know and encountering an agency called the "Princess Protection Program". What is this agency's purpose? How will the well known Mark Fischbach cross the princess's path? What part will Mark's friends Ethan, Tyler, Amy, and Kathryn play? Which person will the princess grow unusually close to, perhaps closer than just friends? Read to find out.

Link to the story’s opening/summary page:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/112131441-change-your-role-princess-protection-program

Link directly to the first chapter:

https://www.wattpad.com/423825959-change-your-role-princess-protection-program-a-day

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ao3feed-hamilton · 4 years

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by Maura_Moo

Mark hated hospitals. They were always so large, with people crawling around them like rats. The smell of blood and bodily fluids mixing with the smell of stale cleaning solution and re-cooked microwave meals. They made his head swim and his heart pound with painful guilt. His feet pounded against the freckled linoleum like fingers across staccato piano keys. The walls shot past his eye-line like bullets. He felt sick and stupid.

Words: 1593, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: markiplier - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, hamilton:an american musical

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Characters: Mark Fischbach, Meredith Blackwood, Ethan Nestor

Relationships: Ethan Nestor/Original Character(s), Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Death, Character Death, Hamilton AU, One Shot, Angst, shot, Hurt Ethan Nestor, Markiplier - Freeform, Butterfly, Blood, Adopted Children, Child Death, Hospital, POV Third Person, I cried writing this, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Youtuber - Freeform, CrankGameplays - Freeform, based on stay alive, Reprise, Song: Stay Alive (Reprise), Pain, upset, Sadness, dad markiplier, Human Mark Fischbach, mentioned adultery, Markiplier x OC - Freeform

from AO3 works tagged 'Hamilton - Miranda' https://ift.tt/2V3c3ko

#IFTTT #ao3feed #Hamilton #fanfic

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sweetnestor · 6 years

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When I Met You | Chapter 3

teamiplier x oc, angst/platonic/romantic

PREVIOUS FICS (if you’re new, start there)

previous chapter

“It's one of those things people say. 'You can't move on until you let go of the past.' Letting go is the easy part, it's the moving on that's painful.” -Meredith Grey

Despite wearing a clean black blazer under a red button up, Ethan felt underdressed. He probably shouldn’t have worn skinny jeans and Chucks. He looked around at all the movie stars decked out in Gucci or Versace and couldn’t help but feel inadequate. It wasn’t just because they were more expensive and successful than he ever will be, it was also because he was at a movie premiere for a movie he was not in at all. He didn’t even get invited through Maker, he was invited by one of his friends.

No, not Mark. He was invited, yes, but his plus one was always Amy. Oh, and they were definitely more dressed up than Ethan. Mark had on a navy blue suit, and Amy was in a matching navy maxi dress. They were definitely the power couple of the evening, fitting together perfectly.

The friend that did invite Ethan was currently at the barricades, signing things and taking photos with fans. He was in a dapper grey suit, radiating euphoria and happiness and everything Ethan wished he could feel.

That’s how he knew things were still shitty. Ethan was at a fucking movie premiere, all dressed up, hanging out with his friends, and he felt alone. He felt out of place and weird. He almost wanted to go home. What was stopping him from ditching this whole thing?

“Is that Ethan?” called the British friend of his as he made his way back from the barricades. “Oh my god, Ethan Nestor?”

He couldn’t help but smile as he waved at Tom Holland. The two of them approached each other and hugged. A flurry of screams came from the barricades. Apparently, Ethan and Tom’s unexpected friendship was a topic of interest online since the Infinity War premiere last year. No one knew how they met, and any ‘story’ of their friendship had a million and one inconsistencies. It’s not like either of them could say they switched bodies for a period of time. Well, they could, but who would believe it?

“Thanks for coming, man,” Tom told him excitedly. “You alright? Who are you here with? Where’s-”

“Hey, man!” Mark made his entrance at the perfect time. He shook Tom’s hand, distracting him from finishing that question.

They, along with Amy, chatted for a bit. Ethan stood among them, feeling even more out of place. He knew that Tom didn’t know what happened, but Ethan still felt a pit of annoyance in his chest over what he was about to ask. He had feelings, feelings that were dialed up to eleven these days.

“So is Bella here, too?” Tom finally asked. He looked around as if he was trying to spot her bright pink hair in the crowd.

“She’s out of town,” Amy answered without hesitating. Wasn’t a lie, but the way she deadpanned gave off the vibe that things weren’t okay.

“We should be getting into the theatre,” Mark said, taking his girlfriend’s hand. “Ethan, come on.”

The couple started walking up the carpet, but Ethan remained where he stood in front of Tom, who looked confused at the sudden change in atmosphere. He might as well drop the bomb for the thousandth time.

“We broke up. Well, I broke up with her, and she uh, she skipped town.”

The excitement disappeared from Tom’s face. “Shit. I’m sorry. Wait, what do you mean she skipped town?”

Ethan shrugged. “She’s been gone for a couple of months now and we don’t know where she went. But she’s talking to our - my, her... friends, so she’s definitely alive.”

Tom was shocked by this. He had plenty of questions, Ethan could tell. But instead, Tom put his arm around Ethan’s shoulders and led him down the carpet. “I know just what you need, mate…”

The movie was… an adventure. Definitely got Ethan’s mind off of things. But that wasn’t where the night began.

“Alright, mate. Come with me.”

Ethan lost Mark and Amy on the way out of the theatre. He felt Tom’s hand on his back as he ushered him through the crowd, almost like he was in a hurry. Ethan pulled his phone out as he walked out into the night, wanting to text his companions. Might as well let someone know where he goes before his inevitable death.

He just had a feeling about tonight. He had no idea what kinds of things Tom got down to when he wasn’t… being a superstar. Over the last few months, the two had been texting on and off, talking about making plans but never going through with them because of distance and schedules. Tonight, though, the plan was set.

Next thing he knew, Ethan was being led into a giant SUV by a security guard. Tom climbed in after him into the middle seat, followed by his friend Harrison. Ethan remembered him, he remembered those strange twelve days, he just couldn’t say that out loud for obvious reasons. For a second, the three of them sat in the backseat, Tom and Ethan were typing on their phones, completely oblivious.

“Mate, who’s this?” Harrison asked after a moment, leaning over to peer at Ethan.

Tom looked up suddenly. Apparently, he hadn’t forgotten the switch either. “Oh, sorry. This is Ethan, the friend I’ve told you about.”

“Hey,” greeted Ethan as he held his hand out.

Harrison clasped his hand with a smile. “Nice to finally meet you. You hanging out with us, then?”

“Oh yeah, Ethan needs a night out,” Tom said. “And we're gonna give him the best night.”

The best night turned out to be a night Ethan could not entirely remember the following day. He had a fuzzy memory of some exclusive after party and really good liquor. Next thing he knew, he was hungover in a hotel room. He was relieved that he had woken up fully clothed, apart from the blazer, and that he still had his wallet and phone.

Apart from the worried texts from Mark, Amy, and Kathryn, there was a new text from Tom.

“Hey! Sorry I had to leave you behind, we had a flight to catch. Don't worry about the room, it's on me. Last night was really fun! We need to get together more often. Text me if you're ever in London✌”

Ethan replied with, “You really know a good time dude. Let's do it again sometime! And please, let me pay you back for the hotel. You really didn't have to get me a room lol"

Then he got up and grabbed his blazer that was hanging on the chair across the room. While he had little recollection of what had happened last night, Ethan was glad to have forgotten about the bad stuff for a while. In fact, he wanted to keep forgetting the bad stuff. Sure, it was easy for him to get distracted, but last night was the first time he’s genuinely had fun in a while. The sad feelings weren’t sitting in the back of his head this time, it was like they were permanently gone.

How could he feel like that again?

Cinco de Mayo.

When you leave someone, you spend a good amount of time wondering if you made the right decision. A lot of the time, you feel really, really guilty for hurting the other person. You start to feel ashamed that they weren't doing it for you anymore, and you wonder if you should have made a sacrifice to keep them happy. But to do that, you made yourself unhappy, so you leave, and that makes you the bad guy.

Ethan had plenty of things to keep himself busy, especially today. He threw himself into making videos, and he streamed for five hours right after recording. At least now he didn't have to decide between streaming and spending time with another person. But there also wasn't anyone to remind him to drink water… or to bring him food while he edited.

It frustrated Ethan that he remembered certain dates when he didn’t want to. He remembered Bella’s birthday, and he knew how old she was turning. He remembered the year before when they stayed at his, ordered takeout, and watched La La Land. He remembered when she pulled him off the couch and danced with him when each song came on.

Now he was alone and thinking about what Bella could be doing now. If he knew who she was with he could probably guess. But he was cut off completely, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

Ethan lived with Kathryn now, so he wasn't stuck in a sad, empty apartment. He was only sad and empty way deep down, and it would only come out when he deliberately listened to Little Mix, or Dodie’s ‘Intertwined.’ Or when he drove past a Sephora. Or when he looked through Bella’s tag on Tumblr. Or now, when he was just thinking about her.

Bella was the first girl to really understand Ethan as a whole. She put up with his bullshit, she put every bit of herself into the relationship. She always understood why Ethan couldn't spend every single moment with her, or why he couldn't always answer her texts. She traveled with him everywhere even if it terrified her. She supported him. She took care of him, she loved him.

Ethan didn't plan on getting into another relationship (the Tinder app on his phone said otherwise), but if he did, would he ever find someone like Bella? Would he ever love someone like he loved her?

It was even worse that the community didn't know what was going on. They all thought that everything was okay, that Ethan and Bella were still together. Although, some people did notice that they were no longer following each other on social media, so there was some speculation. Ethan wasn't even ready to to public with the truth. That was something he had to talk about with Bella, and she was nowhere to be found. Not even on social media.

Besides, making it public felt so final. That once it was out there, it would really make it official. He wouldn't be able to take it back.

And he really wanted to take it back.

Ethan sighed and pulled out his phone. He went to a group chat and sent a message:

“Cinco de Drinko anyone?”

@ariamercer: we here, we queer, and one of us is drunk on karaoke

It was a candid photo of three women singing into a microphone at a bar.

On the left was dance vlogger Aria Mercer, who was much shorter than her two companions. She was in a tight, sleeveless black dress and her curly hair sprung out everywhere. Her face was caught mid-blink, so she looked as intoxicated as she actually was.

On the right was a tall, brown woman with black shoulder length hair. She was caught mid-singing and pointing at something out of frame. She had on a David Bowie t-shirt under white, unfastened overalls, and a red backwards hat. Probably a non-YouTube friend.

In the middle was Bella, except her hair was different. She had short, sideswept bangs across her forehead, and the length of her hair was just past her shoulders. The absence of bright pink made her almost unrecognizable. So did the wide smile on her face as she held the microphone. She wore a black floral crop top and leather leggings; Her fashion sense hadn’t changed.

The photo was deleted an hour after it was posted.

@bellasanti: “let’s see… im one (1) year and one (1) day older and dyeing my hair has become a bit Too Much lately, so I chopped it off and left myself with one (1) pink stripe 💖”

With all of her hair pushed to one side, a single fuschia highlight on the underside of Bella's hair could be seen.

That was the topic of interest in Ethan's stream that afternoon. He saw the picture in his tag on Tumblr, because he was still blocked from her social media. It was the first time he saw her face in a long while. It just showed how much time had passed since they broke up. She looked very pretty, and it made him very sad. He thought he was okay until he saw her face.

“Yeah, she looks… good,” he said shortly in response to one of the many comments. Then he read the first non-Bella related comment to change the subject. “Peen 2? Working on it. Trying to find some sweet, sweet jazz…”

He couldn't really blame her for blocking him… but the creepy stalker side of him was upset that he couldn't see what she was up to. That same side was also pleased that people in the community reposted Bella's tweets and Instagram posts all over. Surely if something huge happened with her, more people would talk about it and he would have heard about it through their mutual friends.

After ending the stream, Ethan went back to his room. He made an excuse about editing videos and making thumbnails, but he was actually hungover and it was getting to him.

He fell onto his bed and rested his eyes for a moment. Then, he remembered another thing he didn’t want to remember. Ethan rolled off the bed and went into the closet, looking down at the white makeup box sitting against the wall. It followed him here during the move, and that was because he hadn't even opened it yet.

He took the box and then went to sit on the bed, placing it next to him. His heart was racing and sinking at the same time as he finally opened it up.

At first glance, it looked like a box of junk. Well, now it kind of was, despite the blow it gave to Ethan's chest.

The hula girl from Bella's car was at the top of the pile. Ethan had forgotten that he gave that to her. There were badges from past PAX’s, all of which she attended for Ethan. There was a Polaroid of the two of them at Bella’s booth at Generation Beauty, which he had attended for her.

There was a VIP badge to the Avengers: Infinity War premiere that they went to last year, along with a printed picture of the two of them on the red carpet. Bella must have cherished their matching black and white attire with her entire heart if this photo found its way into the box.

The bisexual pride flag was the biggest blow of them all. Bella took it down, her first item to express her pride, all because Ethan was the one to give it to her. He felt like the wind was getting knocked out of him.

Underneath the folded flag were two movie stubs. Ethan pursed his lips the way he did when he was trying not to cry. He picked up the tickets, reading the faded ink even though he remembered the only 2 movies he saw with Bella in theatres: La La Land and Spider-Man: Homecoming. Both of those days were special, Ethan just didn't really remember them until now, when it was too late.

Fuck.

Bella’s heart was in her throat. Her hand clutched Jimena’s tightly as she stared at the sign in front of the buildings. Aria was standing behind them, taking pictures to be posted later.

Today was dedicated to visiting locations Bella hadn’t been to in a very long time. It was supposed to be therapeutic. Earlier, the three women visited their old high school. Classes were not in session due to summer, and they couldn’t find a way to sneak in. It was emotional for Aria for her own reasons. Now, Bella was feeling emotional staring at her childhood home, the Gallery Apartments.

“Do you remember which apartment?” Jimena asked gently.

“Three twenty seven,” she replied. She hadn’t thought about that place in years, but the number was drilled into her.

Memory after memory hit Bella just from looking at the sign. She remembered her older cousins trying to climb on top of the sign to sit on it. She remembered her uncles sitting on the brick fence, drinking and chatting with each other. She played in the parking lot with her cousins when they came over. It was like remembering a completely different person.

Next thing she knew, Bella was being led towards one of the buildings. Jimena and Aria were on either side of her, ready to catch her if she spiraled.

“You’re sure they don’t live here anymore, right?” she asked.

“Oh yeah. My mom helped them pack,” Jimena swiftly answered as they approached the stairs.

Bella hadn’t walked up or down these stairs since she decided to leave this place. She also remembered the time she was nine years old and missed the bottom step, causing her to fall and scrape her knees. Her mother’s response? No, not that “sana, sana, colita de rana” crap. Little nine year old Bella cried on the bottom step, and from the apartment, she heard, “Eso es lo que pasa por ser pendeja!” Somehow, that followed Bella into adulthood, and she had used that line on her friends several times.

“Let me go alone,” she told her friends.

“You sure?” Aria asked.

“Yeah. I just… I have to do it alone.”

“We’ll be here,” Jimena reassured.

Bella felt like she was eighteen again. She felt like she was about to march into her parents’ home and… do what? Last time she climbed these steps, she had a boyfriend waiting for her in his car on the curb. All her stuff was packed into two boxes, waiting to be taken out of her room. Her parents were planning on sending her somewhere else, so she had to make a quick plan.

It was the fastest she ever got something done. In less than two weeks, Bella had gotten a job, found a studio apartment with her boyfriend, and packed everything she needed all while hiding out either at school or at Jimena’s house. By the time she had turned eighteen, Bella was ready to leave apartment 327 and start over from scratch.

That’s what this whole trip felt like. Bad things had happened, so she worked quickly to find a place to stay, pack up, and leave. She just hadn’t thought of who she was leaving behind this time. She made a note to call one of her LA friends later.

She saw the muted green door when she was at the top of the staircase. The numbers were gold and dusty, like no one had lived there in years. Maybe her parents were the last to live there. She didn’t want to get any closer, partly because it was too haunting and partly because she did not know if there were any occupants in that apartment.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there for, but she when she turned around to go back down the stairs, she heard the door open.

For a second, Bella’s blood ran cold. For a fleeting moment, she was a sixteen year old girl about to face more backlash from her parents. She froze in her spot, eyes wide, heart rate skyrocketing.

“Can I help you with something?” asked a gruff, husky voice.

Didn’t sound like anyone she recognized. Bella unclenched. She breathed out slowly, making eye contact with her companions downstairs, and then she faced the man.

He was tall, round, and had a beard. He was in a tank top and Star Wars pajama bottoms. Clearly not expecting company.

“I’m sorry,” Bella began. “I just… ah, it’s stupid. I used to live here in this apartment. I was just…” She looked down, not knowing how to explain herself. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave.”

“You famous or something?” the man asked, completely disregarding her words. “You look familiar.”

Usually, if Bella runs into a viewer or anyone who might recognize her from YouTube, she puts on a nice face. Today… today was weird, and she was not in the mood to be a YouTuber.

“I’m nobody,” she told the man. “I’m just a weirdo looking at the abusive home she used to live in. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“No, I’m sure my daughter would know you,” the man said, not wanting to let go of the subject. “Hang on.”

When he ducked his head back into the apartment, Bella turned on her heel and sprinted down the stairs. Jimena and Aria were quick to follow. The three of them ran back out the curb and piled into Bella’s car.

“Okay, time for a meeting,” she said as she started the engine.

______

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #teamiplier x oc #jacksepticeye x oc #sweetheart writes #wimy fic #ooooooooooooooooooooooooo its been a while soz #im getting back into the swing of things #slowly but surely im falling in love with ethan again lulz #also look who made a Special Appearance #he will be Important trust me #and no one cares abt this anymore lmao #not that anyone did in the first place lulz #ok time for work

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sweetnestor · 6 years

Text

When I Met You | Chapter 1

teamiplier x oc, angst/platonic/romantic

PREVIOUS FICS (if you’re new, start there)

“If she's gone, she's gone because she wants to be gone.” -Richard Webber

St. Patrick’s Day

Do you ever do something and then realize you made a big miss steak like, right after you do it? It took Ethan less than a week to realize his mistake. It was only five or six days, and the realization hit him like a bus, and he suddenly wanted to take everything back.

Kathryn told him it was just remorse and guilt from hurting Bella so much. It's never easy to just cut someone off after spending so much time with them. Ethan felt more than just guilt, though.

“I'm just wondering if it was the right thing to do,” he said.

“Give it more time,” Kathryn advised. “Just remember, she hates you right now.”

That wasn't a comforting thought. But she wasn't wrong, either.

It's scary to break up with someone as sensitive as Bella Santiago. It's terrifying when you know she's attempted suicide before. The day after calling it quits, Ethan was notified by a not-very-happy Sean that Bella had not tried to harm herself immediately after getting dumped. She was in distress though, but Tyler and Mark were there for her. Ethan wanted to be there for her, but he knew better than that, and he was also confused. It had gotten to be exhausting having to care for her the way he was.

That's what was so aggravating: how quickly Bella fell into a bad state of mind. Even when was she wasn't in a depressive episode or having a panic attack, she still looked at things with a negative view. Sure it was alluring and mysterious at first, but then it just killed Ethan's mood. It was like there couldn't be any good.

Bella would complain about wanting to be better, and then stay the way she was. Not to mention, the case of nerves she always had would worry Ethan to no end. He was always worried about her, and it affected his daily routine. How long could he keep his phone away before Bella fell into a bout of paranoia? Could they try to go to a restaurant that day, or was Bella too afraid? He ran out of good, comforting things to tell her when she was deep in a panic attack long ago. But he was still there for her, and she depended on him. That was why it took so long for Ethan to call it off.

They had been together for a little over two years. Ethan couldn’t even pinpoint where everything started to disappear between him and Bella. He was just tired.

Yet, even now when it was officially over, Ethan still found himself worrying about her. It was like a reflex. Was she stable? Was she sober? Was she alive? Was he going to be the reason why she would hurt herself? He swore to himself that he would never push her to that point, and he could only hope she would be as strong as she wanted to be.

Ethan didn't feel so great. No one was here to clean his apartment anymore. (She would do that when her mind was extra noisy. Kept her busy.) There wasn't anymore flowery scented body wash he could sneakily use in the shower. (It was really nice and he kept forgetting to ask where she got it from.) There was no one to sleep next to him and hold his hand at night. (She slept on her side, and he on his back. Her hand was always on his chest when he woke up.) There was no one to sing to him.

He missed that aspect so much he couldn't breathe.

He knew Kathryn would try to stop him if she knew, so Ethan made a point not to tell anyone where he was going. He got in his car (another thing: she was always the one driving) and went down to Bella’s apartment about a week and a half after everything ended. He still had to return her key… yup, that was exactly why he was going. He didn't need to see her face one last time or try to pluck up the courage to apologize. Just the key. Keys.

Despite having the bright pink key, Ethan knocked on the front door. He easily could have left the thing under the mat to spare them both but… he totally did not need to see Bella.

He knocked again, his heart pounding. Was she even home? What was she doing?

Ethan quickly used the key to unlock the door, and he barged through the threshold. He peered into the kitchen and listened for any noise.

“Bella?”

He stepped over to the nearest bathroom. Then, the guest room. Everything was eerily silent. He sped over to her room, trying not to go to the worst case scenario.

The room was as disorganized as ever. The bed was unmade. The bisexual pride flag was actually gone from the wall above the bed too. Empty makeup boxes were scattered on the floor, along with some clothes. Ethan's clothes, in particular.

He still had to find Bella, so he went over to the en suite bathroom. His fears were calmed when he pulled back the shower curtain and found the tub empty. So she wasn't home. Now what?

Ethan turned to leave, but then he noticed something. The counter was oddly clean, he had never noticed it was white before because of all the beauty products sat on top of it. The large, black zip up bag of Bella's makeup along with all her brushes were gone. Ethan looked under the sink, where she kept a majority of her collection, and most of the products there were gone too.

“No…” he mumbled as went back out to the room.

One look in the closet indicated that Bella took her clothes as well. Ethan opened all the drawers in her dresser. They had definitely been rummaged through, apart from the drawer that had Ethan's clothes he had left behind.

Bella's laptop, camera, lights, and keyboard were missing. It was like she grabbed all the essentials and disappeared.

Now even more worried (this is the opposite of what he wanted out of this breakup), Ethan went out to the living room, looking around for… well, anything. Bella couldn't have just left without telling anyone, right?

Sort of. She left a note on the dining room table.

“I'm safe. I'm sober. I'm alive. Don't come find me, and don't call if you're only going to ask where I am. -Bella”

Ethan's heart was in the middle of sinking when his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled himself long enough to answer.

“Dude, where are you?” It was Kathryn. “There's a package at your place for you. I think it's from Bella.”

“What? Wait, did you see her?” he asked, surprised.

“No, it was on the doorstep when I got here. Should I get rid of it?”

“No! I…” Ethan looked around the vicinity. Surely someone had to know where Bella was. He couldn't be the only one to worry. “I need you to come to Bella's. I think she packed up and left…”

Within the time it took for Kathryn to get to the apartment, Ethan sent text after text to Tyler, Mark, Amy, Sophie, Sean and Signe. One of them had to know Bella's whereabouts. She told Sean everything, after all. In fact, he was always the first person she told anything to these days.

There was a bit of a panic when everyone had showed up (Sean and Signe were on Ethan's FaceTime.) No one knew that Bella had planned on leaving. She had spoken to Mark and Tyler like everything was okay, there was no sign that she was going to skip town. It was a surprised to all.

Everyone stood around the small circular dining table, phones out, making calls and sending messages on whatever platform they could. There was even talk of publicly tweeting out to be on the lookout for her, but that was just ridiculous.

“We should call the police!” Sophie suggested. “I mean, how do we know she's alive and sober?”

“I trust her,” Tyler said. “I'm worried about where she could have gone, but she has to be sober. She took her car after all.”

“What if she's making us think she went somewhere, but she actually left to…” trailed off Signe from the phone.

A grim silence fell over the group. But then Ethan looked at Sean on his phone.

“You're sure she didn't tell you anything?”

“If I knew she was going to pull something this reckless, I would have told somebody!” he answered somewhat defensively.

“God, this is New Year's all over again,” Sophie said as she plopped down in one of the dining chairs.

Mark spoke up. He had been turning the note over in his hands repeatedly since he showed up. “Where's Aria? Think she would know anything?”

The blonde shrugged. “I texted her, but I doubt it. She doesn't even live in LA anymore.”

“I think we should just let her be,” Kathryn said, which got her a lot of surprised looks. “What? Do you think she'll come back if we just ask nicely? I don't think she wants to be found.”

No one knows what Bella could be up to, that was the problem. Ethan wanted to speak up and argue, but all of this happened because of him. Of course he wanted her to come back, but he didn't think he had any right to ask that of her. Why was he the one to bring everyone here in the first place?

“What if she turns up dead in three days, what will you say then?” Amy said back, giving Kathryn daggers.

“She's not gonna kill herself, she's already tried that,” Ethan mumbled, but no one heard him.

“If she was going to go get hammered or even kill herself, then why would she take all her stuff? Why wouldn't she have done it, I don't know, last week?” Kathryn asked rhetorically.

There was another pause before Sophie asked, “What happened last week?”

Ethan swallowed the lump in his throat. “It's my fault why she left.”

“No, it's not,” Kathryn argued. “You're not accountable for her anymore. Leaving was her choice.”

“But she never would have left if I hadn't broken up with her!”

“This is all because she got dumped?” Sophie quietly asked.

“Hey, when I dumped her she slit her wrists,” Mark told her with a shrug. “Not the worst thing she could pull.”

“Still really dramatic. Like damn, he's just a guy.”

“She runs when things are bad,” Kathryn added. “So we should just let her run.”

“I second that,” Mark added. “Bella is really fucking stubborn, so she won't tell us what she's up to, but I also think she'll let us know if she's in real danger.”

“It’s true,” Tyler said. “She called Sean when…” He glanced at Ethan and picked his words carefully. “When everything went down. She told me and Mark that she didn’t want to go back to her old ways. She’s been seeing her therapist and going to two AA meetings ever since. She’s changed.”

“I still think we should find her,” Sean said without missing a beat. “She might think she’s doing the right thing, but all she’s doing is isolating herself, and we all know how that ended last time.”

“But she's different now,” Ethan said in thought, still holding up his phone. “She knows better than to drink and drive. And she does know how to reach out to people when she needs them. She reached out to you last week.”

“You're the one who called us here,” Tyler said, confused. “What are you saying?”

Ethan didn't know what he was saying. Did it scare him that Bella just left without warning? Hell yes. Did he feel guilty for pushing her to that limit? Obviously. If she had just moped and stayed in bed like she normally did, at least he would have the peace knowing where exactly she was. Yes, he still would have felt guilty for hurting her, but it felt like she turned around and hurt him back by leaving town altogether. Maybe he was just supposed to sit with it instead of trying to fix it.

“You guys are her friends,” Kathryn spoke up. “And now you're aware of the situation. Ethan shouldn't concern himself with what his ex is doing.”

“You're her friend too,” Amy said, sounding hurt. “She would want you to help find her.”

“She doesn't want to be found!” Kathryn snapped. “She's not going to answer any of us! She's not gonna respect us enough to tell us where she went or if she's coming back at all!”

“She has a point,” Signe said from the phone.

“What?” Sean asked, surprised.

“Okay, okay!” Sophie stood from her seat before another argument could start. “Who thinks we should call the police if Bella doesn't call one of us first?”

She, Amy, Tyler, and Sean raised their hands.

“And who thinks we should just leave her alone and wait for her to turn up in a body bag?”

“Okay, when you say it like that-” Ethan tried to argue.

“You don't get a say in this, you're the one who caused this! So those of you who don't want help us find Bella should leave now,” Sophie concluded.

Kathryn stood up, ready to leave. Signe told Sean to get her after the call was over. Mark told Amy he would pick her up later.

Ethan remained where he stood, and the others stared. What would Bella say if he walked out the door? He already did it once. What would Bella say if he stayed? He stayed with her for a long time before eventually walking out.

“Are you staying?” Kathryn asked after what felt like years. She sounded like she was really far away.

“I'm the one who caused this,” he said quietly. “I don't get to decide anything.”

“Let's go then.”

He followed her outside, feeling like he was watching himself from the third person. Kathryn stopped him from going to his car, making him come back into reality for a bit.

“Why would you come here if you're the one who ended it?” she asked seriously.

“I was…” Ethan trailed off. How did he end up at his ex-girlfriend’s apartment again? “Uh, I was bringing back her key… She didn't answer when I knocked, I thought she, um… I don't know.”

“Still worried about her, even when she's gone?”

He nodded, trying to ignore the burning in his throat and the tightness in his chest. At least she didn’t try to kill herself. It was a relief but it was also extremely fucked up to think about that.

“Are you sure you don't want me to get rid of the box?” she asked after a moment.

Ethan shook his head.

_____

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #teamiplier x oc #jacksepticeye x oc #sweetheart writes #wimy fic #here we fucking go time for more angst #2 of you already know what this is #and one of you know exactly where this is going #aaannd exactly 0 of you care #heres my self indulgent projecting coping mechanis #m #and yes there will be a different greys quote with each chapter adhalkhlsafa

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sweetnestor · 6 years

Text

On Days Like This | Epilogue: The Second Gold Chip

teamiplier + oc, romantic/angst/platonic

PREVIOUS FICS (if you’re new here then I suggest reading these first)

previous chapter

In the end, separation was a good thing. Helena had told me and Ethan to spend some time apart, seeing as it could help ease the lingering tension. It was a thing married couples would do if they didn't want to divorce. It was pretty easy for Ethan and I to do so, seeing as we had spent two weeks crammed together on a bus with far too many people on top of the problems we were already facing. We needed time to ourselves, so straight after that therapy session, we went to our respective apartments.

The temporary separation included me staying in LA while Ethan went to Maine for his birthday. It was an order from Helena, which meant that I didn't have to tell Ethan that I couldn't go anyway. It was his 21st, which meant that he was planning on getting fucked up. Nope, I could not be around that. He was in LA for a few days, and then he flew off, taking an Uber to the airport instead of having me drop him off.

Aside from that, I was glad to be back in my own bed, in my own apartment. It was little blessings like this that made me glad I hadn't moved in with Ethan yet, even though we had briefly discussed it over the last few months. But despite the fact that I was savoring my solitude, the aftermath was starting to kick in tenfold.

I was waking up alone, eating alone, going to bed alone. I had nightmares that consisted of giving birth to a corpse and bleeding out on stage. Since returning home, I woke up most mornings by clutching the space next to me in my bed and remembering I couldn’t go to Ethan for comfort.

Mind you, I did mention in the team group chat that I was cutting off communication for the time being to recollect myself. No one seemed to mind. I wanted it that way, to recharge and spend some time with myself, yet the desire to drink was stronger than it had been on tour. I didn't have anything to keep me busy anymore, and my thoughts were racing at a dangerous pace. Being alone was getting dangerous.

Thankfully, I caught myself before I could relapse. I got out of bed and got myself ready for the day. By that I mean, I took the initiative to put on an extreme push up bra, a particularly low v-neck shirt, and a dark lip makeup look. Then I took a selfie, focusing on the cleavage, and sent it to Ethan over Snapchat.

I got a screenshot notification in response. Then, through text:

“I'M WITH MY FAMILY”

Not the first time I was told something like that. It did take my mind away from the deadly liquid for a moment. It was exciting, getting to tease him from the other side of the country. Hadn't felt that in a while.

But he wasn't here. I still felt like drowning in whatever hard liquor I could get my hands on. If I drove, then I couldn't drink. That's a good plan. I got in the car (after changing into a t-shirt) and drove to the first place I could think of.

Thankfully, Mark and Amy were at the office. They had been out and about lately with this new, totally-not-creepy white van Mark had bought. I was expecting them to be busy, already knee deep in a new video. They were discussing potential ideas until they heard my steps up the stairs.

They were quite surprised to see me. Chica, on the other hand, was excited, and I definitely needed to pet her for a bit.

“Hey, Bella,” Mark greeted. “Thought you were, uh, detoxing the human race?”

He wasn't wrong. That was how I worded my text. I had been keen on keeping that promise until I received my four month chip and the desire to ruin it all.

“I decided to cut the detox early,” I said, but then I decided to be honest. “I'm not feeling the best. I need to be busy.”

Both Mark and Amy looked concerned. They gestured for me to sit with them on the couch, so I did. Chica put her head on my lap, almost like she knew I needed comfort.

“Have you drank at all? Are you alright?” Amy asked me.

“I really feel like drinking,” I told them. “It's been bugging me since we got back, and even more now that Ethan's gone.”

“Okay, so you're here because…” Mark trailed off.

“I gotta be around people who can help me stay clean.”

Mark smiled and shared a look with Amy. I could tell he was touched by this statement. We had come a long way, now that I had willingly come to him and his girlfriend and opened up to them. I should be happy about that. I should appreciate having these people in my life.

“So how can we help you?” Amy asked as she placed her hand on my arm.

“I need distractions and other things to think about,” I replied.

“Perfect!” Mark exclaimed. “Wanna make a video with us?”

We drove out to a pumpkin patch on the outskirts of town. We were also joined by Mark's assistant, Evan, who would be wearing the camera harness and act as the viewer yet again. The purpose of today's video was to show who was not acting as the viewer, so we would eventually be joined by Tyler, and then we would find a way to squeeze in Kathryn and Ethan, who were both out of town.

Amy and I were under a little hut, waiting for Mark and Evan to arrive. We were giving off the impression that we just happened to be at this place, and to reveal that neither of us were behind the camera.

“Oh, hey!” Mark greeted when he, Evan, and Chica showed up.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Amy asked, sounding pleasantly surprised.

“Is this your house?”

“Yeah, we live together now,” I said with a smug smile. Amy put her arm around me and pulled me into her side.

Honestly, I wasn't sure how the viewers felt about Amy and I being friends. Not that I should care, I mean. I'm sure it was bizarre to see Mark's ex-girlfriend and his current girlfriend interact nicely on camera.

“It's still really hot,” Mark said as if nothing happened. He looked around at the hut.

After some banter, we went off looking for pumpkins. Evan took the temperature of many pumpkins, Chica got distracted by some goats, and my makeup melted off under the sun. Amy and I stuck together and went our own way, while Mark and Evan went off somewhere else in the patch.

Eventually, Amy and I sat on a thing of hay in the shade. She was comfortable in her red baseball tee and shorts. Meanwhile, I was pretending not to die in my black tee, black leggings and black boots. I did not think any of this through. Then again, I hadn’t planned on going outside today.

“Have you talked to Ethan?” Amy asked me.

“Not since this morning,” I replied, sighing a little bit.

“Are things still… off?”

I shrugged. “I don't know. I just miss him.” I could have said much, much more, but Mark called for Amy.

“Be right back,” she said as she went over to the man with the pumps.

In the meantime, I checked my phone. Nothing from the birthday boy. My heart sank a little bit. Would it be bad to ask how he's doing? The separation wasn't exactly strict, we were allowed to text and such.

Anyway, I had to participate in the video. Mark picked out two small, matching pumpkins for me and Amy to carve later. He picked one for Tyler as well. Then, Mark and Evan went to the little petting zoo set up and hung out with some goats. Then, it was time to pick up Tyler.

Evan, Amy, and I all squished together in the back of the van so the tree man could sit in the front. I stayed busy on my phone to avoid the crippling nerves running through my veins. The rest of the group could banter without me.

“Oh, are you gonna be here for the charity livestream on Saturday?” Mark asked Tyler.

“I can guarantee that I'll be there for part of it,” he replied.

Mark then pointed at Amy. “You gonna be there?”

“Afternoon,” she said.

“You?” He pointed at Evan, who silently fist nodded. “And you, Bella?”

“I'm there,” I said, not looking up from my phone.

“Cool, it's gonna be on Saturday, around ten A.M.”

Finally, we parked somewhere and all piled into the back of the van. It was time to carve the pumpkins. I went over to the back doors of the van and plopped down next to Evan.

I was about to roll up my sleeves until I saw patches of makeup near my wrists. The heat and the fabric of my shirt must have rubbed my hard work away. My stomach sank a little bit. I had no choice but to settle with staying uncomfortably warm and making a mess on myself.

Carving a skull design into my pumpkin turned out to be therapeutic. It was like hitting a punching bag. At one point, tracing little details and intricate designs onto my skull was just calming. I forgot about my worries for a moment there.

“Look at her, she is stunning,” I said when we all presented our pumpkins.

“Where did that inspiration come from?” Mark asked me.

“Emotional turmoil.” I smiled, but quickly took it back. “Joking, joking. It's almost D��a De Los Muertos, so I made this baby.”

Turns out, they all made silly, half-assed decorations on their pumpkins. Standard jack-o-lanterns. Mine was the only one with a serious, detailed design.

Mark and Tyler pretty much handled the rest of the video. They placed our pumpkins on top of the van, and then they FaceTimed Kathryn and Ethan to pick out the best one. Mine won.

After finishing the video, however, Tyler pulled me aside. Mark, Amy, and Evan were cleaning up the pumpkin scraps and the pretended not to overhear us.

“Emotional turmoil?” he repeated suspiciously.

I chuckled. “I can make jokes.”

He gave me a look, and then I cracked.

“I think I'm gonna fall off the wagon,” I admitted. “Once we're done here, I'm gonna go to a meeting.”

“Should someone go with you?”

Knee-jerk reaction: no, I'm fine. I can handle this. Don’t worry about me. Logical reaction:

“Yeah, if you don't mind.”

We went back to the office where I had left my car. Then, Tyler and I said goodbye to the others and went off.

Today's meeting was an open discussion, so Tyler was able to stay in the room while people shared their stories. I rarely participated unless it was a closed discussion. Sometimes just listening to other people's experiences helped my tense emotions.

Today though, I had things to share. I went up to the podium and faced the sizeable group of people. Maybe the fact that I had a friend in the crowd helped give me the courage I needed. I didn’t have Ethan here to help me, but I had a friend.

“At the beginning of this month, I had a miscarriage…”

“And so it seems I broke your heart My ignorance has struck again I failed to see it from the start And tore you open til the end”

I felt noticeably better when the meeting was over. I didn't feel as close to the edge as I did before, but Tyler was still going to spend the night at my place just to be safe. Now, I was watching back the cover I recorded.

“Sorry to my unknown lover Sorry that I can't believe That anybody ever really Starts to fall in love me”

“One last time,” Tyler said as he took the seat next to me on the couch, “are you sure you wanna make this whole thing public?”

I had spent the last hour working on this cover. I had been practicing this song for months, and now felt like the perfect time to post it. It was a sad song, “Sorry” by Halsey, and it resonated with me deeply when I first heard it. It was my breakup song for a breakup that I wasn’t even sure existed yet.

Let me just say that I had no intentions to end things with Ethan. I only had this song just in case. It was like a doomsday kit. I had a breakup playlist deep in my Spotify account, I saved many ice cream coupons, and I had friends I could rant to should doomsday actually hit.

But no one had to know that. I just wanted my cover out there without having to explain the details of my personal life.

Tyler had sat on the other side of the camera as I sang and played piano in the living room. My little performance almost reduced him to tears, which meant that this song’s intensity wasn't all in my head. Now that I had the whole thing recorded, I was in my laptop, getting ready to post it to my channel immediately.

“Oh, I'm more than sure,” I told him. “I've been wanting to do a cover of this song for months.”

“Someone will love you But someone isn't me”

Speaking of my unknown lover, I had been getting drunk texts from the birthday boy since I got home. He turns into quite the fuckboy after a few drinks. I wasn't really in the mood for whatever he wanted, so I just played dumb.

“Send nudes”

“lol you're so cute”

“Send me nudes!!”

“ur drunk bubby it's not right”

“If u don't send me nudes I'll die right now”

“well we can't have that now can we”

I had no other choice. I sent Ethan individual pictures of nude colored lipsticks. I would have sent my entire collection had I not been busy with my video, so i just screenshotted various products from the Sephora website and sent them over. Thankfully, Ethan took the joke.

“Shit I'm half mast… send more bby”

It took all my will not to laugh out loud right there. His exaggerated responses were cheering me up. The look on my face was easy to read though, according to my house guest.

“I take it Ethan's having fun?” Tyler asked.

“Oh yeah,” I said. “Kinda wish I was there with him, but I'm triggered enough as it is.”

“You feel weird when he gets drunk?”

“Yeah, but it's something I gotta get used to, I guess. I mean, I didn't mind looking after him when he got really tipsy after tour. But it did leave me feeling like… crappy because I want to drink but I can't.”

Tyler nodded, listening intently.

There was more I wanted to say, but I hesitated. “Ahh, I don't wanna be a whiny girlfriend.”

“Hey, it means you care,” he reassured.

Then it suddenly came out like word vomit. “He said he's in love with me…”

For a moment, Tyler didn't say anything. “That's good, isn't it?”

I shrugged and shifted in my seat. My phone buzzed again, but I didn't pay any attention to it. “The first time he said it, we were fighting, so I didn't think he meant it. Then, he said it again before he left for his birthday. And, well…” I sighed and spilled it all out, speaking quickly. “What if, while he's away from me, he realizes he's better off? What if he feels more like himself and more liberated because I'm not there to bring him down and hold him back? What if I'm here missing him, and he's over there, literally not even thinking about me? What if this is it for us?” I caught my breath after and nearly burst into tears.

Tyler placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “If he says he's in love with you… and he's texting you right now… I think it's a good sign. You know he never replies to anybody’s texts, and you’re his first serious relationship.”

“People say things they don’t mean all the time,” I retorted. “People always say things and then realize they don't actually mean it. Mark said it, and look what happened!”

“Oh, I get it now. I understand that that stuff stays with you, but you can't let your past affect your present. Things are different now. And you definitely don't hold Ethan back. If anything, you've made him better.”

Hard to believe. I'm a toxic person. It's only a matter of time before he and everyone else realizes. That impending doom made me want to cry more, so I changed the subject.

“I have something for you.”

“What? Me?”

Silently, I took the black case off my phone, taking out the two coins I kept inside, one red and the other gold. I took the gold one and held it up.

“Four months,” I began. “I've been giving my chips to people who have helped me stay clean. I have my first one, Ethan has the second one, Mark has the third. I was debating between you and Kathryn for this one, but Kathryn’s outta town so…”

“So I win by default?” Tyler said with a chuckle.

My phone buzzed several times in a row. Ethan was probably off his rocker. I ignored it for now.

“Well, you were there for me to lean on,” I said. “You helped me keep my sanity during tour, and even now.”

Tyler was all too humble. “You need to give yourself some credit too, Bells. You made all the choices necessary to stay sober.”

“Yeah, but I couldn't do it alone.”

That's what made him accept the coin. “Thank you. I'm honored.”

Ethan was back in LA only two days after his birthday. He took an Uber home. It made me anxious. Maybe he didn't want to see me. Maybe there was nothing left to say, and it was over now.

I wanted to avoid my phone and stay attached to it at the same time. If he texted me, I wanted to know, but if he was going to ignore me then I didn't want to know. Instead, I tried to focus on the feedback from my “Sorry” cover. As expected, people were wondering who hurt me so bad that I had to sing a sad song. So I went to Twitter.

@bellasanti: I know it sounds strange but sad songs are my favorite ones to sing. I've been singing emotional songs on my channel for years. It doesn't necessarily have to reflect what's going on in my personal life lmao

@bellasanti: those of y'all making assumptions and trying to figure out why I posted such an intense song, here's why: I felt like it. ty ily 😙

Ethan silently liked those tweets. Usually, he would respond with kind words of support. Or maybe I was just overthinking. Surely he was mad at me, right?

A few minutes after those tweets were posted, he texted me. My heart pounded and my mind started racing.

“Come over D:”

Is this where it ends? Could I prolong this ending?

I managed to get ready without having a nervous breakdown. By that, I mean I put on pants, grabbed my keys, and left the apartment. The drive to Ethan's place was short, which didn't give me enough time to panic. I tried to soothe myself as I walked up the steps to his front door, but it only made me want to cry.

It was stupid to knock because I had a key to his apartment. I realized that after I knocked, so I started to fumble with my keys to unlock the door, but Ethan beat me to it. Somehow, the door swinging open still made me jump.

He smiled brightly and opened his arms, wanting me to hug him. It was almost natural for me to accept the gesture. I couldn't help it. He hugged me tight and held me for a little bit, which was a little surprising. Then he kissed me, which was even more surprising. Was he not going to dump me?

“I missed you,” he said as he pulled me into his apartment.

I chuckled nervously, not knowing how to respond to that. “I'm sure you were too busy having fun to miss me.”

“No, I'm serious,” he told me. “Everyone asked for you. I didn't tell them about your sobriety, so I said you were sick. I did have fun, but I still missed you a lot.”

My heart jumped a little bit. I was starting to think that maybe I read too far into the situation.

“I missed you too,” I said softly. Tears welled up in my eyes before I could stop them.

“Aww, don't cry!” Ethan said quickly. He placed his hands on my upper arms. “Uh, here! Let's dance!” He awkwardly rocked us from side to side and hummed a random tune.

It helped a little bit. I sniffed and wiped away my mascara. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…” And I spilled out the thought vomit I told Tyler the other night, except with more tears and less eye contact.

Ethan hugged me again once I really broke down. “You don't hold me back,” he mumbled. Then he leaned back and made me look at him. “Hey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. And I wouldn’t be better off without you, I need you. I feel… more like myself when I'm with you. You're the only girl I've dated that really understands what I do. And you understand me as a person. I can't put it into words the way I want to…” He paused for a moment. “And I’m sorry for how hard things have been with us lately… But I think spending time apart helped because I really did miss you and I really am in love with you…”

That was the third time he said it. The nerves and fear showed on my face.

“I'm in love with you.” Four times. “Brutal honesty.” Oh my god.

And suddenly a goofy grin was growing on my face. He wasn't lying, after all.

“I love you,” I said. I would need time to say the advanced version.

______

the end??? i think???? im still writing a fuck ton of one shots????? thanks for reading??????? holy fuck?????

#crankgameplays x oc #ethan nestor x reader #teamiplier x oc #sweetheart writes #odlt fic #song: sorry by halsey #AAAHHHH WHAT THE FUCK????#another fic done??????#up next!!!!! a SHIT TON of bonus content #i have a big list #theres gonna be an xmas special #and then some stuff from the ylh period #and ofc that angsty belliplier i keep forgetting to post #AND the drunk stream one shot as well #someone gotta remind me to post these things #anyway yeah thanks to yall thanks to the music i listened to thanks to ethan #just yh thanks :')

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