#so i wont play with him anymore...ykwim?

[skunkes]

General oc talkkkk

I feel like i have to Do something with al once i take him off the shelf again (when my brain lets go of talon for another few months), ive been motivated to draw talon because he sits in my brain and i imagine interactions but it's much harder with al since al has been around for 10 years or more...and Al has like. Less conflict? In the sense of him just being a nice kind guy with regular human issues in a normal human world (or cow with regular individual issues in a normal furry world lol) ykwim?

Like. Talon is exaggerated he's a caricature of feelings to play with he's got lots of internal contradictions... and outside of that the whole Setting is easy to play with too, like, he's a vampire and those elements are more fun to think about and incorporate and build up in a way that requires a bit more brainpower of the fun variety (can make shit up) than Just a Regular Guy (has to be nore realistic, less fun to research), but less brainpower than, say, my abandoned Space Ocs where it was way harder for me to just make shit up, and way more to make shit up about (not as fun for me)

Idk! Its easy to imagine Talon in interactions, including ones with Al, or just self exploring dialogue....

Other than cute interactions between al and smunker its a lot harder to find stuff with him...he's a guy living in our regular world... his life has been fairly normal and he's good and nice. And i wouldnt change any of those things just to change em but there's less conflict other than the usual internal stuff all humans experience. I think if he wasnt my imaginary bf I would have shelved him more permanently like the oc group he came with...

There's something about how i very rarely make ocs, he's technically my oldest oc and talon is my newest oc, talon is what i Feel making ocs should feel like. And he's only over a year old. And he's still not even what I would call a well written character in any capacity. And yet i dont think i could very easily replicate this again ykwim. Im so bad at writing, and ..... creating....! Idk how people do any of it....i just wanna extend my ocs lives and my interest in them forever...

#talkys #long post #thinking also about how my friend said maybe id fare better if i didnt wait for my ocs to sort of fester in my brain to write them #bc thats how i do it...ive only been getting talon ideas because i talk to him all day in different scenarios i havent been able to exhaust #bc he's brand new #al's like. set in stone theres not much to draw because i just replay scenarios now. stagnated #i fear talon will get to a point like that too #like my brain will Fix Him and Therapize him and it wont be able to go back to the conflict he had Before that #so i wont play with him anymore...ykwim? #but i dont KNOW how to just make a character without having them show themself around in my brain #i barely even know how to make one in the way i do it now #bc i dont make ocs...bc i dont understand how to do Good Concept‚ Conflict‚ AND flesh em out #cause i got concepts for my space ocs. not complete ones but they have blurbs #ive never been able to get them to interact with me or each other in my brain though so idk anything about them #nor have i cared enough to draw them more #nor would i be able to think of scenarios #ykwim...? #its weird #ugh. maybe i am meant to just be a commission artist‚ im no good at any other niche #i got the worst Roll.... #wish i had a brain...okay well im going to sleep neow goodnite

[c4t45t70ph3]

so guys. there's this boy and there's this old boy (ex) . listen to me there's nothing between me and the ex boy anymore like i dont like him anymore he was such a bad bf and like he never gave me attention he just. like said that he loves me blah blah blah but like he was always with his games and like okay i was like okay then sashay away. ykwim? be wroke up but i actually wanted him to come back like i wanted him to TRY a little or show me that hes interested in getting back together. but he was never like that he just subtweeted sumtings yk? like. but anyways then sumting hapend in my brain i texted him like "wydddd" lol it was an instinct or reflex or whatever you call it, it was 4 am ig my brain wasnt functioning. like okay he didnt answer then i blocked him then i felt like i cured from the pain??? HOW ? but like . anyway then i almost fully healed and then i met the new guy hes my flirt rn or idk maybe hes my bf we dont know yet we hang out we chill we kiss a lot and likkkkeeeee i like him a lot hes so nice to me and hes 2 years older than me and he plays electric guitar anddd bro hes so cute and affectionate he always shows that he cares ab me like BRO im gonna cry. hes so FINE. GOD. I LIKE HIM. like but. yk. i can not quit the mindset "the ex was the one." I KNOW IM STUPID IM DUMB LIKE I SHOULDKMS LIKE I KNOW I DONT DESERVE THE NEW GUY. but. i want him. and today new guy was playing apex with his friends but he picked up my call and they lost the game cuz i was talking with him and they couldnt communicate like lmaooo but he didnt hang up BRO CAN YOU IMAGINE. but i hung up so he could play with his friends and i coudl do my homework. then while i was doing my homework, i got distracted lol haha lol lmao lmfao lol i stalked my ex and lolololol i started to think like "how our relationship would be like if i didnt block him that day" cuz like. i saw he tweeted ab me. but then i saw now he has a new crush lol then i almost cried (WHAT A LOSER WTFFDD OBSESSIVE CRINGE ASS MF YOU SHOULD KEY WHY ASS BRO LOL 😆) then like i felt really bad for feeling this way when im with this new guy i felt like. bro i dont deserve him he doesnt know what i feel rn and my body stretched with stress and anxiety i talked to my friends they said its a normal thing like it takes long time to heal from a bad relationship and im not doing a bad thing i just should not stalk my ex anymore cuz he was bad and he is not a good person then i relaxed a bit. then i texted the new guy. i didnt realize my messages were nervous he said what happened i said i just missed you and he said i thought you were gonna leave me like i thought we were gonna break up i scared you scared me like I CRIED WHEN HE SAID THAT CUZ THIS BOY IS SO CUTE AND WHAT I DID TO HIM WAS SO BAD LIKE IM WTF IM SO BAD IM A BAD PERSON IM REALLY BAD I REALLY DONT DESERVE HIM HES SO CUTE AND MENTALLY STABLE AND HE LIKES ME I GUESS LIKE i didnt expect him to react like that and he even used the word BREAK-UP . does that mean that we're bf and gf 🥺 i like him so much and i feel so bad for what i did today. i promise it wont happen again i wont stalk my ex anymore and i will give all my love to the new guy cuz i dont wanna lose him .thank you