it's just like. okay. when i say i like men in a gay way and women in a lesbian way i don't mean that i think straight attraction is icky or my attraction is somehow more enlightened and progressive. i mean that I've spent the formative years of my sexuality in a place with my gender presentation where people are equally as likely to see me as a man or a woman and often seem to think of me as both, and i cannot separate both my attraction to men or to women from that. ive always felt drawn to butchness because its this concept that your love for the same gender shapes your gender presentation and vice versa, but it's specific to womanhood and attraction to women as a woman in a way i can't entirely relate to. like, in many ways i am both a man and a woman, and i am attracted to both men and woman in a way both shaped by and reflected by that fact.
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