#so that’s why he didn’t get thrown halfway off the mountain and instead just engaged in a pokemon battle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

renchinworld · 3 years

Text

THE BLIZZARD IN JILIN

Renjun x fem reader

fluff & angst // word count: 3.2k

This is the story of Renjun’s childhood friend who he left in Jilin when he followed his dreams of becoming an idol.

Now six years have passed, dozens of awards, hundreds of thousands of fans, and a triple million selling album later... he comes back home to see her engaged to another man.

A blizzard is coming to Jilin and it’s the strongest one China has ever seen.

___ ___ ___

“I passed the auditions!” Renjun hugged you tightly, shaking you from side to side in joy. “I’m going to Korea!”

“Congratulations.” You smile, tears forming at the sides of your eyes.

Renjun’s dream has always been to be an idol, but your dream was always him. To be with him.

For him to spill out the words that his eyes never fail to say everytime you catch him staring at you.

For him to realize that maybe he didn’t give you his coat on cold winter mornings when yours did not make you feel warm enough just because he thought of you as a friend.

For him to tell you that what he truly wants is to just be an ordinary man in Jilin, grow old with you, chill with each other in the warm fireplace as you look back on your lives in old age.

To leave it all behind and choose you.

But that would be selfish. That would leave Renjun always wondering with what ifs. He would be with you but his heart would be stuck with a dream he never got to achieve. Like an empty vessel of a person you once loved. You can’t bring yourself to do that to him just to make him stay.

You love him so much to cut off his wings when he wants so badly to fly.

“Shouldn’t you go home and pack?” You ask with a forced smile. You’re on the verge of crying in front of him. He needs to go before he sees your tears.

“Right!” He jumps. “By the way, you’re the first one I told. I’m gonna prank my family and tell them I didn’t get accepted first hehe. Serves them right for trying to stop me from going.”

“You meanie.” You chuckled and he smiled.

“Come on. You know I love them and it’s just for light fun,” Renjun ruffles your hair and you almost tell him not to leave you then. You bite your lower lip to stop yourself and his eyes land on your lips before he clears his throat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You’re always the first one he told everything to. That was your place in his life. But now, seeing him walking away from you, you realize he no longer belongs only to you and you to him.

He will be loved by a thousand screaming fans and he will perform for them in return. He will end your calls at night earlier than usual because he has to meet other girls and boys in the morning for a fansign event. He will eventually stop messaging you as he becomes busy and you’ll wonder if he forgot about you completely.

Renjun will get his wish while you can only dream of yours.

He will be shining as always. Under the bright, blinding spotlights and the glowing eyes of his many supporters. While you will be at your hometown, staring out at the snowy mountains, reminiscing the days when he looked at you the same way his fans look at him now.

Then you will wake up one day and realize that maybe this is bearable enough.

Maybe it’s okay to continue on, knowing that in this short life you met the one you’d choose in a hundred lifetimes, but he couldn’t choose you in this one.

Maybe you’ll finally agree to that arranged marriage your parents have been trying to set you up to.

And maybe you will change your dream to an actual goal instead of a person who will end up leaving you. Maybe, just maybe… you will forget about Renjun too.

And that’s exactly what you did. Or so you thought.

___

5 YEARS LATER

“Honey, remind your fiancé that we’re having his family over for dinner,” your mom says, poking her head out of the kitchen. “Call him, okay?”

You nodded and proceeded to just text Hendery. This arranged marriage isn’t out of love and you both know it. He’s in love with someone else and you’re not willing to give your heart to him. There’s no reason to call each other over things you can just text.

“He says they’re coming.” You said, walking towards the kitchen and making yourself green tea by settling it over ice and waiting for it to melt. Someone you once loved told you this is the best way to make them.

“You didn’t call him?” Your mother asks, concerned. You shrugged. “He’s a nice boy, sweetheart. You’ve been engaged for years and yet you still--”

“Mom, please,” your smile never reached your eyes. “We’ll be fine.”

“Is it because of Renjun?”

You gulped. The mention of his name felt like the cold air that hits you when you step out of the house. It felt like beautiful smiles fading into the background. Like a thousand dreams that were thrown into the fire but the ashes keep on coming back, smothering you and making it difficult to breathe.

“No.” You said almost immediately.

“I heard he’s back home, taking a short vacation.” She presses on, concern plastered on her face as she studies your expression. “Have you talked to him yet?”

“He’s probably forgotten about me.” Your heart was clawing at you from the inside. “Let’s stop talking about him, mom. Do you need help?”

“No, honey. I’m almost finished. You should just get ready.” She pats your back and goes back to cooking dinner.

___

Finished with making yourself look presentable, you went down stairs.

You stopped halfway when the doorbell rang.

No one rings your house doorbell. Hendery texts you whenever he’s in front of your house. Your father just goes in when he comes home from work every month.

Only delivery men use that contraption. But it’s night time right now. What delivery company would be on duty at 8 in the evening?

“Sweetheart, open the door for me, okay? I’m setting up the table.” Your mom called out from the dining area.

Something feels off. What if it’s a murderer? Nah, you’ve been watching too many true crime documentaries.

You looked at the peephole just to be sure.

You wished it was a murderer instead.

That would’ve been better for your health than Huang Renjun carrying a bouquet of flowers in front of your doorstep.

“What happened?” Your mom walks towards you. You look back at her, the color in your face gone. “Why aren’t you opening the door?”

She grabs the doorknob but you stop her, shaking your head. You hissed. “Don’t!”

Your mother’s eyebrows furrowed. She peeks in the peephole and sighs before she uses her strength on you and forces the door open despite your struggling.

“Oh look, it’s Jilin’s superstar! Welcome back!” She smiles, genuinely happy to see the boy who made your entire province proud. Asian parents amirite. “Come in, come in. Just in time for dinner.”

“Thank you for your hospitality.” Renjun says as he steps in and pays his respects. His voice was deeper than you last remembered. He was taller, more regal looking and even more handsome. How is that even possible?

Your eyes meet and a million memories flood through your mind. Him hugging you, telling you that he’ll be back soon. Not soon enough. You crying every night until one day you just stopped because you became numb. Not numb enough. Him saying goodbye on the phone one last time before he ghosts you. You cursing him on the top of your lungs and crying in the middle of a storm, wanting to just sink into the snow and freeze outside for years to come.

“Hi,” he says and hands you the flowers. Your eyes flutter, your hands are shaking as you receive it. You don’t know if you should be angry or what. “How are you?”

How are you? You chuckled bitterly. “Great, thanks for asking.”

“Hang his coat, honey. I’ll be in the dining area if you need me.” Your mom says quickly to mask the contempt in your voice and leaves the both of you. If your mother noticed anything, she pretended not to notice. The tension was so thick, it probably suffocated her.

“Won’t you ask me how I’ve been?” He smiles and your throat constricts. You don’t say anything so he sucks a deep breath, continuing. “We’re triple million seller idols now.”

“C-congrats.” You say, forcing yourself to not say more because if you do, you might say things you'll regret. You place the flowers down and he hands you his coat for you to hang. A whiff of his perfume passes. He smells like how a cozy and warm morning would be if it was a scent.

“I’ve missed you. I’m sorry for not reaching out--” You didn’t have enough time to process what he said because your phone suddenly rang in your pocket. He nods, eyes never leaving yours. “Go ahead. Must be an emergency.”

It was Hendery. You picked up. He only calls when it’s really important.

“Yes, Hendery?” Renjun's expression darkens at the mention of Hendery’s name. “A blizzard? Okay, I understand.”

You walk past Renjun and went to the dining area where your mother is. “They can’t come, mom. Can’t drive because the blizzard suddenly worsened.”

“Oh no,” she pouts, then her expression changes when he sees the man standing behind you. “No worries, we have a guest to help us finish the meal. Don’t we, Renjun?”

“Of course, it’s an honor.” His honey voice from behind surprised you. You didn’t know he followed you. “Careful.”

He caught you in his arms when you almost tripped. You were quick to stand up and remove his hold on you. Your mother just stared amused. You were always too composed and collected, but Renjun brings out a clumsy side to you she’s never seen before.

“It’s a shame her fiancé couldn’t meet her childhood friend.” Your mother sighed when all three of you were seated. You and Renjun sat across from each other while your mom was beside you. “The blizzard really did it this time.”

“Fiancé?” His brows knitted, mouth hanging open, waiting for your mom to say he heard it wrong.

“Hendery.” You said, not looking at him while taking a bite of the steak. “We’ve been engaged since 2018.” Since you stopped talking to me.

“Ah, of course,” he takes a bite out of his food but his eyes are still glued on you. “Congratulations.”

“They’re to be married next month. So exciting!” Your mom exclaims beside you and brings more food to your plates. “Eat up, babies. You both grew up so fast. You’ll probably have babies of your own soon!”

You cleared your throat, feeling the heat on your face. You probably looked so red right now.

“But… next month?” He asks again, this time not bothering to cover his distaste of the marriage topic. “Isn’t that too soon?”

You said nothing. Why does he care anyways?

Your mom explains for you that Hendery’s parents have been trying to get you both married since last year but you keep on saying you’re still too young.

“Right!” Renjun extends a hand to prove his point. “What if she changes her mind?”

He looks at you, trying so hard to steal your glance from the food. You give in and look at him. You almost gasp. This is the first time you’ve ever seen Renjun look this desperate. Not when his parents told him not to go to that audition. Not when he talks about becoming an idol. This was much more intense. Like he was about to do unspeakable things to you if you don’t answer him right now.

“I-I don’t think I’ll change my mind.” You finally say, feeling the heaviness in your chest spread through your body, tingling at the end of your fingers.

“Of course you won’t.” Renjun leans, shoulders rolling back as he adjusts his posture. He says nothing to you throughout the whole meal. He smiles and humors your mother when she shares more stories but he has never looked at you again.

___

“It’s dangerous for you to leave now,” your mom says, worried. Renjun insisted on going home because their house was within walking distance, but the air was blowing outside at terrifying speeds. “Just stay the night like you always do when you were kids, hmm?”

But we’re not kids anymore. Now, we’re young adults who are totally frustrated with each other. That’s not a good idea. But going outside is evidently much worse.

“You can use her brother’s room.” Your mom laughs from the living room where they both are. Your brother Lucas has rarely visited since he married. “You’ve always been like a son to us anyways, even her brother gets jealous of you sometimes.”

Renjun laughs with her, remembering the good ol’ days. You roll your eyes.

“Thank you so much. I’ll behave, I promise.”

Your mom turns to look at you. You’re washing the dishes in the kitchen. “She’s always insisting to hand wash instead of using the dishwasher. I taught her well.”

“I’ll help her. Please get some rest.” He smiles warmly at her and walks towards you. You both hear your mother go up the stairs, leaving you and Renjun alone again.

“Next month, really?” He asks, grabbing the plate from your hand.

“We’ve already talked about this over dinner.” You sigh. “Just drop it.”

“Are you even sure you want to marry him? Don’t you like someone else?” His tone carried a meaning behind it. Like he knew.

What does he even know?!

"I'm marrying him and that's final." You say sternly, your patience drying up. “That would make me happy.”

“Since when did you start lying to yourself?”

The ticking bomb within you explodes. Years of sadness turned into rage and it filled your heaving chest. Your eyes started to water. Renjun settled the plate down when he saw your expression and faced you, apologizing immediately.

“Please don’t marry him.” He suddenly pleads as he kneels down, touching your hands and looking up at you. “Come back to me. Please.”

“What? Why are you so--” you stop to breathe out loudly. Tears began spilling and your heart felt like jumping out. You wanted to shout in his face. Why do you care?! Why are you begging?! What are we?!

But only a fountain of tears followed. Years of practicing what you would say if something like this happened just blurred in your mind. No amount of practice will suffice once your first love comes back and tells you something like this. None.

“I’m so sorry,” Renjun stood up and wiped your tears away. His eyes also started to become teary. “I know I’m not in the position to tell you that but I still did. I also know I’m way too late, but I just want to tell you that I love you. I really, really love you. I tried to forget my feelings because I know it would be difficult for you to end up with someone like me, but I just can’t get you out of my head.

“Every time my group members asked me if I liked someone, I would say no but in the back of my mind all I see is you. Whenever someone sings your favorite song, I would remember how beautiful you looked when we sang it together. Every moment I go up on stage, I always wondered if you’re watching me from somewhere in the crowd. Every winter when it snowed in Seoul, I would think of how the snowflakes fell softly on your hair here in Jilin. I may have left, but my heart stayed with you.

“I’m sorry I stopped talking to you. I knew you liked me back so I thought it would be selfish of me to let you wait for so long because of the path I chose. You didn’t stop me from following my dreams back then despite that. So I thought to myself, ‘she sacrificed for me, but I can’t do the same for her?’ and I decided that I needed to let you go. You deserved to be happy, too.

"I stopped reaching out so you could forget me and finally be happy in someone else’s arms. I was ready to let you go. But when I heard you were getting married next month, I couldn’t bear it. I can’t imagine it. I’d rather die. I’d rather give up on everything than see you walk down the aisle for another man--”

His voice cracks. Head drooping down into yours as he hugs you tightly. As if he let you go now, he would lose you completely. As if he doesn’t squeeze you like this, you will end up continuing with the marriage.

You looked up at the ceiling, tears flowing and mouth hanging open from his words. Isn’t life funny? For years you were scrambling for answers and in just a mere minute, everything has started coming together.

“Renjun...” You say, your voice low and shaky. “I can’t breathe.”

He loosens his hold on you and looks you in the eyes. His hands cupped your face. “Did you hear me? I said I love you. I said I really, really, really love you.”

“I heard, dumbass.” You cough up a small laugh, the tears won’t stop falling. “I love you too.”

He sighs, relief washing over his face. “Marry me instead?”

“Dude, don’t you think you’re going too fast?” You say, your hands planted on his chest. Eyes puffy. Renjun only found it cute.

“The last time I stalled, I almost lost you. So I’m going all-in now.”

“You’re a kpop idol. What am I supposed to do if you're on tour and I need to give birth, hmm?”

"Don't you think you're moving faster than me? I'm just at the marriage part and you're already at pregnancy." He chuckles. "Then again, maybe we can rearrange the order of things…"

You smacked him on the chest lightly. Who knew he could make dirty jokes like this now?

"You told my mom you would behave."

"Your mom likes me and wants grandchildren. I don't think she'd mind."

"Shut up." You say with a smile and he kisses you. You didn’t expect him to come in stronger than a blizzard and break down all your defenses. His kiss. His truth. His love for you. Him.

There’s still a lot to be done before you two can be free to love each other without worries. But it doesn’t matter. No matter how challenging it is from here on out, you two will have each other and that's all you need. It would be like this. Always.

Renjun's kiss deepens and he smiles victoriously as you melt into his arms. A dozen awards and a ton of trophies he received, but none of those comes close to winning your heart.

___

From upstairs, your mom smiles to herself. She heard everything when she went to ask what's taking so long but backed away quietly when she heard you both crying.

"I knew these kids just needed a little push. Oh, oof. We have to cancel that engagement…."

___ ___ ___

a/n: Dude I loved writing this so much I actually didn’t want it to end lmao

#nct renjun fanfic #nct fanfic #renjun fluff #renjun angst #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream fanfic #renjun imagines #this is my first fic hehe pls be nice

56 notes · View notes

prinzcake · 7 years

Photo

Lance’s Blues

Short fic under the cut.

The command room was empty. The team had just finished discussing the battle they had just finished over Kkotaka, a planet home to a 4-armed alien race. Everyone had either gone to have refreshments (Hunk) or rest in their room individually.

“..nce.”

He stared at the helmet in his hand. The faint scuff marks beneath his fingers had become more familiar to him recently then some things he had known all this life.

“Lance!”

Lance blinked and looked up. Keith stood in front of him, already cleaned up from the recent battle. Of course, Keith was always fast and efficient.

“What, Keith.” Lance knew he sounded irritable, but he didn’t really feel up to talking at the moment. Keith didn’t get annoyed like he expected, but looked at Lance closely.

“Aren’t you going to shower yet? It’s going to stink the longer you stay in it.”

Somehow, his tone sounded more concerned then antagonizing. Was Keith actually worried? Lance had to struggle a little not to let his face crumple.

“Yea, I’ll go soon.” Lance said as casually as he could, but he must have done it wrong, because Keith’s eyebrows shifted together slightly. The red pilot didn’t prod him any further, however; just nodded and left. Lance missed the backward glance that was thrown his way just before the doors closed.

He sighed. He didn’t know why he felt so down. Everything was going fine, the team was great, Shiro was still around, they had news of Matt being freed, they had a brand new pet cow, even Keith was less insufferable then usual.

He shook his head. He must be tired from the battle. That was it. He pushed all thoughts out of his head and headed to the shower.

-----------

The water was cool, soothing. This was his favorite part of the ship, aside from his bed. He would nominate the pool to a higher position, if he could actually get into it. He should really ask Coran about it one day.

Lance spent a longer time then usual under the spray. He was reluctant to get out, but he eventually turned off the shower and dried off.

Lance frowned as he pulled on his clothes. His thoughts had been muted while he was in the shower, but now he could feel a slight storm of grey clouds gathering back in his head. On the way to the armory, he continued to mull over why he was feeling so blue.

Well, I am the blue paladin, he joked to himself internally. He returned the suit to the pod and left the room.

A voice called to him as he walked out. “Lance!”

Lance turned around, brightening. Was it -

“Oh, hey, Hunk!” Lance wasn’t sure who he had been hoping for but he was sure he should be pretty happy seeing his best friend, so he put on bright smile. “Finished cooking up new foods?” Hunk had probably made up 101 new recipes since coming to space.

The yellow paladin grinned at him.

“Yes, actually! I just made some new cookies! Want to come and try it?”

Lance smiled. Hunk was awesome. He was hungry. He’d feel better once he ate. Following his friend to the kitchen, he found a literal mountain of honey colored biscuits with green bits.

The cookie was delicious, and he told Hunk so.

“Seriously, this is great!” Lance exclaimed. It was crispy but the little bits of sweet candy melted in his mouth and reminded him of the cookies his mother baked. He would engage with his sisters in what they called the Food Wars - no snack was safe under any jurisdiction until it had already entered the person’s stomach. Lance learned that the hard way after he lost custody of a bacon roll halfway to his mouth.

He continued to nibble on his biscuit, thinking about how his little brother would make puppy eyes at him until he handed over the best parts of cakes.

“...Kkotakan plants maybe. What do you think?” Hunk said.

“What?” Lance jerked back to reality. “Cookie plants?”

His friend paused. “No, I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as cookie plants. Or maybe there is. Boy, I’d love to have some around.”

Silence.

“Lance? Are you okay?”

Lance looked at Hunk in surprise. He wasn’t acting any different, he would know - so why was his friend making a worried face at him?

“I’m good, buddy!” Lance laughed. “I’m just sleepy, are you sure your cookies don’t have any sleeping plants in there?”

Hunk pulled a face of horror. “Seriously?! I don’t think so, but it could be...maybe there are some side effects that we don’t know of -”

“Hunk, I’m joking.”

“Ohh. Hah. Good one.”

After chatting awhile more, Lance helped Hunk bag up the rest of the cookies. He waved good night to Hunk and entered his room, the door sliding close with a soft hiss behind him.

It was suddenly too quiet.

The light had automatically flickered on the moment he came in, but somehow it just made the room look more colorless. Lance didn’t understand why he was seeing it so differently. The room looked exactly the same as it always had, and he always went inside looking forward to a nice nap.

Now it just looked alien. Different from his Earth home, messy and chaotic. He thought about his house. Nothing that was not permanently stuck to the floor would ever be in the same spot as the day before. New things ended up in his room all the time and he would have a panic attack if he needed to find something because it was likely there was a minimum 1 year searching date.

And whenever he turned around, there was always someone there.

Lance felt a bout of restlessness overtake him. He blamed it on the cookies. He paced around the room once and sat on the bed, trying to feel sleepy. The silence seemed to be getting louder and his foot tapped impatiently, but where was there to go? The ship was way too haunted (he hadn’t forgotten) for a solo exploration and he didn’t want to disturb Hunk or Pidge; Hunk would be snoring by now and Pidge would probably be annoyed. He couldn’t possibly go to Shiro and what on earth would he say to Keith?

He imagined any one of his team members walking in to talk to him right then and the thought of it made him feel so hopeful that when he flicked his eyes towards the door and it stayed shut he felt like yelling.

Lance leapt up. He had to get out of here, anywhere but this damn room.

-----------

Lance blindly headed down the dark corridor, unconsciously taking longer and faster strides. He slowed down when he saw a faint light around the corner.

He had ended up at the shower, where the light was always on even when it was the designated “night-time”. A bout of near-hysteric laughter bubbled up in his throat when he thought of the fact they had to have a scheduled day-night sequence because there was no such thing as waking up to a bright sunny day or falling asleep to a fading sunset. No such thing as waking up and feeling lazy to a rainy morning and hearing it tap merrily against the window. There wasn’t even windows.

Lance was going crazy thinking about it.

He entered the cubicle before he was even aware of moving.

His hand darted to the switch and put the shower on full blast. He was still fully dressed and he could feel the water drenching his clothes and sticking to his skin, but he didn’t care. He sat down with his head on his knees, arms encircling so he could block out as much light as possible, and closed his eyes.

The steady stream of water drumming against his hair and clothes took over his senses and he paused his breathing to hear it unbroken as long as he could. He let out a long sigh, tension draining out of his body.

It felt so good.

If he concentrated, or lost focus hard enough, he could just imagine he was back at home, taking a shower with a babble of voices just behind the door. His brother would be pestering him to hurry up so he could go number two, and his mother would be loudly declaring to his sister that her cooking was just not en el punto.

Lance felt his mouth twist into a small smile.

-----------

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in that position, but he was just starting to feel blissfully peaceful when he felt the shower turn off and heard an indignant voice behind him. Oh, come on, he thought, just a few minutes more, couldn’t -

Wait.

That didn’t sound like his brother.

“What are you doing? Get up!”

It all came back to him.

Lance felt his heart drop. He’d just gone and done something stupid. A hand shook his shoulder impatiently. Lance shifted and winced as his limbs creaked. He got up stiffly, squinting as he tried to adjust to the bright light. He wobbled as he stood on the slippery floor, feeling light-headed. His arm reached out to the wall for support, but instead a pair of hands grabbed his shoulder and guided him around to face its owner.

“Lance?” A pale face frowned at him quizzically, eyebrows knitted together.

It was Keith. Of all people, it had to be Keith discovering him doing something lame and dumb and weird. His head felt heavy and he couldn’t seem to talk, so he just stood there in a daze with his eyes cast down. Keith said something and put his palm on Lance’s face. It felt cooling in a good kind of way, so he leaned into it. Keith frowned ever more fiercely and said something, but he couldn’t really hear it. He just wanted to lie down.

Come to think of it, the shower must have helped, because he felt so sleepy. He could definitely go to bed right now.

Keith seemed to be talking more intently to him now, but all he could think about was how nice the coolness on his cheek felt. Lance leaned more into Keith’s fingers and felt himself falling all the way into the darkness.

Note: This is actually incomplete, but I wasn’t sure if it was too boring ;;; If you’re interested, send an ask? ahhh....I hope I didn’t mess up the characterization too much

#voltron #klance #lance'sblues

2K notes · View notes