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fire-fira · 5 years

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Aquaman (2018) is a fucking GEM and here’s why

Buckle up, get your popcorn, get a drink, because my squawking about this film--

--is gonna be long!

Okay, so as anyone who knows me reasonably well or has followed me for my DC stuff can tell you I am a MASSIVE nerd about DC’s Atlantis (thanks in large part to my wonderful and adorable fishy son La’gaan).

(Obligatory shot of this kid’s happy smiling face because I love him and he deserves at least a moment of attention.)

SO--

The Big Things

This film freaking delivered with showing us Atlantis in full lit-up glory, not to mention showing a clear delineation between the lower levels and the upper levels. We didn’t get to see much of the lower levels unfortunately, but the fact that what we did see of it was an old shipwreck says some things. (Which I’ll probably extrapolate on under Social Things.)

I was never left in doubt for even a moment that Arthur and Mera were capable of what they were doing. Both of them are badass beyond words, are goddamn tanks who should NOT be trifled with, and have genuine complexity and chemistry that makes me heavily invested in their relationship. I can understand why they would be drawn together and how their dynamic would work out, and even as that’s going on I am never once left in doubt that both of them are a force of nature who are just as capable of flattening their enemies individually as they would be if they joined forces and fought side by side. Get on their goddamn level, because they are a power couple who can and will destroy you (or make you wish they had) if they deem it necessary.

BLACK. FUCKING. MANTA. I was not prepared for the sheer level of genius badassery from this man. It was one thing finding out that he got his tech from atlanteans (fuck you Orm), but it was something else watching him break it down and rework it to suit his needs while making his own helmet for-- oh yes-- the goddamn eye-lasers. We are very clearly shown that with his first attempt if he’d been wearing the helmet he would have died, but this brilliant badass pretty much just, “Guess I need a bigger helmet,” and then just went ahead and made a second one with everything figured out and sorted so it wouldn’t blow his damn head off any time he used his main weapon! Just HOLY SHIT BLACK MANTA! On only the second try?! What the shit dude?! Granted, you started out as a pirate and then stepped it up to being a supervillain, but HOLY SHIT. I’m surprised he stuck with being just a pirate for as long as he did!

Also, Black Manta’s motivation makes perfect sense. It took one of the more dick-ish moves Arthur’s done (which was also in character for him at that point in the movie), but that act of not saving Black Manta’s dad (especially since with their interactions I’d argue it’s fair to assume that his dad was a good dad to him) feels exactly like it was all that was needed for him to decide he wanted Arthur dead.

(And RIP me, when I first saw Black Manta’s dad my first thought was ‘Is that Coffeepot Guy from Young Justice?’)

Orm. Hoooolllllllyyyyyy SHIT Orm. Full props to that actor, because he completely sold Purist McDouche-Face Orm for everything he was worth. Even down to the subtle nuances of how easily he let Atlantean slurs fall, the casual arrogance and unnoticed contempt for anyone who wasn’t ‘pure’ (though that specific word didn’t come up) or who he viewed as ‘traitors’, and the fact that this son of a ba’athu-kest had his brother dragged to him unconscious and in chains in his throne room. There was a fucking COLLAR around Arthur’s neck! And then he has the fucking gall later on to essentially say, ‘If you leave now I’ll let you live and we never have to be at odds again, just ignore the fact that I’m going to be committing genocide that’ll probably include your Dad since he’s close to the shore. No hard feelings. ‘Kay?’ and act like it was an act of goddamn mercy or benevolence. Just... OMG. Seriously, just... fuck you Orm. Fuck you so much for engineering a goddamn war. JFC.

And speaking of Arthur’s Dad-- Arthur’s Mom and Dad are PERFECTION. Yeah, we don’t get to see as much of their relationship development as we do with Arthur and Mera, but Tom Curry and Queen Atlanna are the kind of partners you would expect to see epics written about in the old and ancient days. If we’re talking The Odyssey, then they are Odysseus and Penelope with their roughly 20-year absence from each other-- except Atlanna’s Odysseus and Tom’s Penelope. And when they came back together? I was almost crying in the theater. Holy crap. It was just SO MANY FEELS. Not even a moment of doubt that the two of them loved each other, that they loved each other deeply, that they loved each other intensely, and that they loved each other so much that they were willing to wait until the end of time if that’s what it took for them to be reunited. And if I’m not careful I’m going to get misty-eyed over them again.

And can we just appreciate the fact that Tom and Arthur are indigenous? I mean actually? Because dear gods when Tom greeted Arthur and they pressed their foreheads together and breathed I started fucking crying in the theater. I needed that. I needed to see an indigenous superhero with his culture woven in in subtle ways and for it to play out through affection between him and his dad WHO HE ACTUALLY HAS A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH-- and fuck I’m crying again. (I’m assuming because Jason Momoa is Maori that that means they’re Maori? I’m not sure though. I hope the specific culture gets mentioned on the bluray whenever it gets released, because I’m forever after this film going with indigenous Arthur and I want to know I’m referring to his people correctly. Indigenous Arthur is in, all other versions of Arthur can go home.) Gods I have so many feels. If Atlanna had showed that she’d adopted small parts of Tom’s culture by doing the forehead thing with Arthur that would have ended me. On the spot. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, 404: Fira not found due to breaking down over all the feels.

Shifting a little (because otherwise I’m grinding to a halt and I have SO much more to get into) let’s talk about the kisegra, the Trench, and the various beasties! Of the kisegra we only really get to see two types-- the Fishermen (merpeople essentially) and the Brine (lobster/crab-centaur-ish people). I’m not going to fault the people working on the movie for showing us only those two types because they busted their asses on this movie and it shows-- hell, even among those kisegra there’s a diversity of coloration and body-build!-- but I was a tiny smidge disappointed not to see more diversity. Maybe something for a later movie. And then there’s the Trench. THE GODDAMN TRENCH. THESE NIGHTMARE FUEL BA’ATHU-KEGEST.

The La’gaan muse in my mind may as well have been screaming bloody murder. The scene with them is THAT MUCH NIGHTMARE FUEL. It’d be one thing if only a couple of them had been on the boat and the ones on the boat were all there were.

AHAHAHAHAHA-- NO. I do not have words for the SWARM of them that we end up seeing on screen. JFC. (Though there is the vague indication that the Trench may???? be some type of kisegra???? in this reality??? Don’t like that implication one bit, especially with how it gets tied to bigoted purist comments. Might just be a thing purists were saying because fucking sea-nazi purists though.)

And can I also say that the Karathen is a damned Queen? Yes, Julie Andrews voiced her. Yes, she was voiced by Mary-goddamn-Poppins. Yes, she is “practically perfect in every way” and will flatten (or eat) a bitch as needed. Lava doesn’t affect her, she is fucking impervious. It’s no wonder why King Atlan wanted her to go with him when he fucked off into permanent self-imposed exile for his GIANT ASS mistake-- because who wouldn’t want to have their bestie to spend the rest of their life hanging out with when said bestie is the ORIGINAL ‘Deep Beast’ and will cheerfully destroy any of your upstart descendants if they try to be as stupid as you were by attempting to repeat your mistakes? (Real talk though, the fact that King Atlan made friends with her in the first place implies that he learned how to let go of almost all the excess pride that got him in trouble in the first place. Congrats for having some character growth and having stuck with what you felt was right my dude.)

SEA. HORSES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA They were SO DAMN COOL.

And armored sharks. Fucking armored great whites. For when you absolutely, positively, have to kill every mother-fucking thing in the ocean around you.

The Differences From Other Realities

So one of the big things that stuck out to me was the “only the high-born can breathe air” thing. While I do agree that the ability to breathe air, or water, or both probably varies due to genetics and whatnot, in most realities and interpretations I’ve seen the ability to breathe air isn’t something only found in ‘high-born’ individuals. (Case in point, La’gaan. I love him to pieces, but as someone from the Outer Provinces there ain’t no way that boy is ‘high-born’, and yet he can breathe air.) I’m not pointing this out as a “screw up” of any sort on the part of the writers, but more to point out that this is a detail that makes the DCCU unique from other DC universes.

Atlantis-- Something that caught my attention was how Atlantis was spoken to in relation to other kingdoms. We have several kingdoms mentioned in the movie-- the Kingdom of the Fishermen, the Kingdom of the Brine, the Kingdom of the Trench (who tf decided they had a kingdom???), the Kingdom of Xebel-- but the way they’re each spoken about implies that they’re not seen as being part of Atlantis. Whiiiiiich is kind of weird, because Atlantis (in most iterations) is implied to have been a small continent/large island and not just a single city-state. On the other hand there have been (mostly older) renditions where it was a single city-state. Going off of what we see though, I’m inclined to think that what may have happened is that what was that world’s Poseidonis at some point during their history got renamed Atlantis (so kind of like a New York, New York situation; New York City in New York State, Atlantis City in Atlantis).

The number of kingdoms-- This is something I’ve seen vary SO DAMN MUCH. Some realities it’s only one, others have implied as many as 12 (before several were lost), and this reality says that there were 7 and that 3 have been lost. Fun details.

And Xebel being one of the kingdoms? Most renditions I’ve seen have it as a place for criminals or sealed off in its own pocket-dimension. So it being one of the kingdoms is pretty unique.

ARTHUR’S. PARENTS. ARE. ALIVE. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

AND NEITHER OF THEM DIE!!!

And thank you SO MUCH to the writers for completely erasing some of the more questionable things that have been done with Mera and Xebel, and with Black Manta. As far as I know none of the recent comics dip into that uncomfortable written history, but I still couldn’t help but be thankful that none of that awful crap got used.

No use of the word ‘pure’ in regards to the purist rhetoric of some of the characters, but it was so heavily implied that I think it’s safe to assume. Still mentioning it because with everything else going on it was almost weird that it wasn’t mentioned even once.

BORDER PATROL AND WALLS AROUND ATLANTIS. What the actual fuck?! What the fucking fuck?! Who the hell in Arthur’s family thought that was a good idea?! ‘Oh, you’re trying to go up and over the wall and not through the only gate into or out of Atlantis-- ‘cause that’s not asking for trouble AT ALL-- how about... No. Instead we’ll just FUCKING ANNIHILATE YOU WITH GIANT ASS LASERS BECAUSE THAT’S REAL PROPORTIONATE TO THE SITUATION.̓ (Seriously. What the fuck.)

The split between upper and lower levels. I’ve seen splits between inner and outer provinces before with various iterations, but this reality is the first one where I’ve seen an upper-versus-lower-level split in Atlantis.

Arthur being the eldest. Some realities he’s older than Orm, and in other realities Orm is older than him. It’s kind of a toss-up.

Atlanna being ‘sacrificed’ to the Trench. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ATLANTIS?! Granted, the Trench are a recent addition to the Aquaman mythos (a la New52), and it could be argued that for other realities they’re almost a myth, a legend of nightmare stories to warn reckless guppies away from going into open and empty areas away from others where it’d be easier for predators to snap them up and swim away; but for a reality where they’re known to factually exist and for people to be completely okay with SACRIFICING THEIR QUEEN TO THEM... What. THE. FUCK.

The Social Things

Technically I could put this point under Differences From Other Realities, but it has to do with a huge social detail for this movie, so it’s going here. ARRANGED MARRIAGE. I think it’s fair to assume that it may have been a thing in the past in most DC realities, but this reality is the first one I know of where it’s a current thing. Obviously this has HUGE repercussions for how things play out (like Queen Atlanna getting ‘sacrificed’ to the Trench for ‘committing treason’ thanks to having fallen in love with Tom and having Arthur-- WTAF Atlantis?), and it implies a lot more heavy restrictions in Atlantis than even I headcanon-- and I’ve headcanoned some really dark shit based on the crumbs and hints DC has given us over various renditions.

This movie did not sugarcoat or simplify the bigotry in Atlantis. They very clearly conveyed that being bigoted isn’t just “deliberately being mean to someone” and that bigotry is pervasive and can affect damn near everything. In fact they did an artful job at subtly and carefully weaving it into interactions that you might not even notice unless you know what to look for. This includes such “tasteful” (NOT) Atlantean slurs and comments rendered in English as:

- Half-breed (canonically an in-world slur)

- Mongrel (implications similar to ‘half-breed’)

- Savage (I hate this word so GODDAMN MUCH, you have NO fucking idea, my kneejerk reaction to hearing this word is the urge to either deck someone or set something on fire)

- “If that half-breed mongrel wields the trident, then that half-breed mongrel is your king.” (May not be word-for-word exact, but it was said by Mera’s father-- which fuck you Nereus, you purist piece of shit, and fuck you for daring to refer to the man you just told your people to follow by using a goddamn slur.)

- There’s more, but goddamn if I went through it all this thing would get even longer and I’d be screaming even more about Orm and Nereus.

- Though I will say with Arthur being indigenous, that insult of ‘half-breed’ carries WAY more weight than it might otherwise. Like WAY MORE.

Oh yeah! And before I forget! Because fuck that hagfish-sucking purist piece of ba’athu-kest shit ORM! THE ASSHOLE KILLS KING RICOU, KING OF THE FISHERMEN, IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE WAS CALLING ORM ON HIS SHIT AND REFUSING TO GO ALONG WITH HIS WAR.

And then he fucking threatened to kill King Ricou’s partner and daughter if they don’t do what he wants!

Just... FUCK ORM. Fuck his purist bullshit, and fuck his purist bullshit that obviously made him think nothing of killing a kisegra where he actually hesitated over the idea of killing someone ‘pure’. (Think Vulco, to a certain extent, and Nereus when Nereus told him to back down over killing Mera.)

Mera says that people try to get into Atlantis over the wall “all the time.” Um, hi, because that’s not saying anything intense. At all. What it immediately calls to my mind is that it may be a direct hint of kisegra not being seen as citizens in Atlantis and (generally) not allowed in. In fact, in the main crowd scenes during the first fight between Arthur and Orm I only noticed ONE kisegra, and then only because of their tail. I may be wrong, there may have been more that I didn’t notice, but in the brief amount of time there was I tried to scour the shots of the crowd for kisegra and came up empty aside from the one. (Can we say ‘possible hints of that arc in the pre-boot comics where kisegra weren’t citizens until Arthur took the throne’?) It also implies-- if they’re willing to risk getting FUCKING ANNIHILATED BY GIANT ASS LASER-CANNONS to get in-- that things are B A D outside Atlantis.

(Arthur, you poor bastard, you’re walking/swimming into a shit-storm.)

And ‘battles to the death for the throne’???? In a goddamn ARENA?! What kind of fucking hellscape is Atlantis that they’ve had such advanced tech at their disposal for centuries and they’re doing that shit?! (Again, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ATLANTIS?!)

The division between the upper and lower levels. Um... What... the fuck??? Apparently the “low-born” aren’t able to breathe air-- which okay, whatever-- but they apparently have to live with/in wreckage???? Without electricity??? (Obviously the Atlanteans have some form of energy production going. Magic or electricity or both, idek, but that shattered wreck of a ship looked like there wasn’t anything on it or in the area around it that might have cast some light that wasn’t whatever happened to be shining through from higher up.) And apparently without the means to build actual houses???? Great system there for the poor Atlantis. Really.

Arthur, you poor, poor bastard, you’re swimming into a shit-storm.

A gigantic shit-storm.

Arthur, you poor, poor bastard, you’re swimming into SUCH a gigantic shit-storm.

Arthur, you have my deepest sympathies. (Pun not intended.)

I know I said it before, but I’ll say it again: the implications for this world’s Atlantis are way darker than my headcanons have been.

Though this does make me wonder just how much shit Arthur and Mera might get over their relationship and how it came to be (since it obviously wasn’t through “proper traditional procedures”).

Some Other Points I Realized After Getting Some Sleep

Even though we get the sense that everything is headed by kings in Atlantis (HA), we also actually have evidence that Atlantis might not actually go in for surface-world sexist shit.

- Atlanna is clearly Atlan’s descendant, not Orm’s father, otherwise Arthur wouldn’t have been eligible for the throne. Which means the throne was hers (before she was going to be ‘sacrificed’ as a traitor). So that brings up the possibility that things may have played out differently if she’d been found out before Orm was born. (Maybe they wouldn’t have been able to safely ‘get rid of’ her without having someone of her family line available and ready to step in.)

- When Orm kills King Ricou it’s very clearly implied that the throne immediately goes to Ricou’s daughter and not his partner. There is no question or doubt that the princess is immediately in charge of her people’s armies, not even a hint that her gender is a factor in the situation. (It also reinforces the prior thing in the point about Atlanna that family-line seems to be the important factor over everything else for the royal families.)

- Atlanna and Mera both are shown to be highly capable fighters who aren’t to be taken lightly, and though we only really see them being pursued by and fighting against men, there’s not even a moment where any of the atlanteans seem surprised that they’re as capable as they are.

- The Karathen is arguably the biggest badass tank in the entire movie, and yet it’s safe to assume that when King Atlan went into his exile that he cared more about what she was capable of than he cared about the fact that she was the biggest badass woman in the entire ocean. (Assuming the Karathen even has the concept of gender. Pretty sure that’s up for question.)

Chances are high that when Atlanna was ‘sacrificed’ to the Trench, Orm saw his father’s show of harsh and callous ruthlessness and told himself that it was strength, it was admirable, and he wanted to be as much like him as possible. And there’s also the possibility that he had some part of himself deep down somewhere that was absolutely terrified over what his father might do if he ever was or became anything that his father saw fit to ‘destroy’. (Not that it excuses his purist bullshit for even a moment-- purist fucking McDouche-Face Orm can still fucking die in a fire as far as I’m concerned-- but that kind of thing may have added fuel to the fire for his purist bullshit.)

Since it’s very clearly implied that Mera and Orm were raised together, there’s a high chance they were friends as kids. It also means she got to see his increasing asshole-ish-ness, and while she may have missed the friendship they used to have as kids (thank you @tamlins-stories-and-poems for bringing this point up) she also would have known how quickly the switch could be flipped from him caring about her to him deciding she needed to die if he saw her as a ‘traitor’. (Which also explains her deliberate anti-surface comment to him before trying to say that she felt he was going too far.)

I just have to say, in regards to my fishy son La’gaan, he’s the kind of person who doesn’t willingly bow before or submit to anyone unless he feels they’ve earned it. The versions of Mera and Arthur in this movie? They are exactly the sort of people he would be ecstatic to call his Queen and King. They’re the sort of people he would be loyal to and fight with everything he has to defend them-- because they’re both the sort of people to essentially say “fuck you” to social conventions to do the right thing.

With the 7 kingdoms, at least 6 are outright mentioned (unless I’m not remembering the seventh, and even so I’m dubious about the kingdom of the Trench even counting).

- The Remaining 4: The kingdom of Atlantis, The kingdom of Xebel, The kingdom of the Fishermen, and The kingdom of the Brine.

- The ‘lost’ 3: The kingdom of the Deserters (implied to all be dead), The kingdom of the Trench (again, I’m dubious about their claim to the title, but there’s that purist rhetoric about some people having ‘regressed’-- fuck that noise SO much-- but if we put any stock in it then it would imply the kingdom was ‘lost’ because they ‘fell’ so far), and then the third one which may have been mentioned but I don’t recall.

- I just have so many doubts in regard to the Trench having their own kingdom. They’re screwed up nightmare fuel, and claiming they’re one of the Lost Kingdoms feels almost like one of those things that purists thought up as a way to support any claims they have about kisegra being “savage” and all that shit.

And while I’m at it, I fucking love how Orm’s spouting bullshit about how ‘savage’ and ‘barbaric’ kisegra are, and meanwhile the King of the Brine and King Ricou both tell him in no uncertain terms that he’s the one who’s being a violent asshole who needs to back the fuck off.

Really fucking pissed about how Orm killed Ricou and was going to kill the King of the Brine (after he’d already ripped his arm off, fucking asshole Orm).

- Also not thrilled about how after Orm gets ripped away from the King of the Brine, we don’t get to see that king again. I would have liked a moment of him making his way to Arthur to talk. (Maybe something to hope for in a sequel. And hopefully they’ll give him an actual name.)

Also, I appreciate that the one group of kisegra were called fishermen and not fish-men. It’s only something I’ve seen come up in a couple iterations (the animated Young Justice being the main one), but ‘fish head’ is yet another Atlantean slur. Presumably going off of that, things like ‘fish face’, ‘fish lips’, etc.-- while possibly not outright slurs-- could be similar enough to the actual slur to (justifiably) make any kisegra bristle. By going with ‘fishermen’ for that group, it’s pushing away the negative connotations of a possible slur by invoking a term and imagery that implies they are hunters, and therefore shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s a nice little touch that I’m not sure if the writers intended or not, but I appreciate it all the same.

That said, for all my screaming, I LOVE THIS MOVIE.

#Aquaman #Atlanteans #Arthur Curry #Queen Mera #Black Manta #La'gaan #Lagoon Boy #Orm can die in a fire #long post #meta #updated

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northeasternwind · 5 years

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my sister held good omens hostage until i watched spiderverse so here is the liveblog

Hi peter!!!

Is tehre. Is there only one spiderman

I already feel a great kinship with this kid

In a minute LMAO

GIGGLES aw baby

SKDJFHSKJDHFJ SAME MILES, SAME

What the mcheck do they expect spiderman to do

AWWWW POOR BABY LMAO

I feel that miles i denied the chance to skip a grade because i wanted to stay with my friends

He’s just grumpy dude

DAD PLEASE

FFS DAD OMFG

Hey don’t make fun of him he just loves his dad

Ilu miles pls

Is this how straight people start relationships

LMAO MILES YOUR TEACHER IS TOO SMART

I wanna be spiderman too tbh

LKMNSKAJHSDOU silly faces im yell

Oh god this uncle is gonna die isn’t he

AWWWWW BABY WHAT A GOOD UNCLE

IS SPIDER

AW MILES IS GOOD

KSJDFHSKJDFH HE HEPL

Awww dad and uncle…..

Ur spiderman now

LMAO MILES IS SO MUCH BRAVER THAN ME

JUST FUCKIN SLAPPED THAT SPIDER

Same miles i’d hate having a roommate

U HIT PUBERTIES

OMFG HE IS A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER NOW

Is this how straight people flirt

Is this a straight people thing

What the fuck

OH NO HE’S JUST SPIDERMAN NOW

EVERYONE SAW ME DUDE

I’m so sorry. You’re a main character miles

LMFAO SO THAT’S WHERE THE PLAY DUMB MEME IS FROM

THERE HE GO

BIRDS!!!!

BIRDS

Aw your new hair looks kinda nice! XD

UNCLE I’M SPIDERMAN YOU’RE IN DANGER

DAD I’M SPIDERMAN

Miles,,,,,, u will die

OH!!! SPIDEY SENSE!!!

PROTEC SMOL!!!!

MILES GO!!! LIKE YOU’RE TRYING BUT TRY HARDER!!!

SPIDEY!!!! HE SAVE!!!! YEYE

FOR FUCKS SAKE PETER LMFAOFHSDKJFHJ

Awwww baby,,,, :(

See u in a bit skdjfhksjdfhkj

Ashley says it gets complicated soon i’m gonna die

NOW HE IS FLAT

LMFAO MILES

JESUS SAME MILES, FUCKIN SAME i too would record

Who the fuck is this

Its time

Uh dad pls help

DAD

OHHHH the girl from earlier nearly said gwen because that’s spiderman’s girlfriend. I c. i unerstan

Goblin is fuckin ded

PETER!!!!

Cough of death

Miles: i diD NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS

He is only a babie peter he cannot swing

Oh peter is so smart!!!

...o he ded

nO!!! DONUT KILL THE GUY!!!!

He run

There he go

MILES OH MY GOD YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE A CONDUCTOR A HEART ATTACK

LOMFAO OSADJLKS BANKSY

Oh baby!!! Baby D:

He watched a man DIE

HI DAD!!!! I HAVE SEEN THE FACE OF DEATH AND IT LOOKED LIKE SPIDERMAN

Baby you are so smol

STAN LEE OH MY GOD

We are all spiderman

Aw baby,,,,

U gonna die LMFAOSFHDKSFJGJSDFHSKDJF HE GAVE UP

SAME TBH

I HATE HEIGHTS

Oh he’s tryin again!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hey u didn’t die!!!! Congrat!!!

Oh u broke the thing

Its okay there’s always a way

Come on there’s no fuckin way there’s no one else here

Who what the fuck

Ohhhh

kKJSDFHKSDJFHKSJDFHKJ

THE PIZZA IS MULTIPLYING

LMAO HE GRABBED THE MASK SAME BUDDY

OOF

I was about to say he’s too strong but he’s spiderman

ADIO

THERE HE GO LMAO i say lmao too much what’s a new acronym i can use

LSKDFJHSKDJFHSKJDHFKJSDF A CHILD DRESSED AS SPIDERMAN

Is this what nyc is like ashley

Miles is smert

Babie :c he sad

YAYA well i’d be hungry too

GIGGLES ITS THE MEME

HE STRONK

Clicky keyboard

LMAO

Miles babie

What the fuyck

JSHDKJ the glitching

KJHSDDKFJSH THE EXERCISE BALL

MORE SPIDERPEOPLE!!!!

NOOO OMFG HER HAIR

Oh its the aunt,,,,,

What a cool secret hideout!!!

MORE SPIDERPEOPLE@!!!! YES

Oh my god

HE IS A BABY

He is a baby

Uncle is fucking dead

Oh it’s worse than that he’s a villain

Yep that’s him

Your uncle is cool tho omg

Babies,,,,,,,

Sorry i’m super

OH NO HE DED

I’M SO DEISTRACT

He didnt wanna kill he nephew boy,,,,,

Wow this dude really was in danger and not in the way i expected

OH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BABY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NOOOOO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

MY SON

Aw boi he about to find his bro

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh babie D:

Hey!!!! Join the dead uncle club

They are a beeg spider

He is only a babie

Make a muffled noise me dude

Dad i am tied to a chair and gagged pkease break the door down

DAD I AM TIED TO A FUCKING CHAIR

PLEASE DISRESPECT MY BOUNDARIES AND UNTIE ME DAD

O!!! He is magic now!!!

U cannot spraypaint fabric this is false advertising

This is a hell of a backstory

There he go :D

Are u fuckin with me omg

KJSGFHDKJGFHDKJFHGKDJFHGKJ IM CRYIN THE WAITERS

Ffs peter

Peter for FUCKS SAKE YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME

Oh my god is this the get this bread meme. Is that what this is

More banksy

Well

I fuckin love noir spiderman oh my god

Peni is A CHILD

Its time,,,, for piggy

LKJSDLFKJSD PPPBBBBTT

HONK

THERE HE GO

SKJDFHSKDJFH he is good learn

Noooo the robot is gone,,,,,

She is too smol

There she go :c

ITLL FIT IN YOUR POCKET KSDJFHKSDJFHKJSDHF

Its still not a good joke but omg

Yeah something bad’s gonna happen before this dude goes

We’re all spiderman

What the fuck this is excellent writing

No guns

Ffs dude you really put yourself through this again

Bimch backup won’t help

Pls do not beat him up he is small

What the fuck who wrote this???? This writing is too good

LMFAOFHSKDJFHKSJDHFJ

Yaya!!!! It is normal

He has seen the glory of the multiverse

KJSDHFLKSJDHF THE ANVIL

Ok well back where we started

Pls do not arrest spiderman he is just a child

I’m sorry dad i was tied to a chair last time

Dad pls u are so bad at this

Pls i am smol gimme a hug

I can’t vbelieve his dad is commissioner gordon

Awwwwwww

Oh can we talk !!! YAY!!!! THE END

#passing wind #liveblag

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