#some of yall are still in the 'prioritizing me' stage and you have to go to 'prioiritizng others' stage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genshinconfessions · 3 years

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off-topic but i am tired and procrastinating

idk if yall ever get tired of us (mostly me) being like ‘take care of yourself’ or ‘real life should be your priority’ or in general crashing the party saying things like that.

but i really just want to say that i sometimes look at the profiles of ppl who follow us or like our posts, and they’re all super super young. like i keep seeing ‘i’m 15 years old!’ or ‘i’m only 17 so please be nice’ or just even ‘minor’ and it makes me feel like a parent like

i feel like i should be protecting yall kids from smth idk LOL but like we have certainly gotten very heated opinions and during our most heated arguments, we actually had ppl send in death threats and just stuff that’s not appropriate at all.

keith and karfield are gonna make fun of me if they ever read the blog and see this post LOL but i am old and also tired and ALSO procrastinating on everything i need to do (which is a lot) so here i am.

but no like i think when i was about yall’s age on the internet, i didn’t really have many ppl on the internet telling me that i should prioritize real life, or that some things just aren’t good to say/pick up/imitate, or anything like that. like yeah obviously i knew, my parents told me, and i’m sure certain ppl did tell me similar things but i just, i don’t remember ppl being like ‘hey you’re 15? okay we won’t talk about stuff that might not be good for you to think’.

this is a really long-winded way of saying that i think ppl our age tend to forget that not only young adults (and i mean ADULTS) play genshin, that there is a large population of minors playing it as well. like, the game is rated 12+ (and before, it was 9+ so we have a bunch of really really young kids here too), and you really cannot ignore that.

you can say that genshin’s a friendly game and that there’s not going to be anything harmful, words or content or anything, but what about the fandom? like many many of our anons have said, the genshin community can be quite toxic, especially on places like twitter, and i

i just worry about yall sometimes :/

and like i’m saying this because i was also super into things when i was in middle school and high school and i would get super defensive if anyone said anything about it that i deemed negative (even if it wasn’t) and it’s just, if no one ever calls you out on it, you keep thinking that way, and that’s not a healthy mindset.

and that’s really just one example out of many, but this is really long and yall are probably tired of it LOL and i do have work to do. but really, i just want to say that as a somewhat-mature person, i get it. being in that in-between, not-quite-old-enough stage sucks (okay, and there’s a lot of hormones at work, which causes the whole thing in the first place).

but i just want yall to realize that you cannot get every single person to like you or your opinions, and sometimes other people are the fools and it’s genuinely not worth trying to convince them otherwise. and also that not everyone in real life is as mean as ppl online in a toxic place, and it’s very isolating to still be stuck in a toxic mindset (even if you didn’t mean to develop it) when everyone else has moved on.

i also agonized about saying this or not but i’m going to: it is not imperative to spend money on something you like (cough genshin). i know some ppl do have the money to spend and don’t mind it so i’m really talking to the ppl who feel guilty about it. like yes it’s your money (or your parents’ money idk LOL) so ofc you get to choose how to spend it but you 1. should never place undue financial burdens upon yourself for a game and 2. shouldn’t feel guilty about spending or not spending anything.

if you spend, you’ve spent it and it’s done, it’s over with, just enjoy your pulls and if you still feel bad, reflect upon your actions on what to do next time. if you don’t spend, don’t let anyone shame you into spending money on a game for characters who are not real.

idk i just feel like there are so many whales on youtube and ppl comment things making fun of f2p players and i just feel like it’s normalized for ppl to spend money on games and that doesn’t cast a good message. yes i may be poor lol but just, agh man idk, there’s really no shame in not spending money on a game, guys, and i want you to know that.

because i wish there was someone to tell me that when i was younger :( and there just wasn’t.

anyway it’s Late late and i have a bunch of work to be done. i will not be deleting this unless it like super offends someone because even if it touches one person, it’ll be worth it. if that’s too cheesy, i spent like half an hour writing this so no i’m not going to delete it lmao i worked hard on this.

- katheryne from liyue

#admin #katheryne from liyue is old

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revol-lover · 4 years

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dreams don’t end at “30″

so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it

so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30

and i thought about that and realized something.

i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when

1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb)

2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol) and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically

because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.

but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why?

what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?

think about it though

in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s.

you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening

and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)

you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race.

it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.

yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school.

My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.

that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that.

last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like

ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom?

kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer

but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works

because,

my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented. my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.

but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).

but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities

and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent.

and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal.

sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about

#personal

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