#someday hmm i really want to create a game with a similar level of depth as ffxiv

[noxtivagus]

ffxiv gives me sm hope

#🌙.rambles #rambling again yes. i really just love the story so much #it. serves as a lot of inspiration and motivation for my creativity #it makes me emotional. which was especially important for me more than a year back when #i was really bottling my emotions bcs of some painful events ig that i dealt with #i love how the story n world is so deep n i cld really lose myself in my thoughts n emotions n imagination n mind as a whole #from the msq to the charas to all sorts of side stories. #the depth of the world means so much to me. and as an mmorpg we ourselves as players are a part of it #it's personal. n it keeps in improving n continuing #n that's one thing that i used to search for before ffxiv. which is why this stupid game has such a strong grasp on me #i'm attached to it yes but my affection runs on a personal emotional level. it's intertwined in my identity. i've grown up with it #i'm thankful for that. ffxiv really has taught me a lot. both in the game in itself as an rpg n the mmo aspect as well #my connection to is has become more healthy though as well now that i've grown up and healed more #it's been a vital aspect of me maturing. brings out the good in me #through its story telling. just the way how it reaches out to me #someday hmm i really want to create a game with a similar level of depth as ffxiv #not sure if i'd like it to be an mmo. maybe. but with my focus on being a doctor in the future #i'm not entirely sure how i'll go about pursuing my other dreams. but i'll find a way. i'll achieve success #help i have sm thoughts rn it's a bit overwhelming as usual but i remember myself again #and. oh there's so much i have to do. i'll do my best though. i'll do what i can n i'll try my best even if my skills are lacking #i love life. it hurts but yes i love life deeply. so i'll continue to write even if i'm a mess #aaaa drk ffxiv really resonates w me n sm of the story as well ;;;; it helped give form to myself in a time where i was so lost #n songs like to the edge n return to the oblivion have always kept me company. its lyrics giving voice n relating to my own self #n i can appreciate it as well for what it is in itself as innately part of ffxiv's story / not just my own #it hurts definitely but i love being aware of my own depth. n of life. it hurts being different in a way from the norm but i love who i am. #even if it really does feel lonely n im not entirely sure why n im not sure what to do. i'll hold unto myself. unto life n my consciousness #i'll control what i can n make my peace w what i cannot. n i'll love life n myself for what it means to me #i'll just be myself. what will complement me and what i deserve n want will rightfully come so long as i continue being myself. #i think w who i am i shouldn't hide. i have no need to be afraid. i'm meant for so much more. i cld fly so much higher n be free #so long as i hold unto that aspect of myself i think i can eventually find proper peace. in my own way. even if it's lonely. i don't belong