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crimsxnflxwerz · 5 years

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Like the Dawn - Chapter 5

chapter 5 - waste years with you notes - this chapter is barely edited. also you wont believe it, but i’ve had this mostly written since july !!!! sorry about that LOL Archive Link

Ryan woke for work at 5:30 am after a blissfully dreamless sleep. It hadn't been very long, but it was more replenishing than when he was having nightmares about drowning and fever dreams about the Gods.

He left for work, preparing himself for another busy day. He was new to the company where he worked and didn't know many people there. For the most part, he didn't do much of anything, as it was a starter job. He ran around, got people coffee, filed paperwork, the likes. There were a few people there who he enjoyed, though. A designer named Steven, a chef and video editor named Andrew, and a photographer named Adam. Out of those three Andrew was his favorite. Funny, full of stories, great cook. Adam was cool, too. Soft spoken, but when he did say something it was worth listening to. Steven was the most argumentative of the group, but intriguing. He could talk or debate with the man for quite a while on the right subject. Steven also always offered to help him look his best. Ryan was always tempted to take him up on that.

After his daily work duties were done he found himself some nice corner to work on editing his film into a nice video for his channel. He wrote out in a journal what he was planning to say in his voice over later as he edited. In this segment he would point out some interesting species of plants. And in this part he would talk about a childhood memory of a different forest.

Editing videos like this really put him in a different mindset. He was born and raised in the city, but he had family that lived in the wilderness. As soon as he was ten he was being carted off into the uncharted lands of Oregon every summer to spend some quality time with his grandparents. He remembers those times with the clarity of muddy water. When his dysphoria was at its peak he could run off into the thicket of trees behind his grandparents house and disappear for hours, his only company the dew damp trees and the skittish rabbits.

In those woods he met many creatures and critters. His favorite, by far, were the fauns. There were plenty of deer all over the country, but in the deep woods, where all you can see are giant, looming trees and long, untamed grass, they were almost like an entirely new animal. They were gentle, making soft, curious noises whenever he came around. They would bow their heads to sniff around his feet and push their snouts into his palm like dogs begging for a treat.

Nature had always been a huge part of his personality. He cared for stray cats, nursed injured birds back to health, helped foxes get free from hunting traps. He cared for animals like snakes and rats as much as he cared for more enjoyable animals. He respected nature, and it respected him in return.

He didn't know why it was like that, but it was as normal as anything else. At the best of times it was a cool party trick. At the worst it was a minor inconvenience.

As he looked through more content, he eventually came to the footage of him running into Shane. He went to delete it, because that was the obvious thing to do, but something made him pause. He had kept his camera running when he'd run face first into the man, and he happened to catch a full shot of his face. It was blurry, but it was there. And there was something strange about it. He played the video back and saw it again. For a moment, not even a full second, Shane's eyes were gold.

He remembered that moment very clearly. The heat of Shane's body and the crunch of the leaves and the rush of air being knocked from his lungs. The sun was out, but from where Shane was standing, he had been cast in shadow. Ryan knew that in certain types of brown eyes, the sunlight could make them look gold, but that wasn't what was happening. Through the whole shot, the area was dark. How could his eyes be gold?

Unless his dreams were real. And he was the reincarnation of Persephone. And Shane was Hades, come from the Underworld in search of his queen.

Except that, that… was crazy. Gods weren't real. The gold must've been a lens flare or something. Although, he couldn't shake the feeling that something more was going on here. He cut the footage from his video, but saved it in a separate folder anyways.

Maybe the sleep deprivation was finally getting to him. Maybe he needed a drink. He wondered if any of his old college buddies wanted to go out tonight.

Or-- he could meet Shane at the Seashell.

It was Friday, he would be there, right? This could be his chance to meet him for real, have a friendly conversation with him, and maybe even figure this all out. But maybe, there wasn't anything to figure out. What if he just had an overactive imagination lately? Maybe he shouldn't have stopped seeing that therapist.

Either way, he was going to go to the Seashell. He would talk to Shane, have a good time, and get his number. He jotted down some final notes for his video and tucked his journal away before his manager came over and scolded him again.

You can do this, Ryan, he thought. It's just some fun. He’s just a guy.

After Shane had gotten the gang all set up in a hotel room with human identities, he couldn't go back to sleep. He was too jittery to try, so he cooked up some oatmeal and brewed a pot of coffee and brought out a notepad.

He jotted down some things for his staff to do for the day and brought out his sage burning bowl from the cupboard. Sara had gotten it for him when she noticed that he tended to get stressed out easily. He didn't really use it often, except to send notes to the underworld. He brought out a set of matches and struck one against the box. It lit up and he used it to burn the note, whispering the names of his servants as he did so. Maybe it was lazy, but it was faster than going back down. It helped him stay above the memories in his home.

After the paper was completely ash, Shane tossed the remains in the trash and put the bowl in the sink. Then he lit two candles and grabbed the cinnamon for his oatmeal. Once he was finally settled, he looked out the window to see that the sun was just starting to break the dark horizon. It was dawn. Dawn, something he never got to see in the underworld. Down below the horizon was a constant white to black gradient. Ominous and cold over the dark waters of Styx.

Overworld sunrises were completely different. When the sun is still settled behind the trees, you can see the sky start to lighten. From navy blue, to purple, to pink. Breaking the treeline brings more intense colors. Orange, red, and gold. It was gorgeous. He wondered how many humans truly appreciated how wonderful their world was. Although, it wasn't as if he were pure of that misfortune.

Shane sighed, turning his oatmeal in the bowl, suddenly feeling a bit too forlorn. His appetite vanished. He shook his head. He couldn't think like that now. Couldn't fall back into pointless misery.

He needed to come up with a plan before the other God's come back around. That group would be the death of him, he knew it. He didn't have any leads right now, though. However, something that Eugene said stuck to him. A thorn in his side, digging under his skin.

‘Or prince’.

Shane hadn't even considered that at all. Because of this oversight, he could have overlooked Persephone a thousand times over. In fact, as his mind started to wander back, he could recall some men in past generations that seemed to call to him- but at the time he'd ignored them. As ignorant as that sounded, he was simply too blinded by grief to think straight.

With this new information, Shane filed through all the possible men who could be Persephone. He wondered if any physical characteristics would carry over? Like her dark hair, or the dusting of freckles over her nose, or the petal-soft curve of her lips.

He didn't care too much about her body, but it would help him find her if she looked the same- or similar.

He racked his brain for some list of men he's met since coming to the overworld this time. It was dramatically shorter than the list of women, but maybe there was something to that. Maybe there was someone who would stand out from the rest…

Then it clicked.

Ryan .

Shane was on the edge of panic. He had missed a huge component of searching just because he was too stupid to think about it at all. The worst part was being reminded of this essential element via a God he didn’t like or want to associate with. He couldn’t deny, however, that if Eugene had never come up and suggested that, he would still be searching endlessly for women alone. To say he felt embarrassed was an understatement. He was supposed to be part of the big three. He was supposed to be… perceptive at the least.

But now he found himself right where he wanted to be the least. Last night he’d found the gang a hotel to stay at since it was too late to properly purchase any apartment. It was one of the cheaper chains, but still nice because of the area. He had just wanted to get them out his hair for the moment. They probably already knew he was there. He took a sharp breath in and walked into the hotel.

As he entered the lobby, he was distracted by the savory food smell. Oh yes, this hotel served breakfast until 11am. Although the Gods didn't need to eat to survive for the first few weeks in their human form, they greatly enjoyed doing so. Humans have always made food preparation into an art somehow. Using delicate balances of spices and techniques, they could create whatever craving they desired.

Shane was interested as well, but he knew that Eugene was behind the decision to stay at the hotel that had a bar and free breakfast. Eugene was the party God, after all. Enjoying indulgences and bodily pleasures since the dawn of mankind. The thought made Shane blush, but he shook it off as he rounded the corner into the hotels cafe.

He spotted them instantly. Although, it wasn't hard considering Eugene was the only one holding what was very obviously some vodka in a paper bag, Keith was arranging his food into some kind of art piece, Ned was talking avidly about his wife, and Zach was trying not to look like he'd desperately like to leave.

Shane approached cautiously, but his casual display was quickly shattered when he was spotted. Zach immediately stood and walked over, beaming.

“Hades!” he said, and Shane shot him a look.

“No,” he frowned, looking to see if any other patrons were listening. They all seemed pretty dead tired. “Call me Shane.”

Zach apologized, “oh, right, sorry!”

Shane shrugged it off and they went to sit with the rest of the group. The rest of the God's paused in what they were doing to look up at Shane. He sat down and everything was quiet for a painful second. He swallowed nervously.

“So,” he cleared his throat. “I've done a lot of thinking and,” he paused. The group looked like they were on the edge of their seats. “I think I know a lead for who Persephone is.”

The God's all had various positive reactions to the news. Eugene had a smirk on his face, leaning forward.

“What changed?” He asked. “You've been going in circles for millennia.”

Shane grit his teeth. He hated admitting that someone helped him. He hated even more to admit someone he kind of hated helped him. Well, he guessed he didn't hate Eugene. The guy was just kind of unpleasant sometimes.

“It was your comment yesterday.” He murmured. “You said ' or prince ’ and… I didn't even consider that until you said something.”

Eugene grinned. “Wow, pretty closed minded for a God to never think about that.”

Ned scoffed. “I think he was just too heartbroken to think straight.”

“Or to think anyway other than straight.” Keith joked. Shane looked unamused at the banter.

“Well who do you think it is?” Zach butt in. “Do you know his name?”

Shane nodded, wringing his hands, feeling suddenly nervous. “Yeah.” He couldn't take meeting their eyes so he stared down at the table. “His name is Ryan. I ran into him in the woods. I don't know anything about him.”

There was silence around him. He finally looked back up and the rest of the Gods were looking between themselves. It was almost like they were communicating silently somehow. Eventually, Keith looked back at Shane and smiled.

“So, you don't know anything about him?” He asked.

Shane was about to shake his head when he remembered a few things. “Well, he was shooting some video so he might have a channel. Um, he lives on my street I think… and I told him I go to the Seashell sometimes if he ever wanted to hang out.”

“Oh, well that's something.” Ned said, looking a little less stressed about the situation. “Why do you think he's the one?”

Shane stilled. He pursed his lips. Why did he think Ryan was the one? Because of that pulling feeling in the woods? Because of his deep brown eyes? Was it the feel of his body pressing into him and his small, soft hands?

“I was in the forest,” he said, scratching his chin. “There was this pulling in my chest. Like I was attached to a string. I felt drawn away. And then-- I met him.”

The other Gods looked a little in awe. It really did sound like it was meant to be when he said it like that. But he wasn't exaggerating. He didn't make that kind of thing up.

“Wow, that sounds magical.” Ned said after a breathless pause. “Did the feeling go away after you met him?”

Shane nodded. He felt so stupid now, after he got the chance to really think about it. The fates weren't so cruel. They were trying to bring them together and he ignored them. It made his head hurt thinking about it.

“Well, how do we find him?” Shane heard one of them say. He shook his head.

“I- I didn't get his number or anything. I didn't think I was gonna see him again. I told him about the bar though.” He explained. “He might go there tonight. Should I go?”

Zach piped up, “I think it's your best chance at seeing him again.” He said. “Do you really think you found him so easily?”

Shane looked at Zach for a moment before casting his eyes down. He studied the table and took a short breath in.

“I may have found him, but it's never so easy.” Shane said softly. The rest of the Gods fell silent. After a moment, Shane awkwardly laughed. “So, wanna get set up with a new apartment?”

When Ryan got home from work, he was nervous. He was going to go to the Seashell tonight, meet up with Shane, and clear everything up. Honestly, his nerves were on fire, his thoughts running a mile a minute. He was considering every outcome as he went through some daily routines.What if Shane didn't show? What if he didn't recognize him? What if he couldn't find the bar? What if the bar was unexpectedly closed? What if Shane wasn't even a nice guy, what if he was a serial killer?

There were a lot of things to consider when you went out on a limb like he was doing. He wanted to make a good impression, but he didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard. He also wanted to know what he was going to say to the man. What information is too much? What is too little? He didn't want to appear mysterious, because he was actually quite boring. Although, part of him also reminded him that the way they met was already like some meet-cute romance novel, so maybe it wouldn't end up being that bad after all.

Ryan managed to set aside his worry long enough to look at his clothes. He needed to pick an outfit, but he wasn't sure what look he was going for. His wardrobe mostly consisted of jerseys and basketball shorts, since he was lazy at best. He had some nicer outfits, mostly for work, but some for formal occasions.

After rummaging through his closet for thirty minutes he managed to muster up an outfit for the night. It was dark grey jeans, almost black, paired with a light grey button up. The button up had a tiny red rose pattern, giving the look some color back. Ryan debated wearing a bow tie, but ditched the idea last minute. It was a bar for Christ sake! He was already going to be overdressed. He just hoped Shane didn't dress like a hobo for this specific occasion- or just didn't show at all.

He checked all of his belongings three times. He had his wallet, with his ID, some cash, and card. He had his fully charged cell phone. He itched to bring his camera, but it would undoubtedly get damaged so he left it alone. Was that everything? He took one last look at his place before turning towards the door. His hand on the doorknob, he took a long breath in and then let it out slowly. He opened the door and went out.

Everything was going to be fine .

“Guys please, I need to go.” Shane said, although his voice didn't sound urgent. He was too tired to sound urgent.

After breakfast, Shane and the group had scoped out new apartments. Despite his best efforts, they ended up landing a place right next door to Shane's apartment complex that was slightly higher quality and also much larger than his own. He kinda hoped the group would be drawn to the more lavish apartments… the ones that were further away from him. But now they were involved with him. Zach, especially, wanted to help Shane. Ned thought the whole thing was romantic, which Shane would have to pass a hard disagree on.

After they sorted out the paperwork, they booked the hotel for a few more nights until move in. Then the group decided that they wanted to pick out Shane's outfit for tonight.

Cue four extra people in Shane's little apartment bedroom, throwing about clothing and arguing amongst themselves for a few hours.

Shane needed a drink. Lots of drinks. And fast. Very fast.

Currently, Ned and Eugene were both holding up shirts to Shane's torso and shouting over which one looked nicer. It was a close tie between a disco patterned button up and a soft, charcoal grey sweater.

“Well I think this sweater gives a welcoming, homey vibe. You know, imagine coming home from work to your husband wearing a cozy looking sweater. Wouldn't you want to snuggle up?” Ned defended his choice well. Shane liked the particular sweater he was holding. It was well worn and comfortable, something he wore on lazy days.

Eugene scoffed. “He's going to a bar, not your grandmother's Christmas party! This shirt has more pop, it catches the eye. And ugly patterns are in now! It perfectly matches his personality. Modern, but cool.”

Shane had to admit, they both had good arguments. Although, he wasn't sure how ‘ modern, but cool ’ he was. He did like the disco patterned shirt. It was mostly a joke, but he was also pretty fond of how it fit.

Zach butted in. “I say disco pattern.” In the background, Keith nodded in agreement. Ned stomped his foot, not unlike a child being told 'no’ . Shane swallowed down a laugh.

“You guys have no sense!” He tossed the sweater onto Shane's bed and crossed his arms in a huff.

“Disco pattern it is then?” Shane said, sounding relieved. He was itching to leave. He didn't care what he was wearing at this point.

“I hope this Ryan guy likes losers,” Ned muttered under his breath.

The rest of them chuckled at the comment, and left Shane to get changed. After the outfit was situated, he simply looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was a mess, even after many attempts at combing his fingers through it. He hadn't shaved in a few days, and he looked plain tired. He wondered what Ryan would think about him.

Was he even going to show up? Was this a good idea?

He sighed. There was only one way to find out.

He left his bedroom to find the boys in the kitchen. There were five shot glasses all in a line down the counter. They had some sort of clear liquid in it. Shane paled.

Eugene was holding a bottle of vanilla vodka, and he laughed at the other God's expression.

“Don't worry, it's not poison!” He joked. “We thought one shot to give you a little confidence boost?”

The rest of them nodded enthusiastically and picked up their own glasses. Eugene put the bottle down and picked up two glasses, handing one off to Shane.

“To Hades’ love life!” Eugene cheered. The rest of them laughed. Shane pretended to gag.

“To Hades’ love life!”

The bar was crowded. Well, to be fair it was the weekend, of course people would be excited to go out. The seashell was one of his favorite places to hang out and observe people.

Humans were curious creatures. Like the God's, they had complex emotions and intricate bonds. They had desires and needs that weren't always so easy to understand. Unlike the God's, however, they were inhibited by their mortality. For example, if two people were brawling in this bar, it wouldn't normally get too out of hand, lest someone get mortally wounded.

Besides the laws in their society, humans naturally feared things they couldn't understand. Death, afterlife, religion, mental illness, the list goes on. To watch humans interact in such a vulnerable place. A bar, where morals are loosened, where bars are lowered. It was interesting.

Though today, he wasn't people watching. He was here for a reason.

He leaned against an open bar stool and ordered a simple beer. The shot from earlier wasn't enough to buzz him, but it did make him feel warm- and a little less anxious.

“Would you like the start a tab, sir?” the bartender asked him.

“Yes, thank you,” he said and handed her his credit card. A few patrons mingled around the bar. The Seashell wasn't the largest bar every, but it was a fairly good sized building. It had an upper floor that was a sit down restaurant, and this lower level was the bar. It wasn't dingy-- clean enough to make you feel okay about sticking around.

After a few moments, he checked his phone.

Sara : what are you doing this weekend?

Shane gave a soft hum at the text. He'd been so busy carting around that gaggle of Gods that he completely forgot about Sara. He hoped she wasn't too upset about it. She undoubtedly knew he was a busy guy.

Shane : I dunno yet. I met someone. I'm at the bar right now waiting for him.

Just then the bartender passed him his beer. He smiled as he thanked her. He took a sip, and a moment later a woman leaned on the stool next to him.

“Hey,” she said to him. Shane had to do a double take to realize that it was actually him she was talking to. “You here all by yourself?”

Shane swallowed nervously. It wasn't that he'd never been flirted with before, it was more like-- he really didn't need to be dealing with such a situation right now. What if Ryan saw him and got angry? Although, it wasn't as if the two were dating. Even if that might be in their future.

He would have to see if his theory was correct first, before he thought about that.

“N-no, I'm waiting for someone.” He said, thankfully only stuttering a little bit. The girl looked on mischievously.

“Who is it, your girlfriend? Your wife?” She leaned into his space. He pulled back, but she was still uncomfortably close. He felt a nervous sweat on the back of his neck.

His phone buzzed.

Sara : Met someone? Ohmygod you have to tell me all the deets! He's a dude? What's his name? Is he pretty?

Shane gave a short huff of laughter at the text. Then he smiled slyly and looked back at the woman.

“Yeah, I'm waiting for my boyfriend.” He said, sternly. The women's face fell and she backed off.

“Ahh, okay then.” With that, she left. Shane grimaced, even though he felt better with her gone. He took a long drink of his beer.

Shane : His name is Ryan. He's short. Cute. Dark hair. Dark eyes. He makes videos. Might have a YouTube channel. Don't know yet though.

When he looked up from his phone this time, he felt a soft tugging in his heart. He glanced towards the door and instantly saw him.

Ryan was dressed casually, but still nice. He looked nervous, but determined. In fact, Shane wasn't sure how he didn't see the similarities before. The boy really did look like a modern, male Persephone.

Then Ryan looked his way and smiled. It was blinding. Shane waved him over.

“Hey, you're here.” Ryan said. He blushed then, scratching awkwardly at the back of his neck. “W-well, of course you are. You said you'd be here…”

Shane stifled a laugh at Ryan's little stumble. He knew what the boy meant. You couldn't always be sure when you're making plans with strangers.

“No worries, I wouldn't ditch you.” He smiled. “I'm a little surprised you came, too. I was worried you might've thought I was some kind of creep.”

Ryan laughed at that. “No, no! You're not creepy, well-- as far as I can tell. Although, we did meet each other in the woods.” He looked away for a moment, and noticed Shane's beer. “Already started, huh?”

“Of course. Hey, drinks on me, yeah?” He offered. Ryan blushed again.

“On you? Oh, no, I--” Ryan started, but cut himself off. He seemed to ponder it for a moment before sighing. “Oh- okay. As long as you let me pay the next time.”

“Next time? You must like me.” Shane couldn't help but laugh. Ryan lightly punched him in the arm.

Shane ordered two more drinks for them and they chatted away. Ryan barely spoke a word or two about his job, but went off about his YouTube channel. He loved film and vlogging helped him a lot with practicing different filming and editing styles. It also helped him build his portfolio so that he could break into a career in it. Shane gave some vague description of an accountant as his job, and mostly steered the conversation towards his hobbies. Gardening, reading, and watching movies were his top three. He mostly liked movies for the popcorn, though, if he was being honest.

“Oh yeah, same. Popcorn is my favorite food!" Ryan said, grinning. “I like it classic, though. Just a spritz of butter and a dash of salt and you're good to go!”

“One time I walked into a theater and bought a large popcorn even though I wasn't seeing a movie.” Shane said. Ryan laughed. “The employees eyed me strangely, but otherwise it was a liberating experience.”

“What kinds of things do you garden?” Ryan asked. He was on his fifth or sixth beer, Shane noticed. He had switched to water after his third beer. He hoped Ryan wasn't drinking too much. Though he was curious about how he would act, drunk.

“Well, I can't do much with my current apartment. But I do grow lots of flowers. I set them up on all my windows and try my hardest to keep them alive.” He paused, suddenly feeling a bit forlorn. “Gardening reminds me of someone I used to know. They were really special to me.”

“Who?” Ryan asked, though he bit his lip and quickly said, “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want.”

Shane shook his head. His heart hurt to talk about Persephone, but he'd been hurting for so long that it was natural for him. He smiled.

“Her name was Persie.” He said, leaning against the bar. Ryan moved in closer, interest written on his face. “She was really one of a kind. Plants in her care thrived effortlessly, any kind, no matter the weather. She had such a way with animals, too. Even the most savage beasts would roll over for a rub when she was around.” He paused, letting out a sigh. “I have this dog. He's quite a vicious dog, trained in guarding territory. The first time she met him, he whined and licked her hand. He hasn't even done that with me. It was amazing.”

Ryan smiled, “wow, she sounds wonderful. What happened to her?”

Shane let his face fall a bit at the question. “I-- uh,” he hesitated, taking a sip of his water. His voice was nothing but a whisper. “She… she went away.”

Ryan frowned empathetically. “I'm so sorry.”

Shane was quiet for a moment, before peeking back up. “It's alright. That was a long, long time ago.”

Ryan downed the rest of his beer. There was a constant pink tinge in his face from drinking, Shane could tell. It was rather cute.

“Hey, this may or may not be too much info, but speaking of more serious things, I keep having these weird dreams.” Ryan started. He inched closer to Shane, enough so that he could lean against him. Shane blushed, but didn't pull away. “Sometimes i'm on a long, white sand beach somewhere I've never seen before. Sometimes I'm drowning in dark water. Once, I was in a magnificent castle. But I'm always someone else.” He paused. “Well. I'm still me, but people call me another name. I have even seen myself in my dream. I look the same, but also-- different. A different version of myself.”

“What do they call you in these dreams?” Shane asked. His heart pounded. What Ryan was about to say might change everything.

Ryan opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, he winced and brought up a hand to his head like he was hurt. Shane put an arm around his shoulders, but Ryan was quick to push him away.

“I should go,” he said. Shane was kind of stunned. He wasn’t sure what to say. As Ryan got up to leave, he grabbed the man’s arm.

“Wait--” he started. Ryan looked back at him then, and Shane could’ve sworn his eyes flashed gold.

He let go.

Ryan left the bar quickly and disappeared from sight. Shane still had his hand open, the lingering feeling of pressing skin to skin still on his fingers. Those eyes. Shane’s heart pounded away. His phone buzzed.

Sara : He sounds cute! Don’t mess it up!

#shyan #gods au #like the dawn #my fic #shyan fic

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