#source: the way din grumpily repairs the crest again and again is exactly how I feel while in therapy lol

[vaguely-concerned]

big brain take upon this rewatch of s2ep2: the razor crest is symbolic of din’s sense of self and that’s why we keep getting the ‘crest gets torn to shreds ---> din tiredly has to fix it’ loop. it’s old, and creaky, and barely limping along, set up in some peculiar ways to compensate for where things are broken so it can still somewhat function, and lately it’s being continually exposed to stress it’s not really capable of withstanding unscathed and keeps needing repairs.   

if you read it like that this episode has a double meaning: on some deep subconscious level he sees suddenly having to let a stranger, however benign-seeming, into his safe-ish personal space as a hostile invasion, later literalized by having an actual horror movie-esque invasion come flooding in and leave icky cobwebs everywhere. (and yet it is empathy for and bonding with frog lady -- as well as her fabulous call out of his immediate descent into defeatist resignation lol -- that saves the baby and thus din’s will to live towards the end. not all ‘invasions’ are made equal, sometimes we need to connect to safe people and let them in just a little. widening that window of tolerance with the realization that some people can be trusted and will help not hurt you, episode by episode. delicious.)  

even further in this reading: he invited kuiil and cara, two people he already knows and trusts, on board by his own free will and that actually felt sort of nice and cosy but also... a bit crowded, overwhelming, the ship isn’t really meant to hold that many people and certainly not over a long period of time (at least not in its current configuration, I seem to remember the ship is actually meant to be able to house up to three people b/c it’s a pre-Empire military patrol ship? so it might have been refurbished a bit to be more useful to a lone wolf operator). before that he’s been transporting people frozen in carbonite, effectively rendering them into objects that can’t threaten him. din’s whole way of life after losing his parents seems to have been centered on being able to go it alone (emotionally if not tactically), on not becoming too attached to or dependent on anything or anyone, and his ship reflects this perfectly. he can’t have the armour around his entire life, but by god it’s not for lack of trying on his part. (notably he uses the exact same wording about the ship’s hull as he does about his armour -- which is protecting the innermost vulnerable parts of him, the stuff that will literally kill him if broken -- in episode 3: in both cases he phrases it as ‘it has lost its integrity’. I did take note of that the first time around without quite realizing why it seemed important but fdskajfhsad that’s so cool ) 

finally: it was kuiil’s kindness and patience and guidance that helped him learn he can fix the ship, even when it’s been battered until it’s almost reduced to mere scrap, and that’s why his music still plays during those scenes even though he’s gone. and he taught IG-11, and IG-11 saved din’s life by helping to heal where the armour hadn’t been able to protect him despite everything. and I want to cry now  

#source: the way din grumpily repairs the crest again and again is exactly how I feel while in therapy lol #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian meta #the mandalorian spoilers #it is very ironic but I think this ice planet themed ep has some stuff to say about the freeze response #and how it's din's first line of defense #and how that isn't always going to work out #especially now that he needs to take care of more than himself #yeah the mandalorian will always be a trauma narrative first everything else second to me haha #meta #aaaaaah did you miss my wild overthinking readings of this show I sure did lol