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#teamazurith
twstanon · 11 months
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Anon report from Az's server.
I made a Tumblr for this, I'm not saying who I am because I don't want to risk being attacked myself. But I was actually on Az's server for some time, and I'm sick at seeing how these people are treating Az. I wasn't on the VA server, nor was I around when apparently there was drama with another server so I can't comment on that. But, I was around for a while, and interacted some. For the most part, Az's server was warm and inviting. It was one of the few places I felt comfortable talking and I was sad and slightly distressed to see it go. I went looking for why and was shocked to find the document and people trying to attack Az. From what I saw, Az was usually encouraging, though sometimes blunt, and I can see how Az might rub some people the wrong way, but nothing like what was described in the document. What I can say is that both Bon and Retro often referred to the server as their "Comfort server" and they all seemed to have pretty good camaraderie. Especially Retro, who Az even handed the server over to for a while. I don’t think you’d do that if you didn’t trust the person. I was there the night the VA server was created, though I only lurked in that channel because I wasn't a part of it, and I was on the night that Bon came in upset about what had happened on her server. I actually happened to think that it was incredibly rude of her to do so.
Personally, I think the reason Bon and Retro were made to feel guilty, is because they were guilty. Az stated the truth, what Bon was complaining about was exactly what she had done. If your feelings are affected by someone being open and honest with you, then thats on you. Its no excuse to attack the person who made you feel that way. I’m also flabbergasted at many of the other accusations in the document. They do not line up with my experiences at all. Poor mental health was a common topic on the server, but that was because many of us suffered from mental health issues and tried to comfort each other.  Some of her darker subject matter is what attracted me to Az’s writing in the first place. Many of us readers would find comfort in those stories. It was also something Retro frequently wrote about. 
I do remember when Bon was made a mod, and then within a day no longer one. I didn’t know what caused it, but didn't want to pry. I know Az was struggling at the time, because almost immediately after they left the server themselves. I think holding a mental breakdown that severe against someone is terrible. I saw Az's post talking about how they were suicidal at the time, and I wish they'd spoke up more. I don't know what went on in DMs (I find it sus Az is willing to release them and Retro is against it.) But I cannot believe that Az would ever encourage her to do anything bad. They were clearly suffering themselves and didn't need to take anything from someone else. As far as the accusations of being racist and transphobic, I never got that vibe from Az. It's not racist to like the characters the way they are in the game, and there were otherwise constant racial edits posted to the server it seemed like, and the edits were never deleted or taken down. I was not around/active at the time any of it happened, but I know Az often said she was rules oriented like Riddle, and liked to stick close to canon. This is all speculation but from my semi outside perspective, Everyone involved sound like a bunch of jealous teenagers throwing a fit because they didn't get their way. They screwed up and rather than deal with it, they tried to destroy someone.
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