#thats not exactly like. the normal perisex afab experience lol. but at the same time my specific reproductive disorder and hormone imbalance

[theygender]

The more I think about it the more I really feel like the recently coined term mesosex might fit me and it's been shared by several intersex education/advocacy blogs I follow now so I know there's support for the term but I'm still like. Scared I would be Intruding™ on intersex issues if I started using it. Like I mean. I'm an afab & (afaik) perisex person with a reproductive disorder that's likely caused by a (non-intersex) hormone imbalance which I'm now essentially having to take feminizing HRT to fix, and as a result I'm now growing tits and undergoing female-pattern fat redistribution at the age of 25 after years of having little to no secondary sex characteristics. I've always identified with intersex issues but now that I'm essentially having to undergo HRT to make my body match my asab that connection to intersex issues feels even stronger. And like that's what the term is for. But my anxiety is still like "but what if you're intruding tho" lol 🙃

#rambling #for the curious the specific disorder is endometriosis and recent research has shown that endo is most likely linked to #estrogen dominance which is where either your body makes too much estrogen OR not enough other hormones (progesterone & testosterone) #and given that the only thing that has helped me at all has been going on full progestin-only treatments #and the fact that everything ive researched about estrogen dominance and low progesterone matches up with my symptoms #it definitely seems like low/no progesterone is the issue for me #(although the docs didnt test my levels beforehand and now i cant get them tested unless i want to go off treatments 🥲) #and like. this progestin treatment has changed my fucking life. legitimately #like it didnt just stop my (pretty severe) endo it also fixed like. all of my physical health issues. stuff i didnt even know was related #dont wanna get off topic talking about my other health issues but. going on progestin has easily been the best health thing to happen to me #but it also feels so fucking weird to be going through the same type of changes that like transfems go through on hrt essentially #as an afab perisex person. its not a bad weird but like its just a strange phenomenon and it would be nice to put words to it i guess? #like im a person who has lived the last 10+ years disabled by a reproductive disorder that prevented my body from developing 'normally' #and now im going through feminizing hrt at the age of 25 to fix my reproductive disorder #thats not exactly like. the normal perisex afab experience lol. but at the same time my specific reproductive disorder and hormone imbalance #dont classify me as intersex (no hyperandrogenism just some mix of too much estrogen/not enough progesterone or testosterone #typical anatomy (afaik) aside from the uterine abnormalities resulting from endometriosis) #and its just. such a weird position to be in. i share a lot of common ground with intersex issues but im not intersex myself #and the whole purpose of mesosex was to create a word for people who arent quite either. 'people who identify with but not as intersex' #and i think that describes me. but also like.... do i count?? 😭 #tmi #request to tag