#the cissona was real .......

[vzajemnik]

looking at pics of myself from a year ago makes me so sad lol

#🗞️ #the cissona was real ....... #but like. you can be trapped in a cissona but you can make the cissona gay. somehow ive straightened myself out to a point of where+ #my new friends seeing those pictures of me r like thats not u that person is literally straighter than me (i dont have many queer friends-_ #& im like. 😬😬hahaaa....... #i wanted to say idk why i even trapped myself like that but i was literally helplessly in love with a straight dude #to whom i was just the other woman #& i wanted him to just bear my existence bc we didnt click at all. so i wanted to be as attractive as possible to him. #STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and also my inner monologue looked like. i know i could be happier but id rather be a fraud and attractive than true to myself & ugly. girl #me 2021-2022 get help......... what even is that mentality............. #anyway now im better i think. its a recent development i literally stopped going after straight guys at the end of may. so. #then i read stone butch blues and now here we are. very confused but at the end of the day. the cissona is gone #if im being honest im scared ill bump into that guy bc of whom i developed this severe of a cissona bc although its been a year since #we havent seen each other. im still so down bad. we havent talked in a year and a half💀 #and ill put on the cissona again #ahnywayz hope you all are having a good night

[cornflowercanine]

8esties if 8y some odd chance you talk a8out me, clove w.izard quirke to your real life family mem8ers or friends or so on, you have explicit permission to she/her me so you dont have to explain neopronouns to random irl ppl who might already suck. do not she/her me Online 8y any means 8ut if you are like. to your parents "my friend made a post where she-" thats fine

#clove rambles #cistrending ♥ #i used the 8lender today for the first time since like 2016 or some shit #to re-slushiefy a peach drink i got lastnnight and it turned out so gooood waaaaaa #me and my collection of drinks that taste like peach calpico #oh also re; irl name situ8ion i think my REAL name will 8e clove wren quirke 8ut my LEGAL name will 8e #riley ??? irving. i still dont know what to make my middle name OTL #i havent actually Thought a8out the logistics of new irl cissona instead of just. sticking with the old one #like When do i change my name should i change it just 8efore i leave while im still in utah and just dont explain it to my family #or do i have to 8e 8irthname for a little 8it when im out of utah and just hope no8ody remem8ers it #8ut 8ah :P i h8 my 8irthname and the thinking 8ehind it is clove is MY name and its personal to me #and its also reflective of my me gender and ive heard lots of stories from other trans ppl who would use their actual names #8ut get misgendered anyway so they connect their real names with that instead of just their 8irth/deadname #AND THAT SOUNDS SUCKS and im not planning to come out 8lah8lah8lah long story so #and also to just avoid and seper8 myself from my family and kinda like start anew? im still gonna pretend i h8 the name riley and shit #and pretend like i just had an averagely shitty family for a qu33r person and not . a8ysmal cultworld family #8ah this is ram8ly X3 if you have any good fun middle names that Prefera8ly start in W lmk #i considered ivy for a Second 8ut.. riley ivy irving... so silly name

[ysolt]

fun fact when i still kept my hair short and wore ray-bans i was real life arcade gannon. im not going to post old images of me but im not kidding he is my cissona. those who’ve known me for that long will know im not lying

#violet talks #he does talk like me too its truly funny to play fnv and just run around with your twin