#the issue with reality being nigh unbearable ... is that you cannot bear reality. and thus detach. but u cannot go too far away from it.

[piplupod]

(can i please get a waffle voice): can i PLEASE having a coping mechanism that doesnt turn maladaptive. can i PLEAAASE have just one !!! i am Begging you, on my hands and knees !!!!! AUGH

#tfw your coping mechanism detaches you from reality and now you're watching yourself warily to make sure u dont fall into That Pit again #skirting around the edge and unhooking my claws from the coping mechanism and holding it gingerly with the tips of my fingers #praying i do not have to put it down entirely. because man..... its slim pickings around here for shit that actually Works fhfjdkl #the issue with reality being nigh unbearable ... is that you cannot bear reality. and thus detach. but u cannot go too far away from it. #or else Bad Shit happens. that i don't especially want to experience again fhdjdkdl #it'd be so cool to have a brain that didnt do this. so i could just freely la-dee-da along with fun things #instead of the fun things turning Bad bc they went too far fjfkdl #or having to keep a very close eye on myself when i get into new things bc i can see they have the potential to go badly for Me w my brain #sobbing forever honestly. i feel awful. this sucks shit. im trying to be funny about it to cope but im Upset fjfjddkl #im so sick of this type of thing fjdkdl I wish i could just like... be okay. for a while. without it going badly like this fjfkfl #i thought maybe i was on the up finally but nooooo it's just bc i was getting too far from holding onto reality properly #god i hate this pattern. im so fucking angry w it tbh fjfkfl i cannot believe i let myself think this was going to be different fjfkfl #but anyways!! onwards we march and hopefully i figure smth out fjfkdl im uhhhh very tired #going to crawl into bed at the ripe time of 8:30pm and just go listen to music and draw or smth idk fjfkfl this is frustrating #pippen needs 2nd breakfast