#the plot is a bunch of subterfuge and running from the past (literally) and figuring out why parents are the way they are

[hawnks]

in all ways except physically, i am here

#I FORGOT TIME EXISTS #I’ve been so busy lately that I FORGOT that my first official thesis appointment is coming up #I’ve got four days to write 25 pages and an outline for the rest of the novel AND they have to be good #so that my advisor doesn’t immediately regret taking me on NAJSJSJDJD #I’m just sooooooo unsure of what direction it should be going #becuase like it’s a coming of age novel primarily #but not for highschooler #like the second coming of age when you wake up and realize that your life is not what you expected it to be when you were ten and had #all those dreams and anything was possible and suddenly it just hits you that you will just have to #… go on living anyway #but that’s not the plot #the plot is a bunch of subterfuge and running from the past (literally) and figuring out why parents are the way they are #but idk idk #is it good enough? #am I doing the right thing? #can I commit to doing this for the rest of the year? #:< #I’ve had this line since the inception of these characters years ago and it’s like: #‘the van says hallelujah church of eskard on the side. at night they sleep in the back or at shitty roadside motels with vinyl headboards #and missing shower curtains #HELLO WAIT I FIGURED IT OUT #I UNDERSTAND NOW #A plot-> a bunch of hijinks that Agnes goes through in the hopes of regaining her sixth sense #B plot -> Agnes’ repressed misery about her fathers death has summoned a demon (bennet) who waits for her to decide #if she wants to make a deal with him/what that deal will be. eventually in a moment of weakness she asks him to love her in exchange for #her mortal body. thus begins a contentious friendship. he is inordinately kind to her. kinder than anyone has ever been. but at some #unspoken point in the future. he will consume her body. #C plot -> Bennet’s father (the devil) has begun the process of the apocalypse. he has to figure out where his allegiances lie and what #his feelings are towards his sister (Tilney) and his discarded mother are before it’s too late #DID IT FIGURED IT OUT