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kasagia · 5 months

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Between the bookshelves

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x fem! non-grisha! reader Summary: It was so easy for you to fall for the Black General. It took him one visit to the library in the Grand Palace to catch your eye and make you fantasise about him - a dangerous, mysterious ancestor of the Black Heretic. But that was all that could happen between you two... fantasy, daydreaming, or dreaming at midnight in the privacy of your chamber. He was the strongest of all Grishas, and you… you were just a librarian woman. But maybe your fantasies and huge/little crush on Darkling can turn into something much more? Requested by: @dreampissybaby It took me ages, but I hope you'll like it! 😅🩵🖤 Word Count: 8,2k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

You put the books on the shelves, staring at the landscape outside the window. It was winter. The snow fell slowly, glistening in the sunlight. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the shadows slowly taking over the part of the library you were in. It was only when they blocked the view through the window, creating a black curtain, that you realised you were no longer alone.

You squealed, surprised, as your back was suddenly turned to the shelf and pinned against it as a certain man crashed his lips into yours hungrily, giving you no time to say anything.

You moaned into General Kirigan's mouth and tangled your hands in his snow-covered hair as he held you trapped between his strong, well-built body and the bookshelf, tasting you greedily with a passion you had never felt before. And each brush of his lips against yours only felt more intense.

"I was thinking about you for a whole blody month. I couldn't sit through a single meeting without thinking about those enticing lips and the things I want to do to you when I finally return." he whispers, kissing your forehead.

He strokes your cheeks tenderly with his thumbs and studies your face carefully, looking for any changes that may have occurred in the month he's been away.

"You came back earlier. I didn't even hear any sounds of horses from the courtyard or whispers among the maids that you were back with your Grishas." you say, stroking his hair messed by the air. You notice that he still has a few snowflakes in them and giggle at how this dangerous man looks so cute with the snow in his hair, black cloak, and red nose.

"I could have left Ivan in charge of the rest and set off earlier myself. They should be here tomorrow. I left them as I saw the walls of Little Palace, and actually, I saw them in the distance from the tower when I was running here." he admits, and you're pretty sure the blush on his cheeks isn't due to the change in temperature. However, you decided to ignore it and not tease him about his obvious embarrassment.

"Come. We need to warm you up. We wouldn't want the general to get sick and be more grumpy to his soldiers only because he wanted to see a girl earlier."

"But what a beauty she is."

Before you can even answer him, his now slightly warmer lips crash against yours, stealing your breath. You moan as he pushes you onto the windowsill. Your back, cushioned by his hand, hits the cool window as he kisses you, as if trying to make up for the month of separation with his one (or maybe more) kiss.

"Next time, I'm taking you with me so I can claim what's mine whenever I want." he pulls away for a moment to whisper before capturing your lips again. You smile, pulling him closer to you by the black fur on his coat.

"Aleksander..." you moan as your lips part and his hand travels under your dress, caressing your leg and making you shiver, both from the cold air and the electric touch of his skin on yours.

"So distracting, so teasing... my little Otkazat'sya, who is constantly occupying my every thought when I should be focusing on the possible war to come. The saints know you will be my sweet undoing."

Your hands land on the collar of his kefta under his coat, and you slowly move them along his chest, unbuttoning his kefta and shirt. You are caressing every newly exposed bit of his skin with your hands, not ashamed of the desire to touch, and caressing every single part of your general...

"Your man came here." your colleague taps you on the shoulder, taking you out of your 'reading', and nods towards the main aisle.

You turn your gaze away from the book, which was only your excuse anyway, thanks to which you could freely indulge in your fantasies. You take a quick glance at the general.

"Shush!" you hiss at her, checking if the general didn't hear her. You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw that his attention was completely focused on the bookshelves. "He might have heard you. Besides, he's not my man."

"You better tell him that. Every time he comes here, he asks specially about you. That means something." she teases you as you put the book back on the shelf.

"That means nothing. It's just that I know most of the books on military tactics from my father and brother, so only from me he can find out where exactly it is. I doubt anyone else in this library would understand which book he's looking for." you brush her comment off and walk over to the general, who was looking at the titles of the books on the shelves.

"Good morning. How can I help you this time, general?" you smile politely, trying to fight the stupid fluttering of your heart you had around him. As well as the dirty thoughts that tormented you about this unfairly handsome man.

You thanked saints every time you talked to him, for that he wasn't a heartrender and couldn't hear your traitorous, stupid heart racing fast each time you were in his presence.

You take a moment to study his face, noticing that the dark circles under his eyes have increased slightly over the course of the week. His eyes, although still shining in their characteristic, even mischievous way, are cloudier and more tired. And if you could, you would comfort this over-busy man, or at least try to provide him with some sense of comfort.

But you can't. All you can do is watch him from a distance.

So you do so. You study every bit of his face carefully, allowing yourself to do so when he talks to you about a book, and you pretend to listen to him, right after you heard the title of the familiar book he was looking for.

After all, you didn't want to waste his time… or give him any suspicion that you were taking every possible moment to admire him.

You know that your infatuation and dreams are stupid and that nothing more will ever happen between you two than a polite conversation and maybe the exchange of a few observations about books. But you can't help but imagine how wonderful it would be to kiss his tempting lips, cup his bearded cheek in your hand, or run your hand through his dark brown hair.

Just as his soft voice is no longer heard in your ears, you come back to reality, and it takes all your strength to look away from his too-perfect (for your stupid heart's sake) face and focus on the books on the shelves.

"This is a basic position. You should have it in your book collections." you say, running your finger along the spines of the books and looking for the one he needs.

If you had turned around at that moment, you would have seen a blush spreading across his cheeks as he looked around nervously and cleared his throat, trying to think of an excuse.

"To be honest... my personal library is not kept in such an... order. It's much easier and faster to come here. A nice company is also an additional benefit, as also the opportunity to break away from reports, plans, and other annoying papers."

"And here I thought that soldiers usually kept order around themselves. Especially the general of the whole army." you tease him with a smile and hand him the book he was looking for. His fingers brush against yours briefly, making you shiver.

"I found it hard to keep everything in order in the thought process. Especially lately when so many things which are on my head."

"So I guess your library is pretty messy." you smile as you hear his soft chuckle after your comment.

Everything about this man was ethereal. Starting with his appearance and ending with the way he carried himself. With pride and power radiating from him, which made everyone show respect, awe and fear for him.

Some invisible electric force was pulling you towards him—something inexplicable that only a few people could resist. And you definitely weren't one of them.

Like a moth to a flame. - you think mockingly, knowing that everything he represented was darkness and danger. But you could see more than his shadows. Something that didn't let you put him out of your mind so easily.

"That's putting it mildly." he says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You lick your lips and nod, laughing a bit.

"Maybe you should find someone who will clean up this mess for you. It would be a shame if the general of the Second Army got lost under the piles of his own books." you say, expecting to hear another burst of laughter from him.

But that didn't happen. Instead, his gaze lingered on you, as if he was searching your eyes for some kind of answer. You stared, hypnotised, into his dark irises until he finally saw something in your eyes that made him take a step towards you.

"Are you offering?" he whispers, making you shiver as you try to hold his intense gaze.

The fact that he's close enough that you can smell his cologne, his intoxicating scent, and his warmth, which is nothing like your fantasies, makes it even harder for you to string together a coherent sentence.

"Maybe I am." you whisper back, not sure if he understood it as a statement or a question.

But judging by the way he leaned towards you, slowly closing the distance between you and your lips with each small movement, you think he rather understood your intentions...

And just when you think he's finally going to end this torment—when he's going to lean down and catch your lips in a passionate, tender kiss and pin you to the bookshelves like he already did in your dreams, too many times for you to remember—you two hear somebody calling him.

You are the first to break eye contact, shift your gaze to the shelves next to you, and step away from him, even though every cell in your body screams with the need to be close to him.

"It looks like I have to go." he says. It clears your throat and catches your eye again. His dark eyes are focused entirely on you as he decides to make his move and adds, "I shall be waiting for you tonight if you are still offering your help. I could really use it." he says, ignoring the footsteps approaching the alley.

"Well, I shall meet you then, general." you answer instantly and with a little flirtatious tone before you can think about it or get scared and change your mind.

He gives you such a wonderful, charming smile that it convinces you that he was created by the saints themselves. Your heart skips a beat as he leans down and presses a such gentle kiss to your hand that you have to focus very much to feel his lips on your skin.

"I shall be expecting you then, milaya." he says, and you think he winks at you before turning around just as one of his Grishas comes into view.

They walk away together quickly, the man explaining something to him in a hurry, but all you see is him stealing a quick glance at you before disappearing around the bend into the main alley.

"Milaya?" you whisper to yourself, frowning.

And before you can think it through, you rush to the old Ravkan dictionaries to find this concrete word he used, ready to endure your friend's teasing when you tell her you think you have a date with the general of the Second Army.

"I told you I didn't want to be disturbed." he says slightly angry, after they return from the training field, where the young Inferni have started a fight with the Squallers and started a damn fire. Aleksander frowned as he felt the soot harden on the sleeve of his kefta.

"My apologies, General, but that was an important matter." Grisha, who interrupted his conversation with Y/N, explains himself as they enter his chambers, straight to the war room.

"Next time, you can only come to me if a Little Palace is set on fire, not some field. And even then, it will be better if you find some tidemaker to extinguish the fire. Understand, Captain?" he asks madly and sits down at his desk. He sighs when he sees the new papers that Ivan must have delivered to him in his absence.

"Yes, sir." he sees Grisha nods nervously. He rubs his eyes and sighs, seeing that his hands are also black with soot.

"Bring Fedyor here. And Ivan. I need someone reasonable." he mutters and gets up to go to the bathroom and get rid of any traces of fighting the fire. "And make sure the kids show up for their night training with Baghra. That should calm them down and keep them busy... at least for a while."

Grisha salutes him and leaves as quickly as he can. Aleksander rolls his eyes and looks in the mirror, cleaning his face. He returns to his desk and looks over the reports Ivan brought. After a few minutes, his heartrenders appear.

"You wanted to see us, sir." Ivan says this, standing in front of his desk. Fedyor is next to him, looking at the general. He frowns at seeing the messy state he is in.

"I have a task for you." he says, and he signs some orders. "First of all, please explain to me how the Little Palace was almost set on fire when I was only a few minutes away?" Ivan swallows and wants to say something, but Fedyor comes first.

"Zoya is on a mission. The kids felt too... carefree in someone else's care. But I assure you, General, that after today, it is unlikely to happen again. I heard them say on their way here that they had never been so afraid in their lives. Besides, they're just kids. Good thing the tidemakers were close. As soon as Zoya returns, she will definitely teach them a life lesson."

He nods, deciding to deal with this matter another time. "Were you able to gather the information I needed, Fedyor?"

"Yes, sir. Y/F/F. These flowers are waiting in the conservatory; you can pick them up and give them to her whenever you want." before Aleksander can scold him for making such bold assumptions, Fedyor continues. "Oh, right, I forgot. David is finishing the necklace you ordered. With her favourite gem, of course. But we have a serious problem, General. People are talking."

"They always talk. What exactly do they have in mind this time?" he clears his throat, trying to ignore how the heartrender so easily suggests his blatant infatuation of Y/N. He decides to remain silent. After all, Fedyor was the best... informant regarding Y/N. And his help was necessary in this case...

Although he liked Ivan's company more, it was Fedyor who was mainly responsible for them both being together, and that means he was more useful in his little mission. How two heartrenders got together—even Darkling didn't know exactly—but he desperately needed all of Fedyor's advice after his own attempts to woo you had failed.

He may have been handsome and had many women vying for his attention, but since Luda... he hadn't really courted anyone. No one was important enough. No one had broken through the wall of his heart created by Luda's death. When he decided that he had buried too many people close to him to endure another death, another loss.

And then you appeared. An ordinary human, not even Grisha. And he fell for you fast, hard, and suddenly, and despite his better judgement, he gave in to this need to be in your presence. And every day, he wanted much more. Irronicaly, he was too nervous around you to finally make a move. Or at least one that will be clear to you and provide him with your… reciprocity of his feelings.

And Fedyor had too much fun helping him to 'get a girl'. Just like teasing the general, who put up with his taunts as long as his advice worked. At least Ivan was here to stop his lover when he walked on the thin line of the general's patience.

"They are… interesting why our general is so often a guest in the Grand Palace… a library, to be precise."

"And? Is it something wrong? Can't I use Ravka's book resources?

It was a weak excuse. Aleksander knew this. But she won't admit his feelings... especially not to Fedyor.

"It's not like I'm going there just to look at her." he adds, mumbling under his breath as his attention is fully focused on the report in front of him. He wanted to finish this as soon as possible to prepare for your visit.

"And with all due respect, moi soverenyi, what exactly are you doing there?"

Aleksander hears Ivan kick Fedyor in the ankle as Heartrender asks him this question. He smiles to himself and finishes writing the last report.

"None of your worries." he says and hands the completed papers with his directions and orders to Ivan. "I'm unavailable for the rest of the day. Only matters of the utmost importance, and I only accept these messages from you two; keep any incompetent soldiers away from me; I had enough of them today."

His thoughts wander back to that moment where he almost managed to kiss Y/N. If it weren't for that damn soldier… his mind wanders to all the possibilities of how his visit could end.

"It really worked? She comes here?" Aleksander wonders if he should be offended by the incredulous tone he used.

"She is. That's why I hope I won't be disturbed anymore. At least not with trivial matters that can be taken care of without my interference and that I can find out about the next morning."

"Does she know she's staying until the morning, sir?"

"Fedyor." Ivan hisses at him, furious, unsure how much longer the general can take it.

Aleksander swallows, embarrassed. He can't help but wonder if you'll be as willing as he is to extend your overnight visit into the next day… or two.

"General, your heart is beating faster. Do you need any help?"

Fedyor smiles, half-malicious, half-happy to see the general melt at every thought of you. You completely swept him off his feet, and he didn't even have a second to defend himself. It was refreshing to see him so... lost in his feelings for you.

"Ivan, get your other half out of my sight before I send him to West Ravka, right through the fold, without any light or Inferni with him." Fedyor tries his hardest to stop smiling at his words. Ivan covers him and nods respectfully to the general.

"Yes, moi soverenyi."

As the door closes behind them, Fedyor laughs softly at Ivan. "Who would have thought that he of all people would choose Otkazat'sya? The one who never stayed around non-Grishas longer than necessary?"

"Do not be stupid. He definitely needs her for something else."

"You yourself heard his heartbeat. He fell head-over-heels. I have to tell Genya to make him a new kefta... preferably two, one male and one female, matching, you know, just in case."

Fedyor smiles as he sees people cleaning the corridors of the Little Palace. Their general was so obvious about his feelings that it hurt. The opinion of a heartless general effectively covered up his obvious actions.

"Why? She's not a Grisha. The general knows better than to pursue her."

"My dear, in the state our general is in now, he hardly cares about the fact that she doesn't have any powers. Besides, I know of marriages between Otkazat'sya and Grishas. There are few of them, but thanks to the sharing of life energy, the couple lives happily ever after, as long as Grisha's one doesn't die."

"Marraige? Don't go that far into the future. Even if he feels something for her, he will get over it."

"You will remember my words when he asks you to be his best man. Come on, honey, let's see what we can do for our general." Fedyor laughs and pulls Ivan towards the conservatory.

You walk through the corridors of the Little Palace, led by one of the Oprichniks, to the general's chambers. You feel weird coming here. He was usually the one who always visited you. At different times of the day in the library.

Involuntarily, you remember one of his rare nighttime visits.

You were alone in the library. You sat curled up in an armchair by the fire with a blanket around you.

You liked spending evenings in the library. It was completely silent then; you could listen to the crackling of the burning wood and get completely lost in your book.

However, lately, your thoughts have been turning more and more often around a certain general of the Second Army. Hence the book that was on your lap. "The Lives of Saints."

You've read most of the books about Grishas. About how they use their powers. About their little science. They fascinated you. Like Kirigan. At first, you were afraid of the general. He was, after all, a Black General, a descendant of the Black Heretic. But there was something... defenceless about him. Humane. Not identifying with the terrible legend circulating about him. And that little element of the common human in him drew you to this mysterious man.

You smirk to yourself as you hear the quiet footsteps you've learned to recognise as he lets you hear that he's close. You remember quite vividly how you shouted at him when he snuck up on you and almost dropped the stack of books you were holding. You don't know who was more surprised then—you or him.

"A little late for a night visit." you say, closing your book and shifting your gaze to the man walking towards you.

The smile disappears from your face when you see that he has dark bags under his eyes and is much paler than usual.

"Do I look that bad?" he asks with a laugh at your reaction. The blush on his cheeks and his less confident step make it clear that he didn't take your behaviour as carelessly as he showed.

"You look like death. What happened?" you ask, worried as he sits down in the armchair across from you.

"Tough week. I will be good. I had to come here. I... I haven't looked here for a while."

Little did you know that he wanted to say that he hadn't come for you. That he didn't come to check on you even though he wanted to, but he just didn't have time. That he had been watching you at every opportunity, hiding in the shadows. He was stopping at the library to simply look at you each time the king called him to confer with him about a possible war with the Fjerdans, which thankfully he had managed to avoid.

Now that the vision of Grishas' blood being spilled was no longer hanging over his head, he had come here—to the only shelter he had in this forgotten by the saints country on even a world.

He came to you.

"I noticed." you say and give him such a beautiful, comforting smile that this week of fighting against the king and the general of the First Army is worth the price of his nerves, sleepless nights, and the effort he put into avoiding war. This smile is a sufficient reward for all his efforts to maintain peace and security.

For Grishas, his mind screamed; he did it for his people.

For you, whispered a small voice in his head, coming from the remains of his shattered over the centuries heart. He did this to keep you safe—the only piece of his humanity he allowed himself to have. The only ramains of a man he used to be.

"You did?" he asks, swallowing. He watches you carefully, assessing your every little move and reaction.

He doesn't trust you yet... but he feels that he is getting closer to completely losing himself in your presence, which is soothing his battered soul like anything else in this world, and the warmth that radiates from you. If he didn't know you, he would think you were Inferni.

"Mhm..." you nod and start telling him about a book you read recently that he might have liked.

And he really wants to listen to you. Your voice soothed his frayed nerves and calmed the anxiety he had felt over the past few days, but as soon as he allows himself, as his head rests against the armchair, he begins to feel tired as well. And your wonderful voice, the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace, and the familiar smell of your perfume mixed with the smell of books lull him to sleep better than any lullaby.

You smiled, watching him relax in the chair and slowly fall asleep. You quietly got up from your seat and walked over to the fireplace to add a log to the fire. You took the blanket you covered yourself with and walked over to Kirigan.

Just as you were about to cover him, a strong pair of arms swept you off your feet, leaving you in the general's lap while he snuggled into you.

“So warm…” you blush when you hear his half-asleep whisper, but you don't question his actions.

You cover the two of you with a blanket, and after he settles his head comfortably on your shoulder, with his nose gently nuzzling your neck, you can't help but run a hand through his hair. And you almost moan at how soft they are. If you could, you would stroke him at every chance you got. But now you just leave a light kiss on his temple, trying to fight the hope rising in your chest, which tells you that maybe your feelings aren't so hopeless and unreciprocable after all.

Because what other reason could there be for this man, who was completely out of your league and who is currently clinging to you like it's the most normal thing in the world, than that he has feelings for you?

As if this strong, powerful man needed a shelter and could find it only in your arms...

You never talked about that night, nor did it ever happen again, but it was one of your favourite memories with him.

Surprisingly, he always hits your shifts. And you wanted to believe that it wasn't a coincidence that you two met so often.

And that milaya... he didn't call every woman a sweet girl, did he? No. There had to be at least a hint of attraction in him for you. And you were so desperate for him that you would take any scrap of affection he gave you—any chance to see how it would really be to be loved by him. Even if this closeness was to last only for one night.

He was nervous.

The hundreds-year-old shadow summoner was nervous. And not with the upcoming fight, battle, and important meeting with the king, in which he had to use all his manipulation techniques and lies.

He was nervous before meeting with you.

Baghra would laugh at him and beat him for being distracted by mortals. For letting his stupid heart take control again and naively allowing himself to feel something for a woman who would pass so quickly that he wouldn't have time to blink.

But does that stop him? Of course not. He always takes a losing cause and always makes bad choices.

But how could he not, when you were the only light that had appeared in a very long time that he spent utterly alone in the darkness of his war room, still planning and still thinking about how to provide all Grishas with a safe future in which they wouldn't worry about their lives anymore? How could he just ignore you when you were lightening brighter than the sun summoner herself?

A gentle knock on the door sent a shiver of both excitement and fear through him.

You were already here.

"Come in." he says, trembling with anticipation as he waits for you to enter his chambers for the first time.

However, his face grew grumpy when, instead of your silhouette in some beautiful (preferably black) dress, he saw Fedyor enter his chambers.

"What are you doing here? And what is that all for?" he asks, confused, as Fedyor places a vase with a bouquet of your favourite flowers on his war table, a basket with wine and delicacies you like, and goes to light more candles in the room.

"Things that will come in handy. Good night, General."

Fedyor leaves before he can react. He stares at the room for a moment and laughs to himself, shaking his head. You were going to be his undoing. People will see how... soft he is getting because of you. But somehow it doesn't bother him, at least as long as the prospect of holding you in his arms was within his reach thanks to it. He would put up with Fedyor's banter and whispered gossip within the ranks of the Second Army if it meant having you by his side.

The soft creak of his door draws his attention. His gaze is fully focused on the entrance, his breath catching in his throat as he waits to be blessed with the sight of you. Maybe he could afford this one weakness? To allow himself a moment of blissful peace in the constant, lonely war that he waged for the safety of every Grisha.

The curse almost leaves his mouth when someone else appears instead of you. This time, Alina. In a nightgown, loose hair, and an uncertain expression on her face. And although he really needed her in his plans, he couldn't help but damn her for her timing. It looked like he didn't deserve time free from his duties.

"Alina? How can I help you?" he asks instead, glancing briefly at the clock and wondering how politely and quickly he can dismiss her so that you won't see her leaving on your way to his chambers.

Ironically, what Alina would think about his encounter with you at night didn't matter to him at all. But it should be the other way around. After all, he was going to seduce her and use her power for his plans.

You weren't supposed to mean that much to him.

And yet he was there, standing in front of the Sun Summoner he had dreamed to find for so long, but now he was only wondering how to get rid of her.

"Am I... disturbing you?"

As always, he thought, but quickly shook his head.

"Not at all. What's the matter?" he asks in a polite tone, trying not to get irritated by the way she looks around his chambers. Her cheeks blush slightly, and her eyes glow in the candlelight.

He wonders how you will react to the scenery Fedyor has created. Maybe he should light more candles? Or dust off his old record player and put a record of slow, classical music in it. He knew it would help him. Many times, he caught you dancing alone in the abandoned alley of the library. There were many times when he joined you so that you wouldn't have to dance with the air... although the main reason that encouraged him was the opportunity to hold you in his arms.

He doesn't pay attention to what Alina is saying to him. He only catches the way she says his name, and he can't help but let his thoughts fly to you again.

Considering how often he was in this library, he should have known by now where to look for the books he wanted. However, he was glad that none of the librarians commented on it, and they immediately showed him where he could find you.

However, the reputation of a cruel Grishas' general had its benefits. No one dared to question him.

As he walks through the library, he smiles and thinks about you. How you weren't afraid to put him in his place when you didn't like something.

At first you were just a means to an end, then a pretty thing to look at, then over time you became a challenge, and now... he couldn't go a day without seeing your face or hearing your voice.

He swallowed and shook his head. NO. He didn't fall that low. Not for an ordinary woman, a mortal.

A mocking voice in his head that closely resembles Baghra's words mocks him as he tries to deceive himself. How weak he is.

And he would probably have turned back and tried to save his naive heart if he hadn't heard a familiar, slow song playing from the gramophone.

He froze, watching you dance to the piano sounds coming from the record player, and put the books back on the shelves, rearranging them in order. The skirt moved with your movements, and he wanted nothing more than to place his hands on your waist and pull you as close to him as possible, letting his hands trace your curves as he stared into your eyes.

So he did. Allowing himself to do what he wanted and forgetting for a moment what he should have done.

He walks over to you quietly and places his hands on your waist, turning you towards him and lowering you, keeping his hand on your back in reassurance that he won't let go of you.

"Kirigan!" you scream at him, scared by his sudden action.

You cling to him, and he might have laughed at your adorable reaction if the fake name he gave himself didn't feel like a slap in the face when you said it. And then, as you stare at each other without saying a word, he realises that he wants the only name that leaves your wonderful, tempting lips to be his real one.

"Please... call me Aleksander." he whispers, and somehow this was something more intimate and meaningful than all the flowers and furtive glances you had received for him. Than all the talks you have had. Than all the kisses on the hand, cheek, and hugs you had exchanged.

"Aleksander." you say back, whispering it, like it was something sacred.

His heart sinks further. It does a flip when he hears how gently you say his real name, the name he kept away from the world and close to his heart, only for himself.

He makes himself vulnerable to you.

And instead of freaking out, all he can do is look at you as if you were his only anchor, keeping him sane in his crazy life full of worries, fear, and anxiety. Your eyes shine up at him, reminding him of the stars—the stars that for a long time have guided him in his darkness and made him blind to everything else around him but you.

He was cursed. There was no turning back. He knew it the moment he heard his real name on your lips. And if it weren't for the damn pile of books falling with a loud bang, causing him to go into defence mode and hide you behind him, he would have kissed you right there and then.

He remembers perfectly that day. And he cursed every moment you decided not to use it. As if he cared who might hear it. As long as it came out of your alluring lips, he didn't care who heard it. He knew it would be the end of him to hear you scream it loud in the darkness of his chambers.

He doesn't notice when Alina approaches him. Or when she places her hand on his. At least not until a ball of light appears around them. He looks fascinated by Alina's possibilities and her power.

Alina leans towards him. His gaze shifts to her. He wonders if he should let her kiss him. But then the image of you comes to his mind, and he knows he has no choice but to push her away. He can't do this. Not when he knows he could be kissing you; taste your lips on his instead of hers. And the realisation makes him even more aware of how hopelessly he has fallen for you. To reject the Sun Summoner herself.

And that's when he notices you standing in the doorway.

"Y/N? Y/N, wait!" he pushes Alina's hand away and shouts after you as you walk away, closing the door.

He leaves a confused Alina speechless as he runs after you. When he's in the hallway, he sees no sign of you. He curses, realising what an uncomfortable situation you found him in with the sun summoner.

This will be difficult for him to explain. But damn him if he doesn't try his best.

"Don't." he stops his oprichniki from chasing you. You needed a moment for yourself. He knows that chasing after you would only make things worse... even if that was all he wanted to do right now. "Just make sure she will come back safetly to her chamber. If something happens to her, you will suffer the consequences. Understood?"

"Yes, general."

"That's all." they bow to him and leave. He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Aleksander?" Alina's hand is on his shoulder as she turns him to face her.

And maybe, if they had met a few years earlier—before he met you—he would have allowed himself to take the opportunity to get the sun summoner for himself. But now... all he wants is you.

"You should go back to your chamber." he says coldly, returning to his room.

Only to take his black kefta. Just because he couldn't talk to you doesn't mean he couldn't watch you to make sure you were okay. Maybe, thanks to you, he will figure out how to explain all this to you.

You were stupid. And naive.

You think angrily as you clean the library floor with a broom. If anyone noticed that you started cleaning again as a way to release your negative emotions, they did not comment on it. And good. You were a ticking bomb today.

Honestly, you could have seen it coming. Him and the Sun Summoner. They were perfect for each other. In every book, they would end up together, and you would just be a supporting character.

The less important one.

It's good that you realised this before you let yourself do with him something stupid, before you got to know how his lips tasted, how it was to lay with his arms around you... Although... you guess he got under your skin and into your everyday life too deeply for you to simply forget about him.

Especially when he wouldn't leave you alone.

"You can't avoid me." he says, walking out of the alley. You almost run into him with a broom and for a moment, you feel the urge to hit him with it. But then you remember that you didn't actually promise each other anything. You were nothing to him. Only a librarian. An ordinary person. At best, a friend.

"I'm not." you say it coldly and try to move past him.

"You are." he says, blocking your way. You lift your head to look at him defiantly. All he does is grab your hands and take the broom out of your hands. You suddenly feel vulnerable… as if the broom could somehow protect you from the shadow summoner and your feelings for him. "Please. I just want to talk."

"How can I help you, general?" you ask him in an emotionless tone.

He sighs, but you can see from the look in his eyes that he won't give up that easily. But you also don't want to get involved in something that is doomed to failure. Men like them didn't end up with women like you. Not with someone so… ordinary.

"That's not how it looked like."

"No? You seemed… quite enjoyed your closeness to her. Besides, it is not my business. You can do whatever you want. With whoever… If you don't need my help finding a book, then I should go now."

"No, wait. Please." he grabs your arm and takes a step towards you, refusing to let you just walk away from him.

"Do you call her milaya too?" you can't help but ask him this question in a tone full of resentment, anger, and bitterness.

His reaction surprises you. Instead of responding to your ridiculous jealousy with anger or a comment as cruel as yours, he… smiles. The bastard has the nerve to enjoy how bad you feel.

"Nevermind. Just…forget about it." you say, trying to break free from his grip, but he won't let you go—not even a step away.

After a moment, you feel him pressing you against the bookshelves. His nose brushes lightly against yours, and your lips are closer together than ever. He breathes heavily, his dark, almost black eyes staring into yours as he tries to stop himself from simply kissing every thought that isn't him out of you. You look at him, waiting; you don't know what. Every inner moral battle in him is settled by your quiet whisper:

"Aleksander?"

He's losing it. All the control he had gained over hundreds of years. He leans down and connects your lips in a long-awaited kiss. At first, he tries to be slow and gentle. He caresses your cheek affectionately and carefully places his hand on your waist.

Your moan changes all his plans.

He grips your waist tighter, bringing you as close to him as possible. He tangles his other hand in your hair, deepening the kiss and taking in all your whimpers. And Aleksander, for the first time in his long life, feels like he's in heaven.

By simply touching you. By simply kissing you.

He pushes away all his thoughts about breaking you and about defiling your sweet and pure person with his darkness. But he can't stop.

Not when you respond so eagerly to his kisses. Not when you pull him as close to you as possible by his hair and kefta. Not when he feels the same lust and desire for you that he has for you. Not when his wildest dreams are coming true.

He pulls away as he feels you slowly running out of air. He gives you just enough space to breathe but still stays as close to you as he can, resting his forehead against yours and pressing a kiss there. Both of his hands roam over your figure, and he curses at how delicate and otherworldly you feel under his fingertips. Like you always should have belonged right here, in his arms, in his hands.

The saints created you for him as his eternal trouble, as his baine of existence. To sweep him off his feet. To question any decisions he ever made. To prove to him that all his plans will be ruined and that his priorities don't matter when it comes to choosing between them and you.

"I… I want… I want it to be your business. I want you to care about me… just as I care about you too, moya milaya. My one and only." he whispers, pulling away from you enough that he can look into your eyes.

He strokes your cheek tenderly, deciding he doesn't want to spend another second missing you, your touch, and your presence. Holding himself back from kissing and chereshing you as you should be.

"And how can you possibly care about me? I'm… just me. Otkazat'sya. I can't summon the sun, shadows, or anything. I can't heal or manipulate hearts. I can't composite materials such as metal, glass, textiles, and chemicals. I'm not Grisha. I'm nothing special."

"Do you think I don't know it? Do you think that meant anything to my stupid heart the day I first saw you? That after our first conversation, I gave a damn about anything, but how is your laugh so hypnotic? How can I simply spend the day just looking at you or listening to your sweet voice, talking excitedly about every single book you've read? I know it makes no sense, but... isn't that what it looks like? How is it supposed to be? To fall for someone even knowing that you shouldn't? Even knowing that it's something doomed to fall from the beginning?"

"I suppose that's not how a love confession should look like, Aleksander." you laugh a little and hearing his name on your lips again gives him hope that he needs to fully open up.

"Maybe not. But we are not in the story. I speak from my heart, with my own words, because… nothing I ever knew can be compared to what I feel for you since the time we know each other. You attracted me at first, but… with time, I understand it isn't just some attraction. It is something deeper. More personal. You understand me like no one else has before, so don't stand there and pretend there is no special link between us, because this… this is everything that keeps me sane. With so many wars I have to fight, so many plans I have to put into action, and so many sacrifices I have to make… I shouldn't think about you… and yet it is everything I can do each time I leave your presence. You became a part of me… best part of me that I have ever had. And I know I will probably lose you in time, but… I can't imagine being without you. To go my day without speaking to you, seeing you, or laughing with you. And if you let me… I would like to keep you close for as long as I can. As long as you will have me."

He says all of this while looking at you with so much earnestness and passion that you have a hard time saying no to him or entering into his speech.

He sees your doubts. And he's so afraid of them that he decides to kiss you again, to try to bribe you, to make up your mind in his favour with the feeling of his lips on yours.

This time, you pull him in, placing your hands around his neck. He shivers as you play with the strands of his hair, and he knows that if he doesn't get you, the only ray of light in his grey existence, he has nothing to lose. Nothing will stop him from becoming a monster.

"I'm not so... open-hearted. Time taught me to keep my feelings to myself. But with... with you, I feel like the man I used to be. And I really like to be him again with you by my side."

"And... what about Alina?" you ask hesitantly, unable to get used to the idea that he might be… that he might choose you.

"You are the only one I can see." he whispers. He steals another kiss from you. This time, he presses you closer to him. You feel his muscular body under his kefta pressing against you, and you feel yourself slowly turning into putty in his hands. The bastard grins gladly as he feels you trembling.

"But for how long?" you try to hold on to one last rational thought before the warmth of the moment you share with him overwhelms you, and you become undeniably his. However, your internal struggle is just a matter of decency. You both know who won anyway.

"Eternity." he whispers against your lips before kissing you hungrily, losing control as he finally gives in to his desires, touching and caressing you as he wants with your more than willing consent. "Mine." he murmurs into your neck, pressing kisses there, his stubble teasing your sensitive skin as you moan at the feeling of his hot lips that you've imagined more than you care to admit.

"Mine." you respond, tangling your hands in his hair and pulling him in for another kiss.

Feeling his lips against you, his hands roaming over your body, caressing you, pulling you as close to him as possible, and his skin that you explore with your fingertips while unbuttoming his kefta as his shadows surround you, hiding the two of you from the sight of others who might be looking for you between the bookshelves, is making you realise that maybe, after all, you were the main character… at least in his story.

And that was all you could ever ask for.

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hanafubukki · 2 months

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What if Malleus isn’t the reason Silver succumbs to his sleeping curse?

I keep thinking this but I find the whole Malleus somehow causing Silver to fall into a deep sleep (either by his own hand or indirectly as a result of his actions) too predictable. 🤔

I feel it is something that we all kind of expect because of the animated and live action movies. The more I think about it the more I wonder if Yana will go this route that everyone kind of expects her too.

And if we know Yana, she’s full of surprises if the previous books have anything to say about it. So I can’t help but wonder who or what can cause Silver to fall asleep.

Yes, Malleus has the spindle as his staff, but his main symbol isn’t a spindle/spinning wheel is it? No, he’s a dragon.

So I can’t help but wonder who else can cause Silver to fall asleep?

One name stuck out:

Maleficia Draconia

Despite the fact she’s being mentioned more often, she has been MIA and she also has more than enough reason to curse/cause Silver to fall asleep.

She, as far as we know, might not know Silver’s birth origins. She also has more than enough reason to hate humans. Yes, there is a truce. But you can’t tell me that she won’t harbor some ill will towards the murderers of her daughter or their kin.

And you know what suddenly came to mind? Mama Shroud was able to hack into those who fell asleep and see their dreams.

Who’s to say Maleficia Draconia can’t do the same? Since she’s stronger than Malleus in terms of power?

What if she has already been watching? What if this opened old wounds again? Her daughter’s death and also seeing her grandchild suffering. And now? Finding out the kid of her daughter’s murderer lives.

What if she causes Silver’s cursed sleep? It would certainly explain the silence on her end.

It might seem sudden, but the shock factor is there and the emphasis of her being mentioned constantly justified.

What if, during that moment, it is Lilia’s and Malleus’ love that wakes up Silver?

And she’s shocked, the two who should hate humans and especially Silver, woke him up with their love.

And she can’t help but wonder, has she been stuck in the past this entire time?

I know this is based on conjecture, but the possibility is there.

In this way, we can combine the true love of both live action movies as well depending how they go about it too. 🤔

What if I add “What if Malleus ends up taking a hit for Silver and dies?” The dragon whose death is supposed to end the spell? The spell his grandmother sent towards Silver to kill him or put him to sleep.

What if that’s how the spell breaks? Because she tried to curse Silver and then tried to kill him?”Both then would need to be brought back.

Malleus either has to be talked down or killed. Imagine him almost getting talked down but then Silver gets cursed by his grandmother and Malleus tries to save him when his grandmother tries to do a killing blow. And it’s the tears of true love that brings Malleus and Silver back.

Malleus and Lilia who should hate humans and hate Silver love him and Malleus defending Silver and dying would be a shock to both Lilia and Granny.

Or what if Lilia blocks the killing blow and dies? And it is the true love tears of Malleus and Silver that brings him back? What if this also gives Lilia some extra time and magic? And he ends up living longer now because of it? Like how Maleficent was reborn stronger and with more powers.

I feel either scenarios would fit, but in terms of stopping Malleus, it would fit even more for him to die and be brought back. Possibly with the power to also heal Lilia or give back the power that Lilia gave him.

I just find the idea of Malleus being the cause of Silvers sleep too predictable, even though lore wise, it would make sense. But there’s so many ways they can go about it, so many twists and turns, I’m excited to see which route they end up going ☺️🥳🌺

#one of my friends went ‘holy shit’ and that made me so proud 🤣💞💞💚💚#lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #twst silver #maleficia draconia #silver vanrouge #twst malleus draconia #twst lilia vanrouge #twst maleficia #twst theory #twst theories #meleanor draconia #diasomnia #twst book 7 #twst #disney twisted wonderland

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haziwritesstuff · 3 months

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the happiest girl

But tonight, I'll be the happiest girl in the world. You'll see like it never happened.

Modern! Aemond x reader Wordcount | 1.8k Warnings | Aegon's a cheating bastard, sadness, mostly fluff.

Aegon took nothing in life serious. And your relationship with him… Was just one of those things. You loved him and you believed he loved you, to some degree at least. He just happens to love himself and his own needs more.

You were staring at the message you received on Instagram from some girl. She was claiming that she had a relationship with him. Part of you wanted to scold her but you decided against it. You always had some suspicion about it, he came home a lot later, he didn’t look at you the way he used to. Somewhere, somehow you saw it coming. But it still hurts. It feels like your heart was shattered in a million pieces and there was no one to pick them up. The apartment you shared with him did not feel the same anymore. What once was a place of happiness and comfort, is now a place of dread. Because that is what you felt right now, you dread to see him. But you had to know. Time was ticking by slowly as you were waiting for him to come home.

Finally you heard him stumble in. He wasn’t aware of anything… It was like every other day, but this one was different. You could feel a sense of foreboding, almost as if you expected it to happen, but it still hit you like a wave of bitter salt water.

As if you were drowning, struggling to keep your head above water. You saw him stumble in, drunk and unaware, yet you didn't feel rage or despair, just a deep sense of sadness and disappointment. He came towards you and sat down on the couch, still not aware that you were aware of his affair. "Hi there love," He tried to kiss you. "Don't." Your voice was cold as ice, and a chill ran through your body. He looked at you with a drunken grin and giggled. "Come on girl, it's just a little bit of fun. Lighten up!" "Aegon I know about her." Aegon's face went blank. He sat up straight and looked at you with a cold and emotionless gaze. "Her? What are you talking about?" "The woman you've been sleeping with. I've seen the messages. Don't give me any bullshit right now, I know the truth, and you know it too." Aegon swallowed – you were not supposed to find out. "I expected more from you. I thought you were better than this. But you're obviously just a coward who can't even keep his pants on. How could you do this to me, to our relationship? I trusted you and you broke it. You know what? I can't stand the sight of you right now. I'm going out. Don't expect me back."

It was cold outside, but the cold air felt refreshing after the suffocating atmosphere inside the apartment. You walked to the nearest bus stop, your tears streaming down your cheeks. You felt heartbroken and angry, and you didn't know where to go or who to turn to. All you wanted was to be held and consoled, to be taken care of and loved. But that seemed like an impossible dream, now more than ever. You wished you could turn back time and undo everything that had happened, but you knew that wasn't possible.

You suddenly felt your phone buzzing. Aegon sent you a text message, "Please come home. I want to talk. We can fix this." You read the text message and hesitated. On the one hand, you wanted to believe that he was really sorry and would change his ways. But on the other, you knew that deep down inside, he had been cheating on you for a very long time, so no matter what he said, nothing could really change that. And in all honesty you had nothing left to say. You sent him a text message back, "Don't contact me again. I'm not coming home. We're done." He responded with the usual, "I'm sorry, I promise I can change. Just give me another chance, I can't lose you. I will do anything for you."

"You're not the one who gets to cry." Tears started to fall again. You turned off your phone because you didn't want to hear any more of his excuses and lies. You stood at the bus stop, trying to calm yourself down, but all you could do was cry.

You wanted to have a drink to numb your pain and clear your head. You walked to a nearby bar and walked inside, taking a seat at the bar. You waited for the bartender to come over and order a glass of wine. “Put it on my tab.” A voice behind you spoke. Your eyes widened in surprise when you saw Aemond. You looked at him for a moment, surprised that he was here and that he was the one who offered to pay for your drink. "Aemond... What are you doing here?" He smiled at you, "I was just here having a drink with some friends when I saw you. I saw that you looked troubled, so I decided to come over and see if you're alright. I didn't think I'd see you here..." “Oh ehm… Aegon and I… We broke up…” Aemond's expression changed, becoming more empathetic. "I see... I'm so sorry to hear that. It must've been really hard for you. Do you need someone to talk to?" He didn't seem surprised, not at all. Aemond took a step closer to you and put his right arm around your back. You could feel the warmth of his body and it felt calming. He asked, "Can I tell you something?” You nod at him, you've always liked Aemond. He was different but in a good way.

He took a sip from his drink and looked at you. "I know we've been friends for a long time, but I can't lie to you. I've always had feelings for you. I know that's not something you probably want to hear right now, but I couldn't just keep it to myself. I understand though if you're not interested in me the same way, but if you will, let me comfort you, just this one time. You need someone right now, and I'd like to be the one you turn to."

You were speechless. Aemond continued, "I know it's unfair to confess my love for you in this situation, but I didn't want to miss this opportunity. I've always had a huge crush on you, and maybe this was the universe's way of letting us know that we needed each other. I know this may not be the right time for us to begin a relationship, but if you're open to that idea, I would be more than happy to be here for you and support you through this difficult time."

It took you a while to progress all of that information. You finally find the courage to speak up, "Aemond, it's really kind of you to say all of that. I can't say I'm not tempted to take you up on your offer, but I'm still a bit shocked by everything that happened. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for a relationship right now, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be cared for and consoled. Could... could we spend some time together, just for tonight?"

Aemond smiled warmly at you, "Absolutely. I totally understand that you're in a fragile state right now, and the most important thing is for you to heal and move on from this situation. I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for. But I do want to be there for you and help you through this difficult time. Is it okay if I sit here with you for a little while? I promise I won't force any unwanted advances on you."

You suddenly realized that if you'd asked Aemond out, instead of allowing Aegon to charm you, everything would have been different. You would never have gone through the heartbreak and disappointment, and you would have had someone who truly loved and respected you all this time. The thought of what could've been started to make you feel a bit down, but Aemond's presence always had a comforting effect on you. You couldn't have asked for a better person to comfort you in this very moment.

"Tell me something funny, Aemond. I'm in desperate need of some laughter." "Hmm, something funny..." Aemond thought for a moment, and then he smiled and said, "What do you get when you cross a banana with an elephant?" "Oh god... I didn't think you'd actually try to tell me a joke!" "Well, I can't say I'm a professional comedian, but I thought it would help lighten the mood. So, what do you get when you cross a banana with an elephant?" You had such a hard time keeping yourself serious. Aemond wasn't a natural funny person but seeing him try this way... Made you feel a certain way. "Just wait for it..." Aemond looked at you with a smirk, enjoying making you laugh. "Okay, ready? Here's the punchline - you get an 'eleph-nana'!"

And for the first time in a while the tears coming from your eyes weren't from hurt or sadness, they were from laughter. The two of you sat at the bar for a while, laughing and joking and enjoying each other's company. After a while, Aemond gently placed his hand on your arm. "Would you mind if we left the bar and went somewhere more private?" Your eyes lit up when he private, "I'd love that."

You could feel the cool air on your face and you saw the stars in the sky, they were exceptionally bright tonight. Aemond took you by the hand and led you to a secluded spot, far from any noise or distractions. He stopped in front of you and looked into your eyes. "Can I ask you something?" "Yeah, you can ask me anything." "Can I kiss you?" You shouldn't want it but you wanted it so badly, you wanted him to make you feel again. “I… Yes.” You whispered. The moment you said that, Aemond quickly leaned forward and kissed you deeply. You could feel his lips against yours and the warmth of his body. It felt amazing, as if all the pain from before had just disappeared. His hands caressed your face and neck as you embraced one another. You were completely swept up in the moment, and there was nothing else besides the two of you. You could feel the rush of hormones and emotions, your heart was beating fast and your breathing was shallow. The feeling was almost overwhelming, but you wanted more. Aemond pulled you closer and his lips pressed against yours with more passion. Your hands ran through his hair and you held him tightly, as if you didn't want the kiss to ever end. Aemond broke the kiss, "Would you like to come to my apartment?" Your heart raced as you looked into his eyes and nodded your head, unable to speak.

But tonight, I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. You’ll see like it never happened.

#aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond fluff #aemond one eye #modern aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen x oc #modern aemond targaryen x reader #modern aemond x you

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shaisimp · 3 months

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Stalker Fyodor Dostoevsky

(20th post. Art credits to @ nocturnalcm. Slight TW for slight aggressiveness and violence+actual stalking. Should I make p2?)

A stalker. A psychopath. A madman. That's what he is. You swore you've been feeling so uneasy for the past few...years?

You brushed it off thinking you were just paranoid. But no, that isn't the case now.

The moment you had locked your front door, you swore someone was following you.

And there he is, creepily smiling at your window.

Your heartbeat was beating real fast, feeling frozen after you had just locked and closed your door and he's just there..smiling and grinning in a not so friendly..way. Atleast he isn't acting that hostile..Yet?

Your breathing also started to grow a tad bit quick, feeling helpless despite how he's outside. Its like he's so close, yet far away..

He's not moving, still grinning like a madman. He's been outside of your window for a good while and he's just...looking at you? Your breathing gets faster and faster and you're starting to hyperventilate now. It's too much...what is he doing?

Is he there just to scare you? He's not like the yanderes you've read about who act instantly...maybe he just wants you to know he's here? You're scared but too petrified to move from your place.

This is a scary and horrible experience. Those yandere stereotypes you had read wasn't like this at all. He's an actual stalker that naturally has an uneasy aura..but you can't even..move an inch from your place.

What if he suddenly breaks in and started growing hostile? What if he hurts you? There's so many possible outcomes..

It suddenly hits you — what's stopping him from breaking in and hurting you? It was only a few seconds after the realization that you jumped as you heard him banging on the door.

Bang. Bang. BANG!

"Let me in!" He cries out, sounding almost friendly but there's an underlying tone of pure insanity. Your heart races. You don't know what to do.

No no..

The actual panic is kicking in, is the lock in your front door enough? You need..you must hide — anywhere! You want to move but your legs are staying still. You couldn't move at all even with such attempts, too scared to move. This is..genuine fear.

It gets worse as he starts banging against the door relentlessly now. You're shaking violently and you're frozen in place, even as you notice tears starting to run down your cheeks. He isn't going to stop, he's going to get in, you're going to lose.

You need to move now before things become worse. You NEED to hide somewhere, anywhere...otherwise that madman is going to find you and make you his.

You need-

You frantically looked around, desperately wanting to hide. Anywhere! Under the bed? Behind furnitures? Inside the closet?

The closet. The closet!

You rushed away from the living room and ran to your bedroom, locking the door there again before sliding inside the closet. Putting a hand to your mouth. You feel like your heart is going to explode any second.

You're shaking as you're hiding in the closet. The sound of the banging gets faster and louder, as if he's going to break down the door in a few more seconds.

There's a loud crash on the other side as you realize...he broke down the door? And he's coming up the stairs now. You're breathing heavily in the closet, trembling in fear. It's the most terrifying experience of your life and nobody is here to help you. You're all alone now.

Please let this all be just a dream..a nightmare you can wake up from. Your fear was so unbearable you wanted to cry but you can't make noises. You don't want him to find you. What if he'll kill you? What if he'll kidnap you? He can do anything possible.. he's already a threat.

You can hear him making his way up the stairs, his footsteps getting nearer and nearer to your room. You're trembling, you're shaking, you're in pure fear. Your hands are shaking uncontrollably and you're struggling to breathe as you're trapped in the cramped closet.

Another loud, forceful impact. One more. He makes his way into your room. You hear his footsteps now as you keep trying to control your breathing and stay as quiet as possible.

How is he so physically strong to break down..doors with ease? That's so scary.. something horrifying.. terrifying. Praying to dear god to let this be a nightmare you can wake up from.

That madman made you quietly begged forgiveness to god in a swift moment.

The footsteps get nearer as you hear the man sigh. He knows where you are. He knows you're on the closet, hiding in the dark, trembling in fear. You hear a faint knock to the closet doors, followed by a familiar...voice.

"Darling, come on out. I'm getting tired of playing this chase."

His voice is soft and gentle, like a lion trying to get you to come out of your hiding spot.

How..no..

You felt tears starting to form on your eyes. Should you come out? He isn't as hostile..his tone became soft and gentle. But what if it's a trap? What if he takes advantage on that? You can't even form a word — like a cat got your tongue.

#bungou sd #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd dostoevsky #bsd fyodor #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor x reader

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asolareclipses · 1 month

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(Previous part)

The room full of eyes burned into to him, and Nico imagined this is what ants felt like under a magnifying glass. Everyone looked at him expectantly, as if he knew everything about darkness. Something’s dark? Yeah just ask Nico he’ll definitely know. That didn’t really bother him though, because he didn’t blame them. If someone were to mention storms he’d look at Jason, probably. What bothered Nico was the fear that lay behind some of their eyes, a traitor was in camp, one hiding in darkness. It was only human to be suspicious.

“…I’m not sure what it is.” Nico said, it was a half truth. He had a hollow feeling that he knew who was behind this chaos, but it was a feeling he wanted to ignore for as long as he could. But the spirits he spoke to that morning had only confirmed his deepest worries.

“Well someone wanted you dead,” Dana said, “unless..”

“Unless?” If eyes could shoot daggers, Wills eyes would be shooting swords.

“Im not insinuating anything, but my mother’s Athena so I was taught to see the bigger picture.” She seemed hesitant as she spoke, “It would be a genius plan.”

Nico’s heart stopped. He felt like his did all those years ago as he watched, behind a dream, his friends debate whether he was worth saving. As accusation of trust which had destroyed him, despite him never speaking of it. He’d hadn’t even told Will, keeping that memory locked away as it slowly ate away at his sanity.

“You can’t be serious,” Will stood up. His voice was cold and harsh as ice, as his fists clenched in a sense of rage.

“No,” Nico stood up, he put his hand on Wills arm. Will had always fought tooth and nail for him, Nico wished he didn’t have to. Every time Wills gentle demeanor turned to that of anger, it made Nico feel an all consuming sense of shame; if only he could be more simple, more easy to handle. “It’s fine, if that’s what you think.” He tried to keep his voice steady, each breath he took brought him back to that table, that ship, that jar.

The room suddenly felt suffocating, the air felt too stale, he felt trapped again.

Will turned to him, his brows knit in utter concern, “Are you okay?”

His words felt muffled beneath the ringing in Nico’s ears, “Y-yeah..I just need a moment.” He didn’t want to, but his body took over as he rushed out of the front door. A second longer in that room had been unimaginable.

As his shoes hit the grass, it withered. He cursed under his breath as he tried to steady his hands.

“You’re not in that stupid jar, pull yourself together,” He muttered leaning against the wall along the side of the big house. Whatever breathing exercises Mr D. had taught him dissipated with his panic. He knew how stupid it was, running away as soon as someone accused him. That was probably the most suspicious thing that someone could do. ‘Oh are you the murderer’ ‘No, bye!’

Still, his stomach felt like as if it had been tied into several knots, corroding him from the inside out with painful moments from the past. He felt like he was there again, watching the two people he was closest to now, debating his life. Nico had never blamed them, he’d never hated them. It was never them who hurt him, it was himself. He hated himself.

Nico would’ve stayed there, drowning in his thoughts forever, if it weren’t for the sudden sounds of clashing that echoed through the camp. It sounded as if something was skittering across the ground, followed by metal scraping against rock. His hand instinctually went to where his sword would be, but unfortunately he’d left it in his cabin. Despite that he still headed towards the strange sound, attempting to be as silent as possible.

When he peeked around the corner he saw Mae, a new camper who had shown up with her younger brother Sam a week ago. They had been claimed as children of Hecate the night they showed up. The two of them reminded Nico of when he and Bianca first came to camp, he couldn’t decide if that was more painful or comforting. Unfortunately the sound wasn’t just Mae sword practicing, as a large shadowy creature stood infront of her. It was similar to a scorpion, but its form flowed with a wobbly consistency.

Mae stood there, sword in hand as she faced the creature. Her hands shook as she trembled in terror, Sam was hiding behind her. Nico could almost picture himself, that day at Westover, cowering behind Bianca as their Vice Principal turned into a monster.

The scorpion thing moved forward to strike and Nico rushed to intercept, it was incredibly stupid as he didn’t have a weapon, but still he charged ahead. Just as it thrust its claw towards Mae, Nico willed all the shadows it was made from against it. The darkness seemed to fight him, barely remaining under his control.

He bided enough time to grab the sister and brother, pushing them out of the way. “Mae, take Sam and run to the big house.” Nico said as he took the sword from her hand. His words were rushed as he could feel the scorpion regaining its control behind him.

“But I can help!” Mae’s eyes were filled with the same bravery Bianca’s had once shown.

“You don’t have to be a hero just yet okay? Just make sure Sam is safe for now,” He didn’t allow Mae to protest and she agreed, grabbing her brother by the arm and running off towards the big house.

Nico almost breathed a sigh of relief until he turned and was face to face (or what he presumed to be its face) with the creature. Up close, its shadows swirled and shifted like each was breathing on its own. Its claw lifted and swung at him, and Nico lifted his sword in an attempt to block the attack, but the sword passed through the creature like it was made of air. The claw kept going unbothered and Nico barely managed to move in time to not get chopped in half, unfortunately the sharp spikes along the claws managed to slice into his arm.

Nico reminded himself to never leave his cabin without his sword again as his arm began to drip with blood.

“What is that?!” The counselors from the big house had all began rushing out towards Nico, along with them, more campers rushed over too.

The scorpion turned towards the others, its void-like claws snapping. Nico knew there was nothing their swords could do to kill it; so in a last ditch effort he slammed his foot against the ground, a large crack spreading and swallowing the creature whole. A second later the crack sealed up, leaving a barren scar along the grass. The satyrs were going to hate him for that.

“Oh my Gods Nico what was that?” Leo had rushed forwards with Jason and Will.

“I don’t know,” Nico said through heavy breaths, the pain from the creatures claws was overpowering as it seemed to seep throughout his whole body.

“Your arm,” Wills face was pale as he gaped at the wound.

“How did that thing get into camp?” Connor asked as he stared at the large gash along the dirt.

“It shouldn’t have been able to get through the boundaries,” Chiara said.

Suddenly a lot of suspicious eyes were on Nico, again.

Will seemed to notice as he snapped towards the small group of campers gathered around them, “You can’t be serious!”

“Will we’re not saying anything it’s just…” Dana seemed reluctant to continue.

“Who else could conjure up something like that?” An Ares camper called out, Sherman quickly turned glaring towards the person who’d spoken.

“Give me one good reason why Nico would do that!” Jason yelled, and as he did the air seemed to turn electric.

The campers went silent, they all seemed to have a thought on their mind yet no one spoke it aloud.

“I get it..” Nico said cutting through the silence, his voice like a knife. “I’ll figure this out myself.”

He stepped backwards into the shadow behind him, the last thing he saw was Will eyes widening as he called out, “Wait Nico!”

Nico didn’t wait, he disappeared into the shadows, but not before Leo could manage to latch onto his arm, following him into the shadows.

As the world faded to black he heard a sharp sickeningly familiar voice in his head, Strike one little demigod.

—

Leo wasn’t sure if following Nico was incredibly smart or incredibly stupid, but with his track record it was probably the latter. His body had reacted before he’d thought about his decision though, and he was quickly pulled into the shadows. As he entered the darkness he was hit by a sense of cold from every direction, it was as if he were surrounded by nothing. He’d forgotten what shadow travel felt like, and he’d forgotten how much it sucked.

He was never more glad to see the sun when they stumbled out of the dark. They were in some park, with a vast assortment of trees spread throughout the grass. The air was warm and fresh, providing a comforting breeze as the sun shined above them.

“Valdez i’m going to-“ Nico began to say something in his usual angry tone before he doubled over onto the ground. The grass around him withered and black smoke seemed to trail off of him.

“Nico are you-“

“Shut up.” Nico cut him off, speaking through gritted teeth. Leo felt guilty, just standing there, but after a moment Nico managed to steady himself.

“Dude are you okay?” Leo asked, unable to convey the pure amount of worry he felt.

“It’s fine.” Nico took a shaky breath, struggling to stand.

Leo wanted to reach out and help him, but he had a feeling it would not of been appreciated. “That didn’t look fine.”

Nico eyes snapped towards him, “Why did you follow me?”

“Because I wasn’t going to let you run away all on your own like an idiot?”

“Who said I was running away?” Nico looked at Leo like he was stupid.

“Huh?”

Nico sighed, wiping the dirt off his hands, “I was going to try and find what’s been causing all of this. If I can find it and stop it then this whole mess will be over.”

Leo gaped at him for a moment, he felt a rush of sadness and then anger, “You thought you could just go out all on your own? By yourself?”

“I don’t want anyone else getting hurt, this is my mess.”

“First of all,” Leo felt himself heating up, literally as the tips of his hair began to smoke. “You can’t just try and solve everything on your own like that, you could get hurt, or maybe worse..secondly, how is this your mess?”

Nico paused, a hesitant look passed over his face. “Because I think I know who’s doing this.” He paused before speaking again as Leo waited for him to continue, “Nyx.”

“Nyx as in Night? Why would Night be specifically attacking you?”

“I guess I hurt her pride back in tartarus,” Nico said. Leo thought about how casually he’d said that, like that fact he’d been there twice was no big deal. “Or..”

“Or?” Leo couldn’t imagine how it could get worse.

“She’s trying to rise. I mean after Gaea rising and the Giants attacking, there must of been a lot of time for her to gather her power. She’s a goddess after all, she might be trying to rise like Kronos did.”

“Great, that’s amazing.” Leo sighed, there it went, getting worse. Unsurprisingly, they couldn’t go more than a year without something very bad happening. “So she’s coming after you first, for what, a grudge?”

“That..or it’s because i’m the only one who can really stop her, if she gets rid of me first she has a better chance of taking down camp.”

“So you go out to try and face her, on your own?” Leo felt his patience running thin, “Isn’t that exactly what she’d want?”

“I wanted to stop her, before she could hurt anyone else.” Nico looked down, he wouldn’t meet Leo’s eyes anymore, his focus now on the withered grass.

Leo felt a tinge of guilt as his anger dissipated, “You don’t have to do everything by yourself you know that? This Nyx lady, she loves darkness?” Leo’s hands sparked into flames, “Then i’ll show her some real light.”

A hint of a smile creeped onto Nico’s face, “I’m not convincing you to let me do this on my own am I?”

“Nope!” Leo’s flames turned to smoke as he reached into his tool belt, pulling out some bandages. “Now let’s get you all fixed up before we put ourselves in any further danger.”

Nico rolled his eyes, looking at the deep gashes along his arm. Something about the cuts was abnormal, yet Leo couldn’t figure it out. It was yet another moment where he realized that he could fix any machine, but when it came to humans he was seriously lacking. Again, he wished he was a doctor like Will or something, magic healing powers would be great right about now. Even ambrosia would’ve been nice, but of course the most he could give was papery bandages and some screws and bolts.

He did an extremely poor clean up job on the wound before stopping to ask, “Maine is a pretty big state, where to first?”

A dark shadow seemed to pass over Nico’s face as he met Leo’s eyes, “Westover. Me and Bianca’s last school.”

(Part Four)

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blackleatherjacketz · 3 months

Text

Primal

Alcide Herveaux x Female Reader

Summary: You call Alcide to help with your frozen pipes, but he stays to unthaw more than that.

Warnings: 18+ Only! Handyman trope, Flirting, Teasing, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Primal Instincts, Scenting, Scent Kink, Werewolf Stuff (You Know), Hair-Pulling, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Rough Sex

Word Count: 1.6k+

Read more True Blood!

“Next time don’t wait for your pipes to freeze before you call me, okay?” Alcide finishes up his work and slowly steps toward you as he tosses the dish rag into the sink.

You can’t remember feeling this strongly about someone so quickly, wanting to touch someone based on mere sight alone after he first gave you that half-cocked grin from across the room, but there was something about him that sparked something primal, something… animalistic deep inside you. You’ve spent countless nights dreaming about what it might feel like to be held in his arms, to crash into him and bind yourself to him in any way possible. But his phone number had burned a hole into your pocket for days, your pride getting the best of you until the universe finally pulled you two together by freezing your pipes until they actually burst, causing a minor flood in your kitchen.

“Oh yeah?” You whisper, breaking your stunned silence as his breath is suddenly warm against your cheek and his fingers are playfully snaking their way into your belt loops.

You hold your breath as his nose gently brushes against yours, teasing the promise of a kiss that you’ve both been secretly hoping for after all this time. You allow him to pull you in closer, the heat between you now undeniable as his natural scent quickly surrounds you in an intoxicating haze of pent up desire that neither of you had the courage to act upon until now.

“Yeah.” He looks at you with those dangerously dark eyes, pressing a kiss into your cheek just above your mouth before it finally lands where he intended, his full lips pressing needily against yours as his other hand finds its way up into your hair.

His kiss is like honey, comforting and sweet as it graces your lips before hitting your tongue as his grip on your hair tightens. You close your eyes and breathe him in, getting lost in notes of freshly cut wood and bergamot as he backs you up against the kitchen counter, nearly knocking your head against one of the cabinets. You hold onto his waist as the warmth of his body transfers onto you, permeating through his skin and clothes as his mouth gets more desperate, tasting your lips with a groan so deep that it rumbles in his chest and vibrates against your own.

A more feral side of you begins to rise to the surface, blinding you to all logic and reason as the desire, no… the need to have his bare skin pressing against yours outweighs the necessity for anything else. You part your lips even further to taste him, to allow his tongue inside your mouth as he spreads the flavor of bitter coffee and whiskey all over your tastebuds. You grasp at him in order to get more, your palms sliding up beneath his flannel shirt as they smooth over the warming muscles rippling across his back in a hurried fervor.

“I’ve been waiting forever for this,” he whispers, reading your mind by pulling his shirt off over his head as he breaks your kiss, tossing it behind him before pressing his lips to your skin again. His hands are back on you in a flash, squeezing your shoulders, arms and waist before finding the hem of your shirt and tugging it upward in return.

“Then why didn’t you fucking call me?” You lift your arms as he disrobes your top half, all but ripping it to shreds in the process before it falls to your feet. You moan into his mouth as you work to undo your bra, his calloused fingers scratching your skin as they begin to fumble with the button and zipper of your jeans.

“Phone works both ways, Princess.” He grunts as you undo his belt and rip it out of its loops, tossing it onto the pile with the rest as he pulls your pants and underwear down to your knees. “Didn’t want to come off too strong.”

“Uh-huh.” You step out of your clothes and gasp as he grabs onto your hips, lifting you up off your feet and onto his waist. “Wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“Shut up,” he mumbles into your mouth, holding onto you tightly as he carries you around aimlessly, bumping into the trash can and chair before reaching the kitchen table and finally tossing you down onto it.

His jet black curls fall in front of his eyes as he leans over you to inhale your scent, pressing his nose into your pulse points as his lips taste the skin on top of them. His hands hold you down by your wrists as he lets your pheromones consume him, his trail of sloppy kisses moving down your neck and clavicle until he reaches your armpit. You never knew what an erogenous zone that area could be until he raises your arm to get deeper into it. Shockwaves of bliss shoot down your spine as he kisses the sensitive skin of your axilla, all but licking it clean. Your breath stifles as goosebumps prickle the flesh along your lymphatic system as he practically drinks in your scent, sighing as he greedily fills up his lungs with your essence.

“Fuck, you smell amazing, you know that?” His eyes flash a gold hue as he glances up at you, that half-cocked grin returning to his lips as he moves his mouth down your body, kissing your breasts and navel before getting onto his knees between your thighs.

He groans out loud as he tastes you for the first time, taking in your strongest scent and flavor as he refuses to stand on ceremony by dining on your flesh like a ravenous wolf. His hands move up your torso as your back arches in response, mapping the hills and valleys of your body as it instinctively keens into his mouth, as if it has any other choice.

“Alcide,” you whisper, letting your fingers move those curls up and away from his forehead as you watch him devour you, that gold tone in his eyes seeming to glow more intensely as he licks a slow stripe up your length with pride.

You try to control your breathing as he refuses to answer you, merely growling in response as those vibrations move through his lips and tongue into your clit, stimulating it like no one else has been able to do before. You hear him laugh as he notices you quaking in pleasure with each flick of his tongue and brush of his nose as they send deeper, more intense shocks of pleasure up into your core, one right after the other. This has never happened to you so quickly, but you can feel them stacking on top of each other, climbing higher up your spinal column until they finally reach your brain in an earth shattering explosion of ecstasy. It rocks its way through you, falling down your body like an avalanche as you feel the pleasure tumbling down where his mouth refuses to relent until it crumbles out of your extremities, dissolving into your very toes and fingernails.

You pull on his hair as the tremors of euphoria become too much, trying to get him off of you, but instead he doubles down. He growls again, only this time it’s deeper as he pulls your thighs tightly onto his shoulders, turning his head from side to side to send you into convulsions as he smears his face with the fruits of his labor. Your head falls back onto the kitchen table, your hands letting go of his hair to cover your own mouth as you scream his name again and again. His insatiable mouth sets you up again, bringing you to the edge of another tsunami of bliss as his spit mixes with your juices before dripping down your cheeks and onto the tile floor of your kitchen.

“You taste even better.” He finally speaks as he brings himself to detach from you, shoving his pants down past his knees before stepping out of them.

“Thanks. You’re really fucking good at that.” You whisper breathlessly as you watch him remove his pants, trying not to gawk too hard at what he’s working with. “Jesus.”

“Thanks.” He smirks again and kisses your lips, letting you taste what drove him so crazy down there as he strokes himself in the process, brushing the tip of his dick over your extremely sensitive bud before finally pushing all the way inside. He stares into your eyes as he glides into you, chuckling as your mouth falls open while he bottoms out against your soaking wet thighs.

“Mmm, Alcide,” you mumble into his mouth as your slick walls expand to envelop him without any effort, as if your body was specifically designed to always take him in this way.

His hands grasp onto your ass as he thrusts into you, pulling you closer to him as the legs of the table screech across the floor, barely loud enough to cover up the sound of your moans as he drives himself in at just the right angle. You can’t believe that he’s this talented, that a man so big and handsome actually has the skills to back up his intoxicatingly good looks, but here he is. He grabs a fistful of your hair as he deepens his kiss, grunting into you as the sweat begins to drip down his face, the width of his cock passing over that bundle of nerves again and again. Faster and faster each time, he triggers that chemical reaction deep within you, setting your skin on fire as you feel the table beneath you begin to sway with each frantic trust up into your viscera.

Your smooth muscles clench down around him in your blissful fit of frenzy as you wrap your legs around the small of his back as his pace increases, growing more sporadic. He grunts and growls more loudly as you hold him in close so you can feel him twitch and sputter his release inside you, the two of you now convulsing in perfect unison as your shared orgasm rips its way through you. It tears you apart and brings you together at the exact same moment that the table beneath you finally gives way, falling backward onto the floor as Alcide collapses on top of you.

“Shit. I can fix that.” Alcide kisses his apology into your lips as the shock from the fall is barely cushioned by the afterglow of your carnal high, your body unable to feel any pain just yet as he pulls the rest of the way out of you.

You laugh in utter shock and disbelief, deciding to stay there with him on top of your dilapidated kitchen table. “I’mma hold you to that.”

#alcide herveaux #joe manganiello #true blood #wereowlves #werewolf #alcide herveaux fanfiction #alcide herveaux smut

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sapphosclosefriend · 2 years

Text

- Expect the unexpected -

Pairing: Nerd! Natasha Romanoff x Popular! Fem! Reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Summary: When everyone wants to get a night with you, maybe giving the tall nerdy redhead a go is the best thing you can do.

Word count: 2052

Warnings: bottom! Reader, top! Natasha Romanoff, slight slut shaming (not from pookie bear Nat ofc), making out, SMUT, thigh riding, r being a big tease

A/N: this story contains explicit smut, so anyone who isn’t 18+ DNI. This is set at the end of the last year of high school, which means that everyone involved is of age (at least in my country everyone is at least 18 by the end of high school but I know that in some countries you only go to high school for 4 years instead of 5 like, for example, I did). I’m gonna use the lessons “layout” that I’m familiar with, as I don’t know enough about other countries’ school systems. This means that the school year starts in September and ends at the beginning of June, with the final exams for graduation starting in the middle of June. As usual, likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated! Enjoy <3

Masterlist

It is may, it is freaking may, how is it already may? You are panicking, you really don’t know how the hell you never realised that time was moving so fast, perhaps it is the fact that you’ve only focused on your literature classes to have the best grades possible and get into your dream university starting at the top, but it suddenly hits you. It is May and you still don’t have a passing grade in maths and physics. Yes, you’re not gonna study those subjects ever again after graduating high school, but in order to do it in the first place, you have to have somewhat decent grades. Shit, how the hell are you gonna get higher grades when you don’t even know what the professor has been talking about for the past two months?

You try to take the matter in your own hands and start reading the needed chapter of the maths book you’ve barely opened, it won’t be so hard if you closely follow the freaking book, right? Wrong, you don’t understand a single word written in the damn thing, useless waste of paper.

After some more desperation you resolve to the last thing you wanted to do, ask for help.

You are, for some unknown reason, pretty popular at school. Ok, it may or may not be because apparently everyone lusts after you. In fact, you may or may not have had a couple dozen people try to ask you out just in the past three months, but in your defence, they were just porn-addicted guys who wanted to get lucky for one night. It actually all started getting a lot more frequent since the spreading of the (true) rumor of you sleeping with the student body president Wanda Maximoff, another person the whole school thirsted over. You actually spent a couple good times together, but you knew from the get go that she “didn’t commit” as she had to focus on school, a decision you were fine with. Soon after, the whole school considered you the hottie who apparently gives incredible head, thanks to Wanda spreading the news so effectively and your past companions confirming.

Despite some people calling you a slut, even directly to your face, you know that you never did anything wrong, they’re all just uptight assholes who can’t get laid and get angry at your sometimes teasing demeanour.

Now, you have the phone number of almost any top maths and physics student, as they were even handed to you personally by the owners, hoping for you to eventually be in need of help, like you are right now. You end up deciding to just go to class and try to ask the person who inspires you the most at the moment.

The next day, as the maths class is nearing its end, you still have no idea who you are willing to talk to, when the feeling of someone watching you from behind gets impossible to ignore. As you turn around you see a tall redhead quickly move her eyes away from you while nervously biting her lip. You know her, actually, you only know her name and the fact that she definitely could be of help, as she even got a scholarship in the top national university when it comes to maths and physics. Natasha Romanoff, that’s her name, which you remember very well since that party at your friend’s house, where no one took you seriously as you talked about how you think she’s pretty hot.

You finally make a decision just as the bell rings. You immediately stand up and turn around to look at Natasha who, as she stands as well, you notice is actually a lot taller than you, damn that’s hot. You look up at her and, when you notice the nervousness behind her eyes, you softly smile at her and introduce yourself, despite her already knowing your name. You go straight to the point and ask her for help.

“I just need to meet a couple times to get the main points. I don’t care about being the best, I just need the bare minimum. Would you help me out?”

She looks at you with a stunned expression for a couple seconds, before breaking out of her trance when you smile at her once again.

“I- yeah, I mean, of course I can, yeah..yeah!”

“Yeah” you teasingly repeat, making you bite your lip as she blushes a little bit.

You end up deciding to meet up at her house later that day, as her parents and sister are out, so you can also look over the homework your professor just gave you. You happily say goodbye and leave her stunned at the encounter she just had.

Just like everyone else at school, she is drooling over you, the only difference being that she’s never tried a single move on you. That’s why you didn’t even think about her at first, as she didn’t give you her number before today.

By the end of the day you find yourself freshly showered and wearing a cute outfit you know will make Nat’s jaw drop. You truly need to do some tutoring, but there wouldn’t be anything wrong in trying to test the waters as well. You don’t even care about your friends’ teasing, thinking about Nat all day just made you more and more desperate for her.

As you get to the address she previously messaged you, you find her ready to open the door right before you can ring the bell, letting you in and checking you out as you look around her house, getting lost in the skin of your thighs getting exposed by the sundress you’re wearing.

You end up sitting in the living room, your books left in your bag and only a notebook at hand. Listening to Nat passionately talk about what she loves really makes it all easy to understand. How the hell does your professor make everything sound so complicated? You spend a good couple hours listening to her and asking questions from time to time, feeling shocked at the amount of stuff that you were able to go through. It will definitely be easier than you thought to get your grades on track thanks to Nat.

Deciding on stopping for the day, you start to gather your stuff in your bag while asking Nat some questions about herself, wanting to know more about her. After looking slightly shocked at first she shily answers while looking anywhere but at you. As you are sitting on the couch with one leg under the other, your dress rides up your thighs a bit more, making her lose her concentration. Of course you notice what’s happening, but you feign innocence and touch her much bigger hand and ask her if she’s alright, making her fully stop talking as she sees the way you’re rubbing your thumb on the back of her hand. As her eyes move higher and lock with yours, she notices the way you are looking at her lips, making you let out a small whimper when she slowly wets them.

She suddenly realises how close you’ve moved to her and, when you whisper her name she can’t hold herself back anymore, suddenly kissing you with so much hunger that you can’t keep yourself from moaning at the urge she’s displaying. When you lick her lower lip, asking for entrance, she immediately accepts and surprises you with the way a simple kiss of hers takes your breath away.

When she pulls away, you are both panting like you just ran a marathon and your heart starts beating even faster when you take her in, looking hotter than ever, making you rub your legs together to try to relieve some of the discomfort you are now feeling, a sight that makes her lowly moan and grab your face to continue your previous activity.

After heavily making out, you make her fully sit while keeping your lips locked all the time, not being able to get enough of each other, just to straddle her and lock your arms behind her neck, making sure to stay connected as much as possible. When you inevitably have to breathe properly you notice how stiff she is, with her hands on the couch under her.

You lean back, fully sitting on her thighs, and take her hands to guide them over your body, over your waist, your hips and finally placing them on your ass, making her throw her head back when she finally squeezes it, at first lightly and then with more force, making you moan out loud. You then lean down and immediately start nipping at her neck more and more as she thoroughly kneads your ass cheeks as you involuntarily move your hips back and forth over her thighs.

When you feel her panting under you, you just stop marking her neck and lean back once again, only to fully take off your dress, revealing your bare boobs and your underwear being the last piece of clothing on your body. At the sight of your tits’ slight wiggle when you fully remove your dress, Nat just lets out a loud moan while once again squeezing your ass. You know what she wants and you also know that she’ll never do it herself, so you grab her hands and this time you move them up to your chest, which she gladly touches mouth-opened, as if she’s never seen a pair of tits in her life, which may be the case.

As she tentatively runs her thumbs over your nipples you throw your head back and expose your neck to her, giving her the perfect opportunity to start kissing it. You truly feel desperate for her and, as you run your fingers through her hair while she sucks the skin of your neck while pulling your nipples, you start rolling your hips over her with much more will. After moving around a little bit, you are able to fully straddle her thigh, making her notice only when she feels your slick soak through your underwear and her pants.

At this moment, with you desperately riding Nat and her watching your boobs bounce a little with each roll of your hips, the lust in the room is more prominent than ever. You feel your peak quickly approaching when she suddenly leans over to suck on your tits, even leaving one or two hickeys on top of them, making you feel like you just could never be more attracted to her than right now.

When you tell her that you’re cumming, she leans back on the couch to fully take you in when you finally reach your orgasm, your head thrown back and chest heaving at the immense pleasure and relief you feel, a sight that makes her groan and that she’ll never ever forget. When you look back at her, still panting and with reddened lips, she can’t help but lean in to pull you flush against her and kiss you, moaning a little when she feels your nipples poke her chest through her shirt.

Soon things get heated once again, but you are only able to take her shirt off and teasingly ask her where she hid those perfect guns, before you hear the bell ring and her sister’s voice asking to open the door, as she forgot her keys.

After you hurriedly put your clothes back on and get your stuff, you both go up to the door, Nat opening it and you quickly walking past Yelena while saying goodbye and telling Nat that you’ll be texting her. When she’s sure you’re far enough, Yelena looks at Nat dead in the eye and just tells her

“You just fucked, in my house.”

“No, we didn’t..and it’s my house as well”

“Yeah yeah and I bet that she just spilled some water on your pants” Yelena finally says with a disgusted look while going inside.

There was indeed a noticeable wet spot on Nat’s leg which only made her mind go back to your previous activities and how beautiful you looked while lost in pleasure. As she starts to get lost in the memories, Nat receives a message from you

“Looking out for your next lesson, tutor ;)”

Part 2

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff smut #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x female reader #black widow fluff #black widow smut #marvel #mcu

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scarlettsandmaroons · 1 year

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midnights like this | n. romanoff

about me | series masterlist | natasha romanoff masterlist

pairing: professor!natasha romanoff x collegestudent!reader

chapter three | chapter four: he is sunshine

chapter summary: your mother was crazy. and when the realization of something you long denied, defended even, hit you, your first instinct was to leave, and drink until midnight. it didn't occur to you that you might run into the woman who took a share in making your life miserable.

warnings: a more dig into the evident mommy issues; a fight with your terrible mother, curse words, kind of long, unedited.

a/n: here's the long awaited update. i don't think it's as good as expected for a chapter that took too long to be uploaded, but I PROMISE YOU IT GETS BETTER. anyways, i'm sorry it took so long! christmas break is right around the corner, and i had to get so much done.

your mother once slapped you so hard your vision went black for 5 seconds. that was over the peanut butter she had you look for but couldn't find. she got so mad at you, she hit you. you were five that time.

growing up, you always tried to find a way to hold some grudge against your mother. one would say it's easy. she hits you everyday; every chance she gets, and you would be stuck with the bruises she left you for the next day until she gives you new ones.

she yells at you, always. never had she not yelled at you for anything. she brought home weird guys who you'd often catch her have sex with in the kitchen. she embarrasses you. she once flashed your neighbors in anger as if her boobs would prove a point.

she manipulated you. gaslighted you into doing everything for her. from picking up her drugs from her dealer, to dropping it off to her boyfriend's house.

you were a kid. that was your life everyday from when you learned how to walk, until you met billy in fourth grade.

you can't really hate your mother though. she was an addict. she's a drunk. for a while, you two lived in her van which she filled of off with weed and beer. she hurt you in every way that a mother can possibly a child. she was terrible. and you hate her for that. but sometimes, there's a thought that tugs at the back of your mind, a feeling that you're being illogical. that you're being unfair. she was an addict. she needed help. why would i hate someone who needed help?

but you needed help too. away from her. but you can't. you're stuck with her. who would possibly look after her.

you promised yourself you'd do good in school. she hurt you everytime you don't. so you can get out of there and be on your own. you knew she'd hurt you if she saw your grades.

you were holding your report card in your hand, and mrs. romanoff did fail you. until you saw it, you held onto that small ounce of hope that she's only doing everything to scare you, to humiliate you. you hoped she wouldn't follow through. you prayed your friend's little outburst at least defended how dedicated you are; how much of a good student you are.

of course, to pray that she was like those professor in movies who beat you to shape by humiliating you, but reaches an arc where becomes proud of you for whatever kind of declamatory speech you give them, might be a little too much. it should be enough that you're still here a week later. not suspended, not expelled, still here.

but it never hurts to hope.

well, it does—when you hope a little too much. the disappointment hurts. when you dream a little too high, and suddenly, you come crashing down, it hurts.

"at least she's your only failing grade," billy's eyes stayed on the paper you gave him which your professor took the liberty of laminating. you have this theory that she only did that to emphasize—to immortalize the only two failing grades you have, both from her, among your otherwise "straight a student" grades. but that just made you all the more disappointed which is a feeling you share with billy.

neither of you were disappointed of you, of your performance. your sleepless nights, and your caffeine-induced body did not deserve a below 50% grade. you were disappointed of how little to none your efforts did in persuading mrs. romanoff. of course, you didn't persuade her. you basically yelled at her. but still, if she had only let you leave when you asked her to, you wouldn't have resorted to barging in her office and invading her space by accusing her. but you were even more disappointed of how little your efforts in her class weighed in on your grade.

"i mean, she is a terrible professor," she's not. she is terribly good. "that's a lie. she's just a bad person."

billy groaned frustratingly. "she's not though!" he insisted. "she is a good person."

billy always came to defend mrs. romanoff. despite having barged into her office, pointing fingers at her, and calling her biased, he never lets you think she is a bad person. he defended her. and maybe that's why you have this small hope within you that maybe, just maybe; she's kind. she's nice. and from what you've heard, she is. from what he told you, the little boy who was "auntie nat's little bill", she is nice. just not to her students. and especially, not to you.

the both of you continued walking even as he dropped his hands to his sides. "if she were, she wouldn't give a student whose life almost revolves around her subject, a failing grade," you argue. "not even just a failing grade. the failing grade."

"she is a good person. i grew up with her. she was auntie nat. and eventually—"

"maybe she doesn't have a family," you theorized. you said it as if it were some massive discovery, which if you turn out to be right, might just be one. if she turns out to be a sad lonely woman then it might explain why she's been so hard on her students. on you.

"she does!"

"i just don't understand why she's targeting me—why she seems to be targeting me," you sighed out in deep frustration. "what is it with me. why me?"

you've been walking around campus for a while. that's always been your bonding with billy. you two like to walk, to tire yourselves. it's always better than spending money for the same purpose: to hang out.

and then you dropped everything, even billy. "mrs. maximoff?!" you were sure your scream echoed through the hallway of the left wing and into the offices of your professors as all regard for absolutely anything was washed away by the sight of a brown-haired woman who was striking through the hallway as if she owned the place. you ran to her, and she was quick to open her arms wide to welcomed you into a hug. you were much excited to see her than her own son.

your nose nuzzled through the crook of her neck. you inhaled her, you took her in and her motherly warmth. how you've missed her. she was your second mother. she was your mother. being with her, seeing her, hugging her filled the gap in your heart. the void left by your own mother.

mrs. maximoff wrapped you in a tight hug. "y/n, oh how you've grown!" she says, pulling you away by the shoulders so she can let the image of you sink in. and then she pulled you in her arms again, "i missed you so much."

your heart screamed of so much joy while your arm clung to billy's mother. you toured the university, gone through every hallway, every crevice. and while billy walked almost dreadfully slow behind the two of you, the most special women in his life walked gleefully in front of him as they shared laughter and stories.

"will you be going back to your revenge hair though?" you asked. "oh!!! i would love to see it. please go back to your revenger hair."

"i might when i get divorced again."

she laughed and continued on your conversation. she invited you out for lunch, and then for a stroll down the park, and after your second class with mrs. romanoff, you find her waiting for you outside with a smile on her face.

it almost made you cry, how appreciative she was of you. she was more of a mother to you that day than your mother ever was. you spent the entire day together, at some point losing billy but not entirely caring. she continued on listening to your stories, encouraging you to go on.

she knows your situation with your mother. for almost the entirety of your childhood, you stayed in the maximoff household because yours was too dysfunctional for a kid. she took you in until your mother broke up with her boyfriend and demand that you return.

you hadn't seen mrs. maximoff until now.

"what if you stay with us tonight?"

your day with mrs. maximoff ended when you had reached the gate. she held you by the shoulders and looked at you with hopeful eyes. "i don't want our day to end. if it were up to me, i'll keep you forever!" she says.

you laugh at her, forcing your arms to tangle against hers so you too can hold her by the shoulders.

"what weird mother-daughter ritual is my mother forcing on you now?" you ignored billy's comment as he approched you.

"i'll ask my mother." you say. neither you or mrs. maximoff acknowledged billy who was almost forcing himself to be seen.

"i'll prepare the guest room."

"hello, yoo-hoo. am i invisible or something?" billy waves a hand in between the both of you, to which his mother only scoffs at annoyed.

"oh shut up, billy." mrs. maximoff says playfully.

billy frowned as he dropped his shoulders and slouched. "but i thought you came here for me!"

"sure. anyways," his mother looked back at you. you were sure going to tease him about how you'd always been the favorite child later. "i'll make your favorite!"

you laughed. "i think the last meal you remember to be my favorite was cotton candy with pop rocks."

"true." she clings her arms with yours again. closing the gap between you, and the space to which billy can squeeze in. "but i hear a lot about you, so you should trust me."

you looked at billy behind you and flashed him a playful glare. "what have you been telling mrs. maximoff!"

"mama, dear. call me mama."

you melted.

your mother never lets you call her mom. at first, not in public. and eventually, not even when you two are alone. so to say you had a bad mother, was an understatement. you didn't have a mother at all.

and somehow, for the first time since you left billy's house, you feel like you did.

"mom!"

your loud angry call echoed around the walls of your two-floored house. but somehow, the squelching sound of your mother eating out the face of some man against the wall of the staircase was louder.

you could feel yourself shrinking. not only was your house a terrible mess, your 40 year old, alcohol-reeked, duster wearing, mother was also grinding her every bit to the man who seems so closely your age.

clothes scatter on the floor. dirty plates, peeking from the arc of your living room where it's stacked near the couch. nothing is where it should be. there were shoes everywhere; trash on the floors.

you spent your whole teenage years living in this dump. at some point, you stopped caring. but mrs. maximoff...

her house had always been so cozy. so neat. it was never messy. she made sure that it was clean, and tidy, but never so much that it looks like a showroom. she made sure it felt like a home, that it felt like people lived in it. she had each member of the family incorporated in her house, from using her children's kindergarten artwork as decoration, to using their favorite colors as the scheme for her home.

it always smelled like roses, and tuberose, and fancy hotel bathrooms in her house. everything is where it should be. and they're a functional family. mrs. maximoff, although going through a rough patch with her husband, had always been so loving, so kind. she is a good mother.

nothing about billy's family is similar to yours. not that you had a family in the first place but god did you wish you did.

"god, mom! stop!" you scream again. your head shaking from the sheer force of your voice.

you felt mrs. maximoff's hand on your shoulder. for a moment, you weren't sure if she was taking pity. seeing the state you'd lived in for years, does she feel sorry for you?

if she did, you'd hate her.

"y/n, dear. i'll talk to your mother." she whispered softly. "go upstairs."

"oh perfect, sweetie, you're here. meet my new boyfriend." your mother said with pride as she moved away from the boy so slowly as if basking in the feeling of getting caught.

"janet, please," mrs. maximoff pleaded.

"wanda, sweetheart, are you here to take my daughter again?" your mother slowly walked down the stairs, her hand waving in the air until her fist slammed against the wall, "because no!" she yelled. her eyes dark, and angry. and then she laughed again. like a maniac, a psychopath.

her eyes were red and puffy, and her cheeks were deeply hollowed from drugs. the way she looks now would have never lead you to believe that she was once a scientist two decades ago.

her last study was of quantum physics. she and her husband, hank pym, got so far into the study that they, at some point discovered a way into the quantum realm.

that was around the time her first daughter was born. hope van dyne. after the discovery of the quantum realm, your mother wanted to go into it. to further their research. to go inside it. the obsession she had over the study, her life long work, made her a negligent mother and wife.

hank left her with hope. with a note, of all less. and he took everything.

she told you that when you were five and she got so high she couldn't make it passed the porch so you laid down with her. suddenly, all of it made sense. it shouldn't to a five year old, but it did to you. she wasn't crazy. not a scientist turned crazy. but a woman who lost her family.

"mom..." you called out.

"don't!," she yelled, taking you aback to which mrs. maximoff quickly pulled you behind her. "call me mom!" she breathes out. and suddenly, with a calm and composed demeanor, like a switch inside her flipped, she smiles, "call me janet, dear."

she continued to advance towards you. very slowly, it scared you. "janet, you're not well—"

she slapped mrs. maximoff.

it was so loud, so hard, it echoed around the whole house. it rung in your ear, and you felt it in your chest.

at that moment, you understood why hank left her. why he pursued the study on his own. why her kid never called her. she was crazy. that's why her family left her.

you couldn't for years because you felt sorry for her. for the way she lost everything. but now you see how she deserves it.

you had to leave.

at least, tonight.

so you did. you pulled away from mrs. maximoff's grasp and took a cab to the farthest pub you can afford to pay him to take you to.

you weren't sure if you were allowed to be served a drink. but when the bartender saw your teary eyes, and your severely worn out state, he didn't question anything. instead, he served you a drink you didn't really asked for, and continued to until midnight, when you had a couple and could barely stay on the stool without almost falling off.

the bartender had to hold you by the shoulders on multiple occasion to make sure you didn't fall down. yet, you continued drinking until your mind was so fuzzy, you couldn't even hold yourself up so you had to lay your head on the counter.

you raised a finger, and in quite a declarative tone, said, "another on—"

but you were cut off. "that's enough for her, thank you." the woman says with nonchalance. "i'll pay. do you take card?"

you recognized that voice. though, your very blurry vision and barely opened eyes only allowed your sight a view of the woman's waist and the line between her red top and her skirt, you knew who that was.

"mrs. romanoff!" you said with what your intoxicated brain made it seem to be such a great discovery. "what are you doing here?"

"you're too young to drink, aren't you?" she says, placing something inside her clutch, while you force yourself to sit up. "on a school night too."

"why do you care?" you say, looking up.

"i don't."

she was standing beside you, towering over you. despite the blurriness, you can still see her eyes as clearly as ever. she had these deep set of green eyes that you'd never ever want to look away from. the kind that pulls you in. she pulls you in. even when she's scary. even when she humiliates you. somehow, she's still so... beautiful.

how can such a beautiful person be so mean.

"why do you hate me so much?" you ask.

"i don't hate you."

"why are you targeting me? i might not be excelling in your subject, but i'm better than others. i don't see anyone else receiving a failing grade, so why are you targeting me?" you were practically yelling at her, exactly the way that billy did. you wanted to tell her how shitty your life was. you wanted to give her a rundown of everything that happened to you. you wanted to tell her that your life was already shit, to ask her why she has to make it worse. why were you given a life like that? a professor like her? why you? "why me?"

"because you make it so easy," she says casually.

you sighed, looking away and slouching against the marble counter. "that's just mean." you say."you're mean."

"what do you want me to do about it?"

"i want you to be nice."

"how."

there was a pause. you might be pushing it. but you were drunk. you had a shitty day. you don't care if you even get kicked of the school. your life was already shit, it would only be shittier, and when you grow up from a life like that, you stop even hoping for anything to get better.

"billy tells me your nice in your house. outside of school. do that to me..."

"do what to you?"

"say hi to me. greet me. cook me eggs. stroke my hair, love me." you looked back at her with pleading eyes. you didn't know what you were asking for, only that you so desperately wanted her respect, even her validation; to be seen, and treated like a human being she actually acknowledged, that you were begging her to do just that. "treat me as if you live with me. find it in your heart to love me. so it will be easier for you to be nice to me."

"you want me to be nice to you that much?"

she continued looking down at you. she didn't sit down. she just looked at you, her body merely a few inches away from you that you'd gotten more drunk on her scent than you did on alcohol.

"yes."

she smelled like rose water, vanilla, and cherries. she smelled so good. you wanted to get drunk on her forever.

"okay."

#ath: natasha romanoff #ath: natasha romanoff series (wasn't midnight rain)#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff imagine #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #billy maximoff #billy maximoff fanfic #billy maximoff imagine #marvel #marvel fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfic

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hanaruri-tunes · 11 months

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⚠️MDNI⚠️

Some quick Leviathan x reader. No trigger warning cause honestly it's pretty vanilla.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Imagine Leviathan making cosplays for you à la "dress up darling."

He measures you thinking how lucky he is that he's allowed to get so close to you AND he's the only one who knows your measurements. He preciously keeps that sheet of paper where he wrote them down although he would never admit it to you because he's too scared that you'll think he's a creepy piece of shit.

Aside from the regular cosplays you ask him to make, he secretly makes some erotic outfits with those measurements "as practice", dreaming that one day you'll wear those. Not like it's possible anyway since you guys would never have the kind of relationship where you'll gladly dress yourself up like a slut for him... right?

As soon as you catch him red handed you immediately ask him if you can try them on. He freezes for a solid 20 seconds. Can you?? He would literally pay you to do it and yet he can have that for free?? You put them on and oh- you look gorgeous. You're wearing the kind of costume that can be borrowed in love hotels except the quality here is top notch.

Before Levi can understand what he's saying, he has already asked you if he can take pictures of you like this. You agree and not only do you agree, you also pose for him. Though he's still too shy, ashamed in asking you for a certain pose in particular so you just try to pose in as many ways as you can think of. Eventually, as you can clearly see the outline of his dick through his sweatpants, you ask him him if there isn't anything else he'd like you to do for him.

You caress his forearm then you go up to his arm, gently swaying him as he wishes he could rip all of his clothes off right now to feel your direct touch on his skin. Your hand finally makes his way up to his torso, playing with the area around his nipples. You make soft, hopeful eyes at him. Hoping that he'll break.

"Hm? You don't want anything else? Only pictures are fine with you?"

He gulps then shuts his eyes tightly, unable to make this request while looking at you in the eyes.

"P-Please suck me off..."

You chuckle, then immediately go down on him. You tease him through his sweatpants first, then through his underwear, caresssing him with your hand. And once it's out, you shamelessly take it all in. While he sits there on his seat, he can't help but throw his head back. Gasping, squirming and whimpering like a little bitch.

He tries to take pictures of you as you're sucking him off but it comes out all blurred as his hands keep shaking. Eventually he drops the phone, unable to stop his urge to thrust his hips into your beautiful little mouth. He gets up, gripping you by the leash and collar he made just for you, pushing himself further in. Back and forth, until the warm liquid makes its way into your throat, flowing boldly.

You keep drinking him as he whines at every swallowing sensation as your throat tightens up around him. He starts on mumbling and blabbering nonsense. All the stuff he couldn't say to you earlier because he was still playing polite.

"Y-You're so beautiful, even when you're in such a slutty outfit you're so cute and pretty and aghh please accept me pleasepleaseplease I'll do anything for you to keep wearing these in front of me hngh-"

He pulls out, realizing that he may have messed up big time. He apologizes profusely, feeling extremely awkward because of the "post-nut clarity" he's been suddenly hit with. He feels stupid and filthy for doing that to you but you reassure him. Telling him you'll look forward to more outfits.

He breathes a sigh of relief before looking at you up and down, his dick rising again. He clears his throat.

"So... c-can I fuck you?"

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me nightbringer #leviathan x y/n #leviathan x reader #om! leviathan #leviathan avatar of envy #leviathan smut #hanaruri writes #it was supposed to be even shorter than this but I jdhdhzyd #sorz

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fortheloveofwonderland · 9 months

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Darkness Declares Glory | Chapter 14 | S.R

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N - this fic deals with some very dark themes such as drug use, self-harm and suicidal ideation. Please proceed with caution and Minors DNI. There is a reader insert but it is very Spencer-centric.

Chapter Summary - Spencer makes a decision regarding Cat. But before he has a chance to follow through he makes a startling realisation that could very well be his undoing.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Warnings - mentions of Cat Adam’s, talk of death penalty, therapy, brief mention of masturbation, swearing.

WC - 4.7k

Chapter 14 - Sympathy for the Devil

Another few days passed and there was still no sign of you. Either this really was all in his head or you were avoiding him. But honestly, Spencer didn’t have any free brain capacity to think about it.

His every waking thought revolved around Cat Adam’s and her death sentence and whether or not he had the strength to see her one last time. He wrote about it extensively in his journal, hoping getting it out of his head and onto paper would help him make sense of it all, but it didn’t.

If I see her then I’m basically admitting defeat, I’m playing my hand and letting her have a front row seat to the destruction she’s caused. There’s no hiding what I am. I can put on a smart suit and wear my best poker face but she’ll see right through me.

Cat always does.

She’ll see it in my eyes, the way she’s broken me beyond repair. She’ll be able to tell the full extent of the damage she’s done to me and I don’t want her to have the satisfaction.

But on the other hand, I’m still alive. I may be barely hanging on by a thread but I am alive. And she’ll be dead soon and a part of me wants her to see that she didn’t ruin me completely.

Just mostly.

One thing I do know absolutely is that this is the most I’ve wanted to relapse in weeks. I would kill a man right now for one more hit, one more shot of dilaudid.

I would wrap my hand around someone’s throat, squeezing until their pulse became thready beneath my fingers and watch as the life drained from their eyes. All for one more release.

That fucking bitch shattered me into so many pieces that I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole again. Yet I’m still thinking about seeing her because for whatever reason, I feel bound to her.

She wasn’t wrong when she said we were the same, prison showed me that I am more like her than I could have ever dreamed. When I hurt those men, when I poisoned the drug supply, I became bound to her in ways I never believed possible.

Maybe because she’s the only one who would understand. She’s the only person who could identify with the fact I liked hurting those men. And somehow that enslaved us. It bonded us in ways deeper than if her baby had been mine.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate her more than I ever thought it possible to hate another human being. I would have killed her with my bare hands if JJ hadn’t stopped me and I would have slept well. But her dying doesn’t change anything. Her dying doesn’t suddenly make me a better person. It won’t change the fact I was in prison, it won’t change the fact I am a drug addict.

Her death won’t make my life better or worse. The damage is already done, there’s no way to change that. But at least if she’s dead she might stop haunting my every dream, worming her way into every facet of my life.

Still, the question remains: am I strong enough to see her one last time before she’s put to death?

Maggie glanced up from the journal in her lap to Spencer who was fiddling with his sleeves and chewing on the inside of his cheek. He’d barely spoken in their sessions for days and he still didn’t want to talk about Cat, but reading his journal would help her get an insight.

“Who is Cat?” She asked placing her hands on the pages as if to absorb more information.

“She’s the reason I went to prison. She was a hitwoman. I outsmarted and arrested her so in return she had me arrested.” Spencer didn’t look at her.

“You know I have more questions, right?”

“I assumed as much. Go ahead.” He grazed his slowly growing nails over the back of his hand, able to scratch himself lightly now.

“You wrote about poisoning a drug supply and hurting people? What happened?” Her fingers drummed lightly on the page.

“I was being threatened in prison. If I didn’t help them move these drugs they would have killed me. I needed to buy myself some time. A lot of men ended up really sick, and I didn’t feel bad for it.” He scuffed his shoe on the carpet, watching the way his foot moved back and forth.

“I imagine it was dog eat dog. You had to look out for yourself.”

Spencer suddenly looked up at her, an almost dangerous look in his eyes.

“You don’t understand.” He frowned. “I wanted to kill those men. And not just for self preservation. I wanted them dead because I wanted to see how it would feel. I only felt bad that they didn’t die.”

He saw Maggie swallow before she tore her eyes off of him and looked back at his journal.

“And you mentioned a baby?” She changed the subject. “A baby that wasn’t yours but it could have been?”

“We never had sex.” He was quick to say. “She uh…she claimed to have me sexually assaulted by her partner but I never believed that was true.”

“Burying your head in the sand?” Maggie narrowed her eyes on him.

“No. The science doesn’t add up. The drugs she used to make me hallucinate flood the brain with serotonin. Its effects are similar to MDMA in that it’s nearly impossible to…uh…” he averted his gaze as his cheeks started to burn. “It’s difficult to get an erection.”

“I see.” Maggie was, as usual, unphased. “So this woman had you arrested and then pretended to be pregnant with your child. It all sounds like a power play.”

“Oh it is. Everything is a game to her. And I’m her pawn.”

“Why are you showing me this?” Maggie closed the journal and focused on him.

He thought it was fairly obvious.

“I need you to tell me what to do. She’s being executed in two weeks and I need to know if I should see her or not.” He continued scratching at the back of his hand. It wasn’t anywhere near as satisfying as when his nails were longer but it helped.

“I can’t tell you what to do, Spencer. That’s a decision you need to make on your own. You say you’re already struggling with your sobriety just thinking about her?”

“Yes.” He grinded his teeth. “Very much so.”

“Well then seeing her will only make that worse, surely?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“But if I don’t see her, she’ll think she’s won. I can’t have her going to her grave thinking she beat me.”

“So maybe you should see her.”

“You’re no help.” He growled.

“I told you, I can’t make this decision for you. Only you can decide if you’re strong enough to handle seeing her.” She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs.

“I don’t think I am.” Spencer huffed. “But I won’t ever get another chance.”

“Think about it. You don’t need to make any rash decisions.”

But Spencer was the king of rash decisions. And so no sooner was he done with his therapy session he found himself at the bank of phones patients were allowed to use, dialling a familiar number. Luke answered on the second ring.

“Luke Alvez.”

“Hi, it’s me. Spencer.” Spencer leant against the wall, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder.

“Hey, is everything ok?” Luke sounded concerned.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He took a breath and closed his eyes. “I want to do it.”

“To do it?” Luke’s frown could be heard down the phone.

“Yes. I want to see Cat before she’s executed.” Even as the words left his lips he wasn’t sure about them.

But he didn’t think he’d ever be sure. He could sit and think about it until he was blue in the face but he’d never be sure what to do either way. He’d regret seeing her and he’d regret not seeing her.

It was a catch twenty-two with no possible good outcome. So ultimately he just had to go with his gut. And his gut told him he needed to see her one last time. Saying it out loud made him instantly wish he had a needle of dilaudid waiting for him.

“You…seriously?” Luke swallowed.

“Yes. I need to prove to her she didn’t break me. I need her to see I’m still standing.” Barely, but I am.

“Ok. If you’re sure.”

He wasn’t sure, not in the slightest. But he was doing it regardless.

“Will you go with me?” Spencer suddenly sounded small and scared.

“Of course I will. We’re away on a case right now but we can do it as soon as I’m back.”

“Thanks Luke. And uh…don’t tell the others. They won’t understand.” Spencer opened his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall.

“I promise. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye.” Spencer hung up the phone, his hand shaking as he did so.

No good could come of him seeing Cat again. He just hoped it wasn’t the final nail in his coffin.

***

Spencer quite often found himself feeling as though he was drowning. Most of the time he barely kept himself afloat, sinking in a pool of his own misery. But actually drowning was a whole other thing.

“Keep kicking! Come on, you can do it!” Nick cheered him on while Spencer frantically waved his arms and tried to keep himself above water.

Now his walking was getting better Nick had suggested swimming to build up his strength. Spencer had never been a fantastic swimmer, but he was ok. He could at the very least stay adrift.

But with his injury, drowning seemed inevitable.

“Kick! Come on Spencer. You’re almost there!”

Spencer flailed his arms hoping he could reach the other side without using his legs too much but it only made his lower half sink and when his lower half sank he started to panic.

His t-shirt clung to his body, the water sodden fabric making him feel heavier. Nick had tried to get him to remove it but Spencer refused. It was bad enough not having trousers and his sweater on.

He needed to regroup. He needed just a second to fail before he could continue. He stilled his movements and let the water encompass him, rising over his head until he was completely submerged.

He told himself he could do this. It was only a few more metres and then he was done. He wasn’t giving up, no matter how much it hurt. He pushed himself back to the surface and inhaled deeply before forcing his legs to kick in time with his arm movements.

He blocked everything else out that didn’t strictly relate to kicking his legs. The side of the pool was getting closer and the burn spread down his thigh but it was a good kind of pain. It was the kind of pain that told him he was achieving something, he would make it to the other side both physically and mentally.

“Come on Spencer! You can do it!” A voice goaded him but it didn’t belong to Nick this time.

He frowned to himself as he pushed himself the last few feet and grasped the wall for dear life. When he wiped the water out of his eyes and the hair back off his face he looked up. You sat on the edge of the pool right in front of him, legs crossed and a proud smile on your face.

“You did it!” You cheered as Spencer just stared at you dumbly.

Soon Nick was by your side, helping Spencer out of the pool.

“That was great!” Nick grinned, helping Spencer sit up as he caught his breath.

He blinked a few times, briefly wondering what it was about Nick he’d thought so similar to Morgan. Sure they looked kinda alike, but not enough for Spencer to have made that connection. He shook his head and looked between you and Nick.

“Uh…you can see her right?” He frowned as he focused on Nick.

“Is that a trick question?” Nick asked in confusion.

“He thinks he’s imagining me.” You spoke with an amused smile. “Tell him he’s not crazy.”

“You’re not crazy.” Nick chuckled, squeezing Spencer’s shoulder. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

His parting gift was to toss a towel at Spencer which he wrapped around his shoulders and obscured himself with. You kicked off your shoes and rolled your jeans up to your calves before dipping your feet in the water.

“So, are you going to stop doubting yourself now?” You smiled while Spencer continued to stare at you.

“Never.” He scoffed, with a roll of his eyes which made you giggle. “I wish it were that simple.”

You stopped giggling at the change in his tone and narrowed your eyes on him. He hugged the towel close to him as though it was a security blanket. His wet hair fell on his forehead and small beads of water rolled down his face. His eyes were full of nerves the way they always seemed to be around you.

“The paranoia that comes with heavy drug use takes a while to kick.” You shuffled a little closer to him and you practically saw the beat his heart skipped.

“The thing is,” he chewed on his lip. “I don’t want you to be real.”

“Uh…wow thanks.” Your eyebrows knitted together.

“I don’t mean it how it sounds.” He was quick to counter. “It’s just…if you’re real…you’re not who I thought you were.”

You mused over his words for a moment knowing he wasn’t about to say anymore on the matter.

“You’re very cryptic sometimes, you know that?” Your lip up tugged at the corner.

“It’s all part of my mysterious charm.” He chuckled lightly.

You couldn’t agree more. There was something about him. Something you couldn’t put your finger on. Something that made you want to succumb to him, let him consume you.

You shuffled even closer and leant forward, placing your hands on his wet thighs. You saw his breath catch in his throat as you edged closer to him. Goosebumps flared on his flesh as you ghosted your fingertips over his skin.

He let go of the towel and his hands settled onto your waist but his eyes never left yours. You moved closer still, until your noses were brushing against one another’s.

He swallowed hard, completely engulfed in you. He could see every little freckle, every little blemish that graced your beautiful face and he tried to memorise every single one of them. He could feel the heat emanating from you and it wrapped around him, comforting him in ways he’d never felt before.

Your eyes fell to his lips and he instinctively ran his tongue along them. Your hands moved up his sides and your arms wrapped around his neck. He wanted to get lost in you. He wanted to throw caution to the wind and let you devour him. He wanted to belong to you again in the ways he’d missed so much.

Even if you weren’t real. Even if none of this was real. It was even more reason to take the plunge wasn’t it? But for some reason he couldn’t. He let his hands drop to his sides and his back straightened a little but you stayed close, clearly not sensing his hesitation.

“W-what are you doing?” He whispered, his breath fanning across your face.

“I don’t know.” You giggled lightly.

“You said…recovery. Your recovery comes first.” His breathing was heightened and he could so easily crash his lips against yours.

But he didn’t. Instead, he surprised you both when he sat back and shuffled away.

“It does.” You frowned. “But I…well now I just feel stupid.”

Spencer sighed and wrapped the towel around himself again.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel stupid. I just…you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you, Y/N. But you and I both know it’s not a good idea. Not like this.”

You chewed on your bottom lip and nodded although you weren’t sure you agreed.

“I’m scared too.” You blurted out, averting your gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“You said you were scared that this isn’t real, but I’m scared that it is.” You glanced back at him and he saw the tears behind your eyes. “In my experience fantasies last. Realities don’t.”

“Agreed.” He gave you a tight lip smile. “Maybe it’s better we just keep the fantasy a little while longer then.”

You nodded before pushing yourself up to your feet and then helped Spencer stand too. The sparks you felt when you took hold of his hands was undeniable, and judging by the way he looked at you, he felt them too.

You stayed in silence as you walked back towards your rooms but it was a heavy, palpable kind of silence. When you reached Spencer’s room you stopped and smiled softly at him.

“So do I get to see you flail about like a dying fish again tomorrow?” You teased him but Spencer didn’t seem in the least bit amused.

His back straightened and he tugged the towel tighter around his body.

“Uh…I’ve actually got a thing tomorrow.”

“A thing?” You frowned a little.

“Day release.” He sighed as he spoke.

“You got some big fancy plans?” You chuckled but he shook his head sadly.

“No.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair. “I need to visit someone.”

“Someone? Someone important?”

“I wouldn’t say that.” He sighed again, louder than before. “I’m visiting a prison inmate before their execution. I’m visiting the woman who ruined my life.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. Clearly he didn’t want to elaborate and it wasn’t your place to make him.

“Right. Ok.” You nodded, not wanting to pry.

“It’s a really long and messy story I don’t want to get into right now.”

“Fair enough.” You smiled a little as you stepped backwards. “I hope it goes…well? Not really sure what to say.”

“Me too.” He half-smiled, reaching for his door handle. “I’ll see you soon?”

“You surely will.” You smiled one last time before turning on your heels and continuing down the corridor.

Spencer heaved a sigh as he let himself into his room and collapsed on his bed. Tomorrow was going to be his hardest challenge yet. Coming face to face with Cat again would either make or break his recovery.

Although he already had a pretty good idea which one it would be.

***

He was silent for the entire car ride from PIW to Mount Pleasant. Luke tried making small talk but after getting nothing in return he gave up.

Luke had brought him a suit from his apartment along with a white shirt and red tie. It had been weeks since Spencer had dressed so well and admittedly he missed his comfy clothes he’d grown so accustomed to. The shirt felt scratchy against his still healing wounds. The tie felt like a noose around his neck.

He stared out the car window and scratched the back of his palm willing his nails to grow so he could pick at his skin. His chest was tight as though someone were sitting on it, like the weight of the situation was physical and pressing down on him.

He came close to several panic attacks, only just managing to pull himself back from the brink in time. Diverting from his scratching his fingers nimbly shimmied up his shirt sleeve and gripped the crook of his arm. The track marks had all but faded by now but he could feel the heavy pulse of his vein beneath his fingertips.

He pressed against it, wishing more than anything else that it was a needle and not his fingers. He squeezed against his vein in the hopes it would alleviate some of his cravings.

Maggie would tell him to masturbate. But even if he weren’t in a car with Luke in a completely inappropriate environment, he was sure his thoughts of his impending meeting would not allow for him to get it up. Instead he pressed harder against his vein, closing his eyes and imagining the dilaudid coursing its way through his body.

He envisioned the feeling of euphoria that flooded over him when he shot up. He remembered the sensation so well.With his eyes closed he didn’t realise Luke was watching him out of the corner of his eye. And when he felt a hand on his leg he jumped and his eyes darted open.

“We can still turn back. If this is too much for you?” Luke spoke softly.

Spencer recoiled his hand back out of his sleeve and shook his head. He had to do this. There was no turning back.

***

A shiver passed down Spencer’s spine as they stepped inside the women's correctional facility. His temperature plummeted the second the doors were closed behind them. He glanced at Luke who didn’t seem to notice, telling Spencer it was all in his head. Most things these days were, why should this be any different?

They were checked in and scanned by a metal detector where Luke had to hand over his service weapon and cell phone. Spencer remembered it well. He recalled coming here that day he was released from Milburn as though it was yesterday.

He recognised the long, dimly lit halls as they followed the guard to an interrogation room. The air was as thick and heavy as it had been the last time he was here. The last time he was here when Cat made him believe she was pregnant with his child. The last time when she’d made him think she’d had his mother killed.

The last time when he’d thrown a table across the room and shoved Cat against a wall by her throat. The last time when he’d growled at her that he was going to kill her while JJ tried to pull him off of her.

The guard silently led them to the small viewing room where Luke was supposed to wait while Spencer came face to face with the devil. The guard left them alone and Spencer kept his eyes trained on the floor, refusing to look at her through the two way glass. Luke was at his side and he soon felt the other man’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s ok, I’ll be right here the whole time.” Luke whispered but Spencer shook his head.

“I need you to leave.” Spencer croaked out the first words he’d spoken since leaving the institute.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well I don’t very much care what you think, Luke.” Spencer looked at him, eyes filled with anger. “I need you to leave. Go get a coffee or something but I do not want you witnessing this.”

“Witnessing what, exactly?” Luke raised an eyebrow at him. “You going to finish the job you started last time? Choke her to death?”

“I don’t need to, do I? She’s going to be put to death soon. I just need you to trust me and I need you to leave. Please?” Spencer grinded his teeth.

A small part of Luke worried what might happen if he left. A tiny piece of him actually believed Spencer might kill her. And as much as Luke wouldn’t blame him for doing so, he didn’t want his friend going back to prison. Spencer couldn’t handle prison again.

“Promise me you won’t murder her?”

“I promise.” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Come find me when you’re done.” Luke patted his back before skeptically leaving the room.

Once alone, Spencer took several deep breaths whilst rolling the purple and gold bracelet around his wrist. He kept his eyes trained on the floor the whole while, scared that he might break the second he saw her.

His heart beat furiously against his chest making him feel a little nauseous. His vein in his left arm felt like it was pulsating, begging for drugs. He was five weeks sober. This would not be the thing that pushed him over the edge. She couldn’t turn his life upside down again. He had to be stronger. He had to survive this. He had to prove to her that she hadn’t destroyed his life.

Taking one last deep breath he forced his eyes up and through the glass. The breath got caught in his chest as he laid eyes on her for the first time in over two years. She looked much the same, haggard and tired; fed up and frustrated.

She crossed one leg over the other and picked at a thread on her orange jumpsuit much like he did when he was uncomfortable. He gave a thought to what might have happened to her baby, the baby that wasn’t his but he had wished was.

“You’re not pregnant with my baby. That isn’t the secret. It’s too easy.” He slid the chair back out and sat down opposite her again.

“You think getting pregnant with your baby was easy?” She clicked her tongue.

“It’s not my baby.” He shook his head, leaning forward on the table closer to her. “But I wish it were. It should be mine. Because the truth is you and I probably belong together.”

A sentimental smile plastered across her face but he knew it wasn’t genuine. Sociopaths didn’t feel sentiment.

“You think so?”

He leaned even closer to her, not wanting JJ to overhear what he was going to say and hardly believing what he was saying himself.

“I do.” He confessed. “You’re the only person who really gets me. You’re the only person who understands that I liked hurting those men. So yes, I think you and I belong together. In some fucked up, twisted way, you and I are perfect for each other.

And I wish your baby was mine but it isn’t. I wish it were mine so I had something tying us together. And that fucking terrifies me to admit because for the most part, I hate you. For the most part I want you dead. But there is a small part of me that truly believes we are perfect for each other.”

He sat back, straightening his tie while Cat looked at him amusement.

“You’ll always be tied to me, Spencie. Baby or no baby. We’re bound to each other. We’re the same.”

He rubbed his eyes with his palms trying to rid himself of the memory of the last time he’d seen her. It didn’t do him any good to dwell on that now.

Only he couldn’t help himself.

Had he been thinking of you when he’d said those things to her? As much he wanted to deny it, he’d meant those things he’d said.

But what about you? You were who he belonged with. How could he have said those things to Cat and meant them while you were…

…while you were, what?

It all hit Spencer at lightning speed. The puzzle pieces that were his life started slotting into place right in front of his eyes. Everything became clear with startling clarity and suddenly Cat Adam’s was the last thing on his mind.

He quickly darted from the room, heart racing more fiercely than it ever had before. It all made sense yet nothing made sense. And there was only one goddamn person who was going to be able to provide clarity on the situation.

He was hyperventilating by the time he found Luke, sweating and shaking and barely able to breath. Luke was quick to his side, wrapping an arm around him and stroking his back.

“Reid, what’s wrong? What happened?” Luke panicked, eyes wide in fear.

“Need…need to…” Spencer choked out through ragged breaths.

“Just breath, Spencer. Don’t try and talk.” Luke tried to calm him but Spencer pushed him away.

“No.” He shook his head, forcing himself to focus on his words. “I need to speak to Emily right now. You get her here Luke. Get her here right fucking now!”

“Spencer, calm down. Take deep breaths.”

“No!” Spencer raised his voice. “Call Emily and tell her to come here. NOW!”

“Spencer, what’s going on? What happened?” Luke reached for him but Spencer batted him away.

“It’s time Emily and I had a talk.” He panted. “It’s time for her to tell me the truth about Y/N.”

@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @dirtytissuebox @dreatine @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @people-whatabunchofbastards @justreadingficsdontmindme @spencer-reid-wonderland @thebloomingeagle @tiredmilky @thatsonezesty13 @1mechanicalalligator @elle-28

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/m #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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comphy-and-cozy · 8 months

Text

must've made a mistake - jt compher

Pairing: JT Compher x Reader (f)

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: Suggestive/adult content (18+ recommended), discussions about sex/sexual implications, alcohol use/consumption, even more insanity than last time. Still a medium burn/banter that's basically foreplay but no actual sexy times (sorry I know it hurts me too).

part 1 | series masterlist | nhl masterlist | part 3

August 2023

The dull roar of people chattering surrounds you, speakers lowly playing some top-100 hit with a beat. It’s ignored, just background music amid the dusk sky and twinkle lights strewn among the rafters above you.

It’s August in Detroit, meaning the air is sticky and humid, and everyone is on some form of patio or rooftop drinking on this Friday night. You’re at your favorite local watering hole with a few friends, celebrating the end of another work week. The cowl neck tank you have on is thin, but your skin is still hot beneath the silk fabric. Fortunately, the sangria in your glass is perfect and the very light breeze wafting through the patio feels like heaven.

You’re on your way back from the bathroom when you see the flash of auburn hair. Your heart does a flip, suddenly pulsing faster in your chest, and you slip back to your table with a smile. With a glance back to confirm the ivory skin and thick, russet beard, you feel your heart flutter. Of course you saw he signed with the Red Wings; how could you not? His name was one of the hottest to come out of free agency, all of the chatter and podcasts hosts repeating his name over and over again to make sure you never forgot the time that JT Compher bought you a drink.

It also brought back memories of the time you drunkenly told JT Compher that you wrote fanfic about him. Smutty fanfiction. And then left him standing helplessly in that Denver bar, running away with your heart pounding in your chest.

You regretted it as soon as the door shut behind you, the opportunity already vanished like it never existed in the first place. Still, you never forgot a single detail about that night, about the way he gazed at you and the low, sultry purr of his voice; you’re pretty sure if you hadn’t been an absolute coward, it would’ve been one of the best nights of your life, and, quite possibly, the best sex of your life. The thought still brings a dull pulse between your legs, kicking yourself for ruining a literal dream.

But there he is, in the flesh, and for a moment your mind flits to wonder if this could be a second chance. It’s been almost two years since your run-in, an entire championship under his belt in that time. Not only will he surely not remember you, but who knows what’s changed for him—things have certainly changed for you.

Except your burning desire for him. That has never wavered; if anything, it grew, once you learned what his hot breath felt like against your skin and the way it felt to make him laugh at something you said. Even though your following of the sport diminished due to shifting priorities, you’ve found those warm, hickory eyes appear in your dreams just often enough to ensure that he’s never too far removed from your mind.

Unfortunately, there’s also the regrettable factor that you wrote—with vivid detail—about having sex with him. He’d said he was flattered, but was he just being polite, not wanting to embarrass you? You remember the way his eyes poured into yours, the flash in them when he probed for more details, the way they warmed you from the inside out, and the flicker of hope flashes ever so quickly. He’s here, in Detroit, for five years, you think, so there’s plenty of time to see what might unfold.

You don’t have to wait long to see, for not an hour later he’s sidling up next to you at the bar with a look that tells you he remembers exactly who you are. Like maybe he never forgot a single detail about you, either.

“You stalking me now?”

A smirk forms on his face at his own joke, and you return a smile, adding smoothly, “I was here first, Compher. So I could ask you the same question.”

He laughs at your quip and shrugs noncommittally. “I plead the fifth.”

“You’re the one who signed in Detroit. Long-term. After I told you where I was from.”

“You caught me,” he says, a faux confession paired with hands held up. But then, his cool demeanor flickers ever so slightly as his third seltzer starts to hit his system. “I’m not—I wasn’t stalking you, but I have been hoping I’d run into you.”

Your heart flutters at his admission. “Is that so?”

He pauses as he debates what he wants to say next, and your eyes are drawn to the way his tongue darts out to run along his bottom lip, a shine remaining even as his tongue disappears back into his mouth. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and you can’t remember how you got here. You really can’t remember much outside of the thick, red beard, perfectly manicured, shrouding around his perfect, full lips—

“I found it.” His voice pulls you from your introspection, and you’re thankful and simultaneously hopeful he didn’t notice you staring.

Stealing one last glance at his lips, you rack your brain to conjure whatever it was that he said to you a moment ago. If he notices your pause, he doesn’t say anything.

“Found what?”

“Your—what is it called?—your fanfiction.”

Your heart freezes and sinks in an instant, mortification settling into your bones. You weren’t expecting that to come up so quickly into your reunion, foolishly hoping that maybe he’d forgotten about that detail. Surely, you think, he’s about to pull a restraining order out of his pocket and ban you from ever coming to a Red Wings—no, scratch that, any NHL game again.

JT chuckles; your face must have betrayed your emotion. “Relax. I’m not mad or weirded out or anything.”

“Oh,” is all you can say, your brain entirely short circuiting as he thrives off of your discomfort, leaning in closer until you can feel the whiskers of his beard tickling the shell of your ear.

“Actually, I thought it was really hot.”

He what?

You swallow, hardly believing what you heard come out of his mouth; in fact, you’re sure that you misheard him, the noise from the patrons around you drowning out his voice. Words have completely slipped from your mind, the ability to speak vanished in an instant. Surely this is all just a horrific prank and he’ll laugh at you for even believing it, hidden cameras ready to embarrass you into oblivion.

But the laughter never comes, nor the cameras, instead a gentle but confident touch to the back of your arm that lights you on fire. It’s only when your breath hitches in your throat that a smile forms on his face, lips curling upward against your ear.

“You—you did?” you finally manage to choke out, only then realizing that you haven’t actually responded to his admission.

He hums and nods, pulling away as you do your best to gasp for air without it being obvious that your lungs are screaming, heart thumping rapidly against your sternum. “But I do have to say, you got a few things wrong.”

“W–wrong?”

The color of his eyes have turned into the most delicious shade of rich brown, swimming with warmth and no shortage of hunger. He holds your gaze intently, as if he wants you to see, and get the feeling that he’s reading into your soul. It’s unnerving and incredibly sexy, joke or not.

“I would use my fingers and then my mouth to make my girl come,” he says, as smoothly as if he was asking you to pass the salt at the dinner table. Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head before he adds, “But you were right that I would make sure my cum is dripping down her leg.”

At that moment, you’re positive that your brain stops working altogether. The drink you’re sipping on goes down the wrong pipe, and suddenly you’re spluttering in shock. JT hardly reacts, just chuckles slightly to himself, almost like he’s expecting your reaction. In fact, he seems to be flourishing under your bewilderment.

A few loud, embarrassing coughs later, all you can manage is, “Oh.”

“And before you ask, it wasn’t necessarily a factor in my signing with Detroit, but I won’t lie that I did think about you afterwards. Wondered if I’d see you again, somewhere.”

A second bullet, straight to your chest, shock blooming in its wake. He had thought about you? He remembered you?

“You’re cute when you’re confused.”

A third bullet. Call the ambulance. Alert the authorities. Cardiac arrest is surely not far away, not if he keeps making admissions that are more shocking than pigs flying.

Finally, your senses find their way back to you, like a cold splash of water to pull you out of your daze. “Okay, so when does Ashton Kutcher come out?”

He laughs at your Punk’d reference, all teeth and the sound syncing with the beat of your heart. “Why do you think you’re being pranked?”

“Because guys like you… they don’t–” you stutter, gesturing lamely between the two of you in lieu of saying, ‘Guys like you don’t go for girls like me.’

“Why not?” he poses, as if he’s privy to the thoughts in your head, and another wave of embarrassment washes over you as you imagine him reading all of the explicit thoughts running through your mind. “You’re beautiful.”

“Okay, first off, you’re not supposed to have this much rizz,” you say. “It’s not fair.”

Another laugh that cuts at the edges of your soul, simmering the heat in your chest. There’s a beat of silence, a pregnant pause that holds so much more than you can even fathom.

“You gonna come home with me this time?” he asks. His eyes glitter as he teases you, subtle and comfortable.

“Do you even have a home yet?”

Maybe—okay, definitely—you’re deflecting, but you’re enjoying the banter, liquid courage giving you more confidence to tease him back. Even more than that, you’re enjoying the feeling of making him laugh, prepared to say anything to keep his eyes on you, enveloping you in warmth that you’re pretty sure has nothing to do with the sangria. The look in his eyes makes you shiver, wanting to bathe in the feeling it casts over you.

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

You look at him, eyebrow raised, expectantly waiting for more. Then his expression turns bashful, and he says, “Okay, so I’m staying in Larks’ spare bedroom while I wait for my apartment lease to start next month. So technically I didn’t lie.”

“Big bucks Compher can’t cough up the cash to buy a house, huh?”

He snorts into his drink, shaking his head as he laughs. “I don’t know the area outside of Ann Arbor and where I’ve stayed for games. Could use a tour guide, actually.”

The implication is clear, hanging like a big, shiny mistletoe between you. He looks at you hopefully, waiting for you to take the bait.

“And you want me to be your tour guide, I’m guessing?”

JT shrugs, sending you the most innocent look he can muster. “I mean, I’m not going to say no to having a pretty girl show me around my new city.”

You shake your head with a laugh, doing mental gymnastics to come to terms with what he’s saying: he wants to see you again, wants to spend time with you outside of a dimly-lit bar or a sterile, modest fan event. You’re not even going to address him calling you pretty for the second time.

“I’ll consider it,” you reply in your best nonchalant attempt. Against your better judgment, unable to resist, you ask, “What’s in it for me?”

He smirks, and you can practically see all of the filthy thoughts running through his mind. He holds his cards close to his chest, though, instead tossing the ball back in your court, like he’s testing to see if you’ll play. “What do you want?”

At his question, your mind is surely echoing the same ideas he has: flashes of bare skin, heated kisses, whispers of his name in the darkness. You feel another pulse between your legs at the mental image it draws. “What a loaded question, Compher.”

JT smiles into his drink, debating his next step. There’s a beat while he waits for you to contemplate, but no words come out—you can’t give in, not yet.

“Would it help if I told you something I’m embarrassed to admit too?”

Oh. He’s good. And it would, you admit, help to even the playing field. So you nod, yes, and he smiles in a way that tells you he was hoping you’d agree, that he has something he wants to share with you.

With a dramatic glance around, he leans in closer to you, the scruff of his beard sliding against your cheek. His cologne is the same, that same delicious and woody scent that instantly has moisture pooling between your thighs. It’s the depth of his voice that nearly makes your legs buckle first, and then you’re registering what he said.

“I jerked off to what you wrote.”

Your heart lurches in your chest, belly doing a triple-axle flip before heat courses through your body. The sound of his low chuckle is in your ear, and you realize your hand is gripping his bicep to hold yourself upright. And damn, if it doesn’t feel even better than you expected beneath your fingertips; strong and firm and something you want to see bracketed around your head while he—

“Can I tell you one more?” he asks, and you’re nodding so fast you want to kick yourself, but you can’t help it. You’re completely under his spell, all willpower marching out the door; you’d jump off a bridge if he asked you to.

“I thought about you.”

The whimper that leaves your throat is involuntary, stomach lurching, and you can feel the way his lips curl on his face at your reaction.

“So is that a yes?” he asks. Then his confidence falters slightly, his eyes darting around. “You don’t–you’re not–you’re not seeing someone, are you?”

It takes you a moment to regain the strength of your voice, still completely struck by what he said. How could he possibly behave normally when he’d just flipped your entire world upside down and set it on fire?

“No,” you shake your head after a moment to get your words together. “No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

JT hums in approval, his hand lingering on your waist even when he pulls away to sip at his drink. The fairy lights on the patio have turned on, glowing in the now-dark sky, and the hue illuminates the gold in his hair. He’s handsome, even more so now than he was before, maybe now that he has the confidence of winning a Stanley Cup. Or maybe it’s just the way he’s looking at you, like he’d devour you right now on the spot if you let him. You would, if he asked.

Another beat passes before you’re nodding, finally, agreeing wordlessly—to everything. For real this time. “I do have one caveat, though.”

“What’s that?” There’s a flash in his eyes, brief, that says, anything.

“Your tour of Detroit starts tonight, because, no offense to Dylan, I’m not going back to his house to… well. I’m just not.”

He grins, filling in the blanks of your pause, pleased that he’s been successful in his endeavor; you try not to think about the last time you agreed to leave a bar with him. “Deal.”

A little while later, your drink is finished and your heart is beating in your throat at the prospect of the rest of the evening, half expecting him to bail on you, the way you bailed on him. He doesn’t, instead introduces you to the guys he came with, and you smile shyly, hoping that he didn’t tell them everything. The look on Dylan’s face when JT tells him he won’t be home tonight makes you want to hide yourself behind his large frame, allowing the heat in your cheeks to consume you until you melt into the floor. His eyes flick to yours with a knowing smirk, all too pleased that his friend is getting a proper welcome to Detroit.

Your friends react less, a nod and a practiced smile after you give them the code word for, ‘I’m going home with this guy and I’m good.’ You watch Kelly’s eyes flick to JT standing behind you, closing his tab, and she sends you a glance of approval.

It isn’t long before you’re on the sidewalk, the door closing behind JT in a strange display of finality as the loud chatter from inside the bar gets shut in. Suddenly, standing beside him is so much more intimate in the quiet street, without the other people and noise surrounding you in a comfort you hadn’t realized you needed.

JT pulls out his phone, seemingly unfazed by the change. “Should I call an Uber?”

“I’m actually only a few blocks away,” you explain. “Besides, you asked me to be your tour guide, didn’t you?”

His phone is pocketed with a smirk, and he gestures for you to lead the way. You’re nervous, more than you were inside, feeling the way he steps into stride beside you. His feet are heavier on the ground than yours, his gait much wider, though he slows his pace to match yours.

Unable to bear the silence—comfortable though it is—you point to the buildings around you, showing him where some of the best restaurants and bars are, briefly touching on some of the history of the city with your explanation. His eyes take in everything you’re showing, listening attentively, and you almost stop dead in your tracks when you feel his hand graze yours, loosely entwining your fingers together. The action nearly makes your heart melt, suddenly faced with an onslaught of not just lustful feelings, but romantic ones as well.

This bitchy ginger is going to be the death of me.

The rest of the walk back to your apartment is pleasant, nice even, though it affords you the opportunity to fantasize what it’d be like to do this with him every night, his warm hand in yours as he tells you about his day.

As you step in front of him to badge into the door to your apartment, feeling his gaze on your ass, you remind yourself that there won’t be an every night; there’s only going to be one night, so you better make it one to remember.

Tag list: @somuchf4rstardust @smileysvech @senditcolton @fallinallincurls

#jt compher fic #jt compher imagine #nhl imagine #hockey fic #nhl fic #jt compher fanfic #jt compher x reader #a dream come true

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sitp-recs · 10 months

Note

Liv!! Idk if your age gap anon got back to you but I’ll take any age gap fics you have 👀

Hi Danni! I haven’t heard back from them but your wish is my command 😌💜 since I already did rec lists for some age gap ships like Dralbus and Scarry, I’ve decided to make this one about the age difference element itself (Daddy kink, loss of virginity, teacher/student dynamic etc etc) if that makes sense? Happy Friday everyone!

Drarry:

Draco at Nineteen by birdsofshore (E, 5k)

It's the middle of the night and Harry Potter is sitting on my bed looking distinctly weird. I've had some fucked-up dreams in my time, but this one... this one is something new.

Not Nineteen Forever by @sorrybutblog (E, 6k)

A rogue charm hits on a mission and suddenly, Draco is nineteen again. Harry is still thirty-five and doing his best to look after his de-aged Auror partner (and forget about his long unrequited crush) until St. Mungo’s can brew the antidote.

The Eighth Tale by lettered (E, 12k)

Draco Malfoy tries to fix the past, but instead mucks it up some more. For Harry, it all becomes quite clear.

Just a Matter of Time by @gracerene (E, 23k)

Draco's in a bit of a rut. He's nearing forty, divorced, and he still can't figure out how to make his Time Turner reconstruction work. He's bored, he can admit it, so he's not nearly as concerned as he should be when his pet project malfunctions and sends him twenty years into the past.

Fast Forward, Two Steps Back by emmagrant01 (E, 36k)

Everyone knows that Draco Malfoy died in the Room of Requirement ten years ago. So when he suddenly reappears at Hogwarts ten years later, still seventeen years old, Professor Harry Potter's life gets very complicated.

Rare pair:

Rise and Shine by tamlane (E, 2.5k) - Hermione/Teddy

It’s too early to fight off Teddy Lupin’s wandering hands. Not that Hermione tries very hard any other time of the day.

Beneath a Foreign Moon by @lqtraintracks (E, 2.7k) - Harry/Teddy

Harry visits Teddy in the middle of the night.

Getting Hard by Snegurochka (E, 3.3k) - Harry/Scorpius

Scorpius always preferred to do it now, now, and then maybe again in twenty minutes, but Harry took forever. Slowly, though, Scorpius is beginning to see the appeal of being patient.

Slip Free of My Grasp by @lqtraintracks (E, 3.4k) - Harry/Sirius

I don't want to be bad for him. I want to do bad things and still be, somehow, inexplicably, good.

Simple As It Is, Complicated As You Need by @lqtraintracks (E, 3.4k) - Harry/Teddy

It's not something they do often, this whole 'Daddy' thing. But to be fair, they don't even have regular sex as often as Teddy would like either. It's not as though they've even admitted they're doing anything.

A Carnival Mirror by secretsalex (E, 3.4k) - Draco/Albus

Albus Severus is nothing like his father. It’s all those differences that Draco can’t stop thinking about.

Mothering Sunday by pauraque (T, 3.6k) - Astoria/Narcissa

Narcissa always wanted a little girl of her own, and Astoria never really had a proper Mum. Together they build something that neither of them ever knew was possible.

Home for the Holidays by @gracerene (E, 4k) - Charlie/James

Charlie was expecting a normal holiday season at home, surrounded by food, laughter, and the warm embrace of family. He didn't count on James taking that last bit quite so literally.

A Bigger Splash by @wolfpants (E, 7k) - Draco/Albus

It's his dad's 45th birthday in rural Sicily, and all Albus wants is to be seen by Draco Malfoy.

The Moral Dilemma of Sharing by carpemermaid (E, 7.7k) - Draco/Harry/Scorpius

After a handful of coincidental run-ins and a half-joking suggestion Draco and Scorpius had formed the habit of cruising together for wizards to pull on the weekends.

To Me You Are the Sea by marguerite_26 (E, 8.5k) - Harry/Scorpius

Scorpius dreaded attending Harry Potter's fiftieth birthday party for more reasons than he cared to admit.

Take Him to the Stars (Cut to the Feeling) by @writcraft (E, 10k) - Harry/Scorpius

Scorpius has a thing for older men. For one older man, in particular.

Unguarded by birdsofshore (E, 15k) - Draco/Albus

Staying with Scorpius for the first time proves to be more eventful than Albus expected, right from the moment when he walks in on Mr Malfoy shaving.

Team Players by @shiftylinguini (E, 15k) - Teddy/James, Oliver/James

Everyone has that one celebrity they’d move heaven and earth to get between their legs, and James Potter is no exception. He just never anticipated that number one on his Freebie List would end up in the same room as him, let alone would make the first move. But lucky for James, Teddy is a team player―well, he probably is, especially with what James is suggesting.

Possibly, Maybe by Curlee_Cue (E, 72k) - Harry/Scorpius

“A hand carefully brushed Scorpius’ hair out of his eyes and turned his head to face his rescuer. And of course, who else would it be, but Harry Potter? Once just an abstract legend, now his very own personal saviour.”

#asks #danpuff #age gap reclist #drarry & rare pairs

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mandu-17 · 9 months

Text

Always been you part 2 | Kim Minnie x reader

Part 1

Warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of cheating

Genre: ANGST, a tiny little bit of fluff at the end

Wordcount: ~ 3,322

A/N: guys go read some regular books as well

If time machine did exist, you were certainly the one who'd feel its’ magic. The kiss took you back in time. It turned your whole world upside down. All these years of heartbreak, constant pain, loneliness and naive expecting seemed to simply disappear. One quick snap, just like hypnosis.

Immediately, you dropped the broom, not caring about the noise it made when hitting the ground. Thankfully, no one seemed to hear. You smoothly wrapped your arms around Minnie’s small waist and pulled her in, incredibly close. She clung to you, her shaky hands gripped your shirt almost as if she was scared that you’ll disappear any second. Your sweet smell entered her nostrils - Minnie felt like she was dreaming and just had to make sure you really were there with her. The moment felt too good to be true. The way your lips moved against hers, your delicate fingers stroking her hair, the feeling of your breaths fanning her skin. It seemed, as if nothing changed at all. Those goosebumps that Minnie was always able of providing were still there. The little breaths and hums she’d release against your lips from time to time also were still present. You felt your heart clench at how adorable this woman, not a teenager anymore, behaved in front of you.

Eventually once both of you had to get some air, Minnie pulled away just a little bit while resting her forehead on yours. Panting, she admired your features up close with her finger gently tracing your jawline. Even if you wanted to say something, you truly became speechless under her soft gaze, proximity didn’t help either. So you just stood there unable to move, letting her do whatever she wished to. Her loving, shining eyes remained the same, only her cheekbones stood out a bit more because of all the weight she’d lost as an idol.

Suddenly, Minnie visibly saddened.

“What about Rosé?”

That was an excellent question. You had no idea, you realized, as you anxiously paced in circles at the airport in Bangkok. Only few more minutes were on your way of finding out though. It was only a matter of time until Rosé would make her way out of the plane and greet you.

As every other time, she had no problem with spotting you in the crowded room. It just felt so natural for her eyes to find yours. She used to often joke about how you were a literal magnet for her ever since the day you met.

Your heart broke the moment Rosé beamed at you from afar, before speeding in your direction with arms wide open. A lump formed in your throat, seeing Rosé in person after what you’d done - only now it made you truly realize how much you’d lost.

“What’s going on?” She asked stopping in front of you and noticing your watery eyes.

Since you wanted to get this off your chest, as soon as possible, you didn’t really hesitate.

“I kissed Minnie.” You looked down. “I guess I never stopped loving her.”

Silence.

“So I really came back for nothing, huh?” Rosé heavily sat down on the bench.

You glanced up to see her face. There was this emptiness in her eyes, as she was looking into the distance, trying to put pieces together. You expected her to get angry and yell, maybe even make a scene and slap you in the face - do anything.

Anything would be better than the sight you were met with. She looked broken on the inside.

“What do you mean for nothing? What about work?” You asked confused.

“I got a better job offer back in Australia. My aunt is retiring and leaving to the States. She offered me to manage her guesthouse.” Rosé was toying with her fingers. “I came back to ask you to do it with me.”

“Rosie-” You gasped with wide eyes.

This was so bad.

“But I guess the offer is no longer available.” In a sudden, fast move Rosé got a hold of her suitcase and walked passed you towards the exit door.

“Rosé, wait-” You felt this need to say something more, to apologize- you tried stopping her by grabbing her wrist, but she quickly brushed you off. “Leave me alone, Y/N.” With her cold voice she made you shiver. Rosé’s eyes were filled with agony, no matter how hard she tried to camouflage it with anger, you saw beneath it. You saw the hurt written all over her face. “I really can’t look at you right now.”

You had no choice but to accept her decision. It was you that fucked up after all.

Two hours later, you found yourself at a small bar located right next to the beach. Lisa, sitting in front of you, tried to come up with any advise for you given your situation.

“I do like Rosé, you know that. But she’s just... Not Minnie.” Lisa shook her head gently while toying with the straw of her drink. Her shoulder length hair was delicately blew by the sea breeze, her brows remained furrowed, as she tried to find the right words.

“Shit, I’m not even sure how to explain it, but just- Like in my head, whenever I think of you, I think of Minnie as well. And when I think of Minnie, you’re there too.” Lisa’s shining eyes met your eyes, she was determined to make you understand her point of view. “It’s almost like you two are glued together. Like you’re always holding hands in my mind, exchanging looks. Like a fucking magnet that just stays together no matter what, you know?.”

You made a grimace at the word ‘magnet’.

“Rosé said something about magnets too.” You mumbled before emptying your drink and gesticulating to the waiter for a refill.

Lisa sighed and you didn’t blame her. If you were her, you’d be sick of your friends too. Nevertheless, she grabbed her drink, quickly chugged it down, slightly wincing at its’ taste and joined you in waiting for another glass. You’d jump into flames for Lisa Manoban.

“So, Yuqi and you, huh?”

You began when young waiter set your drinks on the table. Lisa pressed lips together, at first refusing to look you in the eyes.

“Come on, you know everything about my fucked up situation! It’s your turn now, spill.”

She giggled, but nodded in agreement. It was only fair if she shared her thoughts as well.

“We didn’t do anything.” There was this coy glimpse in her eyes, she was smiling, but it looked like she was talking about high school crush or maybe even elementary crush. This innocent, but still satisfied look on her face suited her a lot. It made her look younger. “It was incredible to get to know her more and talk to her throughout the whole night. We had a great time together and there was this vibe like we knew each other already. We joked so much and immediately bonded. I mean Yuqi’s probably the coolest person I’ve ever met, no offence.”

“None taken.” You chuckled at how animatedly Lisa was speaking all of the sudden.

“But I didn’t have the courage to make a move.” She looked down for a second. “Can you believe it?! Me?! Lalisa Manoban Being shy?”

You both burst out laughing.

“That truly is unbelievable.” You took a sip. “But I think it only proves how much you like her. You were simply scared of messing up. That’s very cute of you.”

“Y/N, stop it.” She wasn’t amused.

“No, really. Next time you have to ask her out or at least get her number.” You continued with your nagging. Oh, how nice it felt to finally be the one giving advises.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Despite her voice, there was this goofy smile playing on her lips, as she glanced at the beach. Lisa took a deep breath before speaking again, this time she was far more serious. “Do you think there will be ‘next time’?”

You sighed.

“I’m afraid so.”

The weather that day in park was a huge opposite to what both Rosé and you were feeling. It was another extremely hot and sunny afternoon with no single cloud up in the sky which was the color of baby blue.

It took four long days after landing in Bangkok for Rosé to reply to your messages. You were begging her to give you a chance at explaining yourself, although a part of you didn’t know what else you could really say to her. It didn’t feel like any words could make her feel better. You just wanted to see her and how she was doing.

Rosé was the one who suggested getting iced coffee and taking a stroll to the park nearby. You truly appreciated her attempt at keeping things civilized.

She showed up wearing dark sunglasses which made everything way harder for you. You weren’t able to see her expressions properly which could cause even more unnecessary complications.

Despite it all, you were the one who ordered, while still remembering Rosé’s favorite position on the menu and paid. It was the least you could do, you kept repeating to yourself.

After you handed your ex-girlfriend her cup, both of you crossed the street and dived into the park. At first, it was silent and awkward. You hesitated, but you knew you had to be the one to start.

“I’m not sure how to do this properly. I just feel like no matter what I say I... I’ll end up hurting you more and trust me, when I say this, Roseanne Park, I would never ever hurt you intentiona-”

“But you did, Y/N.” She cut you off with a harsh, but tired voice. “And I will never believe you saying that you didn’t think kissing her wouldn’t hurt me.”

You looked down at your cup and reminded yourself that this new Rosé was the outcome of your own actions. Only you were the reason for her current behaviour to be so different from what you were so used to. She was no longer polite and incredibly kind, she especially didn’t have to pretend to be nice to you.

“What I really want to know, though is were you drunk?... Do you even regret this?” She asked in a small tone.

“I did drink, but I can’t say I was drunk. I was fully aware of what I was doing.” Total honesty was once again the very least you could do in that situation. Rosé deserved to know the whole ugly truth. Although, a big part of you wanted to ignore her second question. “I had no idea that after all this time... All these feelings- they would still be there. It seemed like nothing changed at all.”

There was a bit of silence again, Rosé had to really digest your words, before choosing to speak again. In the meantime you had a full blown fight going on in your head, already regretting what you’d said.

“What are your plans now? Are you going to go back to her?”

“Well, we uh... We haven’t really talked about it.” You gulped, feeling like an idiot. “So it’s hard to tell at the moment.”

Rosé gave a small nod, it was barely visible with how she kept her pace steady and her sunglasses staring ahead.

“Look, I know that I failed you.” You breathed out, the cup in your hands began slightly shaking. “I know that I broke your trust, I lied when I said that I could handle myself all alone at that party. Maybe if you didn’t go to Australia, it’d be different, but I wanted you to see your family too. Please, Rosé, I’ve never meant bad for you. You’re one of the loveliest, coolest people I’ve ever met. I’m deeply sorry.”

As you were nearing a bench underneath a big tree, hidden from the sunlight, Rosé sat down, wanting to rest from the intense sunshine.

“Maybe one day you’ll forgive me, I’m truly sorry.” You joined her in a heartbeat.

“I’m not blaming you.” All of the sudden, she exhaled tiredly and took off her sunglasses, letting you fully see her sunken, pale face. Her beautiful, brown eyes were puffy and bloodshot red like she’d been crying for these whole past few days. And you’d thought that it was because of the weather. “Only myself for leaving.”

“Rosie, stop please.” You felt tears blurring your vision and you wondered how on Earth she was able to have this conversation without crying. But then again, you thought, Rosé looked like she had already cried enough over you.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and realized that how you said Minnie was your first love... You are mine. No matter how much I loathe it.” She chuckled sadly.

Meanwhile you were at loss of words, just observing her flawless profile. You admired her for avoiding your eyes all this time.

“And who am I to stand between you two? I mean, I can’t just make you stop loving her and if I’m not the only person in your heart then I don’t think we can be together. Especially after that kiss, I don’t want to be the only one who’s blindly in love in this relationship. I deserve better and I know that.”

Your heart ached proudly hearing her words. At least Rosé knew her worth and was both strong and smart enough to accept life the way it was.

“It’s true, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. I had it all with you and still... did what I did.” You began drawing circles on your cup of coffee in order to ease some of the nerves. “But I know there is someone out there, who’ll understand you, make you laugh, treasure you, respect you and love you like you’re meant to.”

At that, Rosé turned to look at you. She almost looked like she didn’t believe you.

“And if they don’t do all of that, just contact me. I’ll kick their ass.” Maybe it was inappropriate, trying to joke right then and there but you wanted her to see that you’re still there for her, still having her back.

She let her eyes wander all around your face as if she was trying her best to memorize it. As if it was the last time she’d be able to see it. And that’s when her focus found your lips.

You knew what was coming when Rosé leaned in. With a heavy heart you shared your goodbye kiss.

Knock, knock.

You let out a big breath, while waiting at Minnie’s doorstep.

One more conversation had to be made.

“Y/N! Oh how nice it is to see you again. Come in!” You relaxed some when Minnie’s mom opened the door. “Nicha had a few appointments, but she should be back soon.”

You followed her to the kitchen, where at least four traditional Thai dishes were being cooked. Most of them were probably Minnie’s cravings.

“It’s alright, I can wait here with you, if you don’t mind.”

“Nonsense, honey. You’re always welcomed here, even when Nicha’s in Korea or God knows where else. This place right here is your home, as well. Never, forget that.”

The two of you had a heartwarming, long chat. You even managed to help a little with all the cooking Mrs. Yontararak had planned out. With the radio playing in the background, time flew by quickly and productively. Once every dish was ready, Minnie’s mom took you for a little tour around the house in order to show you what had changed through these past years. Mainly, it was either new furniture in the guest bedroom, refreshed walls colors, new paintings here and there. What amazed you the most was an old picture of Minnie, Lisa and you together hung up in one of the halls. The three of you were smiling brightly, unaware of what the future held. It was probably from primary school. You couldn’t believe that it was still there. So much has changed.

Suddenly, older woman’s phone rang. She excused herself and headed to the main bedroom. You used that occasion to sneak into Nicha’s old room, that was just on the other side of the picture wall you were staring at.

You gasped at how different it looked like. Almost every piece of furniture was brand new, the bed was bigger and what caught your attention the most was how messy it was. You remembered Minnie being a very clean and quite strict person. She was probably leaving in a hurry or writing something very intensively. Several paper balls all over the floor proved that theory. There were a few of crossed out pages on her desk too, but one of them was quite readable. You didn’t mean to be noisy, but just simply couldn’t help yourself.

‘Don't you go falling in love

Trust me she's not the one

She won't ever

Love you like I do

Hold you like I do, know you like I do

Don't you go fallin' in love

'Cause I'ma break that shit up

I won't let her

Love you like I do

Touch you like I do, nothing like I do

Nothing like I do’

With a frown you wandered through the text twice, it seemed like Minnie was busy with songwriting. You weren’t given a lot of time to think, as the door opened suddenly and you met those brown eyes again.

“Sorry I kept you waiting.” Minnie was wearing gym clothes and was still slightly out of breath. It didn’t stop her from taking my breath away either. “And sorry for all the mess.”

“What is this?” You addressed the potential lyrics.

Minnie sighed heavily, before organizing some of them.

“I was writing a song. Still am actually.” She was looking everywhere but you.

“This one sounds pretty personal.” You weren’t stupid and knew damn well it was about you. You just wanted to toy with her and make her confess few things.

“Okay, what do you want me to say, Y/N? That I wrote a song about you?” Minnie looked you straight in the eyes this time. As she was speaking she was taking small steps in your direction. “‘Blow your mind’, ‘Dahlia’, ‘For you’, ‘Paradise’. They’re all about you.”

Now, she was only inches away.

“Tell me where we’re going from here.” You felt flattered, both at her words and also because of how close the two of you were again. You just lived for these short moments of proximity with your Nicha. There was nothing that could stop your little smile from spreading coyly.

“I love you, Y/N. I think I always will.” Minnie said softly. “I tried moving on from you so many times. But what can I say, you’re my paradise.”

You cupped her cheeks, smiling like a dork because of how she was even capable of rhyming her love for you, you and pressed a shy kiss against her lips, it was a peck really. But Minnie wasn’t satisfied and craved more of you. With a whine she pulled at your neck and forced you to give her a real kiss. As always before, your lips molded together perfectly. Her tongue was determined to fight for dominance although your constant smile made it impossible for the two of you to continue.

“Stop with that.” Minnie scolded you between her own giggles. There was nothing better in this world than her laughing into the kiss. Your kiss.

“I can’t help it.” You shrugged, letting her lean most of her body weight on you, as she clung to you in a warm embrace. “I’m happy.”

“Me too.” Her fingers walked through your hair, as she hummed with her eyes plesantly lidded. “I’m finally happy here in Thailand.”

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