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#the poor quality is killing meeeee
supaur3thra · 6 months
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He would treat me right
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kitcat-italica · 2 years
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My JCS Opinions No One Asked For
At this point in my obsession with this show, I’ve tracked down and watched lots of different versions through various legally dubious means.  Here are my thoughts on the ones I’ve seen so far!  (In a list of each show chronologically because why not)
1973 movie: This one is both great and ehhhh for me.  It’s great because it’s the original.  I love Carl Anderson’s Judas.  Ted Neely’s Gethsemane high note always tingles my spine.  Yvonne Elliman’s Mary Magdalene is just soothing and lovely.  The ensemble’s choreography always makes me chuckle, esp the cartwheeling before Simon’s song.  The setting is fun!  Hippies in the desert = basically what Jesus and Co were in 33AD. 
Its ehhhh points are that it just doesn’t *grip* me?  It doesn’t shake me upside down to make my brain fall out like other versions do.  Besides Gethsemane, Jesus in this version is leaning into the stoic-divine-savior depiction of him?  Which imo is not the point of JCS.  The Pharisees are…making costume choices.  Pilate is lame and forgettable.  Herod is supposed to be a WTF moment in every production, but this version just makes me vaguely uncomfortable and idk why.  And the slow tempo/boring choreography/weirdly-mixed sound during Superstar always puts me to sleep. Bonus points for Carl Anderson's heavenly leather fringe costume tho.
7/10
2000 movie: Here’s where things get interesting.  I briefly posted about my thoughts on this one in particular a while back.  This movie is such a trainwreck and I can’t stop watching it.  I’ll put on clips of it when I’m feeling down and need a laugh.  It’s…something.
The costume choices are just silly.  The overacting is comical.  The singing is either so weak (Jesus) or so overexaggerated (everyone else).  My throat gets sympathy pains every time Jerome Pradon’s Judas opens his mouth; he’s not a high tenor like the part requires.  But damn if he doesn’t sell the trash-man-surviving-on-Redbull-and-poor-life-choices version of this character in every single voice-cracking wail into the middle distance.  The devastation in his acting kills meeeee.  I also think Renee Castle might be my favorite Mary Magdalene?  I love her voice and her sweetness :) I also like the Pharisees in this!  They’re dressed like dollar store Matrix action figures and it absolutely works.  I also laugh at Simon’s frosted tips every time he’s onscreen.  The guy can sing tho! And it should be noted: between the costuming and the campiness and Judas’s every interaction with Jesus, this is one of the gayest versions out there.  I’m not sure if it was on purpose or not, but I’m grateful for it either way.
Lastly, special mention must go to Leather Daddy Pontius Pilate.  He absolutely fucks.
2/10 for actual quality, 9/10 for rewatch value
2012 Broadway revival: I like this one!  A lot!  It doesn’t *move* me, but it is extremely competent and everyone knows what they’re doing.  Jesus is kinda dull in this, but I’m ok with him not being the main character lol.  Josh Young’s Judas is aalskdjflsjdf yessss.  Belt those notes in your blue flowy robe my dude!!!  And the highlight is definitely the relationship between Jesus, Judas, and Mary.  They are 100% in a polycule and honestly good for them.  This is probably the only version where I will intentionally seek out the song Could We Start Again Please, just to see the three of them sing their verse together while holding hands.  It’s beautiful and deserves all the accolades.
I think the biggest downside for me in this is that since it’s a bootleg recording from faraway I can’t connect with their facial expressions as well as I would actually seeing this live.  That would probably make it one of my absolute favorites.
8/10
2012 UK Arena Tour: Oh, 2012 Arena Tour, my beloved.  I am such trash for you.  When I say that this show needs to latch onto my beating heart and refuse to let go, this is exactly what I’m talking about.  I will watch a clip from this, only to end up watching the entire show again because I cannot put it down.  It’s just.  So.  Good.
Lots of people have done write-ups in much more detail and eloquence about why they love this version, so I will be brief.  The casting in this show is just.  So top-notch.  There is not a weak link among them.  Often there will be parts I’ll skip in a JCS production because this or that character’s portrayal is kinda meh.  BUT NOT THIS VERSION.  I love everyone’s interpretations of their characters.  Jesus.  Judas.  Mary Magdalene.  Simon.  Caiaphas.  Annas.  Pilate.  Herod.  WHY ARE THEY ALL SO GOOD?????
This one also strikes the perfect balance in tone.  The ridiculous campy bits (like Herod’s song, Superstar, etc.) are played up as exactly that, but the serious bits are played deathly serious.  Everyone’s making choices according to their character’s internal logic, and it sucks me right in.  Ugh.  I love it.
Jesus and Judas are, of course, always the highlights.  And Ben Forster and Tim Minchin are just putting their whole hearts into this.  The chemistry?  The belting?  The facial expressions?  Every single choice they’re making, even when they’re not the focus of the scene?  The pained looks?  The eyerolls?  The moments of anguished violence, followed by immediate regret?  Ben’s Gethsemane (and making me care about his character’s emotional journey outside of Gethsemane)???  Tim’s death scene???  Superstar?????
Some people don’t like the modern aesthetic of this one.  Their tastes and mine are very different, because I adore it.  Some people say the autotune in the official recording ruins it for them.  It doesn’t ruin it for me; the vocals are still powerful and shake me to my core.  I can only imagine what it was like to see this live.  Probably the closest thing to a religious experience I will ever have.
10/10.  10/10.
2014 Swedish Arena Tour: Oooooh baby.  What a wild ride this is.  We got metal biker rockstar Messiah in the house!  Complete with leather pants and long flowing wigs :)  I love it.
Peter Johansson’s Judas is def one of my favorites.  He’s such a sarcastic slutty king.  I adore him.  
Speaking of slutty kings, did someone say Ola Salo’s Jesus????  This man is definitely hearing a voice in his head telling him he’s special, and thinking it’s God.  He is 100% down to call himself one part of a Holy Trinity.  His delivery of certain lines just gives me the happy wiggles.  It’s both ethereal, detached, and bitchy all at once.  My favorite is probably The Last Supper, when he’s taunting Judas with the lines “why don’t you go do it?” and “hurry, they are waiting”.  I don’t know how to describe it, but those two lines in particular just get me to my core the way he says them.
Then there’s the famous kiss.  Such a gay moment.  So good.
My complaint about this version is that everything else besides Jesus and Judas is bland at best, deeply uncomfortable at worst.  Yes, I am mostly talking about the Pharisees.  There is a whole other post I could make about how, since this show is based on the Gospels in the New Testament, a case can be made that it rests on a foundation that flirts with anti-Semitism, so it must tread very carefully not to lean into that.  (That also makes me question whether Christianity in itself is inherently anti-Semitic?  Maybe, maybe not, but again, that’s a whole nother conversation.)  And this version of JCS…misses the mark.  Hard.  And it prevents me from watching too much of this show beyond the big Jesus and Judas scenes.
9/10 for Jesus and Judas, 4/10 for everything else.
2018 Live In Concert: This one was a nope for me.  I liked Judas okay in this one, and his glittery, belt-y Superstar is probably one of my favorite versions of the song.  But John Legend was clearly cast as Jesus because he’s a big name music star who wanted that sweet sweet EGOT (and once he won an Emmy for being a producer on this show, he got it).  But he is a baritone trying to sing a tenor part.  I’m fine with him not going for the G5 in Gethsemane, but when he tries to climb up there for the “see how I die” part, *I* started getting lightheaded just watching him.  It’s painful.
Everything else is just boring and forgettable.  Not much else to say about it.
3/10.
Aaaand those are all the versions I’ve seen!  If y’all know of any others, lemme know and I’ll check them out :)
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writtenfan · 4 years
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Never Again Will We Have A Double Date Night.
I mean it Lucifer!
SPNLucifer x Reader Imagine
Yeah...Date night didn’t go well. Next day...well. Towards the end of it, he’s had enough and reeealy just wants some quality time with you. Guess how that ends?
Warning: Some, angst, yelling, cuteness, some suggestive themes/imagery and swearing. <3
                             “Take a bubble bath with me.”
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He tenses up his shoulders and lets them drop, swinging his head back in your direction with a pout.
You glance over to him; he has a serious dirty blond bed head. His hair sticks all over the place like static, he wore a rumpled up white shirt and black boxers and short dirty white socks. His eyes having dark circle along with the already present bags under his eyes. He had worn this all day.
After having a complete lazy-stay at home day sparked after the previous incident you two had with his brother Gabriel and Rowena at Red Lobster. Which made you extremely mad and unable...no unwilling, to talk to him.
After staring at you, without hearing a response, he childishly hits his thighs with closed fists while moving his head around like a spoiled child and stamping his feet on the carpeted floor.
“Take a bubble bath wiiiiiith meeeee!” He shouts
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He turns back to you with a pouty lip and big eyes.
You say his name sternly, looking straight in front of you, trying not to give him the reaction he so desperately wanted and knew he could manipulate you into getting.
You had just taken a shower. He knows this.
“(Y/N)~.” He calls out to you in a sad high-pitched voice.
You hear him scooting himself rather clumsily across the couch until he bumps his hip into yours.
You don’t look away from the TV but the corner of your mouth twitches. He saw that and you could tell by his giddy chuckle. Damn it.
He bumps into you again, and again, and again until suddenly you're engulfed by his arms and his weight as he leans on you without mercy.
You start annoyed laughing as your smooshed onto your side and he starts making this low pitch wining sound into your arm.
The vibration tickles.
“Stop you big baby! I just took a shower!” You shout as you push against him only for him to act limp and slump onto you even harder. He takes his mouth off your arm and rubs the side of his oily forehead against your skin.
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“I don’t caaaaare. I'm grungy, I’m lonely and I want bubble bath with my baaaaby!...”
You slap your hand against his cheek and hold it there, feeling his growing stubble poke you as your smooshing his face in.
You feel him making a kissy faces and after a few of those, he snaps his head to your palm and starts licking it.
“EWWW!” You try and pull back, but he grabs your wrist and starts licking, even more, travelling up to your elbow.
You press his head against the back of the couch with your other hand after prying it from under you and he starts laughing.
“Now you must take a bath and good thing because I was just headed that way. Wanna join? I got enough lavender bubbles soap for two~”
This child.
You try rolling yourself off the couch, but he catches you by the waist and just lets you dangle halfway onto the floor.
The blood rushes to your head as your hands brush against the carpet in defeat.
“Now.” He squeezes your waist. “I’ll let you go if you agree...” he rests his chin on your tailbone. “...To take a bath with me.”
He waits patiently as he squeezes you to the rhythm of a song playing in his head.
You say nothing and angrily dangle.
“Fine,” he grunts with a playful whine.
.....
....
....
.....
.....
You keep dangling for a few minutes, the sound of the tv playing in the background and the blood making you feel like your head was going to pop.
He starts squeezing you again, and it gets faster and faster until he lets out a loud sigh.
“Thats it.” He slaps your rear and you jolt, letting out an angry “Hey-” but you get cut off.
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“I tried being patient...”He chuckles with an annoyed tone.
“... not my strong suit. I’m done! No more being angry at me time!!”
He slides himself off the couch still holding onto you, a bit tighter now, and...Oh, damn it.
You instinctively hook your legs around his neck as he wraps his arms around your lower waist and dangles you upside down in midair.
Your face. Well, your face...all your seeing is black boxers, and you are greeted by the manly...the manly scent that reeeealy needed that bubble bath but....kinda didn’t.
A win hate smell.
“AUgH OH G-YOUR FATHER.... Seriously Lucifer?!” You scrunch up your face and push yourself back by placing your hands on his thighs as you try to crane your head to look straight down at his shuffling white socks, instead of being repeatedly jabbed in the face by-
“-Augh Lucciiifer I’m sorry I haven't talked to you all day, besides asking if we still had frosted flakes in the cabinet this morning! And I’m sorry that I acted so mean to you when we came home last night because Rowena decided to be a bitch to you and instead of being on your side, I got angry with you too and let Gabriel eat my fries as I got ganged up on!”
He mocks back, then proceeds to pretend to bite your calf, letting his teeth graze your skin making gnawing sounds as he continues to walk towards the bathroom.
“You didn’t tell me you KILLED AND TORTURED HER MULTIPLE TIMES LUCIFER! Why didn’t you warn me beforehand?!” You shouted back, angrily staring at his hairy legs and repeatedly slapping your hands against them.
“The whole dinner she was trying to act calm, be the bigger person for Gabriel and I, but NOooooooo all you did was try and get under her skin! The constant torture puns, the nitpicking into their relationship! The loud and graphic detail of how you felt like decapitating that poor woman's head off sitting 3 tables away from us for looking at us funny and making her call the manager and guess what it worked, you got under her skin and that’s why you got yelled at Lucifer!” You shouted back patting his legs with your hands.
“ALRIGHT, DETOUR!!” he shouts.
As he takes a sharp left in front of the bathroom and back to the bed that you two usually shared, but where Lucifer was absent last night. As he slept on the couch.
He takes his hands and grabs your ankles, prying you off his neck and then throws you onto the bed. The wind is knocked out of you for a second. So, you just stare at the ceiling and cross your arms.
He stands over you, looking down at your face.
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“I’m sorry alright?! I've said that...two or three times?” he starts counting on his fingers looking surprised at each finger he raised, then shakes his fingers at you.
“Yeah THREE WHOLE TIMES! Hey, sorry I still have a grudge from a witch who's backstabbed me more times than I can count!”
You scrunch your eyes and look up him. He stares back. A few minutes pass and he sighs.
“FINE.” He storms out the door. You continue laying on your back and you hear him storm back in. He starts fumbling with his shirt.
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“Look, if I show you the girls will you forgive me?! Come onnnn look at me. Just look at alll this~”
He pops his shirt open and does a little dance and you slam your hand over your mouth as you almost crack a smile.
But you continue staring at his chest and your eyes begin to wander downward. His eyebrows wiggle as he stops moving and stands over you.
“You like right? Feel the anger just...” he motions a wave rolling with his hands. “Waaaashing awaaaay...all that frustration just...WOoooosh.
“Just behold the stunningly gorgeous vessel of Lucifer!!” He starts laughing.
You slam your hands on your eyes and groan.
“Hey! Hey...hey...I’m not done yet. Look, lookie here...what's this?....oohh, whats this??!”
You hear the sound of fabric and then something hitting the floor.
“Ah, Christ.”
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