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#the research i did to write this sneeze post (what a sentence) says
coldshare · 10 months
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A word To build a scenario around... Steam
thank you for the prompt, anon! ♡ here it is (with some gratuitous references to contagion... you know me)
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a character who's the type to prioritize self care over everything... who lives luxuriously, the type to resort to everything from expensive spa days to unwind, the type who's familiar with every natural remedy in the book, because really, even the slightest ailment is a perfect excuse to take it easy and even pamper themselves a little bit
the same character who feels themselves coming down with a terrible, incredibly contagious cold. but for whatever reason - maybe their boss urges them to come in (it's just a small cold, after all, and so much work still needs to get done), or maybe because they're just so confident in their home remedies to do the trick - they head to work anyways.
their desk becomes a mini pharmacy for the day - soft lotion tissues, three different tins of tea specifically meant to relieve cold and flu symptoms, herbal cough drops, a few cooling salves for their red, irritated nose, hot packs for their sinuses, a humidifier for the congestion. after all... if they're going to have to work with this cold, why not make their time here as comfortable as possible?
but still, despite every remedy, their cold turns out to be annoyingly persistent - they're just so congested they can hardly breathe through their nose, plagued with a tickle (not severe enough to catalyze a sneeze, in most cases, but present enough to be very distracting) in their nose which won't leave them alone no matter what. even worse, every sneeze is irritatingly unproductive; it does nothing to relieve the tickle - in fact, it almost seems to make it worse...
they make it to halfway through the afternoon where they decide they can't stand it anymore - they're not feeling too terrible, but this is certainly annoying, and that's enough of a reason for them to put an end to it once and for good. breathing in steam can be therapeutic, and even better, it's supposed to relieve congestion, right?
after a few moments consideration, they swipe the small vial of lavender essential oil off their desk. they've never been fond of this particular vial compared to the other essential oils they own - it always leaves them sniffly and teary eyed - but perhaps that would be a welcome side effect, just this once.
from there, they head into the break room and boil some water using the coffee machine (so what if they end up sneezing a few times, all over the coffee machine, misting the company countertops? it's not like they can control when they sneeze... with this cold, every sneeze just sneaks up on them; it's not their fault that they're not always able to cover.) they pour the boiling water out into a large bowl, drop a few drops of the lavender essential oil inside, and take a seat at one of the tables in the break room, which - aside from them - is thankfully empty.
the first breath of hot, fragrant steam does wonders for their congestion, which they can feel start to loosen for the first time, making their nose run. they haven't brought any tissues with them... perhaps that was an oversight, but the steam is just so relieving, they can't just stop now...!
the next few breaths, they can really start to smell the lavender, and... oh, the tickle in their nose sharpens with such intensity it takes them off guard.
"heh... hEhh... HIH-! hheh-Hhehh... heh... hehH..."
god, their nose tickles so badly; it's practically begging for relief. they lean their head down, taking another deep breath in through their nose.
"hehH... hehh-HEH-!" fuck, so close, just a little more... "hheh... HehhH.... hh-heh-Hehh-HEHh-!! HEHH'IIHHSHIEEEW!"
it's as if that first sneeze completely opens up the floodgates, snapping them forward - only for them to inhale a huge breath of hot steam. they wipe their nose on one palm, but even the slightest pressure against their nose seems to increase the tickle tenfold. everything smells like so strongly of lavender, it's - HEHh-! making them - heh-HEHh - h-have to -
"HEHH'ISSSHHIEw! hHAH'IITSHuUH! heh... heh-hEhh-HEHh-hHEH'TCHIIIEEEW! hH... hHIh! hahh-HAh-AHH.... AHH'IIIITTSCHHUueE!"
every sneeze absolutely drenches the table beneath them. they lift their hands to halfheartedly shield the first couple of sneezes, but with the number of particles that escape through their fingertips regardless, does it really even matter? it's not like anyone else is in the break room, after all. they turn their head aside to keep from spraying the table (even if all that accomplishes is spread their cold in the other direction.)
besides... don't they deserve to sneeze after having not been able to sneeze all morning, aside from the few terribly unsatisfying sneezes they'd had to put up with? isn't it only right that they get relief from this annoying cold as soon as possible? they need to get all the viruses out of their system to get rid of this cold... each messy, spraying sneeze sets them closer on the path to recovery. the tickle in their nose is really just there to help them sneeze out their cold as soon as possible, so why not coax it even further, make this process a little faster? really, they're doing their body a favor as they breathe in more steam, as they give in to the tickle in their nose, as they sneeze and sneeze and sneeze...
(maybe that's what they think, but they've left the air so utterly saturated with their cold viruses that it's no wonder that half the office comes down with the same miserable, messy cold in the weeks following, leading to more than a few dirty looks... after all, they brought their cold to work, and they hadn't exactly been subtle about it)
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eriseclipsenuiwitch · 7 years
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The Outcasts- chapter 10
Since Adamai brought Lady Echo new allies/soldiers/prisoners/pets (delete what You want), it has been a week (and three days). Kira was quite fast in teaming up with Kalmia, Robin and Lucky. They frowned at the fact that their new acquaintance did not want to give up her religion, but Kira claimed that death was the only sure thing in life. Yaga, besides conducting the sparring with the demigods (apart from Echo, Adamai, the Iop and a small blue-eyed girl), was involved in the production of some sort of specifics that, as she claimed, kept her alive ("You have two options, my dear. You will agree and I will be a good, nasty reptile, or you will not agree, I'll end up drugs and I will die, and it's hard to find another shit of my species"). There was also suspicion that she was doing some mysterious rituals there (but for who?), but no one caught her during the act yet. And Qilby...
"AAAACHOOO!!!!" The Eliatrope sneezed with such force that the hood of the protective mantle slipped off his head, scarcely taking his hat down also, and the laboratory glass clattered on the shelves and tables.
"For God's sake, go to a medic or something!" roared Yaga with all her kindness while sitting in her new lab, right next to (of course) the Count's laboratory (now Qilby's).
"I can't!!!" Qilby screamed equaly kindly as he put his hood back "I've got a job to do!"
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important, Yaga sighed mentaly, and she said aloud:
"They don't acknowledge a sick notes here?!!!"
"Go back to your task, woman!"
"Go to a medic!"
And the show was going on, over and over again.
---------------------------------
After the next three hours, Qilby was completely frozen and couldn't even tease with Yaga. Fortunately, it alarmed her, because it could have been much worse. With the force she entered to the lab (the Masqueraider guarding the scientist happened to disappear somewhere) and carried Qilby on her back to Robin's cave, where at least was warm.
Robin, Kalmia, Lucky, the "Nameless" Maskarad and (recently) Kira were one of the many Brotherhood's operating teams and, as one of the most effective ones, were given a small set of egg-shaped caves under the Cursed Citadel, which served as their sleeping quarters with large central grotto as a living room.
Yaga lifted Qilby on her shoulders to release one hand and knocked to the round wooden door.
"What?!" snarled Kalmia from other side.
"A bowl of broth, for a poor, unfortunate soul!" Yaga replied.
"Bleah" announced Qilby, who scorned a broth as an dishonor to the noble art of preaparing a meat.
"And a little water with soap, for the other, sweaty soul could wash herself..." Then the door opened wide and there was Robin smiling wide.
"Be our guest*," said cheerfully the dark-haired Cra.
--------------------------------
In some places, magic is extremely anxious and sensitive to the emotions of beings able to contact with Her. It was therefore logical that by the presence of so many demigods and the burning anger of the one ivory dragon, the energy in the Cursed Citadel was... unstable. Lady Echo did her best to neutralize this 'hiccup'. She began to send some demigods to other hideouts or to the Tower of Dreams, something like the Brotherhood's headquarters. But the most pressing problem was Adamai. Whoever was his mother, this whole Goddess, gave her offspring a big, raw power that slipped out of control, mainly thanks to the young dragon's relative. Qilby and Adamai hated each other and any of them intended to give up. The wisest way out was to teach the ivory dragon greater self-control. Something that Grougarolagan and Balthazar apparently neglected. But who said that all dragons are reasonable?
"Focus, brother Adamai," whispered Lady Echo, while the multicolored ribbons of magic flowed between her and the young ivory dragon. They sat together on the floor of her office and tried to master the magic of the Eliatrope Goddess in body of one from her sons. "Calm your emotions, control anger. The key to full control over your power, yours and your sisters and brothers is serenity. Complete serenity..."
"Lady Echo!" A guard with a bandaged head came into the office (it was the same one Kira knocked out last week) with a scroll in his hand.
"What now?!!!!" the furious woman roared, spreading her unmatching wings, and her yellow eyes glowing scary.
"I'm-... I'm-... I'm sorry, my lady!" The unlucky soldier crouched before the daughter of the goddess Eniripsa. "But an important report from the South came and...!
"Which post?" Echo interrupted him, trying to calm herself down and hide her emotions, but a note of anxiety crept into her cool voice .
"Dragon Mausoleum," the man rasped and handed his Mistress a scroll sealed stamped with wax seal with the post symbol. The wax was black, which, according to the Brotherhood's findings, meant the highest priority information. The last time they used these markings in the news was when Master Joris set out to look for the six Eliatrope Dofus.
Lady Echo quickly opened the message and began to read. With every sentence her eyes grew wider and wider. No, that could not happen... Not now! But He warned her that something like that exists and might reveal itself sometime. And their spy in the Suffokatian research team just confirmed this. But why now? Now when Pandora's Box was almost complete?! That could change completly force arrangement!
"We are the closest," she whispered, then looked at the guard and worried Adamai, "Brother, I have to talk to you in private"
The guard quickly escaped, and Echo made sure no one was listening near her door.
"It has to stay between us, Adamai," the woman said softly. "It can be a very bad turn of events..."
--------------------------------------
"Bleah" snapped Qilby, sending a bowl of broth on his lap a particularly disgusted look.
"Eat, not complain" Yaga jagged washing her neck "Or I plug your nose like a little brat's and I pour this soup right into your throat"
"Just try it" the Eliatrope bared his incisors, but he reached for a spoon and began to eat slowly (of course, making faces). Yaga's face filled in with a triumphant smile.
"Tell me..." Robin sat down next to the dark haired "With Kira we explained the Thing... And I'd like to know... how is it with you and..."
"If you're wondering if I'm inclined to come in with you in a more intimate relationship that's likely to end up with some kind of party on your mattress..." Yaga sighed heavily like the person who had been in such a situation so many times that she could calmly guess what Robin wanted to say to her even before he will think about it "the answer is no."
"Damn, woman, are you refusing everyone?" now Robin was pissed when he suddenly remembered something "I'm too low in the hierarchy for You?"
"That I was trying to seduce your boss-lady doesn't mean I was planning to go to bed with her!" Yaga snapped "That was a joke. When I see someone as rigid as an accountant in a gypsum I must mock! Loose the atmosphere! Otherwise I would go crazy. Now you follow?"
"Okay, good, you wanted to make a fun of Lady Echo... But what about me? What are your reasons to say no?"
"Put it that way... I have no problem with your appearance. You are also likable person, or at least I see you so... But I am temporarily resting from relationships. We understand each other?"
"Oh... Was he mean? Abusive?"
"First: it was she. And no, nobody hit anyone. It just... it didn't work out"
Robin may not have noticed this, but Qilby sensed a slight tremor in her voice. Contrary to what she said, her forward relationship didn't just 'work out'. Something went wrong, terribly damn wrong.
"Get up!" screamed, who suddenly appeared at the door. Everyone jumped up. "Robin, prepare your ship! Rest, pack up! You too, Traitor" here he looked with disgust at Qilby.
"Wait, what?!" Robin approached the young dragon with a sharp resentment on his face "What 'prepare the ship'?! This is my property and I will tell you when it can go on a cruise!"
"That's an order, not suggestion" that was the dragon's last word in this case and he walked away "You have one hour"
------------------------------
* Sorry, Guys, I couldn't stop myself! XD
Finally, a next chapter I promised You to add shortly after my return from Italy. Well, I hope I manage to do this before deadline, which Your patience gave me. Next one will be rather short. I will also try to add some parts focused on other characters, because I suck when I have to deal with too many characters and guess what I'm doing EVERY. F*CKING. TIME. When I'm writing something. I create more characters than I can handle.
I'm some kind of goddamnit masochist.
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hotspreadpage · 6 years
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Is Your Blog a Golden Egg?
I opened a carton of eggs yesterday and one of them was gold. Solid gold.
Crazy, right?
Picture it. Eleven plain egg shells and one glorious dome of gold, glinting on my kitchen counter. I picked it up and, sure enough, it weighed a ton.
I called the supermarket. Apparently, there was some mix-up with the department that supplies golden goose eggs to Jack and Beanstalk land or something.
Anyway, I won’t bore you with the details. The point is, this got me thinking …
Why do most blogs look like boring, identical, everyday eggs?
Everyone’s a thought leader these days, regurgitating the same tedious content like a gaggle of vomiting geese. The online community of every industry is oversaturated, it seems.
The online community of every industry is oversaturated it seems, says @KonradSanders. Click To Tweet
And yet, every now and then, one of them shines.
Only 5% of content creators get loyal followers, traffic, and dominating positions at the top of Google. (I made the 5% figure up, but it’s a small percentage all the same.)
They are the golden eggs of content. They differentiate themselves in the right way. In a way that customers love. In a way that makes them gleam with value. In a way that makes them the go-to resource for the topics they delve into because they stick like heavy duty contact adhesive in the minds of their readers (or listeners or viewers).
Can your brand be a golden egg of content?
Yes, it can!
The key is: to truly be unique.
Now I know you’ve heard this time and time before, but marketers rarely explain how to make your brand content unique. And that’s exactly what this article is going to reveal.
But as you soak up these tangible tips to content differentiation, please remember: EVERY golden egg content creator got to the top over time, with careful tests, tweaks, and attention to their audience. Differentiation is just one part of the content marketing equation; but an important part nonetheless.
Differentiation is just one part of the #contentmarketing equation; but an important part, says @KonradSanders. Click To Tweet
Here are five practical ways to make your content zig while your industry zags.
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT:
How to Differentiate Content in a Crowded Field [Example from Adidas]
4 Case Studies Show How to Crush It With Out-of-the-Box Content Marketing
1. Talk differently
Creating a unique (and consistently unique) brand voice should be your first port of call.
Thug Kitchen is a great, albeit very extreme, example.
In the heavily saturated world of food and cooking blogs, most content creators adopt a gentle, sophisticated brand voice with descriptive language and long, detail-heavy sentences. And yes, an air of pretentiousness often floats around the foodie arena.
But Thug Kitchen took a different route.
In a pretentious, gentle world of food blogs, @thugkitchen’s voice stands out. @KonradSanders‏ Read more> Click To Tweet
It offers no-nonsense vegan recipes and “bad ass” cooking tips in the voice of a rapper or “gangsta.” Seasoned with profanities, short punchy sentences, and a tongue-in-cheek twist to the culture of veganism, this brand content REALLY stands out.
The target audience? Probably not a 60-something grandma. But millennials with a sense of humor who just want to cook some nice grub fast and forget the fluff eat up this content for breakfast (and lunch and dinner). Oh – and apparently celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow do too.
In the B2B world, Copyhackers is a prime example of a brand voice that perks up ears.
Joanna Wiebe and her band of merry copywriters keep their marketing tips extremely down-to-earth, jargon-free, funny, and personal. They throw in some tongue-in-cheek street talk for good measure.
At the end of a Copyhackers article, you feel like you’ve been chatting with a mate in the pub (yes, I’m British). And it’s a refreshing change to this land of B2B corporate speak and dullness.
Joanna discusses swearing, euphemisms, and writing something that actually sounds like you (plus the controversy that might come with it) in this post.
How to do it
Do some competitor analysis. Find the top 10 to 20 brand blogs (or vlogs or podcasts, etc.) in your industry and pop them on a spreadsheet. This step helps with the practical differentiation techniques I’ll delve into.
Write down three to five adjectives that best describe the tone of voice of each brand. Is it hip? Playful? Sophisticated? Cheeky? Authoritative? Sassy? This list of adjectives will help.
Describe the “person” speaking – gender, age, job title, and personality traits. Personify your competitors’ brands before you create your own.
Note the commonalities across the group.
Create a brand personality and voice that makes you stand out. If everybody in your industry speaks stiffly and corporately, be the chilled one your audience can relate to. Or if every brand talks like they’re your best friend, be the consummate pro. Or talking in a natural way might be all you need given its rarity these days.
Define your brand personality as you did with your competitors, and then choose five adjectives to describe your unique voice. To do things even more thoroughly, create a tone of voice axis, as explained in this Buffer post.
TIP: Your brand voice should be authentic and relevant to your audience as well as consistent across content and touchpoints. (I will explain in depth at the end of this post.)
Your brand voice should be authentic & consistent across #content & touchpoints. @KonradSanders Click To Tweet
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT:
Focus Your Marketing: Define Your 3(ish) Critical Words
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2. Format and structure your content uniquely
Is everyone in your industry writing 500-word listicles? Then why not consistently create 2,500-word value-packed pieces? Or 200-word nuggets? Or reveal your lessons in the form of gripping stories, not lists? Or include a Buzzfeed-style interactive quiz in every post?
Differentiating the structure and formatting style of your content (i.e., the way it is organized) is another opportunity to lay that golden egg.
Bernadette Jiwa’s blog about brand storytelling, The Story of Telling, is a perfect example.
In an industry chock-full of long, heavy, often jargon-filled content, Bernadette gives us short, thought-provoking, story-led posts of 50 to 300 words each. How fittingly unique and memorable for a blog that belongs to a branding specialist.
Or look at Design Clever, an utterly word-free blog composed of carefully curated imagery that graphic designers have grown to love.
A #blog free of words stands out, notes @KonradSanders. Check out @DesignClever_. Click To Tweet
How to do it
Go to your spreadsheet of competitor blogs. Insert a new column for notes about their structure and formatting style.
Make notes. Identify commonalities. You know the drill.
Draw on inspiration from other industries and content creators. Is there anything unique and powerful you’ve seen that you could pull into your content and industry? Do a ton of research. Jot down ideas.
Be creative. Come up with your distinct formatting style and structure. Your bottom line will thank you.
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: Must-Have Checklist to Creating Valuable Content
3. Go niche – real niche
If you want to compete with all the big businesses and blogs, then honing a niche or micro-niche is not to be sneezed at.
Why? Because without a niche you compete with everybody in your industry, which is no mean feat. Narrowing your focus offers you a greater chance of becoming an authority, building a real readership, making a stamp in your industry, and becoming a go-to thought leader for that niche.
Nerd Fitness, a brand that sells subscription fitness and training courses, focuses its blog on – you guessed it – helping “nerds” level-up their fitness.
Trade Knowledge Exchange, an economic and trade consultancy, helps readers understand the shifting landscape of the post-Brexit trade environment. Very niche. Very important. And hardly anyone else covers it in such depth.
How to do it
Ask your customers what one area of business or life (that relates to your service or product) they have the most trouble with.
Hone in on that one problem area and make it the core focus of your blog.
Research that area extensively, build relationships with other influencers in the sphere (if there are any), practice what you preach (i.e., work in that niche field that you’re talking about), and really master the subject. Then share that mastery.
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: Do You Know Your Why? Your Content Marketing Success Depends on It
4. Design your blog and images uniquely
You need a good designer or at least a good design eye to create a unique look for your brand’s content.
You need a good designer or a good design eye to create a unique look for your brand’s content. @KonradSanders Click To Tweet
You might opt for simple with cute artwork/illustrations like Pando or Help Scout.
Or go big, beautiful, and colorful like Brit+Co.
Or perhaps minimal and super-stylish like ETQ.
Or adopt some vintage vibes like The Creative Copywriter (shameless plug).
How to do it
Think of the blogs you love to peruse because of how they look and feel. Understand why they resonated visually – and flick through all the content to see how it’s done consistently. Is there a blog that makes your mind go “aaah” in relaxation every time you visit? Or “oooh” because it’s refreshingly different? What color scheme does it use? What types of graphics or illustrations? How is the negative space being used?
Think of a #blog’s design you like. Appreciate its consistent look and feel, says @KonradSanders. Click To Tweet
Go back to the spreadsheet and jot down the design style of your industry competitors. Use three to five adjectives to describe their visual style.
Work with a designer – preferably a conceptual branding designer – to create your blog and content’s unique visual identity. Be in tune with your overall brand identity because it all comes together as one full package … consistency is key, remember?
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: 16 Visual Storytelling Tips to Give Your Content Marketing a Boost
5. Choose a different medium
A superb way to differentiate is to see what types (i.e., mediums) of content everyone else in your industry is creating, and then fire in another direction.
Wow. Ground-breaking idea, isn’t it?
Sorry if that sounds too obvious. But it has to be said given all the copycat content creators I see. Over and over. That’s because our natural inclination as humans is to go with the tide, not against it.
But this might be a fantastic way for you to claim your unique position.
While most travel companies stick to standard blog posts, Orbitz laid a golden egg in the form of this super-personalized, creative quiz:
Prospects needed to enter their name and email address to get the much-sought results. Which means? It was a unique, powerful, and memorable lead magnet that created a lot of buzz and pushed a ton of leads down the funnel. Here’s the full story.
In a different industry, I recently helped Arun Estates – one of the U.K.’s largest real estate brands – with their content marketing strategy. We decided to break the mold with value-driven articles and fairytale-esque case stories sent to their prospects in the form of hard-copy letters. Or “content marketing through the letter box” as we like to call it.
How to do it
Remember that trusty spreadsheet? It’s time to do your research again, add a new column and take some more notes. What are the most common content mediums/types/formats in your industry?
Have a good old look around for different forms of content you could create, using lists like this one, this one, and this one for inspiration.
Just adopting this experimental zig-not-zag attitude will put you in the “top 5%” and make you a golden egg in the making.
But to raise your chances of success even further, follow these 20 Tips to Brand Your Blog by content marketing queen, Heidi Cohen.
And, as you’re creating a golden egg, please bear in mind the golden rules below.
Golden rules to differentiation
Always stay relevant to YOUR people
Your audience is the only one that matters. If you’re selling food to egg eaters, know them and make them happy. Don’t suddenly offer them taco, when they came to you for an omelet.
Define your audience better than anyone else and listen carefully to them. Use what they tell you (through words and actions) to shape your content following the five practical ideas in this article.
Your goal must be to differentiate while remaining relevant to your audience.
Be authentic
An authentic voice speaks the brand’s values. Clearly know and state your core brand values. Hold to them in everything you create. You will find and form strong bonds with an audience who shares your values. Your loyal, loving fans will sell your brand for you.
Inauthenticity reeks of untrustworthiness. And your audience will smell it from a mile off.
You want to be the golden egg, not the rotten one.
Your goal must be to differentiate while remaining authentic to you and your brand.
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: How to Infuse ‘Know,’ ‘Like,’ and ‘Trust’ Into Your Content
Be consistent
Imagine if your favorite podcaster or blogger suddenly changed in character, content, or accent – with no reason or explanation. Not a pretty thought. You must stay consistent in your brand voice, image, and every aspect.
At the beginning, it may take experimentation to find your form. But once you do, stay the same every time – a reliable consistent voice your audience can return to again and again.
There you have it. All you need to truly be unique – the right way. Try out these tips and start laying those golden eggs.
Leave the goose gaggle and you’ll soon be leading it.
HANDPICKED RELATED CONTENT: Brand Guidelines to the Rescue for Clear, Consistent Stories [Example]
Got some wisdom to add? Some extra differentiation techniques? Or blog branding know-how to throw in the mix? Let me know in the comments.
Stand out among your fellow marketers. Attend the world’s content marketing event and learn a lot about how to elevate your brand’s content. Register today for Content Marketing World Sept. 4-7 in Cleveland, Ohio. Early-bird rates expire May 31. Plus, use code BLOG100 to save $100.
Cover image by Joseph Kalinowski/Content Marketing Institute
The post Is Your Blog a Golden Egg? appeared first on Content Marketing Institute.
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