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jungwonenthusiast · 3 years

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hi ! enhypen smut prompt request ! can i have the reader whos a female say #4 with jake or sunghoon whos a hard dom ?? if u can , can u add how the reader and the partner are enemies who got lots of sexual tension so they kinda trease e/o a lot with words and actions ? u dont have to use that plot but thank u♡

A/N: This is one of my favorite works now lol i hope u like it :) <3

Warnings: unprotected sex, rly brief oral (f recieving), degredation

Word Count: 2.9 k

“But it’s a Tuesday,” you tell Jay while zipping up your backpack.

“So?” he says. “Don’t be lame.”

“I’m not lame, just responsible.” you sing your bag over your shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s lame.” he walks with you to the lunch tables. Jungwon and Heeseung are already there chatting it up.

“You guys are coming right?” Jay asks them and they nod. “See? You gotta come.”

“It’ll be fun noona,” Jungwon says. “And you have to come because Heeseung hyung and Jay hyung are probably gonna leave me for girls.” he rests his head on your shoulder for a moment.

“Why don’t you get yourself some girls too.” you suggest and he shakes his head.

“I’m too shy.” he says quietly and you giggle.

“Alright fine, I’ll go.” you finally say and they all celebrate. “Jake’s not gonna be there right?”

“Uhm,” Heeseung looks over to Jake’s lunch table nervously. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” you cock an eyebrow.

“He won’t be there,” Jay says. “It’ll be fine.”

You feel someone bump into your shoulder as you walk to history.

“What the hell?” you say and turn around to see who the culprit is. Of course it’s Jake. He shrugs with a half smile. That fucking ass.

After a few more classes you head home and start preparing for the bonfire party. It’s at a beach so you decide to wear your favorite bikini under your shirt and shorts. Your phone begins to buzz and it's a facetime call from Jungwon.

“Hola~” you greet him.

“Hi~” he says. “Can you take me there? My parents are at work.”

“Sure.” you say while putting all of your essentials into a purse.

“Also,” he hesitates. “I think Jake hyung is gonna be there.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I heard him talking about it during p.e.” he says quietly and you groan.

“Fuck, I don’t wanna go anymore.” you say.

“No you have to go, I will die without you.” Jungwon pleads. “It’ll be fun, we'll just stay away from him.”

“It’s gonna be hard to stay away from that giant ego taking up the whole place.” you roll your eyes.

“He’s not that bad noona, he’s actually pretty nice.” Jungwon shrugs.

“Don’t betray me like that,” you scold him. “You’re on my team alright?”

“Okay okay.” he surrenders, giggling.

You pick Jungwon up and give him the aux for the 30 minute drive to the beach.

You guys groove to SZA together.

Jungwon rolls down the window while you're on the highway and sticks his head out like a dog. He kind of is like a dog (in a good way). He’d be a shiba inu.

“Whoooo!!” he screams as the wind whips through his hair, you smile.

When you get there you park your car and get the beach towels from the backseat.

“Did you put sunscreen on?” you as Jungwon and he shakes his head. “Why do you never listen to me?”

You get a bottle of sunscreen out of your purse and rub a dollop on his face. He scrunches his nose.

“It feels like you're rubbing cake batter on me.” he complains.

“You’ll thank me when you’re fifty and you aren’t a wrinkly wreck.” you tell him while spreading it over his cheeks.

“Can we be done now?” he whines and you sigh.

“Fine.”

You two approach the crowd of people suntanning, drinking, playing volleyball, and playing in the ocean.

You drop your stuff next to Heeseung’s and Jay’s before looking around for them. They’re playing volleyball with who on the opposing team? Jake Sim.

Jungwon must’ve noticed you shooting lasers through your eyes because he grabs your arm. “Come on, let’s go swim.” he tugs his t-shirt over his head and jogs over to the water.

You follow suit, only feeling a little self conscious about stripping with Jake Sim only so far away. But it’s only because you don’t want to be vulnerable in front of your worst enemy, right?

Jungwon’s already relaxing among the waves when you get to the shore. “Why’d you go so deep?” you call out to him.

“It’s not that deep,” he says back.

You swim around with him for a bit before forcing him to look for pretty shells with you.

He gasps. “Baby crab!” he rushes to pick it up. “Look.” he holds it up to you.

You try to pet it without freaking it out. “What if it bites you?”

“It won’t, we’re friends.”

The sun is nearly gone by the time you’re done shell searching and swimming so you head over to the bonfire. You wrap a towel around yourself and snuggle up to Jay. He scrunches his nose.

“It’s cold,” you defend yourself.

Heeseung hands you a white claw and you crack it open.

“What are we doing now?” you ask but you can’t hear Heeseung’s answer over the sight of Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki sitting right across from you. You notice how the bonfire highlights the muscles in Jake’s chest and arms. The warm orange light washing over him makes it look like he’s glowing. Is this what Apollo would’ve looked like? “Huh?” you ask Hee.

“We’re probably just gonna play dumb highschool games.” he says.

You inhale and take a big swig of your seltzer.

“Truth or dare time~” Bree sing songs. “Sunoo truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Sunoo answers.

“Do you have a crush on anyone and if so, who?” she asks and he rolls his eyes.

“I have a crush on myself.” he says confidently.

“Fair enough, you go now.” she says to him.

“Heeseung hyung, truth or dare?” Sunoo asks.

“Dare,” he replies and Sunoo giggles.

“Give your phone to Jay and let him text anyone anything he wants.”

Heeseung groans and throws his head back. “Oh God.”

Jay cackles an evil laugh. “Gimme.”

Heeseung reluctantly hands Jay his phone. “You’re gonna text Sophie aren’t you.”

Sophie Morales, Heeseung ex. They broke up only a month ago after half a year of dating. This was about to be brutal.

“You know me so well.” Jay smiles.

“Please don’t say anything too horrible.” Heeseung pleads.

“Sophie,” Jay narrates his text message. “I miss you and your huge tits. Also I’m sorry for not telling you while we were dating but your feet are really fucking ugly.”

Heeseung buries his head into his hands, laughing. “Fucking Christ.”

“And your breath stinks,” Jay continues. “At least your boobs are nice.”

This is what I get for befriending males. You think to yourself.

“Alright that’s enough.” Heeseung snatches his phone away while everyone giggles. “My turn since I was the victim. y/n, truth or dare?” “Truth,”

“What’s your biggest regret?”

“Becoming friends with Jay, because he’s insane.”

Jay guffaws. “I’ve been nothing but good to you.”

You roll your eyes.

The game goes on for a bit until it lands on Jungwon.

“Noona, truth or dare?”

You’d usually go for truth, but you didn’t want people to think you were boring. “Dare.”

“I dare you and Jake hyung to talk to each other in private for at least five minutes.” he says, crossing his arms.

Your eyes widen and you look over at Jake, he looks like he wants to drown himself.

“What? Why?” you ask urgently.

“Because I’m tired of you guys hating each other for no reason. Now go.” Jungwon shoos you away.

“Yeah go talk.” Niki says to Jake.

Both of you don’t budge. Jay tugs at your arm. “Come on, Jake and y/n becoming friends!”

The whole group starts chanting. “JAKE AND Y/N BECOMING FRIENDS!”

You had to admit that their enthusiasm was kind of endearing, so you swallow your pride and walk over to the lifeguard tower. You hear him not far behind you.

You climb up the stairs and let your feet hang over the ledge of the patio.

He sits down next to you.

You let a few moments of silence pass before speaking up. “I don’t want to be here as much as you do, so let’s just wait for the five minutes to pass and then go.”

“Damn,” he says. “Do you really hate me that much?”

You roll your eyes. “What do you think?”

“What did I ever do to you?” he scoffs.

“I don’t need to justify my feelings.” you cross your arms.

“Why are you so dense?” he grumbles.

You whip your body over to him. “I’m the dense one?”

“Yeah,” he says proudly. You want to slap the smug look off of his pretty face. Normal face. Slightly, almost, barely good looking face.

“Such a prick,” you mumble, turning away.

“What’d you call me?” he scrunches his eyebrows.

You look him right in the eyes. You never noticed how dark and piercing they were. “A fucking prick. Cause you are one.”

His black hair is still damp and poking into his eyes. His lips are parted and they look so soft that you almost want to kiss him. But he beats you to it.

I should push him away. Push him away you dumbass. You kept telling yourself but you couldn’t do it. His lips felt too good against yours.

Your arms snake around his waist as he lays you onto your back.

You wish you had a hundred hands so you could touch all of him. Two weren’t enough. He feels like silk and he tastes like red velvet.

He pushes your jaw up so he can get to your neck. You exhale as his tongue dances on your skin. He grinds his hips into yours and you let out a small moan. Why are you letting him affect you like this? Idiot.

“I thought you hated me?” he smirks while kissing your chest.

“I do.” you breathe out.

“You sure?” he asks, his fingers traveling down your stomach and into your bikini bottoms.

“Mhm.” you say.

He kisses your collarbone. “People you hate don’t make you wet like this.”

That just makes you throb even more.

“Fuck off,” you say and he backs up.

“Really?” he says. “Because I will.”

You roll your eyes and pull him in by the back of the neck.

“Touch me,” you say and he happily obliges. You knew were in public but it was dark and honestly, you didn’t care.

“Such a slut,” he says while running a finger up and down your slit. “If you wanted me this badly you should’ve said so sooner.”

“I don’t want you asshole.” you breathe out as he circles your clit.

“You just asked me to touch you princess,” he kisses your neck. “I think that’s good evidence.”

You rub your fingers through the back of his hair and tug it back, exposing his neck. He lets out a small moan. You kiss his neck, sucking and nibbling every now and then. When you pull away there’s at least three red blotches that go from his throat to his chest.

“People are gonna see those you know?” he says.

“Whatever.” you roll your eyes.

“Are you marking me or something? Telling everyone that I’m yours?” he boasts.

It’s confusing how your anger is feeding into your lust for him.

“Shut up and fuck me.” you say and he cocks a brow.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” he kisses your cheek sweetly. You want to wipe it off and slap him in the face.

“Who do you think you are?” you scoff at him.

“Come on dont play with me,” he pushes one finger into you and you moan. “I can tell that you want it.”

It was true. You were practically gushing.

“More,” you say, wanting another finger.

“Where are your manners?” he smirks.

You swallow your pride. “Please?”

“Good girl,” he says and it sends tingles down your spine.

He pulls your bikini bottoms to the side and rubs his thumb up your slit. “Such a pretty cunt.”

Your thighs are already trembling.

“I really thought you’d still be hating me right now.” he says lowly. “Do I make you that weak?”

You snap to your senses for a moment. “Fuck you.”

“I am.” he snickers and you roll your eyes.

“Don’t give me attitude princess.” he warns you with a dangerous smile.

“Or what?” you test him.

“Do you really wanna find out?”

“What do you think you’re intimidating or something?” you ask and he scoffs.

He sits up and grabs your arm. “Get up.”

“What?”

“Get up.” he says sternly and you do.

He grabs your hand, leading you somewhere.

“Where are we going?” you ask, agitated. If you really didn’t want to go you wouldn’t, but you secretly wanted to continue what was going on.

“My car.”

“What? Why?”

“You’ll see.”

“Hey! Where are you going?” Jungwon calls out. “Don’t leave me!” “I’ll be just a second!” you reply with an unsure smile.

“Backseat.” Jake says as you approach his Mercedes.

So bossy, you think.

You sit in the back seat and before you know it he’s pulling you into his lap.

“Let’s continue shall we?” he says and you don’t waste any time getting your lips on his.

He pushes your hips down onto his and you whimper. You were already so wet and this was just making it worse.

“Please, I can’t wait any longer.” you say, not being able to hold it in.

“For what?” he nips at your neck.

“I need to feel you inside of me.” you plead.

“That’s better.” he tugs his shorts down and pulls your swimsuit to the side.

You grab the base of him before slowly sinking down. “Fuck yes.” you moan in relief.

He fills you up perfectly and his tip brushes your g-spot every time you bounce.

“So fucking tight.” he growls, holding onto your hips tight.

Your legs begin to tremble from the pleasure so he grabs you by the waist and lays you on your back.

He snaps his hips into yours and you whine.

He smirks. “Look at you all spread out for me,” he kisses your neck. “Taking this cock deep inside you.”

Your fingers trail down to rub at your clit. “Please don’t stop.”

He flips you over into doggy and tugs your hair, bringing your ear up to his mouth.

“Tell me how bad you want it.”

“Really bad,” you whimper.

He smacks your ass and you let out a small squeal.

“Touch with yourself while I fuck you.” he lets you go and you rest on the door. Your fingers move to play with your pussy.

His hands are tight on your waist as he pounds into you.

You feel your knees start to give out and your cunt start to pulse around him.

He chuckles. “Are you close sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” you exhale. “Please make me cum, please I need it so bad.”

“Why should I think you deserve it?”

“Please, I can’t hold it any longer.” you say and he stops his movements completely.

He gets close to your ear. “You get to cum when I say so okay?”

You accept defeat. “Okay.”

You start to get more and more flustered as he continues to fuck you just right.

“Fuck Jake I can’t,” you whimper and hold onto the car door for dear life.

He pulls out suddenly and you complain before feeling his tongue on you. Your body tenses up from the pleasure.

“You taste so fucking good,” he says and you arch your back, pushing your pussy into his mouth. He moans against you.

After only a couple circles on your clit with his tongue, you’re ready to come undone. You grab onto his hand.

“Wait wait I’m close,”

And before you can utter another word he slams his cock into you and brings his hand around you to rub your clit.

“Cum on this cock sweetheart, I know you can do it.” he encourages you.

He smiles as your moans get louder and more high pitched.

Your legs start to shake and he grabs you tight. He comes up to your ear. “Be a good girl for me won’t you.”

Your eyes roll back as bliss runs through your entire body. He was probably the best lay you’ve ever had.

Your body goes slack as he cums inside of you.

“Fuck,” he growls and slowly pulls out. He picks you up and holds you in his arms as you try to ride out the trembling.

“How am I supposed to clean up?” you ask.

“Maybe you can swim again?” he jokes and you punch him in the arm. “Do you still hate me?”

“One hundred percent.” you say confidently.

“Are you kidding?” he scoffs. “My kids are in you right now.”

You fake gag and he laughs.

#enhypen smut #Jake smut #Jake sim smut

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the-firebird69 · 3 years

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IPOs | Recent IPO Filings, Calendar of Upcoming IPOs, and IPO Data

We offered an i p o we were forced to cover it we covered it besides buy everything. They kept the stocks the same thinking that we can't take the companies over and that's what their attitude is and that's what they're doing regardless of what's happening we're taking the companies over was we bought and we bought our company back Sim you never put hard knock out

Didn't want you opening the hard-knock company because it's our company because you're the one who gave it up when not having him get anything that's how he said it you will not get anything a thing is what you said. Which is absurd to say to someone who's so smart and can sell things in absurd person I love you are we have sold you and we all built you in three months there's no motorcycle company on Earth that has built or sold as many as us and even combined they haven't and that's just Hardknock not including Sim bikes. And our cars are now selling more than your cars sell globally combined and soon it will overtake all vehicles and you won't have any on the road that are new none just Sim and public transportation is going to be ours shortly were building those two Orville those people do stuff looks like you I don't give a hateful a******* that's what got you here moron I'm hateful bang, mine hit you s, I'm fully loaded. We're going ahead and telling people that he was under extreme duress and his anger is up there and so is there is though they say most the time I want him to do well and we're going to take over your company in Miami and he's going to run it from wherever he wants to in ken be out on the yacht let me tell tell him Ken what to do I am ken get on the phone and tell them what to do. So flabbergasted sitting there exhausted sweating and tired and it's nuts are hurting them is sent to spend all day long and wasting time and energy and money putting holes in the roof and ruining it you're idiots cuz everyone told you how to fix it you won't listen making a message she wants to do an apartment that's it's a good idea he'll tell me about if he gets one he'll tell me right away this isn't going to listen and see what they say and then I'll get I got to get over to him and tell him that I said already already in space so Ken says that's what I say it is what we'd like him to do something like that you guys are using this company against those who want to use it against them and see if they can see it the necklace to see what we do with it and so far he's doing absolutely nothing so take advantage of

And by the way the Kraken will be up shortly and surely means very soon we're talking only a few hours we got everything lined up and ready to go and those kikker 5150 or all up there and DC in the Bronx in New York and Jersey price of Delaware most of its waste land and most of jerseys wasteland and you girls will send in the Martians it's Zig Zag's territory. And he says yes and he's going to do it and do you want to see these people. Georgie porgie and the noise that I make he says slapping people and get Tom Cruise out there to get dust all over him actually this is it cuz we're going to go ahead and do that and what time cruise to see what it's like in other people who are sitting there using and abusing and infusing and bothering and harassing you needed gone you're so dumb it's bad enough he's famous and everyone like wants to talk to him is he does that all the time Oru zoos and he rips a big one she's practiced for a long time. I'm going to pull that thing out of there I'm going to go over there and make sure it's going along so I keep saying it's going along

Weather now I'm talking about girls to help her out of the way that things going to things that need to be done so get them done so you can focus on getting it ready healthy feels okay so we're doing that and clear it all out and we're wrestling with people also new says this why is it so important to get it out you know why if you don't cut the crap and give you sitting right under me no offense but that's not it the severity is horrible here everything smells like s*** everyone smells like s*** they talk like it they look like it and they're like the the head guys you have to try and talk to you about some stuff and they don't talk straight and they hardly tell the truth and how they remember it and they're very mean and their temperament is nasty and all cannibals as like Wade through all that as you know and you do it a lot but sitting here the Thor father are going to be nearby not looking forward to it let's see what else can I eat well it's kind of competing with you up there.

We need a boost and we're going to get one because of Dave stager who's the electric bike guy he knows about it and said he's cold Kohl's your Frozen I was like electricians or something we have like these monkeys in your room from The Big bang theory yeah when will that happen probably when the queen moves out of the big tank so it's on now and it's going on there's tons of people and we have to move in and doing that the same time northlake computer but he wants that out today and he's insisting on it is asked too many times it's taking too long you had to get involved last time so he keeps on doing it every few minutes and is asking why do is it calculated is it fed is it monitored each area of it shoot and it says yes so is it on schedule for early evening . And no honest as the real answer is no not ready for early evening why is there anything I can help with usually it might be something that's already done on occasion or something that you're not thinking of her maybe I can't I don't know so going to tell you there's a few things in the way and a pretty big-sized one of them is right here knowledgeable about with me here just have to go there with me out and if you have to and that's the whole object of the game here and Thor is good at that as well as my wife and Nuada Arrianna, we have a consensus that we need to feed it more and what you're saying is why if it's livened up if it's moving and it's healed and a strong it's easier if it's not a huge it's hard to agree with you answer this it's got to be healthy and only has to be healthy yeah not really plump less plan for this case is decent and Thor agrees. Fully operational difference. So Nuada Arianna agree, we should not make him huge it should make him at optimal performance possible or at least 80% thinking about he'll be off tomorrow in like 10 minutes everybody agrees with that it's just start picking out and getting rid of you and eat whatever he wants so we decided something under here it's kind of the way it is we've got to win do we need to use it we need to get people in here we need to stop listening to all the stupid s*** I need to get the damn thing out of here so if it's going to come out fully intact at 80% like a whole bunch of them probably do then I get it out so I understand you're angry and you're expressing it all the time and you should be and I should be angry because I keep saying stuff like that it's a pain in the ass hasto we aired but I know is most come out a little small and most rare kind of smelly and not really up to speed about 70% and he's about 80 so he's ready so things are out of the way and it's trapped take it out right now right now is there anything preventing at right now because we're stopping ourselves from survival this is terrible this people blab every 5 seconds.

So I look at you and I say I don't understand what we're saying we have to do it during the day and we have to do it during the night and I don't know what you're saying you're saying we have to do it during the night now I figured out something you listen to what I'm saying and obviously means something during the day it's somewhat visible and during the night is not cuz it could be so indifferent with a gear Love Field Michelle us team is that a lot of steam I figure someone messing with a gear do the steam at night and really should. Also I got to straighten out this effing argument he wants it done and wants it done now and we have ways to do it and we're arguing in public for no damn reason except everyone wants to argue with him all the time such an addiction I don't want him arguing with anyone is tired he wants it out he wants to do the damn job you do it to me too I'm in the middle I don't know which way to go I need it done and he comes along and gets it done and it was sitting there watching me suffer and you know she doesn't want this tennis match it doesn't help him doesn't help hours and starting humoring Andy ever and going back and forth trying to get close to people. I'm starting to realize something I've been doing that for weeks and people are starting to get annoyed I don't stop doing that ask him what we need you went and kicked out of Ireland this is a piece of crap to you is not useful as risking your life there's no point to it so I'm going to do that and take all the stuff he doesn't he's a little s*** to I'm going to put Factory is wall-to-wall just like the did you say said but really they push us out and push this all over the place so they can't tell who we are huge pain in the ass because you lose track of people and you get weaker and that's what they're doing it for so I'm going to do that now I'm going to catch all the snakes that I chase out of there so he knows what to say so I'm mad this is what he going to do that if you're not helping to get this out and it's slowing the process you can go do it now cuz I need distraction in order to get this going leave it or not it's a lot easier so I'm going over there now and will provide distraction and he does need adhere to certain things that need to be done so I sign lobo and proxima midnight the 11th to come over here instead of beating them up I guess in Atlanta for some reason that's what I do so I understand so wow what do I do fire up that big two wheeler and roll cleaner and save the island it's awesome so I think we might do that the gang member perfect well and nobody noticed the Lobo was in East LA... Me too hahaha Proxima Midnight.

I vote we raise it now Thor

I vote we raise it now Hera

I vote we raise it now Zues

I vote we raise it now one for me one for her Nuada Arianna

I vote we raise it now to votes Isis and Rah

Tons are voting now finally

Olympus

They all say now. Who begin the protocols and we start to prep for it and put in heavy I'm starting to do it now isn't it goes over there is extinct anything it starts to warm is extinct any groups that start forming all of the world were going to hit where they are

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seawolvesanddragons · 6 years

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Merlin Short - The Youtuber AU

Alright, to start with, Gwaine [Username: AngrIrishman] mostly does prank videos; his is primarily a comedy channel. It starts off as in the moment pranks (probably while he is uni). As he gains more followers and grows more confident he starts doing a few sketches, usually the same characters in different scenarios (the series “drunk Irishman confused by British things is the number one favourite.) After a semester or two he drops out of uni, deciding it isn’t for him and he was only following family pressure, and he wants to do follow this youtube idea. He mostly pranks friends and family, all harmless stuff. After he meets Merlin he does a good deal of his pranks on him, but Elyan and Percival show up the mst as his victims (or partners in crime) since he’s lived with them both. He’s always willing to help out his friends with their videos, and often appears in Percival’s gaming competitions. Occasionally, for when Gwaine wants to address something serious or do a straight video of something bothering him, he has a series of “what’s aleing me today” where he talks about the serious stuff under the guise of drinking. His is one of the bigger youtube stars and his fame only skyrockets after he meets the others. Percival [AllTankedUp] started in youtube as just responding to some of the more ridiculous challenges (planking, cinnamon challenge, parkour, etc) but ended up accidentally setting a ton of records. He started getting a lot of followers suggesting more challenges for him to do. After a year or two he began

uploading video game run throughs after he purchased a video game and streamed playing it, not expecting anything big to come of it. The first video ending up trending for a few hours and requests came pouring in. However his biggest project, and the one he is most proud of and best known for, comes along in year three, after he met Elyan. They began recreating live action versions of video games, giant board games, etc. The internet fucking loses it over these videos. Most of them are endearingly low budget - the first is a live action super mario, where they had set up mushrooms and platforms in the park and a plushie princess peach is the prize. Elyan did MATH for this, guys. Percival has to do exactly what Elyan tells him to do when Elyan holds the “controller” and vice versa. The video is ten minutes long and mostly consists of them falling over. Percy barely wins in the end, but he holds the plushie up all proud, looking adorable. By the next day they have over a hundred subscribers asking for more. Some of the live actions are HUGE events, brining in all of Percy’s friends and acquaintances and even family members but that’s usually only once a year. Typically, it’s no more than Percy, Elyan, and Gwaine or Leon or Merlin. Elyan helps out a lot with most of the recreations, but Percival came up with the idea and is the driving force behind it. He also has a side channel for workout videos after 2 1/2 years of requests, where he posts irregular updates. Elyan [Elyuminati] gets pulled into youtube by Gwen, and starts out as the occasional guest star in her vlogs, before submitting the odd vlog video himself, usually just him ranting about whatever in his life is annoying him at the time. It was meant to just be a way to let off steam, he didn’t expect anyone to watch them, but Elyan has a certain kind of odd charm and humor that attracts a humble but loyal following. During his gap year he travels around Europe and posts a lot of video diaries as a way of keeping in touch with Gwen, and it steadily improves over time. He starts doing “day in the life of” or “creepy ghost tour” or just sharing crazy stories about his travels. Elyan’s not a bad artist, so he’ll sometimes recreate brief sketches of the crazy stuff that happened to him while narrating what is going on. After his gap year (which almost turned into two) he returned to the UK and ended up rooming with Percy, who he knew from youtube, and started getting a degree in maths. His channel with Percy to do live action games took off, and he ended up being offered a job at a radio station after a year or so. The radio felt he had a personality that worked over radio just as well as camera. His radio show has a little bit of everything in it: acting as a voice of the millennial people, sharing whatever crazy thing happened to him that week, traveling and reviewing places and (his latest obsessions) weird news stories and conspiracies. (Leon and Gwaine could be blamed for the last one.) He doesn’t post as much except for the game videos or guest starring in others, since’s he’s busy with his radio show, but he will occasionally do a vlog session now and again, usually on his theories on conspiracies, game of thrones, and why the cosmos hates him enough to stick him with Gwaine. Leon [GiantRedGnomes], unlike Percy and Elyan, actually means to start a youtube channel. He starts off with gaming videos, including a dramatic series of the SIMS that everyone gets a little too invested in. However Leon is very conscious of the good that youtube can do, and so he also starts doing more educational style videos with fun animation. His main topics are history (but the fun kind, he focuses a lot on the weird parts of European history that no one ever talks about) space and alien life, etc. He also reviews a lot of popular tv shows and movies and shares his thoughts, opinions, and predictions for them as well as how the nerdier stuff checks out. Being the gentleman that he is, he typically tries to post both spoiler and non spoiler versions. He and Merlin start a Dnd series where they do short campaigns with different members of their friend group and other willing youtube stars. Lancelot [Lancephew], like Leon, does youtube “for the greater good.” He started youtube in high school as a project to bring “truly great people” into the spotlight by interviewing the people in his town about amazing things they had done in their lives, and he still tries to post videos like that whenever he can. Half of his videos are him taking news stories, politics, economic theories, etc and explaining it in layman’s terms for the average viewer. He shares his own opinions in the video as well. During college Lancelot started adding a musical element to his interview stories, writing his own songs to bring into the background. This branched out into him writing instrumental music, which he often shares on youtube and itunes. Lancelot is currently doing a YouTube Red project in aide of a charity that is about small town civilians having to deal with a zombie dystopia in a realistic manner - asking questions such as “do we still have to pay for data?” “Can someone take my braces off.”) Also, he’s dating Gwen and they do really cute “ask us questions” and dating game videos that the internet loves. There are also several videos of his dog doing crazy things he manages to catch on film. Gwen [GwenSmash] is mostly a youtube vlogger, and she shares a little bit of everything. Her day to day life, sped up streams of the cosplay outfits she makes the group, sims and gaming videos, ask/advice videos, review videos, and stories in a series called “Growing up Gwen” where she shares moments of her childhood/teenage years having to deal with being the only girl in a household of guys, such as buying a bra, trying to find a video game character that is a female without exposed breasts, etc. After she gets to know all the guys better, she will share moments of being one of the few girls among many guys, and has no shame in calling them out. Half of her twitter is photos of the guys holding up a sign saying “I said/made *insert sexist remark here*.” She doesn’t really try to limit herself to one brand and just does all kinds of videos. She and Morgana are often work together/guest star in each other’s videos as flatmates and best friends. Morgana [ExplodingSparkles] got into youtube during college at Gwen’s encouragement. She liked to create her own music mashups and Gwen starting encouraging her to share them on youtube. Nowadays, she and Lance will team up occasionally to do music together, and she has written a few of her own songs, all released on youtube/itunes. A LOT of her video vlogs are feminist, LGBTQA, and wealth inequality rants, typically following her having to talk to Uther. She as a popular series called “Ask Morgana” where she answers questions her subscribers ask her. The beginning/middle of her channel (when it was getting big) has a lot of anger and rant videos about everything wrong with the world. Morgana eventually grew out of her angry stage, and began discussing the issues from a healthier pov, such as how you can be an ally, etc. She also started doing a lot more comedy sketches, all written and directed by herself. Some of them just have her in it as multiple people, others have her and Gwen or other guest stars. Some of them are just sketches about funny moments in her life, but most are original content, such as “Smart Shakespeare in Five Minutes” where she acts out a sketch of Shakespeare’s plays where everything goes very differently, usually based on one character making a smarter decision. Arthur [KingCamelot] started doing youtube in his final year of boarding school, and for the first year or so he and Morgana both tried to hide the fact that they were doing youtube from each other, until one day Morgana stumbled across his channel after it was recommended after one of Gwen’s videos. This was over summer break and the result was her barging in during one of his vlogs, and the entire (loud and hilarious) conversation was caught on film. Arthur later uploaded it to youtube, and neither will admit it is one of their favourite videos. Arthur kept it in a vlog style during uni, sharing his thoughts on current events, challenge videos, his favourite books and tv shows, his daily life and his struggle with uni/the business degree his father wanted him to get. He ended up switching to film editing sophomore year after Morgana, Leon and other youtuber friends supported his ideas. While it made things rockier with his father, Arthur was much happier. Videos became much more frequently after that, and Arthur began to guest star in his friends videos as well. Arthur became a big name on youtube almost instantly, largely because of his good lucks and his notoriety as the son of a famous parliament member, but remained a big name through his own merit. About midway through his time at uni Arthur began to post videos about insightful topics about things that suggested he was starting to see the world a bit differently. After he graduated about 4 years ago, it started to turn into full blown advocacy and outreach videos raising awareness for social change. Of course, Arthur didn’t get to that point by himself. Enter Merlin, stage right. Merlin [MerlinTrixx] started youtube HIS final year of public schooling, about two years after Arthur. He started with just short simple vlogs and magic tricks that even professional magicians couldn’t figure out. He followed Gwen and Morgana and saw Arthur a few times in their videos or recommended suggestions. After picking up on Arthur’s rather one sided view of how wealth and poverty work he called him out on it in a private message. Arthur did NOT take it well. There began a video war where both boys passive aggressively mentioned the other. Before it got to far, however, they accidentally ended up meeting at a youtube convention. (Arthur was there to speak on a panel, Merlin went to learn editing tips). The recognized each other and ended up talking for the remaining two days of the convention and became fast friends. Gwen, who had known Merlin through uni for about a year now, had had no idea that Arthur and Merlin had been complaining to her for the past few months about each other and was ready to knock sense into both of them when she found out. After becoming friends, Arthur and Merlin began showing up in each other’s videos more. Merlin, who hated his roommates, began hanging around more at Arthur and Leon’s flat (they went to a different uni in the same city, but had moved off campus) instead of Gwen’s as much. By the end of sophomore year, Merlin had gained a decent number of followers and his channel consisted of vlogs, his magic tricks, him and Arthur hanging out and being weird, and sharing his vast and unparalled knowledge of all things fantasy and nerdy. He, Leon and Gwen get into the longest discussions when they do reviews together. Merlin takes some time off of school, still unsure what he wants to do beside youtube, and moves in with Arthur to split the rent. The videos continue in earnest, and views/followers for both boys continue to grow as they feed off of one another, make more compilation videos, and add more content. After a couple of years, more than half their followers are wondering if they are more than just flatmates, but they are keeping quiet on the matter. The both still have their own channel, which they update frequently, but they also have a shared channel where they do reviews of shows they both like, ask/challenge requests, gaming videos, a few prank videos - they got into a prank way with Percy, Elyan and Gwaine once. Morgana and Gwen somehow won. They also do a deep discussion on Arthurian legend and other mythos, in comedic style. They are known as the “Avalon Nine” - a nickname given to them by the internet after they learned they all knew each other and they frequently appear in each others videos now that they all live in the same city. Morgana and Gwen had met in boarding school, and are currently living together after Morgana moved back after Uni until Lancelot finally asks Gwen to marry him, which Morgana suspects will happen soon. Gwen met Merlin at their uni, the same city that Arthur and Leon were going to uni in. Arthur already knew Gwen through Morgana and they had hung out fairly often, which only increased after they both befriended Merlin. Merlin and Gwen both met Lancelot separately at youtube conventions, and thought it hilarious the day they found out they both knew him. Lancelot moved to the city after graduating uni. Elyan met everyone through Gwen and Morgana met everyone through Gwen and Arthur. Gwaine met Merlin at a convention and later Merlin recognized him auditing his film class for “free editing tips/ideas.” They became fast friends and Gwaine spent a few nights in Merlin’s dorm when his water or heat wouldn’t work. He moves in with Elyan when he comes back from his gap years. Lancelot and Percival, who knew each other prior to the rest of the group, lived with each other for a while before the landlord sold the building. Lance moved to a single while Percival moved in with Elyan and Gwaine. There have been a series of “who knows you better” challanges and games throughout the group, including ones based off of dating games, best friend games, and family games. Merlin and Arthur have won them ALL. Even against Lancelot and Gwen that one time. Leon shared in one of his videos that Arthur and Merlin are also banned from teaming up in charades, pictonary and catch phrase in the gaming videos because they are undefeatable and possible psychic. Bonus: Mordred is obviously much younger than the others (just now starting Uni while the others are in their mid to late twenties). So he grew up watching a lot of their earlier stuff and he just idolizes them. He somehow managed to befriend them through social media/convenstions and is a bit surprised he is actually on first name basis with these amazing, talented (giant dorks). He appears in their videos sometimes but is hesitant to upload anything on his own channel for a long time, since it is harder to get started on youtube now than it was for his older friends. After some encouragement he uploads a few, and the whole group advertises him since they all kind of adore him, he’s like a little brother. Unlike the others though, Mordred doesn’t vlog or do video games or reviews or anything. Oh no. His videos are all freestyle rapping/spoken word poetry. About whatever catches his fancy. The weirdest thing is they’re GOOD. Its at such odds with his personality but it is what it is. Gwaine has started a betting pool on when Mordred reaches 1,000 subscribers. Cenred is a little asshole who does mean/staged prank videos and blogs full of sexist and racist remarks on youtube. The group hates him, half of youtube boy cots him and he has had several scandals. Elena is a youtube they all know and are friendly with, but because she lives in Scotland they aren’t as close. She does a lot of gaming videos, embarrassing stories from her life, and videos about her horse. Morgause is a powerful admin/part owner of youtube and constantly makes decisions that hurt most independent and creative youtubers. At one point she tried to flag coming out videos or videos with content/opinions she didn’t agree with. She also pressures them to do advertising and tampers with the recommended and trending list. The group pushes back against these regulations, and it turns into an all out war, where Gwaine, Merlin and Arthur are all nearly banned from youtube before Morguase is fired.

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centaurianthropology · 6 years

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The Magnus Archives ‘Tucked In’ (S03E06) Analysis

The newest episode of ‘The Magnus Archives’ comes with a new perspective, a new narrator, and a new variation on an old entity. The combination of a nicely disquieting story and some good information about two of our characters rounds out a solid entry. Come on in to hear what I think about ‘Tucked In’.

First off, let’s talk about the story. Melanie took over the heavy lifting this week for a very nicely narrated, spooky story. I have to give Jonny Sims some kudos on his description of the body in the blankets, as that is pretty much what a 2-week-old body wrapped in blankets does look like. As for what it smells like … yeah, I could tell you that too, if you were interested. But for the sake of readers who don’t want to know what two weeks of hard decomposition smells like, I’ll give it a pass for now. Suffice to say, research for this show continues to be top-notch.

I have to wonder if the monster this week is related to Mr Pitch, the being that was worshipped by the People’s Church of the Divine Host. Certainly it seems related to the dark and to fear, both of which were the focuses of the People’s Church. If it wasn’t Mr Pitch itself, I imagine it to be another aspect to the Darkness. One that won’t actually strike until the fear fades, and it’s done having its fun.

It’s interesting that so far most of the aspects of the Darkness tend to speak. There’s chanting, and words, and whispers. The Darkness, despite being vast and hollow, isn’t silent. It’s alive with noises and movement. I don’t know if that fact is relevant to anything, but I did find it interesting.

As well as elaborating on the aspects of the Darkness, we got some good information about both Melanie and Tim. Tim continues to dodge actually doing narration duty. At this point, I have to wonder if this is some sort of instinctual fight against the influence of the Archive. After all, those who have narrated seem far more deeply enmeshed in the Archivist than he does. Could it be that some part of him knows that actually narrating a statement and giving the Archivist that foothold in him would be to truly give up the fight against where he is and what he’s becoming?

Tim is falling apart now as badly as Sims did last season. His despair and his anger are preventing him from doing … anything apparently. He’s choked by it, trapped by it, and utterly defeated by it. Everything we hear from him points to a man who can’t see a way out of his situation and hates it more and more.

If Sims’ character arc last season was all about how his paranoia was detonating his life, I get the feeling we’re going to be seeing a parallel story this season about Tim’s anger. The problem is that both the paranoia and the anger were rooted in totally justifiable places, but both rapidly spiraled out of control and into something that was indiscriminately destructive. So Tim is managing to both keep himself free of the tangles of the Archive by sheer force of will, while also potentially hurting those around him.

I think a big part of this stems from Tim’s background, and how it shapes how he views his situation. We certainly don’t have a lot of information about Tim prior to the Institute, but we do know that he came out of a good job that had a lot of professional promise. His only apparent prior connection to the supernatural was a fascination with Robert Smirke, but we don’t know if it was that which prompted his move out of publishing and into research. So unless there was some spectacular failure on his part that forced him out, he chose to move to the Magnus Institute to follow another interest. Out of all of them, really, he had the most choice when it came to working there. He’s the only one with consistent outside connections, and potential for a ton of other jobs, wheras both Melanie and Martin were more or less railroaded by the Beholding and circumstance into their current employment. But Tim had friends. Tim had opportunities. Tim had an active social life throughout season 1, though it’s unclear if he’s up to dating right now. But he was clearly a guy a lot of people got on well with. He was a good guy with a dorky sense of humor, and life was fairly excellent for Tim.

So imagine going from that to realizing you’re in a job that will likely kill you, and you can’t quit. Imaging being a guy who has defined himself by his independence, suddenly being very effectively caged. Imagine mourning a friend (while your coworker is stubbornly clinging to the idea that she’s still alive) you can’t even properly remember.

Tim fell hard and fast, and he hates it. He hates the helplessness of it, the fact that his ability to leave was taken from him, and because of that, he hates everything and everyone associated with the Institute. For a while I thought it was just Sims he was mad at, but hearing him talk about Martin? It’s everyone there, no matter if they deserve his anger or not.

Contrast this to Melanie, who is rapidly becoming a pragmatic highlight of the team. It turns out that, yeah, Martin did try to belatedly warn her about the Archives (Tim instantly jumped to him omitting that, pointing to yet more resentment from Tim regarding everyone around him), and she doesn’t particularly care. And you know what? I completely understand her perspective. Their world is dangerous for anyone who stumbles into the dark. Melanie got shot by a ghost in India, and bankrupted herself doing it. She only had this one way out. One job that would dig her out of being broke and friendless, and you know what? Being weirdly protected by an otherworldly horror as she does exactly what she had been doing before isn’t the worst thing in the world. It’s certainly no more dangerous than what she had been doing when she was independent. It’s steady, it’s a job, and she’s investigating the supernatural with way more resources at her disposal than she ever has before.

I that, I actually think Melanie and Martin have a lot in common. They both came from places of desperation when the Institute took them in. This job is, in many ways, exactly what they want. Martin understands it’s not for everyone, which was why I think he did try to warn Melanie. After all, Tim loathes being trapped in the Archives, and the last thing Martin needs is another miserable soul moping around the stacks when he’s barely holding the department together as is. And even though he doesn’t know her, he doesn’t want Melanie killed by some otherworldly horror, either. All the rest of the Archival staff is trying to protect her, and I don’t know if she hasn’t really understood how dangerous the Archives can be yet, or if she genuinely thinks that this is about equal to what she was facing before. I suppose the info-dump she’s about to receive from Sims might clarify that a bit for her.

But I think, even with the new information, she’s not going to shrink from this. Melanie isn’t miserable, and she isn’t helpless, and she needed this job. In spite of her new coworkers fearing for her safety, she’s actually handling integration into what the Archives does and what it is surprisingly well. She reacted to the statement in a similar manner to early-season-1 Sims: disbelief, but instinctual caution. And she might be far more practical and far less blustery than he was.

If she and Martin ever seriously talk, I think they’ll find that their attitudes regarding their situation are quite similar. The job isn’t the best, but then what is? Yes, they may well die doing it, but they could die for any reason at any time. Martin’s found something almost like a family in the Archival staff (or at least something close enough to a family that he’s willing to drag them the rest of the way to that concept), and Melanie can pursue a sense of purpose. Even assisting Sims gives her more information, and more direction for her own investigations into war ghosts.

The funny thing is, thinking about it, Sims is this odd bridge between Martin and Melanie on the one hand, and Tim on the other. Sims didn’t come from anywhere to miss. His life is marked by a lack of connection, and researching the paranormal was his only goal since the Mr Spider incident. So he came into the job like Melanie or like Martin. But he also resents and wants to quit the job, like Tim, since he’s seen how bad it can get.

But the thing is that, unlike Tim, that passion for research is still there, twisted into the addiction of the Archivist. He has to search and find information, yes, but he also loves it, even as he’s terrified by it. Of all of them, Jon has the most complicated relationship with his role and with the Institute, and if all of them were to ever really sit down and hash some things out, he might well be the best bridge between all their goals and desires.

By the end of the episode, of course, he did start reaching out. He was even practical about it. Reaching out to Melanie really does make the most sense. Tim loathes Sims enough to tell Daisy about him, Elias is pretty much 100% a murderer, and Martin ‘the closest one to Jonathan Sims’ Blackwood is definitely being surveilled by Daisy in hopes of finding Sims. I hope Melanie fills Martin in at least, and gets his cooperation. Sims is going to need more than one person on his side in the Institute, and Martin could be a great help. If Melanie could convince him it wasn’t safe to go and see Sims himself.

Conclusions

A solid horror story couched in getting to know Melanie a little better, and also getting a closer look into Tim’s mental state. Melanie continues to be acerbic and pragmatic, which makes me continue to really like her. Tim’s anger and frustration run very deep, and both are currently paralyzing him. I both look forward to and dread what happens when he finally finds an outlet for that anger. If it’s some sort of research in trying to find a way out of his contract, that might be hugely useful, but I worry that it’s going to be Daisy Tonner instead. I worry that, by the end of the season, Tim’s anger is going to get A LOT of people hurt. He and Sims really need to have a chat about unhealthy coping mechanisms. Melanie and Martin need to bond over still sort of enjoying their jobs. And Martin at least needs to know Sims is okay, if nothing more. Let him send Melanie with a sandwich or something.

#The Magnus Archives #analysis

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far-off-flower-fields · 4 years

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Don’t mind me just find more random questions to answer to distract me until I’m tired enough to sleep.

How many times each morning do you press the snooze button? I don’t usually have to set alarms these days.

What time of day do you like to shower? Night

When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Usually no sides because I’m not rich and if I have to pick between a side and a dessert I will get dessert.

What do you spend more money than necessary on? I’m bad with money, toys probably, or clothes. I buy second hand, but I shouldn’t be buying anything that isn’t specifically planned in advance right now since I need to save to move.

What video game or computer game are you best at? I’m really bad at games, so maybe Sims 4 or something. I like games, I play them when I have the energy, I just really suck.

How do you normally come across new music? Spotify, sometimes my Fiance.

What do you keep your keys on? A turtle keyring.

Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Not really, I wear a lot of pastel colours, and they’re my favourites. Although I also wear neutrals and black if I’m doing a different look since my wardrobe is like 4-in-1 because I’m a million people at once.

Do you buy books or get them from the library? I used to read all the time, I’d go to the library and hire like 7 books and go through a book a day. Now I can’t concentrate so I just don’t read. I have several books in my posession that I need to read though if I ever get better.

What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? I say fuck the food pyramid.

Do you check PostSecret weekly? I have no idea what that even is.

What do you use your stovetop for most? Sitting things on. Or pasta. I made hokey-pokey the other month though to use up the last of the syrup someone bought.

Do you notice the impact of the economic recession? Yes, I saw so many posts on Gumtree of people having to give up their pets for financial reasons and it was really heart breaking.

Would you enjoy living somewhere where it's sunny all the time? Absolutely not. The sun gives me headaches and migraines.

What is it that you always seem to lose? My will to live xD Honestly though I lose like everything because I have to keep my entire life in a single room of my parents house rn.

Have you ever broken any bones? One, because I couldn’t handle the thought of going to work. I’m more prone to tendon damage.

What is your winter coat like? Which one? I have a mint green one which is waterproof and fluffy inside, I have a brown duffle coat one that flares out a bit, and I have a grey long coat. I also had to declare bankruptcy.

Do you keep dirty clothes in a hamper, or on the floor? Both, I have a system.

Which decade's music do you like best?: I can’t pick.

Can you focus on studying if there's music on? Yes, as well as I can really focus in general.

In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? When I have a migraine or sensory overload.

Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? NO. PE is the only class I failed.

If you had to choose a wardrobe to steal, who's would you pick? No, I have worked hard on mine to get it to the point its at.

If you had to pick one thing to bring back from the 90's, what would it be? Most of that stuff has already come back in one form or another, or never really gone away. Like you can get the toys second hand, furby has been rereleased like 3 times, clothes you can also still get second hand and the styles are pretty easy to copy anyway.

What about the 80's? Same as above.

Do you share any of your music taste with your parents? I share parts of my music taste with pretty much everyone, I have a really varied music taste, there isn’t a single genre I can say that I hate all of, there are ones I’m fairly unfamiliar with but I always loved music so I like a lot of it.

Could your parents tell when you would fake sick? I was sent in whether I was sick or not so there was no point in even trying. Only way I was allowed off was if I literally threw up in front of them which didn’t happen much, or the few occasions where my allergies gave me conjunctivitis.

Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? More.

Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? I have a Quasimodo plushie that I had when I was like 3. My parents always threw everything away or gave it away so I don’t even really have baby pictures, except like one I got from my grandparents place when they died.

Are there any stores that send you e-mail newsletters? A couple, but that’s just from buying things in the past.

Do you think people overuse the word "random"? Now not so much, but back in the 00s and early 10s it was used a lot more.

How often do you floss? Never, my teeth are a bit overcrowded so I can’t fit the floss in without pain and bleeding.

Do you use hairspray much? Never, I used it for a couple of stage shows I was in when I was a lot younger and that was about it.

Who is your favorite painter? I don’t really have one because there are so many, if I’m picking out of just the really famous ones then either Monet or Van Gogh.

Are art museums interesting or boring to you? Interesting

What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? PE needs significant changes to be at all worth the cost of running it. Once I hit my 20s I found out that there actually are some physical activities that I enjoy and missed out on. I think they should make it more free-form, if the concern really is health then surely letting people find and do the fitness tasks that work for them is better. If I’d been brought into a gym with actual gym equipment and they explained, okay, this does this, and this does this, try things out with a spotter and see what you like and what works for you, I’d have been much better of and have had some degree of physical fitness by now. They could also have offered option modules where instead of forcing everyone to do the same shit they let you pick, then I’d have been able to do yoga and dance and skipped out on the team sports they were pushing that literally lead to so much bullying and injuries because it’s about being competitive so they can send they sport inclined kids off to do competitions and win the school more money for the sports department and it’s a big nasty cycle of, damage some kids in favour of others, and lie to them all while making it compulsory for several years. Sorry this is a big ol’ sore spot with me because it is hugely indicative of many of the issues with many school systems in general, and while kidding on it’s for the youth, is actually just hurting them. FUCK.

When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I had like two modes, there was the days where people would play with me and we’d mash-up characters from the shows/movies we were watching (mostly charmed, totally spies, and xmen) and play as them in this whole made up world. Other days I’d walk around the tennis court trying to stay on the lines if it was empty or I’d just walk around the school daydreaming.

Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? I’m scared of the dark so I’m more afraid than annoyed. If I’m in the right situation it can be okay, but I never am because I don’t live with my Fiance and we can never afford candles.

Do you know how to use an ATM? Yes.

How about write a check? No.

Are you in to your heritage much? Sort of, not of my specific family, but Scotland’s cultural history and the like is interesting.

Are you pretty politically correct? I resent that term, it’s like the term “cancelled” where some brat decided to make it into something controversial to be nice, and considerate, and tactful, or to hold others accountable and expect them to hold themselves accountable. These are basic things you should be doing, do you need to use slurs? NO what are you losing by not using them? Nothing. What are you gaining by using them? Nothing. We gain nothing as a society by being intentionally offensive or winding folk up. You’re not thought provoking, we already came to the conclusion that certain things are shit, the next step isn’t to continue with your jokes, it’s to stop that shit and do the right thing to the best of your ability. FFS what does it cost people to just be nice? NOTHING.

What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? Some of the shoes the now are, lumpy and weird? Like they stick out in places I can’t imagine being practical. Also mullets.

What do you wear when you exercise? Ummmm depends what I was wearing immediately beforehand, if it’s fine then I just stick with that since I don’t do anything especially heavy-duty. If it’s not, I just grab some sort of top and shorts or leggings, whatever I put my hand on first honestly. A lot of the time I’m just wearing onesies with little monsters all over and they’ll do the job so I just stay in them.

What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? It varies, sometimes I put on some rain sounds or something. The only consistent thing is that I have to go to the loo whether I need to or not, that’s one of those things I assumed literally everyone did but it turns out they don’t and I just held onto the methods that were used to toilet train me as a bub xD If I’m alone I also have a system I have to use to check the doors are locked or I can’t sleep and have to get back up to check, but I don’t have the house to myself that often so...

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