#then they stand five feet apart cause they’re not gay. obviously. look at how normal they’re acting (coughs)

[pxparkerr]

it’s a crime this comic didn’t have half a second of “oh this is kind of gay isn’t it”

#then they stand five feet apart cause they’re not gay. obviously. look at how normal they’re acting (coughs) #spideypool #spider-man / deadpool issue 45

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

@sarahreeese​ here’s your reesker prompt! merry christmas! 

She’s sitting on Sarah’s lounge chair. Her feet up casually on the end. Her long milky-colored legs are hypnotizing. She’s a painting, she’s a masterpiece. But who hung it? How the hell did she get in Sarah’s apartment? 

“The fruit really is better here,” Ava takes a deep bite into her peach.

Sarah’s peach.

“Dr. Bekker?...uh, what, how-what are you doing in my house?”

She went back to the peach, it was true, they really were better down here. The sweetness clean after each bite.

“I heard the weather was similar here as in Pretoria.”

Sarah casually threw her bag in her armchair, still not taking her eyes off the painting in front of her. She knew very little about Ava. A talented surgeon who often butted heads with Connor. Sarah could relate. His ego and sway in the hospital was one of many reasons Sarah had to go. Her fathers were the first. 

“That doesn’t answer why or how you got in here.”

Sarah’s moving to the kitchen. Ava rolls her eyes and goes back to her peach.

“I admire the move Dr. Reese, what an adventure! Oh, and the hair.”

Sarah puts a few curls behind her ears, the ones that always fall in front of her eyes. Her long curly bob makes sense for the hot Texas weather but the observation makes her blush. As does the perplexity of this uninvited visit. Ava’s so high on her ego she isn’t paying attention to Sarah, who’s in her kitchen plugging up her dead phone. She’s going to call the police. This behavior is a deviation of the norm. A social violation. She begins to make some iced tea. Ava is still enjoying her peach. Sarah walks to the living room and sits. Her long legs crossing under her flowing skirt. Her presence is enough for Ava to actually pay attention. Sarah isn’t the unsure resident anymore, the woman sitting across from Dr. Bekker feels formidable and her curiosity isn’t satiated by a so called “adventure” explanation. The rube she was hoping for doesn’t live in Texas. Ava rolls her eyes again.

“Fine, I had a bit of a falling out with Connor, I don’t think Gaffney is where I belong.”

Still not pleased. Fuck.

“Everyone is so loyal there, turns out Connor has a few more allies than I do...I know you left too, men can be so disappointing amirite?”

Ava giggles nervously at the end. Sarah’s gaze is unnerving, one she never gave much attention to. Obsession will do that, all Ava ever saw was Connor, Sarah was one of the only memories of anyone she could recall, someone who didn’t seem like a such a goody-goody...and then there was the subject of her parentage.

“Why are you here?”

Dammit.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to get away from a place where your name is sullied?”

Now Sarah is rolling her eyes. She goes to the kitchen and slices a few lemons. The tea has steep long enough. She fills two glasses full of ice, freshly brewed tea, and garnishes it with lemon. Her phone is at five percent, she’s left her good charger at work.

“Dr.Bekker-.”

“-Ava.”

“Ava, why are you here? In my apartment? How’d you get in here?”

Ava looks down at the nut from her peach.

“And don’t tell me it’s because ‘the froot is so much betta heyre.’”

Her mouth is agape at Sarah’s impression of her, but then she smiles and so does Sarah.

“You didn’t talk past me like Connor was the only one capable of surgery, everyone else did...I didn’t make very many friends when I was in Chicago.”

Sarah’s raises an eyebrow. Bitch.

“Fine, I didn’t make any friends other than Connor.”

“How did you get in here?”

“The building manager, I told him you were my girlfriend and if he just let me in I’d tape us and let him watch.”

Now they both are laughing. He’s fired. Between his butt-crack showing, his bad breath tainted with chew, and his constant unwanted advances, Sarah has had it. She’s pretty sure he messes with the hot water heater so she’ll have to deal with him.

“I admire what you did, I mean that, you left and didn’t look back and I want that too.”

Sarah knows it isn’t the entire truth but it’s enough, the details aren’t her business. Sarah’s phone is still too low to turn on and she’s getting hungry. She pulls a pot out to begin boiling water, her eyes periodically on Ava who is doing something strange. She hasn’t looked at her phone once. She wasn’t reading anything on it and she hasn’t checked to see if she’s missing any calls or texts. Sarah knows it’s the part of the details she hasn’t gotten. 

“Who are you avoiding?” Sarah asks as she sets a plate of pasta in front of Ava.

“People are so boring, is there really any other way to deal with them other than to avoid them?”

Fair enough. Sarah’s phone is at twenty-five percent. She could make the call but she keeps catching herself staring at Ava’s long neck, the way she licks her lips after slurping up her noodles, the lure of her hazel eyes which seem to have the same curious gaze as Sarah’s upon her.

“She did make that girl-on-girl joke.”

Sarah allows Ava to tag along on her plans. She was planning a walk along the lake and then grabbing a bottle of wine before tucking in a movie. Ava has other ideas. She tells Sarah to leave the bottle in the car and soon they are at Pegasus. Does Ava know? Sarah’s been visiting a few of these places lately. 

“I’ve decided I’m done with men, you with me?”

Ava’s invitation is more than enticing, it’s how Sarah’s been living her life here in Waco. They walk up and hand their I.D. to the doorman and Sarah gets an eyeful of Ava’s and realizes for the first time what seems different about her. Ava’s hair is brown but her I.D. is blond. Immediately the bartendar who looks too gay to function recognizes Sarah. He starts with her favorite mix drink and gives her a look at the woman to her side. Sarah blushes a little as Ava orders two shots and a glass of whiskey.

“Oh, no I’m good.”

Sarah is frowning at the drink,she isn’t a shot girl.

“Come now, don’t make me drink these alone.”

The shots go down easy and energize Sarah to the dance floor. She’s a better dancer than Ava would think. She can find a beat, and Ava can’t help but pull her towards her. Their thighs meet as they gyrate. Her stare is more intense than a minute ago. What does she want from her?

“I have to work in the morning!”

Sarah yells over the music so they grab a Lyft home leaving Sarah’s Prius at the bar.

When they open the door Ava is pulling Sarah in to kiss her. Her lips are so soft. Ava seems prickly but her skin, her lips, they’re soft. Sarah pulls away.

“You can take the couch if you need somewhere to crash.”

She’s not going to let Ava sleep her way to a bed. Besides, no matter how nice the day has been Sarah can’t shake those hidden details of Ava’s impromptu visit.

“Do you really want to end the night this way?”

Ava leans in for another kiss and Sarah kisses her back. But it is. She has trust issues.

“I can’t.”

Ava huffs as Sarah opens her linen closet and pulls out a couple of blankets. She tosses them Ava’s way. They lay awake on opposite walls. Sarah wondering how the energy of her little apartment has been thrown off by the stranger in the other room. Ava is wondering how long she can keep her secret.

Sarah is making coffee, her movements wake Ava who follows suit and is in the shower. There’s a loud shriek coming from the bathroom.

“Ah, it’s cold!”

“Oh, yeah give me a second!”

Sarah sets off down the hall to the building manager’s office. The knob twists but the door won’t open. Sarah pushes at it using minimal strength to no avail so she has to bust at it using her shoulder. 

“Damn! Tony, where are you, what’s going on with the door?” she started as she walks towards his office, “The wa-.”

She’s stopped in her tracks. Tony is sitting in his chair but he’s not moving, he’s so stiff. His eyes are still open, they are somewhat opaque. He’s not there. Her hand quickly goes to her mouth, poor Tony.

Sarah’s heads back to her apartment, she’s somewhat dazed. She’s seen dead bodies before but on her terf, her time. Not like this. She grabs her cell phone.

“Sarah?” 

Ava is out of the shower, obviously cut short because of the temperature. Sarah’s already dialed 911.

“I don’t know why I didn’t use the office phone,” she says to Ava, “-Yes, I’m here, there’s a man downstairs, my building super... he’s dead…-yeah, no-my name is Dr. Sarah Reese, trust me he’s dead.”

Sarah hangs up the phone and turns to talk to Ava, who is packing her things, quickly.

“-What are you doing?” Sarah asks, “You might need to stay to give them a timeline, he looks like he’s been dead a while.”

Ava isn’t listening she’s piling her things in.

“You have a medical background, between you and the coroner I don’t see how I’m going to be helpful.”

“You spoke with him earlier you may have been the last-.”

Sarah stops. Deviation from societal norms. Ava is zipping up her bag.

“Why did you dye your hair?”

Ava is putting on her shoes, she’s in flight mode. Sarah can hear the dispatch on the other line.

“I’m still here, send a patrol too.”

That stops Ava. She stands up.

“Just give me 20 minutes to get ahead.”

She plows past Sarah and is running down the hallway. Sarah is still too shell-shocked; confused. Ava doesn’t need twenty minutes, the police and EMT’s arrive in thirty. It’s not like it’s an emergency. 

“Just to confirm she’s about 5-7 or 5’8, 120lbs hazel eyes and blonde hair?”

“Yes, blonde.”

Why did she lie? She doesn’t know the cause of death for Tony and this is just stupid. But she holds to the statement, goes to work and goes back to her life. 

She takes her normal Thursday night stroll on the lake. She lets a few ashes go at a time. They are the ashes of the newspapers of her father’s case, the missing posters, and blurbs of his victims. She lets those pieces go here. 

“What do you drop in there?”

The unmistakable accent, her voice. Sarah’s heart is racing. What is she doing here? 

“What are you doing here Ava?”

Sarah is trying to hide her fear. She knows now what Ava’s done. To Cornelius and probably Tony too.

“I told you I like it here.”

She takes a step toward Sarah and Sarah takes a step backward.

“Dr. Reese, you’re not afraid of me are you?”

Sarah takes a step forward. She’s doing her best to hide her fear.

“No, you don’t scare me Ava.”

Ava takes a step closer, her face inches from Sarah as she smiles. She lets Ava kiss her, she wants to kiss her. She wants to remember her lips. Their night dancing and drinking. 

“Come with me,” Ava breathes.

“I can’t, you’re a fugitive Ava.”

Ava steps back, her brown hair makes her eye color sing, it’s a tune Sarah would gladly hum if she hadn’t already sang like a bird to the police.

“What is it about you?” Ava wonders as she studies Sarah’s face.

“I’m still finding that out,” Sarah answers.

Ava steps back again and is quickly gone. 

A postcard once every few months from Oklahoma, California, Alaska, London. Always the same message.

“Come with me.”

#chicago med secret santa #reesker

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

From Grey, chapter 6

Temperance_V: So this is a special blog post featuring a guest blogger, which I've never done before but it seemed like a pretty fun idea since *basically* we talk more than enough to do this without going out of our way anyway. So, this week the blog is in the form of this chat log between me and Paleanghostly, who's mostly active over in the 'ghostlanx' fandom.

Paleandghostly: You have to put the scare quotes around it to remind people that I basically devote my days to looking at pictures of superheroes like a fourteen year old, of course. TV: I think most of your gang spend more time staring at their butts than most fourteen year olds do, P&G. P&G: You might be surprised. I remember being fourteen. TV: Anyway, we met a while ago now when P&G commented on my blog to insult my taste in whiskey and was somehow sort of charming about how stupid I am, and we ended up chatting. Now we play chess over the mail. P&G: Actually over the mail, on actual paper. It's a thing. TV: I genuinely look forward to the letter sneering at my last move once a week. So we're here to discuss something we've already been talking about anyway but it's been a *particularly* interesting chat, so we thought we'd share some thoughts with the wider internet. So this discussion got kicked off by the fandom reaction to this photograph of the Ghost and Phalanx from I think three weeks ago now? P&G: They'll remember the fandom reaction. It's the kind of wank that's so much bigger than the incident that caused it ever could be. TV: I'm not actually in the 'ghostlanx' fandom, btw, I should put that disclaimer out for anyone who's reading this *from* that fandom. If I seem like a n00b, forgive me. P&G: Please god stop putting it in scare quotes. Temperance usually blogs about anything interesting in the media and reactions to the media, for those who have followed *me* from phandom, and it was during one of her posts on Mad Men that I found it necessary to educate her in what we drink and what we use to clean toilets with. And it's *whisky*, please tell me you are actually drinking the stuff that is worth drinking and is not overpriced rebottled mouthwash by now. TV: Moving on. The photograph is a candid caught behind a police van, and shows the Ghost and Phalanx in conversation with a police officer - in suit and tie, so I'm guessing a detective but he looks a little young for it. No-one appears to be trying to arrest anyone. You'd think that would be have been the main point of discussion, P&G? P&G: *snort* Have you *met* fandom? Get to the interesting substance of the issue? No! We want exactly what we want and we want it exactly when we want it, anything deviating from this is a cause of deep personal offence to me and the *entire internet must stop and feel my pain!!* TV: So, it wasn't the crime scene they *weren't* arrested at that most people were talking about (though presumably, the 'enemy' you actually face on the streets you have more in common with than you do your own boss in their high rise office; if I was police I think I'd think we had bigger problems than superheroes too). P&G brought the discussion to my attention via the medium of much swearing, because she has a lot of feelings about these things. P&G: Oh please do make me sound like one of them. The reason I drew Temperance's attention to the response was - well, threefold. One is that in terms of gender politics and misogyny and homophobia amongst those who claim to not be bigots it was *fascinating*. Slash depressing. Two is that it was an eyebrow-straining example of the fandom entitlement complex. Three is that it gives us a very interesting insight into their identity and how very un-black-and-white that is - because people are more complicated than their labels, always. TV: Let's deal with gender first, though these issues do run through each other. This all came about because of the Ghost's posture in the photograph. He's standing quite close to Phalanx, who's facing and speaking to the police officer - I'm sorry, is that police officer really tall or is he actually that short? It's kind of adorable. P&G: He's like the Swiss army knife of superheroes. Flexible crime fighter, folds into your pocket afterwards. TV: Phalanx is speaking, standing with his feet apart, hands apart, gesturing - something, to what he's saying. Possibly just emphasizing a word. No-one even mentioned how Phalanx was standing? P&G: No. Because the Ghost was innocently standing next to him. TV: The Ghost is standing with his left arm crossed over his chest - his cloak makes it a little hard to see, but he's probably supporting the opposite elbow with his hand, because his right hand is held up loosely at shoulder height, as if propped off a desk. And he's got his hip cocked, and his head tilted the other way, it's a great photograph actually, his posture's like a da Vinci composition. P&G: I knew I liked you for a reason. It is a great picture. It's just enormously aesthetically pleasing, Phalanx standing sort of open and easy, the Ghost a longer but narrower zig-zag of angles, eyes on him. Both the Ghost and the cop are looking at Phalanx; the Ghost's expression, as much as you can make it out under the hood and mask, looks attentive and relaxed. Like you would look at your lover, mid-sentence. What fandom chose to cry and cause wank over is, Jesus fucking Christ, the way he's standing. TV: It's not the most masculine posture in the world. P&G: Why the *fucking* hell should it be? TV: Let's go through this in bite-size chunks so it's not just a string of expletives again. Why, as succinctly as possible, did fandom start a flamewar over the Ghost standing like that? P&G: Because they, the idiot ignorant children, fetishize homosexuality in the most contorted and disturbing way possible. Because they're fine with him being gay - happy that he's gay, since they can use his name and form for all their little m/m fantasies on a whole different level of appropriation now. But how dare he, human being in his own life, how *dare* he not conform to strict gender stereotypes at the same time. He's perfectly well allowed to be gay, as long as he does it the 'right way'. God forbid he be any kind of queer that disturbs them, though. TV: There was a lot of negativity. P&G: They don't want to see a male hero stand in a 'feminine' pose. It demeans him. It makes him less heroic. TV: Because to be female is to be less, and to be a male imitating a female is possibly the worst thing it's possible to be. Some of the responses were genuinely unsettling, I read some of your replies to them. P&G: I might have been angry, but I do not disown a single word of what I said. Disgusting self-absorbed ignorant little shits deserved it. TV: But not everyone was so negative about it. P&G: No. Some of fandom is actually populated by feminists and not by people who think that they know what that word means but have never actually thought it through. And then some of fandom is populated by people who further fetishize his femininity in again the most contorted way possible. We kind of had perfect storm conditions for the wank after that. TV: You posted a short piece of meta about it at the time. P&G: I posted a rant, please don't dignify anything that happened during that shitstorm with a respectful title. I hammered out at my keyboard my undying rage that these people were treating him like a doll to dress up how they pleased, and then throwing tantrums when he failed to live up to what they'd dressed him up as in their heads, or subsuming him under the further homophobic, misogynist, *the opposite of accurate* image of him as a swooning 'heroine' in need of big strong Phalanx to 'rescue' him. TV: Little strong Phalanx. P&G: I sense some favoritism developing. TV: He's really cute now I've *looked* at him. Look, I'm not in this fandom, this is not my war to step into. But it *is* interesting. Because, obviously, there's a lot of misogyny involved in campophobia - even in the queer community, the feminine man is despised. P&G: Yes. A loud part of the queer community, weirdly, strives for heteronormativity. We focus on gay men and women as being 'normal', the way straight men and women are 'normal'. Possibly just because it makes us less threatening to straight people, or helps us deal with internalized homophobia, I don't know. But that 'normality' is a lie whether the person in question is gay or straight, these categories are weird, and troublesome, and some of them are actively steeped in hatred and lies. The only thing to do is let it go. 'Normal' has only ever been an illusion. It is all so much more complicated than that you would not *believe*. Let gender be whatever it will be, and stop trying to shame people into going about it the way you're comfortable with. People are who they are and they love who they love. No-one should ever have to sit in a labelled box that someone else nailed the lid down on. TV: Fandom's largely female and yet we still perpetuate the weird misogyny wrapped up in all of this. P&G: Fuck the patriarchy that lives in our own heads most of all. TV: And the weirdest part of it is, everyone knows who he is - he's a hero. There is so much photographic evidence of his extremebamfery that it was a struggle to narrow down which gifs to illustrate the point with. P&G: He haunted New York on his own for five years before Phalanx showed up. Criminals are terrified of him, there's enough documented evidence of that. He can take down a dozen guys all bigger than him and then stroll away when the cops arrive, the last man standing and still unarrested. He kicks so much ass and we've always admired that. He also just copes with what must be a frequently distressing and draining occupation - most of what he deals with on any individual night could be completely traumatic to many people. I admire his strength and bravery utterly. And somehow people cannot square that strength, bravery, and bamfery with the image of him standing with his hip cocked *like a girl*. TV: Because, really, the two just aren't connected. They literally have nothing to do with each other. It's not that either should make the other difficult, there is no logical inconsistency in his not being traditionally masculine and his simultaneously kicking lots of ass. P&G: No. It was never his testosterone-fuelled uber-manliness that kicked ass. It was him. Exactly as he is. He's the same person kicking ass as he is standing next to Phalanx, in what is to him an unconsciously comfortable position - it's only since Phalanx came along that he's started relaxing like that, btw, *that* is clearly what's comfortable to him, not that wary cloak-covered hunch he always wore before. And it says so much more about fandom, about *people*, than it does about *him* that people somehow cannot make the image of the butt-kicking man who stands 'like a woman' sit right. TV: Because - what, heroism is manly? Girls don't kick ass *like that*? Because like you said, there are those who emphasize and fetishize his femininity, and in so doing they often fail to capture the bamfy aspect of him. P&G: What this links in to is the fandom entitlement complex. TV: Go ahead, I can feel your need to preach. P&G: I have a rant brewing, if that's what you mean. The fandom entitlement complex links into fandom sexism in a really strange and powerful way. Because fandom feels like it *owns* its figures of fetishization; they are what they are because we made them that. There is an enormous sense of ownership, like they're just the scaffolding, *we* construct who they are. And of course, they can't live up to that. They're real people, not our dolls. And when they fail to live up to our particular construction we either ignore the facts and go on as before or else we get *really fucking angry*. How *dare* they be actual human beings. They're supposed to be *my doll*, not any real person. Especially not any complicated real person! They should be as simple as possible because I can't conceptualize more than three personality traits in my head at any one time, I am *actually* that dumb! TV: Ahem. Plus we live in a patriarchal society and we construct our dolls along the strict and misogynist gender lines given to us, which oversimplifies them in very dangerous ways. P&G: That's what worries me about many of the people who make the Ghost out to be 'girly' - they're often people who obviously really *identify* with the Ghost, and they still make him out to be weak. So what does that say about the psychology of some women in this world, that society taught us to hate ourselves so *effectively* that we even want our *heroes* to just be rescued, that when we use him as a stand-in for ourselves in *fiction* we still *make him weak*? Because the fic and meta where the Ghost is effeminate *and* is the still the strong, life-saving hero - well, I've rarely found it under the sheer mass of 'basically all the Ghost really wants is for Phalanx to *save* him' fic. TV: I mean, ouch, but yeah. It explains the bizarre popularity of misogynist romance fiction written for women by women, after all. P&G: Mm. So we construct our dolls as manly male heroes, and then throw a shitfit when the queer man actually turns out to be *too* queer. Or we construct them as weak and flimsy *caricatured* women with dicks, who angst and cry and need a more masculine partner to 'rescue' them. The entitlement complex is so strong that we either write over them with our own images - rewrite the Ghost entirely, forget that he kicks ass, forget his *strength*, because a 'girly' man could never be strong because *girls aren't strong* - or we rage and scream about all our butthurt that the hero turned out to not be a cardboard cut out MAN. The part where he's a hero - do I actually need to remind people that he stopped New York being blown up? (with Phalanx; they are partners, after all) - who is both 'feminine' and 'masculine', because we all are, because those labels fix to characteristics and not to people, *that* part gets forgotten. We want them to be what *we want them to be*. We forget that they're not obliged to be a damn thing for anyone except themselves. And often people in writing their definitions of other people do want to wipe queerness out. They want us to go back to that gender dichotomy. They either want him to be a 'man' (caricatured) or to be basically a 'woman' (caricatured) in male form, but they can't *stand* that he's actually just a human being, and human beings are difficult. TV: No middle ground? P&G: Are you shitting me? This is fandom. TV: So tell us how to fix this, great wise Ghostly. P&G: I appreciate your sarcasm so, so dearly. There is middle ground, I was being facetious. There was a small, feminist, pro-queer faction fighting this corner as loudly and rationally as they could. And Blackbindings - one of the fanficcers in the ghostlanx fandom - wrote a piece after that photograph was published called Graduation, which tried to actually ignore the wank and deal with what the photograph *did* teach us about the relationship between the Ghost and Phalanx. Because all that wank is nothing like the most interesting part of that photograph. In this fandom, *everyone* should have responded to that photograph how Blackbindings did, but unfortunately she's the only one with the brains to see what's actually important. TV: I haven't read the fic. P&G: It's a meditation - all of her fics are strolls around a subject, giving you new angles and a wider perspective to actually *see* something from, I swear she makes me realize I have my eyes *closed* half the time. It's a meditation on the balance of 'power' in their relationship. What power means, and doesn't mean, and how it doesn't have to dominate, those who have power can *share* it. We think of it like it's a limited resource but why can't everyone be powerful, if it's the right kind of power? It's about their teacher/student relationship. TV: You're going to have to explain that for those of us who aren't in the fandom. P&G: Tell me what you think it might mean from looking at that photograph. TV: I don't know. The Ghost is standing slightly behind Phalanx's shoulder, relative to that cop. It could just be that the way Phalanx is gesturing has knocked their shoulders out of alignment. It could be that Phalanx has *put* himself between them. It could be that the *Ghost* put Phalanx between them. It could be that Phalanx is taking the lead and the Ghost is happy with that. It could be that the Ghost is watching over him . . . P&G: Yes. It could be all of those things. And not one of us mentioned it because we were just too fucking busy screaming about the Ghost standing like a girl. The Ghost was there first, and it's pretty long been assumed by many that they had a teacher/apprentice role - the classic superhero/sidekick relationship. But it becomes obvious in that photograph - and when you look back, there's a lot of other pictorial evidence for it - that it's really not that simple, and maybe it never has been. TV: You know I love it when you elaborate. P&G: I'm sexy when I'm verbal. When you look back through gifs and photosets, whenever they're dealing with crime victims, the Ghost tends to be in front. His attention is all on the victim and Phalanx is looking at *him*. When they're dealing with criminals they're usually side by side and their attention is focused on the threat. But whenever they're dealing with anybody else - cops, reporters, fans, bystanders - usually Phalanx is the one in front and talking, and usually, the Ghost isn't looking at who they're dealing with, his gaze and his posture are orientated towards *Phalanx*. The Ghost often isn't even fully visible in those situations. Look at that photograph again; Phalanx is standing very at ease and in control of the situation, very relaxed being the one talking, and the Ghost is looking at *him*. This is not a hero/sidekick relationship. They have strengths and weaknesses and they complement each other. They actually are, in every sense of the word, partners. TV: That's quite sweet actually. P&G: If you're contemplating joining the fandom I advise you not to, it's populated mostly by cretins and children. Blackbindings is special. Very special, actually. She does cryptic crosswords for *shiggles*, I don't know if you've ever looked at one but they are torture for the mind. But it affects her brain in interesting ways. She called it 'Graduation', because partly the fic is about how they educate each other, empower each other (of course education is empowering: in her fic, knowledge elevates). But the fic is also very steeped in color terms. It gives it a really physical, sensual, *there* atmosphere, almost close enough to touch, and it was only when I remembered her twisty-turny cryptic little brain that I realised that 'graduation' is only a letter away from 'gradation'. It's the sort of thing she'd notice and play on, cunning little creature that she is. The way hues run into each other. There is no dividing line. The labels are a lie. Strictly, once you realize how difficult drawing a line between colors is, there aren't any *colors*; there's just *color*, and we fumble through labelling instances of it as best we can, pretending that the labels create real categories. They, the Ghost and Phalanx, are so much more complicated than anything we can paint them. Their identities are human identities and the labels are a *lie*. It's not that the labels aren't labelling something real but that they're only labelling *parts* of people when they are *wholes*. They are complex. They live in a world of gradations. They're not superhero/sidekick except for when they are, but who is which is a very blurry thing. Isn't it for all of us? TV: I can't tell if you're a fan of ghostlanx or of Blackbindings right now. P&G: Probably both. Sometimes I just contemplate that her mind exists and give a satisfied sigh that the world *must* be a reasonable place after all . . . TV: We should probably get back to the wank we were discussing. Did you have any closing thoughts on the subject? P&G: Just that being a fan is a very peculiar thing. We never know the person that we 'love' so much, though I do think that that love is often very sincere and fierce-felt, but we only actually know the doll we made of them in our own heads - with masked heroes the problem intensifies. And what we should do is be relaxed, and accept that people are always more complicated than we think they are - this has wider implications than fandom alone - and discuss these things in a way such that we can *learn* from it. Because learning, and the openness to strange new things that learning requires, empowers. The close-mindedness that treats people as characters to be owned by us, that demands simplicity where simplicity is an act of psychological aggression, that sense that we're entitled to special access to their identities almost more than they themselves are - all those things harm both them and *us* in thinking like that. And if people could not be dicks about gender norms that would also be really cool. TV: Indeed. The sheer scale of the meltdown is something to be appreciated, I dabbled in to take a look and - whoa, basically. P&G: It's a big fandom, when we make wank we make a *masterpiece* of wank. Still, most people did stay out of it. The sensible majority who just duck their heads and reblog gifs whenever the shit starts flying. TV: And do you have this week's move ready yet? P&G: It's in the mail, and you really should have seen it coming. TV: We'll see. So next week I'll probably be discussing US remakes of other countries' movies and TV shows, unless something more interesting happens in the meantime. P&G: Oh god, don't even get me started on that bullshit. TV: And it looks like you'll probably see Paleandghostly in the comments section next week too, ahem. Thank you for your contribution this week, P&G, couldn't have done it without you. P&G: You're more than welcome. I hope it was educational, at least insofar as discouraging people from irritating me quite so much. TV: See you guys next week, signing off!

#lb 2017 #this was so good #paleandghostly #atog grey