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kyovtani · 3 years

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ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset!

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!!

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!!

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it!

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it!

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side 😌

#💌.zade's mass response

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redscullyrevival · 6 years

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DISCO TALKS

I have lots of feelings this week and I’ve waited a little to try and approach them - but I’m still a big old mess.

Dis long.

So much is happening all the time in this show and I never get around to covering everything I’m thinking and feeling and this will be no different a post.

But what I’m most connecting to at the moment is definitely Ash Tyler as a character and Michael Burnham as a character and actually - it’s everything. I’m connected to everything. I’m wired the fuck in.

But I can’t possibly talk about everything. So lets see what I get around to.

Deep breath

I’m not troubled, exactly, about seeing large chunks of the this show’s audience out right calling for Ash Tyler’s demise.

I expected that - and I’ll get around to that.

Personally I happen to think Ash Tyler’s first PTSD (ish) storyline was a bit sloppy as it was wrapped up in a wacky sci-fi plot which obscured/blurred direct real world correlation with living with PTSD.

But I do think the Voq-and-Ash-consciousness-braino-tango can act as perfectly acceptable, albeit a slightly oblique, metaphor for the most demonizing of mental illnesses.

The show has expressed that the Ash Tyler that killed Dr. Hugh Culber is not considered by the doctors and scientists on board the Discovery as being the Ash Tyler now free to roam the ship.

They’re letting him roam the ship y’all.

That’s simple exposition for: “These Characters Are Being Written to Choose to Understand Ash Tyler as Having Not Consciously Committed Murder”.

We the audience are assumed to follow suit.

And yet…

The calls for pitchforks and all the blunt outright dismissal of Ash Tyler I’ve seen in the past few days reads to me like someone who experienced a deeply traumatic and violent psychotic break or episode and is being punished for it.

Which isn’t exactly fair of me, I know.

There is a responsibility with mental illness and PTSD, there absolutely is. It is up to the individual to do the work they need to do to keep themselves and others safe.

Ash did not do that.

He was written to handle his entire situation very, very poorly.

Ash/Voq tried to kill Michael.

That is what was written and is what transpired between those two characters, intentionally.

But Ash has also been written to get the chance to put in the work to learn, and get better, and to do better.

And I’m not mad at that story.

I don’t think I’ll ever be talked into being mad about it either.

Like, this episode was titled “The War Without, The War Within”.

The violent and entirely least relatable of mental illnesses, those that frighten and consume it’s sufferers, have drastic social complications attached to them and thus there are drastic social complications attached to those that are known to experience them.

There is an interesting (and kinda horrible) mimicry of common social stigma regarding violent psychotic behavior at play in Discovery’s viewership and their reading of Ash Tyler.

I don’t think I’m so far out there in my opinion that Ash’s first arc has actually been about the personally incomprehensible nature of experiencing and handling a budding psychotic disorder (within intensely weird and franchise-specific sci-fi wrappings, of course).

I think, I hope, Ash’s second arc will be about learning to live with who he is in his entirety; that he seeks help for himself and comes to understand what he experienced and how to prepare for living with himself, for himself.

And Michael is dead on: That will always be hard, solitary, work.

I’m also of the opinion Michael has every right to be honest with Ash and do what’s right, and best, for herself.

Shocking, it seems, to hold sympathy and understanding for both of these characters.

Michael is honest but firm and in turn openly offended by Ash, but we see within Michael’s goodbye that she saw the truth in Tilly’s words; how Ash is treated now within his early stages of changed self-understanding will most likely determine what kind of person he ends up being.

Michael knows she is not responsible for Ash, but at the same time humanity cannot be irresponsible within our treatment of each other.

Would Michael yelling and being angry have been justified? Absolutely.

Would such a display of disdain and fear have marked Ash to wander down an at-risk path? Whose to say.

Because that isn’t the scene we were shown.

Micheal is doing the right thing by her to let Ash go and she is doing the right thing by explaining her choice to him.

Again, does she owe Ash an explanation? No.

But she was written to give him one all the same.

I felt that the raw, emotional, and interpersonal context driven conversation between Ash Tyler and Michael Burnham is exactly the kind of Star Trek story I wanted to experience within the adapted serialized format.

This series isn’t wrapping up plot denouement with captain’s logs so the “start” and “stop” of storylines will by nature of the serialized format be a lot more blurry.

We as an audience have to do a lot more work to find themes and to puzzle them together within this particular show in this franchise - but Discovery is certainly trying it’s best to mirror (L O L) events and situations, even down to particular scenes.

We have Michael going to Ash to gain official verbal closure between them because that is the healthier and more responsible story telling choice leading up to that cherished 60s space utopia. I say this every week but this show is about “discovering” how people can be better people. That is it’s long term jam.

UGH I have so much more to saaaaaay about how the show is using Ash and related fuck all but I have GOT to move on, we gotta get to my train wreck Sarek!

Crap Dad is trying his best today. He has even, finally, perhaps, seemed to have given one of his children good advice.

Now, I know Sarek saying not to regret having loved and brigin’ up lovin’ enemies will read to some as him being pro-Ash and like pressuring Michael to rethink dumping him but like sorry, that’s wack, that isn’t what’s happening in this exchange.

Not that I’m saying my interpretation is law but I’m pretty damn sure it ain’t the above either.

Anyways

The first part of Sarek’s Dad Talk is the thorn in some boots; “For what greater source of peace exists than our ability to love our enemy?”

What’s daddy’s angle here?

Why is this nerdo sayin’ this?

Loving your enemy is the kind of thing folks say, and hear, without thinking about it a lot of the time. There is something about the phrase that invokes simultaneous disdain and awe.

But generically speaking an enemy is someone or some group who opposes you or your group’s convictions. Enemies are opponents.

Was Ash ever Michael’s enemy?

Ash attacked Michael during his episode of consciousness-collapse with the intent to kill her - but did Michael then, and does Michael now, think of Ash as her enemy?

Michael doesn’t hesitate in response, she says she has made “foolish choices, emotional choices.” (ie. emotional choices are foolish, I’ve been a big dumb dumb, please reprimand me Vulcan Dad)

What Sarek does in his farewell with Michael is the most supremely Vulcan thing he could have done, but probably not at all in the way Michael expected.

When Michael says she has made foolish and emotional choices Sarek tells her “Well, you are human” which, usually, is the sickest of Vulcan burns.

But!

BUT!

Sarek then places his hand on Michael’s shoulder (wtffff) and tells her “As is your mother” - which is, by his standards, an extremely flashy omission that he consider’s himself Michael’s father and not simply her steward.

Oh boy, remember when Michael flung “father” at him like a weapon for saying they’re not technically related, so logically they’re not father and daughter - do you remember that?!

Well, now Sarek (the disaster that he is) is using logic to label their relationship without having to outright say it.

Honestly, his phrasing here might be the best proof that we’ve ever been given showing that Sarek may actually be the great statesman and representative the franchise has been hyping him up to be for generations.

Michael is in fuckin’ shock here btw, she’s stunned.

The icing on the cake is that Sarek, following up the proclamation that Michael and her mother are both human, goes on to say “There is no telling what any one of us may do where the heart is concerned.”

Now, admittedly, this may be a stretch but it’s uncharacteristic for a Vulcan to lump themselves in with “any one of us” without differentiating the “us”.

Especially when regarding icky emotions.

It sounds like Sarek is lumping himself in with his human wife and daughter as being apart of the “us”, of being/acting human. Of making foolish and emotional choices.

At this point Michael’s eyes have unfocused and I’m fuckin’ crying.

AND THEN Sarek’s tells Michael to not regret loving someone.

Nerds know we can apply this to Sarek’s love for Amanda, the long suffering humans lady dealing with this man’s many child projects™.

But it is also applicable to these two and their interpersonal situation.

By telling Michael not to regret loving someone Sarek is once again affirming something concerning their relationship without having to say it outright: “I do not regret loving you” and/or “I love you.”

AND THEN ALSO Sarek’s statement suggests that Michael’s foolish and emotional choices are not worthy of regret; that emotional choices are not inherently foolish.

And I think “foolish” is the key insight into Michael’s feelings here.

I think Michael feels like a fool about Tyler; about the Binary Stars; about Lorca; about her choice to bring Mirror!Georgiou; Michael feels foolish and maybe even shame for investing in and loving people who have let her down, who she has let down, who used her, and who she knows isn’t who she wants them to be but can’t help but feel moved all the same.

It’s a wider statement as well: Don’t regret love. Don’t regret trying to understand and connect to people. Don’t regret not knowing what you couldn’t have known. Don’t regret being optimistic and in believing people up front.

I can go on, we can all add to this list on what this simple phrase could translate to within the story of Michael and the Discovery so far, out into what we know and want from Star Trek, and then even within our own lives.

Haha, media is wild!

God this is so long.

I’m so sorry.

#Star Trek #Discovery #fandom talks #ignore me

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inthewordsofahalfgoddes · 7 years

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!!!!!!!!! i’m! so! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ugh how tf does he do this!! im supposed to be stronger than this ;-; i just....let him have his way and im so mad at myself >:( im supposed to be sooo independant sooo flighty and hard to pin down but HEREthis FUCKING gemini virgo ass MAN comes and fucks me up like WTFFFFFF I was doing so well too I suprised myself. all week ahs literally beena battle of temptation versus control and sooo many times i wanted to just cave in and watch some porn ad come. there was this little voice in my ehad that as like ‘oh you know you could just...you know...’ and i wanted to listen but a strnger voice was like ‘no be good >:(’ and i had to like contain th urge of wanting to cum and after like a minute of struggling i was able to do it ( go me :’) ) but why did he have to do this to me. WHY AM I LIKE THIS????????? the tension almost killed me alone when daddy started talking about having his bad side take itself out on me and how it actually turns me on and the feminis/social decorm part of me was like so offended like how dare you even think i like that!! but the other side of me was woken riht up and he kept talking and talking and i kept getting wetter and wetter and iw a slike oh shit i do like this T_T too fucking much i wanted to cum as soon as i realized i had been lying to myself about feeling bad hwne he gets all shitty and negative trolly but its like it hurts but in a good way.the extrme of mean and nice is like ughhmy body like yassss but my mind like ???? body pls T_T we shouldnt like this. but i do :/ im at such odds with it. and he pisses me so off i hate how good he is at this im so mad ughhhhhhhhh why tf can he play me so well i hate how well he knwos me this is exatcely why i dont like letting peope in cause they can just use my weaknesses against me. how can i be mad at him if i like it?????? wtf is wrong with me???? even me being mad is like turning me on like me wanting to go off on him and fight him is laced with so much sexual tension like idk if i wanna suck his dick or knock him out. if i could so both i think id be most satisfied tbh im so mad idk like i realized im fucking with something i actually cant win against and its EATING ME INSIDE CAUSE I BEEN UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT NO ONE COULD DO THIS TO ME THAT I WAS IN CONTROL AND HERE COMES THIS ASSHOLE WHO JUST FUCKING UGHHHHHHHH im suppsoed to be working on trust issues but i feel so fucking vulnerable like im ina lot of trouble if i let this go on and i want to protect myself from ever being that fucked up but i like it what am i supposed to do? I fight it and push him away that side of me suffers and she’ll get out of hand and im fucked. i give in and all sense of independance and strnegth i have is immediatey chaleneged by him im literally fucked either way like wtf do i do? but he makes it feel so good like a whole week??? after all of that??? i feel like i could cum for days and never stop literally feels like a floodgate was opened and im literally struggling right now to hold it back because i wanna be a good girl like wtffff ceci T_T why do i want to listen so bad? why do i want to please him so bad? my astrology never warned me about this. :/ well it kinda did fucking scoprio ass energy fuck and i cant even bullshit eitehr cause he just knows and will pull my card every FUCKING time like can a girl lie to herself sometiemes dam. he owns me and i hate it. its fucking me up how am i so willing to let someone playme like this? i can’t fight it. i just an’t. im like addicted and im so pressed about it. like i try to fght it and convicne myself ‘oh hey lets keep it platonic :) let’s not go there (@mypussy)’ but he coud literally just say ‘baby...’ and im done like what the hell. am i really that weak? im supposed to trust him and im trying but damn this is getting hard. my danger senses are like tingling like he like a patient hunter trying to convince me to trust him and im like okay :)!!!!! but!!!!! just know!!!! im !!! trusting you!!!!!! im a masochist!!!! I love people wit power and he got so much like fuckk mmm all that control my pussy been like looking for someone like him and she dont wanna pass up the opprotunity to expereince his control but??? like??? hi??? she so dumb sometimes ugh fuck i got so many emotions in me right now i wanna do 20 things at once and i still want to cum :’) but i gotta wait a whole week and fuck this is gonna be worse tha the nest week idk man wtf is going on im so mad at myself and at DADDY fuck even saying that is fukcing me up i want him to just push my head down and fuck me so fucking hardd til i cum all over his dick like i need him to be his damn annoying ass self and fuck me up again and im amd i need that >:( HAVE SOME FUCKING CONTROL @MY PUSSY DUMB ASS BITCH what happened to or plans ;-; what tf happeend to them???? pls T_T lets not ruin our lives for this fuck im so worried how does someone have so much control over someone?? is this normal?? hes never unleashed it this much and honestly im shookkkk but i refuse to pussy out cause fuck him and his dumb ass stupid gemini mind tricks i hate being manipulated and he dos it so smooth it pisses me off. now i understand the scorpio shit fuck. this like playing with fire but i dont wanna lose >:( idc how many times hes fucked me up I DONT CARE i wanna win >:( i hate losing i hate giving away my power this is why men are dangerous for witches!!!!! and he ashnt een FUCKED ME LIKE WTFFF THIS HOW U END UP BEING A SLAVE TO SOMEONE BUT WHY TF DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD TO ME UGH BITCH WTF no >:( i can do this there is a way to win i know it im so mad fuck ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant even deny that hes so good like i cant. i hate how he reads me so well and keeps himself so tucked away he’s my enemy now >:( (just kidding i love him) but still >:( dsaedtyrthdasfdbhtyhrrdsg FUCK YOU DADDY JUST KIDDING YOURE THE BEST >:(

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markyishanthonymartinez · 7 years

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4/17/17

i rushed home to hopefully do this before you check.

today was alright i guess.

no. no no no.

today was great. like sometimes i think about my days and I'm like, “eh yeah it was pretty normal, decent day, whatevs,” but like that’s so dumb. like most days are so great. today was average, but there’s so many great awesome wonderful things that happen every day that i dont think about or appreciate cause i’ve become desensitized to them as being good things and that’s no bueno.

okay gonna talk about even the lil tings.

i woke up a bit late if i’m being honest, but that’s okay. i sprung straight out of bed and made a quick breakfast (quietly of course, cause logan was slep). ate, got dressed. okay tbh i looked cute af today. i wore one of my fav shirts, which is my pink state champs shirt and like i just really think soft colors really work well with me cause they kinda play well with how dark and defined my hair and facial features are and stuff (honestly that’s probably why like 60% of my closet is white shirts). but yeah and not to mention that pink is kinda polarizing and makes people double take and idk fam, i paired that with my favorite khakis (cuffed up once of course), my normal black vans that i’ve probably worn for like 100000 days straight, and my black bomber jacket that i wear sempiternally. idk i thought the fit was fly af and i felt dank and looking good=feeling good and feeling good is always worth noting.

went to class. instrumentation is half pointless at this point, cause like we already had our last midterm and the final isn't a written final, the only final for the class is a lab practical. and we’ve learned all the things that the practical could be on. so like in a very loose use of the word, class is kinda pointless the rest of the way. obviously there’s homework and learning and stuff so it’s not completely pointless, but having that in the back of my head just makes it a bit difficult to give my undivided attention in class. even poles was doing other stuff and he’s alwayyyyyyys the attention-payer. bags and jeff are always on their phones and I'm kinda in the middle 4ever. wait also, we got our test scores posted online like a week ago, but he hasn't even mentioned passing the test back to us and like, “fam... if the tests are graded and the scores are entered into canvas then why can't i have it?????????? @ ME”

after class, as we do every monday, wednesday, friday, we went to the ecc and put in two hours of homework time. i almost finished the mech design due thursday and that’s good cause i need to turn my attention to the heat transfer test on thursday as soon as i can. OH DANG ALSO i finally listened to the new kendrick record. that probably sounds ridiculous considering how hyped i was for kendrick last night and i hadn't even listened to his record, but lemme essssplain. i, mark anthony martinez, love love love listening to records in full and will hold off listening to singular songs until i find the time to run through a record. i just love following the story and letting it all hit me in one fell swoop. but yeah DAMN. is DAMN. absolutely wonderful. kendrick has really outdone himself, and that’s saying something considering his last two releases have been instant classics. i just identify so much with the record and i can't say enough great things. but yeah gr8 times, did hella homework and listened to gr9 record, happy merk.

then we all walk together to systems. okay this one asshole has been kinda trying to take our seats for the past two weeks and i’m gonna kick his teeth in next time he does it.... okay not really i’ve never been in a fight. but forreal, WE’VE SAT THERE ALL SEMESTER, 1-2-3-4-5. JT ON THE END, THEN ME, THEN POLESIES, FOLLOWED BY JEFF, AND FINALLY BAGS. EVERYONE ELSE RESPECTS SEATS. WHY CANT YOU, YOU DISRESPECTFUL UNGRATEFUL TURD BASKET. no, but really, fam has sat in the row behind us allllll semester and like just last week he decided to try us? nahhhhh, aint gonna fly.

anyways, jt didn't get a seat with us because of that, and like he just walks up and loudly proclaims, “DAMN MAN, WHY DO PEOPLE GOTTA FUCK UP THE STATUS QUO?” same jt, same.

systems was dope. it’s probably my most fun class considering how dynamic and interesting and just all things it is. v hard, but i love to dip my mind into the material.

wow okay i just peeked at the clock and whoops.

ummm okay then i came home with poles and bags and logan was on the couch watching the arsenal game on his phone cause i guess the nbc sports xbox app wasn't working. so i came to the rescue and put the game on my laptop and connected it to our projector, yay haps logan.

then we all hung out for a bit and did guy stuff.

talk shit about each other and talk about memes and make fun of bags for breaking poles’ garbage disposal

arsenal won, logan was haps, i wasn't lol.

then poles left to go try to fix his garbage disposal lol. and logan bags and i kinda just hung out and continued the previous activities and yeah. bags left for work and logan left for the airport and i did homework while listening to más kendrick.

then i had a game tonight. tyler didn't show up... which is weird cause like he’s the one that organized this and like is one of our better players and prettttty sure he took and nap and just slept through everything lol. but anyways, we played tke. FUCK TKE. (in case bags reads dis). but yeah uh they weren’t very good. like they weren't garb, and had a few solid players, but in the grand scheme of things they did a lot of nothing lol. we had soooooo many chances that we didn't put away. we got the first goal through nathan early on. then they tied it up and kinda celebrated all over the place, which sorta kinda maybe pissed me off. so, naturally, i scored a beautiful little heel flick that drew cheers form the tke crowd lol. and then nathan set me up beautifully for a second that i got really clean connected on and drilled passed the keeper from outside the box. it ended like that 3-1. oh oh oh also one of the refs was a rad friend that lived on my floor in the dorms that i hadn't seen in 15k years so that was nice to see her. oh wait at the end, okay hold on, why am i always a dickhead? like the the crowd kinda got on my nerves a few times cause they were just being overly rambunctious. so what does lil ole mark decide to do? i go into sarcastic mark mode, but not verbally (well okay a lil verbally), mainly physically. like one time they kicked the ball out and said they were all like WTFFFF FAM THAT WENT OUT OFF HIS BACK. and like it defs didn't and the refs knew it didn't and i’m kinda just chuckling and then one of them is like, “see, he’s laughing, he knows it went off his back” so of course, what do i do. i literally point at my back and just lay down in the middle of the court. then there were other things here or there, but yeah i was nice most of the time.

came home, eating pizza, gonna shower and slep now.

april seventeenth is a beautiful day.

happy birthday lil ms orange

ilylots

hope you did fun things//and even if you’re old and grody, stay beautiful

- mark anthony martinez

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