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#ignore me

Me, and my overheating problems: want to sleep with a tiny crack in the window to let the bit of breeze in

Also me, a criminology major: that’s a big fat no from me

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I’m thinking of shifting this blog’s focus briefly to Fruits Basket Analysis for the time being. Simply because it got its much deserved reboot. And the fandom has been revived. Anything I see, analysis wise that warrants sharing within the fandom will start to be posted here. You’ve been warned. Right now I’m undecided about whether I should write original posts here. Or simply reblog from my personal blog. We’ll see. But I will say this:

As the Ike from Super Smash Bros Brawl likes to taunt,

Prepare yourself

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I literally don’t want to exist anymore. I’m so tired of being the bad guy. I don’t think I actually like any of my family members anymore. My job makes me anxious and gives me chest pains, there’s nothing else I can find a job for even with two damned worthless degrees unless I get more certifications or just start over, I’m not willing to back to school for something else considering, yeah, two useless degrees, my dad, who I’m stuck living with right now because there was some seriously shady shit happening at my last job, is a “follow the party line” republican who claims to listen to me but just repeats the same shit over and over (the post office apparently needs to be shut down, took over 10 min for him to admit he was just pissed about junk mail the ass), and im WAY too much of a burden on my poor husband. I’m talking “I’ve DEFINITELY given him gray hairs” level of burden. I’m talking “I can’t sleep so I wake him up” and then “I’m not tired stay up with me”. I’m talking about how last year on my birthday he found me sobbing on the ground crying cause I wanted to bite off my own tongue and I wasn’t sure I wouldnt.

I’m just very tired. So so tired. I’m tired of existing. Im tired of being the bad guy. I’m tired of not wanting to exist. I’m tired of feeling I’m just a burden on the only person I really want to exist for. I’m so tired.

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just show me i’m enough. it doesn’t have to be much. a text throughout the day that youre thinking of me, a meme that made you laugh, your dinner plate or your dog being goofy. you used to do this stuff. i used to wake up to good morning texts from you. now, i’m not even sure. i haven’t heard from you in days. i just need to know i’m enough for you. or i need to let you find someone who is.

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>:( Still mad about the time I was at a birthday party at an unfamiliar arcade, and just offhandedly I mentioned I’d have hosted it at a different place. The person I was talking to immediately cut me off like “it’s [X]’s birthday, they got to choose,” and I totally didn’t mean to be rude or offensive and tried to say I was just making conversation, but I couldn’t get past “I was j–” without them purposefully cutting me off.

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i always get nervous when asking players to like tweak things in their bios bc jksgahjr i get scared that they might think i’m like… not a fan of their bio when agherkjg I LOVE THEIR BIOS i’m just fdagjker a stickler for TINY, MINISCULE LORE THINGS

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Day 19

May 29 (4:30 am )

Good morning,

कहते है की अच्छी सुबह हो तो दिन अच्छा होता है, लेकिन ये भी सच है की अगर दिन आखिरी मै अच्छा ना बीते तो रात खराब हो जाती है और जब रात खराब होती है तो सुबह कहा से अच्छी होगी |

2 दिनो से मै अपने दोस्तों के बारे मै सोच रही थी की कौन किस सिचुएशन मे कैसे कैसे रियेक्ट करता है, पता लगा की सब दोस्त एक जैसे नहीं होते,

सब दोस्त एक जैसा नहीं सोचते,

सब दोस्त एक जैसे नहीं बोलते,

सब दोस्त एक जैसे नहीं होते…. ||

क्युकि, सिर्फ दोस्त ही होते है जो लोगो के बिच आपकी पहचान बताते है अगर दोस्त अच्छा हो तोह आपसे अच्छा कोई नहीं, लेकिन अगर आपके दोस्ती बुरी बुरे लोगो के साथ है तो आपसे बुरा भी कोई नहीं कहलाता |

मेरे साथ भी एक ऐसा ही वाक्य हुआ मेरा भी एक दोस्त था सबसे ज्यादा विश्वास सबसे ज्यादा प्यार उसको करती थी घर मे सब उसको घर का सदस्य मानने लगे थे फिर कुछ वाक्य ऐसे हुए की पूरा इंसान ही बदल गया मानो, उसकी सोच, दिमाग़, मन का भाव सब कुछ |

तोह मै यही कहुगी की मित्र हमेशा सोच -समझ कर बनाइयेगा, क्युकि दोस्त ही मुसीबतों मे सहारा बन सकता है और दुश्मन भी |

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