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#ignore me
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Dyed my hair purple again. Big shout outs to Alyssa for help and the boy for letting my steal his hair dye (again)

[ID: two pictures of Mimsy, an enby with purple hair, with Snapchat filters putting butterflies and daises on their cheeks.]

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I’m so done. My mom has to do 20 weeks of chemo after healing from her mastectomy. And she basically told me that I won’t be allowed out of the house while she’s doing it except to feed the horses. I don’t know how I’m going to finish my hours for graduation. I don’t know how I’ll survive not seeing any of my friends for 6 months and probably longer because COVID-19 will come back in the Fall. I fucking hate my life right now. I hate that I have to take care of my mom, even though she’s been an emotionally abusive bitch my whole life. I was finally seeing the end, the light, with graduation and possibly making money to move out. And now that all got dashed for at least another year. I’m so tired. I don’t want to do this anymore. I have 0 empathy for my mom in all this. Honestly she could have a million other people take care of her through this, but no, she has to put LITERALLY everything on me. And then guilts me and tries to use reverse psychology on me to get me to stay when I start getting frustrated with what difficulties her cancer is causing in my life. Honestly I think she’s liking all the attention she’s getting from everyone along with her getting to be as unregulated and histrionic as she wants. I literally have to turn away and roll my eyes. I have no more empathy for her. I have no more compassion. She’s caused me too much pain throughout my life. She doesn’t get to take anything else from me. She has her surgery tomorrow morning…I hope it goes well, but there’s a tiny part of me that hopes it doesn’t. I’m an awful person for even thinking that. But honestly I’m so tired, I’m so angry, I’m so depressed about everything that’s going on. I don’t even know anymore.

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and in related news i was like, why the hell do i like nate so much??? like yes he’s supposed to be somewhat likeable but the main-main guy is never my favorite. you know, like how nobody’s favorite harry potter character is actually harry potter. 

Keep reading

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Writing without a solid outline makes me feel like I’m leading people who (for some reason) trust me through a forest. I have absolutely no idea where I’m goin except the forest has to end somewhere or we’re all gonna die trying to find a solid trail.

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okay…but HEAR ME OUT

the Taylor Swift “You Belong With Me” music video concept

but with Sobbe?

(or is that the worst?)

ALSO! WHOEVER MENTIONED THAT 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU/SOBBE AU I HAVE NOT STOPPED THINKING ABOUT IT AND NEED IT RIGHT THIS SECOND! PLZ!!!

Also. ALSO I still need this to be a sobbe fic

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When i was with you, i apologized for

My own blood on my fingertips

Smearing as we kissed, 

Blurring together like my memories


There was something in my veins

Fear, dripping with shame

A thousand times i thought

Maybe i was to blame


A thousand times you made me feel

Like maybe I was dirty,

Like maybe my hazy, clouded

Tear soaked recollections weren’t real


And when I walked away,

Sticky with tears and blood

Wondering why i was too weak to stay

I was dirty


And then the blood on my hands

The blood on my lips

Dirtied the next love i kissed

Turned my touch into weapons

Again

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Read some Tacitus on Vespasian for class tomorrow and there was a whole section where he just hated on the Jewish people and I want to time travel and say to him: sir, if you would like information about how and why a group of people practice religion a certain way, you should go ask one of them and not just make really mean and wrong claims about them

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