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#ignore me

(Please don’t reblog. Just wanted to ramble) And my final class of my first week is done! I am feeling positive about actually having work to do again though I am feeling anxious about having to write to certain standard again. That’s the thing that I haven’t enjoyed about a degree in writing. That writing now can give me anxiety. Writing used to be my escape but there are times now when I just don’t want to pick up my laptop because I have put such pressure on myself to get things right and to write well. I knew what I was getting myself in for, but I guess i had just never put pressure on myself with my writing before. And it has been hard to adjust to the idea that the thing that was my escape is now something I’m almost trying to escape from on days when I just can’t write. But my lecturer quoted someone the other day saying that the best way to improve and succeed is to lose the fear of failure. And this is something I’ve spoken about in therapy. This intense fear I have of failing. No one is putting pressure on me to do well other than myself. I don’t want to overload myself with the intense stress and anxiety I have previously when it comes to my writing. I’ve learnt over the last few months that all I can do is try my best. Try the best you can for the situation you’re in. And that’s what I’m going to do. I’m still learning. Perfect doesn’t exist. We’re all just learning and improving and yeah. I don’t really know where I was going with all of but I just want to be feel better about things and not put myself under the intense and unnecessary pressure and stress I have done in the past and rambling here is how I deal with things

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I forgot I paid for the rusty quill patreon for a month and could potentially listen to the episode already, on the other hand I know I want to immediately scour through the tag and scream with others so I guess I rather wait

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it truly is astounding how much people can change in the gap of a few years- in my early 20s i was completely convinced that i wanted to be a mom one day and worked my ass off with that singular goal in mind, but now that i’m older and wiser i am 300% positive that somebody as deeply fked up as myself is the last person that should be raising a child

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I’m low key freaking out rn.

I have four kinktober stories already finished and queued up… ONLY FOUR AND ITS ALREADY OCTOBER. I have the next four written but only halfway done and not edited at all, because I stop halfway through and start with the next day and never go back to finish the previous one… not to mention I have a fuck ton left to write. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Sorry for the breakdown, I’m going to sleep now and tomorrow… technically today the first story will be posted!!!

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I don’t think I will ever get over the fact that squirrel’s tails just fucking float

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it’s kinda ridiculous how quickly zoro went from “fuck you i’m not becoming a pirate” to “i have to become the world’s greatest swordsman because the future pirate king deserves no less”

and can you imagine everyone’s hanging out one day, right? and chopper or whoever asks luffy, “by the way, how long have you and zoro known each other?”

everyone’s expecting it to be something like they were childhood friends or whatever

but luffy just turns to nami and asks “nami, how long have we known each other?”

and nami’s confused, but says “about seven months”

so luffy turns back to chopper and is like “i’ve known zoro for seven months and three days”

and everyone’s just like “what the FUCK”

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every day i wake up and ask “are my xkit extensions finally working again?” and every day the answer is “no” and i die a little more inside. i just want to be able to stalk the tags for my au and headcanon posts, is that too much to ask? i want to know what people are saying about posts smh

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