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cryingbilldenbrough · 6 years

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I love your Hanbrough stuff!! Give me more heartwrenching Hanbrough feels!!

GOD okay so would u like to hear my hanbrough endgame and also how It would have ended if stephen king wasnt a pussy ass bitch?

firstly, bill fuckin breaks up with his wife

because he cheated on her and she fucking deserves better

(i do not like stephen’s characterization of adult bill denbrough so like let’s just throw all that bullshit out the window)

and here’s the thing: bill knows he fucked up

he KNOWS audra would be heartbroken and he can’t bear to put her through it

AND he’s like

hey, i dont deserve happiness anyway!

i built a life and fell in love with this person and i fucked it up!

and i do not deserve redemption!

so, when audra wakes up with no memory of the past week

he wants to tell her everything’s fine and they’re fine

but the lie catches in his throat

and instead a partial truth spills out

he tells her some BS about returning to Derry to be with bev, making up some long lost love story

and the hurt and pain on audra’s face is worth the fact that if she goes, she’ll be safe and she’ll be happy

and that’s more than bill deserves

he sends her off in a taxi to the airport and rubs a hand over his face

because like, what now?

he’s spent the last five or six years of his life building it around audra and making movies with her and writing scripts for her

and all that’s been thrown out the window

and like, even if he hadn’t sent his wife away, bill isn’t fucking sure he’d be able to move on from this!!

(georgie’s smiling face, covered in blood, flashes through his mind every time he fucking blinks)

(eddie’s screams echo in his ears, the sputtering, blood soaked cough and rattling of his last breath)

(the Void swallowing him whole)

(the Spider and its hundreds of fucking eggs, seeds of terror and pain and gut-clenching FEAR of What If We Didn’t Get Them All?)

anyway

bill goes to the one place he knows

he climbs the stairs to mike’s townhouse and fishes the spare key out from under the mat

and when mike comes home from the hospital, stiff and sore and homesick for something he can’t recall

bill’s sleeping in his guest bedroom

(“hey, m-mike,” bill greets, voice scratchy and some of it comes rushing back to mike

not all of it, because he hasn’t been thinking of it in a while

and these things take time

but mike remembers that he loves bill and that’s all he needs to know)

so like bill moves in

he takes Silver into town, which is being rebuilt slowly but surely and buys clothes at the second hand store, picks up essentials at the strange new mall that feels like he’s stepping into a universe outside Derry

and bill makes mike’s guest room His Room

they eat dinner together, after mike gets home from the library, and they talk

they talk and talk and talk and try to keep the memories alive

because the rest have already forgotten

bill called richie last weekend, phone crackling over the long distance, and richie had hung up on him as soon as he’d called him trashmouth in a vague attempt to spark a memory

mike tries bev and ben next, somewhere in nebraska, and their number has already been disconnected

the memories of childhood are already hazy and bill is fucking scared

he was robbed of them once and he’s not fucking letting that happen again

so one day, while mike’s at work, bill runs into town and buys like five big binders and a fuckton of looseleaf

“whatcha workin on?” the lady at the checkout counter says, snapping her gum

“history project” he replies shortly

that night, mike comes home to a kitchen table absolutely COVERED in papers and books

“we can’t let It get forgotten,” bill says, eyes wild

“you know that’s not how this works,” mike replies, calmly and casual and so so patient and bill KNOWS but they’ve gotta try!!!!!

“we can’t let Eddie be forgotten,” bill tries, needling his way into mike’s fuckin heart “or stan or g-georgie” (mike tries not to think about how, after all these years, bill can’t help but stutter his brother’s name)

mike breaks, sighing and sitting down at the table

and they work together to catalogue the history of derry

they spend long nights at the library, photocopying books and cross-referencing facts

and soon they have a pretty comprehensive history, full of small little details only they could know

and it feels solid

it feels like it’s going to stick this time

it’s like focusing on the memory of their friends has strengthened their bonds, rejuvenating their Ancient Power

the Lucky Seven are cosmically tied and bill fucking remembers that now

they wrap up the history with a final picture

a snapshot of the Losers posing in the Barrens

bill runs his fingers over eddie’s smile and richie’s glasses and bev’s hair

and then turns to mike and revels in the piece of his past he’s managed to keep

they take Silver out for a ride the next day

their history books are tucked onto the shelf in mike’s office (the room that at one point had been Bill’s Room)

mike holds tight to bill’s waist, trusting and grounding

they ride like the wind

they ride to feel alive, to feel close, and to feel Loved

and they ride because they beat the Devil

send me headcanons/prompts!

#hanbrough #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #it headcanons #THIS GOT SO LONG #IM SORRY EVERYBODY #i just have a lot of feelings about Fixing bill denbrough's character arc #my writing

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