#this SUCKS ass and i will probably rewrite it because im not satisfied

[corcedo]

@solaoccasum​ :      five times. lysandra & kazimir. five times left:     ( five times the sender and receiver parted ways )

01. shooting stars never fly for me

                                   「 well, see you soon i guess? maybe? 」

he offers, laughs a little at the awkwardness of the statement. truth be told, most of the time their meetings were never truly planned. either they ran into each other or one sought the other out - however they both somehow managed to find each other without prior discussion anyway - and yet it’s nice. a relaxing distraction from the every day shadows that creep up on kazimir.

he doesn’t know much about lysandra - hasn’t asked yet because if she ever wants to share she will. he’s caught a few facts here and there but never anything substancial; which is fine. it’s not like he’s given anything away himself either. it’s what somehow makes this comfortable in the first place. two people comfortable around each other without having to share too much.

he likes that, doesn’t remember many times in the past where someone’s been fine with things being like this even when he’s elaborated how he wasn’t one to share time and time again.

it’s late already and for the first time the dark of night becomes more like a comforting blanket than a cloak he wraps himself in so he won’t have to witness himself and can slip out of sight. he’s glad, though. that the street lights illuminate the path enough to not make the glaring lights from his eyes all too obvious. she most likely caught on anyway but it’s not like she’s commented on it. yet another thing he’ll miss once she’s gone again. being accepted without question.

she gives a laugh and - as if he’s still a child - ruffles his hair and even though he wants to be annoyed by that he somehow can’t bring himself to mind. somehow it’s comforting.

she says something and even if he doesn’t hear it properly it’s either something along the lines of “we’ll see” - which would explain the grin on her face, or a “sure” which would feel reassuring if he didn’t somehow get the sense that that’s a little less honest than the first option.

he blinks, looks up into the nightsky for a brief moment to look at the few stars visible beneath the city lights and offers a casual shrug. as if he didn’t mind the idea of not seeing lysandra again. which he does. very much so, but it’s not his place to say that anyway.

                          「 take care, and don’t cause too much trouble, yeah? 」

02.  dawn is breaking on the stage

he pauses when lysandra says she should get going. he’s come to expect that by now and he does appreciate that she gives him a warning rather than just disappear without it - as though she’s grown aware of the fact that other than her he has not many people to talk to.

as if she’s grown to understand how inexplicably, inescapably lonely he truly he is. 

it almost saddens him, to think that perhaps she really knew and that’s the reason she keeps coming back. he wouldn’t want that; wouldn’t want the burden of thinking that she only pities him and nothing more. he liked things the way they were before, when he could sincerely convince himself that his presence was truly likable. enjoyable. that it was his company she sought.

he offers a small nod, gives a smile that by his standard looks as sincere as any. perhaps one of the few advantages of not being able to properly express himself like a normal human; nobody could ever guess when he was lying or when he was being honest. at least nobody who wasn’t himself or had known him before his death. oh, but she had, hadn’t she? but did she know?

the question leaves him at a loss for words and his mouth opens as if to ask it - to consider that maybe she does, maybe that is why she returns every now and then. because back then they had parted ways and he’d never seen her again until he was somebody entirely else.

but he doesn’t, stops himself before that sort of thought can leave him in any way shape or form. instead his voice is soft, gentle. as if he didn’t just have a thousand thoughts running through his head and ripping at his heart. as if he’d simply been thinking of what to say.

                                       「 i appreciated your company today.                                            i hope  we’ll see  each other  again. 」

03. creatures of the underworld

he’s messed up. he wanted to help galanis and instead everything he has built for himself had come crashing down upon his shoulders with the weight of the earth. as though he was to blame for everything falling out of its hinges like a door breaking down. he sits idly, waits. bides his time.

and the only solace is whenever lysandra visits. it is a comfort like no other - when they first met he’d merely been a man trying to escape his own past. to avoid anyone from the past while embracing the pain it caused him like it was what his entire life was built upon, like a castle on sand. and perhaps it was; and now the tidal waves came crashing down and took the sand away.

he plays off his anxiety with a soft laugh, balls a hand into a fist as if he’s about to give her a friendly hit against the shoulder. instead he lifts it to raise his cheek against it while he tilts his head when he looks at the demi - god. she’s always been sort of a comfort to him, hasn’t she?

he smiles, a little. softly. its barely visible in the deem light of the bars back rooms - luckily enough the owner owed him several favors and they could talk and relax without the rowdy crowd behind the doors. he’d never been quite fond of those ruffians.

he looks at the clock, it’s late - perhaps way too late, even when he doesn’t know for what - and he slaps his thighs with the palms of his hands suddenly, gives a soft “so”.

                     「 i’m assuming you have business to attend to, yes?                           should you ever feel like visiting again,   i am here                            every friday and sunday  night  from  nine  pm  on.  」

he no longer says he hopes they’ll see each other again because at this point it feels almost redundant to say; if she wanted to see him she’d find him anyways. and if she didn’t, well, he’d simply have to accept that. so instead all he can do is offer her a way to make it easier.

even if it means having to make way through the human version of the underworld. but that’s fine, he assumes. he’s one of the very people here - this is his crowd even if he doesn’t want that. he’s not above any of these people and he knows they’re almost all better than him anyways. and those who aren’t ... well, before galanis calls him back he probably has some time.

04. can’t remember to forget you

she came. just like always he’s pleasantly surprised to find her enter through the door when he pretends to sip away at liquor while he smokes a cigar he can’t even taste or feel in his artificial lungs. it’s something to do, and it is what he desperately needs every time he finds himself alone in the back rooms, isolated and planning ahead. perhaps it was his dreadful cynicism but planning ahead for every possible scenario was by far the most interesting of his mundane tasks.

they spent the evening talking away, and even if it was only the barebones and superficial stuff on a past he has long since left behind and abandoned, he’s opened up a little bit. about his family, how proud he was of his sister for getting so far in life even if they were no longer on speaking terms. how he wished he could hug them all one last time.

she listens to it all, as if what he has to say is actually interesting and it makes his metaphorical heart swell. he doesn’t clearly remember the last time he’s opened up to someone about ... anything. nor the last time someone’s cared enough to listen.

and in return he listens to whatever she has to tell him, soaks it up like a sponge because it is interesting, it makes his day and it will be remembered forever. burnt into his memory to not be forgotten just like anything else in his life. but this, he actually will remember with fondness because it makes things sound as though he was actually partially a part of someone elses life.

and all night the shadows lingering over his future, waiting for the opportunity to strike and harm, are all but distant little flickers in the face of the warmth and light that lysandra brings to his life.

by the end of the night he doesn’t particularly mind that they have to part ways when she says she has to go. it’s almost like a ritual at this point anyways - lysandra giving him a heads up and kazimir, like an expectant puppy, offering any sort of information that will make it easy to find him should she seek his company out again - even when it really shouldn’t be.

except this time there’s a moment of inattentiveness, a flickering of his system warning him of something he can’t even read before it’s gone again, right as he stands up, topples over and lands directly on the knife he’s used to play dart instead of actual darts. it’s only a mild scratch, one that doesn’t even bleed (a lot) and yet lysandra seems to at least want to make sure he’s alright after she’s already helped him get up. he blinks, confused and dazed and then sits back down before he feels his shirt lightly pulled up just enough to reveal the minor injury.

she doesn’t question or mention the light purple that oozes from the wound instead of crimson blood. all she does is press a cloth against the wound until the bleeding has completely stopped (rather quickly, thankfully enough) and he finds himself staring down at her with wide eyes.

shock, fear, excitement - he doesn’t know what it is that makes him startle but he does, gives a little twitch in place at the fact she’s leaning over him by now before he tilts his head to the side.

                                   「 i’d accompany you out but i should rest. 」

he doesn’t dare to look at her expression, but she offers a reassurance that he should and that she’ll notify the barkeep to have an eye on him - just in case. he can’t quite read her tone but he does know that he feels immeasurable disappointment in himself. whatever he’s expected or wanted; once again he’s ensured it wouldn’t happen. but maybe that’s for the best.

05.  it always ends bad, doesn’t it?

the genuine concern lysandra displays warms him even against the cold of his own metal body. not that he could truly feel either of those things, but it was nice anyway.

he glances to the side, says nothing at first even when she asks if he’s okay. instead all he does is try to push the warning that repeatedly flashes in his sight out of mind; except he can’t, not when the blaring red keeps appearing over and over again. but he can’t tell her, doesn’t dare to burden her with his problems when she’s already done so much for him even without knowing.

she’s become one of the very few constants in his life and given his track record with people and the way with which she seemingly disappears (and reappears, oddly enough at least in his case) with no problem - that’s something he does not take for granted.

she has a hand on his shoulder, tries to get his attention and he looks up from the ground his gaze had been practically glued to - dazed and confused as if he’s a normal person that just woke up groggily. but he’s not, he’s a monster and he doesn’t deserve compassion and kindness. especially not in all the ways lysandra has given it to him, anyway.

no - she doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this mess; out of everyone he knows she’s the least involved in it, even if he assumes the realization from last time has partially made him reckless enough to risk a system instability. he offers a weak smile, sighs without any air or breath to it.

                                                         「 i have to leave. 」

unlike the way he stands, wobbles as if even his legs refuse to work properly, his voice is steady. calm - eerily so, even. his smile widens a little bit, just enough to be visible properly, when he reachs out a hand, rests it against her cheek and brushes his thumb over the skin of her face.

she’s warm, both inside and out, and perhaps it was greedy of him to want to feel the comforting heat of that for as long as he has. perhaps that is why now it is his turn to repay her kindness by sparing her the blistering cold of the emotional baggage that comes with him. especially knowing what is going to inevitably happen soon enough. she shouldn’t have to deal with that.

and it’s a bitter irony that the person he always assumed to be the kind to leave someone behind if she had to was the one who didn’t abandon him. it makes this all so much harder, too.

           「 words cannot express how thankful i am to have known you.                 i may never be able to repay your kindness,   but i can spare                 you the curse of knowing me in my entirety.  i just hope that                 one day you’ll remember me with fondness,       i know i will. 」

#long for ts #long tw #this SUCKS ass and i will probably rewrite it because im not satisfied #but i am running on 3 hours of sleep. its past midnight AND i wanted to finish this damn draft before i went to bed so #FJKKLDJFLS here #pls take it and dont mention how bad my writing has gotten sdFJASDKLFFJ #also am i using this as an excuse to further?? what i have planned?? yes :) #and no worries the last one isnt actual goodbye. he's gonna try to seek her out again when he feels better. but :) #you know :) #its why i was like '' :) '' when you said lysandra leaves people behind because im just jflsjakffjg #IT MADE EVERYTHING SO IRONIC FOR ME bc i literally had already planned that #kazimir who swore to himself he'd never leave anyone behind. would eventually be forced to TRY and cut ties with people #bc imagine he comes back and then she's just like. the one that leaves. #hahahahahha i am in pain dont ask me wh y #dSFJAKSLG NAYWAYS IM RAMBLING. MY WRITING SUCKS + I CANT SEE WITHOUT BLRURY VISION #it was time for len to leave he had thrown enough garbage into his replies #( answer // the golden one with the golden rules : kazimir ) #( & SOLAOCCASUM // still trying everything to keep you looking at me : lysandra )

[robertsbarbie-archive]

im putting you up to what you posted and I'm asking you to answer all of the writing questions. also the url change had me confused for half a second but im in love

This is why I’m my own worst enemy

2. Favorite part of writing.

Creating a whole world, a whole other life, that people can someday enjoy and find comfort in when they’re feeling down

3. Least favorite part of writing.

Writing, like the fact that your ideas and storyline isn’t instantly onto the paper is insane

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

I mean I probably do but I can’t remember

6. Favorite character you ever created.

A teenage greek goddess I pulled out of my ass named Arendellia, she was a badass who died and I really just liked what I wrote involving her

9. Least favorite trope to write.

the opposites attract, in my opinion it’s cliche and unrealistic, I prefer the characters have similar interests but different approaches to things if that makes sense?

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

Natasha Preston, and we’d wrote the sequel to The Cabin cause it’s been a year and I’m still not over the ending, I need a sequel

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

first I get a new notebook, I need a clean space for my ideas, then I wrote down a prologue or a description, it allows for my brain to fully process where I want the story to go, then I write until I hit a male characters name, cause I hate coming up with male names, if I have one picked out I’ll see if the image in my brain matches the name, if I can’t find a name that fits the project is discarded, if I find one that fits I write until I don’t know where to take the story next then I continue to formulate my ideas into actual scenes until I reach the end, then I close it up in a box never to be touched again until I accidentally find it while cleaning one day

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I either won’t show anyone or will preface saying “it’s not edited yet” or “I know it’s garbage lol”

13. How do you deal with writers block?

I listen to music, and write stories based off of the song titles, like I always try to write a chapter and if after a chapter I don’t think I have a story I move on, sometimes I’ll get a completely new idea but it really helps to get ideas flowing

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

I’m currently waiting to write a book until I have all of the details, it revolves around Greek mythology but I want to be so accurate, not white wash, or erase the different sexualities of the Gods and I want to be accurate to the myths (a bit) but so far that’s the one

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

My brain telling me that it’ll leave me if I don’t get the ideas out of my head

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

I learned in 7th grade that I need to do a complete rewrite which sometimes I do, other times I’m being nostalgic and read an old story then realize I’m an idiot so I edit it lol

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

‘"Coffee looks absolutely lovely on you, madam," I glare at Cody while attempting to pat myself dry.’ From that Dying in LA story I talked about earlier

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

’"I told the director to go suck a dick. It was the worse thing imaginable,” I groan into my hands.’ Same story, and it’s only the second chapter but yeah

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

Bold of you to assume I actually finish my writings

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

As big of a fan that I am of different perspectives, I prefer single POV, I feel as though the character is more personal. Rarely do I do multi

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

Prose, my poetry is rather depressing and I just can’t

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

Linear, otherwise in my opinion it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

yes and no (I’ll explain in next answer)

28. And who do you share them with?

the unpolished, I share on Wattpad because it’s easier to detach myself if they don’t like it, but I wait until polished for people I actually know

29. Who do you write for?

Myself, it’s a way for me to cope with life, and writing and rewriting an event that has happened to me helps me move on from the situation

31. Hardest character to write.

Men.

32. Easiest character to write.

Villains

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

the main character in “Dying in LA” had a rough childhood (shut up at the cliche) and used acting to escape, she moves to LA when she’s 19 having fail after fail at auditions, she’s about to give up when she gets her big break. (Sorry I’m terrible at back stories)

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Oof I want to spoil DILA (Dying in LA) but I won’t, um, I started this story about this girl who gets kidnapped and um I’m kinda planning on killing her so there’s that.

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

Bold of you to assume I’m not just BSing my way through my story

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Yes. Um, I’m gonna tell you about the real person cause I based so many characters off of this person. Oof okay, it was any ex. For years he was in EVERYTHING I wrote, the story usually focused on the what if’s or the repercussions of our relationship and the fall out of it. We just complemented each other so well the thought of writing something to try and capture our time together comforted me so much. I still get flashbacks of our time together and sometimes his personality shows up in my writing but it just goes to show how the people in your life stay with you.

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Both? I think there’s upsides and down sides to both but both are so amazing and are fun to explore

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

Be confident in your writing and it will show, don’t be afraid to take risks

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

“Great job! Keep up the good work!” Um???? what good work???? be specific please!

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?

DILA would hopefully be done in a CW style where like it’s light hearted but a real plot and seriousness lies beneath? I actually don’t know?

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Plot, my guy

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Realistic Fiction

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

the middle, most likely I already have the end and beginning planned

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.

Dying in LA: fame, used, lost, forgotten, greed

52. How did writing change you?

It gave me a place to express myself and cope with life and the struggles I’ve been through

53. What does writing mean to you?

Everything, it gives me a voice when I feel like I don’t have one

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Keep writing, practice really does make perfect

Also the url is the best (any numbers missing means I already answered them, check under #asks )

#house-in-the-backyard-trees #ask #I am now dead inside #but I asked for it so thank you

[wyrmsandrocs]

You know what you dared (anyone really) me personally to send all the writer asks so FUCKIBG ALL OF THEM BETCH

1. Favorite place to write. - I really like taking my laptop with me and writing at parks or in hotel lobbies when my fam travels, but its comfortable and familiar to write at my desk in my room2. Favorite part of writing. - letting characters be sassy and snarky. also letting characters heal.3. Least favorite part of writing. - actually putting words on the page lmfao4. Do you have writing habits or rituals? - i put on my writing playlist and if i can grab a diet coke bc it helps me feel like im ready to be productive5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most. - ooh, for writing style Caroline Lawrence’s books influenced me a lot when i was younger and more recently @lbardugo and six of crows6. Favorite character you ever created. - ahhh probably Linde, a shapeshifter who rejects all human concepts including gender7. Favorite author. - again, Leigh Bardugo. also @canipetyourdragon but like technically shes not published yet 8. Favorite trope to write. - enemies to lovers lmfao9. Least favorite trope to write. - ahh idek 10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. - @canipetyourdragon and we’d probs write abt some wacky adventure11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish. - 1) have an idea and daydream abt it for a month 2) worldbuilding/character building for a g e s 3) finally get around to writing a shitty draft 4) s u f f e r 12. How do you deal with self-doubts? - whine at someone and then remind myself that nothing starts perfect and i have time to make it better. tbqh a lot of the time i remind myself that Six of Crows started as smthn like 31,000 words and is a lot longer in the final form and, no offense to leigh, was probs kinda crap at first lmfao13. How do you deal with writers block? - i remind myself that its not gonna get written if i dont write it, i sit my ass down, and i write something. anything. any stupid sentence. and then i write another one.14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? - hoo boi am i bad at research n o t m u c h 15. Where does your inspiration come from? - a lot of my inspiration comes from music and other books, i have playlists that remind me of my characters and story on spotify and those help a lot16. Where do you take your motivation from? - i remember that i’ve always wanted to be a writer since i was like 5 and could barely write my name and i think about how much i want that to be a reality.17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day? - ehh i’d say maybe 400 words on average? the least ive written recently is 100 words the most was 1,50018. What’s your revision or rewriting process like? - ah i havent worked on one story enough to know yet19. First line of a WIP you’re working on. - No matter how many she saw, Siora couldn’t get used to Outer Land bars.

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on. - “In a shocking plot twist, the rich Kitonian girl used to be a thief,” Linde said, mimicking some sort of announcer.

“Are you just here to add sarcastic commentary?” Siora glared at them.

She seems to glare at them a lot, Dema thought.

“That’s the whole reason I’m following you,” they said, then added, “Don’t give me that look, you know I don’t really care about the war.”

“My question is why is Siora still putting up with you,” Asteria laughed.

“Don’t give me any ideas,” The Beati girl grumbled, a smile playing on her lips.

“Oh yes, don’t encourage her. She might try to hurt me with one of her toothpicks.”

Dema laughed, “Don’t insult a lady’s knives, it’s not wise.”

“What’s a lady?” The Gerum asked, feigning confusion.

“Dema is a lady,” Asteria kissed the girl on the cheek, laughing.

“Doesn’t seem very ladylike to me,” Siora snorted.

“Like you’re one to talk,” Dema shot back.

“If anyone here is a lady, it’s me,” Linde said, sticking their nose in the air.

“You aren’t even a girl!” Asteria shrieked, grinning.

“Fair enough,” They nodded.

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s. - “Yep, now we’re just doing a final check to make sure we have everything,” The girl said without looking up.22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you? - ahh depends i havent really “completed” any big projects, but for short stories usually only one or two23. Single or multi POV, and why? - multiple because i have so many characters and none of them is really the /main/ character24. Poetry or prose, and why? - i love prose but tbh im a poet at heart i write a l o t of poetry

25. Linear or non-linear, and why? - linear, otherwise i get too confused26. Standalone or series, and why? - standalone, because i think the story im working on rn is only one book long. altho i do have another story in this world planned dont tell anyone 27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? - i share as i write

28. And who do you share them with? only sharing with @canipetyourdragon tho29. Who do you write for? - myself and my future readers30. Favorite line you’ve ever written. - for prose? “You complain so much I’m starting to think it’s a religious observance,” Siora said, leaning against the wall. the answer is dif for poetry tho31. Hardest character to write. - a s t e r i a i love her but shes not fully fleshed out yet. also shes so good32. Easiest character to write. - linde that snarky bastard33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing? - yep i have a playlist that reminds me of my story34. Handwritten notes or typed notes? - both35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story. - Siora was raised to be the right hand guard of the princess, but was exiled when she died.36. A spoiler for story? - the villain gets redeemed37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you. - hm i really dont know. writing wise, i love the quote “if the muse is late for work, start without her.”

38. Have you shared your outline of your story with someone? If so, what did they think of it? - I tell wyna about all my story shenanigans and schemes, and so far i think she likes it lmao39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.- not characters i like. sometimes background redshirts are based on people i hate so that i can kill them40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why? - both. I love writing fanfiction, but i also have a lot of original stories to tell41. How many stories do you work on at one time? - only one at a time for me42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc. - a lot of the time it just comes to me, but i also answer ask memes like this as that character43. Are you an avid reader? -  y e s 44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. - hm im really not sure45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. - most unhelpful? “it sucked ass” - daedalus46. What would your story look like as a tv show or movie? - o h dude i would love to see it as a movie it would be a really cool fantasy aesthetic omg the effects for the shapeshifters would be so cool to see

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story? - this story actually started with setting48. Favorite genre to write in. - YA isnt a genre is it? technically fantasy i guess49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end? - the middle for sure50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had. - idk abt story idea but when i was 12 i killed a character by turning him into a tortilla ¯\_(ツ)_/¯51. Describe the aesthetic of your story in 5 sentences or words. - fantasy eclectic influence and design.52. How did writing change you? - honestly writing poetry gave me a way to express my feelings safely. it honest to gods helped me stop self-harming.53. What does writing mean to you? - to me it means putting my ideas and thoughts and self into the world in a way that people (hopefully) read and enjoy54. Any writing advice you want to share? - start writing and dont stop. if you think that its crap, remember that everything starts as crap, and if you think no one in the world wants to read it, remember that i definitely want to read it if you tell me about it.

tysm for asking omg!

#freya answers #a shade-y fellow