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frasier-crane-style · 7 months

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Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is a blockbuster so uncreative that it has two separate skybeams in it

Actually, what it really reminds me of is The Forbidden Kingdom, you remember, that movie where Jackie Chan and Jet Li finally teamed up, only it was all focused on some douchey kid? This is the same thing--the Autobots and Maximals finally team up!--only it's all about some douche. Because representation.

I'm serious. The Maximals are barely in this movie. The Autobots aren't in it much more. But we get a lot of this random dude, whose sole characterization is that he's from Brooklyn. Brooklyn! He's from Brooklyn, you guys!

Could it be? Are these characters in... GASP... Brooklyn?

There's also this chick, who delivers each line like she just bit into a sandwich. It makes you miss the days of Michael Bay. Sure, the actresses he cast couldn't act either, but at least they weren't 5/10. Let's admit it--the CGI model is hotter.

The plot makes no sense and is cobbled together from older blockbusters, which slightly made sense. Unicron--you know, Galactus for robots?--eats the Maximals' homeworld. He's trying to get today's MacGuffin, the Transwarp Key, which the Maximals hide on Earth in prehistoric times. Earth: The Transformers' junk drawer. Is there a single fucking widget those damn bots own that they haven't stashed here?

Now, Unicron wants the Transwarp Key because it will allow him to travel to other planets and eat them. The Autobots want it because it will let them go home to Cybertron (this movie is in continuity with Bumblebee, when they all left Cybertron).

This compels a few questions. How did Unicron get to the Maximals' planet if he can't already travel through space? Why can't the Autobots just return to Cybertron the same way they got to Earth? The movie says that Unicron is 'trapped in another galaxy,' presumably since the Maximals left, which I think the movie says happened a couple millennia ago. This seems like a short amount of time to devour every world in a galaxy, since Unicron says that he's starving--maybe he can only get around at sublight speeds? In which case you have to wonder why he can't travel FTL, but his minions can easily make it to Earth. Shouldn't Unicron be able to travel in the same manner his minions do?

Anyway, you know what all this means. Our heroes have to find two halves of the plot coupon*. The bad guys get the plot coupons instead and use it to summon up the worse guys with a portal, allowing for an endless stream of faceless CGI hordes. Rhinox has no lines.

*("This is some Indiana Jones shit," our Brooklyn protagonist from Brooklyn helpfully notes, since the movie is desperately trying to do MCU style meta humor--lots of characters talking about how silly it is that they are interacting with giant space robots)

The movie even rips off the scene from The Avengers where Loki astrally projected to talk to Thanos. Same exact visuals and everything.

Also, it's Representation now, so the first twenty minutes are about how our protagonists are oppressed by jerky white people who do evil, oppressive things like refuse them medical treatment unless they pay their hospital bills and not give them jobs because their references are bad. Which makes it unintentionally hilarious that Brooklyn guy is the first minority lead in a Transformers movie and the first protagonist to meet his Autobot buddy by grand theft auto instead of buying a car. Brooklyn!

The movie also really wants you to know that just because the Maximals came to Earth in prehistoric times, doesn't mean they created the Nazca Lines or anything. Which, bizarrely, is done by the archaeologist lady saying they must've created the Nazca Lines and Optimus Primal saying that humans did it. So... I guess she's racist for assuming Indigenous people couldn't create the Nazca Lines? It's one of those daft moments meant only to do numbers on Twitter.

Oh, and GI Joe shows up at the end. It's supposed to be one of those 'Samuel L. Jackson meets Tony Stark' moments, but that Snake Eyes movie flopped (and the movie is set in the 90s for no reason, so anyone they get would be retirement age if they did a movie in the present day), so they just give Brooklyn guy a business card that says GI Joe on it. That's the big surprise cameo. A business card.

#transformers

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muutos · 1 year

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vanessa / interpretation of fnaf lore part 2. (therapy logs / Fazbear Funtime Service - transfer to mega pizzaplex & beyond)

Going back to Vanessa's time as a beta tester in FNAF VR: once she found out about the player character of the VR experience, she lied about her family history to her mandated therapists in preparation for the day she encounters Afton. She feeds a sad story to whoever would listen, about her evil father bill, & how he manipulated her into causing her mother's suicide. this way, once it's in the system - glitchtrap could access it, & assess her as the perfect 'target' for his manipulation. rebellious side, hidden to resemble his daughter more. to become a sympathetic guise for the evil afton to corrupt. But, little does she know... She's always wanted him in her head. She wants to help him, and she wants to be with him. She loves him.

Im not suggesting Afton hasn't, and will not continue to manipulate Vanessa. However, Afton's selective empathy locks onto Vanessa. She represents new life, and the rebirth of his dreams. That of bringing Fredbear to life. His creativity and drive, meeting the skills he's learned next to Henry's robotic creation. Those which couldn't hold a candle to the type of things William could craft. She means ending his suffering in the VR experience. It's clear William cared about his children, his former wife.. His creations, or the bonnie suit at the very least. He is not hollow, in fact it is grief that has warped his sense of self.

now to preface this, In the unused E-Mails, Vanessa was an employee of Fazbear Funtime Service. A Service she & Afton launched, as a better attempt to soften the old reputation of Fazbear Ent. This is where she and Afton began their plans, as her correspondences with Afton are clearly referenced during these therapist logs. She began to change. I can prove that she began to show proficient skills in things she shouldn't, which is supporting my theory that Afton is using her as a vessel, which will also bleed into her transfer to the pizzaplex. but I'll get into that later. I'm just trying to set-up my wish to prove that afton, without a shadow of a doubt, had reason and motive to be controlling Vanessa even into the events of Security Breach.

(following therapy sessions are all taking place during her time at Funtime, unless otherwise stated)

We get, rather early evidence of Vanessa's projection of her own manipulation, as she knows their logs will be public knowledge. She wants to have their sympathy. So, she appears mild mannered at first & cooperative in the mandated therapy. However, they also mention anxiety - which could appear aggravated from someone looking in from the outside. Especially considering her erratic behavior, but i'm getting ahead myself. This is the first time her conversations with Afton are referenced, while she's still working at Fazbear Funtime:

Bringing up these chat logs, or Afton, will prove to be a fatal mistake for her therapists. But we'll also get to that. She has about five during the course of the logs, and they switch near & around the time that they begin to discuss her personal activity during business hours.

This timeline aligns with my theory of their planning to acquire the land, & rebuild the plex atop of the old fazbear location while she bides her time working at the new, smaller company under the new Fazbear Entertainment LLC. All they needed was a cheap office space at first and enough animatronics to start rolling out the characters to events. also allowing Afton to collect more remnant from the children to experiment with animating the robots by injecting their circuitry with the living metal.

All the while, Afton has all public information still relevant to Fazbear entertainment, while they're using the Fazbear Funtime revenue to fund the plans for the pizzaplex. business is booming, so things are taking less time than either of them expected. First expanding the animatronic skin line for each of the core characters, before starting construction on the mall.

i also assume that the conversations are in code, which is a written code that appears to be one thing but really is another. easy for glitch to teach her, easy for them to talk through each other with no incoming source. evidence of that, later.

she's very defensive about who she's talking about despite having no reason to be as far as i'm concerned. there's nothing concerning yet, & besides -- she controls her fate at the company. but even if she didn't, there's no evidence of her doing anything. so, this just confirms it's Afton, as she would not feel the need to jump so quickly to anyone else's defense. Cagey in particular, because she knows how valuable Glitch's CPU would be in the wrong hands. she mentions a co-worker but that doesn't explain it away.

now, my next point is the clear evidence that William or Glitchtrap (Afton) is possessing her during some of these sessions. the ones she refuses to talk in, & is seemingly bothered by the simplest things. things that wouldn't make sense, nor will later. such as here: she'll appear to have an aversion to bright light... but later on, vanessa expresses that she likes the blue sky. whether afton is just more present WITH ness, or whether he's completely in control.. that's up for debate. though, i take it he's not in complete control as much as one might think, based on my theory.

mind you, i'm not cutting out v's lines. she only says No.

why would vanessa care about being in a cubby or a cave? she wouldn't. afton would. the man who spent up to 3 decades trapped in a suit, in a sealed off room that was invisible to even the robots. the VR experience... fazbear frights. the fact that he's not used to having human eyes, anymore. of course he has an aversion to light. of course he's more comfortable and happier in the darkness. because that's all he knows, now.

this same thing also happens with flowers, later on.

.... but later, she doesn't have the same aversion to those flowers. i'll get to that in part 2 because i ran out of photo posts!!

#vanessa * / headcanon #suicide mention tw #manipulation tw #i'm such a genius i'm such a genius

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