#this is melancholy as fuuuuuuuuuuuck

[alicuntisms]

come on, skinny love, what happened here  georgiana lambe x arthur parker, sanditon

[a drabble? the beginning of a fic? i don’t even know but it’s been done. no turning back now.]

“It hurts me, Arthur,” Georgiana says quietly, laying a hand on his forearm. He starts slightly, as if he is unused to being touched. “To hear you speak of your prospects in such a way. You are a kind and caring man, a good man. You would make any lady a fine husband, I am sure of it.”

His cheeks turn pink as he covers her hand with his own, patting it gently. The flips her hand around to feel his palm against her own, to wrap her fingers around his wrist. He exhales slowly, large brown eyes filling with unshed tears.

“You are most kind, Miss Lambe. Most kind, indeed,” Arthur murmurs, his voice lacking its usual joviality. He licks his lips and gently frees his hand from Georgiana’s. She finds that that is what makes her own eyes fill with tears. “I am well aware of my future and a wife and children are most assuredly not part of it. But do not fret. I have accepted my role in life as a most jolly uncle to his many nieces and nephews and is that not a happy role, indeed?”

Georgiana frowns deeply, her eyes scanning over Arthur’s face. He is not the most handsome of men - his large figure and shy gaze making it easy for any number of women to pass him over. To her utter shame and regret, Georgiana was included amongst them. But she is not blind to him anymore - has not been for quite some time and there are no other eyes on this planet she would rather spend her time gazing into, laughing with . . . loving.

It is reckless and foolish but Georgiana cannot stop herself from leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. Arthur freezes, breath catching in his throat as Georgiana pulls away. There is a stirring in her belly that makes her want to kiss him again and again and again but when she looks up into his eyes all she sees is horror.

“Oh, Arthur,” she whispers, pulling back from him entirely, giving him the space he so clearly needs. Arthur flounders, eyes darting everywhere they can other than Georgiana herself. The stirring in her belly turns into a sick feeling that sinks all the way down to her toes. “That was foolish of me, was it not?”

Arthur’s mouth opens and closes. Once. Twice. Three times. Georgiana finds that she cannot bear it for much longer and moves towards the open doorway. She feels even more a fool realizing just how dangerous kissing Arthur Parker had been. Anyone could have seen and then where would they be? Compelled into a marriage that he clearly did not want? The thought is so abhorrent to Georgiana that she nearly cries from shame.

“Why did you do that?” Arthur asks her back, his voice barely above a whisper. “Miss Lambe? Georgiana? Why would you . . . I confess, I am most perplexed.”

“It was a kiss, Arthur,” Georgiana says over her shoulder, keeping her face turned away from him. She is embarrassed enough as it was, she did not need to add more wood to the flame. “As one does when someone they . . . love is in pain.” Arthur inhales sharply and her entire body goes cold. “I must ask your forgiveness again. It seems that I am at my most impulsive today. I shall see myself out lest I make anymore foolish declarations.”

It is meant to be a joke but the words come out sounding so very pained. She shakes her head and squares her shoulders before turning to look at Arthur again. Georgiana may be feeling foolish but she refused to be a coward as well.

He is staring at her as if he does not know her, as if they had not spent the past year getting to know each other, learning each other’s secrets and fears and loves. What makes them happy or melancholy or furious. There is so much that she knows about Arthur Parker and, yet, she feels as if they are seeing each other clearly for the first time.

“I will not ask forgiveness for the kiss,” Georgiana says softly, trying to catch Arthur’s eye. When he will not meet her gaze directly, Georgiana sighs and focuses on an errant curl that has wrapped itself around his ear. Oh, how she wishes she could comb it back with her fingers, that he was hers to simper over and care for. “For it was given in the most ardent of affections, dear Arthur, and I do not need forgiveness for expressing such a feeling. However, if I have hurt you, please know that that was not my intent. It is never my intent to hurt you, Arthur. For it would be like hurting myself, you see?”

“Georgiana . . .”

She does love the sound of her name on his lips. Georgiana smiles sadly, offering a shallow curtsy before wishing him a good day. He does not say anything, does not try to stop her, does not follow her. Georgiana tells herself that it is fine, that she did not expect anything from Arthur, that she never had. But it does not stop the tears from falling as soon as she has locked herself in her room. It does not stop her heart from aching.

Most importantly, though, it does not stop her from continuing to love him even if he does not feel the same.

#sanditon #arthur x georgiana #arthur/georgiana #georgiana lambe #arthur parker #linette writes #you can pry this ship from my cold dead hands #will this get posted to ao3? i don't know #this is melancholy as fuuuuuuuuuuuck #but i have this whole head canon that georgiana would realize her affections first and just stew over it for forever #i just really like the idea of her waking up one day and being like 'fuck i'm in love with arthur parker. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.' #it's very much spike waking up from the dream where he realizes that he's in love with buffy #had to redo this post cause the gif i wanted at the top refused to show up on the other one #i say as if anyone has noticed this post lol