#this is something im legit still unpacking the effects of

[inkskinned]

there's this video you've probably seen already where a woman is shaking in front of a microphone and delicately tries to ask - how can i make my husband listen to me, i've tried everything, i don't want to seem ungrateful and the other man laughs - the problem is that you married a man, we're only listening 25% of the time and we only understand 5% of that! and the audience laughs and the woman laughs and you just sat there, phone in your hand, letting the sound of it echo

and the thing is that people make think-pieces about it (isn't this one of them) and satire versions and "flipping the script" which is good and fun but at the end of the day, there's some truth in that man's response about men-not-listening. and you have tried to language that feeling for years, this sense that you can only take up 33% of a conversation before others view it as being "dominating".

it's not that they aren't listening, it's that the action they're taking is purposefully silencing. it's different. you accidentally-don't-listen a lot; just because the world is loud and you're distracted. you don't mean anything by it. and the truth is that the man who spoke is relying on that to be true of you; the way it's true of everyone. but there is a different undertone to his kind of not-listening. what he means is they don't respect you and you shouldn't expect them to. there is a difference between oh shit i forgot to take the trash out and why didn't you remind me to do it, just like there is a difference between i didn't realize you wanted to go out this weekend and why do you expect me to plan things why can't you just tell me where we're going.

and the thing is that it isn't just him, and it's actually not just because of your gender - your skin, your class status, your weight, their ableism - it happens often. so often it feels like a tightness around your throat and a weight in your stomach. you're not even "really" allowed to be upset about it, because to them it's a joke. and they laugh. and you know exactly the amount of work that goes into every conversation. how you have to work to condense down your thoughts into intelligent, crisp soundbites; worried someone will try to swoop in and cut you off. and there's this sense from everyone else - oh stop being so sensitive, are you really upset just because they weren't listening and you don't know how to say the way that feels when it happens constantly.

there's that video of the science summit where a woman in the audience finally says let her speak please! and the whole crowd bursts into applause and the man leading the summit holds up his hands and bows his head and says oops, sorry! like what he did was awkward and embarrassing, a little social gaffe that happens easily. later in your meetings, you're asked to take notes, and you don't say anything, you just hear let her speak please! ringing in your head and know that you'll never be brave enough for that kind of thing. and besides. think of all the people who agree this was a one-off, he just got excited and all of the people who say one man is not indicative of all of society

at the dinner table you're talking about someone you don't like and how he's not good to his girlfriend and how she always has to remind him to put the effort in and before him, she was glowing with curiosity and passion but now she just seems... tired, unhappy. that he likes the way she burns out; she stays home and takes care of him and their 2 kids. and your father sniffs and says that men take a while to learn those kinds of things. and you just stare at him and think about your childhood and are like - no wonder i turned out like this

and you want to say - there's no fucking secret school or mystic form of communication. i was not sent to Rearing a Child University. i did not graduate from Getting Chores Done College. i ask questions and i listen and i pay attention, because that's basic fucking human decency. it stems from respect, and how i respect others and their agency. i clean the house because someone should clean. not because it comes "naturally".

hell, you had to google "how to boil an egg" the other day, just because you usually make them scrambled. you can never remember which of the 2 bathroom cleaners make chlorine gas, only that two of them definitely do. you've accidentally bleached your clothes. it took you like 3 years of self-teaching before you figured out how to actually cook things correctly - for that whole time, you burnt or undercooked everything. but you did teach yourself; just like you taught yourself how to listen with empathy. just like how you taught yourself to think before you speak. to be kind first, to be better at communicating. it seemed like a good thing, an adult thing.

the joke the man in the video makes is that women say i'm fine! when they are not fine. and you think about the 150 conversations that happened around that; about how she probably has had so many arguments with her husband. how she said i'm upset you don't take me anywhere and he got mad at her because of course i do, you made me go to that stupid restaurant like last week and she probably said that's not what i'm saying and he said now i'm supposed to be psychic or something and she said no of course not and he said how am i supposed to know what to do when you don't even like everything and she said i do like things and he said well how am i supposed to win? and her pastor probably told her to be more grateful because they do things at all, even if she has to plan them and her mom probably told her that's just how men are honey and she probably cried over her journal, trying to figure out why the fuck she "has everything" and is still so bitterly, horribly unhappy

and how, in your life, for so many reasons, you looked down the barrel of another argument; of explaining yourself and being vulnerable and begging for help again. how many times you just said i'm fine because it was better than doing that again; it was better than wringing yourself out when it's literally easier to just pretend. because he wasn't going to listen. your father wasn't going to be better and your boyfriend wasn't going to be better and your boss wasn't going to be more respectful.

and you sit in front of a video of a woman shaking, looking horrible and guilt-wrought that she's even asking this question. and you know; deep in your heart - that's you. in a different life, you are her. you've stood in her spot. and you had to listen while someone else cackled - why would we bother to notice when you talk?

#writeblr #warm up #this is something im legit still unpacking the effects of #btw this is one of those intersectional feminist blogs #gender plays a role but let's be honest - this silencing comes from disrespect which can come from MANY things #white women will do it to women of color #it exists in many forms and permutations #but fuck that video made my blood run COLD #you know it's bad out there when my HORRIFICALLY right-wing trad cath father even admitted ''it's bad out right now''

[moriiyun]

(sort of) first listen: day6's the book of us: negentropy - chaos swallowed up in love

i say sort of first listen because i've heard the first 3 songs on this album before, i just haven't heard the rest. and honestly, day6's music is so complex so this reaction definitely does not do it justice, so yea!!

also reminder these are just my opinions and takeaways pls don’t kill me thanks :D

everyday we fight

i heard this before but why am i noticing so many things now???? like the funky synth bit after the first chorus and the way the 2nd chorus transitions into the 1st part of the bridge wha,,,,,, and there are 2 sections of the bridge which are completely different and i was so baffled that i went backwards to hear it again because i couldn't believe it LMAO. only day6 things i guess. also dowoon is really doing the most on the drums because there is a lot of marching band snare stuff going on especially in the pre-chorus. that's interesting tho cos it's like a battle cry, the snare drum. plus at the end of the song there is a 'ding' which is like that sound when you win a boxing match and it's like 'everyday we fight' so day6 really said fight references this is genius i love this i think it's called wordsplaining?? idk

you make me

i've heard this so many times so now whatever is here is just me nitpicking LOL but seriously, there is so much detail in this there is so much to unpack geez. like first off structure wise there are so many music breaks it actually doesn't make sense but it does. idk. also the bridge literally goes straight from the 2nd chorus non stop and then we transition into a final chorus type thing (or is it a 2nd bridge?) and i have no idea what went on there but it is good. and the pre-chorus is like 2 lines long?? strange but it works so oh well who am i to complain. also on the instrumentation,,, there seems to be like 3 layers of drums, 1 is definitely an edm beat cos it's too fast to play so that's a synth thing, 1 is dowoon playing the legit actual drums during the chorus parts but the last one is strange. it's mostly used during the verses and pre-chorus, and in the background during the chorus. it sounds like a drum pad so not the actual drum kit but the black thing that works like a drum when u hit it, but during the chorus how do u play 2 drums??? like nani?? i suspect he plays drum pad during the verses and the chorus is just an edm synth track that they recorded before hand. either that or they used a loop machine thing for the drum pad sound. i really dunno cos there's no live stages so rip. if anyone asks why i pick up drums soundwise first when i learn guitar, i have no idea okay,, i just do lol. also can we give a shoutout for vocals for 5 seconds,, especially wonpil's falsetto-belt-falsetto in the bridge like damn. talent.

healer

okay i've heard this one before too and this song is. interesting. cos it made me realise that this album so far has basically been even of day's sound with fuller instrumentation. it's more synth than piano based and that's not bad, it's just new for day6 imo. this song is mostly interesting structure?? like the synth bit at the intro was funky and the verse dropping down into the pre-chorus before going up into the chorus just works?? idk. also i'm gonna take a moment to talk about the post-chorus because this is one of the most effective post-choruses i know. i'm not the biggest fan of post-chorus stuff cos it's kinda weird sometimes but this works idk. the synth melody that they play during that part is addicting and also for some reason very destabilising? like idk feels like i'm flying in the sky with peter pan or something. it works for me it sounds really nice. also once again the bridge is a strange one because it's basically a whole section of loud crowd-cheering type sounds and then 1 actual proper line and them BOOM chorus again. a bit like the bridge of shoot me except that bridge has 2 sections 1 cheering one actual singing. this doesn't really have that but somehow it works for the song. day6 are magic i don't make the rules. also can you imagine this in concert with an actual crowd T_T

only

what. WHAT. i haven't heard this one before and i kid you not my mouth was open for the whole song in SHOCK. remember when i said so far the album was very even of day style? well the intro of this song said SIKE and now i can't process SHIT. like what even happened???????? it all sounds good tho. this song is really calming and i will probably start registering it when i start listening to it more. but i'm just gonna talk about verse 2 for a second because ???????????????????????? im so shook someone sang in a low timbre and i was like ??? who this ?? and i was like oh maybe it's jae and i couldn't figure it out until the end of the verse TURNS OUT IT'S FREAKING BRIAN/YOUNG K WHAT EVEN THAT DOESN'T EVEN SOUND LIKE HIM ????????????? im so confused day6 vocal kings i guess. also the bridge...sungjin just kept climbing up and i was like wait his range isn't gonna make it to the end of the bridge but nO IT TRANSITIONS TO BRIAN SO SMOOTHLY AND ONCE AGAIN I AM BAFFLED HOW DO THEY DO THIS. many questions no answers. also outro bit was really nice and it led into a fadeout that i don't usually like but was expected for this song cos this song definitely needs a fadeout so yknow, it works. anywho good song still very baffled but good song. also last note i forgot about this but they were doing a lot of voice echoing like choir-esque bits and that was super cool.

above the clouds

first things first: the return of shaker, acoustic guitar and piano my beloved <3 like the sounds were so pretty and acoustic in the first verse i knew there was gonna be a drop somewhere but the drop came in a place i didn't expect and in a way i didn't anticipate - turns out it's the one melody i remember from the teasers and now it's gonna be stuck in my head forever because it's that good of a melody. i also didn't expect the drums to go that hard but they did and it works out so yknow what i can't complain. once again day6 are wordsmiths and musical geniuses because they started the song very softly with the sound of wind, as if you're flying in the sky cos 'above the clouds' but not only that they end with a similar windy sound and they also end similar to landed (by even of day) which is so poetic and ironic because landed = on the ground and this song is 'above the clouds' like seriously this is the biggest brain shit ever. the bridge has an ascending bit which is super cliche but idk this is one of those songs where you want them to follow the cliche melody??? idk but it worked for me and this might be one of my faves in the album so far.

one

this song ................... wack. it starts with an almost hip hop beat and i was like ??? but then it slowly layers more vocals and instrumentals and suddenly it sound like well, a day6 song. and i cannot explain how in love i am with the chorus, it feels like the rallying cry of the broken people, and it just reaches you in a very different way from the rest of the song and is completely different. also there is someone singing a lower harmony at certain parts of the verse and it is so LOW and i cannot figure out who sings it but it almost sounds like dowoon so like DOWOON MAYBE VOCALS???? idk but yea it is one interesting harmony because usually day6 layer upwards and not downwards, but this really adds depth, like so much of it and it works for that portion. also the bridge is super cool cos it starts right after the chorus but the drums cut out but then they come back in so you focus on that and then as it's building up it abruptly just stops. and the music cuts out for a good 3 counts and you're so confused and then suddenly mini drum solo !!!!!! and it makes you anticipate and look forward to the chorus that much more because it just stops and you're left wanting so much more, especially because it echoes off at the end and DOESN'T RESOLVE NICELY. it makes you feel like the song isn't done or is too short. overall it's an incredible song and it really is just that good aaaaaa

so let's love

woah. literally this song is so......idk anymore. it starts off super acoustic and just very mellow but it just suddenly cuts to what you think is the chorus but nO it's actually the pre-chorus so it feels like you false started and it's so mind boggling and suddenly instrument breaks everywhere and no proper second verse, we immediately get a pre-chorus and second chorus and then drum and electric guitar break ????? and then bridge which is CRAZY because we go from falsetto airy stuff to BELTING and suddenly it goes quiet and then INTENSIFIES WITH 2 LAYERS OF SINGING before quieting down and ending. and it really is such a fitting ending to the album because it encompasses the absolute chaos because there isn't a regular proper structure and yet it's beautiful and melodic and sings about soft things and it feels like a warm hug. basically 'chaos swallowed up in love' put into music. and it's so fitting and just works because this is just a day6 sound that is so. them. and it's what this album is all about, the strangeness of it all with something familiar, which is probably what makes it such a welcome listen.

edit

figured out why this song hits different: it’s desperate and sad as fk. hits you straight in the feels because it’s as if they’re yearning for something but it’s so out of reach that they just. stop. idk it really is just heart wrenching in every single way. someone compared it to ‘i need somebody’ but idk i feel like it’s same but different.

overall, day6 never disappoints and it's once again an epic album from them. this is my first ot5 comeback as a myday so this album is super special to me and to have such a beautiful tracklist is amazing. it's incredible what day6 do every single time, they are insanely good at what they do and i'm so glad that i have their music.

#the only disappointing thing is no dowoon vocals but it's okay we'll live #also yes i am reacting to music again!! #─ music #day6 #a: the book of us: negentropy - chaos swallowed up in love