#this is what I meant by the necromancy is tailored to you btw

[capybaraonabicycle]

Kiss 38 for Mels and Fugitive💔

Thank you so much for making me write for my AU the first time in half a year, love!

I had a blast coming up with a scene I hadn't planned on, because I had actually already written the grand final kiss with time running out in an earlier part of the AU. So, for context, this is the night before that part, when the Doctor already knows what will happen the next day but Mels remains oblivious (in order to improve the chances of their escape working). If you have more questions, just ask, I'll be very glad to talk about the whole situation more :)

But yeah, in a nutshell: The Doctor and Lee are planning to fake all of their deaths and flee Division with Mels and Karvanista (leaving Gat behind). The Doctor will turn herself human and hide on Earth with Lee. Mels and Karvanista are supposed to be sent to Leadworth where she will be instructed to wait on the bowtie!Doctor to be ready to kill him, should he ever come into existence. (Which is what they are trying to prevent by running away - the Doctor believes the Bowtie (who she knows about from Mels' tales) to be herself under Tecteun's influence.)

I hope you like it!

A kiss because time is running out

Rating: Teen

Genre: Angst that I somehow managed to weave some fluff into

Warnings: Necromancy, mentions of a siege, carelessness in regard to alcohol abuse, some swearing

Words: ~3500

The Doctor had seen many a beautiful sight in her life. Meteor showers were always a vision, or fogbows that stretched across the sky in milky glory, or a swarm of these tiny insects they had had on Mondas that shimmered in whatever colour contrasted the background the most, or – the point was, she could name a thousand beautiful things off the top of her head if asked. But the most beautiful thing in all of the universe, she found, were the traces of amazement blooming on a face. The innocent joy, the pleasant surprise, the immediate love for something you didn't quite understand yet – there was nothing that beat the sight of someone being hit by unexpected wonder.

So, when Lee asked her if there was anything else he could get her, there was really only one answer she could think of.

“Where are we going?” Mels was trailing behind and inadvertedly pulling at her hand, ever incapable of simply following, be it an order or literally walking after the Doctor.

The Doctor looked back for a second to smile at her fondly: “On a date.”

“At Division headquarters?” Mels frowned, but she did press her hand in silent gratitude. “Can't we sneak out?”

“Not tonight” the Doctor said.

'Not anymore' she thought. Not that they had managed to sneak out much at all in their time together; she could count the precious few times on one hand, actually. So many missed opportunities, so much lost time that they should have stolen back from Tecteun.

"We're going to need our energy resources for tomorrow" the Doctor said. Which was true, in a way, but mainly they needed to stay under the radar more than ever.

"Yeah right" Mels scoffed. "For a siege."

The Doctor frowned at her.

"There are people starving during that seige" she reminded her. "Nevermind the casualties when a shot does get through the defences."

A tender expression crossed Mels' face for a second, then she shook her head.

"You're as sentimental as they come" she claimed. "But even you can't deny that a siege is rather boring compared to what Tecteun usually throws us in."

"Which is why we need to be on guard" the Doctor said, and Mels' eyes lit up.

"Do you believe she has an ace up her sleeve?" she asked eagerly. "That there will be an unexpected twist and it won't be a pure stealth mission after all?"

"You sound awfully excited at the prospect" the Doctor snorted.

"Course I do, honey, you know me" Mels grinned and the Doctor grinned back.

"That I do" she agreed, stopping next to a door. "In here, love."

"The kitchen?" Mels asked in surprise when they entered and a pleased and teasing smile grew on her face. "Doctor, you haven't cooked for me, have you?"

"No" the Doctor flinched.

Of course! That was what she should have done, wasn't it? What was the romantic thing to do? What she wouldn't have given for a little more time now. Just so she could make a mental note to cook for Mels another time, to live up to her, be the partner she deserved.

She made the mental note anyway and it felt like defying her fate. Maybe she would remember, eventually. Maybe they would meet again, someday. Maybe then she would be able to fulfil the unspoken promise. It was about as likely as Tecteun suddenly deciding to sent her into retirement and springing for a pension. But, as Mels would have pointed out if the Doctor had been able to tell her any of this, minuscule chances literally were their daily bread. So who knew? Maybe this would actually all end well. Now she only needed to find the hope she had lost somewhere and to start believing in that.

"Maybe for the best" Mels teased. "I doubt you can make an omelett without burning down the kitchen."

The Doctor huffed. "You're one to talk. I remember when you tried mixing Gat a drink and she said it tasted like pure absinthe."

"Who says that wasn't by design?" Mels smirked. "She was the most fun I have ever experienced with her that night."

"The drink was literally burning" the Doctor pointed out. "I don't believe that was by design."

"It's called a 'flaming drink', darling" Mels deadpanned. "It's totally a thing, my grandpa even orders those."

"Brian orders flaming drinks?" the Doctor echoed. It didn't quite fit the image she had formed of the man from the memories she had seen in Mels' mind.

Mels groaned. "Okay, fine, his mates do. The point is, I am a legit cocktail-connaisseur. And I could also cook an omelett. Probably. Possibly. If I had to."

The Doctor's mouth twitched amusedly. "Let's just stay away from the stove, maybe, what do you think?"

"Good call" Mels pressed her hand, curiously peering around her back when the Doctor approached the fridge. "What are we doing instead?"

"I'll blow your mind" the Doctor boasted, taking a glassbowl with a translucent liquid out the fridge.

Mels' eyes grew wide.

"Is that vodka?" she asked. "Are you actually getting drunk with me, honey?"

"I should not have mentioned the Gat incidence" the Doctor winced. "Now your mind is set on booze, isn't it?"

"I could go with ginger tea instead" Mels grinned, obediently taking the bowl that the Doctor handed her.

"Now there's a thought" the Doctor hummed.

If desperation clawed any harder at her hearts, she might let herself be convinced to go for ginger; hangovers were hell but she much preferred getting drunk on the root than the disgusting drinks that went for 'alcohol' around the galaxy. Not that she had planned on getting wasted on her last night with Mels, but forgetting what she was about to do the next day did sound tempting. Then again, it might increase the probability of spilling the beans and she could not, should not, had not to do that. Not this close to achieving their aim.

"So?" Mels was looking at her expectantly over the rim of the bowl, one eyebrow raised and instantly, the Doctor lost her track again, staring at that achingly familiar face.

How could she think she would be able to bid her goodbye? Mels had become a constant in her life, one of the few gleams bringing light into existence under the Division. For the last years, the Doctor had been leaning on her, more than she cared to admit. Separating from her would feel like giving up a part of herself. Except that it wouldn't, not instantly at least. Couldn't feel like losing a part of yourself when you weren't yourself anymore.

"Follow me." The Doctor pushed past Mels to hide her troubled face from clever eyes with eyebrows that threated pulling together.

She didn't look back, knowing that Mels was bound to be on her heels. Maybe she was excellent at following orders after all – the truth was of course that she always knew which orders were necessary. Or maybe it was that the orders Mels deemed necessary inadvertedly became the important ones. It didn't matter. It was all over now anyway.

The dining room of Division headquarters had a balcony protected by an airbubble. It wasn't like the Doctor had a key, but she had a Lee and that was basically the same thing.

"Sneaking out after all, are we?" Mels hummed, when they stepped outside and the Doctor shrugged and sat down on the stone floor.

"Just a bit."

"You're pulling out all the stops, I see." Mels sat down next to her, their shoulders brushing.

"Always for you" she couldn't help that her voice sounded way more serious than the banter demanded.

Mels cocked her head and the Doctor could tell she was slowly but surely growing concerned. And who could blame her, really? "Are you alright, Doctor?"

"Of course I am" she lied. "You know me, I am always alright!"

Which was precisely the wrong thing to say to Mels, of course, but the Doctor distracted her before she could argue. She tapped the bowl that Mels had set down in front of her knees. "Any idea why I gave you that?"

"Some" Mels smirked. "It's not vodka, I've smelled it."

"It's Polarfreyan oil" the Doctor explained. "Mind you, it's not actually from Polarfrey. No one knows where it comes from, but since it appeared to have come from far away, ancient Gallifreyans called it after the most distant planet they were aware of."

"If no one knows where it comes from, how come you have a whole bowl of the stuff?" Mels pointed out and the Doctor grinned.

"You can buy it at any good gift shop on Reave."

"Of course." Mels rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Nothing as irresistable as a gift shop, is there?"

"I love a little shop!" the Doctor said defiantly. "There's no need to tease me about it."

"Aw, but it's too easy" Mels cooed, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'm so glad you spent your money on something as valuable as a bucket of oil, honey."

It hurt terribly to be mocked by her like this, when her voice slipped into that tender undertone and her eyes twinkled merrily, that cheeky smile pulling at her lips that always seemed to be reserved for the Doctor. It hurt when she knew that it meant Mels loved her, when she knew that it was all but over, when she knew that she was lying to her by not warning her of what awaited them the next day, when she knew that she was about to hurt her and she had been planning to do it for a while. The fact that there was no other way did not make it any better.

The Doctor swallowed all of those thoughts in one big gulp and managed to smile at Mels.

"You know, everytime you mock me like this" she started, "I suspect you are trying to get a rise out of me, dear, just so I give in and kiss you to shut you up."

"Oh no, my ulterior motives have been discovered" Mels hummed contentedly.

"I have been called a genius before" the Doctor said, righting her lapels.

Mels' hand wound around her neck, tipping her face into her direction from behind.

"Go on then, you genius" she taunted. "Shut me up."

Their faces were so close now that the Doctor thought she could see the stars reflect in Mels' eyes. Or maybe that was just the light from the kitchen. She tried imprinting the image into her memory, never to lose. Oh, but you know you can't keep your memory anyway, not where you are going, Doctor.

"Shut you up?" she echoed, her voice soft and husky. "And miss out on all the remarkable things you say? Why would I do that?"

"Of for fucks –"Mels hauled her in, guiding their lips together and pressing herself against the Doctor's body. Automatically, the Doctor's hands wandered to her back, holding her tightly and she let herself get lost in the familiar feel of how their bodies fit together.

She tried to blend it all out, just be in the moment, just enjoy the kiss and it worked surprisingly well. Apparently, it was difficult thinking of disaster when Mels Zucker kissed you, slowly, lavishly, like she didn't have a care in the world, like they had all the time in the universe at their disposal.

All too soon, Mels pulled back. Of course it was for a smug remark, what else would have distracted her?

"Want something done, do it yourself" she commented and made a move to dive back in.

The Doctor wanted to let her, too, it was incredibly tempting. But she had had plans for tonight and if they kissed any longer, she knew they would end up postponed. And as things were, they couldn't very much allow themselves any postponing, now could they?

So she caught Mel's jaw in her hand, tenderly cupping her cheek. Mels pulled an adorably cross face, but it softened, when the Doctor brushed her thumb over her cheek.

"Let's have your surprise first, love, what do you say?" she offered.

A smirk curled around Mel's lips. "I thought that was that pretty bowl of mysterious oil you got me?"

"Shut up" the Doctor said fondly and Mels' eyes lit up.

"Make me? This time?"

The Doctor ignored her in hope of getting somewhere tonight. Before their time ran out.

"It's not just any oil" she explained, picking the bowl back up from in front of Mel's knees. She held it out to her again and Mels' fingers deliberately brushed against hers when accepting the glass. "They also call it 'the oil of life'."

"Because...?" Mels indulged her, not without taunt.

With great flourish, the Doctor produced a stone from her pocket. "I have got something else for you."

Mels shifted the bowl into her lap in order to take the stone from her. With a frown, she regarded the gift, but it gave way to a smile when she recognised the fish skeleton that had been caught in the mineral.

"It's a fossil!" she realised.

"Thought you might like that" the Doctor teased. "Archeologist."

"Paleontologist" Mels corrected, eyes still on the fossil. "Paleontology is the study of fossils. Archeologists care about humans exclusively, or intelligent alien lifeforms eventually, I assume. Whatever, you secretly love my passion for archeology."

"I do" the Doctor admitted softly. "It is beautiful to see you passionate."

Now Mels looked up, slightly confused. "No arguing, really?"

"You will become an excellent archeologist some day" the Doctor said earnestly, not letting herself be discouraged. "People will be lining up for your talks."

"Yeah, right" Mels snorted. "Hate to inform you, love, that I can scarcely study archeology, stuck as I am with you at our beloved Division."

That, at least, was a pleasant secret the Doctor was keeping from her. That she wouldn't be stuck for much longer, that she would get to study archeology. The hard part was that she wasn't stuck with the Doctor either, much as both of them wanted that. It was quite the contrary, really.

The Doctor forced yet a new smile onto her face. "Would you like to see what the fish looked like, before it got fossilised?"

"Sure" Mels nodded. She looked expectantly at her, like she waited for the Doctor to produce a photo.

So, this was where the good part started, then. Suddenly, the Doctor's smile felt genuine again.

"Drop the stone into the oil" she ordered and the understanding and hopeful anticipation in Mels' eyes was already gorgeous enough to take her breath away.

Gingerly, Mels lowever the fossil above the oil.

"Maybe don't touch it with your bare skin" the Doctor said hurriedly. "I'm not sure what it would do to a living being."

Mels raised an eyebrow at her, stopping mid air. Then she gently let go of the fossil, pulling her hand away from the small splash of oil that the impact produced.

The stone sunk slowly into the liquid and Mels watched with fascination, how the skeleton started glossing over, colourful scales growing over bare bones, sprouting wavy fins and a sparkling eye, until, all of a sudden, the fish started moving. Mels gasped in delight, when with a decided flick of its tail, it shoved its encasing stone away and started swimming through the oil. The feeble light reflected off its scales in hues of brilliant purple and blue as it wound itself towards the surface of the bowl in tight circles.

"What's it doing?" Mels whispered excitedly, when already, the fish brust through the surface, swimming up into the air as easily as it had traversed the oil.

Mels let out another soft gasp and watched with a bedazzled smile how the fish swam up to her face. It hovered there for a while, looking like it admired itself in the reflection of her eyes. Or maybe it admired Mels herself, just like the Doctor had been doing the whole time. She had been correct: No wonders of the universe could measure up to the sight of bliss on her face.

Mels reached out with her hand, as if to let the fish sniff it – did fish have noses? - and immediately it turned around and took off, flying away in the direction of the stars. There was a soft 'plop' when it crossed the air bubble and then they were watching how it quickly disappeared in the dark depths of the night sky.

Mels' gaze dropped to the rest of the fossil, taking in how the bones had disappeared.

"How is this possible?" she muttered. "Did we turn it alive again? And how can it swim in air? How can it breathe in the vacuum? This is bonkers!"

"They don't call it 'oil of life' for nothing, dear" the Doctor quipped smugly.

"Nothing like a bit of necromancy to brighten up the evening" Mels snorted.

"That wasn't just any fossil" the Doctor told her, leaning over and dropping her voice so Mels understood the gravity of the tale. "It came across the Karax Rift from an alternate universe a few thousand years ago, and it is supposed that the corresponding fish species must have died out wherever it came from. That fish had been extinct for thousand of years in another universe! And now it is crossing our sky."

She smiled in awe at Mels, but for some reason, Mels was looking thoughtful.

"What will happen to it now? Will it ever die?" she asked and there was a strange strain to her voice.

The Doctor frowned. "I don't actually know. I suppose it must, some time. Everybody dies eventually."

"So, it will continue travelling the universe all alone" Mels concluded. "Perhaps indefinitely. The last, the only one of its species. And it doesn't even know whether there's hope it can ever find the way home."

It sounded like she wasn't talking about the fish anymore.

"Mels -" the Doctor started. I will take you home. I can't bring your people to you, but I will bring you back to your parents. Sooner than you can imagine. So much sooner.

She couldn't tell her. Couldn't tell her that travelling the universe was over for her now. Couldn't tell her that they would have to part. Couldn't even think of what she'd have to ask of her. How she would hurt her. And she couldn't say goodbye either.

"Betcha it's seeing some beautiful stars though, on its way" Mels tried a smile, when the Doctor couldn't go on. Her eyes were looking very shiny now, tears waiting to fall when she cupped the Doctor's cheek. "And visiting new worlds, making new friends. I bet it is making the most of its freedom."

"I'm sure of it" the Doctor promised.

"And at least it got to fly away" Mels mused. "What wouldn't I give if I could just – take your hand and go. Away from here, towards everything. Just you and me and the whole universe."

The Doctor had to gulp. "Now that would be something."

And it could be so good. Their imminent escape. It could be so liberating, it could be a reason for celebration. If only they got to stay together. If only this wasn't their last evening of knowing each other. If only time wasn't running out.

"Doctor?" Mels' voice sounded very far away, but the Doctor managed to return to her, when her other hand came up to her cheek as well, cradling her face from both sides. There was concern evident in her eyes, stronger now, but she soldiered on, like she always did, reassuring the Doctor. "Honey, hey. Don't give up on me now. We will get out of here someday. I promise."

Too soon. It's too soon.

Mels was wrong. And she herself was wrong as well: She did not kiss Mels to shut her up, she kissed her to shut up that desperate voice inside her head. Maybe it would content itself if she allowed herself to be as close to her love as possible.

Maybe, when Mels lips slotted against her own, soft and alive and insatiable and when her hands wandered from the Doctor's cheeks to her neck and the fabric of her shirt to pull her ever so much closer, maybe then the voice would finally stop reminding her of the end. Maybe, if she focused strongly enough, on the warmth growing in her stomach, the silk of Mels' skin against her own, on her smell permeating the air, her taste on her lips and tongue, maybe then she could stop time, just for a second, call it back one last time while passing the exit, make it stop in its tracks for just a moment, before it was gone. At least she would try her very best.

Thank you so much for reading!

#doctor who #doctor who fanfiction #dw fanfic #mels zucker #fugitive doctor #melody pond #river song #doctorriver #yowzah #doctor x river #division!mels zucker au #fugitive doctor x mels zucker #thank you so much for the prompt!! #is that oil supposed to be the same that attacked heather? yes and no #(not sure whether you asked yourself that question but I am answering anyway) #I definitely modeled it after the heather creature's oil and I believe it is possible the two are the same #but also the Doctor treats it as commonplace around gallifrey so either that changed or it is something else #this is what I meant by the necromancy is tailored to you btw #because you like heather a lot :) #but yeah I think it is very doctor to have some nice necromancy for your last date with your partner #who you're about to send away and forget about :) #creating a fish that is the last of its kind and sent travelling through space #and you will only see your lover again once you are like that fish - & getting compared to another fish(well a whale isn't a fish but ykwim #- all alone very old very tired and very far from home #so yeah #btw gat deserves a raise for all I put her through #especially for having to deal with Mels on top of the Doctor #every fic I write that she appears in I am just constantly shaking my head about her poor soul