#this isn't about self-hatred but a burning desire to perfect the craft of being an actual person

[uncanny-tranny]

On the "darker" side of being comforted by one's immortality (not in the physical, but metaphorical), I've always been comforted by bone needles.

The idea that even after death, you've still been remembered by how you are used. No, bone needles probably weren't used with human bones, but it's a reminder that you aren't just going to... disappear. I'm comforted in the knowledge that I don't end in a "me" but in a "we," in nature. Everything about me is reused material so much more ancient than I am, and knowing that, I feel so much closer to the world.

#positivity #death positive #death tw #i know i mentioned the last part in a different post but i will never ever forget that nor will i talk about it only once #and the fact that we've found fifty THOUSAND year-old bone needles comforts me too #if you want immortality then there - that's your immortality staring you in the face! #we like to concieve of immortality as something you hold direct witness to but that's only a fantasy... #...in reality you will be immortalized - or likely will be - but it's in such a way you won't be able to witness it firsthand #i have always grappled with the knowledge i could be remembered and recognized and noticed in ANY way #i don't want that and knowing that i am simply borrowing what makes me 'me' does comfort me #it takes the burden off of being Me if that makes sense #this isn't about self-hatred but a burning desire to perfect the craft of being an actual person #i was so absorbed in being Me that i forget that i am part of this universe #human-centeredness will convince you that humans are almost... separate from the universe... #...that humans are unique from the concept of Nature and the World... #...blame it on capitalism or blame it on hubris or blame it on lack of insight... but when you discover how directly connected... #...to the universe you are i think you can learn to sit and appreciate... all of it #from the beetle crawling over your shoe to the wasp gazing into your car mirror... you'll appreciate it #i wonder if anybody else Gets what i'm ranting about here. i always feel weird talking about the things that bring me comfort