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crying-over-cartoons · 22 days

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College Blues

@basicallyjaywalker WOE! FANFIC BE UPON YE!

Prompts: Man-Made Object by Lemon Demon, bring, college, suite, sandwich, opposed, 98 (with a little inspo from The Machine by Lemon Demon)

post-Crystalized, pre-Dragons Rising

Jay leaned back and wiped his arm across his forehead, inspecting his work.

He'd been working on this project for weeks now, but he was nowhere near done. He just had to finish this, and then he'd start writing those letters.

Wait- what was this, 1998? He'd do it online.

But he'd do it after this. It's not like he was avoiding doing it, just... prioritizing.

He got back to work.

-=-

He wasn't sure how long it had been before someone knocked on the door to the makeshift workshop- with the Monastery's basement destroyed, they'd had to set up a temporary workspace while it was being rebuilt.

"Come in!"

Nya walked over to put a plate with a sandwich on it on the table. "I came here to bring you some lunch."

Jay barely glanced up when he said, "Thanks, Nya, I'll get to it in a bit."

Nya sighed. "You've been working on that almost nonstop for ages now. You need to take a break. Do you even know what it is at this point?"

Jay opened his mouth to explain, before closing it. He'd been working on it for so long that he'd kind of lost sight of whatever his original goal had been.

"No."

"Then I think it's time for a break. C'mon."

Nya led him away from the worktable to sit on the floor with her. She offered up the sandwich again, and this time, he took it.

"So, what's bothering you?"

"Noffimg," Jay said through a mouthful of peanut butter.

"Yeah, right. Whenever something's bothering you, you avoid it by throwing yourself into a project. Y'know, like a machine that you can't remember the purpose of."

Jay chewed in silence for a moment, trying to figure out how to put his thoughts together. He swallowed.

"Well, there's no end-of-the-world situation going on right now. Wu said the Overlord isn't gone for good, 'cause he's like, a law of nature or something, but hopefully he'll be gone longer than he was last time... And Kai, Zane, Cole and I don't have our powers anymore."

"You're more than your powers, Jay. You're creative, and smart, and funny. You're my Yin."

Jay put his plate down. "That's- that's not what I meant. I meant- we're kind of, normal, now- and there's no big villain to worry about, and... I've been thinking, about...

"I wanna go to college."

He picked at his jeans where the fabric had worn thin over the knees. "I guess... I was working on this to avoid making applications. It just- feels like too big of a change, y'know? I'm not opposed to it, obviously, but... And- I'd have to move. Making the commute from here to even the closest college every day isn't really feasible."

Nya put her hand on Jay's back. "I think I get what you mean. We've been doing... this for so long that anything else feels wrong, huh?"

"Yeah."

Nya leaned in front of him so he could see her smile. "Well, I say, if you want to, then go for it! We've all worked hard to keep Ninjago safe, I think it's fair for you to do something for you." She punched his shoulder playfully. "Just make sure to invite me over every now and then when you move into the penthouse suite!"

Jay laughed, "I will, I will, don't worry!"

After a moment, Jay's smile softened. "Thanks, Nya."

"No problem. I love you, Jay."

"I love you too."

i hope it was everything you ever dreamed of, Rook! it came out shorter than i intended, but I'm not one to try and force a story to be longer than feels natural. either way, this was fun!

#ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #ninjago jaya #crying over writing

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hislittleraincloud · 4 months

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Caveat: I don't know exactly what the voters need to be looking for when judging this shit. And for all I know the paint blood F/X thing is more of a responsibility for the people behind the camera who want things to look good in the frame.

But really...I honestly cannot believe that this incongruous piece of shit makeup work from 'Woe What a Night' that I always point and laugh at when it's on my screen big or small won a goddamn Creative Arts Emmy for Outstanding Contemporary Non-Prosthetic Makeup...because shit like this exists in the episode:

In the earlier part of the scene, it's watery paint. We can see that, and we can see how it dripped onto Ortega's face in that thin film, full face coverage, then right after her vision, she zips out of the ballroom intent on getting to Eugene.

But then some ✨creative✨ thought that it would be cool to mix up actual stage blood and then dump it onto Ortega's clearly clean face, even though the paint didn't have that thicker consistency at all (because yanno...Stupid Viewers Are Stupid and Won't Notice, it's not important, so long as it looks okay! which I've never thought that it does 💀). I wouldn't take issue with this if they had just used the stage blood to begin with, but there are pro rules for that too, with professional makeup artists warning not to misuse stage blood:

"...Misusing fake blood can also quickly make a realistic design appear overtly fake. When designing a look, consider the optimal color and thickness of any fake blood you intend to use. It should closely resemble the wound or effect you are trying to create.

Pro Tip: To make a special effects makeup look more realistic, consider the direction that blood would flow from a wound, or how the blood would splatter. Don’t simply spray blood in every direction. In real life, this doesn’t happen NEARLY as much as you’d think."

I can't be the only one annoyed by the difference, SINCE WEDNESDAY EXPLICITLY SAID THAT SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT THEY COULDN'T EVEN SPRING FOR PIG'S BLOOD. "IT'S ONLY PAINT." And it wasn't just on Ortega's clean face, it's on Ricci's clean face too:

✨But Tor, it LOOKS BETTER TH --✨

NO.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

This is just some bull💩 if the Academy thinks this was better contemporary makeup work than The Last of Us, AHS, or Picard. As much as I like and tolerate this show, its continuity is HORRENDOUS, as I've pointed out in Fuck Those Propmasters.

...So congrats(?) on casting some kind of spell over the voters for the win. I haven't even mentioned the CAKE on Ortega's face throughout that erases all of her freckles. Yes, I get it, she had to do whiteface since Wednesday is pale/dead looking, but there was just too much in some places that was really noticeable. (It's most evident when she talks to Enid at the beginning with her Murder Board and when Xavier makes her ask him to the Rave'N. But then it isn't caked during the Rave'N itself. It's actually not as caked on in other episode scenes, like when she's opening her snood gift. Perhaps the makeup of the Rave'N was a factor since it was nice, especially the Nightshade girls and Enid.)

Anyway, IDGAF if I sound like a raging cunt. I expect things that win awards to be legit worthy of recognition...this was not. Not for this, at least. Contemporary Costuming, fair, I guess (I mean...the Nevermore uniforms seem like an homage to Beetlejuice, the cat costumes Batman Returns, but otherwise, costuming seemed rather boring to me, but whatever, maybe it was the contrast between Wends and her colorful roommate that made it stand out). But not makeup, it was just way too inconsistent and there were better nominees.

ETA: I had to re-edit this because some of my other edits didn't save for some reason.

#signed - a very cranky ex-A&E critic #woe what a shitshow #woe what a night #paint vs stage blood #wednesday #wednesday netflix #netflix wednesday #jenna ortega #christina ricci #creative arts #emmys

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signalhill-if · 1 year

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Btw I'm sorry that thing I tried to do yesterday didn't work out, after the technical difficulties I got kind of exhausted about the whole thing and there wasn't really enough interest to justify to myself to keep going. I took down the things I did put up kind of on a whim because it felt weird to leave it up without knowing if I was going to continue. In retrospect maybe I should have just left them and then continued the next day or whatever, but y'know. It is what it is. I may put something like that back up soon, just not right this instant.

Woe, discussion of creative endeavours and audience interaction lie below. Turn back, all ye who do not want to read my thoughts about insecurities with sharing stories.

I think to be honest I was a little disheartened by the results of that poll, because if there's anything I don't want Signal Hill to be it's the kind of game where you play along with a story you don't really care about so you can obtain romance scenes with a generic tropey love interest? Not that that's a bad way for a story to be if that's what the author wants it to be, but I know there are a lot of authors who have their work treated like that when it's not intended to be that, and it's obviously kind of hurtful. That's part of why I've resisted having any kind of romantic relationships in my games, and why I want to stress over and over that the relationships in Signal Hill are not going to be "traditional" or particularly tropey in any way.

It's not that I'm not happy to have people be interested in my characters, and of course I'm well aware that the light-skinned skinny gender conforming male character is going to wind up being the most popular in an IF (though I am not remotely happy about that fact, but that's another discussion entirely), but more that I'm just a little overwhelmed by the disparity. Obviously I love all of these characters, but Doc just isn't very important to the main plot? So the sheer difference between him and all of the characters you're expected to spend most of your time with just makes me feel weird. Have I not done a good job of "promoting" the other characters? Have I not made their stories sound interesting enough? That's something I've historically struggled with a good deal. I have to hope that folks will still be interested in pursuing the story even if they aren't interested in playing out a romantic scene with the characters they're siding with.

The thing I'm trying not to do is change the story because of outside influence like this. I don't want to make any characters more or less important because they're more or less well liked, and I don't want to change them to pander to an audience who otherwise wouldn't be interested. That also means not changing characters like Doc or the plans I have for him out of concern that some people are going to treat the actual game as secondary. Just like I don't want to pander to an audience that wouldn't otherwise be interested, I can't go around changing things out of a reactive fear that I'm unintentionally pandering to those people.

It's difficult, though, because from a practical perspective, does that mean the time I spend writing a scene with Doc in it is inherently more valuable than the time spent writing a scene with KC in it? Is there a point where few enough players will be playing those scenes that it becomes wasted time to write them? When I write variations into those scenes, how likely is it that nobody's ever going to read that string of 200 words? I'm not sure, but it is something I think about, especially when cutting down on wasted work in gave development is something I'm actively learning about in college.

Sorry, wow, this has been longer than I expected! I'm going to try to do a good amount of writing tonight and just focus on making progress. I'm trying to avoid feature creep, but I've just come up with a fun little collectible mission that I couldn't not add, and I need to do a little bit of coding to finish it up. Thank you for putting up with my rambling, if you've read this far.

#does this count as incoherent rambling?

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wattpadgirlll-blog · 5 years

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The First “Chapter” in Shattered Reality

The First Prologue

On a planet that is surrounded by many friends, and one that orbits around little moonlets and baby-stars, there are three magical kingdoms. Planets in the Universe are many, but the one that one may focus on just now looks, really, a bit like Earth.

Blue, with large blobs of green - very simple, except for the facts that there are rather many strokes of lemon and orange and ivory. Those are just the birthmarks of the planet; why, when the Planet was first created, the birthmarks stood out bumpy and uneven; but, after millions of years, they have melted into the ground, which is where one can now experience the magic in its original form - not shrunk, not made simpler - just not messed with, all in all.

The Kingdom where everything takes place is called "Consilii" (in Latin) - or else "Resourceful", in English. It may seem peculiar that a fantasy kingdom would steal a word from typical "Earth" - but the fact is that the Consiles - the people that live there - do have a bit of an inkling of "Latin", for it is most important, and is taught a little bit at school where the young Consiles go.

Consilii has four main islands; Dragnia, The Triplets (people always counted The Three as one small island, because of their vexingly-small size), Ruthenium Picke and the respectable One Without A Name, also known as "The King".

Dragnia is an island where dragons roam all they like; there are many birthmarks there, but they are all very small, unlike the ones at "Ruthenium Picke" (known as "The Island of Dark") and the One Without a Name.

Dragonia is often thought of as "The plain one" in the whole of the Planet, because of how simple and wild it is; full of trees, rocks, and a little town named "Ludovic", named after the hero of dragons - or else the first Consile to ever tame one of those beasts. Mind, dragons aren't always horrendous!

The Triplets are simple also - just carefree little islands, where people live - rather, people who just want to get away "from the magical life" and spend the rest of their days in sweet air, perfumed by daisies.

Ruthenium Picke is much different from the rest, however; that was where the King of Darkness was born. But that was over a thousand year ago. Nevertheless, goblins still prowl in the night, and there are plenty of cursed castles, all in ruins, selkies, and many other nightmares.

Now, for the last "part" - The One Without a Name! That is where the capital of Consilii is - right in "City of Tilla". Nobody knows where the name had originated from, but no matter - peasants and normal townsfolk that lived in Terese Town said that Tilla was the richest; it had a castle, and many rich manors flecked all about. But really, one only had to befriend King Martin to get the trust of his wife, Riley (quite an un-royal name!) - and then, they can move in, poor peasants or not, for the Royals are friendly, and rather very dangerously naive! The people that live in The Corner Village don't know much about Tilla, or Terese; because, as one may have noticed, it was away from both of those "marks", and instead built at the corner of "The King". Fisherman said they were content with what they got, and I think so, too. Candidly, The Corner Village isn't all bad, save for the fact that it's over a hundred kilometers from the "Place of the orcs", where the respectable, muscular, long-faced, man-eating monsters still live to this day. Also, The Corner Village often feels cold, for it is right by the "Great sea", and it is a fact that many a - or most of the - Consiles like the cold.

Oh, but of course it shouldn't at all make sense for it to be very cold in the East, eh? The thing is that the Planet - and not only that - the whole one hundred and twenty-three planets! - aren't very, so to say, logical. Not quite yet, however. Being in the twenty-first century means nothing to the Consiles, if one talks only about them - why, they don't even have an inkling about what "a year" means. To them, there are no "decades", save for the "centuries" and "millenniums" and so, so on - to them, on their wrong, peculiar planets, there is only time - "time to make time", as one greatly worshipped poet said, somewhere in the ninth century, if one slips back into normal human language!

And so back to the peculiarity; one must notice that, since the planet is often horribly wrong, that the gods choose to turn chilly or send bright beams of sunlight down upon the Planet only when, well, they feel like it. Other times, the gods and occasional goddesses (for being ignorant of real "rights", females on the Planet are still believed to not be capable of much) lean over the clouds to gaze down upon the Planet, and cry, and laugh, and tear their hair (if they have any, mind) as they follow the lives of different people, all at different times of day and night.

Not to believe in the "Upper" people is a bit of a woe - a sin - for most Consiles, actually, to be frank. It is almost a rule to be Catholic, and to strongly lean on religion as a friend that never ceases. For the unfortunate type, it seems awful to have an "undying friend", and if a mother scorns her child for not reading the bible, it is always heard in the community the stern words from the pale-from-rage lips, almost unmoving, "You will go to hell, my dear, when Life flies out of your vain knuckle!" or something of that sort.

It, strictly, is not necessary to believe - and to trust - "Those Upper" people, whatever the priests may say. As once a boy, clad in grey, torn clothes said to his enraged father - "Dad, you see, you say that the Upper-ers can fix anything! And you told me that a priest is a kind of church minister, did you not? So it is by law the priest's job to mend things like the Upper-ers if he worships them so, is it not? Well, why don't you blame HIM for not fixing my clothes after I jumped into dirt just to save a caterpillar? Oh, and now I tell you - those priests know nothing! Nothing!"

Twenty years later, the boy, named Eddi House, became the "church minister", for he seemed to have forgotten what he had said only two decades - or rather, "some time" ago. But until his barbaric father died, he always came to him at evening to hit him and say - "You know nothing, son, nothing, nothing!"

Nevertheless, being Catholic is not bad, and even if one little rebel gets an occasional scolding, often for the rest of their lives they carry the hopes of going to "Heaven" if they rightly behaved or else, if were excellent all their lives, become one of the "Upper" people. One day, some time ago (actually, it was ten years previously!), a poor peasant's wife saw her husband die and then, a few months later, said that she saw him smiling at her, peering over the edge, looking very young and happy.

But one had to be clever, cunning, sly, bright (in the sense of being smart), positive, determined motivating and strong-minded to get Up There. However, it is unlikely that any of the Consiles were as perfect - in that sense.

For an interesting fact, there were already twelve Upper-ers, eight of which were men and four were women.

There is Mistress Snowdrop, the fragile young woman with falling white hair over her albino face. Nobody knew where she lived before she came to be one of the Upper-ers, but many still think she is from one of the Triplets, being very slight and tender, and seemingly built of love and health and the breath of the wild. Surely her name wasn't such a ridicule before - rather, it was Stephanie Daphen.

Then, there is Lord Pebblar, a man with a scruffy black head, the same moustache, and very wide, very expressive eyes of the tints that are the colours of the birthmarks of the Planet; orange, white, yellow. And so if one stares into them for long... well, somebody once said that they would get paralyzed if they looked into the two pools for too long - into the pools that sun cut through one, slicing the air with malice - or that was at least the "somebody" said.

Next was Lord Merge, a stout old man with long greying hair and a fantastical look about his blue-veined face.

Forwards on the list, Mistress Stone, the seemingly stony (pun intended, if there is one) thirty-year-old of dull lips and high cheekbones.

Lord Labestar, next. He was the most cruel, surely! He had piercing eyes, just like his brother, a twisted little mouth and a bumpy face - in the means of "full of zits". And not one could describe the droll look of his unimpressive, shallow eyes - not one. Not one except Pebblar.

The others aren't worth mentioning - actually, surely they are, but one gets the point from the first Five, yes?

Now, moving onto hell: when a woman speaks sternly to her child, saying they were to go to hell, she does mean "Ruthenium Picke", if she is one of the Consiles. The truth is, that every kingdom has an island, all evil, flowing with dark blood. It is the mere believe that after life, if one is bad, then they are sent to "Ruthenium Picke" (again, if they were from Consilii). But the beliefs were so strong (are, perhaps, still!), that they drive the people mad if they really put their mind onto being good and if one unfortunate cully someday spills "Sap wine" on their suit, then of course the poor man feels restless and ashamed until they die! Fancy, such a little thing!

Sap wine may be brought up now, just as well. Now, sap in Consilii is a sort of bitter, round yellow seed dotted in crimson that is said to be very good for the body. It also tastes nice - very nice - when introduced to wine; because the slight grape effect, mixed in with the tongue-biting flavour, may make a rather good lunch; just say one had been kicked out of their home for, why, doesn't that happen really very often? - and one stopped in front of a stall in one of the markets to buy some Sap wine from a fat little seller (generally fat, they are, with no offense meant, because every once in a while the seller sneaks a bite or a sip into their mouth, building up the habit bit by bit), and then took a sip while hurrying to work. Well, it is very hard, the wine, and tends to stay in one's stomach for quite a while afterwards because of the "pressure".

Another national food is red cheese, which one must not describe, and let another know that the one thing that makes the cheese so red is the blood of an orc.

One must also be rather interested why orcs don't live at Ruthenium Picke. And the answer is simple; they just like The King, with all its healthy grasses and plants and soul-healing (pardon, if that is no word!) rains. It was a long, long time ago that they had moved from Ruthenium Picke into the mountains! And the mountains are very small, but they are very steep and sharp also, mind, that they never could be mentioned on the Official map of Consilii. Because it can only display large, major items!

Now, of course there are other magical folk that live on The King. For an instance, the Djinns, living five hundred kilometers from the "Corner Village", are really very jolly and proper and good! Old little men, going on about their daily jobs, bringing back their wives and kids food. The only thing unnatural about them is that they, of course, can make one's wish come true. Just like that, one must assure the other!

Then, second-lastly, are the pixies. They live in the "castle" ruins, with sharp, pointed faces, mischievous natures and playful habits. Usually, they don't disturb one - unless one promises them blackberries and brings none. It is deathly to mess with those!

Finally, there are the sirens. And after this, one never must say that The King is all good!

Mind, they aren't the everyday lovely, friendly mermaids - no, they are the sirens; the ones that live in the "Singing waters"! One is most likely already familiar with what they do - sing, sing, and then take those poor sailors down to the bottom of the ocean to rip off their heads. However, it's not only sailors that they take down there...

And so, this is Consilii - in all its glory!

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allurascastle · 7 years

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There isn't any shame in being upset about somebody who's harassing you. I'm sorry you're going through that. I hope everything works out with the restraining order, or that that guy just leaves you alone in general. Take care.

Aww, thank you! It makes me feel a little better for you to say it, I just…really hate having emotions and being effected by things. Boo.

Admittedly, I’m 60% sure most of my response to this is because this isn’t the typical kind of creeping. THAT I can deal with just fine. This is…wow. Just downright unsettling. (And the conversation we’d been having immediately before the one that sent me into fight or flight mode really just makes the whole thing worse.)

This dude, who I’ll from now on identify as Logan, was someone I first met in early May if I had to guess. It was before Ethan was sent to jail.

(Context of Ethan: he’s one of my two older brothers, who are twins. He is very much the problem child of our family, and is the one getting into legal trouble and drugs all the damn time, is abusive, self-centered, and delusional. Overall: awful person and has done enough shit to warrant me saying he deserves the life sentence he may very well be getting. Back to the story.)

I’m not sure why Logan was in the infant’s diaper aisle, he didn’t grab anything and just tried chatting with me, but he recognised me pretty much on sight (in retrospect, my name isn’t a very common one and we wear name badges, he could have pieced it together from that - and I say that because it was a little too fast for having been three years…or maybe not) as being Ethan’s sister. I say “tried chatting with me” because the second someone utters Ethan’s name, I’m all but gone. I hate him and want nothing to do with him and hia fucking friends need to leave me alone. (But I was at work, so I said “yes, now how may I help you?” and then left with “good night, I have work to do.”)

At the time, I assumed he was one of Ethan’s recent friends. He goes through them like toilet paper, as you’d expect from a serial abuser, and is really great at convincing him he’s great and swell. They never listen and frankly, 8 years of no one listening to you will just have you throwing your hands up in the air and saying “go get your fucking self esteem ruined away from me, idgaf.”

Now…Ethan has this habit of talking about us (the family) and showing off pictures (last I checked), so I chalked it up to that, fumed, angrily ranted with a friend and moved on.

Saw Logan a few other times. He asked me how Ethan was doing once and I angrily snapped “I don’t know, I don’t talk to him.” To which he responded: “that’s a shame, he’s a great guy.” I had no answer appropriate for my workplace so I just walked away from the fitting room with none of the items I intended to put away. I think I saw him one more time before this most recent* time, but I don’t remember any of it.

*the most recent time would be earlier today, 9/24, but I am actually referring to the incident, which happened around 8:10PM on 9/19.

So…the incident. It started off innocently enough - and at this point, I should mention I had bad vibes about this dude already, but brushed them off because he obviously wasn’t neurotypical (which made me disgusted with Ethan, but I wasn’t shocked), I’d guess on the autistic spectrum if I really had to: just the way he talked and seemed to process things.

But so, I figured it was good ol’ social ableism and told myself “you’re better than that” and was friendly with him bc a) it was my job, b) I had no reason to be rude but if he brought my brother the fuck up again I was GONE, okay, GONE. I ain’t here for that shit. I like my life drama-free. I should ALSO mention that thos whole time, spanning a few months, I didn’t know his name AND I was under the assumption he’s the one who turned Ethan into the troopers for the Rikki fiasco, and in my eyes, that was a bit of a redemption most Ethan’s friends would never get.

I really wish I’d just…listened to that bad vibe and gtfo of dodge. At first, he strolled up to Fitting Room while my coworker, an older gal named Sharon, with a cart of Halloween decorations and said he was just in the store buying some Halloween stuff and proceeded to tell Sharon about what he was going to be for Halloween, emphasising that it was the scariest thing he could imagine (turned out to be a “dark Flash” from Flash a few years ago. Idk bc I’m not really into superhero TV shows or movies. Doesn’t sound scary to me, but whatever. We all have different things that really spook us).

We somehow got onto the subject of a kidnapping that’d happened in the area, and from there some dude has apparently been reported watching female employees leaving at night from the parking lot (creepy, and I didn’t know that, but I also get picked up because I don’t have my licence yet). And from there, I mentioned some things to do in that sort of situation, and the conversation shifted towards the subject of kidnap AND rape (he mentioned that it happened to his friend’s niece when she was thirteen and that it broke his heart. This is the only thing that really sticks out from this part of the conversation and for a reason).

Sharon leaves, and Logan starts talking about his relationship woes and saying how when he’s around girls he likes, he gets flustered and starts pouring his heart out - and mentions a specific time he did this with a long time female friend of his and he starts bemoaning about how the friendship they’d had for so long was just gone. (I politely asked him if she had reacted cruelty, because - and I SAID this - there was no reason for the friendship to be gone since she didn’t reciprocate, after all she wasn’t obligated to. He said that she was but…the way he said it sounded Bad.) And then onto cheating (I told him no one deserved to be cheated on while trying to edge away, because dudes getting onto the friendzone is a huge red flag, and then going onto cheating? B y e) and he mentions he caught his recent* fiance cheating on him (and specified that he caught her walking up to some dude. Er…I hoped I was just missing some context from that, but I’m not giving the benefit of the doubt on it).

And then. AND THEN he says this: “You know, I was really into you a few years ago, but your brother said not to try because of the age gap.”

My alarm bells were already going off, but my blood went cold as ICE at this.

I’m eighteen, a few years ago I was fifteen. I hadn’t EVER met this dude, and I commit all of Ethan’s friends to memory so I can avoid them. Also, nice hypocrisy, Ethan (Rikki is either 14 or 15 right now. He’s in jail for dating and fucking her).

Let me emphasise I THOUGHT THIS WAS A RECENT FRIEND OF ETHAN’S WHO HAD SEEN A RECENT PICTURE OF ME AND RECENTLY BEEN TOLD ABOUT ME

Now, back in 2014 before Ethan moved to Anchorage, he did not live with me and my parents, and we were living in one of my dad’s friend’s cabin. He lived with my grandmother a decent way away, and were were pretty fucking livid with both of them. So he only got to come over to see his kids when we had them, bc their mother had a restraining order, but even that didn’t last bc - well, he was abusive and homophobic and screamed at my TODDLER NEPHEW that he would not have a gay son…when all he did was put on a straw hat to get giggles like his sister.

So yes, I have never met this dude. I didn’t even know his name until he mentioned going to grade or middle school with my sister in law (I…am not sure how he knew my other brother was married, that happened THIS year) and her brother, who he called by…well, I’ve only ever hear this brother called “RJ”. I was a little shocked and mentioned it, and he mentioned his name and how he wasn’t called by it much anymore either. I completely forgot this until I was in the car on the verge of crying again to Susanne.

“You know, I was really into you a few years ago, but your brother said not to try because of the age gap.”

Like. I’m going into panic mode as everything I’d thought is being challenged. (I vaguely recall in our conversation with Sharon, him mentioning how much he hates pedophiles and me asking if he was the one who called the troopers on Ethan than, and even after a short summary he maintained he wouldn’t “do that” to Ethan… Also at some point we established he was terrified of my parents, and after that night he has a very good reason to be.)

I don’t remember what I said. I just remember trying to leave again but a customer came by and I had to let them in the rooms because I had the keys, and policy states I can’t leave with people in the room, and Sharon has the radio with management on it.

He then asks me, while I am effectively trapped there, if I believe in fate. “No.” I said as curtly as possible.

“Well I do, especially when it comes to love.” I LEGIT WANTED TO FUCKING DIE. I WAS CRINGING SO HARD. He went on to say something about how love’ll happen of it’s meant to and…

The customer left and I told him I had to go do my job and took off weaving through apparel.

I think I saw him head towars Halloween (the front of the store, where he presumably got the shit in his cart; what brought him over in the forst place was apparently a discarded shit and it drives him nuts whem those get left around by other customers). I didn’t have a radio to find out where a manager was, but I booked it to Customer Service to hunt a CSM down.

I told her, came up with a code (code alex) if I ever needed to be saved from a similar situation. Not even an hour later I was still so nerve-wracked and only getting more anxious as I was there until 10 but Sharon was leaving at 9, that I went and talked to an ASM. Or tried. I staryed crying on the phone with her so she sent me on a break, and I started to break down again talking in the office. She sent me home early at 9:20 PM and told me to contact management if the dude showed up again.

My sis talked to her on Thursday about the guy, since she knew his name, but I don’t remember what Susanne said was the outcome bc I didn’t work Thursday and The ASM wasn’t there today. (I did have to tell another ASM who had me call the police, who recommended me to go get a stalking order after he stopped being stupid.)

Another ASM heard while he was back there and offered to walk me to my car, and hung around for a little bit when I told him I was being picked up. I know he told my sis he’d walk me to my car of I ever needed or wanted someone to, so that was a relief.

TODAY I saw him briefly right after I clocked in and was on the salesfloor talking with my coworker E. He tried talking to me but fight or flight kicked in and I noped all the fuck the way to Mark, who had the radio, and then hunted Jaime down with E walking with me.

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