#this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too

[gibbearish]

so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe

#especially when youre far too lazy to dig up sources however if u google passive suicidal theres a lot of info #pretty front and center altho you will get jumpscared by the size 1000 font suicide hotline number #or maybe you wont but i sure was. why was it so big #in this house we simply post both as part of another hashtag relatable post in the hopes that the two for one bargain #will entice viewers to read the whole thing and go 'wait but /i/ feel like that what do you mean' #and then make a meta joke about it in the tags so the viewers think we're hip and cool #nah but seriously i see ppl not knowing abt this . so much and every time im like !!!!!!! no youre not crazy youre not supposed #to feel like this!!!! #so its one of the things where im like nah idc if im being annoying abt this as long as i hit the one (1) todays lucky 10000 who needs it #this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too #and like obviously all of these have exceptions right like. ppl can just want to start a whole new life for non suicidal reasons #but if theres a pattern of these things or you find yourself being drawn back to one over and over again thats #when you should start being like ok somethings afoot #like the imagining ur future one you could easily have trouble visualizing things or even just Not Be Especially Imaginative #...or... it could be that deep down you dont feel like you /have/ one so your brain just. steers away from the subject entirely #and ykno. knowing which one it is is usually pretty helpful LOL #anyways. sorry theres no paragraph breaks i could not for the life of me figure out a good spot for them #/suicide #/suicide mention #/suicidal ideation #/depression #/death mention #and of course i think also like a lot of things this is more of a spectrum than a binary like obviously 'run away and #start a new life' is def a bit less active than 'id be ok w it if i didnt wake up tomorrow' but theyre still both on the lassive side #passive* #eugh im rambling now and not even in the slightly contained way the post itself is #im hitting post without rereading for the 40th time otherwise ill remember another tangent so if theres #any errors left my apologies

[enlitenbbh]

I was tagged by @blomkvits, thank you for tagging me so much these are fun :)<3 (saw you had tagged me in something else a while ago but i havent been on tumblr on my laptop in ages :/ )

1. Who was your first bias and who is your current one? V or Jin from BTS I guess, but I’ve never really had a bias in BTS

I hopped from the BTS hype train and had EXO thrown in my face, and Baek is my bias but i really love all of them and they are all beautiful and talented and etheral

2. Why did you get into kpop? boi my friend has been trying to get me into kpop for YEARS and I’ve always been really put off with how obsessive the fans seem and all that (still have a lot of issues with a lot of things tbh). This spring she tricked my dumb filmstudent ass into analyzing the mvs for I need u, run & young forever, just to see if i could make sense of them (i couldnt) and well i got sucked into the dark abyss that is kpop

two weeks later bts walked past me in stockholm when they were filming bon voyage and i wanted to die  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. If you could join any kpop group, who would you choose?

Red Velvet looks like they have a lot of fun! or maybe TWICE 

4. If all your biases proposed to you, who would you pick? they deserve better lmao

5. If you could be in a fanfic, what genre would it be? angst. i want to cry in the rain and yell into the void

6. What mythological creature would you be if you had the chance?

MERMAID!!!!!!!!!

7. Supernatural!au or Mafia!au

mAFIA

8. Which kpop idol would you switch bodies with? T.O.P because i too want to drink expensive wine while i look at art in my million dollar house

9. If you could have any idol as a pocket sized companion, who would you pick?

a little Chen to brighten the day

10. What idol would you want as a sibling? can i please have jackson wang?

11. If you were able to say five words to your bias, what would you say?

eat healthy and rest well lmao

And I was also tagged to do the Get to know me tag

Get to Know Me Tag Part 2

Countries I’ve lived in: Sweden, England Favorite fandom: there are very few fandoms that i can stand, but i have founf a small portion of EXO-ls that are funny and nice and stay away from drama Languages I speak: swedish and english  Favorite film of 2016: dont do this to me omg…10 Cloverfield lane, Civil War, probably others but i cant remember any rn D: Last article I read: it was about the air pollution in London and the limit being breached just five days into the new year.  Last thing I bought online: EXOs love me right repackaged album ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   Last person I dreamt of: I havent been dreaming anything i can remember lately A recurring dream: I dont know if this counts but i once dreamt several days in a row that hollywood made modern, gritty and hyper realistic versions of Pippi Longstocking. i remember one time she was a futch lesbian in a leather jacket, and another time her horse was her motorcycle, and her monkey was her gun ?? Phobias / Fears: i have a weird, deep rooted fear of people who paint their faces with face paint, and people in big costumes. so naturally clowns terrify me and im pretty sure id faint if i ever saw a furry How would my friends describe me: loud If I had $$$ to spend what would I buy first: id pay of my damn student loan fuck

Shuffle your song library and list the first 3 songs that play:

Halsey - New Americana

BIGBANG - Bad Boy 

Seinabo Sey - Pistols At Dawn

I tag anyone who want to do it :)

#tagged in

[itschassed]

Planned Parenthood Proposal

For my research project I have decided to take a look into Planned Parenthood. Initially when I think of planned parenthood I get a negative feeling towards it because of the way the media and others have portrayed it towards me. But how do I know that all that information is true? I have lived in a pretty conservative state my whole life and maybe that could have impacted my opinion on Planned Parenthood. With this research project I will start by going on about the background of planned Parenthood and how they were able to come to surface, Dig deep on the objectives they had when founding the organization and their goals and ambitions. Another topic about planned parenthood that I want to immediately touch on because I have had questions about it for a while now is, that whole scandal that happened where doctors were experimenting with unborn fetuses/zygotes/ embryos. That subject would be probably the biggest chunk of this research project because I know there are many sides and stories about it that are very controversial in today's society. Next with this project I want to go deep into the things that are beneficial about planned parenthood and what they are doing to change the world. But I can't go on about the good without going on about the bad. With these two, they are completely opinion based from other people that voice their thoughts about the subject and also mine of course. 

With the research part, I want to first take a look into Planned Parenthoods website and see how they want to portray themselves and try to come to a consensus of what my initial opinions are about them with their website and how it's laid out for everyone in the public to view ( I have never seen the planned parenthood website ). Then with other parts of the research I want to use and cite credible sources, like looking into unbiased articles or books and those who are written by people who actually know what they are talking about. For some Primary sources I can use some of my friends and interview them. One in particular had gone to Planned Parenthood for treatment and getting his opinion on the planned parenthood subject could be very beneficial. Also id like to get a take from a friend I know that is in med school and what he thinks about the government funding planned parenthood and how he feels about what they are doing/ offering to people in today's society. 

For an accurate response to Planned Parenthood I think that it would be ideal to conduct some type of survey where it will ask basic questions about planned parenthood and then I can take those results and apply it to my research for example: X amount of people think the government should provide funding for planned parenthood and Y think otherwise. Also it would be interesting to have a text box or a verbal response on why they chose what they chose because its essential to gather that information that we can see what and why people are so opinionated on this subject. There is no better place to conduct this survey than at my current job. There are so many different religions, races and values that are shown at that place and it would be great to get most of my coworkers hot takes on this subject. 

This topic is very important to discuss in today's society especially for people between the ages of 17-25. Lets face it, everyone pretty much has sex but there are people out there that dont actually know what some of the risk factors are of unprotected sex. This is why this is such a great subject to research and bring to attention because, being a kid who was born and raised in Utah all my life I never had any sort of sex ED class. The only thing I can remember is in 6th grade we got the birds and the bees talk and in 8th grade health class they talked about it a little. No where did I hear that I can potentially be treated for an STD and hear the risk factors of having unprotected sex. More importantly to help educate the people who were like me and didnt have a good knowledge of what STDs were and that it's completely normal to get it treated and taken care of. Also to prevent the spreading of any type of STD to other people because you weren't comfortable with getting treated or you didn't know what to do. Planned Parenthood offers these types of services and could be very beneficial to people who are looking to treat it.

In conclusion, I personally think I am more than qualified to research about this subject because merely I have been skeptical about this topic for quite a while now, and have always wanted to know everything about it, but nothing ever gave me that drive or purpose to dig deep into this topic till I got the opportunity to write a research paper on any subject my heart desires, so no brainer I had to write it on PlannedParenthood. This topic is so fascinating because one, Its medical related. I am majoring in Health Administration, and looking into this topic can really help me gain a knowledge of the side of things where STD prevention does take place, the controvercies of abortion and certain ways to fund osmething like this. Now second, This is such a controversial topic that there is no way that someone couldn't be semi-interested. There are extremists that go to all ends to protest and hate on Planned Parenthood and there are others that are the other way around that are so passionate about this subject that they can go to every extreme that is possible to support what they are doing. There is so much information to take in from just one simple subject that you could write about infinitely, and that's what we're going to do.