#this took me 2hrs to make btw it's 9am for me now

[charascarlet]

‌so imagine some kind of void entity, but anthropomorphic (in my brain it looked like deoxys from pokemon - but like ink-black with little white/glowing accents)

‌it sends you falling through different random scenes (think like scrolling on tiktok or something, but around you and you're not the one scrolling), and you have to choose related options in a list as fast as you can/within a time limit(?) (but there's nonsense and gibberish options so you can't just mash through, but you do that anyway because you don't know how this works yet and you're already panicking)

‌it takes your list, shakes it up and adds stuff without you knowing, now (maybe falling/moving through the same scenes again?) you have to add meaning/choose other related options to those in the list, which proves very hard when at least a third of the list is gibberish. you also have to avoid the options in the list the entity added, which are made to be believable (and you don't know it has added them)

‌of course you mess up, because how could you not? the best definition for brilliant in your list is a bowl of chips, and of course you don't remember adding your cats cuddling or a salad with carrots to the list, but you didn't even notice they were there, your brain seemed to think that these options made sense among the rest (that you chose in a rush, remember), so you ignore them.

‌i can't stress this enough, but you're in a constant rush and your brain is constantly filled with images corresponding to the scenes/words in your list, so it's really hard to think straight and you keep messing up, but the entity is just toying with you. after all, it made the original options in the list, and it reveals it added some options that you foolishly chose! you can't win, you could never win, not when you don't know the rules of the game you're playing your life on! you didn't even know how you could win! the entity starts laughing.

‌it just explodes. and you die.

and that was part of my dream last night :D

yeah. here's some added context cause the dream as a whole was hilarious. or just weird. idk.

‌so at the start(?) of the dream i'm at a ski resort (it's summer. wtf) with my friends and parents (or just my dad? i don't know) and well. the "ski resort" is more like a video game dungeon without enemies. think maybe like stone tower temple from majora's mask? but like icy. so with less empty space and puzzles and enemies in the middle, with lots of ice and snow and stairs and cold metal pipes for some reason and. you know. not upside down-able.

‌there's slides to go down that stem from the sides of the building, and stairs covered in snow inside to get to the rooms (yeah cause it's a ski resort. remember. nevermind the fact that you know. the snow and cold are inside as well as outside). think like grand staircases and rooms all around.

‌cue encounters with a bunch of my friends about 'oh wow you're here too! who else is here? been enjoying it so far?' etc etc. and a race against the clock that looks suspiciously like the goron race in majora's mask (though that might've been in another dream, idk). and also an incident with one of the metal pipes that run along the walls but whatever. that's not the focus of the dream.

‌my room is at the end of a staircase, my dad's room right next to it, at the end of a corridor on one side is a series of smaller stairs that lead to a friend's room. said friend is kind of a nerd (read: completely obsessed with videogames, but i am too so uh. pot meet kettle), dad is too, though a different flavour of nerd (tabletop games, he plays bloodbowl which is like fantasy american football with lots of violence, very fun) so we go over to his room to play videogames cause fun so why not!

‌turns out his room is an actual boss battle arena. we are already inside a videogame. his room has a boss battle that gets rerolled each time you retry (read: die and come back). first boss rolled is a queen gibdo knock-off (yes i have been playing too much totk don't judge) but like. metal and snow instead of bug and sand yk. we die. we wake up in our rooms. rush to my friend's room to see if he's ok cause yk. his room is the boss arena. we get there, boss activates, same boss gets rolled, i think we win this time? idk

‌then we decided to roll the boss a third time. for funsies. the symbol on the wall that indicates which boss is being rolled turns ink-black and shows a sparkle design. i hear my friend mutter curses ('worst fucking boss') under his breath

‌boss appears. see first part of the story for the rest of the 'boss battle'. my dad and my friend are actually here too i'm just too focused on panicking to notice them yk.

‌that explosion from the boss that kills us at the end? it looks like a time bomb from totk. i promise i'm not insane about this game.

‌also right after the explosion i promptly wake up (at 7am. I wanted to sleep in :( but oh well) to write everything down cause yeah. weird-ass dream but i wanna remember it so yeah

tl;dr: my dream last night was some kind of boss fight against an entity that looked like deoxys but in black colours and that killed me for not noticing everything :D

#my brain is very normal #also? this dream was like a one-off thing but uh. sometimes my brain creates dreams that are sequels of dreams i had when i was like 8. oop #so yeah this turned out a bit longer than i expected but hey that's what i get for trying to explain the chaos that is my brain #this took me 2hrs to make btw it's 9am for me now #scarlet rambling #scarlet original post™

[bo0zey]

my friend who doesn’t have adhd and just wants an adderall perscription: i definitely have adhd like i never pay attention and i’m such a procrastinator omg lol btw i’m at the library studying and doing homework that’s not due until 3 days ugh what are you doing have you started studying yet we have those worksheets due tomorrow remember and it’s already 6pm! omg what do u mean u haven’t started the paper yet it’s literally due in 3 hrs omg no it’s ok i’ll just send u mine bc i’ve been working on it all day haha and omg i’m trying to pay attention to the lecture can u stop talking to me why r u reading online manga in class the exam is in 2 days pay attention! also i need caffeine to stay awake i love monster energy drinks they work so well i won’t be able to sleep tonight oh no also i took adderall 3hrs ago and now i’m super anxious but it’s not the adderall lol ugh i won’t be able to sleep tonjght ughh

me, someone who actually has adhd, pre-diagnosis: studying is so hard and i don’t want to do it and i literally can’t until hours before the exam and by then i’m so exhausted bc it’s like 3am but if i drink coffee or monster or bang i just get sleepier also i procrastinate entire research papers including the research hours before the due date even tho i knew abt the paper for a month and i wrote it in my assignment notebook every day knowing i needed to do it and i drink coffee before bed bc it relaxes me n makes me sleepy im constantly moving and shifting in my seat in class and i got paid 4 hrs ago and bought $500 worth of amazon products and now i don’t have any money for groceries for the next 2 weeks my thoughts go so fast and they’re so loud i can’t follow a conversation let alone a class lecture paying attention to anything i don’t care abt but am supposed to is impossible if i don’t write everything i need to do down i will forget about it and if i put my keys or vape or anything somewhere besides it’s designated spot for 1 minute i will literally forget where it is and if something isn’t directly in my line of sight i will forget i have it so i have to place everything in my line of sight for me to remember to use it and ok i’m at work i have a 14hr shift and a set of tasks i need to complete omg i’m so overwhelmed and frazzled i write down the list of tasks every shift and check off boxes to remember to do things but even then i still fall behind and why am i overwhelmed i know what i have to do please don’t ask me to do that thing i’m already trying to remember to do one thing ahhh ok i’m so exhausted it’s 12am and everyone’s asleep i have 3hrs left of my shift omg i’m so bored and tired ok i will have coffee and an energy drink to wake up bc i don’t wanna fall asleep here and i have an hour drive back home and oh wow i am now driving on the way and dozing off i am so sleepy sleepy sleepy why can’t i stay i awake i had 300mg of caffeine like 2hrs ago i’m going to crash the car why isn’t this energy drink working and hmm ok it’s now monday night i have school tmrw it’s 11pm i guess i’ll try n sleep i have class at 9am oh wait what is this sudden wakefulness i feel i am very awake i think i will maybe try to do homework to get tired actually no i think i will go on the internet instead hmm look at those cool show i think i will watch it ugh ok that was the longest 30min of my life i will not be able to watch another episode for at least 2 days probably oh it’s 3am i need to sleep but i can’t shut my brain off ugh oh no this sucks i hate myself why can’t i just get my shit together i know what i have to do but i just can’t fucking do it it’s so frustrating i’m trying so hard but i keep self sabotaging why why why

me, after being diagnosed w adhd and starting medication: wow for the first time in 8 years i’m actually paying attention in class and actively following what my professor is saying. i think i will do some homework now so i am not overwhelmed later. uh oh my dishes are starting to stack up i think i will clean them instead of starting a new pile. hmm my room is getting a little messy i think i will put things away including the clean clothes on that chair i’d been avoiding putting away for a week. i am following our conversation and i will wait until you are finished until it is my turn to speak instead of blurting out or interrupting you. oh i just got paid! hmm do i really need all of that online shopping stuff..? i think i will wait for a little bit and come back to it if i rlly want it bc what if something happens during the week and i need money to pay for it? oh i have to go to work it’s a 14hr shift; i am able to complete the tasks i need to do with ease bc i know what to do and when to do them and am no longer overwhelmed. i don’t need to drink that energy drink bc i know it will just make me more sleepy and i’ll doze off at the wheel on the highway and i don’t want that! ok i’m home yawn i think i will try n go to sleep it’s 11pm and i am genuinely tired.

#like just say u want an adderall perscription and go don’t fucking claim to have adhd its so invalidating to ppl that actually have it #and then she has the nerve to say i don’t have it when i literally check off almost every symptom and she doesn’t even actually check off 1 #also my mom had it and my lil brothers also definitely have it like it runs in my family no one in hers has it #it’s just so frustrating and invalidating bc stimulants honestly changed my life im so grateful #and she’s like lol how r u going to have adderall n NOT give it to me wtf our other friend does and im like bitch because #you and that other friend don’t actually fucking have it that’s why she’s so willing to give u her meds #but i literally need mine to function on a daily basis #also ever since i started adderall my DPDR is waaaaay less prominent now like i barely have episodes anymore unless i’m in a depressive epi #ok sorry rant over lol #ramblings #actually adhd