#this was nice thooooo gave me a chance to really put down ny thoughts about that properly

[mistyeyedbi]

RANDOM OC QUESTION FAIRY!! how easy/difficult was it for zuri to make the decision to turn, and was there anything in particular that swayed her choice?

Oooh this is a nice question, thank youuuu! I haven't gone into too much depth when it comes to her turning, but I always knew that it's the bounty that pushed her closer to wanting to turn.

When it was just Murphy they had to look out for, it was easier. She was definitely traumatized by him (she got bitten on the wrist), but she managed to help catch him at the end. But now she has a whole lot of people to look out for, literally anyone could try to cash in on that bounty and she'll be damned if she has to live the rest if her life looking over her shoulder.

So Zuri's definitely leaning towards a yes, but there are two things stopping it from being an easy yes. The hypersenses and the possibility of staying with unit bravo forever (in this point in time its not something she planned on doing, as much as she adores them).

Lol this is getting super long, you've got me ranting! I'm gonna put it under a read more💀

Hypersenses (tw: mentions of food and being starved)

1. She has a weird relationship with food. After what happened during her early childhood (the new nanny's form of punishment was depriving her of meals, and she was stuck with her for a year before she convinced Rebecca that she didn't need one anymore), the thought of not eating and having to learn to control a hunger for blood makes her anxious. I mean this girl always has snacks on her and there's a stash in every room in her apartment (yes, even in the bathroom💀). It's a habit she picked up during the year with her nightmare nanny. To not need to do that anymore is just...unfathomable to her.

(And yeah, if she stayed with the Agency, the blood thing won't be an issue since the vamps get blood packs of some sort, but that hunger doesn't necessarily go away after that. And oh my gosh if she ended up like Nate who didn't get as much blood as the others even though he needed just as much? SHEESH)

2. If you've read enough of my fics, you'll know that Zuri can't stand silence. She likes to be surrounded by sound, whether that's music or the chatter of people. To have that become something that overwhelms her freaks her out. Maybe even more than the food thing does. She likes musicals and concerts and carnivals and packed restaurants (yes, packed restaurants). It helps her live in the moment and gets her out of her head.

If she sticks around Unit Bravo long enough, she'll learn that silence doesn't mean that someone is annoyed she's there or that she's alone, and that being alone doesn't have to be a bad thing (something else she learnt from the nightmare nanny). But that brings us to our next problem doesn't it?

Sticking around isn't her thing.

Staying With Unit Bravo

It's not that she doesn't want to. She does, and that's what scares her. It's only been a few months and she's already so attached to them. The longest time she's stayed with someone is a year, and what is that to an immortal?

She's sure that they're gonna get tired of her. She'll no longer be this new, interesting thing in their lives, she'll just be there. And that rarely ends well.

It's the reason why she doesn't feel angry at Adam when he avoids her after the fireworks thing. It gives him time away from her ("absence makes the heart grow fonder", harder to get tired of someone you miss) and gives her time to think about wtf she's doing lol. That's not to say it didn't sting though, she definitely isn't as bold as she was in book 2 when they're around each other in book 3.

(I have a separate universe where my two detectives Zuri and Lucille are best friends. Lucille (and Tina, actually) is the only person she can stay with for a long time because she's already seen her at her worst. Worst as in back in college when she was Bobby's right hand man and was manipulating people left and right.

She isn't sure if she wants UB to know about that because that isn't who she is anymore. Telling someone about her manipulative past has made them question her in the present. It changed the way the viewed her, knowing that her charm and people skills have been used in a way that hurt people. She doesn't want anyone else siding eyeing her)

I feel like I'm going off topic💀 My point is she doesn't want UB to feel like they're stuck with her for eternity.

So, yeah. She's leaning towards yes but is very conflicted. I think she'll turn a little later on in life. (And if she dies before then? As long as she's not alone when she does, she'll be fine👀)

#this is so long holy shit #me: i haven't thought about zuri turning in depth #also me: writes an essay about zuri turning #this was nice thooooo gave me a chance to really put down ny thoughts about that properly #tw food #tw eating stuff #oc: zuri jackson #twc detective