Episode 14- “i hope this isn't the beginning of the end for me”-Kevin
HAHAHAHA UGH, I feel so bad right now but.... at least now I think I am GOOOOOD with everyone on this island and I can kind of figure out who I want to vote with next week. Next I think Autumn should go because she is a big threat and I feel like maybe I can get Kevin and Juls to vote with me for her now that Joanna is out of the picture. Also now that maybe I have earned Lily's trust again she will too. I seriously do feel like such a villain right now, frick.
10 minutes later
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT TO FINAL 6!! I'm really sorry Joanna, I just really needed to get myself in a good position with all these people left so I can kind of decide which way I want to take things next round. Kevin and I are talking about maybe getting Lily to vote with us to get Chips or Autumn out. I never really thought that Chips was much of a threat but with his immunity win he might be one.
so Joanna just got blindsided, that's not fun, if you ever read this Joanna I love you and you're so good and you didn't deserve that. Basically ruthie backstabbed our alliance because she thought we were playing her, which I can understand to a point, the day was abnormally quiet, so if there was ever gonna be a round where she was blindsided it would be now. BUT WE WEREN'T !! like we were all genuine and honest with wanting chips out and it seemed like the easy vote but ruthie complicates everything.. AGAIN. I love her but she is kind of all over the place, i never know when to believe her and then she came into our chat with juls/me/her and came forward about it and was honest which was nice i guess. At this point I can't trust chips or autumn at all and i think they feel the same way as me, so i need to work my social game and make sure ruthie knows i TRUST HER, i also need lily to know i want to work with her going forward and that i've been trying to be HONEST, i even told her I was voting for chips and that was the only name i heard. And then we could have gone after autumn next round like SHE pitched to ME. nothing goes right when i'm immune, but i feel the need to keep winning even though it will grow the target on my back. being on the wrong side of votes is such a blessing in disguise, i can milk this and try to spin it like im completely out of the loop and boohoo thank goodness i won immunity, i think in a game this crazy the last thing people are worried about sitting next to in the end is someone who seems like they needed challenges to be here. I think Lily and Autumn are the biggest THINKERS in this game, i think they know what they're doing and why they do it and that's scary. Ruthie is an acter, no i didn't misspell that, she is just someone who DOES, i think moves are brought to her and she decides whether to do them or not, a middle man of sorts. I've played like her many times in the past and now i know why people were frustrated with me, it's a frustrating style of play to deal with if you're not the one doing it, because you can't ever really rely on anyone. Chips and Juls are breeds of their own (respectfully) Chips is a full on goat but he's a goat for autumn, not really anyone else, i think they both need to go home before the final 3 for my game to work out in the end. Juls is special, juls is a social player through and through she gets in your good graces and then she settles down there, makes herself at home, eats your food, and kinda just lives there. No one ever really wants juls out, would taking juls out be helpful in weakening people? absolutely, but people don't wanna do it. My thing with juls is I don't think she's as big of a thinker as other people (juls if you read this i love you to death) she's smart thats a given but when it comes to the game i think she resonates more with the style of gameplay as ruthie, but not as ruthless or are messily, she's kinda consistent the whole way through. I think I could sit next to juls and feel like i outplayed her at the end, but if i sat next to like her and ruthie i think i could outtalk them too. BUT IM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF, i think my gameplan going forward is to simply oversell my loyalty to to both ruthie/juls and ruthie/lily but specifically RUTHIE, i want her to feel like i feel like i need her, because i think she's less likely to flip on me if thats the case. I am trying to pitch the duo of autumn/chips as the biggest threat in the game rn and even proposed to ruthie we go to finals with lily to lessen the perception of me and juls being close. There's very little margin for error here but i have played my heart out and i think whatever happens from here on out i will be content with, i hope this isn't the beginning of the end for me but whatever happens happens. ok this is extraordinarily long for being 40 minutes into the final 6 but woo! I am glad i made it this far and all that i have accomplished, feeling like im writing my obituary but i wont just give up !!
Good thing my life doesn't depend on wizards chest i don't know what the fuck i'm doing, LOL
40 minutes later
I can't believe I'm staying up late to get this competition over with, LOL. I still have no idea what I'm doing but I'm starting to get a little better sense of it? I'm having long drawn out conversations with Lily, Kevin and Chips all one on one and not really about that game so that and my coke are keeping me awake, lol. I feel like Juls is mad at me and I need to reach one on one instead of just in our alliance chat but for now I'm just not going to worry with it.
1 hour and 30 minutes later
I LOOK SO DUMB FOR LOSING THAT, LOL! I had no idea what I was doing but apparently when I took my last move Chips told me I could have gone to A1 and set myself up for the win. UGH. I am seriously so dumb and mad at myself for not winning that. Juls is the Ron Weasley of Wizards Chess and I am... stupid, LOL.
I GOT IMMUNITY BITCHES! *peace sign* but um.. hehe.. i don’t even know what to say! after enduring so much SHIT these past few round from losing my allies, no one talking to me, and the lying that occurs straight to my face. but i think i finally take breather and i’m so content.. i’ve never ever made it past 6th place so the fact that i’ve secured my spot in 5th makes me so happy!!! i’ve only played one survivor org before this so it makes me wanna cry with how proud of myself i am HBSBZN i think i could really pull this shit off.. maybe. i’m not getting my hopes up too soon.
The vote actually went through successfully with Ruthie, Lily, Autumn, and myself voting out Joanna. The other three votes fell on me - not surprising! The next immunity challenge was semi-live and it was Knight Moves so I made it my whole objective to make sure Kevin was eliminated. In a perfect world Juls would have also been eliminated... but we don't live in that world and Ruthie accidentally gave her the win for the challenge. This round will more or less decide if Kevin is the clear person to go on to win the season. If he gets voted out with no advantages played then it's anyone's game. If someone else (very probably either me or Autumn) gets voted out without an advantage he wins the game. If an advantage is played and Kevin stays then it's still probably his game to lose, but there's a little more wiggle room on my jury vote. Hoping everyone is wise enough to knock out the clear and obvious winner at this final 6. If they are not they are either playing for second or third.
I would just like to say that all flaming should not be taken personally as I constantly contradict myself from video to video lmao and the only person I haven't flamed at this point is Chips so https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ct6kYHHfeBI3ngTJJWdpF6Bikn14qjzP/view?usp=sharing
But also I could get idoled out?? So enjoy the confessionals while you have em ya know? I'm booked and busy these quarantine days haha. Insecure is back, I'm playing a main, I need a full time job, the list goes on. So vote me or don't. Go to rocks over me or don't. Call my bluff or don't. None of it will hurt my feelings and that's on period https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sG_CW_FU724v92eAPu4Qa3L53LyNMFvN/view?usp=sharing
I feel like Lily really has something up her sleeve OR I'm going to somehow get blindsided tonight. Kevin made a group chat with he, Lily, Juls and I and all Lily said in it was 'hi' which makes me think something is up. I just want to be in on the plan if there is some kind of a plan. Kevin wants to do a 2-2-2 vote which I'm not sure is a great idea and I'm just worried that Lily cooked something up so that Chips and Autumn vote me out with her. I think Kevin IS a bigger threat over me but it is hard to tell what other people think. I also asked Lily if Autumn does use an advantage should we go after Kevin then and she didn't really answer? I don't know, I have four messages right now so I'm going to see what I can gather. I kind of asked again and she IGNORED THE QUESTION A SECOND TIME. I smell something fishy going on right now..... I guess I'm scared that she ratted me out to Kevin but we'll see, lol.
25 minutes later
THIS is exactly how I feel anytime I end up getting voted out. Flushed face, lack of conversations going on around me and just... general shadiness all around. Like, you can FEEL when it is going to happen. SOMETHING is definitely up.
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