#told my professor it was my first time doing a ceiling blueprint and i took hers as a example but still had no idea what i was doing

[arcannathedraconequus-blog]

Captain Underpants Fanfic: Melvin and Professor Poopypants. Ch2

  Link to part 1: https://arcannathedraconequus.tumblr.com/post/162369963513/captain-underpants-fanfic-melvin-and-professor#notes

((Story description:) A few days after their defeat by the two boys and Captain Underpants, the still shrunk Professor Poopypants seeks out Melvin and asks him for help getting back on his feet.)

Woo! I did it everybody! I finished chapter 2 of the fanfic! Read it under the cut.

However it isn’t long before Melvins spooked sprint through the house is stopped dead in its tracks, as a feminine voice shouts.

 “Melvin!!”

 As he passes an open door, causing him to immediately freeze in mid stride, Poopypants still held out in front of him and struggling to breathe in the tight grip, as Melvins gaze slowly turns to the door, which opened into a mostly dark room, save for a single bright overhead light that directed nearly all its glow to a table in the middle of the room, casting unnerving shadows and silhouetting the rooms occupant.

 In the room, was a middle aged woman in a white coat and black gloves, though her facial features were too shadowed to make out. She was seated, but had her head and torso turned to stare down Melvin from across the room.

In front of her was a table covered in circuit boards, delicate machinery, and the tools that would be used to work on them.

 She started to rise from the chair…

  Melvin, beginning to get his wits about him, quickly shoved Professor Poopypants in one of his pockets and tried to look innocent, rocking back and forth on his heels with a guilty smile on his face.

“Hello mother…”

 The figure came into the doorway, revealing more of her features, starting with a mop of orange hair the same shade as Melvins, and a pair of big magnifying goggles that almost looked like little telescopes strapped to her face, though she grabbed the outlandish gear and moved it from her eyes to the top of her head, showing another pair of square glasses underneath and a lightly freckled face.

 “What are you doing outside your room! You should know better than to be going around making all this racket! You had better have a good reason for abandoning your studies during your designated homework time young man.”

 “Well I, Uhhhhhh…”

 Down in Melvins pocket, after having spent a few moments comically gasping for air thanks to having had it nearly choked out of him, he ever so carefully and quietly peeked out of the pocket to watch, readying himself in case he would need to make a break for it.

 “I’m waiting.”

Her tone showing how increasingly annoyed she was becoming with her offspring.

 “Ive…”

Biting his lip, he makes a quick glance down at the tiny professor in his pocket.

 “I… need to go down to the garage to… cross reference my available materials to determine my preparedness for an unexpected extracurricular opportunity.”

 She looks unconvinced.

“…Mmmm-hmmmm, and you couldn’t do this earlier to avoid being an obtrusive nuisance to the household?”

 “It was… a bit too unexpected for that.”

He responds, refusing to meet her gaze.

Her eyes squint at him in a judgmental stare, but she relents, putting her goggles back on and heading back in the room to her work.

 “Fine, but don’t let it happen again! And if I catch you stomping through the house like a crazed elephant again, there will be consequences!”

She sits down picking up a soldering tool and gets back to work on a circuit board, giving off a bit of smoke and flashing light as she worked.

 A forced, uncomfortable smile on his face, Melvin stiffly takes a few quiet steps down the hall until he’s out of view and earshot of the door.

And he lets out a huge held breath, bracing himself against the wall with one hand and continuing to pant and gasp in as hushed a tone as his racing heart and trembling body would allow, barely able to believe he had just done that!

He had just been deceptive to an authority figure! He had (almost) told a lie to his own mother! In order to protect a wanted criminal no less! He didn’t know if he could take much more of this.

 The professor, having stuck himself halfway out of Melvins pocket, looks at Melvin’s attempt to contain his panic with an expression of slight worry.

 He thinks to himself for a moment, considering Melvins history of tattling on others and recent desire to turn the two of them in to the authorities. It’s clear that being even mildly tricky and underhanded would be more difficult for the young boy than perhaps it should be. He may have to play this more carefully than he was expecting.

He soon comes to the conclusion that perhaps some positive reinforcement was in order.

 “Good job Melvin!”

 Melvin pauses in his panting, his gaze turning down to look at the tiny professor, who he’s shocked to see is giving him a double thumbs up from his pocket, along with a twitchy, forced smile.

 “…Really?”

Melvins mood quickly lightening at the praise.

The Professors fake smile growing even larger and more forced, with him beginning to sweat as he says through his teeth.

 “Yhah… you... totally did it.”

 Melvin rises, a smile returning to his face as he stands tall with confidence, which soon turns into a self-absorbed and cocky expression as he starts to cheerfully strut down the hall, with a whisper of

 “Alright professor, let’s go see that garage!”

 Poopypants lets out the breath he had been holding, slumping against the rim of the pocket and clutching his head in one hand as he says to himself.

“Uggh, I can already tell this is going to be so much more difficult than it has to be.”

 Now that he was a bit more with it, Melvin is able to carefully sneak down the stairs and the rest of the way to the garage without being noticed.

 Taking the professor in one hand once again, Melvin opens the door, revealing a large 3 car garage, that otherwise could have been considered pretty spacious…

If it weren’t full of shelves filled floor to ceiling with sci-fi-esk technology and  blinking, beeping scientific doohickys, with all additional space being filled with tables and workstations for all manner of scientific endeavors.

With a majority of it having that jury-rigged feeling of having been cobbled together from random junk and whatever broken machinery a genius fourth grader could get their hands on.

 “HAH Hahhhhh! Now we’re cooking with plutonium!”

Professor Poopypants shouts, rubbing his hands together with glee, before turning to the boy with an exclamation of

 “Melvin, Blueprints.”

 Melvin obliges, handing the professor the rolled up blueprint from earlier, and lowering his hand to the ground, only getting about halfway before Poopypants hops off, quickly unfurling the too-large paper, and with cartoon impossibility, pulling the nubby pencil from earlier from out of his coat. Before trotting down an aisle between two shelves with considerable speed, attention darting back and forth as he inspects its contents, and Melvin following close behind with an excited smile on his face “This is where my parents and I keep almost all our spare parts, so if we've got it, it'll be here. But if we're still missing anything, there's a scrap yard down the road which we can also check. That's where I get most of the materials for my inventions.” “Good to know Melvin, wh’ell head over there first thing after we finish taking inventory here. Now let’s see…. ve’ll need this one.”

He says scampering to an unrecognizable little gizmo and dragging it out from the bottom shelf. Melvin soon picking it up and trying to inspect it, but not having any time too, as Poopypants quickly pulls out another gizmo with a shout of

“And this one.”

 Throwing it at Melvin and almost causing him to drop the first one to catch it.

 “And this one.”

The stumbling having made Melvin fall behind the quickly moving professor he has to jog a bit to go grab the new thing Poopypants had pointed at, while poopypants climbs some random junk like it were stairs in order to reach a shelf more at Melvin’s eye level and continuing to walk along it, still holding the blueprint out in front of him and occasionally placing checkmarks by items on the list.

“And zhis one, and this one, ooo zhis one looks fun!  And this one… and those two”

 “Over here?”

 “No, top shelf.”

 And Melvin pulls over a rolling staircase, putting down the growing pile of items and quickly ascending to grab the two bits of machinery, only to find them to be heavier than expected, making him considerably slower and more wheezy coming back down, while the professor continues on, up until it reaches the point where Melvin says.

 “Professor, I can’t see what you’re pointing at.”

 Turning around for a look, he sees Melvin, his face hidden by the large pile of materials he struggled to carry, his knees wobbling under the effort.

 “Ughh...fine.”

The Professor replies, marching over to Melvin as he folds up the blueprint and stows the nubby pencil in his coat, before he jumps off the shelf and onto the pile of things Melvin was holding.

 “Let’s drop these off at the table and then see vhat else we can find.”

 “Sh-sure thing professor.”

Melvin replies shakily, before slowly making his way over to the table, each step Melvin took requiring considerable effort under the weight and size of the load.

 Making it to the table, which was flanked by an impressive looking glass chemistry set full of differently colored liquids, he dumps the pile onto it, Poopypants gracefully riding the cascading pile down before he’s able to jump off onto the table itself. Smoothly unfolding the blueprint again and starting to pace back and forth; tapping the pencil against his lips a few times thoughtfully and saying,

 “Already off to a good start Melvin! Good start….”

 Catching his breath and wiping sweat from his brow, Melvin smiles at this as he watches the professor pace back and forth, clearly still enjoying himself a whole bunch,as he can barely contain his excitement when he replies.

 “And I bet I can still find a lot more things we can use! What else do we need?”

 The professor smiles and lets off a little chuckle seeing the boy so happy, reminding him of himself during his own childhood when he was excited about a new invention

(and let’s be honest here, well into his adulthood too, cus Poopypants is excitable and hyper as shit even to this day despite being in his early 60’s)

He fluffs out the paper and scans the page.

 “Well let’s see!.. do you have a toaster?”

“uhhhhhh, no.”

His mood dampening somewhat at the first missing part.

 “Cassette player?” “...no.” “...Ummm, extension cables?” “Yes!!” Melvin shouts, running off then coming back with an armful of extension cables

“fuses?”

Melvin holds out a large Tupperware container full of them, lightly shaking the box for emphasis.

 Tron-splitter?”

Melvin pulls a sheet off a large machine in the corner revealing a large ray gun looking thing

“Check!”

 “Ooooo, was not expecting you to have that one! How about an Axionic reconfigurator?”

Melvin sets a pretty large and complicated looking contraption onto the table with a heavy thump before stepping back and saying proudly

“Got that one for-my-birthday.”

 “Quantum resonator?”

“Dad’s got one downstairs in the basement.”

 “dDuct tape?”

“Yeah, but you can never really have too much.”

“Ooooo, yhah, good point Melvin, I'll just put us down for some of the other basics just in case.” He says, jotting a few extra things to the list.

 “Telescope?”

“Ohhhhhh, do I really have to disassemble my telescope?”

“Well, we need more than one, so we’d probably have to go get a few more anyway, so I’ll just leave it on list.”

“Thanks professor!”

Melvin replies as he runs off to go grab some more things

 “Crypto-magnetizer”

“No, but if we combine the crypto-recombobulator and the re-magnetizer we could probably make one!”

 “Excellent! How about Tesla coils?”

Melvin gestures to a big set of sparking and zapping coils in the corner of the room.

 “Hmmmm, smaller”

 Melvin pulls out a pair small enough to fit in the palm of his hand from behind his back.

 “Larger!”

Poopypants motioning with his hands in imitation of something growing in size

 Melvin picks up a medium sized set of tesla coils from a table

 “PERFECT!!”

 Time skips forward, the pile on the table getting larger and larger and Melvin getting more and more tired, until he's leaning against the table, propping up his head in one hand and staring off into space through half lidded eyes and mumbling yes or no every time professor poopypants lists off another part or material. Until he’s startled awake with Poopypant’s shout of

 “Hah! That’s the last of it! A few quick trips to pick up the missing supplies, and we’ll have all we need to make the most basic forms of the shrinking and enlarging machines!

Oh no, wait. Heh heh… I feel silly even asking about this one, but you have a lava lamp right?”

 He says, tapping the paper with the end of his pencil for emphasis.

 “Lava lamp? Hmmmmm, nope. No lava lamps.”

 “WHAT! But they’re like the most sciencey looking lamps there are! How can you be a child genius and not have at least one lava lamp?!”

 Melvin just shrugs. When gets a frown from the professor.

 “Fine, but when we go shopping, we’re getting 2.”

Poopypants writing that down on the blueprint as he started to walk towards the edge of the table as he continues with,

“One for the enlarging machine, and for you to keep…..So I can feel less embarrassed hanging out with you.”

 He says that last part as he hops off, using a pile of stuff near the table as stepping stones to safely make his way down.

 “Now, before we get started, I want to reiterate zhis Melvin. These rays will not be like the sizearator 2000. Zhey will still be very bare bones, need constant repairs, and will no doubt break down after every use like a cheap lawn mower. Zhey will be neither safe, nor reliable, and zhey certainly won’t be efficient! These things are gonna be killer on the electric bill, that’s for sure.”

 “Well, *Yawn* it wouldn’t be the first time one of my creations has caused a blackout. And it probably won't be the last!” Melvin still managing to stay pretty excited about all this despite how drowsy he appeared.

  “That’s the spirit Melvin!” Though the professors tone turns more intense and ominous “But I want to make sure this gets through your fragile little child skull. Don't get cocky and start humoring silly ideas of making your own sizearators behind my back once im gone! This is very dangerous technology, messing around with it all villy-nilly could be potentially catastrophic!!! And even if you were somehow able to start safely replicating zhe technology on your own, then it’d mean you’d either out yourself as having worked with me, vhich could get you in trouble and make things even harder on me because of it, or you’d be taking credit for my inventions.” Though his tone lightens a bit as he continues with “Which is really just a jerk move in general Melvin, don’t go trying to steal another scientist's glory.” “*Yawn* sure thing professor. You can *yawn* count on me-WHOOPS!!” As Melvin walked towards the tiny professor, he suddenly trips on one of the piles of spare parts that had grown on the floor after the space on the table had been filled, which then started a small chain reaction, causing even more things to fall loudly to the floor with metallic clattering, with Poopypants having to leap out of the way to avoid being crushed in the mini avalanche. Melvin quickly scrambles to his feet and motions like he’s gonna try and grab some of the parts that were rolling away, but freezes when he hears the sound of the doorknob rattling. Someone was turning the handle from the other side! Melvin having hardly a moment to react as the door is suddenly swung open with a bang! Though unlike Melvin, Poopypants is able to quickly leap behind the nearest shelf and out of sight just as the threatening figure came into view. It was a middle aged balding man in a white lab coat and glasses, who was aggressively brandishing what was clearly some sort of laser-weapon, which sparked ominously and casted the man in an intimidating mad-scientist strobe light sort of glow. Though a look of realization appears in his eyes as he says in a questioning tone, “Melvin?” Before lowering the weapon, all hints of intimidation quickly dissipating as he turns off the ray gun and sets it down on a nearby shelf, revealing him to be a very benign and mild seeming man both in looks and in tone of voice, with what hair he had left on the sides of his head surrounding his chrome dome being a light brown, and his glasses appearing very similar to Melvins. “I thought we might have been getting burgled, or at least that the raccoons might have gotten in again. What in sciences name are you doing out of your room this late?” Melvin takes on a surprisingly confident and proud of himself tone as he replies back, “Mother gave me permission to use tonights homework time to work on an unexpected new extracurricular activity in the garage.”   Though his confidence is quickly crushed with his father sputtering back with, “H-homework time? Son it is 3 hours past your bedtime!” The father collecting himself more, crossing his arms and taking on a more scolding tone “Even if you did somehow manage to get some unexpected permission to allow for a temporary change in your schedule, that is no excuse for t-this level of irresponsibility. How will you be fully prepared for school tomorrow when you’re missing 3 hours of sleep!” “I actually don’t have school tomorrow, it's closed for the next 2 weeks at least...” “That’s no excuse!!”

  Poopypants, having taken the long way around, stealthily peeks his head out from behind a nearby shelf, dashing across an opening to hide behind some debris on the floor, thus closing some distance between him and Melvin. The father then grabs Melvin by the hand and starts to pull him to the door. “Now you are going straight to bed young man!” Though Melvin resists for a moment, motioning back to the spilled pile of parts and pleading. “But I have to reorganize the pile!” “It’ll be there in the morning.” The father replies with disinterest as he picks up his hefty ray gun, giving Poopypants just enough time to dash out the door and hide before Melvin and his father pass through and close the door behind them.

"Honestly Melvin, I don't see what could get you to fuss over some side project like this. Did you somehow fail to plan ahead for a school event?" “No.. it’s not for school...”

“It’s not even for school?!”

Melvins father shouts as he reaches the stairs, still holding Melvin by the hand as he leads the boy up, with Poopypants darting close behind him. The tiny professor comes to a pause at the base of the stairs and looks up at what might as well have been a mountain before him, giving him a sense of vertigo at the intimidating scale of the obstacle before him. Holding his face in one hand and letting out a sigh of frustration, he then sets himself to the task and starts climbing after them. “Is it for a science show outside of the school?” “No.” “Are you c-competing in a contest for a future scholarship?”

“No. But it is an excellent learning experience!” Melvins dad facepalms and let out a bitter sigh. “Melvin, your whole life is a carefully structured learning experience. Meant to give you and the family the highest overall quantity of success in the scientific and academic fields as possible.”

 Poopypants manages to make it up the stairs, panting and stumbling a bit with the effort, and having to brace himself against his knees for a moment to catch his breath, before taking a light jog to a nearby doorway to hide in, leaning against the doorframe and still panting lightly as he peeks his head out just in time to see Melvin and his father reach the door to his bedroom.

"Is this some hormonally driven bid for independence Melvin? Do we have to take precious time from our busy schedules to set up another lecture about the irrationality of pre-teen rebellion for you?"

“No..no?” “R-really? Because i would have expected better from you than to stay up past your bedtime working on some random, non-academically motivated invention like this.”

“But... it’s important.” He says meekly, which causes his father to stop and let slip a boisterous laugh.

“HAH HA HAH hah hahhhh.... Important!? Melvin, important inventions are for the adults. You only just turned ten years old, you’re not nearly capable of creating anything worthy of being called Important yet! And not one of those frivolous, j-juvenile inventions are worth disregarding the carefully calibrated schedule your mother and I have set up for you.”

 Across the room, Poopypants is shocked at what he just heard, but that surprise quickly turns to seething anger, with his face turning beet-red and his tiny hands slowly balling into shaking fists. Melvins father then carefully shoves the dismayed boy into his room, who turns around to stare timidly up at his father as he fidgets with the hem of his sweater vest. “Maybe once you’re in college, then you can start thinking about staying up past your bedtime working on inventions. But for now, I don't want you to open this door until you’re scheduled to do so. Understand?” “Yes sir.”

“Good.” And he closes the door maybe a little too forcefully, causing Melvin to flinch a bit at the impact. The boy then turns around glumly, and walks slowly to his desk to tidy it up, his eyes downcast and dragging his feet as he moved. Making it over, he starts smoothing out and stacking the blueprints he had been working on, along with stowing away his various drafting implements like rulers and calipers, when he hears a very small, but forceful knock at his door. He immediately jolts to attention like someone who had missed a step walking down the stairs. He had forgotten about Professor Poopypants!! He hears the undersized knocking again, this time sounding more angry and forceful, and he rushes to the door, reaching out his hand to turn the knob, though he pauses with hesitation. His father had specifically told him not to open the door until the scheduled time tomorrow morning. His hand shakes in place a few inches from the doorknob, unsure of what he should do, but steeling his resolve, he closes his eyes and looks away, and grabs the doorknob to turn it.

#captain underpants #professor poopypants #melvin sneedly #fanfiction #fanfic #tippy tinkletrousers #sfw #movie au #Tiny megalomaniac bonds with a humorless nerd