#tw for uhh depression and anxiety and eating difficulties in the tags if you read them

[lilyaceofdiamonds]

I really hate how much my brain hates to do new things sometimes

#oops i’m ranting in the tags apparently #tw for uhh depression and anxiety and eating difficulties in the tags if you read them #i made it to the door of a cafe two blocks from my flat #i’ve walked past it a dozen times in the six months i’ve lived here #and the menu looks good it’s coffee and breakfast foods and sandwiches #and they have donuts from a donut place i like #but it’s in a building with like three doors right next to each other and i didn’t know which one it was #and now i do bc i thought to check the address online #and made it to the door but it looks small and there were People there because it’s like noon duh #and i couldn’t see if there was more table just by peeking through the window while trying to look like i wasn’t peeking in #so i stood a foot away from the door and then left and went to my normal coffee place one block in the other direction #but i still haven’t gotten FOOD which is … not great i haven’t eaten anything in a couple days #i mean i had chinese food that i split between sat and sun as my lunch at work #but i should probably eat something but i’m tired of only going to the chipotle near safeway or the pizza bar which isn’t open yet anyway #which leads us back to i hate my brain and i’ll probably just end up getting chipotle again #but there are so many local restaurants that i want to try!! but i’m so picky about food while also hating to ask for modifications #and i used up most of the energy today dragging myself into the shower for the first time in dayss #and i need to do laundry and go grocery shopping and do the dishes and and and #and i’m still fucking exhausted even though i passed out on the couch last night and didn’t drag myself out until like 11 am #and i have work tomorrow so laundry NEEDS to happen because i worked eight days in a row and have zero clean work clothes #and i can hear my stomach growling at me because coffee was not enough and i know better and i’m really not trying to starve myself to death #but goddamn i just don’t want to have to do anything #i hate this #why brain why #mental health: deteriorating #my ramblings