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thefreakandthehair · 20 hours

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I just wanna see that smile

wc: 1.1k | tags: canon-compliant injury/recovery, hospital setting, getting together, (brief and inferred mutual) pining, first kiss

a/n: happy (belated) birthday to my pal, @firefly-party! kei drew this piece last year and it was one of the first artworks we talked about when we became friends. this series has continued to live in my brain ever since, so I decided to write a little something in the universe!

Eddie woke up on March 26th, 1986 and Steve’s waited patiently for this moment ever since.

Well, patient is a misnomer— he’d waited quietly to anyone not named Robin or Dustin. Robin, because she knows him too well and there’s no point in trying to hide anything from her and Dustin, because he’d apparently grown up overnight and pieced together that Steve sitting at Eddie’s bedside and holding his fucking hand every time he waltzed into the room meant something.

Or maybe it was when Steve gave Eddie all of his rings back, sliding them carefully onto his shaking fingers with a comforting smile.

Or maybe when Eddie sat up unassisted for the first time and Steve nearly hit the ceiling, bracing him in a panic as if all of his stitches and staples would burst with the tiny movement he’d been working toward in physical therapy.

Hell, maybe it was Steve taking over some of Eddie’s care for himself, washing his hair and braiding it because the staff at Hawkins Memorial are doing nothing more than the bare minimum to make sure they don’t get sued, or even more frightening, reamed out by the new duo of Hopper and Wayne again. Either way, his hair was making Steve’s own scalp itchy.

Dustin never tells Steve what it was exactly that tipped him off but whatever it was, it’s enough for Dustin to give Steve the floor when Eddie’s getting ready to discharge back home. And that’s how, exactly two months later to the day from Eddie waking up, Steve enters Eddie’s otherwise empty room armed with a special treat in the form of milkshakes to find Eddie pouring over an unfortunately familiar stack of papers.

“NDA?” Steve asks, nodding at the papers in Eddie’s lap. He’s upright, fully dressed in the black sweatpants Jeff brought by and a cut off Metallica tee shirt, bandages around his stomach and neck.

Eddie mutters as he reads under his breath, eyes flitting across the page.

“How the fuck do they expect any of us common folk to understand a fucking word of this? Hereby? Wherein? Hitherto? What fucking year did I wake up in, man?”

“Yeah, I think the whole point is that you don’t read what you’re signing but I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Steve huffs a small laugh through his nose as he steps carefully around Eddie’s crutches. “You may as well just sign it because if you don’t, they’ll forge it anyway. Now finish signing your life rights away so you can have this milkshake with me.”

Eddie perks up, looking away from the mess of papers and smiling up at Steve with a smile so genuine, it punches the air out of his lungs. He keeps looking at him like this, like Steve’s a breath of fresh air, like he's someone Eddie wants to have around.

Steve isn’t sure what to do with that look yet, but he’s sure glad it’s there.

“Celebration milkshakes? Is this a freedom gift?” Eddie signs the NDA quickly and sets the pen down on the bed next to him.

“It sure is. Figured this could make up for all those lame popsicles from the cafeteria.”

The mattress creaks as Steve sits down on the edge, just to the side of the railing, and hands Eddie the strawberry treat. Their fingers graze, Steve’s chilled and Eddie’s warm. His hand is still a little shaky, trembling as he takes hold of the cup, but they’re warm and warm means alive.

Eddie’s hand can tremble for the rest of his goddamn life so long as it’s always warm.

They each take a sip, smooth ice cream slurping up their straws, and after a moment, Eddie sighs.

“Is it weird that I’m actually sort of worried about leaving?”

Steve’s eyebrows knit together, looking down at Eddie’s rings glinting beneath the offensive fluorescent lights above them.

“What are you worried about?”

“Uh, well, I did almost die. And the town still wishes I did. It’s a lot easier to make those dreams a reality outside of these walls, y’know? And I’m uh…” Steve watches as Eddie takes a breath and Steve suddenly misses the early days when Eddie was connected to the heart rate monitor.

“You’re…?” Steve presses, sipping his milkshake again to appear casual.

“I see you all the time here. Guess I just don’t want that to change.”

Steve’s heart skips a beat, clattering in his chest and pounding at his ribs, desperately trying to crack him right open and run to the man who’s claimed it. Eddie watches him with cautious eyes, opens his mouth to say something else but Steve cuts him off before he can take it back.

“Why do you think that’d change? Forest Hills is a lot closer than this shithole, and you won’t be kept under lock and key. And as for the first thing, well, Wayne and Nancy have a lot in common and I have a bat loaded up with nails in the trunk of my car.” Steve rests his free hand on Eddie’s knee. “No one's gonna fuck with you. Don’t worry about that.”

“You sound a little cocky there, Stevie.” Eddie lifts one eyebrow, glancing from Steve’s hand up to his eyes. “Ready to fight for my honor or something?”

“Yep.”

He hadn’t brought the milkshakes intending to use them as props, but he’s glad he has something to do to fill the space as Eddie watches him with questioning eyes. As he slurps through the straw, grating noise still preferable over the awkward silence, Eddie’s pinched expression turns softer, realization dawning between the stark white walls of the hospital and the pink ice cream in both of their hands.

“You’re serious.” Eddie says.

“Took you that long to figure that out?” Steve teases.

“I’ve been a little busy with learning how to breathe and walk again. Y’know, just little things.” Eddie rolls his eyes with that same fond smile, free hand lacing its fingers through Steve’s. “So what you’re saying is that I’ll see you just as much outside of this prison as I have inside of it?”

Steve shrugs. “Probably even more, honestly. There are no visiting hours at Wayne’s, and it’s not like I have a job to rush off to these days. You’re stuck with me, Ed. At least for as long as you want me around.”

Eddie snorts, unceremoniously scoffing in Steve’s face as if in disbelief.

“Don’t make promises like that. What happens when I never want you to leave?”

The air shifts, growing heavier as they find themselves leaning closer, two satellites orbiting one another by nothing but gravitational pull.

Steve’s not sure who actually closes the gap, but he finds himself with his lips pressed against Eddie’s— sweet, chilled, a little chapped but smiling against his. Months of waiting, of hoping that he’d get this opportunity, come to a deafening crescendo and it takes all of his discipline to not push. Instead, they pull apart and Steve smiles, tucking loose hair behind Eddie’s ear.

“That’s easy. I’d just never leave.”

fun fact: kei, I wrote your birthday down in my calendar as the 28th for some reason, a solid ten days late, so know that this was planned from the get-go but was just a tad bit late.

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfic #steddie fanfiction #steve harrington x eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #myblurbs

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hawkinsquarry · 16 hours

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all things must pass (steve x reader)

summary: steve makes you leave him at the end of the world.

contains: steve x reader; gender unspecified reader; no pronouns used for reader; post-st4; unresolved angst; probably too much swearing :/

i miss this guy and i’m feeling insane over him so have some angst with an ambiguous ending 🫶🏻

Steve’s feet feel particularly heavy when we steps across your foyer. And the packet he has in his hands feels even heavier. He brushes off a few specs of ashes before slamming them down on the table in front of you, lazily eating cereal.

“What the hell is this?” you ask after a moment, grabbing the ledger on top. You know immediately it’s an airline ticket. It makes you feel sick and you push your Cheerios away as your eyes scan the details.

FROM-TO

IND > LA

You want to fucking kill him but you don’t have a chance as he breezes past, grabbing your suitcase out of your walk in closet.

“You depart in twelve hours,” he starts. He recited it in his head the entire way over to make the conversation easier, but the words are hard to get out. “Only take your essentials. When you’re there, a chauffeur will pick you up and take you to the - the - the location.”

“Steve, I’m not fucking going -“

“Yes, you are.” He says sternly. Like you’re a child.

“I’m not going anywhere without you!”

And he know this was coming - this cyclical argument you’ve been having for the last three weeks, your tears, the lump in his throat, uncertainly fogging both of your vision. But it doesn’t make it any easier, any less frustrating.

He says your name low and quiet. A plea. “This is safe. This is where the - the - the people I know told me to send you. That it’s the safest place.”

“And we’re trusting those people now?”

“No. W-well, yes! It - it’s - just - trust me, not them. Okay?” He settles your suitcase on the couch and starts moving around your living room for things he knows you’ll need. A blanket. Medicine. “Anywhere away from here is better, anyway.”

“So you admit it isn’t safe?”

Steve sniffles. “I never said it was.”

You follow him to your bedroom where he begins ripping clothes from your closet. He doesn’t miss the hoodie he leant you a few months ago. It’s laid on top of your suitcase with more shirts and pants.

You grab his arm and try to force it to fall back to his side, but he’s too strong, god damn him. “Steve, quit!” you beg, digging your heels into the ground and tugging on him. “I’m not leaving, Steve. I’m not going unless you go with me.”

“We talked about this.”

As nauseam, in fact. Until the ache in Steve’s throat was excruciating. Until your voice was hoarse and you were heaving. He’s not leaving, and you are.

You tug on him again. “I’ll keep talking about it until you listen to me!”

He doesn’t say anything. Just keeps moving back and forth between your closet and the suitcase. You cry, as hard as you try not to. You really are like a petulant child, stomping your foot, throwing a tantrum. You feel like it’s the only way he’ll listen, but you know the reality is that he still won’t.

“What about me?” you cry. You’re so angry at him, want to say something that’ll make him hurt. That’ll change the expression on his stoic face. You find it in you to refrain. “What about us, Steve?”

Keeps packing. Head down. Jaw clenched tight. He was ready for this fight when he walked in.

“Steve, let the goddamn military handle it. Do - do you honestly think you’re going to save the world?”

“No,” he snaps.

“Then what?”

He doesn’t answer because you already know why. Because he can’t leave Dustin, and Dustin can’t leave El, because apparently she can save the world. And Robin won’t leave Steve who won’t leave Dustin who won’t leave El. And Nancy fucking Wheeler won’t leave Mike who won’t leave El.

It makes you feel insane. Your blood boils and spills over, and over, and over, and it never just depletes. You keep going, keep arguing, trying to talk him out of it until your voice is hoarse. It’s hoarse now, in fact. Last night Steve held you until you shut up, until you cried yourself to sleep, and you had no idea he had already got you a plane ticket out of here. You feel so betrayed it makes your stomach twist and chest ache.

“I can’t live without you,” you try. It’s the third time you’ve pulled this and it seems to get him the most. “Steve, I don’t know what I’d do if - if….”

Steve bites his cheek, stilling, his hands clutching one of your sweaters.

“Why don’t you care?” you push.

He sniffles again, pinches his nose. You’d prefer it if he’d just let himself cry. He’d give in, then, if he let his emotions take over.

“Don’t you love me?”

“Jesus, yes,” he grits, finally looking at you. His eyes are red. “Why do you think I’m makin’ you leave, huh? Why do you think I’m staying?”

“Because you think you’re something you’re not!”

He runs a big hand through his hair so harshly you fear it’ll get tugged out. He walks towards you, holding his arms out, murmuring, “honey,” and as much as it pains you, you back away.

“Don’t,” you say sharply. Your throat aches. “Don’t do that, Steve.”

“I love you.” He sounds exhausted. “I love you, please believe me.”

“If you love me, then come with me.”

“There won’t be a world for us to live in unless we stop this.”

“You aren’t going to save the world.” You’re so desperate for him to listen to you. “The chances are so slim, Steve. Why can’t we love each other while we have time?”

Steve takes a shaky breath. “I won’t let you die without doing something about it first.”

You stare at each other. It’s suddenly dawning on you that nothing you’ll do will ever change his mind. That his chances of living through the next few days are slim. That this is the last time you’ll get to see him. While he’s packing for you and forcing you to take a plane to California.

There’s nothing romantic about it. It’s not like what you’ve seen in the movies you rented from Family Video when Steve had a shift. Before he was yours. When you went because the forest green vest looked so good on him, and he always had some goofy recommendation, and he let his hands touch yours when giving you your change for a moment too long.

You’ve hardly even had him.

“So that’s it?” You can hardly hear yourself.

“I’m doing this for you. I’m doing everything for you. And - and i-if it works, I swear I’ll make it up to you. I swear, angel.”

You shake your head, hot tears making their way down your jaw. “No.”

He stills. Looks a little like a deer in headlights. Caught off guard, shocked. Mouth parting slightly before closing again, like he wants to argue but can’t.

What is there to say?

“If you make me get on that plane, Steve….” You shake your head again, swallowing the ache in your throat down.

You stare at each other again. His eyes are one of your favorite things about him. Those saccharine, chestnut and moss colored irises. They scrunch up when he laughs. You used to think about leaving Hawkins and moving somewhere nice, so far away from all of this that Steve grows up to have crows feet around his eyes. That you’d be the one who put them there. And this is the last time you’ll see them.

“You have to go,” he eventually sniffles.

“Please,” you try, for the final time.

He blinks slowly, frowning, chest rising and falling slowly. “I love you,” he whispers. “Please believe me.”

You’re not sure if you can.

#steve harrington x reader #han posts #steve x reader

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athenagranted · 2 days

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idk if you're still writing the post-cemetry scene fic with pining eddie (idk if i'm describing it right) but i would love to hear more about it/see a snippet or too if you feel so inclined 👀

someone asking about angsty pining fic in the month of our lord april 2024? this was such a lovely surprise 😭 i'm gonna be honest with u anon i'm likely not going to publish 911 fic again BUT because you asked so nicely i'll give you a few older snippets from my draft:

Eddie sighs, breaking the stare. “You have a key, you know,” he says finally. “Feel free to come join me whenever you want.” He turns on his heel and walks back inside to finish his goddamn brownies, leaving Buck standing in the doorway. It’s silent for a few minutes. He’s in the middle of measuring a tablespoon of espresso powder when Buck steps into the kitchen and shuts the door behind him. Eddie feels the weight of Buck’s gaze on him as he folds the powder into his brownie mixture, but he doesn’t turn to meet his eye until Buck speaks. “Is that…” Buck falters. He clears his throat. “Is that my recipe?” “Yeah,” Eddie says gruffly. “Chris asked me to make it. Said he wanted to share it with his friends when they come over tomorrow for their playdate.” Buck snorts. “Man, you can’t call it that. Chris nearly bit my head off last time I tried. Kept reminding me that ‘playdates are for kids, Buck,’ and that he’s not a kid anymore.” Buck emphasizes that last bit with air quotes, and Eddie can’t help but grin at that. But his smile fades instantly, remembering the somber look on Buck’s face when he’d opened the door. He highly doubts that Buck came over just to commiserate about the trials and tribulations of watching Christopher grow up. Eddie bites the bullet. “Why are you here, Buck?” Buck shifts nervously. He shrugs and looks away from Eddie. “I — I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to answer that. You’ve never asked me that before.” Eddie scrubs at his face. “I've never had to ask you that, Buck. Things are different now. You’ve been busy.”

+

“Wow,” Buck says acidly, all traces of heartbreak gone. “I’ve never heard that one before.” Eddie frowns. “What?” “Really, Eddie?” Buck’s voice cracks on the last syllable. He shakes his head. “Unbelievable. Just — unbelievable.” “Buck — what are you talking about?” “We were just trying to protect you, Evan," Buck mocks. "You were never supposed to find out. We kept it from you because we love you. Any of that sound familiar to you?” Eddie’s breath hitches on the word love, because he doesn’t know, he can’t know, but then — Oh. Fuck.

+

Buck: We’ll get through this just like everything else. I promise. It’ll be okay. Buck: Eddie, did you eat enough today? Should I come by and bring you some food? Buck: You know you’re still my best friend, right? That’s never going to change, Eddie. Never. He reacts with a thumbs up or a tap-back heart on most of the messages, too exhausted to do anything else. He replies with a thumbs down to the message about food, certain that he wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Buck so soon. He knows he’ll have to face him in person eventually, but his tired, broken heart just wants to postpone it as much as he can. The last one, though, is a balm that both soothes and agitates Eddie’s burning, aching heart, and he taps out a brief, Thank you, you too. Always, in response. It feels like too much and not enough all at once, and Eddie wishes once again that he was a little better at resisting Buck, that he didn’t feel that need to reply to his every message lest Buck worry even more about him. The only one he actually acknowledges is a message that comes in at 2:43 AM on Sunday. As he opens the message, Eddie absentmindedly wonders if Buck’s having a hard time falling asleep for the same reason as him. Probably. It’s a link to a new exhibit at the Griffith Observatory, accompanied by a text that reads: Can I take Christopher here next weekend? Eddie squeezes back tears as he replies with a brief, Of course, and puts his phone down, letting the darkness swallow him again.

+

Hen beats him to it. “What happened, Buck? I thought you really liked her. Weren’t you planning to introduce her to Maddie and Chimney next week?” “Not anymore,” Buck mutters. “I broke up with her.” “What?” Eddie snaps head snaps up. “Why?” Buck doesn’t meet his gaze, his lip quivering. The rest of their team is watching them, eyes darting back and forth, and Buck blinks hesitantly before swallowing down a sip of coffee. He wipes the cream off of his upper lip and looks Eddie in the eye. “You know why,” Buck whispers.

#i love sad men. also thank u for the ask btw it does mean a lot that someone was still thinking about this fic <3 #rae writes #fic: blue skies #answered #anon

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youledmehere · 3 days

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Why do you like Rick and Michonne’s characters? (love them too just want to know what you like about them individually)

rick is just one of the best male characters to ever exist. i like that he’s strong but he’s always a family man first and foremost. he would do anything for his loved ones as we’ve seen throughout the show. he’s also so sacrificial, and something about that scratches an itch in my brain. he’s still caring and compassionate despite having to do some of the worst things in order to survive. he’s perceptive, smart and his mind is just always working?? if that makes sense? like that man constantly has plan after plan no matter the circumstances. i also think he’s the best leader and nothing will ever convince me otherwise. he constantly makes the hard decisions and is always stepping up when no one else will. he also just genuinely cares about people still which in that world means a lot. he doesn’t let the power he has ever go to his head. he doesn’t feel threatened by other powerful people and instead wants to work with them. he’s just a good man still, even in an apocalyptic world. it also helps that andrew lincoln is so goddamn talented. there will never be another rick grimes.

and michonne will always be my favorite character. she’s been my favorite since her entrance. she just has a certain presence that makes me watch her in awe. she’s very resourceful and pragmatic, her creativity with walkers especially is something that stands out and shows she thinks outside the box. i think her progression as a character is severely underrated because people just want her to stand there and look cool while having bad ass moments. she also came on the show already knowing how to kill walkers and survive on her own so people overlook her even more in terms of growth. she’s obviously iconic with her look and katana and being such a powerhouse but she has a one of the most biggest journeys in the show. she goes from being a closed off loner to an integral part of the group and a leader in her own right! she’s very loyal but she’s also not afraid to voice her opinions. she’s strong both physically and mentally. she’s highly skilled. she doesn’t take shit from people and knows when things or situations don’t sound right. she’s good at reading people. she just always makes sense and works hard to improve whatever problems arise. she’s someone who loves fiercely and is protective of her loved ones. she also has a fun side and a sense of humor. she is still a warrior while also being a mother and wife. she’s just well balanced and someone to admire. and honestly danai is the reason michonne as a character has so much more depth and personality, writing aside she does so much with so little sometimes and she is always a stand out.

#thanks anon for letting me rant about them!#rick grimes #michonne #asks #richonne

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nerdgirlnarrates · 9 months

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So as we all know, you will feel terrible for large parts of medical training. My question is, just how bad are you supposed to feel and for how long?

#i feel amazing whenever I do anything in surgery #and the second I’m done I go back to being passively suicidal #I have cried almost every day of this sub i #I don’t think I’m emotionally equipped for this degree of sleep deprivation #also I need some #goddamn reassurance #and medicine especially neurosurgery is not the place for that #idk man I’ve felt like the worst piece of shit alive for four years and I just don’t know how much more I can take #I gotta actually survive this you know #anyway I would appreciate real answers to this #like does it get better or do you just keep wanting to die #medblr #med school #medicine #med student #my content #my text posts

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cuteniaarts · 27 days

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Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:

Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough

#my art #artists on tumblr #the legend of korra #lok malina #still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now #and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that #don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before #to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021 #because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing #but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence #anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he #*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character #for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop #I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like #I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her #if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet #okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself #lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer #about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long #this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh #I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out #*surprising #less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know #anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous #her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this #and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning #I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb #okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

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qrovidcore · 23 days

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man the thing about doing the temple of bhaal first is that durge is speaking from experience huh

#‘‘reject the safety of power. it’s not worth losing yourself’’ says the person who has just Been There all of two days ago #to the person who is struggling with this now in real time #who KNOWS that they were just there.#because he was there when they were. he saw.#just. the freight behind it!!#it caught me too in a smaller way. telling the children that you know it will be okay is Something.#and also just that. the *you trusted me when it was an objectively stupid thing to do* going BOTH ways #just. holds him gentle. as though that’s not what you just did for durge??#the. camp conversations after each one.#‘‘but somehow by your side; i still only ever saw you’’ / ‘‘but you saw something in me - someone else i could be’’#why are these two the same. why does it keep Fucking Me Up that they’re the same.#i just. POINTS at that.#THEM.#ANYHOW. WELL. JUST. I.#CAN REPORT BACK FROM THE FRONT THAT I WAS NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THE CAZADOR FIGHT #i think everything about THAT SCENE^tm that can be said HAS been said so i will!! mostly just shake my fists at neil newbon and yell a LOT!!#there is NO emotionally preparing for ANYTHING in that sequence of events huh #can’t even make a proper goddamn post becuase there’s just so no preparing. i just have to Live Like This.#and #don’t do these quests back to back you’ll just emotionally ruin yourself ;-;#(actually DO do these quests back to back like that. don’t you want a little emotional damage.)#bg3 #the paranoid android speaks!

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eigengrauone · 1 year

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grinds teeth. i am alone and dismissed

#im fine tho . i just have to work on my essay due in half an hour #but ive given up on it being on time so its kinda whatever?#but yknow. as soon as possible would be nice #and i have been left by myself which is both good and bad #and then while voicing my concerns told well maybe just work on it #wow yes i think just saying that over and over even when im just trying to make myself feel better is very helpful thank you #like i know theres nothing you can do specifically like im not expecting anything from you #but thanks for just continuously ignoring me and repeating the same thing thats really fucking helping #in fact thats for ignoring me for like the past couple of weeks #whenever i try to reach out just because i miss my friends and like talking to them im just ignored #and i get it we were all stressed and busy #but would it kill anyone to try? at all?#when someone has an issue im there instantly no matter whats going on with me #like when i sat on a call for hours instead of the work i was planning on doing #but esp recently that same decency is not extended to me even if i just want to talk about something just silly or whatever #so no this isnt about your fucking sucky work ethic or whatever this is about being a goddamn friend #but its fine #ill see you this summer i guess #npc don’t look #<- not abt him #tbey.quote

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neon-vocalist · 6 months

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I miss Rya. I miss Rya so much it hurts

#🗡️Cheri #I want to claw my heart out #Anything to stop loving someone who’s given up on me #And for fucking what #Because I stayed in my own house?#Because I saw both sides? Because I sided with my GIRLFRIEND over my metamour that I barely know?#I didn’t do shit to Rie. Or Rya.#I didn’t do shit to anyone.#Neither did Eri. So fucking sorry she CARES #The world isn’t all about Rie. People can have other relationships. People can pay attention to things other than her #For once in her goddamn life she can be a side character #I’m so sick of this #Eri’s been tearing herself up over it and I don’t know how to explain that it’s not her fault #Rie’s just a bitch #And now I’ve lost someone I love #Haven’t seen Lopi since she moved in with her nieces and things got serious with Rin #I genuinely feel like my life is falling apart #I just want my girlfriends back. They used to love me #They used to care #I feel like nobody sees me #I’m just a pawn in the argument #I miss Rya. I wish she missed me too.

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tundrakatiebean · 10 months

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Being served Artist Instagram reels is just like walking through a museum of the most fucked up organization methods you’ve ever seen

#Katie is rambling 2k23 #I try not to judge I really do #but this one person had a HUGE drawer that was just every single #watercolor tube lined up without anything holding them in place #there was like a full half inch between each tube #that is such a waste of space???#and they’re gonna jumble up the second you close the drawer #I can understand wanting to see everything at a glance #but like there are better ways #these weird minimalist art spaces are killing me #how can you create in something that is only blinding white and beige??#you don’t have any knickknacks??? no fun paint water cup??#not even a goddamn mason jar up in here?#just you organizing everything with a ruler to look put together #I could not live like that #and I think seeing so much of it from so many people is doing something to my brain

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h0neyfreak · 4 months

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maybe this is a controversial take but it’s wild seeing people in entertainment/the arts talk about having to build a social media platform to make a career as if it is not literally exactly how it has always historically been done (excluding publishing b/c that’s a different ball game). like there was never a time where things were a pure meritocracy and you could just sit around and be talented and have people throw money at you unless you were a nepo baby or an aristocrat or something (to clarify, being able to paint all day while getting paid for just existing is indeed my dream life I wish that world existed.) the entire concept of portfolios for artists or crediting for game devs is just building up a reputation/brand. do I hate it so much all the time and want there to be an option that doesn’t exploit people and grind them into a fine dust beneath the wheels of capitalism? Yes for sure. The concept of UBI to allow people to pursue the true endeavors of a human soul lives rent free in me at an atomic level. But having to create a TikTok presence is just the latest iteration of shmoozing to me it’s not a unique evil. We’re all just seeing how much goes into it for once.

#mine #void screams #<- new tag for my half baked discourse that u can block if you don’t want to see me clinging to my philosophy degree for dear life #idk I was watching a Cody Ko video of all things and he was talking about being a DJ #the Duke frat boy truly doesn’t ever leave u #and he mentioned how people don’t credit all the time and luck he’s gotten on the internet as having anything to do with him getting sets #and like. so true king. whether or not it’s ‘fair’ is a dif question #but I do think people assume overnight success is a literal overnight thing #when really it’s just that success is not linear #and involves so much goddamn luck and knowing the right people #it’s fucking frogger out here

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cetoddle · 8 months

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i want die