#typed on my phone with no spell or grammar check so yehaw

[rhythmrender]

2019 Rhythm's Rambles:

Every year I make the same resolution:

To improve and enrich my quality of life while maintaining or solidifying my stability in all ways.

This has brought about many different changes in my life both large and small. Most have been heart wrenching to do but every choice made has brought me to who I am today.

In the long run of all the different experiences I've had thus far, I have learned a few things that I want to share with y'all:

To each their own.

Every person has something they like/dislike/believe that might differ/clash with what you do. As long as no one is getting directly hurt, THAT IS OK. It is not worth screaming, stressing, threatening, hurting, or hyperfocusing on. It really isn't. If that person attacks you physically, defend yourself and get help. If the person attacks you online/over the phone/text, block and report them, do not engage. If the person attacks you mentally in person, remove yourself as soon as possible if possible and report them/seek help as soon as you can. If something online pops up you don't like that doesn't directly involve you or a loved one, isn't causing or planning a physical attack on a person/group/organization, then seriously click away/block em and go about your day. Life is WAY too short to let your day be ruined because you saw a picture or an opinion you didn't like/agree with.

Nothing matters as much as you think it does in the moment.

In that moment, something super important to you needs to be discussed, or planned, or has happened. The thing to remember here is just because it matters to YOU does not mean it does to another. By all means, discuss/plan/celebrate to your hearts content to yourself or with those that share the feeling but if someone just doesn't get it/care, don't let it bug you. It's OK that they feel different than you and who knows, maybe if they ask about it, you can explain the big deal but otherwise, just state it's important to you and then continue as needed with those needed/involved.

Everything worth it in life is going to take time and struggle.

Notice I said struggle and not effort. There's a ton of situations where effort does not equal the desired results. You will struggle. You will have to make choices you do not want to. You will have to talk on that phone with strangers/work a job you hate/barely get sleep/skip a meal here or there/be all around uncomfortable just to get to a point in life where you can afford to be comfortable. Unless your family is rich as hell and you're getting that support/money, you're going to have to work your ass off to get anywhere which includes working a ton of shit jobs until you gain the experience needed to get better ones. I'm also aware that jobs are hard to come by in many places so let me ask, is there zero jobs or only zero jobs you want to do? No one WANTS to clean shit off toilets every day for hours on end but I'm sure we all would like to eat and have a place to live, yeah? Stick through that job, do it well, then you can become a janitor who in many cases gets a better wage and benefits or just stick with it till you get hired to a better job. Never quit one job without another one already waiting for you. (However if you do get a job that is full out abusing your desperation for the job, report it to the better business bureau)

Being kind is often better than being right.

In this, I'm referring to arguments with friends/loved ones though this can be extended to other circumstances. Is anyone arguments over who's turn it is to do the dishes really all that important? Even if you know for a solid fact you washed them yesterday, is there really a need to dredge up an insecurity or bad past event the other has to make your point? If you have to resort to tearing the other person down to win the argument, you've already lost even if you are correct. It isn't worth it. Find a way to compromise or just drop it.

Not everyone is you.

This I have to remind myself of everything so often when I don't understand another person's actions/reasoning. Just because I was able to do something does not mean everyone can. They might have a mental or physical issue you don't. They haven't lived as you have lived/seen the things you've seen so they aren't always going to react the way you react. And That's OK. Communication is such a huge part of life, seriously. Try to understand them through their side, let them try to see from yours, and compromise. Find a solution where you can, accept when you can't agree and move on. You don't need to argue your point further once the understanding has been reached that you aren't going to agree. It's not worth the headache or the strain on the relationship you may or may not have with the other person so just shift to a better topic even if it's just the weather.

It's OK to have negative moments.

You can take a moment for yourself. Maybe longer. Just don't let it consume you. Don't wallow in it. This is such a super hard thing to do especially when you have a mental issue keeping you in the moment but try with all your might to find ANYTHING good to focus on instead. I've always said sometimes I'll either have bad luck in good situations or good luck in bad situations. Got into a wreck and got hurt...but I'm walking from it! Lost my job...but I still got the experience to apply to the next one! Loved ones betrayed me...but now I know who I can actually trust! Got sick...but I've got a bed and a mountain of pillows to curl in! Hunt for that silver lining even if you have to make one up. Hell, call/message someone and ask them to think of one for you. (I'm open and got a list if ya need!) Anything is better than defeatism.

Don't let the Desires of Now take away from the Needs of Tomorrow.

If you can't afford food to last till the next paycheck, you can't afford to see a movie. Yes, maybe you've worked your ass off for months, are really needing a break, and have decided to hell with it, you're going to treat yourself. There are other things you can do, cheap/free things you can do to get that ease that won't cost you your stability. Prioritize then budget. Same goes for finding a place to live. It doesn't matter if it's in a decent neighborhood if you can't afford it. Sometimes you have to live in shit holes just to afford anything else. This situation can also be temporary depending on your life and steps taken to try and improve that situation. I. Have. Been. There. and I can offer advice on where to go for help.

Not being able to help someone does not mean you don't care.

I don't have enough money to cover my bills, medical costs, food, AND donate to my friends that are in need of the help. I desperately wish that wasn't the case and have, on multiple occasions, donated anyway and ended up in trouble myself. This is NOT OK. No decent person wants to get help at the cost of another person's well being. Instead, try to share their situation with others. If it's a person you know or are near, give them a meal, a blanket, sometimes hugs or honest support goes miles and if you're not sure, ask them what you can do, other than give money, to help them.

Finish what you start if you alone started it.

Finishing a task can be seriously gratifying. Few things can compare that feeling of reaching a hard won goal. HOWEVER. If your goal was made in the conjunction of others, it can turn into a far more toxic situation than enjoyable. If the group is active and dedicated to see the project through, then haul your weight and complete the bastard! If the group is not, then screw them, don't let the whole thing fall on YOU. If it was something that could be done alone, you would have already done it. Trying to force it will only drain you of everything and even the completion, if made, will be bittersweet and more likely than not, lackluster for all the effort you gave. It is OK to step away from something bigger than you. Take what you've learned and focus on the next project! Keep your spark while it is still alive!

Do good things because it's a good thing to do, not because you might get something out of it.

There doesn't need to be a reason to be a good person. You don't need an excuse. You don't need to explain yourself. You don't need recognition. You did something and that's honestly wonderful! Yes, it is nice to be recognized, rewarded, hell, even just a 'Thank You!' would be appreciated but it is not the point. If you start to expect responses to your deeds, it will taint them. You'll feel bitter, annoyed, maybe angry because you did this great thing for this person and got nothing! You didn't get nothing, you got the knowledge you helped someone and did a good thing. You made someone's day just a little brighter, maybeade them smile, or feel a light of relief. That knowledge is your reward and can be the best feeling in the world if you let it.

You are responsible for you.

Every choice, every action, every argument, every moment is YOURS. Even in those moments where you feel you have no choice, it is still your choice. No matter the excuse. Own That Shit. As long as you are aware that your actions are all you, it can really help you to make better choices for your own life and happiness. Like how you're more likely to care for something you earned yourself over something just handed to you. You have earned yourself. No one else fought your inner battles today. No one else suffered through your choices. No one else made you decide to live another day. No one else has lived your life with your struggles, with your mindset, and your body. YOU did. And fuck that's amazing. No matter where you are, what you have done/are doing, what you're doing through, you are making your life and are completely able to make it be a great one! Maybe you need a little help to get there, maybe not but the choice to get that help, accept it, listen to it, and move forward is aaaaalllllll YOU.

And on that note, I'll stop. There are so many more life lessons I could share with y'all but I'll leave those for people that ask for them.

Please keep in mind, these are lessons I have learned based on MY life. These are truths I have gathered from living through struggles and situations that required such lessons to be learned. Perhaps my truths don't mesh with yours and that's absolutely OK. I just hope at least one of these helps someone with their struggles even a little bit.

From the bottom of my heart, the fullness of my soul, the might of my self wish each and every one of you a successful new year and life. May you find yourself a bit of happiness each day that brings you closer to your goals.

#2019 #new year #ramblings #typed on my phone with no spell or grammar check so yehaw